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"Vi, it worked!"
"What — ?" She feels her mouth move.
"Did you see me? My monkey bomb, it finally worked!"
“You did this?” That's her voice, but — shit how to put it? It's weird, as if she were outside her body, as if she were hearing someone else's voice. “Why?” Vi looks at Vander on the ground, then at Claggor and Mylo under the debris. She can still hear them screaming, telling her and Vander to get out. Her throat is itching from the dirt she inhaled while trapped under the metal door. And if she really focused on her shoulders she could still feel its weight pushing her down.
Everyone is dead, that's the only thing she can grasp right now. Powder's face changes from pure elation to horror and as if on cue, Vi's ears start ringing, her vision going dark, the only thing she can focus on right now, Powder, her light, is being consumed by the shadows of loss. She did this, Powder killed them, everything was for nothing, every punch she took, every punch she gave. It was for nothing, everyone is DEAD!
Not everyone, dummy. Her mind supplies, silencing the ringing, stopping the shadows from getting closer. Pow-pow is ok, she isn't hurt. Isn't that what we wanted? To keep her safe? To keep her out of this mess?
"No, no, it was a mistake — I only wanted to help, I only wanted to help, I only wanted to help." Powder shrinks, clutching the stuffed bunny for dear life, tears starting to roll down her cheeks, and Vi knows she has to go to her, to comfort her. She is her shield, but her feet won't move, she is glued to the floor, feeling heavy.
You did that. Vi recoils, stumbling back. Comfort her idiot!
“— only wanted — Mylo was right.” Her silent tears transform into an all-out bawling and Vi can only witness how her little sister comes undone in a matter of seconds, dropping the rabbit and punching her head, her knees about to give out.
Go! She needs us. And with that order from the voice in her head, she finally comes out of her stupor, the final push she needs to move. Is this for real? Did she lose her whole family so fast? So easily? It barely takes her two seconds to get to Powder but god did it feel like an eternity, she pulls her in, burying her face against her midriff and making sure to pat her head the way she likes it. Both sisters plummet to the ground, Vi taking the brunt of it and choking on the tears she is so desperately holding back.
"No —" Vi is almost covering Powder's small frame whole while she clings to her the way she did to the bunny, they are each other's lifelines now. Just one push away from falling into hopelessness, into the abyss.
She is not gonna fall, not on our watch.
“No — shit, it's not — it's not your fault. You aren’t a Jinx, it's — it's — my fault, I should have been faster, stronger, I should have moved everyone faster. It's my fault — you didn't do anything wrong.” Vi’s voice is raw, at the edge of desperation and tight from trying to push back her own need to come undone.
You don't get to be selfish, you don't get to feel, you don't get to cry, not when Powder depends on you, not when Vander, Claggor, and Mylo depended on you. Not when you failed everyone.
“Why? — Vi — WHY!? It's not fair, it's not fair. We didn't do anything wrong — we didn't do —"
You know, this would have never happened if you hadn't taken her up for that real job you were so eager to do. If you had listened to Vander, if you had been the leader he needed you to be.
Damn it, why is her head being so loud right now? She needs to focus on Powder, she needs — Vi's fist comes down hard against the concrete floor, letting out a scream so loud and long that she almost makes herself pass out. "I don't know! Damn it, why!? It's not fair — What did we do — ?"
"You were born on the wrong side of the river." Silco's voice burst their small bubble, making them both come to a screeching halt, and Vi's stomach drops. How could she have forgotten him?
Stupid! Stand up now, get ready to punch your way out.
"Vi —" Powder whispers hugging her so hard she can't draw in a proper breath.
"Pow —" Silco comes out of the fire and smoke that is the warehouse, looking almost pristine, hands clasped behind his back, his minions stumble right behind him some worse for wear than others. "Stay the fuck away!" Vi tries to stand, and immediately gets pulled down by Powder, the only thing she can muster is a glare. "You killed Vander! And for what!? To be the big man calling the shots? To get richer now that he isn't here to stop you from fucking us over!?"
Behind his back, Silco squeezes the knife he used to stab Vander, twisting it instead of gritting his teeth; he still needs to get closer and can't reveal his hand just yet. Killing them right now will end all his troubles, the last thorn that was Vander will be completely gone, he just needs to inch closer. Take the older one out first, then the younger one will follow easily.
"What — are we going to do now?" Powder is too deep in her head, she isn't listening to anyone else but Vi, and not all of Vi's words seem to be getting through. Her trembling voice throws a cold bucket of water on her fury, it doesn't put it out fully but gets her thinking about something more than just punching Silco's face.
Don't be stupid, he is got back up and you have to protect Powder. For the first time in your fucking life be smart. The voice in her head sobers her up even more than Powder's voice did. She already failed once, she couldn't risk it, getting her sister killed too.
"He is gone, we are alone again, Vi. What are we going to do? He left, he left — like mom — and dad. Why is everyone leaving us? Why!? Vi — !"
She doesn't have an answer, she is tired of fighting, of looking over her shoulder, of having to be better. Of this damn good heart of hers — everything would be easier if she didn't care if she could just punch her way through.
Silco stops, feeling a twinge of something on his chest at Powder's words. Why is everyone leaving me? I don't want to be alone. He remembers thinking those same words, still tasting the bitterness in his mouth as he shouted Vander to come back and another twinge comes to his chest as he remembers when he didn't. This little girl’s words were resonating with him in a way nothing has ever done before — well that is a lie — there is one thing that did. Vander's words did once upon a time when he still had it in him to fight, to stick it to those Pilties and show them the undercity was ready to fight for their freedom. "I wanted Vander out of the way so we wouldn't have to keep fighting for scraps, because he had given up and was dooming us all." He speaks slowly, with intent, contrasting greatly with the bite Vi feels as he delivers each word as if they were punches going straight to her head. Something inside her cracks and she no longer knows what is right and what is wrong. Why couldn't things just be black and white? Gray was so frustrating —
Lies! Vander said nobody wins in war, he was protecting everyone from — "Nobody wins in war." Vi mumbles, Vander wasn't dooming them, he was making sure no one died. He had their best interest in mind, he — "he was stopping them from killing us."
"And what good is that if we are dying anyway, child! If we are going to die why not do it while paving the way for the others." Silco moves closer, his voice going softer, gentler and when he reaches them both he kneels in front of them and slowly raises his hand to show Vi he means no harm. The knife is left behind him, close enough in case he needs it but out of sight. Vi glares, bringing Powder close, showing her teeth like a junkyard dog about to bite the hand getting closer to her. He nods, getting the message loud and clear, if he so much as makes the younger sibling flinch he will get his hand bitten off. Then he gently puts his hand on top of Powder's head to pet her, just like Vander used to do, even with the same tenderness, and Vi can’t parse the image. He is supposed to be the bad guy, the tyrant. How can he be so gentle? So — Powder responds well to the touch, pressing her head against his palm with a small shudder.
Just like she does with us. Vi wants to feel it too, the tender touch, the feeling of safety, her eyes move to Vander's body and a short whine comes out of her throat as she tries not to start crying again. He wasn't lying, she knew it deep inside, but Silco's words made sense. Echoing her willingness to fight for a better life. She hiccups, the whine becoming a long, keening sound she uses to let out all the hurt, frustration, and anger she is feeling. An image of Vander, Claggor, and Mylo at the Last Drop flashes in her mind. But Silco killed them! You killed them, you put that burden on Powder.
The ringing comes back, it's getting hard to breathe and Vi's vision, already blurry by the tears, is darkening on the edges. Damn it, what do I do? What do I do? He will kill us, he will kill Powder. Think you, idiot! Punch him! Don't punch him! Make him think you are on his side! Use him! Use your own strength! Good heart — don't let them break you. Vi couldn't tell which voices were hers, which were memories, and which were just plain waking nightmares. She hides her face in Powder’s back, clinging to every bit of warmth from her, focusing on her speeding heart. She is alive, she is ok, there's still a chance. But her breathing doesn't slow down, the ringing is becoming even more deafening and she is drowning.
"Help —" She whines, forming a fist and about to let her instinct take control, to let loose. She can't take it anymore, her mouth opens letting a war cry out just as she is raising her arm while holding Powder close with the other, and just when Vi thinks she is about to pass before getting even one punch in — it all stops, everything is silent her fist stopping centimeters away from his cheek. Silco's hand is on Vi's head, giving her the tender touch she had been craving. For a moment she can pretend everything will be alright.
“You did good, child, you protected your sister. You didn't run when that would have been easier.” He cups her cheek and raises her face to make her look at him. ”Raise your head, you have heart, that’s a gift not everyone can brag about — ” A sniffle comes out of Vi as she hears the compliments, her chest warming up and swelling with pride and delight, even when she is trying to look away, to deny Silco’s words — He's is lying to us. That's what he does, he lies, he — His thumb strokes Vi's cheek and the voice is silent once more, the fear that was shooting her throat close is gone as well and the only thing that remains is calm and silence, she can think, really think and not be distracted by the nagging voice in her mind. It's been so long. “Now tell me. What do you want? What does Violet want to do with her gift?”
Vi looks down at Powder, her heart shrinking, I want her to be safe and be free to be whoever she wants to be.
Silco sees this and recognizes that look, Vander had it once upon a time. "You want her to be free, Violet?" That's all they had ever wanted for everyone in the undercity, for Zaun to become real, to create an opportunity of a better life for everyone.
Vi nods, angry, frustrated with everything and everyone. She directs this look at Silco, and he flinches, getting a reminder that no one is exempt from being on the receiving end of her fist if they hurt her sister. Then she looks towards Piltover, looking at the tall buildings that are the bastion of everything that has ever hurt her and Powder. They burn, they all must burn.
Silco turns to look in the same direction, understanding, sharing the same resentment. "We'll show them, we will show them all."