Chapter Text
It seemed easier than just waitin’ around to die.
Word count: 3,988
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“Captain, Felix and the Vicar are arguing again.”
The endearing hum of ADA’s voice was enough to coax a smile out of Sana. She had been lying numb in her quarters for law knows how long. No medicine, no food, no water. Limbs plagued by varying strengths of tremor. Sweat came, so did shivers and so did tears. Her body was liquid, then rock solid, then nonexistent. She felt every emotion and none at all. Everything that seemed simple at the time had taken a large toll on her. Aches, pains and emotions accumulated over the past two years had finally toppled her.
Surprisingly, being a superhero wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Surely, she should be unbeatable, having broken a man out of Tartarus of all things, but she felt like a young soldier at the end of the war. One of those kids who enlisted in hopes of bringing home a sense of achievement, only to come out scarred, broken and alone. Guns empty, body worn and so much lost all for the so-called “greater good.” The list of her achievements was long and varied, yet she remained unfulfilled. Or was she overwhelmed? All she knew was that whatever was happening was wrong, she had no place being in the position she was in.
Time warped and waved around her. On an educated guess, she must’ve been lying there for over two days, but she was floating in between, unaware of anything and everything. It was unknown to her whether she was on her last legs, and it was unknown to her whether or not she cared.
Her crew was full of loyal people who fought valiantly at her side one minute and had her in fits of laughter the next, but they were still people who knew when to leave her alone. That was what she valued most. Oh, and their awesome styles. Do you really need anything more than a girl who can single-handedly take down a mantiqueen while rocking a green silk scarf? Sana didn’t think so. However, she thought it may be nice for someone to come in and see her. At least once.
Countless messages had passed her by informing her of her crewmates’ antics from urinating in the sink to ordering strange packages from SubLight, but none had managed to pull her out of the demoralising cloud that consumed her. She knew she ought to be strong, if not for herself then for her crew, but these days she had trouble discerning what she did or didn’t care about. All she knew was pain, fatigue and emptiness.
Enough was enough. Misery is an absurd setback for someone who had accomplished what she had, no matter what Parvati said about acknowledging and accepting your feelings. Plus, she wasn’t sure she could withstand another “cleaning” session between ADA and SAM.
Making her way downstairs, Sana could already smell wooly cow feces and… was that disinfectant? Law knew what went down in her absence, she was hardly aware of how long it had been. It was peaceful drifting in and out of sleep, though occasionally jolting awake with pains she probably should’ve had Ellie look at by then. Come to think of it, she probably should’ve accepted the food her trusty doctor had initially offered at the very least. She took her slow, shaking steps as time to mull over just how wonderful the human body really is if she was still kicking. Something about glucose stores? She decided to leave the biology to Ellie.
Being alone with one’s thoughts is difficult at times, but this was bliss. At the end of her walk stood her friends, and behind her stood her worries. The space between left her drifting peacefully like a small creature floating down a stream. This peace of mind was quick to be interrupted by a familiar voice so bright it couldn’t be mistaken anywhere she went.
“Captain!” Parvati threw her arms around Sana, holding on as if her life depended on it. “We were so worried, oh do have something to eat, I had Jun help me-”
“That’s awfully sweet Parvati, but I’ll have to speak to the others first. I’m afraid they may have forgotten the meaning of the word order.” replied Sana, scanning the ship. Her eyes stopped at the two imbeciles ADA had previously pointed out. Tossball sticks in hand, Felix and Max were hurling vicious yet childish insults at each other as if completely unaware of where or even who they were. Whatever trivial opinion started this was unknown, but Sana reckoned she had a good shot at guessing. She turned back to the flustered engineer beside her,
“That cannot be serious, is it?” Parvati shook her head, lips stretched in a thin, straight line.
At that comment, whichever demon was possessing her bickering crewmates left their bodies. The sticks clattered to the floor, their faces suddenly resembling guilty toddlers. Felix tucked his hands behind his back, flashing the sheepish smile she was so familiar with.
“Hey boss…” Had it been anyone else, she would be completely unimpressed, but her grin clearly told her and everyone else that she was far from it. Suddenly, nothing else mattered. Only he could put her back on her feet. No matter how difficult the time, he would always make everything seem alright.
“So, you gonna explain to me why Rizzo’s Rangers is better than Spacer’s Chosen?” Ventured Sana, bracing herself.
“No boss, this is serious. It’s about Halcyon Helen!” She was unsure whether to laugh or scream. The way MacRedd had cursed at Felix over the famed aetherwave star had led her to believe she had seen the worst. She was wrong.
“So you almost killed the Vicar… over Halcyon Helen? That’s gotta be, what, four sins in one?”
“First of all, I didn’t even hurt him, he’s the one with anger issues. Second of all, he’s not even a real Vicar!”
“The anger issues I believe. Your point?”
“Max refused to let me watch the new serial because you weren’t here so we couldn’t talk to ADA ‘cause she’s yours. But I was like, come on man, it’s the finale! And I’m your favourite crewmate! You’ll obviously let me, won’t you boss?” His rambling, although peculiar, displayed passion. Sana hadn’t seen a sight that happy in months.
“Absolutely not.” She may as well have been staring at a sad puppy. They held eye contact and the captain could’ve sworn she saw tiny hearts break in his face, but she maintained her stoic front. If she were Max, his hands would’ve tightened around the stick and he may very well have swung, but he didn’t budge. Snapping back to what she decided to call "real Felix,” his mouth opened to start back up, but she wasn’t finished.
“Not without me.” Added the captain, the grin returning to her face. His eyes lit up and she gave him a wink, amping up his excitement.
The crew had gathered around the screen, ready to get stuck into the latest adventure of Halcyon Helen. The red glow of ADA’s screen was the only light in the room, turning the entire crew’s skins to those of the creatures Helen was used to fighting. Felix stayed at Sana’s side, refusing to speak or let anyone speak until it was over. Especially Vicar Max, who’s fists were still clenched.
“This show is such bullshit, nothing like this ever happens on Monarch and those costumes? Horrible.” Complained Nyoka, though she was not at all above enjoying a serial. In fact, she would especially do so for Felix. She kills for herself and herself only, but it is not without reason to expect her to kill from him. Winding him up was her own distinctive way of saying how much she loves him, yet he would still hook, line and sinker take the bait. He’d go into a frenzy, calmed almost instantly by her familiar, rasping laugh. It was those moments he knew she would, in fact, give him the world. In response to that particular one, he simply shot her a look. This demonstrated his readiness to focus on Helen and only Helen. When it came to his idol, Felix wouldn’t dare to mess around.
ADA began the episode, the room now illuminated by a soft, grey light. The title appeared on-screen, reading “Halcyon Helen vs The Brain Eaters.” Comfortingly cheesy as usual. It was a classic, noir-style mystery opening with a shot of a table scattered with evidence. Spencer Woolrich’s sinister portrait appeared many times alongside Helen’s scrawled handwriting, pictures of grotesque fictional beasts and, of course, drips of the newest Spectrum Vodka.
Though having different degrees of enthusiasm, both Felix and Sana felt as though they’d be sick if they saw another close-up shot of Rizzo’s new “Spectrum Brown.” Law, they could’ve at least stopped after the rainbow. The only downside to the serial was the relentless product placement that served as a constant reminder of the dystopia within which they lived. Television should be a respite from the world, but the advertisement remained inescapable. Halcyon was definitely not what they cracked it up to be on Earth, but Sana was no stranger to this fact. After seeing the state of Cascadia, Rizzo’s was particularly infuriating.
Throughout the episode, Sana couldn’t shake the hopeless feeling inside of her. Where should she go from there? She had saved a colony of people, yet she definitely didn’t feel like an action hero. What could she do? Who could she be? At that moment, she wanted to be no one and do nothing. Before long, her eyes had completely lost focus and she lay almost limp in her chair. Was her mind buzzing or was it empty? She had floated out to sea. She had been buried alive. She was bleeding out. She didn’t know the sensation she felt, nothing felt quite comparable. She didn’t want to die, she simply craved rest. If she could put time and space on pause to stop, think and find purpose she would. So many questions, but which to ask? Slowly but surely, she fell asleep. Or had she fainted? All she knew was what woke her.
Flashes of yellow and pink bore into Sana’s newly-opened eyes. Beside her, Felix had broken into a full blown sobbing session. Though the surroundings remained a blur, it became apparent that it was more than just a sad moment in the serial, due to the way his crewmates coddled him. The screen was muted, leaving her no choice but to force her eyes to adjust. What she read came as a shock, though it explained clearly as crystal why Felix was in such a state. Halcyon Helen was dead.
No, not Halcyon Helen the character, but Ruth Bellamy. The poor actress whom everyone knew as her character, but Sana doubted anyone really knew her. That simply wasn’t the way things worked in Halcyon. Helen was strikingly beautiful, with cheekbones chiseled by the finest hand and a head of thick, blonde hair. Everything about her screamed movie star, though she had a certain edge that may have made her especially beloved. Sure, she was as beautiful as a jewel, but Sana had a feeling her fighting skills were not limited to television.
Sana’s first thought was suicide. Bleak, but an easy explanation for the death of a young, pretty actress in the world they lived in. It happened to Lorilynn Hart, that poor thing carried all the imaginable things that could be thrown at her by the industry, then one day she was gone. Downed an entire bottle of some medication or another from some corporation that didn’t deserve acknowledgement. Nobody cared, and this was why the text beneath the headline bothered Sana the way it did: “Who will Spectrum Vodka’s next spokesperson be?”
How dare they? The tagline was apparently a quote from one Administrator Ludovico and, in that moment, Sana swore to tear out his throat.
However, the captain’s suspicions were wrong for it was not suicide, it was murder.
Just then, the screen changed to an incoming transmission notice. Now was definitely not the time, but it was best to know what was wanted of her, in case things got ugly. Sana asked her AI who the transmission was from, and her answer? That was something she could never have predicted. Something that gave her a new drive, a new purpose, a new hope.
“Captain, this communication is from someone named Administrator Ludovico.”
Fury. Fury was all Sana was running on. She knew the protocol; corporation officials mustn’t see any emotion in you if you were to work in harmony. That was easier said than done when anger was all that was keeping you on your feet. Still, a job was a job and she simply could not mess this up. Especially when the final goal was destroying a key figure in the system she hated so deeply.
Digging her nails deep into the flesh of her palms, she watched as the transmission was brought up on the screen. The man before her appeared stern yet on edge. The wrinkles on his face told stories of endless work, likely the life of an average Rizzo’s employee.
“Law be with you, friend. I am Administrator Ludovico, of the famed Eridanos Atmospheric Complex. But there's no need to stand on formality. You may address me as mister.” Started the man in what was quite possibly the most pompous manner Sana had witnessed. She scoffed.
“How about I just call you Lou?”
“How about not?”
“Okay, Lou.” Sana was visibly falling apart, but so was he. The difference? He had just laid everything out for her.
“I apologise if I’ve struck too familiar a tone with you. Let me get to the point. Halcyon Helen is dead. Murdered. As the face of our product line, her murder is a stain on the Rizzo’s brand, marking it the tragedy of a lifetime. She was scheduled to be unveiling our newest product, Spectrum Brown, but we cannot move forward until we apprehend the killer. Do you understand?” He wasn’t even trying to hide it. Normally, these stuck-up corporate officials would be hamming these things up with misery and tragedy, but this man would not stop repeating the name of his product. Sana thought she admired shamelessness, but this man was running it to the ground. Clearing his throat, he straightened his tie and spoke again. “I decided to hire a third-party investigator as it was clearly the rational option. Something like this would be an unnecessary stain on my- our reputation with the Board.”
“I can’t imagine why. You didn’t do it, did you?”
“Why, you little-” Sana could hear a chuckle from ADA’s speaker, but it didn’t belong to the fuming administrator. Just then, another face appeared on the screen.
“All right, Ludovico, that’s enough. You don’t know what you’re doing. Let me handle this.” The new face was intriguing. His tone was comforting in that it reassured the captain that not everyone involved was a complete idiot. Based on his tone and his attire, Sana deduced he was not from Rizzo’s, yet she did not recognise where he belonged to instead. He continued.
“Captain Hawthorne! SubLight’s favourite freelancer. I am such an admirer of your work. Sedrick Kincannon. SubLight Underground. I too happen to be glad we’re hiring a third-party investigator. Those UDL guards truly are an eyesore.” His mild sarcasm set Sana’s nerves on edge. Most likely his problem was Ludovico, but it still managed to irk her.
“You’re just about two years late. It’s Sana Ambrose.” The eyeroll she gave was met with an amused smile as the man corrected himself.
“My apologies, Captain Ambrose. I look forward to watching you find the miscreant responsible and drag them out of the shadows. Helen was a talented woman, you see. She had a gift for turning her art into wealth. You would not *believe* the money she made us on dissident busters.” Sana wanted desperately to argue about how money wasn’t everything, but it was futile. Sedrick appeared ignorant, but he clearly had far freer thinking than his fellow negotiator.
“For law’s sake, Sedrick. Can’t you show a little discretion and not bring up your contraband operations in front of an outsider?”
“Please, Lou. SubLight Underground is built on discretion. It’s important I establish rapport with our new contractor. Let’s not give her the impression that you can’t be trusted.” So immature yet so stylish. Sure, he was showing him up, but he hadn’t broken and that was admirable. Whether or not he got the nickname from her didn’t matter, for she found herself smirking along with him regardless.
He ought to be careful, she thought, for charms like his tend to wear off easily. Yet something particular about Mr Kincannon struck the captain. Perhaps it was his green eyes, how the glow in them paired with his unshakeable smirk made her feel as though she were Alice staring into the face of the Cheshire cat. Perhaps it was the way she should hate his big-shot snark but his demeanour wouldn’t let her. Perhaps it was his dark skin dappled with freckles, less abundant than hers but still adding a significant flair. Perhaps it was the style with which he stated his intentions. There was a hint of malice, yet nothing she could pick out specifically. She felt as though she were dealing with the devil, yet he appeared to have his cards out on the table.
He was, in fact, so alluring that the following squabble didn’t seem half as long as it was… at least at first. Ludovico threw all kinds of accusations at Sedrick, calling him a crook and whining about being antagonised. Each one was deflected with some sort of witty response. It was fascinating how quickly he could fire them, but no matter how impressive he was, Sana’s rational brain knew that they both needed to fix their priorities. As she had predicted, Mr Kincannon’s snark then started to irritate her. Had they both managed to forget who they were talking to? Thankfully, her thoughts were shared.
“Honest to Law, how hard is it to hire a freelancer?” Noticing the silence, the new face added, “Apologies, Mister Ludovico. That was inappropriate of me.” The new woman, dressed in Rizzo’s colours, was visibly exasperated with her two male coworkers. She introduced herself as Constable Maria Keene. She explained that she had selected Sana as the third-party investigator on behalf of the administrator, as she had read about her confidence and strength. Someone like her, explained the constable, was rare. Especially being entirely independent. Maria Keene’s presence reassured the captain.
“So… how many people are on this transmission?” inquired Sana, exasperated.
“Just the three. You must excuse us, inspector, the situation on Eridanos is tense. Helen’s death has jeopardised our income, not to mention Mr Ludovico and Mr Kincannon… but that’s politics and it’s hardly my area of expertise. At all.” responded the constable. Ludovico cut in,
“You’ll be a guest of honour at the Grand Colonial. Sedrick won’t mind, at least I'll make sure he doesn’t. Now, I must have a word with him. I’ll leave you in the constable’s care.”
“Fine. But Rizzo’s is paying for that hotel room.” added Sedrick as the lines cut. Finally, someone Sana could reasonably deal with.
“What do you think, Captain? I’d be ever so grateful, and I know Mr Kincannon and Mr Ludovico would be too if they weren’t so… preoccupied.”
“I’d be happy to.”
“Excellent. One more thing, don’t be too put off by them. Mister Kincannon could lose his spaceport if the board gets involved, and Rizzo’s may never recover if the unveiling is cancelled, hence their stress. The law is simple, politics are complicated. Just let them do their thing.”
“Got it.”
With that, the line cut and Sana slumped back in her chair. Solving a murder wasn’t her yet on her CV, but she sure as hell wasn’t about to pass this up. She turned to confer with her crewmates.
“What. A. Tool.” complained Sana, motioning at the screen.
“I know,” began the Vicar, “that SubLight fraud seriously needs to be taken down a peg.”
“I meant the administrator, but thanks for contributing I suppose.”
“I’m with Max.” Said Nyoka. “I mean, he looks like someone who’d try it on with me at a bar.”
“And you’d refuse him?” Asked Sana, raising a brow. Nyoka’s jaw dropped.
“Shit, Sana, you surprise me every day.” The whole crew was cracking up by then, even Felix who had been holding his breath in the corner for the duration of the conversation.
–
“Looks like you really are a softie, El. Maybe now we can cuddle up and- OW!” Ellie gave her captain a hard slap on the back. Though she worried for her, having her spark back meant she had yet another cheeky bastard to put up with. “Who qualified you as a doctor? That hurt like a bitch.”
“Yeah? Maybe lose the smartass comments. You really sure you can take this on?”
“You wanna stay on this ship listening to Max and Felix argue over tossball? It’ll be awesome, plus Helen can get some actual attention for who she is.”
“Just remember who you are, cap. Nobody can have a fire like that forever.”
“What if I learn something valuable? Fuel for my… fire, or whatever.”
Ellie smiled, the ointment slathered on her hands preventing her from covering it. In her eyes, Sana was the bravest person she’d met. She only hoped she’d slow down. Enough time in her body had proved she herself didn’t do nearly enough of that.
Six hours. That was how long it took to treat Sana’s wounds and get her fed. Six hours and everything was flashing in her mind. The state of her the past few days. Parvati’s warmth as she threw herself around her. The harsh colours announcing the death of the actress. The boiling in her blood as she was introduced to Administrator Ludovico. The face of Mr Kincannon, harshly imprinted in her memory, taunting her. The searing pain of the chemicals Ellie applied that washed over her as each memory came and went. Six long hours.
Ellie had selected an eccentric combination of garments for Sana: Green shining trousers with gold embellishments, a white and blue striped shirt that fit around the wrists but puffed out absurdly around the arms. The most peculiar addition, however, were the four different silk scarves set out. Surely, she should select only one, but this was not the case. Her surgeon insisted that they must all be used for different purposes. One for the head, she had said, to liven up her “mousy” brown hair. Sana had no problem with her signature braid crown, even finding it rather exciting, but you could never please everyone. The second, Ellie persisted, was for the neck. Her choice of tie style was allowed, but the poor captain didn’t know a single one. The third was to be pinned to her shirt, as the colours were too plain. The fourth and final was for her thigh, despite not being slightly complementary in colour to the trousers. Their purpose? To look like a cool pirate. She could say what she wanted, but Sana was convinced her friend remained a Byzantine at heart.
Throwing on her jacket, the captain started towards the door when the room began to swerve. This time it was not her physical health that did it. She saw Sedrick’s face again, then Helen’s and something was scratching at the bottom of her throat. Ludovico’s voice rang in her ears, then Ellie’s, reminding her not to lose herself.
In order to learn, one must open their heart, even if it is to a whole new world.