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“You’re leaking.”
“What?!”
“I mean, leaking emotions into the Force. I can sense emotions, remember?” Ahsoka turned and glanced back at her friend. “I am still Force sensitive, you know,” she said with a grin. Rex’s face flashed with fear and in the Force Ahsoka sensed a spike of embarrassment. Bewildered, Ahsoka turned back toward the path. The two were halfway up a mountain trail, and Ahsoka was loving the fresh air and plant life around them. She drank deeply in the Force that flowed through all the living things, and welled up with gratitude. After so many years of war, surrounded by so much death and suffering, relief missions were an unspeakable blessing. And now that the Force no longer carried such a weight of darkness, Ahsoka felt like she could burst into joyous laughter at any moment.
But that’s what made Rex’s emotions so out of place—the war was over. They were on a humanitarian relief mission, trekking to a remote village with a store of medical supplies, and the threat level was low. She knew Rex usually reveled in these missions. Though she had never returned to the Jedi order, she was allowed to serve with the GAR. For the past 2 years, she and Rex had worked closely together and always particularly enjoyed these missions, when they could enjoy the outdoors while doing good. Maybe he was concerned about what would happen once their service commitment ended next month?
The only way to know was to ask.
“What’s bothering you, Rex?” Ahsoka glanced back.
“Bothering me?”
“Yes, you’re leaking, remember?” This time Rex turned red and gave Ahsoka a searching look when she glanced back at him.
“Can’t you tell?” He asked.
She shrugged. “I can’t read your mind. It’s just the shape of tension and nerves. Almost like you feel before a battle, but this is a low threat level.” She gestures around at the trees, tall and green with long needles, and the verdant undergrowth that rustled softly. “So what’s bothering you?”
Rex remained silent and Ahsoka turned back to look at him. Rex grasped the back of his neck—a familiar nervous gesture Ahsoka knew well—and stared at the ground. Ahsoka considered that he may not be worried about the mission, but something else.
“If it’s personal, you don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to. But will you at least talk to someone when we get back to Coruscant? Cody or Jesse, maybe?” Though Ahsoka felt s pang at the notion Rex might not trust her with his troubles, she also knew brotherhood was valuable and necessary for Rex and wanted to be sure he would reach out to those who loved him.
Rex stopped and finally made eye contact. Ahsoka watched his features shift from uncertainty to resolve. “I do want to tell you, Ahsoka. But I don’t think this is the moment,” he replied.
Ahsoka nodded and turned back to the path. “Okay. Is it about what you want to do when we get released next month? Have you decided on anything yet? It’s about time the senate approved voluntary military service and citizenship for clones, but I know it’s difficult to find a place when all you’ve known is this one life. I’d be happy to talk about it with you some more, if you’d like.”
Rex chuckled at Ahsoka’s boundless energy. She wasn’t so different from when they first met, for all that she’d grown into a mature leader as an adult. “I don’t know yet, Soka. Let’s just enjoy the hike for now.”
An hour later, Ahsoka continued to speculate about Rex’s mood as they neared the top of a steep incline. Rex had shielded his emotions more thoroughly after their conversation, but she could still feel tendrils of nervous resolve leaking through. Suddenly Ahsoka crested the ridge, breaking through the trees to step onto a high rock ledge. The view stretched for miles over the valley; the sun defined every rock and tree sharply with light and shadow and flashed on the river far below, near where they had begun their trek up the mountain. Ahsoka stopped abruptly at the sight; in a beat, as she held her breath, Rex stepped up beside her and she reached out her hand to grasp his forearm gently, over his vambrace. Slowly, without allowing herself to think too much about what she did, she slid her hand around to the inside of his arm and downward to lace her fingers with his. She continued to take in the view, finally breathing deeply and turning her face to the sunlight. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Rex look down at their entwined hands and then upward, directing his intent look at her profile. She added his closeness to the list of beautiful things about this moment. “Soka,” Rex breathed as the breeze played over them. “I love you. Back on the trail when I was ‘leaking’—I was thinking about whether I should tell you now that you’re not a Jedi and not my CO. And I don’t know what I want to do after all this but I do know I want to be wherever you are, if you’ll have me.” As Rex spoke, a grin broke over Ahsoka’s face. She turned toward him, grip tight on his hand.
“Commander Rex of the 332nd, you’re right: I am not a Jedi and I am not your CO, and I’m so glad you decided to tell me. And I will gladly have you with me after all this because I love you too.” Rex sighed and tipped his forehead to rest against Ahsoka’s and they stayed that way for a few moments, resting in the beauty of the evening air. Each quietly reveled in the wholeness that came of loving and being loved, and both were content to quietly drink in the new reality.
But Ahsoka eventually broke the silence. “Rex, can I kiss you?”
“Yes, please,” he replied, a smile I’m his voice. And so she did.
///|||\\\
The last leg of the hike passed mostly in contented silence. But as they paused at the top of another ridge for a drink of water, Ahsoka broke the quiet.
“Rex, I have two questions for you.”
“Okay.” He could tell by her expression they weren’t necessarily going to be serious.
“What would you have done for the rest of this trek if I didn’t love you? Did you have a plan?”
“Not really?” He shrugged and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I wasn’t captain of the 501st all those years for nothing. I may be the stoic soldier compared to you and Anakin—and so many of our troops—but Cody and the other commanders would all say I’m reckless.”
Ahsoka laughed. “Fair point,” she replied. He was incredibly brave, her clone commander.
“And anyway the moment was too beautiful. It just spilled out. But what was your other question?”
“On the trail, when I said you were projecting, you got really embarrassed. Was that all about—love? It felt… different.”
Rex seemed unable to decide whether to smirk or look embarrassed.
“I—appreciate following you. Into battle and all that, yes, but also on this trail. I’d been—admiring the view? And I thought you’d caught me. I’m sorry.” He finally settled solidly into embarrassment, running a hand over the back of his head. But Ahsoka smirked.
“Well, then, let’s carry on, shall we? See if we come across any more good views.” And with that she leaned up to kiss his cheek and started back up the trail. Rex tucked away his canteen and followed, a grin on his face.