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It was a confusing situation for Damian indeed... he witnessed so many things in his life.. and to be honest he was not even shocked that something like this could occur, they were no strangers to dangerous situations, and magic was also part of the job in some occasions. So many things in his life didn’t faze him at all and this one wasn't as problematic as the other situations.
Yet the boy felt incredibly confused and baffled at this!
There it was.. a young Richard Grayson in all his glory and adorable big blue eyes, smiling like a charming little boy as Bruce scratched his head, Diana hummed a few times and Clark kept staring.. like he was hypnotized at the mere sight of the young boy.
They didn’t know what to do..nor how did this happen, but in front of them was indeed a young, 13-year-old boy, captivating as his younger self from the past making Damian squint his eyes at him.
“TT…” Richard was smiling and giggling at anything Bruce or Diana said, and Damian found it extremely irksome. His smile, the innocent face, and that ‘naïve child’ façade. It was all too much for Damian to witness.
He wasn't bothered by the attention the young Dick Gayson was receiving from the others, this wasn't even an issue for him to begin with; it was strange to have the golden boy Dick Grayson a smiling and giggling young Robin, but that wasn’t of his concern.
Dick was young now so he probably didn’t even know who Damian was, making Damian troubled at the mere thought!
He didn’t remember all the time they spent together at each side, fighting alongside one another and facing all types of danger. He didn’t remember when they truly connected and became incredibly close, to the point where each could share a secret and the other would keep it sealed till death did them apart. Dick didn’t remember anything of that.. and that was indeed something Damian was frustrated about!
That’s what Damian thought of course!
Dick caught him off guard one day when they met in the living room, both sitting on the huge sofa waiting for Alfred to bring them some snacks. Dick wanted to small-talk but Damian only ‘tsked’ and frowned his brows skimming away as Dick kept talking and talking, laughing at his jokes, deconcentrating Damian from watching the TV.
Was Dick always this annoying when he was young?
“you’re always a grouch!” Dick smirked making Damian’s attention turn to him completely. The boy was baffled when he noticed Dick’s expression chance, from a cute and bubbly boy to something far more sinister and suspicious. His smirk was more perverted and suspicious. Dick leaned back and smirked once again looking at Damian, chuckling, leg moving up to slowly hit Damian’s hips with the tip of his toes, almost provocative.
“w…what has gotten into you, Grayson?” Damian asked shifting in his seat and moving on the other side of the sofa avoiding Dick’s gaze and pokes. The boy on the other side was still smirking, staring back at Damian, almost like he wanted to strip his clothes off, pocking him with his bare leg and wanting… no! craving Damian’s attention back on him. The way his feet were touching him was making Damian flush and feel incredibly nervous, the slow movement of his toes against his skip made it hard to ignore and Dick never removed his gaze away from him, almost like a predator seeking its prey first move.
“what do you mean?” there we go, that cocky attitude again. Before Damian had a chance to reply Alfred stepped inside the room interrupting the two boys.
“Master Richard, master Damian, your popcorn is finished!” he said placing the huge bowl on the small table in front of them, Dick greeted cheerfully while Damian just ignored Alfred as his eyes never left Dick’s body.
He was baffled how the boy can just change his attitude and fool everyone with that cute smile. Damian groaned when Alfred left the room, wanting to get out of this situation as fast as he could, not letting Dick talk to him anymore.
This wasn’t the Dick he liked.. the man who used to stand proud in front of him, a little bit too cocky but kind and caring. The one Damian loved and cherished the most!
He wasn’t sure why Dick was so fascinated by him, always poking jokes and following him around like a brat, unable to keep his hands away from the other and avoiding personal space as it was just a made-up thing. Well.. he was a child now, and yes indeed he knew he was acting his age unlike Damian but he didn’t have to be so creepy about it.
And Dick had this weird attitude of always acting differently only in front of him. When Tim or Jason came around he was acting like the cute boy he was in front of everyone else. Sure he had his beef with Jason sometimes, but mostly because he didn’t remember Jason all that much. How could he remember a person he didn’t even meet yet, right?
Dick was way too young to know who Jason or even Tim was and yes he was introduced to everyone in the family but it was hard to accept others were Robin after him, making him realize he was indeed replaced by Bruce. Damian thought it must have been devastating to him, knowing his father took someone else after he left.. for a kid young as Dick this could be truly alarming. But Dick didn’t seem all that much upset, instead, he tried to act like nothing mattered and everything was ok, he was Robin again and Bruce was his Batman.
Yes… Damian didn’t understand why Dick didn’t care that much, how can he just brush it off and not bat an eye over being replaced like a piece of furniture? Not seek a way to go back and find a way to age him up to his true self.
Dick just didn’t seem to mind being a kid again, close to his father and the men he admired a lot, making Damian take second place, again . The young Robin wasn’t jealous of Dick, he knew just how much the two of them worked together and started as Batman and Robin, bringing nostalgia to his father and Dick just living his life as if nothing has changed in years. It must be a truly satisfying experience for Grayson being back as a young child, his memories erased were probably the fact he thought one of two days gone by, and doing what he truly loved, saving citizens of Gotham and playing his Robin part to the perfection. Damian thought Dick’s mind wasn’t brought back to the time when something happened between them yet when Dick grew up and realized he didn’t want to stay by Bruce’s side anymore… all those memories were gone only to leave space to this still love seeking child that wanted to do his best after his parents died.
He must have completely gone over the fact both Grayson’s were killed since he didn’t seem to mention them once, and thus creating huge doubts inside Damian’s mind, yet he pushed those thoughts aside as he seemed to have a blast at taking his place and rightfully proclaiming Bruce’s affections!
“Damian?” Dick called for him while the two boys were on patrol with Bruce, noticing just how distracted the young boy was, he stepped closer patting his shoulder gently.
“ah…Gra—yson?” Damian turned around immediately shocked at the fact he was so preoccupied he didn’t even notice Dick approaching him.
“Scared you? How far away are you in your mind?” Dick smiled and poked his head with his finger trying to make Damian snap out of his daze only to realize Damian’s eyes weren’t focused on him. he was still thinking of something else or.. Better yet someone else.
Damian’s mind was racing, having Dick so close to his body again, even if this body was a stranger or even the fact his mind wasn’t the same, Damian still felt sad at seeing him.
He wanted Dick back.. the grow Dick Grayson and not this child! Damian didn’t have anything against Dick being young, but the fact he didn’t know the person standing in front of him was already saddening enough. he didn’t want to remember about other things that were his most cherished memories shared between him and his Richard Grayson! No!! This Dick was indeed now his Dick!
He was just.. A vessel for his soul and nothing more!
“j..Just ..!”
move
? What did he want to say? Why did Dick look so concerned about him? Probably being used by his father as a replacement, for Robin.
Was this all Dick thought of him? By now he should have been used to the eyes Dick used to give him every time… by now he should know better and not get too attached to the person in front of him yet there was still that shred of doubt that gave him hope.
Hope that Dick will finally awake one day and be his old self, come to his room and hug him like Damian was the only thing he needed to live. The only being on this planet that helped him survive this brutal and unjust world and the only boy he truly cared for more than any other.
“Damian, hey! I am here if you need to talk.. remember? I will always be here for you!” Dick patted his head and smiled softly making Damian’s heart skip a beat unable to process what was going on right now.
This was something only Dick would know and certainly something the old Grayson would tell him because yes—Dick always told him he would be here! How did this young boy know those exact words? Did Dick start to remember himself? Was Grayson coming back?
He didn’t know when he moved or how it all happened, but his body dashed forward, hand grabbing tight over Dick’s Robin uniform and pulling him closer to his own body, staring directly at his domino mask and focusing on his blue eyes. Dick didn’t move a muscle, not even shocked at the sudden movement, instead, he kept his composure as his lips curled into a thin line while Damian was still focusing on his eyes.
“what..did you say?”
“that I am here to help?”
“n—no!” not that… “those.. exact words?”
“uhh—h? that I will be here for you? Damian, you are not making any sense. You know Bruce would get upset if I didn't look after you! Are you ok or not? I just wanted to cheer you up!”
And indeed the moment was ruined as Dick seemed to go back to himself and ignore mostly what Damian was feeling right now as his bored expression showed just how much uninterested he was.
“i—I as sorry…” Damian got too distracted in his mind to fully understand what was happening. Dick wasn’t getting his memories back, and how likely could it be? He was still a child and indeed didn’t know those words his Dick used to tell him every time. He just tried to be polite and show him some concern yet Damian went and made it weird.
It was all on him for misunderstanding and now Dick was probably thinking he was weird and creepy. Great!! Something else to add to the list of insecurities lingering inside of him.
“Sorry?! Can you please…?” He looked up at Dick’s confused expression, Damian; unsure what to find in those blue eyes he could barely see, as finally the boy seemed to put on a normal expression instead of the full disappointment he had before, reached down to grab his hand and slightly move it away from his shirt.
Damian was still clinging onto it with force not realizing it even after making a complete fool of himself just seconds ago.
His cheeks were certainly a bright tomato type of shade as he realized he wasn’t letting go until Dick pointed it out, trying his best to retreat his hand and move away from him, only to find Dick still holding his hand tightly bound with his palm.
“G—Grayso just—let go!”
“no!”
He was so confused as Dick looked at him, searching for an answer, scanning his face as if he wanted Dick to confess something. What was he doing and why? What did he want?
Damian’s heart was racing fast, Dick finally taking the next step and sealing the distance while moving closer to the boy, only mere inches away from his chest. Damian was red, so much blush and his whole body heating up at the intense closeness the two had, finding his mind completely blank and his body not reacting to any time of order he tried to give it.
Dick was so close to him he could even hear him breathe under his nose, smirk painted over his face now as he spoke, pink and plump lips opening up to utter those words.
“you're cute when you blush!” and Damian finally snapped out of it completely, moving away with a forceful tug of his hand and almost fell back as Dick finally released his hand, Batman approaching them from behind Grayson’s back.
“what are you two doing? This isn’t the time to relax and have a chat! We are on patrol and just as the two of you were wasting time bonding, two-face and his gang robbed a bank!”
It took only Batman to make Damian realize he wasn’t in one of those shoujo mangas he loved to read and Dick wasn’t truly confessing his feelings, because Dick was already nodding to the man and turning around, completely ignoring the other boy.
He couldn’t say he was disappointed in all of this, yes! Because at the end of the day it was all inside his head! Dick was just being nice and a total dick to him
no pun intended
as he tried to get under his skin and make him look foolish in front of his father.
Damian was… enraged at the thought of Dick just playing the cute card and abusing his feeling over his embarrassment! How dare he think of him as nothing else than someone to manipulate and use against his father...
Suddenly Damian stopped again while trying to move, legs stuck on the ground unable to proceed as he just realized what had crossed his mind.
Feelings ?
Did he just confess he had feelings for Grayson?
And if that was true… how did Dick know? He froze at the mere thought of having any type of emotions toward the other boy, or better yet older men.
He didn’t want to admit to any of those things, knowing full well just how weak and pathetic you can be just by expressing too much and showing it unconsciously. Damian didn’t want to feel anything and especially not the feeling of love and affection towards a person he just had respect for!
Grayson was just a father figure to him nothing more. The person who was there for him and always helped him out when he needed him the most. The person who would always talk to him and solve most of his issues just by being there by his side.
Yes… Grayson was indeed special... but Damian did not love him!
No!!!
He tried to convince himself about those emotions; of how it was all just a platonic feeling of longing and caring affection towards a person he just respected when they finally reached home after Bruce scolded him for being too distracted and just being more like Dick, which helped him out quite a lot to see that Dick just made a fool out of him.
Another amount of feeling ready to lock deep down inside himself and never let loose as the agonizing jealousy and irritation of being just used by the other boy was utterly obnoxious.
He tried to push it all away and ignore it, he kept convincing himself that it wasn’t as he thought it was! Grayson was just using him to look good in the eyes of Bruce and yet even those ideas were something Damian wasn’t truly ready to accept.
The real Dick Grayson would never do such a thing, he would always try to help him and assure him everything was alright, help him on missions, and exceed in every way just to show Bruce he was good enough. Yet.. this Grayson was not here now and Damian had only himself to trust instead, and barely any other, of Richard right now.
His father told him he couldn’t go on patrol for the time being since his mind wasn’t truly in the right place, worried for the younger boy Bruce was forced to ground him for a while. Not like Bruce wanted to do so, he told Alfred to take care of him and make sure he was fully rested and comfortable inside the manor.
So Damian didn’t get a chance to leave, and I was frustrated for him since he wasn’t used to obeying his father’s words or just staying being like some sort of brat. He didn’t have a reason to be benched by Bruce like this! it was unfair! And all because of Grayson!
He was the distraction!! He was making him.. feel things ! Damian was changing in ways he didn't want to and it was all Grayson's fault!!
Those things Damian never thought he would ever utter again but yet here they were; roaming all over his mind like a disease just like a sickness he couldn’t get rid of.
Hopefully, after a good night sleep, he will finally regain some composure and manage to set his head straight, talk to Grayson and solve all the tension between them. Damian didn’t want to feel like this anymore! He just had to put an end to the awkward tension between them and focus more on his work instead of something that he didn’t even want to feel!
Damian settled for the night inside his room, making sure it was peach black so he could focus only on himself and his thought... Unfortunately for him, his mind was only filled with Grayson and his obnoxiously small body, cocky attitude, and snarly personality!
“Damn it, Grayson!!” he cursed himself while thinking about him, constantly like a damn curse stuck in his mind and an irritating itch he couldn’t get rid of. That night he fell asleep barely at 4:00 am trying his best not to think anymore. Drawing, reading, watching Tv! Anything just to distract himself from thinking about him again.
The drawing went perfect until he found himself sketching Dick’s face, his body, and his Nightwing persona. He forgot just how handsome he was while patrolling with him, standing by his side and running over the roofs of Gotham with Damian by his side.
Damian managed to draw a few sketches of him before closing his sketchbook and turning on the TV, just watching some corny movie to distract himself from further thinking. Yes, indeed that was something that put him to sleep pretty fast. Fast is five hours of futile channel scrolling but yet it was pretty fast. He never went to sleep before 6 am so this was indeed an improvement on his side.
He didn’t remember what happened after that as slumber took over making him close his eyes and turn his body to the side finally relaxing his muscled.
He was having a nice and relaxing dream, wanting nothing more than to wake up in the morning and think about nothing else apart from his missions and usual daily routine, working alongside Batman.
He had a dream that night… about Dick! Indeed… he knew it was a dream because Dick would never come to his room and sneak beside his bed, bend down and kiss him over his cheek and lips, enjoying the sweet scent and hot skin under his fingertips.
his fingers brushed over his forehead slowly sliding down his cheeks and lips, touching them. Damian felt incredibly warm and happy, the way those small fingers brushed over him, making him smile in his sleep, Dick smiling back at him.
those were small gestures but indeed something Damian needed to feel calm and relaxed. It always took just a small gesture to truly make Damian smile and lean back into the touch, barely a whisper or just a lovingly stare!
Dick was enjoying this! the way he was looking at him from above and smiling, tenderly observing as Damian's chest moved up and down, lips curled into a small frown and eyes closing shut. And the next morning when Damian woke up he had a thought that maybe Dick was truly inside his room touching him... staring at his sleeping body for hours yet---that couldn’t be true.. right?
It was all just a dream!
Until he crossed path with him in the morning and another evil smirk curled over Grayson’s lips appeared, giggling as Damian blushed whispering while he passed him by.
“you're cute when you sleep!”
And that was everything Damian needed to hear… he was sure now.
That… was indeed no dream!