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After a night of sporadic contractions, Dean woke up in the morning knowing this was it. He stayed in bed, not quite ready to acknowledge that fact though. Can was curled up beside him, one hand resting on his belly, and even though Dean was sure Cas knew he wasn’t awake, neither of them spoke.
The baby had been a surprise - hell, the whole relationship had taken Dean by surprise, though he seemed to be the only one. One too many close calls with one too many monsters, and Dean had found himself clutching Cas to him, admonishing him for nearly dying. And then they’d been kissing. And then messy, angry declarations of love. And then sex.
And now - now -
Dean’s gaze traveled towards his distended stomach where Cas’s hand rested.
The initial panic and denial gave way to a resigned sense of acceptance. They’d argued, as they so often did, even now. Cas never pushed him to keep the baby, but he had called Dean out on his bullshit excuses, finally saying, “If you want to get rid of it, fine. But don’t do it because you think you’ll be a terrible father or because you don’t think you want a family. I’ve known you too long - we’ve been through too much together - for you to lie to me like that.”
Dean crumpled, then, blaming the new burst of hormones pulsing through his body as he dropped to the bed and buried his head in his hands. “We have a kid,” he whispered, his eyes traveling to the door. “And I put a gun to his head. I can’t do this. I’m not the person you think I am.”
Cas dropped to his knees in front of Dean and pulled at his hands, forcing them to make eye contact. “You are the best man I know,” he whispered. “And you’ve more than made up for your mistakes. You’re already an incredible father, and I can guarantee that neither Sam nor Jack would disagree. If you don’t want this, that’s fine, Dean. But don’t deprive yourself of something you do want, just because you think you can’t have it or that you won’t be good at it. You can and you already are. If you want this, then we’ll do it.”
The silence settled around then, only to be broken, minutes later, by Dean saying, “Okay.”
***
It wasn’t perfect, of course. Nothing ever was, especially with them. But as time went on, they fell into a rhythm - they made up the bunker so it was safe for a baby. Sam through himself into the role of doting uncle, as Dean knew he would, and Jack vacillated between excited sibling and almost inconsolable. It took them a couple months to realize that he feared the same end for Dean that Kelly faced. Even after Cas assured him that a nephilim born of a regular angel was different than that one born of an archangel, Jack followed after Dean, trying desperately to make sure Dean never faced any danger or more discomfort than seemed to accompany the pregnancy.
***
Jody moved in to the bunker as Dean neared his estimated due date. Although she’d been hesitant at first, reminding them that her basic first aid training as a sheriff didn’t exactly mean she was qualified to deliver a baby under any circumstances other than the emergencies she sometimes found herself in while on duty, it only took Dean asking once, telling her his fears of what could happen away from the safety of the bunker when he wasn’t at his fighting best, for her to agree.
***
And now here they were. As the next contraction built, Dean found he couldn’t sit still anymore, and so he threw his feet over the edge of the bed. He could feel Cas shifting behind him and then felt a hand at the small at his back as he breathed heavily. In through the nose, out through the mouth.
“Dean?”
Dean shook his head, momentarily unable to speak. When he could, he tried to turn, but a twinge in his back kept him from being able to see Cas. “I think this is it, babe,” he whispered, feelings of excitement and fear warring just under his skin. “Can you - can you tell the others?”
Cas agreed. After placing a kiss at the base of Dean’s neck, he scrambled towards the door.
***
Five hours after waking up, Dean found himself in bed again. He was on his side, a pillow tucked between his legs. Sam was sitting beside the bed, holding Dean’s hands while Cas sat on the bed behind him, kneading at his back.
A knock on the door broke the silence that had fallen over the three of them, and the door opened to reveal Jack standing in the doorway, looking distraught. “Is he - is he okay?” he whispered.
“I can hear you, kid,” Dean grunted. “Everything’s okay, I promise.” He released Sam’s hands and struggled into a sitting position. Cas scrambled to shove a few pillows behind Dean’s back as he leaned against the headboard.
Dean motioned for Jack to come into the room. Jack scurried in and dropped to the foot of the bed. Dean winced at the movement of the bed. “I’m okay, kid,” Dean said, more gently this time. “I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”
Jack nodded, but he didn’t seem convinced.
Since they’d reconciled, Dean had gone out of his way to do whatever Jack needed to feel safe and comfortable and he found himself doing that now, even in the face of so much of his own discomfort.
“Why don’t you go set up a movie,” he suggested, trying to smile at Jack. “We’ll join you out there in a minute, okay?”
Both Sam and Cas seemed ready to disagree, but Dean silenced them with a shake of his head. Jack grinned and nodded and quickly left the room again. “He needs this,” Dean said, biting back a groan as he struggled to his feet. “It’s just a movie. It can’t be that bad of an idea.”
***
Halfway through the movie, Dean realized he’d made a mistake. In his rush to comfort Jack, who’d been nearly inconsolable when Dean first emerged from the bedroom with Cas and Sam shouldering much of his weight between them, he hadn’t paid enough attention to what his body needed.
He was now laying on his side on the couch while Jack sat on the floor by his head. Sam was sitting in the chair across the room, and if Dean had the energy to look up, he was sure he’d find Sam staring at him instead of the TV. Cas was perched on the arm of the couch near Dean’s feet.
Dean couldn’t see her, but he was sure Jody was near, either with them or in the next room, making sure everything was ready. And all of a sudden, Dean needed her. Now.
He’d been trying to keep his vocalization to a minimum so as not to worry Jack more - sure now that Jack’s fear was rooted in Kelly’s death during his own birth, despite Cas’s assurances that this would be different since he wasn’t an archangel. But now as his toes curled into arm of the couch where Cas was sitting, he couldn’t help it anymore. His hand flew to his distended stomach as he groaned, feeling the tightening of the muscles as they contracted. But more than that, more than the pain shooting through him with the latest contraction, was the stinging sensation and the new urge to push.
He felt, more than saw, the three others in the room, jump into action. Jack scrambled away from the couch, whatever calm he’d accomplished since Dean emerged to comfort him, while Cas and Sam lunged to their feet to help him. His hand latched onto Cas’s and he squeezed. The groan tapered into a squeak at the contraction’s peak, deprived of all ability to make sound.
What felt like hours later, he was finally released from the worst of it, just in time to hear Sam calling for Jody. And then he heard Cas’s voice, close to him now, whispering encouragement in his ear. “You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay.”
Jody sprinted into the room and dropped to her knees in front of Dean. He caught her gaze and whimpered. “Hey, kiddo,” she said, sandwiching herself between Cas and Sam as they hovered over him. “Think you’re about ready to get back in there?”
Dean nodded vigorously, not trusting himself to speak.
“Okay,” he could tell Jody was intentionally keeping her voice steady and calm, and he was eternally grateful. “Sam and Cas are right here, they’re going to help you to your feet, okay? And they’re going to help you walk to the room. If you need to stop at any point, just tell us okay. You’re driving the boat on this one.”
He nodded again as Jody got to her feet and got out of the way. Cas and Sam moved in, Sam grabbing his hands while Cas shifted Dean’s feet to the ground. Sam hefted him to his feet and Dean immediately stumbled - he would have fallen if Sam hadn’t steadied him. Dean buried his face in Sam’s shoulder and whined again as gravity took effect. It felt like the baby was right there, and Dean wasn’t sure he had it in him to make it all the way to the bedroom.
“Dean,” Sam was whispering as he held Dean steady. “Let Cas take one of your arms, okay? And I’ll take the other.” Dean nodded against Sam’s shoulder, wondering distantly if it was the only way he would ever again be able to communicate.
He felt Cas’s iron grip around his bicep as Sam shifted to his side to grab the other. Jody started towards the bedroom with the three of them shuffling behind her, but as another contraction snaked around his belly Dean halted. His knees buckled and without even speaking, Cas and Sam led him in a controlled fall to the floor. As soon as his knees hit the ground, Dean was lurching forward until he was on his hands and knees, and then he was pushing.
“Dean, love, you need to stop pushing,” he heard, over the roaring of his pulse in his ears. He shook his head and grunted. He knew Jody was right, knew this could be dangerous if he wasn’t ready, but goddamn.
He started panting, and slowly, ever so slowly, he forced his body to stop. When he opened his eyes, Jody was on her knees in front of him again. He didn’t trust himself to open his mouth - scared he might scream or vomit - so instead he just nodded.
At that, Jody stood up and then Cas and Sam were pulling him to his feet again. They practically dragged him the rest of way to his bedroom, ignoring his pleas to stop as the next contraction started.
Sam and Cas got him onto the edge of the bed, and Sam immediately clamored in behind him to provide him support. He managed to lift his hips with a hiss to allow Cas to pull off his sweatpants. Cas moved to the side so Jody could begin her examination. Cas reached for Dean’s hand and let him squeeze it again.
“Looks good, kiddo,” Jody said as she leaned back on her heels. “On the next contraction, you’re good to push. Is this the position you want to be in?”
Dean didn’t respond right away, his mind still trying to catch up on the sudden change of events. But when her question did finally break through the fog in his mind, he shook his head. “Kneeling,” he managed to choke out. “It felt - it felt better.” And then he was lurching forward with a groan, his fingers digging into Jody’s shoulders as that next contraction hit without warning.
“Okay,” Jody whispered in his ear as Sam massaged his back. “Get through this one, and we’ll help you move, okay?”
He allowed himself the tiniest push to relieve the worst of the pressure, but then started panting again until it was over.
When it was, his fingers relaxed and Jody took that as her sign to move. She rose to her feet and allowed Cas to move in front of Dean. Dean leaned into him when he was on his feet, seeking the comfort of his presence. “It hurts,” he whispered, forgetting, for a moment, that Sam and Jody were also in the room. “Babe, it hurts so much. I don’t,” he paused, licking his lips. “I don’t know if I can,” and then he was groaning again and shaking his head again. “I can’t, Cas. Make it stop.” And then he was crying, burying his face in Cas’s shoulder and clutching at his shoulders as Cas’s arms wrapped around him.
“You are the strongest person I know,” Cas whispered, also seeming to forget their audience. “I know you can do this. And you’re so, so close. I’ll be right here with you, okay?”
Dean knew he didn’t have a choice at this point but he so desperately wanted to argue. Instead, he nodded and slowly lowered himself to the floor. He knelt facing the bed, leaning between Sam’s spread legs. He clasped Sam’s hands in his own and squeezed his eyes shut. He felt Cas crouched beside him, a hand resting on his clammy neck, Cas’s thumb rubbing slow circles on the skin there.
Jody was behind him, and he could feel her fingers poking and prodding. He let his head drop to his and Sam’s enjoined hands as he let out another groan, this time accompanying it with a push. At Jody’s count of ten he forced himself to stop, even though every fiber of his being was urging him to keep going. “Good, good, so good,” Cas was whispering. “You’re doing so good.”
Dean nodded, but didn’t give any indication that he heard him.
They continued like that for some unspecified amount of time, until that vague stinging sensation grew into a burning feeling that left Dean keening. Jody’s voice broke through the sound when she said, “Baby’s crowning, Dean, that’s what you’re feeling. You’re almost done.”
Dean was sobbing now as he strained with another push. “I can’t,” he said again, when the contraction ended. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.”
Both Sam and Cas seemed to be at a loss for words, neither of them used to seeing Dean this distraught. But Jody remained firm and calm. “Dean,” she said, her voice like a salve. “I want you to drop one hand down, okay? I want to feel what progress you’ve made. Cas too.”
Though doubtful, Dean released his vice grip on Sam’s hands and reached blindly for Cas’s hand. Together, their hands dropped in front of Dean, and groped for where the baby’s head was just started to emerge.
Another contraction began and Dean was groaning. He and Cas felt the baby emerge even more, and then suddenly, at the peak of a contraction, and with a shout, the baby’s head was all the way out.
Dean was crying again. They withdrew their hands to give Jody room to work, but Dean didn’t let go of Cas. “Good job, kiddo,” Jody said from behind him. “Just the shoulders now. You’re so, so close.”
There was a lull, then, that gave Dean some time to shore up his strength. He wasn’t sure how long it lasted, but it ended with another contraction - the pain still a shock even after all this time. He pushed again, just as Jody coached him to do, and then he felt something fall from his body and Sam, Cas, and Jody all cried out. “You did it,” he heard Cas say, and in a fog he was turning and sinking to the floor, and then a baby, a girl, was being placed in his arms, and all of them in the room - all five of them now - were crying.
***
Jack burst into the room the moment Sam gave him permission. They’d gotten Dean and the baby cleaned up and tucked into bed, and then Sam and Jody exited the room to give the new family a few moments alone. But Jack didn’t seem like he could handle waiting much longer, so Sam finally nodded and gave him a smile.
Sam and Jody followed after Jack and the three of them hovered near the foot of the bed. Dean glanced up at them, dark circles under his eyes, but a small, tired, smile pulling at his lips. “You want to meet your sister, kid?” Dean asked, tugging at the blanket that was tucked around his daughter’s face so that Jack could see her.
Jack nodded, still looking nervous, but less on the verge of tears than he was earlier in the day. He shuffled forward until he was standing right next to Dean, and reached out a finger that he brushed against her hand. “She’s so small,” Jack said, his voice tinged with that childlike wonder that betrayed his chronological age, instead of his nephilim-advanced age.
“You were this small once,” Sam said, a hint of a grin in his voice. “At least for a few minutes.”
A melancholy settled over them as Jack clearly began thinking of Kelly.
Jody broke the silence after she checked her phone, and said, “Claire’s on her way, Dean. Ready to have all your kids under one roof?”
Dean looked at her and grinned. “Can’t wait.”
And though they didn’t have all the answers - hell, for the moment, they didn’t even have a name - Dean felt like maybe, maybe, all of this might just be okay.