Chapter Text
Wade was a bad person.
He had accepted that long ago.
Killing people for a living and enjoying it was something only bad people did. And god did he enjoy it. He loved slicing people's heads off with his katanas in one clean swipe. Getting their blood all over himself and his katanas. He loved shooting people with bullets, forcing that hot metal into their body, not quite killing them, but making them bleed and hurt. That is until he finally decided to finish them off. He loved watching the light fade from people's eyes as he gripped their throat so, so tight. Staring into their eyes as they struggle, kicking and thrashing, gripping his wrist trying to pry him off with no success.
He had stopped for a while. Because Spider-Man asked him to. Spider-Man didn't agree with killing so he quit. He never slipped up once, never broke his promise.
But now? Now Peter is gone. And Wade wanted justice.
+
There had been nothing. nothing but pain. Not since... since...
He couldn't remember. Couldn't remember his own name. But he felt so much pain. He needed to kill himself again.
He didn't even want to get out of bed. He could just rot in this trashed apartment forever. And not move again. Not ever. Yes, that’s what he'll do.
But shit- he's run out of ammo. Used the last bullet. He couldn't be alive. He needed to be dead.
He was starting to remember. His name, his life, and pain. So much pain. So much. Peter. He remembered Peter. Peter was pretty. He was so smart and kind. He was the best person. He dedicated his free time to swinging around the city and stopping bad guys. Bad guys like Wade. And for some reason, he liked Wade. Liked him so much that he decided to date him. Wade was remembering everything.
He didn't want to. That meant remembering Peter was dead. He was gone. Peter killed himself, Wade hadn't been enough. Peter promised he was doing better. He had promised. Why would he leave him like that? Wade thought that they had worked through Peter’s issues. He was happier. Wade was happy.
They were so happy together. Peter had stopped blaming himself. He had stopped self-harming. He wasn’t- he had promised Wade he wasn't suicidal anymore. That he wasn’t going to try it again, and if he had ever thought about it, to immediately tell Wade. But that was all a lie.
Maybe it was Wade's fault. What kind of douchebag doesn't notice their boyfriend is going to kill himself? There had to be signs. He should have noticed something was going on. That he wasn’t going to try it again, and if he had ever thought about it, to immediately tell Wade. But that was all a lie.
[[He probably secretly hated your guts the whole time]]
{{He only dated you out of pity}}
Wade should have noticed something was wrong. He’s supposed to make sure his boyfriend is okay.
His fault. His fault. His fault. His fault-
Wade got out of bed and searched his room.
My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault. My faul-
He needed to kill himself.
{{Of course, it's your fault.}}
The voices in his head needed to stop.
Everything needed to stop.
My fault. My fault. My fault. My fau-
He was throwing everything around to find something, anything to kill himself with.
My fault. My fault. My fault. My fa-
Why would Peter leave him?
[[Because you are disgusting]]
When he knew he was the only person Wade had left?
{{I’m right here asshole}}
He found a gun. A gun. A loaded Gun. Finally, he could be at peace. Peace.
My f-
He put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger
+
Okay, first thing first, getting shot in the head is the worst. You always wake up with an awful headache and basically the whole day is the worst hangover ever. And it takes a bit to re-gain recent memories, so Wade wakes up not knowing where the fuck he is or why he is there or even who he is for split second, with an awful fucking headache. But then it all comes back to him and it feels like a truck hit him emotionally. And now he’s angry at himself and ready to shoot himself again but stops when he catches sight of a photo of Peter. So instead he sat there and silently cried thinking about Peter.
The first time they had met.
Their first kiss.
That one time they fought for the last slice of pizza.
When Peter revealed his identity.
The long nights after doing their best to save the city when they would cuddle each other through the night.
He decided enough was enough. No more killing himself. He deserved to be alive and deal with the pain. It was his fault. He needed to be punished. So he laid around his trashed apartment and tried to get absolutely wasted but he can't cause of this stupid healing factor that won’t let him fucking die.
He didn't do anything. Didn't use the bathroom, or eat, or sleep. Things normal humans needed to live. But not Wade. No, no he would just keep coming back. Wade hadn't even gone to Peter's funeral. He's such an asshole that he skipped his dead boyfriend’s funeral, just because he didn't feel like it and didn't want to leave the apartment. Not that anyone would want him there anyways, they all hated him.
No one was gonna miss him.
+
Wade was been just laying on the floor of his bedroom when it happened. His phone has buzzed. He usually would ignore it, but it ‘Sexy Back’ by Justin Timberlake and that was Peters's ring tone.
Wade could have totally been imagining things or it was a cruel prank, but he didn't care. He had to check. So he abruptly stood up, which probably wasn't the best idea cause he got suuuuppper dizzy and almost fell over. He caught himself and started ripping the blood-soaked sheets off his bed to find his phone.
The phone hadn't come out and it was still ringing and ringing-
So Wade started aggressively shaking the sheets until the phone finally flung out-
And holy shit-
It was Peter. Peter had texted him something.
This was either a dream or a cruel prank or maybe Peter never died and Wade imagined the whole thing-
Wade unlocked his phone and yep it was from Peter's number. It was a video attachment and above it, he saw the last text Peter had sent him. It was a simple 'I love you too'.
In the thumbnail of the video, He looked pale and sickly and his eyes looked red and puffy as if he had just been crying. All Wade wanted to do was hug him and hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay, but he couldn’t. And the thoughts made Wade feel the rapid thumping of his heartbeat throughout the entirety of his body. He didn’t know if he should play it or ignore it. Peter was dead.
He had to be dead. Right? Right.
He was gone and someone or something had sent him a video of Peter from his number.
He had no clue what to expect.
He took a deep breath and clicked play.
+
Peter was sitting on his bed. His face was red and his eyes were wet.
“Hey Wade, it's me. Peter. Um, by the time you get this, I should already be gone. For a week.
I just want to say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left, that I left you but it was the only way I could see out of here. I don’t want you to blame yourself. I love you, Wade, Okay? Please remember that. Always remember that. You are the only thing that makes me want to stay. That makes me think about it. But I can’t do this anymore. It’s all too much. I’m so fucking lost Wade. I don't know how to get out of here or away from him. He wants to take you away and I don’t know how to deal with that. I can’t live without you. He has this hold on me, I let him manipulate me. This all feels like my fault. That I'm in this situation. I should have known it all good to be true. I was just in such a vulnerable place and it was the only place I could go. God, Wade Tony changed. When I met him, he was really great. I looked up to him so much and he loved to hear my ideas and about my days, and I really felt like I belonged somewhere for the first time in life. But that all changed when he and Pepper broke up. He started drinking again and blowing me off all the time.
The worst mistake of my life was saying yes to Tony. To everything, letting him blackmail me into going to Germany, letting him be my mentor, living with him. I looked up to him. But he’s just another drunk rich asshole who thinks the world revolves around him and that he can use his power to control the ones around him.” Peter was crying hard now. He was talking with such bitterness and venom in his voice Wade had never heard before. Peter took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.
I’m so, so, sorry Wade. You deserve someone I’m not strong enough to fight through this. But I just want this to be over. I love you. And I'm sorry I didn’t tell you everything. I'm sorry you have to find out about what he did to me after I'm gone. I was scared. I didn’t want you to see me as weak or pathetic. You are the only person I have left and I didn’t want to lose that. You are the best thing that ever happened to me- and I love you. Please move on Wade, find someone strong. Find someone who will fight. Someone not like me ”
Then the video blacked.
…
But it lit up again.
...
There was more.
...
“Hey, it’s Peter. Peter Parker. That's right. Don't adjust your….whatever device you're watching this on. It's me, live, and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time absolutely no request. Get back. Get a snack. Settle in. because I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to this tape you're one of the reasons why...”
+
Wade sat there. And he watched it, all of it. There were things in that video that Peter never ever told him. And things Wade knew had happened that Peter had left out. Like when he met Wade for the first time, both of them in their suits. Or how bad Tony really was. He barely said shit about that. Peter had lied about some of it. Wade knew the situation with Tony was so much worse than he was making it out to be. God, it was so much worse than he made it out to be before. Wade was so angry. It was all their fault. The reason Peter was so hurt. The reason he was depressed and his anxiety was so bad. The reason Peter was now dead and buried 6ft under. It was unfair. Peter deserved so much more, so much better. Peter deserved to be able to live a full life and get his Ph.D. and become a teacher or a scientist. To be able to get a perfect, pretty, wife or husband and have kids. To have friends and family who cared. Who made Peter want to fight to live. But Peter never had any of that. He only had Wade. And Wade wasn't enough.
It was all their fault Peter was gone. They all made Peter's life so bad he thought the only way to escape them, to escape all the pain they put them through was through death. He needed to make things right.
So Wade had made a plan. Sort of. Kind of. He was going to unalive everyone on that list, and maybe he was a little over his head (Cause some of those people are the Avengers, and how the fuck do you murder an Avenger??? Especially Wanda, she had such weird powers.), but he couldn’t die. Even if he failed, he would come back and he could try again and again. He didn’t care how long it took, he was gonna kill all of them. He was going to get revenge, just like he did to Weapon X.
So here Wade was now, strangling the fucking life out of Skip Wescott. A quick google search and Wade knew everything about this guy, more importantly, where he lived. And like any other unhinged mercenary with a broken heart, Wade had broken into his apartment and had destroyed the place while he waited for him to come home.
And when he finally did get home from work he scared the shit out of him and started strangling him. This guy was really putting on a fight, at least trying to. Nothing he did was going to stop Wade from tightening the grip around his neck. Right when he saw him about to pass out, Deadpool decided to let go. He wasn't gonna kill the guy just yet. Deadpool dropped him onto his apartment and he started to crawl away. This guy’s big escape plan from an immortal mercenary was to crawl.
"This is really embarrassing for you, bud.”
Deadpool reached down and pulled a knife out of a secret pocket in his leg. He threw it at Skip and it went right into his leg. He yelped in pain.
"Oopsie!" Deadpool stalked over to him and pulled out a katana.
"Do you know why I'm going to murder you?"
Deadpool flipped Skip over, him barely struggling anymore. He wanted to stare into his eyes and he killed him. He put his boot on Skips chest and pushed down to keep him from trying to get away. Skip closed his eyes tight, a few tears running down his face.
"Please, Please don't kill me," he begged.
Deadpool couldn’t help but chuckle. "Begging isn't going to help. Now answer me, do you know why I am going to murder you?"
"I- I don't know. I don’t know."
"Hm, well does Peter Parker ring a bell?"
And at that Skips eyes shot open.
He started muttering, "No, no, no."
Deadpool couldn't help but grin.
"You are a rapist. It's your fault Peter is dead. You disgust me, I want you to remember that." Deadpool ripped off his mask and his smile grew wider. His eyes were filled with fear and disgust and his face was covered in tears, red marks were forming on his neck where he had almost strangled him to death.
“I want you to remember this face.”
[[{{Do it}}]]
He lifted the katana up and stabbed Skip right in the center of his chest, and almost as quickly as he had driven it into him, he ripped it out, leaving Skip there to drown in his own blood.
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