Chapter Text
Prologue
Before I even met you, when I was enjoying life like when I danced with the underground people, I was swapped from one person to person, each for a dance, and then moved on to another.
And then suddenly, I realized I liked the person in front of me.
Hey . . . if I didn’t let go of your hand . . . if I wanted more dances with you . . . if I didn’t let you move on to another partner . . . or if we both ran off from the crowd . . . would you come with me?
Chapter 1: Hange Zoe
(This chapter is told from Hange’s point of view)
The coast is clear! Phew! Hange had gotten back to the surface without being seen. The merchant signaled a swift goodbye before running back to the still booming party. Hange took a deep breath and signed, exhausted. The sack of bat manure weighing in her hand was sending a foul odor all over. Stinky, but worth it.
Another mission complete! Hange herself enjoyed dancing with the people underground, but she didn’t want to waste too much time there. Obviously, there’re more important experiments and inventions waiting for her at the barracks. But the merchant liked her awkward dancing and gave her a discount for the bat dung.
I should hurry back. Hange had already calculated the route back to camp so she wouldn’t be caught. She ran swiftly on tiptoes like a cat. Even without candlelight, nighttime above ground is still brighter than daytime in the underground. “One day I will bring you light”, she added to her mental list of things she wanted to invent. She ran faster, but was nearly knocked off her feet when something zoomed right over her head.
The moonlight allowed her a glimpse of 3 people in civilian clothes zipping by on ODM gear. Huh, I didn’t know they allow civilians to use ODM gear. Hange made eye contact with a set of fierce gray eyes, but she hid behind the dumpster just in time before two more bodies flew after them over her head, both in military gear.
Squad Leader Erwin! Squad Leader Miche!
“They’re chasing criminals?” Hange was curious but she would definitely be caught if she snooped around too much. Besides, she’s got more important things to do the next day. Let’s just wait and see tomorrow. She turned and ran back to the barracks with the bag of bat dung. Eventhough Hange should be concerned about the route back, her minding was wandering about those . . . gray eyes.
Hange stashed the bat dung in an abandoned storage. “I knew you’d be here,” a voice rang from outside the window, making Hange jump. “Nanaba!” the soldier second in command from Miche’s squad. She’s already wearing her military uniform, which meant its already morning.
“Where have you been last night?”
“How did you know I wasn’t in my room?” Hange started to sweat after being caught red handed. “Please don’t report this to the night guard!”
“How can anyone NOT notice when someone like you goes missing? Come here, I got something for you.” Nanaba beckoned Hange to come closer. And handed her a brush. “I was the night guard”.
Nanaba is smart. Hange wanted to punch herself for falling into the trap.
She was punished for leaving the barracks at night without authorization by having to clean the bathroom. The other soldiers only laughed. “Not Hange again? Make sure it's clean! And what’s that smell hovering around you?”
Hange bit her lip in frustration. No one here understood the benefits of bat manure.
“Don’t mind them. What have they achieved? Just gossip.” Nanaba closed the bathroom door, shielding Hange from the peeping soldiers. Leaning on the wall, she signed “Now can you tell me what you were doing last night?”
Hange looked away but Nabana held her gaze, threatening more toilet scrubbing if she didn’t get a proper answer.
“Had to buy more bat dung from the underground”.
“What! Now that’s two rules you broke last night!” Nanaba’s hands now on her waist. “Why do you always sneak underground without permission? And what on earth do you need bat dung for?”
“…”
Not answering didn’t seem to work.
“Hange!”
“Bombs”
Nabana let out an angry cry and palmed her own face. Hange felt the urge to sit up and explain.
“It’s not a normal bomb Nana! Instead of using blades to fight titans, shouldn’t we all carry bombs as protection? Think about it. If one of us gets eaten we could use the bomb to kill titans from the inside or throw at them as a distraction!”
Nanaba let go of her face with a huge sigh.
“I didn’t say anything. Even I think you deserve your own lab, so you don’t have to experiment with weapons while hiding like this.” Hange is grateful to hear it. “Hange, you might not know it, but you are special and you’re determined for greatness. I know it. I wish you’d find someone who can protect you.”
“Huh?” Hange’s face reddened. “Why are you suddenly talking about this?”
“Calm down. I meant . . .someone who can take you to the underground with full authority. Someone who allows you to invent weapons. Someone who actually gives you privileges to do so, and protect you against those who get in your way. Someone who can push you to take the leap, to be the best of you. Wouldn’t it be great if someone like that exists?”
Hange couldn’t quite follow what Nanaba was saying, but her heart was beating fast. Yeah, wouldn’t it be nice to meet someone like that? This person almost seems like a dream, and it slowly faded away into the back of her mind.
Until that fateful day when Erwin introduced them to a group of outlaws that he had scouted from the underground. A dark-haired man with fierce eyes with an arrogant expression introduced himself on the stage as “Levi”. Just Levi. That’s it. Levi was full of mysteries, his manners were near intolerable, but he had gained Erwin’s trust.
Hange felt like there was something familiar about this guy.
Soon after, she wondered what would happen if someone like Levi used her bombs during fighting. He started becoming her muse when she designed her weapons.
On the day of his first expedition, Levi was able to kill a titan! He used a technique no one taught in the corps. The way he handled his blades, his speed, all of it was unique. Hange was attracted to this rare specimen. She wanted to know more.
However, she was only able to get close to Farlen and Isabel, Levi’s only friends, and wasn’t able to reach Levi at all. He was protective and paranoid, and Hange respected his boundaries. So she turned her attention to other soldiers, but soon found her mind circling back around Levi. The curiosity wouldn’t go away. He seemed ready to attack, even when he slept. She couldn’t ignore his presence.
The next morning, Hange was slightly dizzy from the lack of sleep. To make things worse, it was raining heavily and extremely foggy. While they couldn’t see far into the distance, they were attacked by titans.
Dammit! Even these stupid titans were able to massacre this many of their troops. Hange had to focus all her energy into surviving. She forgot about Levi for a while.
Hange didn’t see him again after they returned inside the walls. She only heard the news that Farlan and Isabel have died. Even though they only knew each other for a short period of time, she was still sad for the loss. How is Levi doing? Her thoughts were back to him.
Levi’s ability, his disappearance, his loss, remained in Hange’s mind. She kept thinking about him during training. And especially when she went to bed. On one hand she can’t sleep because of this agitated feeling, but on the other hand she didn’t hate it. This weird feeling.
One week passed and Hange had used up all of her bat dung on failed experiments. She needed to buy more. When night came, she slipped away to the underground city. The merchant’s store was lively as ever. She joined the dance but she still hasn’t improved one bit, tripping over her feet when switching partners again. But the merchant loved her clumsiness, perhaps it made him feel superior to someone from above ground.
After a bit of dancing, Hange returned to the surface with a new bag of bat manure. She waved the merchant goodbye and was about to head back on her usual route when she was blocked by three soldiers.
They were all drunk.
“My, my, it really is Hange! Were you sneaking off to the underground again?”
“Whoa you stink. And what’s that in your hand?”
Hange tried to hide the bag behind her, to no avail.
“Well you guys sneaked out too didn’t you?” she challenged.
“But you wouldn’t report us”, another soldier butted in, pointing the torch in her face. “And our punishment would be minimal compared to yours, wouldn’t it?”
“God what’s the smell? It sure stinks underground.”
“What about the underground?” a sour voice came from behind Hange.
She whipped around to see Levi. The Levi! He was still wearing his scout uniform.
The soldiers scattered after seeing Levi’s face.
Hange stood frozen in place, until Levi started walking down the route back to the barracks. “Aren’t you going back?” Hange nodded and followed quietly.
This is the first time she was able to walk back normally without fear of being seen. She noticed the calm streets, the sound of a baby crying, a couple fighting from a house in a distance.
Hange suddenly remembered her conversation with Nanaba very vividly. “I want you to meet someone who can take you to the underground with full authority. Someone who allows you to invent weapons. Someone who actually gives you privileges to do so, and protect you against those who get in your way. Someone who can push you to take the leap, to be the best of you. Wouldn’t it be great if someone like that exists?”
Hange’s brain still hadn’t fully processed what Nanaba meant, but her heart seemed to have. Usually, she liked doing things by herself without help from anyone. But tonight, she felt safe for the first time.