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He held your hand as you walk back to the House of Lamentation. His smiles and whispers warm your heart, making you think that maybe he allowed himself to love you now. To give himself the peace of moving on, to let himself experience having love in his immortal life. You think so. You hope so.
He kisses the back of your hand and says good bye. You pick up the courage to say it, to say the phrase you think he has never received in a long time.
"I love you."
You observe his face for any sign of fondness; does he feel the same? Will he say it back? You fumble with your hands, waiting for his reaction.
He closes the distance between you and him again, chests almost touching.
He says nothing, and does that smile you know all too well.
He uses it whenever Simeon asks him a question he doesn't want to answer, gives it to Luke if he ever asks what his life was before immortality. You know he's had his love before he dabbled in magic, before he became the sorcerer that he is now. The reason he's immortal now, as he wishes to live the rest of his life with his memories intact and secure, memories full of the fleeting love he's had all those centuries ago. He won't let himself forget, he won't let himself replace them.
He plants a kiss on your temple, keeping that smile on his face.
"Good night," were the only words out of his mouth.
You do the same - you give him your award-winning smile, bidding him good night as well.
He turns his back towards you, setting of for the House of Purgatory. You pull yourself together - you're not going to cry for him, not for another man that didn't have you in his heart in the first place. The affections he's given you weren't done because it was you, it was because he's missed doing those things with them, and them alone.
You take a deep breath, and pull the door to the House of Lamentation open, keeping your eyes dry as you pass by the brothers on your way to your room, willing the tears to spill only once until you've reached your room.
-
Lucifer knew from the moment you knocked at his door in the early hours before dawn that something was wrong.
You weren't smiling. You were knocking at his door at 3AM. If that didn't tell him that something was wrong, then Lucifer could go give Mammon his treasured credit card back -
"What's wrong?" he asked, before he could finish the thought.
Your voice was quiet when you spoke, almost a whisper.
"... can I stay with you?"
He raised a brow, opening his mouth to give a witty remark but took it back the moment you met his eyes.
You have been crying.
The thought immediately invoked rage deep within him, the urge to torture someone to the brink of ruin rising up within him.
But instead, he said nothing, stepping aside to let you in.
"Thank you, Lucifer."
-
You stayed by his side for the next few days.
While he didn't mind (he loved it), the Avatar of Pride did not miss the way you avoided a certain sorcerer. At this point, everyone has noticed that you and Solomon had stopped hanging around each other when the two of you had been inseparable. Lucifer did not miss the way you inched closer to him when Solomon walked your way, or the way you would turn your head away with tears burning in your eyes.
What he did mind, however, was the way you slept on his bed with another man in mind. He was the Avatar of Pride, after all. If he had his way, you would be thinking of him instead, with your arms wrapped around him and your head tucked underneath his chin.
But you would never be won over like that. You were strong yet so soft-hearted, so quick to see the good in others. He knew that, at the moment, nothing could compare to the sorcerer that broke your heart.
But Lucifer would like to try all the same.
Just until you would look at him the way you looked at Solomon before, until Lucifer was the only thing in your mind.
Until it was okay for him to tell you that he loved you.