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If you’d ask Jeongin what he thinks about Felix, he would immediately answer that Felix is an angel. He might be a little airheaded sometimes, and Jeongin isn’t the biggest fan of physical affection partly due to being incredibly ticklish, but somehow, just because it’s Felix, everything is suddenly a lot more tolerable. Felix is just a sweetheart, no harmful bone in that body of his, no malicious intent ever , so Jeongin often just lets Felix do whatever he wants, only pushing him away when he really gets uncomfortable, but that doesn’t happen often because the knowledge that it’s Felix already makes Jeongin relax a little more than usual.
That part of his feelings towards Felix is easy to explain, Felix is just an angel so he’s allowed to do more than his other friends (even if his other friends complain about not getting to hug Jeongin as much as Felix can). The other part, the part that Jeongin has been slowly discovering lately, is more difficult for him to explain, because he is generally not good at voicing his feelings to people, whether platonic or not, but it’s also difficult to rationalize for himself. Because the thing is that Jeongin has been feeling differently for Felix lately— he always has felt differently for Felix than for the rest because every person is unique, but lately he has been feeling warmer, giddier, fuzzier around Felix, more attached to him.
“Jeongin, are you with us?” Jisung pulls him out of his thoughts, chuckling at Jeongin’s dazed reaction. “Wow, where were you with your mind?”
“Uhm… I…” Jeongin trails off, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment. The last thing he remembers is that they were going to have game night with the eight of them but they were still waiting for Changbin to return from the bathroom. Somehow Jeongin got so lost in his thoughts that he ended up thinking about Felix again, which seems to happen more often lately. “Uhm—”
Everyone is staring at him, snickering and pointing out his red cheeks, which doesn’t help Jeongin’s embarrassment at all. Felix, who is sitting next to him grabs his shoulder and shakes Jeongin as he laughs, calling the younger cute, and Jeongin’s head feels like it’ll explode if everyone (and especially Felix) keeps this up.
“Ugh, it was nothing! You can all stop staring now,” Jeongin mutters, hastily grabbing a bag of snacks and trying to open it to distract everyone. The bag is not cooperating, though, and Jeongin’s shaky hands and embarrassed mood make him even more clumsy, so he accidentally uses too much force and absolutely rips open the bag, the snacks flying everywhere as Jeongin’s hand swings back and hits his face with quite some force.
His friends gasp as Jeongin winces and whimpers in pain, hiding his head in his hands, feeling mortified when his friends burst out into laughter. He knows that they mean well, and usually Jeongin would laugh too, but right now he needs everyone to look away from him.
Chan, Jisung, and Felix ask if he's okay and Jeongin just nods, hoping that that will satisfy them, but unfortunately it doesn't. Felix’s small hand slides from Jeongin’s shoulder to his hands that are obscuring his face.
“Innie, it’s okay! The snacks are all wrapped so they didn’t go to waste, and things like this can happen,” Felix chuckles but his voice is assuring. “C’mon, let me see your face? Did you slap yourself hard?”
Jeongin gives a meaningless whine as he slowly lets Felix pry away his hands, revealing Felix’s worried frown and pretty eyes. His freckled friend gasps when he takes in Jeongin’s face and Jeongin wonders if there’s a big red spot on his nose and cheek from slapping himself.
“Oh gosh, Innie…” Felix pouts and Jeongin’s embarrassment gets replaced by a little bit of fondness. “Here, let me make that better.”
Before Jeongin processes what Felix means, Felix brings Jeongin’s head closer and places a kiss on the side of his nose, half on his cheek. Jeongin squeaks in surprise and shoots back pure out of reflex. Felix’s eyes widen and a guilty expression forms on his face, making Jeongin regret his actions immediately.
“Ah— sorry, Innie!” Felix apologizes, slapping a hand in front of his mouth. “I forgot that you hate kisses for a moment.”
"It's okay! It— as you said, it made me feel better," Jeongin admits softly, his cheeks probably even redder than just after he slapped himself.
"Aww, Innie!" Felix smiles brightly as Jisung gasps.
"Does that mean that I can give you a kiss too?!"
"No! Absolutely not!" Jeongin pushes Jisung, who is sticking out his lips at him, away and Felix laughs and hugs Jeongin tight.
"Ugh, only Felix is ever allowed to do anything around you," Jisung wails dramatically as the rest laughs.
Jeongin blushes and huffs. "That's not true," he tries, but he realizes how unconvincing it sounds— he can't lie to save his life after all. "Felix is just Felix, but I still have my boundaries." It's still not the most convincing statement, but it's good enough to get his friends off his back.
Jisung snorts, agreeing that Felix is Felix, and Jeongin hears Hyunjin coo from somewhere in the group, but most of Jeongin’s focus is on Felix, who is shaking him back and forth, barely even listening to what Jeongin said yet Jeongin can’t hold back a smile. Felix is just Felix, Jeongin thinks and unconsciously reaches to touch the spot where Felix kissed him.
Ever since that night, Jeongin can’t stop thinking about how Felix gave him a kiss. He usually is hesitant towards the idea of receiving kisses, but Felix's kiss wasn't bad at all. It didn't tickle, it wasn't gross and wet, and it didn't make Jeongin’s skin crawl. In fact, it only felt soft, and it made Jeongin feel warm and giddy. Thinking about it makes Jeongin feel warm and giddy too, and he wonders what happened to him, especially because he still dislikes the idea of anyone else kissing him, even if they would do it on a spot that isn't ticklish. Sometimes he even finds himself thinking that he wants Felix to do it again, wondering if he will like it as much as he did the first time, but of course he doesn't dare to ask for it. That's way too embarrassing, but unfortunately Felix doesn't kiss him again for a few days and it slowly slips from Jeongin’s mind.
Jeongin has already almost forgotten about it when he is gaming with Felix on his gaming computer, completely immersed in defeating their enemies. They are mashing the keys on the keyboard, destroying all the easy enemies before they get to the next boss. Jeongin has lost count of how long they’ve already been playing, time just passes differently when you’re having fun, and gaming with Felix is always fun. Felix is super encouraging, which is nice because it doesn’t matter how experienced Jeongin may be in a game, he’s still clumsy and prone to making mistakes, but Felix takes some of that pressure to do well off. Usually they just lightheartedly laugh at their own mistakes, and it’s all fine because Jeongin knows that Felix would never get mad or disappointed because of any mistakes.
“Ah, this boss is really difficult,” Felix grits out when they approach the boss. “I couldn’t defeat him in single-player at all, but maybe with the power of friendship we can beat him!”
Jeongin snickers and bumps his shoulder against Felix’s. “You think our friendship is strong enough for that?” he jokes, and Felix gasps dramatically.
“Jeongin!” Felix weakly slaps Jeongin’s arm as the younger laughs.
“Kidding, I think we can come very far with the power of our friendships,” Jeongin relents with a chuckle. “But maybe some tips on what worked when you were playing on your own will also help.”
Felix laughs as well and explains to Jeongin which attacks seemed to work when he was playing alone, which ones backfired, which defenses he used, etc. Jeongin tries to remember and store it all in his brain, but knowing himself, he’ll probably only be able to successfully use one strategy at a time. He isn’t the best at using his brain while gaming, but he’s also not the worst, so he’ll see, maybe the power of friendship will save them after all.
It doesn’t— at least, not the first time they try to defeat the boss. Jeongin is way too clumsy while trying to implement five different strategies at the same time, and Felix trying to encourage Jeongin only ends up in him not focusing on his own character, so they died pretty quickly.
“It’s okay, this was just a practice round.” Felix rubs a hand over Jeongin’s arm encouragingly, sneakily squeezing his bicep a few times as he always does. “We can do this, Innie!”
“Heck yeah!” Jeongin resits on his seat and stretches his arms and fingers before they try again, fired up by Felix's encouragements. “Let’s go!”
It ends up taking a few more tries to get the hang of the strategy, but at try five or six, they end up getting close to defeating the boss. Jeongin is mashing the keys at a rapid rate, his character mostly in charge of dealing the damage to the boss, while Felix encourages him and supports him in the game.
“Ah! Dangit, I died— you got this, Innie!” Felix exclaims, and Jeongin barely processes what he says in his focus. “Finish him! Ack— nice dodge! Yes! Come on, just a little more!— Yes! You did it!”
Felix cheers and Jeongin falls back in his chair, breathing out in relief as he relaxes his previously tensed muscles.
“You did that , Jeongin! Oh my gosh!” Felix pulls Jeongin upright and into a hug, planting a big fat smooch on his cheek. Jeongin tenses a little and his cheeks heat up in surprise, but he doesn’t shoot back like last time. Nevertheless, Felix seems to have noticed Jeongin’s shock, because he pulls back and rubs his neck with a guilty expression.
“Ah— sorry… I got a little too excited there.” Felix’s cheeks redden a little and Jeongin just can’t be mad at him.
“It’s okay,” Jeongin tells him genuinely, cheeks as red as Felix’s. His brain is still a bit dazed, having to process that Felix gave him a kiss again, but he definitely didn’t dislike it. It felt nice again, maybe even better than the last time. Felix’s lips are just really soft, and Jeongin thinks that he deserved that kiss for working hard and defeating the boss, so, nothing special, right?
Jeongin glances at Felix again, who just grins widely at him, shining brighter than the sun, and Jeongin retracts his statement that it’s nothing special— because Felix is special. Felix manages to conjure up a storm in Jeongin’s chest with just one smile, with just one little kiss on his cheek he has Jeongin craving for more. That must be special, right?
Jeongin suddenly feels a rush of fondness and giddiness surge through his veins, so he hugs Felix again. Felix looks happily surprised and hugs Jeongin back tightly, squishing his cheek against Jeongin’s and swaying them a little.
“I told you the power of our friendship was enough!” Felix says, and Jeongin laughs, feeling Felix’s jaw move against his own as he speaks. He almost wishes that Felix would turn his head and kiss him again. Or maybe he just completely wishes that.
He distractedly nods his head against Felix’s before pulling back a little. “I guess it did.”
Felix smiles and squishes Jeongin’s cheeks between his hands, scrunching his nose as he makes some incoherent sounds which Jeongin recognizes as a sign that Felix finds him cute. Jeongin chuckles at him as Felix lets go and sighs.
“Well, I’m tired. Let’s call it a day here?” he suggests, and Jeongin hums in agreement, though he is more occupied with staring at Felix’s pretty smile. “It was fun! We definitely have to finish the game one day, though!”
“Yeah,” Jeongin absentmindedly agrees as Felix hugs him again before he heads out, leaving Jeongin feeling all floaty and nice. If he feels like this every time Felix gives him a kiss, he wouldn’t mind if Felix did it more often.
Unfortunately, Jeongin doesn’t have the courage nor the time or mind to ask for it. Lately, he has been busy with all kinds of things and his brain is a scrambled mess from practicing singing all day, but he’s also been distracted by his thoughts about Felix, wondering if he’s developing romantic feelings for his friend. It all doesn’t help that Felix hasn't kissed him in a while (only a few days, but it pales compared to the amount of time that Jeongin has spent thinking about it), so Jeongin finds himself lying awake until late hours, his mind not wanting to settle.
Eventually, he sighs and gives up, deciding to get himself a glass of water or something. Maybe that’ll help. He sluggishly shuffles over to the kitchen, blindly reaching around for the light switch and wincing when he turns the blinding light on. He takes a second to let his eyes adjust to the light before he heads over to the sink to fill a glass of water. As he gulps down the liquid he wonders why people do this often, because he doesn’t feel like it’s helping him. He was a little thirsty, so that’s better now, but he doesn’t feel like he can fall asleep more easily now. Just as he sets down his glass and thinks about what to do next, he hears the bathroom door and Felix appears.
“Oh, hey, Innie. You’re still awake?” Felix looks surprised to see Jeongin awake. Jeongin doesn’t know if he should be surprised to see Felix awake as well, since he has no idea what time it is nor at what time Felix usually goes to sleep— Jeongin is normally already asleep or curled up in his bed by then.
“Yeah, can’t really sleep so I grabbed myself a glass of water.” Jeongin gestures to the empty glass. “Are you only heading to bed just now?”
Felix nods and bashfully rubs his neck. “Yeah, uhm, I lost track of time while playing a game.”
Jeongin chuckles and rolls his eyes, typical Felix . He has to refrain from asking about the game, though, otherwise they’ll end up talking about games for another hour or even until morning, which wouldn’t be good.
“But you can’t sleep? Any particular reason?” Felix asks, pulling Jeongin out of his gaming thoughts.
“Can’t really settle my mind, I guess,” Jeongin shrugs noncommittally.
Felix gives him a compassionate look and walks over to massage his shoulders a little, causing some of the tension to seep out of Jeongin’s body. Jeongin lets out an appreciative breath and Felix smiles.
“Is there anything I can do?” his freckled friend asks, digging his fingers into Jeongin’s tense muscles. “Have you tried listening to ASMR?”
Jeongin nods, closing his eyes and enjoying how Felix helps loosen his muscles. “I have, but I can’t find any good ones.”
Felix hums, a nice and low rumbling sound, and Jeongin thinks that maybe he could fall asleep to the sound of Felix talking to him. As if Felix reads his mind, he suggests,
“Maybe I could try doing some live ASMR?”
Jeongin opens his eyes and looks at Felix in surprise. “Yeah? You’d want to do that?”
“Yeah! I love doing ASMR, and if it helps you out, then of course!” Felix grins and Jeongin wonders if there is a sweeter person out there than Felix. He can’t imagine that there is.
Felix drags him over to Jeongin’s room and lets Jeongin get cozy in his bed before Felix comes to sit on the edge. He freezes mid-move, though, and looks at Jeongin with a hesitant yet coy grin. Jeongin squints at him, trying to figure out what he’s thinking, but he can’t decipher the look, so he just decides to ask.
“What is it, Lixie?”
“Well, I was thinking…” Felix fidgets with his hand as he looks down with a bashful look. “It usually helps me to hold something or someone while sleeping, so…” he trails off, looking at Jeongin hopefully.
Jeongin snorts and snickers at Felix’s obvious request to cuddle. Well, if it helps him, it might help me too, right? he thinks, remembering that others have said to sleep better when holding something too. That, and he can’t say no to Felix’s pleading and sparkling eyes. He just can’t.
“Do you want to cuddle, Lixie?” he asks, quirking up an eyebrow but not being able to hold back a smile at Felix's shy yet victorious grin.
"Yes…" Again those pleading eyes, making Jeongin all weak.
"Fine then, come here." Jeongin scoots back and makes room for Felix, who eagerly climbs in under the covers next to Jeongin.
Jeongin’s breath hitches slightly when he sees how close Felix's face is when he lies down facing Jeongin, and he flushes when Felix grabs his arms and places them around his waist so that Jeongin is holding him— right, what were we doing again? Jeongin’s brain is completely fried, only filled with Felix, Felix, Felix. Felix, who is looking at him with slightly lidded eyes in anticipation of something that Jeongin doesn’t have the mind for to think of what it could be. His heart is pounding in his throat as he licks his lips and his eyes flit down to Felix’s lips— gosh, what am I thinking? What am I doing? Why am I feeling this warm? —
“Innie?” Felix pulls him out of his thoughts and Jeongin flushes even more. “What kind of ASMR should I do? Do you have any requests?”
Right. “Uhm, you— you can just talk to me or something, whisper to me, tell me a story, sing for me, whatever you want,” Jeongin tells him softly before he closes his eyes, internally thanking the darkness for hiding his red cheeks.
Felix hums and pulls Jeongin a little closer, getting comfortable as he mindlessly hums a tune that Jeongin doesn’t recognize and massages Jeongin’s arm and shoulder. It’s a bit warm being so close to Felix, but it’s a nice warmth, and Jeongin already feels himself drifting off a little, surrounded by his friend’s warmth and feeling the low rumbles in Felix’s chest resonate in his own. He unconsciously keeps on scooting closer to Felix as he starts telling some fairytale, the story mixing with Jeongin’s own imagination as he buries his face in the inviting comfort of Felix’s chest. In his mind, he and Felix go on an adventure together, overcoming hardships and living happily ever after, giving each other plenty of kisses of course.
“And they lived happily ever after,” Felix narrates in his deep soothing voice, pausing for a moment before he whispers something. “Are you… Innie?”
Jeongin is already too far gone to dreamland to catch what Felix whispers to him, but he doesn’t miss the way Felix’s small hand cards through his hair as he tells Jeongin ‘good night, sleep well’ . Jeongin hums sleepily and nuzzles closer, hearing Felix laugh softly, his fingers still soothingly rubbing over Jeongin’s scalp. After that, it’s silent for a moment, Jeongin drifting off further until he suddenly feels a soft sensation on his cheek and he recognizes it to be the nice feeling of Felix’s lips on his skin. The spot where Felix kissed warms up as a rush of butterflies flaps through Jeongin’s chest and he pulls Felix closer, almost crushing him between his arms as Jeongin hides his head in the other’s chest. Felix gasps softly but he seems to understand that Jeongin doesn’t want him to let go, so he relaxes in Jeongin’s arms and hugs him back. Jeongin doesn’t know if Felix gives him another kiss on top of his head, but in his imagination, Felix gives him all the kisses he wants, and that imagination slowly bleeds into his dreams.
And if Jeongin wakes up the next morning still in Felix’s arms and he can’t hold back the widest smile as he watches Felix sleep peacefully, only pulling Jeongin closer when the younger tries to get out of bed, then that is only for Jeongin to know and think about for the rest of the day, together with the kiss Felix gave him.
—
Jeongin is feeling dejected as he walks home from his singing practice. His teacher told him that he hasn’t been improving lately and Jeongin knows that, it’s incredibly frustrating, but it doesn’t feel good to be told that, it just ruins your mood. The thought of his friends (and especially Felix) being there when he comes back to the dorm does cheer him up a little, but still he kicks off his shoes and doesn’t bother to place them neatly when he returns.
He sighs as he enters the living room but stops in his tracks as he gets a whiff of something sweet. More specifically, Felix’s iconic brownies. He lets out a breath of relief. This is just what he needed.
“Ah! Innie, you’re back!” Felix greets him with a grin, still wearing an apron covered with flour. He looks cute. “Just in time to taste my brownies! I added a new ingredient, and who better to test it than my number one brownie fan?”
Jeongin laughs, proud to be called Felix’s number one brownie fan and to get the privilege to be the first to taste Felix’s new recipe. He hurries over to the kitchen where a batch of steaming brownies lie on a plate and all but forgets about his struggles from not too long ago. Jeongin’s mouth already waters at just the sight of them, but the smell is amazing too.
“Go ahead! Try one! They’re still nice and warm,” Felix urges him, gently pushing him towards the counters. “Or shall I feed you?”
Jeongin snorts and blushes, opening and closing his mouth without getting any sound out. What is he supposed to say to that? He can grab one himself just fine, but somehow the idea of Felix feeding him interests him, he doesn’t mind the idea.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Felix grins cheekily and grabs a brownie, his hand hovering under it to catch any stray crumbs falling down. “Here, say aah~”
Jeongin chuckles and rolls his eyes but still opens his mouth and lets Felix feed him— well, he lets Felix put the brownie in his mouth and he eats it in one bite.
“Mhhmhmhh! This is mmwhamazing!” Jeongin exclaims, a hand in front of his mouth as it still is full of the delicious brownie. “How do you manage to make it better every time?”
Felix smiles bashfully and shrugs. “Dunno, I just think of what could be better compared to the last time, I guess?”
“Well, that’s already a feat because I think it’s perfect every time, but you still manage to make it better,” Jeongin tells him earnestly. “You’re really the brownie master.”
Felix laughs and softly slaps Jeongin’s shoulder, but Jeongin doesn’t miss the way Felix’s cheeks redden a little.
“This is why I call you my number one fan.”
Jeongin gives Felix finger guns before he asks if he can have another brownie. Felix snickers and tells him that he can have as many as he wants as long as he leaves some for their friends, because he made too many, as Felix always does. Jeongin immediately stuffs another brownie in his mouth and exaggeratedly groans in delight.
“Mmm, this is just what I needed,” he sighs as he grabs another brownie. “Your brownies can lift any mood, can bless any soul, they are heaven .”
Felix all but cackles and grabs Jeongin’s cheeks as he eats the brownie. “Ah! Jeongin, why are you so cute? Why are you so sweet?”
“Me? Sweet? Your brownies are sweet!” Jeongin grins and Felix barks out a laugh.
“C’mere you!” he grumbles and pulls Jeongin closer to place a kiss on his cheek, almost unbearably close to Jeongin’s lips. Jeongin’s breath hitches and warmth spreads through his veins, the kiss almost doing better at lifting Jeongin’s spirits than Felix’s brownies.
Felix beams at Jeongin, wiping out any traces of Jeongin’s bad mood that were left. It seems like Felix has become a little more confident and comfortable with giving Jeongin kisses, having evolved from kissing Jeongin in a surge of confidence and positive emotions and apologizing after, to giving Jeongin a sneaky kiss when he thinks Jeongin is sleeping, to just unapologetically doing it because he finds Jeongin cute and he wants to give Jeongin a kiss. Jeongin can’t say that he’s mad at it at all. In fact, it’s what Jeongin wants too, and he is very glad that he doesn’t have to say it out loud (yet, at least). And either Felix noticed that Jeongin wanted Felix to kiss him more often and he is indulging Jeongin in that want, and/or he noticed that Jeongin is okay with the kisses and he does it more often because he wants to do that too.
Jeongin hopes that it’s the second option, because that would mean that Felix feels something similar to what Jeongin is feeling, but it could also be that Felix just likes platonically kissing people like Jisung does. The thought of Felix only liking it in a platonic way kind of bums Jeongin out, and that’s when he realizes the extent of his own feelings. Oh my gosh, I like Felix in a romantic way. His heartbeat speeds up and his hands get clammy at the realization, both in nervousness and in excitement. He realizes that he doesn’t only like it a whole lot when Felix kisses him, but that he also wants to kiss Felix back, on his freckled cheeks, on his nose, and especially on his lips. On those plump and soft lips of Felix. Jeongin thinks that they would feel amazing on his own lips, even better than they feel on his cheeks.
“What are you thinking about, Innie?” Felix chuckles, pulling Jeongin out of his thoughts and causing him to squeak in surprise. “Were you that distracted thinking about my tasty brownies? You were staring into nothingness looking so lovestruck.”
Jeongin coughs in embarrassment and rubs his neck as he gives a noncommittal grunt as an answer. Your brownies aren’t the only thing I’m in love with, though, he thinks, but his throat closes up in nerves. He can’t say it yet, he still needs to process all the overwhelming feelings before he can even begin to gather the courage to confess to his friend. Maybe another kiss from Felix would help him become more confident. Or, knowing himself, it could end up in Jeongin blurting his feelings out or even recklessly kissing Felix back. He hopes that he can bring it better, though, Felix deserves a nice confession.
—
Jeongin has been wracking his brain to come up with something sweet or romantic to confess to Felix, but he always just ends up thinking about kisses. Felix kissing him, him kissing Felix, brushes of lips as they’re snuggling, just kisses in hundreds of different circumstances, but he can’t just straight up say that he wants Felix to kiss him. Felix might not even understand what Jeongin means by that and he’ll just kiss Jeongin on the cheek and then Jeongin won’t have the courage to clarify. (Yes, Jeongin has gone over every scenario imaginable in his mind already.)
Right now Jeongin has had another horrible singing class, he made even more mistakes than last time and his teacher gave him a good scolding. Jeongin had to hold back his embarrassed and frustrated tears in order to not burst into a crying fit in front of his teacher. He knows that his teacher means well, but he can bring it a little kinder. It’s not even the fact that he has been distracted by Felix lately, the only compliment his teacher gave him was about Jeongin conveying the emotions of a love song well, and that was because he was thinking about Felix. It’s frustrating that he doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong, and his teacher told him to practice more, but whenever Jeongin does that he just ruins his voice, which increases the probability of his voice cracking while he sings.
Jeongin slams the dorm door behind him and kicks off his shoes angrily, tears prickling in his eyes as he thinks back to last week when he was awaited with Felix’s delicious brownies, but it seems like luck is against Jeongin today because as he enters the living room there is no smell of Felix’s sweets nor any sight of Felix greeting him happily. Jeongin groans as he storms of to his room and lets himself fall facedown on his bed, softly sniffling into his pillow, frustrated with everything.
It seems like his friends are all out, otherwise they would have come to check why Jeongin slammed the door, and on one hand Jeongin is glad for that, it would be embarrassing if they saw or heard him like this, but on the other hand his friends always know how to cheer him up whenever he’s feeling sad, frustrated, or insecure.
He doesn’t know for how long he lies on his bed like that, barely even crying as he feels too frustrated, but he hears the front door a few times, signaling that his friends are coming back one by one. Jeongin doesn’t want to go greet them, not feeling like explaining his distressed state, but he also wants to go hug one of his friends to relieve his stress. He sits up on his bed, contemplating his choices until suddenly someone knocks on his door and Jeongin freezes, unconsciously holding his breath. The door slowly opens and Felix’s head appears.
"Hey, Innie! Do you wanna—" Felix stops and gasps as he enters the room and frowns worriedly, probably seeing Jeongin’s puffy eyes. "Wait— what's wrong? Are you okay?"
Jeongin bites his lip and shrugs, looking away. "Yeah, just—" He bites back a sob. Damnit, why am I overreacting like this? "Just had— a sucky vocal lesson—" His voice ends up breaking anyway and he hides his face in his hands as he starts crying.
"Oh, Innie, come here," Felix sounds and not much later Jeongin feels Felix's arms wrap around his shocking shoulders, a soothing hand rubbing over his arm. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Jeongin sniffles and breathes out shakily, slowly removing his hands from his face. "It's just— I feel like I'm not improving my singing, and— and my teacher tells me that I have to do better too— and I just— don't know what to do."
Felix hums in compassion as he brushes a few strands of hair out of Jeongin’s face.
"That sucks," he says and Jeongin snorts sadly. "But you know what? Bad days exist, bad weeks exist. I know all too well how much it sucks to feel like you're not improving, like you're not enough, but bad moments are all part of it, otherwise there would be no good moments to celebrate, right?"
Jeongin nods, still sniffling and breathing unevenly, but he slowly but surely calms down a little. Felix is right, and Jeongin knows it, but it's always nice to hear it from someone, and it's even nicer to be enveloped in Felix's warm arms and feel his hand on his face or in his hair.
"And if it helps, in my eyes your singing is beautiful," Felix continues, his hand falling from Jeongin’s hair to his cheek, fingers brushing over his damp skin in a comforting motion. "You work incredibly hard, you do your best, and you can convey songs' emotions so well. That is all that matters."
Jeongin smiles tentatively, feeling a tiny bit better because of Felix's words and his hand caressing his cheek. He sighs and leans into Felix's gentle touch, letting himself enjoy Felix’s affection.
"Thank you, Lixie."
Felix smiles back and warmly hugs him again, squeezing some of the worries out of Jeongin’s body. It’s nice.
"Is there anything else that I can do to help?" he asks softly, his breath tickling Jeongin’s ear before he pulls back a little and wipes away the remaining dampness on Jeongin’s cheeks with his thumb.
"Uhm…" Jeongin trails off. You can give me a kiss, he thinks, but he doesn't know if he has the courage to ask Felix to do that, he isn't feeling particularly confident right now, and he already feels very supported and loved by Felix.
"I can also just shower you with compliments," Felix chuckles when Jeongin doesn't say anything. Jeongin nods, his smile growing a little more genuine as he thinks about how his friend is just the sweetest.
Felix lifts his other hand to cup Jeongin’s jaw too before his expression softens, becoming fond as he starts talking about what he likes about Jeongin. Jeongin gets redder and redder as Felix showers him with compliments, telling him how cute and sweet he is, how funny he is, how he brightens up everyone's days, and so on, but he would be lying if he said that it doesn’t make him feel better.
"You deserve all the best, Innie. All the love," Felix says earnestly, the most loving expression that Jeongin has ever seen decorating his face, making Jeongin’s stomach do a double flip. Felix’s eyes sparkle as if the constellations dotting his cheeks have found their way to his eyes, and Jeongin falls into the depths of them. He is so captivated that he barely notices how Felix pulls him closer, hands on Jeongin’s warm cheeks, until he feels Felix's soft lips on his cheek, and then on his other cheek.
"Is this okay, Innie?" Felix asks softly, breath fanning on Jeongin’s warm skin, and it feels so intimate.
"Yeah, it—it's nice," Jeongin admits shyly, feeling a bit overwhelmed with the amount of love he is receiving from his friend. Felix decides to simultaneously add to it and soothe the overwhelming feeling with another kiss on his nose, and then on his forehead, Jeongin’s smile growing wider with every kiss.
Felix keeps on placing kisses all over his face, well, except for on his lips (unfortunately), but eventually it starts to tickle, so Jeongin gently pushes Felix back with a giggle. His face is probably completely red, but he feels a hundred times better than before, which he gratefully voices.
"I'm glad." Felix's loving expression stays on his face as he removes his hands from Jeongin’s cheeks and Jeongin immediately misses them. "Besides seeing you happier, I also got some enjoyment out of it, so thank you as well, Innie."
Jeongin chuckles and shrugs, feeling good enough to joke around a bit. "You already get happy from just looking at me."
Felix barks out a laugh and grips Jeongin’s biceps to shake him, mumbling something about Jeongin being cute.
“You’re not wrong, though,” he sighs after he’s done shaking Jeongin, and his expression is almost too much for Jeongin to handle. He needs to free these overwhelmingly loving feelings somehow , so he hugs Felix properly now, almost climbing on top of his lap as he hides his face in the crook of Felix’s neck.
“Thank you again, Lixie,” he breathes, squeezing his friend tight. “You’re the best.”
“As I said, you deserve the best,” Felix grins as he massages Jeongin’s arms, humming in delight from being hugged by Jeongin.
Jeongin snickers at how obviously Felix likes receiving affection from him, and maybe that is why Jeongin does it for him more often than for his other friends, because he loves seeing Felix so happy. He hopes that Felix will have such a positive reaction when Jeongin finally manages to gather the courage to confess, too.
—
The next day, Jeongin also tells Seungmin about what happened and how he feels a little insecure about his vocal skills. Seungmin, as always, offers him great advice, and he seems to see right through Jeongin regarding his feelings for Felix, but fortunately he doesn’t mention it and instead offers to practice singing together.
Jeongin takes him up on the offer and they have fun with that while Seungmin also gives him helpful tips to improve without being as insistent and blunt as his teacher. It’s nice, and Jeongin barely notices Felix returning home and fondly watching the two of them sing. Only when Felix excitedly starts clapping when they finish singing, Jeongin jolts in surprise and realizes that Felix had been watching them.
“That was so good!” he praises. “I always love hearing you two sing.”
Seungmin and Jeongin smile and thank Felix for the compliment, Jeongin already feeling a blush creep up his neck even though Felix has watched him sing many times. Felix asks if they’ll sing more, and they decide to sing one more song before Seungmin has to go to his own vocal practice. Felix is an all too happy audience and Jeongin feels a little shy to sing for him when he’s looking at them (and especially at Jeongin) with that anticipating and dreamy expression. Jeongin’s voice cracks one time, but Felix’s sweet and light chuckle along with the encouraging look he gives him makes Jeongin not be too sad about it and just continue as if nothing happened for once. Felix cheers for them when they’re done and hugs Seungmin goodbye, wishing him luck with his vocal lesson before he plops down next to Jeongin on the couch and looks at him with a big grin.
“I really love your voice, Innie,” he says, causing Jeongin to blush a little. Felix really makes him feel so much, always causing a storm of butterflies to erupt in his stomach. “Did you enjoy it too? Did you think you did well?”
Jeongin shrugs and his eyes flit between Felix and elsewhere. “I had fun, yeah. I love singing, and Seungmin gave me some good tips, so I’m feeling a bit better about my abilities again.”
Felix’s smile widens and he falls forward to envelop Jeongin in a big hug.
“As you should! You’re an amazing singer.” He pulls back and cups Jeongin’s jaw with his small and soft hand, his expression so tender that Jeongin feels like melting. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Lixie…” Jeongin sighs, his cheeks feel like they’re on fire and he looks away to try to calm his frantically beating heart. He might really burst like this.
“Hmm?” Felix hums, his freckled cheeks bunched up in a sweet smile. He gently nudges Jeongin’s jaw so that he properly looks at Felix's glimmering eyes as he gently whispers, "I'm serious. I'm proud of you, Innie."
Felix moves closer and Jeongin gulps, finding himself completely entranced by the boy in front of him. Jeongin hovers closer too, gravitating towards Felix's strong pull, and Felix's plump lips find the side of Jeongin’s mouth, placing a soft, slow, and lingering kiss there, teetering on the edge of being a real kiss. Jeongin’s brain short-circuits, completely in Felix's grasp, so when Felix pulls back, all Jeongin can do is chase him and kiss him for real, finally feeling Felix's soft lips on his own.
Felix gasps, but doesn't push Jeongin away, his small fingers only twitch on Jeongin’s jaw as he melts into the kiss and reciprocates it. Jeongin gets lost in the feeling of Felix’s lips lovingly moving over his own until they have to part to breathe, which is when Jeongin’s brain clears up enough to realize what he just did.
“Oh my gosh— I’m sorry—” he breathes as he moves back but he’s cut off by Felix surging forward to kiss him again. Jeongin almost falls back due to the force with which Felix kisses him, but he manages to stabilize himself as Felix’s hand joins the other in cupping Jeongin’s jaw.
He sighs into the kiss, returning it with as much passion as Felix is kissing him with. Felix climbs onto his lap in order to more comfortably kiss him and Jeongin’s hands find Felix’s hips as Felix’s finger thread through the short hairs on the back of Jeongin’s neck, sending shivers down his spine. It’s even better than Jeongin’s imagination, the way Felix tilts his head and his pillowy lips kiss him almost feverishly, the way his breath hitches when Jeongin squeezes his waist, and the way his small fingers find Jeongin’s chin and coax him to part his lips so he can deepen the kiss. The warmth the deepened kiss brings with it almost too much for Jeongin to handle, his fingers and body twitching due to the overwhelming emotions, so after a few more breathy smacks of their lips, he reluctantly pulls back.
“Wow,” he eloquently pants, making Felix smile widely.
“Wow indeed,” Felix agrees with a sigh, brushing his thumb over Jeongin’s cheek as his smile falls a little. “I— uhm, I didn’t go too far? With that kiss?”
Jeongin shakes his head, unconsciously pulling Felix a little closer by his hips, he just loves having Felix close to him.
“No, not at all— I mean, I kissed you first…” His hot cheeks flush even more as he watches Felix nervously, feeling embarrassed now that his brain has cleared up the lovestruck fog a bit.
“And I loved that so much that I kissed you back,” Felix chuckles, mindlessly drumming his fingers on Jeongin’s jaw, and Jeongin smiles bashfully. It looks like Felix feels less embarrassed about it than Jeongin does, but Jeongin thinks he can spot the slightly nervous glint in his eyes.
A brief silence falls then, the air a little heavy as Jeongin wonders if he should properly confess or if the kiss was enough to convey what he feels. He doesn’t dare to assume that Felix feels the same for him, though, he always finds a way to doubt everything, he always finds a possible reason plausible enough for his brain to latch onto and make himself insecure, so he forces himself to say something for once.
“I… I like you, Lixie— as in, romantically,” he stutters, glad that he even got it out of his throat without succumbing to embarrassment. He’s not able to hold Felix’s gaze as he continues. “I— I like it when you kiss me, and— I have been wanting to kiss you back for a while.”
Felix whimpers and Jeongin looks back again to see him looking touched.
“I’m so glad that you did kiss me,” he says as he massages Jeongin’s shoulders a little, a pink blush dusting his freckled cheeks. “I like kissing you— I like kissing people in general, but that’s usually platonic, but with you… I like you too, romantically.”
Jeongin lets out a breath of relief and he smiles from ear to ear, pure happiness filling his chest. He squeezes some of that happiness out in a hug, tucking his face in the warm crook of Felix’s neck, and breathing in his comforting scent. Felix cards his small hand through Jeongin’s hair, and Jeongin feels like he can fall asleep like this, feeling this comfortable, happy, satisfied, giddy, and many other positive emotions.
Felix sneaks a kiss behind Jeongin’s ear and it tickles a little, but it also feels nice, as all Felix’s kisses do. Then he places a kiss on the shell of Jeongin’s ear, then on the side of his head, and then behind his ear again, making Jeongin giggle and pull back. Felix grins cheekily and Jeongin can’t hold back a smile of his own as he rolls his eyes and he lets Felix smother his face in kisses. He squeals and pulls up his shoulders every time Felix kisses a ticklish spot, but he lets him go wild until Jeongin really feels like his skin is saturated with kisses and it starts to feel a bit uncomfortable. He gently pushes Felix away and is glad to see that he isn’t disappointed that he has to stop, he’s probably already happy that he got to give that many kisses, Jeongin is too.
“Do you want to return the favor, Innie?” Felix asks, presenting his cheek, and what can Jeongin do if not take him up on his offer?
He removes his hands from Felix’s hips and brings them up to his face to tilt Felix’s head and place kisses all over the soft skin of his face. On his cute button nose, on his freckled cheeks, on his eyelids above his long lashes, all the while giggling out of giddiness. Felix obviously enjoys it, humming happily, but Jeongin gets a little impatient and ends up giving in to his desires, kissing Felix on the lips again.
He feels like he will never get enough of kissing Felix, he already feels addicted to the warm and tingly feeling it gives him, to hearing the little sounds Felix makes, to feeling Felix’s body against his own, and to the way Felix steals his breath away with his kisses. Their kiss is softer than the previous one, not desperate anymore to get the most out of the kiss because they now know if it won’t be the last one.
They kiss until their lips are red and swollen and they’re panting, breathless because of each other. They fall back on the couch and catch each other’s gaze before bursting into giddy laughter, both finding it difficult to believe that they finally gave in to their feelings and confessed like this, kissed like this. Jeongin would very much like it if they could kiss as much as they did today from now on too, but before he can say anything, the front door opens and Minho enters the living room.
He stops in his tracks and squints at Jeongin and Felix on the couch, probably assessing the mood that is hanging in the air. He then steps closer and his eyes rake over Jeongin’s and Felix’s faces, analyzing them.
“Did you guys have another tickle fight?— no, that’s not quite it…” Minho mumbles to himself, and Jeongin snickers, patiently waiting for Minho to see if he can figure it out. “Oh! Did Jeongin resist Felix’s hugs and kisses?— Wait!” He cuts himself off with a gasp when Jeongin can’t hold back a smile and soft giggle. “Or did he accept them? And Felix went wild?”
Jeongin and Felix both nod, a blush creeping up Jeongin’s neck as Minho’s eyes widen and an impressed expression forms on his face.
“Nice,” he just says, and Jeongin snorts. “So… you two are together now?”
Jeongin shares a hopeful look with Felix, who crawls a little closer and asks him if he would like that, if he would like to be together . Jeongin eagerly nods and Felix beams at him, quickly planting a big smooch on his cheek before answering Minho’s question.
“Nice,” their friend comments again. “So I know it sooner than Seungmin? Even nicer!”
He cackles and heads off to his room, leaving Jeongin and Felix alone again. Jeongin turns to Felix again and is met with a sweet and anticipating smile.
“Does this mean that I can kiss you more often?” he asks, innocently blinking at Jeongin.
Jeongin chuckles and contemplates teasing Felix a little, just because he’s so cute, but he decides against it eventually, he already told Felix that he likes it when he kisses him, so it’s probably of no use.
“I guess you can,” Jeongin shrugs, failing to seem casual as his grin gives him away. Oh, frick it. I want him to kiss me more often, I can tell him that. His grin turns more bashfull as he looks into Felix’s eyes. “I would like that very much, actually.”
Felix squeals in happiness and hugs Jeongin tightly, looking at him with a fond look. “And will you kiss me back?”
“Every time,” he answers and pecks Felix’s lips. “And maybe even more.”
His friend— and boyfriend, now— grins and nuzzles his nose against Jeongin’s before he kisses it. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Jeongin snickers and briefly presses his lips against Felix’s again (he really can’t get enough of kissing him), before he whispers, “Me too.”
The end.