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“Well if we're going to die at least we won't be alone”, the younger sighs petting the small creature crying in his arms and at this point he feels like crying too, he has lost count of the hours by now it could had been one or eight, to be honest he feels like he has been in that damn hole for days, he’s hurt, his knee is bleeding and he’s not confident about moving his elbow, not sure of what he’s scared the most if to feel the pain again or confirm his suspicious that it’s indeed broken. He´s cold because he’s wearing shorts and a simple tank top, an outfit appropriate for running outside during the day but not to sleep in the middle of nowhere in the open, he’s hungry because he has already missed at least the breakfast and the lunch time and probably dinner too and for fuck sake he just wants to scream and cry and complain because all of this must be a fucking joke but he can’t because his throat feels raw enough due to of all the hours screaming trying to get some help.
So how the hell Taeyang ended in a situation like this, well some can blame his naïve nature or his good hearth he’s sure tho it’s just his bad luck. He was running like he had been doing for the last months. This day he chose a different path, a solitaire one in the woods no too deep that it will take him hours to go back to the town but deep enough he could spend a nice time alone putting in order his ideas and thoughts and boy he needed all the space and time to do that in this day in particular, so yeah just running a very harmless activity, suddenly the sound of painful and sad meows called his attention, and even though there was this voice, that sounded a lot like his mom, inside his head telling him he shouldn’t stray away from the regular path but alas he couldn’t stand hearing those screams for help. He regretted not taking his phone with him immediately, but he had promised the jogging time would be one where he can disconnect of everything and everyone, so he had the self-imposed rule to no bring it with him.
Anyways his hearth swelled of pain and sadness and hatred when he found the source of the crying. A small kitty probably only months old been trapped in a closed bag inside a hole where he has been obviously throw to die, the idea of someone so evil to try to hurt such a small and defenseless creature made his inside burst in fury, and on top of that some asshole stupid enough had dug that hole at least 2 meters deep and irresponsibly had left it there ready to be a potential trap for any animal and well as was proved later for Taeyang himself.
He curse because of the predicament he found himself but he couldn’t not do anything and the idea of letting the kitty there alone until he could get some help seemed heartbreaking so he looked for a piece of wood strong enough to hold his weight and jumped to the hole, the plan was simple, he would secure the kitten to his shorts’ waist with the help of his shoelaces and then would use the wood to climb out of the hole cause it wasn’t that deep and he was in a good shape, strong enough to support himself with his arms. BULLSHIT!!!! He didn’t just fail miserably because the wood broke, but he couldn’t hold himself for more than 3 seconds and he ended falling on his butt hurting himself and scaring the shit out of the small animal. He had tried climbing using just his bare hands but he ended falling again and again with broken nails and wounds in his fingers until in his last attempt he has badly injured his right elbow, he had to repeat himself many times that he is a grown up, a functional adult now and as such it wasn’t appropriate for him to cry because he has hurt himself but he wasn’t only in pain but he felt frustrated and lonely and like such loser so he had broken in tears inconsolable for a good time, when he had finally calm down enough he tried screaming for help as loud as possible but who’d say he had done such a good job choosing a secluded place to “spend time with himself”.
– SOMEONE KILL ME PLEASE – He screams as hard as he can, it’s already dark so he’s sitting resting his back on the dirt, he takes a deep breath trying to make peace with the idea he’s not getting any help until tomorrow, he’s not the only runner in that zone so it’s most probably someone could hear him the next day thus he needs to save strength to be able to scream for help. He closes his eyes trying to think about good things, positive things, happy things like Juho Hyung, his Juho hyung, a small smile grows in his face just because of the idea of him, if he would be here for sure he’d know how to get them out of this hell hole, ughhhh he misses his hyung so much.
To be sincere it’s not probably the happiest of thoughts right now since Juho is most probably still in his date with Rowoon Hyung because someone as gorgeous as him had to put his eyes on someone as Gorgeous as Rowoon hyung of course, life it’s not fair, too much perfection for a couple. He got it ok Rowoon Hyung is perfect just perfect, He’s handsome like prince charming handsome, tall, gentle, sweet, cute, smart, funny, he even cooks amazingly, the perfect boyfriend and Taeyang was well just Taeyang, It’s not like he thinks low of himself, no of course, he knows he’s good looking and probably has a good body because of all the dancing hours but It’s like Rowoon was in a total different league, a one you simple can’t compete with and on top of that Taeyang was shy, careless, a kind of a mess sometimes things that were the total opposite of Juho’s personal traits, and usually frustrate the older. When he and Juho had been introduced to Rowoon by Dawon six months ago, it was pretty obvious the instant connection the two tallest boys made and Taeyang had to conform to see from afar, like in a slow motion movie, how the boy he has loved secretly since they were teenagers fell in love with someone else and that made him want to hide himself more and more, he would find excuses to not spend time with his group of friends because it was painful to see how close those two have become in such a small time in comparison with him and Juho hyung who were close but like no close enough because Taeyang would always be just the sweet donsaeng following Juho everywhere. He knows he’s being unfair because the older has told him many times about how important he is for him, how much he appreciates having him in his life and how much he likes spending time with him, but he just can’t at least for now he can’t, he feels like an idiot and frustrated that he can’t even control his emotions now. So, he hopes that once they make it official, he can make peace with it and he can recover some sense of normality, that the idea of them together like a formal couple would make things easier to cope with somehow because currently watching them wooing each other is really painful.
In fact, he wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t overheard Dawon and Juho’s conversation; yesterday he went to visit Dawon in his workplace where he thought he’ll find some solace from his personal drama, but instead he heard how excited Juho was about the Saturday because apparently he has finally grow a pair and will confess his feelings to the love of his life, like what the fuck he has known the man for six months, six months!!!!!! how could he give him that tittle already?, the younger was mad with Juho because how could he fell in love that quick? how could he give away his heart so fast so easy?, while Taeyang has been there for so long trying to be worthy to be seen by Juho and for Rowoon has been so easy as saying hello. He wanted to turn back and run and forget they existed but he didn’t want to make things more awkward so he has taken a moment in the loo to calm down a bit and for the willing to cry to pass before he walked towards the others pretending he just arrived, when he asked what they were talking about Juho very excited had exclaim – about my shopping date with Roowon this Saturday - The younger not wanting to participate of that topic had made his best to talk about whatever other thing came to his mind and left the restaurant as fast as he could ignoring the weird looks Dawon was sending his way.
So yeah, he has been running lately because he wanted to be healthy and sporty and yadda yadda yadda and he has been running the past weeks around his block and the park nearby but knowing what could be happening later today he has chosen to explore new routes this Saturday, this fucking Saturday. Yeah, this day has been cursed for him since the beginning he should have suspected it and stay in his bed all day.
The worst part was any of his friends would probably notice him going missing that fast basically due to his very quiet nature but also because he has been more closed off lately skipping out some outings. Juho probably would have noticed in the past if he won’t show up to classes or if he won’t have lunch with him but lately, he has been too busy whispering things with Rowoon during lunch time to even notice that Taeyang has skipped some of them.
Coming back to his present predicament he released a deep sigh holding closer to his chest with one arm the little kitten who has started to shiver due to the cold night or maybe he’s the one shivering he can’t really tell, his fingers are so cold they feel like they are going to fall from his hand any moment – Thank GOD is spring I’d be death meet if it would be winter for sure – he murmurs watching the dark sky and feeling the cold night air blown his hair and of course it’s in this exact moment when he feels the first drop of rain – Are you fucking kidding me !!!!! what have I done to deserve this ???? – He screams with all his strength, all the frustration filling his body and he’s heart – I can’t die like this please GOD, I’m getting really scared now!!!! – He cries because it was already cold enough without the rain and last week, he saw a documental about people dying of hypothermia on the streets and maybe he’s just panicking but it’s not fair no it’s not – why am I being punished like this??? – Is this because I didn’t accompany Youngbin hyung to help in the elders’ house, I was busy with final exams I swear – he keeps screaming and he’s not sure if they’re tears or raindrops wetting his face at this point – Is this because I didn’t confess to mom that it was me who broke the nona’s special plate when I was 12 …. I was scared she wouldn’t allow me to go to the school trip pleaseee I’ll call her to confess now please GOD I can’t die like this pleaseeeeeeeee – He’s losing his mind and he can barely feel the kitten due to being soaked with the rain that is becoming heavier each minute even though Taeyang is trying his best to cover him using his good arm and a part of he’s tank top - Come on Loui you’re stronger I promise you I will find you a nice bed and warm and yummy food please please be strong little buddy – He begs while tightening his hold in the feline – PLEASE GOD HELP ME !!!!!! – He screams as loud as he can feeling how his throat burns more – Please someone help me, Juho hyung help me please – He bawls – Please!!!!!!
- TAEYANG??? – a deep voice calls from somewhere not too far – oh my god Taeyang is that you??? Are you ok??? – Juho’s wet face peeks over the edge on the top of the hole
- Juho hyung?? Am I hallucinating already? – His broken voice asks – Or am I dead?? … they say we can see our loved ones before dying – He cries scared to clean his teary eyes and for his Juho hyung to disappear
- OMG is that blood??? Taeyang, are you ok?? OMG OMG OMG !!!!! – before he can say another thing the older jump into the hole hurrying up to check on the younger – Baby talk to me please – He asks holding the younger boy’s face with his hands – I was so scared Tae – his fingers tenderly caress the boy’s cheeks
- I must be hallucinating – Taeyang’s says trying to smile while extending his good arm to touch Juho’s face – Hyung never called me baby – another wave of tears falls down his face – I’m glad I can see your face hyung I missed you.
- Tae Tae please focus, baby focus, it’s really me Juho hyung, you must be delirious because of the sun and now the cold – The older kiss his hand – I’ll get us help, hold on there Tae – He pulls out his phone from his pocket - Ya Dawon hyung!!!!! I found him yeah, he’s hurt I dunno, maybe when he fell, I’m scared to move him please called for help, no no I think it would be better firefighters, he fell into a big hole deeper than a person, there’s blood on his arms, his legs I dunno he’s like in shock he can’t recognize me properly I dunno please please hurry up hyung!!! – Juho’s desperate pleads for help makes Taeyang recover some conscious – listen carefully, from the point we separated I walked until the path ended and then like 40 meters to the left, I left my flashlight just in the border, yeah, I’m inside with him hurry up hyung please – Juho begs one more time ending the call
- It’s really you hyung – The younger cries throwing himself towards the older and hugging his neck with the only arm he’s able to move – Hyung Hyung I was so scared, I thought I won’t see you again – Taeyang cries harder – I thought I thought – his voice cracks and his throat burns making him whine harder
- Shhhh Tae shhhhh it’s ok you’re safe now, help is coming, just hold on there a bit more ok – Juho says taking off his shirt to try to clean a bit of Taeyang’s face, he tries to move Taeyang’s other arm slowly because it’s bend awkwardly on his lap kind of hiding something tangled with his shirt – let me take a look baby please – Juho tries to coax the younger to move a bit his arm that it’s clearly hurt but he doesn’t allow it – It hurts hyung !!!!- He cries – I think is broken
- Juho does his best to stay calm – ok ok baby but let’s move this a little to make it more comfortable – he tries again so he can untangle his shirt, but the younger back off denying with his head – no hyung no you’re going to hurt him and scared him more Pls – Taeyang pleads trying to hide the bundle of fabric Juho can notice now – He’s too scared
- Come on Tae let me help, you know I won’t hurt you please show me – he carefully lifts Taeyang’s chin so they can make eye contact – Taeyang you know hyung is really worried I just want to help I’ve been searching for hours scared to death that something bad could have happened to you
The younger bites his lips apprehensive – I’m scared
- Of what?
- That he’s dead – He whisper barely holding his tears
- Who is dead??
– Loui - The older looks around the hole like trying to find someone else, was there someone else? Was someone with Tae when he fell?? – Tae you need to be clearer I’m getting scared please – He says caressing his cheek and giving him a soft kiss in the forehead – Come on Tae let me see
Slowly the younger removes his shirt with the help of his good hand and move his other hand trying to avoid moving his elbow, He closes his eyes because he’s too scared to see, he feared the worst when the feline stop meowing a time ago.
- Oh no it’s a baby cat – The older exclaims reaching to lift him – Hey come on baby wake up, are you ok??? He asks caressing slowly the animal’s head – Come on baby!!! – Then a small and weak meow is heard – he’s ok Tae he’s probably too scared to move – and Juho’s beautiful smile almost blinds Taeyang
The younger starts laughing while tears still roll down his face
- What?? – Juho asks looking directly towards Taeyang’s eyes while still caressing the kitten
- I always wished for you to call me lovely names – he chuckles – just when I thought all this horrendous day was worthy, I realized you has been treating me like a wounded cat – a sad smile appears in his face – It’s ok tho I know how much you love cats – he rests his head releasing a long deep sigh
- what??? Tae no, I mean wait – Juho tries to explain but he’s confused what he meant, His head is a mess he’s tired he has been walking looking for the younger for hours now and the adrenalin of finding Taeyang has passed so everything is catching up with him – Tae I – when he finally tries to say something more, screams and flashlights coming closer indicates them that the help is here.
- Thank you hyung for finding me I really thought …. I was really scared – Taeyang says before they heard Youngbin’s voice
- The help is here, just a little bit more Taeyang!!!!!
After that everything happened really fast, he had to be put in a rescue stretcher and lift with the help of a small crane he felt really dizzy and his arm was starting to swell so they gave him some medicine to relieve his pain which cause him to be barely conscious during the journey to the hospital. Taeyang has hold onto Loui during all that time and only entrusted him to Hwiyoung because the hospital didn’t allow the cat inside.
He had spent 17 hours trapped in that hole, fortunately his elbow was only sprained, but he’ll have to use a cast for three weeks, he got 12 stiches in the cuts he got around his knees and multiple minor wounds in his legs, arms and specially his fingers, all of them will probably complicate his dancing classes, still was a lot better than a broken bone. The doctors ordered that he’ll stay in the hospital for 2 days due to risk of dehydration and hypothermia, at the end of the day his Aventura hadn’t been that simple.
He feels like crying and with his heart full seeing all his friends there accompanying him. It has been hella scary but he feels silly now for all those stupid thoughts that had plague his mind during those hours alone in the dark, of course they care, of course they noticed him missing, of course Hwi noticed when he didn’t attend his morning classes which make him share his concern with Dawon who noticed Taeyang didn’t visit him during his working hours just to say hello as usually, so he told Chani and Youngbin who also noticed Taeyang hadn’t come to see them dancing during the little minutes before their class ended and his started, they had told Rowoon and Juho, who noticed Taeyang didn´t came to their lunch hour so Juho had gone to check all of his classes because he knows his schedule as if it were his own. So, when Inseong and Jaeyoon noticed Taeyang didn’t attend their musical theater taller they have called Juho immediately who by this point was freaking out because he has checked with all Taeyang’s friends and classes.
After getting tired of only reaching the mail voice each time he called him, Juho has gone to check on his room where his roommate a freshman called also Taeyang who everybody calls Theo has let him into Taeyang’s (his Taeyang’s) room where he has found his phone and his wallet which made him get more scared. Also, Theo informed him that even though he wasn’t 100% sure It was most probably Taeyang had gone for his morning run something he has been doing lately and hadn’t comeback and that’s how all his group of friends with the help of Theo’s freshman friends organized themselves to look for Taeyang in the zone where usually students run because police have told them they could only order an official search after 24 hours.
An hour after he got checked by a doctor, the nurse in charge of Taeyang adverts everyone that they need to leave because It’s not visiting hours and they have been left inside due to the nature of Taeyang’s accident, but they all need to leave asap. Taeyang takes a deep breath he’s scared, and he doesn’t want to be left alone because every time he closes his eyes, he found himself trapped inside that hole again. He would want to ask Hwiyoung, his closest friend after Juho, to stay with him but he left with Loui because someone had to take care of him. He wants to ask Youngbin but the older looks tired enough and he has a big performance the next day, of course he wishes he could ask Juho but he doesn’t want to importune him more, he’s tired, wet, dirty and probably the most tired of all of them. And it’s clear there’s something going on between him and Rowoon, Taeyang has noticed them having a very heated whispered argument at one point while Taeyang was being pampered for the other boys. It was clear Taeyang going missing has ruined their plans and even though Rowoon has looked as worry as the others when he first saw the taller, he had a look of frustration that he hasn’t been able to hide during his stance here. Since Juho and him are so close all the time it was most probably he knows already or at least suspected what were Juho’s intentions for his date today so Taeyang going missing must have ruined those plans, what a pain in the ass.
So Taeyang bit his inner cheek and put his best face and smile when one by one the boys say their goodbyes wishing him a fast recovery and petting his head. Juho of course is the last one.
- I need shower and new clothes - it’s what he says as a farewell – Just rest ok – he says while placing a small kiss in the younger’s head – I’ll see you soon – He was about to stand up to leave the room but instead take a deep breath - You really scared me Tae
The older gives him a look so tender Taeyang really feels like crying and demanding “why can’t you love me” but he keeps biting his inner cheek and forces himself to pass the lump in his throat - I’m sorry hyung – he does his best to hold his tears - It wasn’t my intention to ruin your day
- Ya!!!! Yoo Taeyang don’t be stupid – He makes a gesture to hit him in the head but instead he softly caresses his face and bends to kiss his forehead again but this time the kiss takes a little more time and lingers there for some seconds to finally separate himself after taking a long breath – I was freaking panicking thinking something could happened to you Tae, I’m …. I’m just .. God – the older rubs his face a couple of times – I’m just glad you’re ok now – a shy smile grows in his mouth - I … will be back soon, ok?
Taeyang wakes up to the sound of Loui crying and scratching his arms – what Loui?? Hwi brought you back?? – where’s is he? Where’s everyone??? – he looks around, but everything is too dark to recognize anything he feels his breathing accelerating and his body starts to shake – what’s going on?? Where?? – He wanted to reach something to ask for help but he realize he’s sitting on the floor, he touch it and feels the dirt – No no no this can’t be no no no please GOD no no no – a flood of tears cover his face completely and he tries to stand up but his head hurts too much and he can’t move his arms He raises his head to look up but he can barely see, everything is too dark but there’s small bright coming from the top of where he is – OMG NO NO I WAS WITH THE BOYS I WAS AT THE HOSPITAL PLEASEEEE THIS CAN’T BE – He chokes - JUHO HYUNG COMEBACK AND FIND ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE – He feels like he’s hyperventilating his heart is beating so fast in his chest that he feels he’s going to have a heart attack any minute, he’s shaking so much
- Tae … Hey baby … Tae you’re safe – The younger hears Juho’s voice from afar – come on honey you’re safe I promise, open your beautiful eyes for me pls
His eyes snapped open and it feels like he has been thrown from a very tall building he’s shaking and it’s like no enough air is reaching his lungs and he can’t quite wrap up his head around what’s going on but the sight of Juho’s worried eyes looking directly at him it’s the only thing making his fuzzy brain to focus – That’s it baby that’s it, now, could you breathe for me please? …… breathe please, you’re safe, I promise
- HYUNG OMG HYUNG !!!!! you’re here – the boy cries fisting the older’s shirt with all his strength like he’s scared the other one is going to disappear anytime – Juho hyung I was back there …. alone I …. dark hyung I can’t …. I … I … I am scared this’s also a dream – he cries harder
- It’s ok …. It’s ok I promise you’re safe, calm down baby calm down – Juho says caressing Taeyang softly in his forehead, his cheeks, his nose, his hair wherever he can reach – It was just a nightmare, you’re safe
- Where’s Loui? I want to see him – He asks without releasing his fierce grip on the other’s shirt, pulling him as close as possible so much that they ended up in a tangle of legs and arms almost lying on the bed facing each other – Please hyung I want to see him
– Calm down Tae, the poor thing must be recovering from everything, Hwi told me he took him to a vet, and he said Loui was ok just needs food and proper rest – He makes the younger release his shirt and bring his hand to his mouth to place a soft kiss while drying his tears – You will see him tomorrow
- why tomorrow? if he’s ok
- Well to be more exact later, he must be sleeping now, and I don’t think nurse Choa will allow him here anyways – the older interlaces their fingers resting both hands close to his chest – you too need to rest baby; I’ll be here ok I’ll stay there on the couch you won’t be alone anymore – his free hand strokes slowly his sweaty fringe
- I don’t understand – The younger looks confused around the room noticing it’s dark outside – what time is it??
- Uhmmm around 2 am
- What?? – He frowns – wait …. but I thought it was already the next day …. I thought you left with Rowoon hyung
- No – he gives another kiss to his hand – of course not Tae how could l leave you alone after what happened – his eyes show the worry and tiredness of all the day’s events – I don’t think is humanly possible for me to get away from you today or this week – Juho chuckles caressing one of Taeyang´s cheeks
The younger release a breath he wasn’t aware was holding and finally realizes how close the two boys were laying and he can’t help mapping all the older’s face, a feeling of nostalgia floods him he thinks his Juho hyung is so beautiful.
- Thank you hyung …. for being here, for finding me for caring for me – Taeyang drops his stare feeling a bit ashamed for all the drama and trouble he has caused this day
- Hey hey look at me – Juho keeps lovely stroking his cheek – I’m just really happy you’re safe Tae – He uses both hands to hold his face really close and place another kiss in his forehead keeping his lips there
Taeyang’s heart starts beating hard and for a very different reason he can feel his hyung so so close he can feel his scent, his warm, his heartbeats, his breath, everything; he closes his eyes trying to savor the moment, but suddenly his mouth feels so dry, and his hands feel sweaty
- Hyung …. – He tries to say something even though his brain is currently short-circuiting
Maybe is the shock of what had happened earlier, maybe is the realization that Juho really cares about him, maybe is that he simple can’t keep holding his feelings anymore, shivers travel through all his body, and he can only think about the taste of the older’s lips, he’s so close that he would only need to slightly move his head to close the gap between their lips. He bites his inner cheek trying to calm down and think about them, their friendship, what could be the consequences of doing something like that, about Rowoon, about his group of friends’ dynamics but it’s like his brain can only process Juho at this moment, Juho Juho Juho, there’s only Juho in the world right now.
Fuck it! He knows he’s going to regret it, but he just can’t control himself anymore, all the happenings of the day had brought him to his limits.
So, he does it he kisses him.
Juho’s first reaction is to gasp and try to say something pushing slowly Taeyang’s chest, but the younger knows this’s his only chance to do it because after the apologies and the awkward conversations that will follow this kiss, he’s not confident he’ll have the guts or heart to face the older, so he keeps pressing his lips, keeps closing his eyes. He feels Juho’s nervous hand moving toward his arms, holding him. Taeyang presses harder trying to enjoy the last seconds of it but surprisingly Juho’s hand climbs his side and grabs him aggressively by the nape, pressing their faces more He starts deepening the kiss and Taeyang gets lost in Juho’s taste.
When they finally pull apart both are panting and trying to wrap up their heads about what just had happened, Juho rub’s his face with his hands like trying to figure it out what he should say and Taeyang doesn’t know where to hide so before he can’t even realize, tears are falling from his eyes.
- Juho hyung I’m sorry I …. I don’t know … I shouldn’t …. – He hiccups trying to stop his tears
- Hey hey It’s ok Tae calm down please, if you cry it makes me feel even worse, please – Juho creeps away creating more space between them
-I know I know hyung I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry – He tries to keep his tears at bay – don’t worry … don’t worry I won’t tell anyone I won’t tell …. I won’t tell Rowoon hyung I promise – at this point he’s panicking just saying whatever could work to not loose Juho – if you don’t want to see me for a while, I understand I promise I promise I’ll keep my distance …. I just please hyung don’t hate me please – at this point he’s a mess of tears and babbling
- Tae hey I’m not understanding calm down, please honey – Juho hugs him bring him close and feels how the younger buries his head in his neck while he keeps mumbling apologies – so he places his lips just over Taeyang’s right ear to say – Taeyang calm down please, it’s only us … you and me no one else cares no one else matters ok It’s just us. Do you understand? Just Us there’s no need to get scared about anything and there’s no way possible for me to hate you ok, you’re my Tae, ok? calm down baby so we can talk and fix whatever is bothering this much – he kisses over the younger’s ear and keeps repeating the same again and again until eventually it feels like Taeyang get the message and his breathing calms down.
- Hyung I … - Taeyang tries to talk but he can’t he’s too scared and embarrassed and this day has been too much for him
- Look at me Tae – Juho pulls him slowly so they can see each other, still Taeyang lowers his eyes to no make eye contact – Tae come on It’s just Juho hyung tell me what’s wrong? … you kissed me and then … then I kissed you back – Juho inhales slowly – If it bothers you this much no one needs to know – He closes his eyes, and a small smile grows on his face – I didn’t think I was such a bad kisser that you’d panicked like this – he jokes trying to tone down the atmosphere
- Hyung … I Just don’t want to cause you more issues – Taeyang replies keeping his head down – It’s bad enough I ruined your plans for today, your date with Rowoon hyung
- Taeyang come on it was just a shopping date we can go any other day
- Hyungggggg it’s not only the shopping part I’m talking about – He answers growing frustrated
- What do you mean? What part are you talking about?? – Juho asks trying to catch Taeyang’s eyes but the younger keeps looking at any other place but Juho.
- The part where you would have confessed, that part hyung – Taeyang says feeling already his eyes filling up with wetness again
- ohh!!! Me confessing? What? Taeyang what are we even talking about? – Juho moves his whole body to sit properly next to the younger – How would you even know that?
- please hyung I feel pathetic enough don’t make me keep talking about it – Taeyang replies feeling the tears falling already so he tries to sit too and moves his hand to cover his face – please hyung let’s just forget about today
- Taeyang be careful you can’t move your elbow – Juho reprimands him and helps him to sit properly supporting his back in the head of the bed and he takes a deep breath – If that’s what you want, It’s ok, no one needs to know about today – Juho scratches his head - I just didn’t think you’ll react like this – He sounds disappointed – and I don’t even understand what’s up with Rowoon? Why can’t he specially know about it – Do you … perhaps like him? – He sounds scared and Taeyang wants to laugh and cry because everything is a big mess
- Hyung don’t be so dense – Taeyang complains, his Juho hyung always always find a way to make him feel so much – Because Rowoon would get mad with me if he learns I kissed you, I didn’t just ruin your date I KISSED YOU hyung, and he will know about my feelings for you and when you two will eventually get together he won’t like having me around you and that would be totally understandable – he finally confesses defeated
- wait wait wait wait a second!!! You kissed me!
- OMG Hyungggg – Taeyang starts to get pissed – there’s no need to keep repeating it what’s important here …
- Shut up Taeyang – Juho looks frantic – You kissed me first because you have feelings … feeling for me – he says pointing at himself
- Hyung please – Taeyang groans and at this point there’re no more tears and he’s getting more and more frustrated, He swears only Juho has the capacity to have him on a roller coaster of feelings always since they were teenagers.
- You can call me all you want later but tell me first if I get this right – Juho rubs his face with both his hands in a very dramatical way – You kissed me because you have feeling for me, You Taeyang has feelings for me Juho
- JUHO I swear …
- Taeyang just answer my fucking question
- ughhhh yes hyung I have feelings for you … there … are you happy now? want me to embarr … - before he can finish what he was saying Juho stamps his lips against Taeyang’s
Taeyang is shocked with his eyes wide open, he gets petrified for a second, but it feels like hours. He tries to say something, but Juho just shuts him up kissing him even harder, Juho has almost climbed all over Taeyang kneeling between his legs and trying to hold himself up, so he won’t squash Taeyang’s wounds and all about this situation is insane but when Taeyang feels Juho’s tongue sliding slowly into his mouth and caressing his he forgets about anything else, in the world right now only exist the two of them.
When they eventually pull apart because they need to breath both stare at each other panting louder, Taeyang feels his whole-body vibrating and he has never been kissed like this before, it’s not like he has a lot of experience, but he has had a boyfriend and a couple of flings before, the usual for a university student, but no one can compare to the way Juho has kissed him just now, like he’s running out of time, desperately, hungrily, unrelenting like he wanted to devour the younger, Taeyang’s mind has gone all dizzy, his toes have curl into the mattress and his heart is frantically beaten, Taeyang is gripping Juho’s arm so hard, scared to pass out because of this warm feeling bubbling up inside him.
- Hyung? What … – he says looking for a sign in Juho’s face
- I love you – the older blurts out before Taeyang can finish asking – I love you Taeyang
- you what? – The younger feels like this’s all a crazy dream – hyung don’t … you can’t ... – he doesn’t know how to articulate his words
- I do love you Tae – Juho inhales shakily – I’ve been in love with you for a very long time
- What what about … what about Rowoon hyung?? – Taeyang argues – You don’t love me hyung
- What does Rowoon have to do with any of this?? Why you keep mentioning him? - Juho asks holding Taeyang’s hand to interlace his fingers – I love you and you just confessed you have feeling for me – he smiles shyly
- Because everyone knows you’re in love with Rowoon hyung
- No, everyone knows I’m in love with you – Juho replies immediately starting to blush
- No, no no you have a date with Rowoon today and you planned to confess to him, I heard you talking with Dawon hyung – Taeyang blurts out
- No, I had a shopping date with him because he said, and I repeat “you need to clean up nice so Taeyang will say yes to your sorry ass” – he chuckles – I was going to confess to you actually – and now Juho is totally blushing – during our trip to the feria this Sunday, OMG you forgot about it, right?
- What?? – Taeyang is totally lost he has totally forgot about their trip to the Christmas feria, something both have been doing for at least the last 5 years – no no this can’t be you’re not in love with me
Juho giggles – why you keep fighting me on this Tae? – he raises an eyebrow
- No no it’s just … what about today? You two kept whispering things to each other like you were arguing about something
- He said I still should confess to you even though you will spend the Sunday in the hospital – he tells scratching his nape – He thinks I shouldn’t waste more time, but I wasn’t sure it was a good moment actually
- But what about …
- Ya Taeyang you’re so stupid … stop arguing with me, we need to make up for all the lost time – Juho smiles proudly noting what he has done there
- Hyungggggggg – Taeyang whines when Juho closes the distance between them just to push the older almost immediately – just for the record I love you too hyung – he smiles while snaking his healthy arm through Juho’s neck - I love you a lot hyung – reconnecting the kiss between them.
They spend the night kissing, cuddling, and telling each other little stories they couldn’t share with each other before, by the time they fell asleep, with Taeyang carefully place in Juho’s arms, it’s almost dawn.
- So finally, you two idiots had come clean and admited you have feelings for each other – Chani exclaims – ughhh thank fucking god, it has been painful to witness
- language - both Rowoon and Youngbin reprimand the youngest
- But I can’t believe you really thought these two towers had something going on between them – Dawon jokes – ahgggg just the idea gives me the chills
- Can you blame him? – Youngbin mumbles
- What do you mean? – Rowoon asks looking straight to Youngbin
- that sometimes you overdo that little charade you two were having – the older replies not facing the taller – Anyways! Taeyang I’m glad you’re doing better I have to go to practice, but I’ll see you tomorrow, ok? Take care of yourself my sweet sunshine – he says placing a kiss to the younger’s forehead and leaving immediately – bye everyone. It’s heard just when he disappears in the door
- what the fuck?? – Chani asks
- Language Chani language – Rowoon says
- ya shut up Rowoon and go after him – Juho urges him
Rowoon looks around the room but is met with other six pairs of eyes nodding at him, so he stands up and quickly walks off the room
- OMG Rowoon and Youngbing hyung?? – Taeyang asks looking at Juho
– you’re really oblivious baby – Juho chuckles kissing Taeyang’s forehead – let’s say that’s why we connected so fast
- You two being idiots? - Chani chimes in smiling
- No asshole – we were motivating each other to man up and confess to Taeyang and Youngbin – he admits biting his lip
- Taeayng you know Inseong hyung and Jaeyoon hyung are fucking right? – Dawon playfully asks – so currently sucks to be me – he ends complaining
- Ya we told you we’re up for a trifecta – Inseong winks laughing hard
- Oh god I really had no idea I though Hwiyoung and Chani were the only couple
- No no we, even being the youngest are the only ones with our shit together – Chani smiles interlacing his hand with Hwiyoung’s – we got together as soon as we knew we have feelings for each other, I swear, you old people are so dramatic sometimes
- Ya don’t be meanie, I’m still a patient - Taeyang complains cuddling more into Juho’s arms making everyone laugh
Sixth months later
Taeyang opens his eyes, and he can feel already the fear creeping up his body, his breathing is fastening, and his legs and arms hurt badly, Loui is shaking so hard in his lap. He puts his left hand on the ground to try to stand up but a strong pain in his elbow stops him – Calm down Taeyang It’s going to be ok – he talks to himself trying to fight the sense of panic filling his body.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath – Juho hyung is going to find me any minute, it’s going to be ok Loui I promise, lets stay calm and wait for hyung – He says petting the kitten – he’s coming I know that
- Tae?? – He feels a hand shaking softly his shoulder – baby
- Hyung!!!! You’re here – Taeyang declares smiling
- Of course, I’m always here
Taeyang wakes up and tries to control his breathing. He looks around his room just to confirms it was another nightmare
- Baby are you ok? – he feels an arm snaking from behind around his waist and pulling him closer to a chest, a warm chest he’s very familiar with – a nightmare again?
- Yeah
- Did I find you?
- As every time – he smiles turning around to face the older – I know you’ll find me every time hyung – he raises his hand to hold the older’s face to deposit a soft kiss on his lips
- Always baby always – Juho smiles kissing him back – I love you
- I love you too – The younger replies closing his eyes and burying his face on the other’s neck, ready to go back to sleep in the warm of Juho’s arms.
The end 🖤