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“You can’t be serious?” Amanda all but shouts. “But Chief, it’s Halloween this weekend.”
“Which is precisely why you’re all going undercover. The mayor’s wife wants us to take a closer look at universities covering up their on campus rapes and a party weekend is as good as time as any to get an idea of what’s going on. I believe the kids are calling it ‘Halloweekend.’”
Sonny tries his best to hold in a laugh at Chief Dodd’s exaggerated pronunciation as he picks up one of the files in front of him.
“Who are we supposed to be pretending to be? Because no offense, ain’t none of us passing for no college students,” Fin remarks with a snort. “Well, maybe Rollins could if we put her in sunglasses and threw her in a frat house two hours after doors open.”
Before Dodd’s has a chance to reply, Amanda snatches the file out of Sonny’s hand. “Campus police? Really?”
“You can’t be serious,” Olivia groans uncharacteristically.
“Hey, this is coming from the mayor’s office, not me.” Dodds, throwing his hands in mock surrender, stands and walks down the hall with his usual bureaucratic swagger. “Keep me apprised, won’t ya, Lieutenant,” he adds before disappearing around the corner, the sound of the elevator dinging seconds later.
“Yeah, but ain’t no doubt he’s goin’ to take the credit if we do end up findin’ somethin’,” Amanda mumbles, her southern accent more pronounced in her agitation. She grabs her phone out of her desk drawer and begins frantically scrolling through her contacts, stopping every so often to tap out a quick message.
“Didn’t take you to be such a Halloween fan, Rollins,” Sonny remarks.
“I’m not, but this was going to be the first year I could take the girls trick or treating myself.”
Behind him Olivia sighs. “Same. I promised Noah I’d take him this year instead of Lucy.”
Just as Sonny’s about to suggest having Noah, Jesse, and Billie join his sister Bella and her kids in Staten Island, the telltale sound of dress shoes hitting the floor echoes throughout the precinct.
He smells him before he actually sees him, the distinct mix of mahogany, sandalwood, and sage that reminds him of a freshly extinguished campfire. Rafael Barba is wearing a sports jacket instead of a three piece suit and sporting a salt and pepper beard that makes him look equal parts jolly and distinguished. The sparkle in his eyes makes the green look less emerald and almost sea foam. There’s a lightness, a glow that Sonny has never seen before and he feels his heart lurch forward, stuttering in excitement as he takes him in. Seeing Rafael after all this time, happier, brighter, is like reuniting with an old friend and meeting someone new all at once.
“Why does everyone look like they’re dogs have just been shot?” Rafael finally asks after taking in everyone’s expressions.
“We’re being sent undercover on Halloween as campus po,” Fin supplies with a snort.
“One of the NYPD’s most elite and specialized task forces is masquerading as glorified mall cops corralling drunk college students? Remind me to write a letter to the senator thanking him for such great use of my tax dollars.”
“Glad to see that working at the Innocence Project has done nothing to temper your sarcasm,” Olivia says, walking over to stand by Rafael.
“The whole campus police enterprise is tragic enough. But Halloween? Who did you guys piss off?”
“The mayor’s wife, apparently,” Olivia replies as she drops her forehead on Rafael’s shoulder with a sigh.
“Lorraine was always a bit of a nosy one.”
“Well, you can tell little Miss Nosy Nelly that she owes my kids a Halloween” Amanda slams her phone down. “Al can’t take Billie trick or treating because he’ll be in Aspen and Sienna has midterms.”
“I can take them,” Rafael offers casually, as if he were agreeing to help mail a letter or drop off dry cleaning on his way home and not to accompanying two children under the age of 5 on a trek around the city for free candy.
“You?” Amanda blinks owlishly at him, all of her previous anger replaced by disbelief.
He shrugs in response. “Sure. Lots of kids pass through the office and I’m not wholly incompetent.” He pauses, taking a moment to consider something. “The little one can hold her own head up right?”
“Yeah, Barba, she’s almost two.”
“Okay, then we should be fine. Noah can come too,” he adds, turning to Olivia.
“Uhm, yeah,” Olivia clears her throat. “That’d be great.”
Everyone freezes, almost as if anticipating Barba to burst into laughter and tell everyone else that he had been joking. The silence, like a taut rubber band, stretches just beyond comfort.
“Well, it looks like you’ll probably be stuck here getting your ‘you rotten teenager’ acts together. Rain check on dinner, Liv?”
“Probably for the best, unless you want to help.” Sonny watches Olivia slide her hands around Rafael’s bicep to pull him closer to the table, a bolt of jealousy running down his spine at their levity.
“Not on your life, Benson,” he says as he shakes her off playfully. “I’ve been reborn. I’m relaxed now. See, I’m not even wearing suspenders.”
“Depending only on a belt? Now you’re really living life on the edge. Defecting from the DA’s office has really changed you, Rafael.” Olivia circles the table again and settles back in her original seat before flipping open a folder.
“It really has. Nothing like continuing to be overworked and underpaid to take the edge off.” The genuine, albeit small, smile that dances across his face betrays his otherwise sarcastic tone and Sonny can’t help but think that Rafael really has changed in some fundamental way. Overcome by a moment of sentimentality, he feels himself suffused with joy at the idea that Rafael has settled in a place that makes him genuinely happy.
Before he has a chance to gather his thoughts, throw out some witty remark, Barba takes a step back.
“Well, while it was lovely to see all of you, I’m going to sneak away before Olivia actually cons me into staying. I’ll pick the kids up from here tomorrow evening,” he declares as he turns to leave. “Oh, and for the love of God, please make sure they’re already outfitted before I get here. I will have no part in dressing them.”
“Jesse, it’s too cold! You have to keep the hat on.”
“No momma! I’m a ninja princess, not a cowboy ninja princess. The hat messes up my costume.”
Rafael glances up over his phone, bemused by the little spat between mother and daughter happening in front of him. Pouting, Jesse squirms twice before she immediately stops, no doubt on the receiving end of one of Amanda’s signature glares.
“Jesse Mae Rollins if you don’t cut it out, you can go home and sit by yourself while everyone else goes trick or treating. Now get your behind over here.”
He watches as Noah slips around Jesse, who is throwing an impressive glare of her own as Amanda adjusts her jacket and knit hat, before taking the seat next to him.
“What’s your favorite part about trick or treating Uncle Rafa?”
“Well, papito, I’ve never actually been.”
“Never ever?” Noah questions further, his eyes wide with disbelief.
“Why not?” Jesse asks as she pops out over her mother’s shoulder.
“My dad.” Rafael stops and Sonny can almost see the gears in his mind turning. “He was really busy and couldn’t take me.”
An odd tension settles over the room, and everyone’s movements slow ever so slightly.
“Don’t worry Uncle Rafa, it’s Billie’s first time too!” The comforting tone Noah takes on is oddly reminiscent of the tone Olivia uses when talking to victims. “Plus, Jess and I’ve been before so we know what to do! Right Jesse?”
“Right!” Jesse’s earlier petulance melts quietly, but quickly, like a little briquette of ice slipping into a warm bath. Flying forward, she climbs into the wagon with her sister.
“Well, I’m honored to be with such trick or treating experts.” Grabbing his hand, Noah beams at Rafael with a smile that’s more teeth than anything else.. The sound of wagon wheels crunching through the precinct’s uneven floor and excited chattering slowly fade into silence as the slide of the elevator’s door signal their departure.
“Still bummed you’re missing trick or treating with the kids?” Fin asks, bumping Amanda’s shoulder.
“Forget the kids! I can’t believe I’m missing Barba trying to corral them all night!”
Rafael Barba wakes up with a crick in his neck, the weight of two heads on his lap, and an upside down Sonny Carisi swimming into his line of sight.
“Carisi?” He rubs his eyes while trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. “What are you doing here?”
“The Lieutenant and Rollins are still finishing some stuff up, and they sent me to relieve you of childcare duties.” Sonny gently maneuvers Jesse so she’s using Rafael’s leg as a pillow and lying across his lap. “But it looks like you’ve got it covered.”
“You should’ve been here an hour ago,” he whispers as he gently runs his fingers through Jesse’s hair to tease out the knots. “I genuinely feared for my life when I finally cut them off from the candy. I’m pretty sure Jesse growled. Billie definitely tried to bite me. Noah literally tackled me to the ground.”
A puff of laughter bubbles out of Sonny’s chest. “Sounds like Rollins when you try and put her in a cab after a night out.”
Jesse stirs at the noise and throws a hand sleepily over her head, narrowly missing Rafael’s face and landing dangerously close to Noah’s head.
“Don’t wake that one. She’s the worst of them all,” Rafael jokes. He gently moves her hand back down and tucks Noah a little closer so he isn’t dangling so close to the edge of the couch. “I should put them to bed, shouldn’t I?”
“Nah, staying up, getting completely blasted on sugar, and falling asleep watching scary movies on the couch are all part of trick or treating.”
Barba hums in a way that almost feels like a purr, deep and warm. “Glad I’m getting the full experience.”
“So, was trick or treating all you hoped it to be?” Sonny asks as a joke, expecting some snarky reply about demon children on sugar highs perpetually verging on a meltdown.
“It was, actually. I enjoyed it a lot.” The tender vulnerability of his answer sends a prickle up Sonny’s spine.
Out of the corner of his eye, he watches a strange myriad of emotions pass quickly through Barba’s face. In less than ten seconds, he sees the anger, the hurt, the sadness, the shame and can’t help but imagine a tiny Raf watching all the other kids running and playing outside his window. Shaking away the twisting in his stomach, he swallows the small lump that has formed in his throat and turns to face Rafael fully.
The glow of the television colors him shades of blue and red that makes him look like some technicolored miracle. Sonny is once again struck by how brilliant and bright his eyes have become. It’s almost as if years at the DA’s office had clouded them in some darkness, covered them in some gauzy curtain that was finally being lifted. Staring closely, he swore he could see the scenes of Coraline reflected in his irises. Rafael watches the children’s movie the way he did most things, with such laser focus that the rest of the world seems to disintegrate around him. That stare, now completely fixed on the screen, was once the stare that coaxed testimonies out of reluctant witnesses and unearthed confessions from the dregs of society. In a way, it seems almost strange to watch him affixing that same stare to something so frivolous.
“Do you ever miss it? The DA’s office?” He finally asks, turning to the television. He’s not sure why, but for some reason he suddenly can’t bring himself to look Rafael in the eye, lest he mar the beautiful clarity that had settled there in some way with his question.
“Yes and no,” Rafael replies without further elaboration.
“Well, it’s not the same without you.” Sonny can’t seem to hide the wistfulness that saturates his response.
“Wow, had I known all it took was me leaving to finally be appreciated, I would have left a lot sooner.”
“And deprive New York City of even a second of Rafael Barba’s grandstanding? You would never.”
Rafael hums softly, diverting his attention back to Jesse who has thrown a leg haphazardly towards Sonny’s chest. Chucking softly, Sonny shifts her again so she is lying on her side and her cheek is pillowed on Rafael’s.
“So I was wondering,” Sonny pauses, his hand moving to rest on Barba’s knee right next to Jesse’s cheek. “If you’d like to get dinner with me sometime. As a fellow lawyer, I’d love to pick your brain about your experience as a defense attorney. Think of it as a layer dinner.”
“A lawyer dinner, you say?”
“Yes, strictly professional,” Sonny does his best to hide the smile creeping onto his face. “And if we happen to have sex afterwards, so be it.”
At that, Barba tips his head back and laughs so loudly that the kids wake up, immediately demanding more candy and another round of Halloween movies.
“Okay, but now that I’m here we’re watching Halloweentown . If you guys get nightmares because you actually watched Coraline , your moms will never let me hear the end of it.”
“I thought we were going on a lawyer dinner.” Rafael teases as they walk up the steps to Amanda’s apartment.
“We are! There’s just a quick stop we have to make. I have to drop something off at Amanda’s.”
Sonny opens the door, but instead of walking in, he guides Barba through first. At first, he’s greeted by nothing but darkness, but suddenly a series of light flash on just as squeals of laughter slide through the silence.
“Trick or treat!” Noah and Jesse yell not quite in unison.
“What’s all this?” In front of him are Noah and Jesse, dressed in their Halloween costumes from the weekend before, carrying jack-o lantern pails and pillowcases that look impossibly full. Rollins is juggling a pillowcase of her own and a giggling Billie, who is eagerly gnawing at a king sized Snickers bar.
“It was Uncle Sonny’s idea to make up for all the Halloweens you missed!” Noah declares as he and Jesse dump out their pails and pillowcases.
Jesse digs through the pile before pulling out a bright red block. “I picked this one out, it was the biggest KitKat in the store.”
“We only got the king sized chocolates,” Noah adds. “Because 50 something Halloweens is A LOT of Halloweens to make up for, Uncle Rafa.”
“King!” Billie squeals, almost on cue as she throws her arms out reaching for him.
Amanda laughs and hands a squirming Billie over to Rafael, who pulls the little girl up and balances her on his hip. With a wet slap, she smears a streak of chocolate that had melted on her fingers across Rafael’s face and Sonny watches as he looks at Billie with a peculiar fondness that he can’t quite place, but warms him all the same.
“All the chocolate that little Rafael deserved,” Sonny says quietly as he locks eyes with Rafael.
Rafael smiles back in a way that makes his eyes crinkle and in that moment Sonny decides that Halloween has officially overtaken Christmas as his new favorite holiday.