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They only officially meet once a year.
On an island somewhere. With the soft sand against their feet and the wind blowing through their hair.
An empty room awaits their arrival, carved into the end of a cave, at the edge of the beach. There they’ll lock themselves in for the duration of the time they have together. Each grain of sand falling down the hourglass reminding them of just how much time they do not have.
He usually arrives first, ever so eager as he waits for her at the shore. Descending down from the heavens, he often misses the feeling of the salt water up to his ankles and soaking the ends of his crisp, white robe. Most often he has lackeys to attend to those on Earth, Gojo only watching them from the comforts of his throne, creating life before sending them off onto the land. He loves the feeling of the waves pulling in and out, splashing against his skin as he looks out into the horizon.
She is never late, he is merely always early.
Rising from the depths, the Earth opens up just for her. She emerges as beautiful as ever, the sunset colouring her in a deep orange as the sound of the sea moves in tandem with her footsteps. The floor length black viel she wears drags heavy across the sand as she moves closer to her opposite, brown eyes peeking through the shadow of her covering before she slowly pulls it down to grace the Earth with her smile.
Utahime can’t help but roll her eyes as Gojo bows deeply, before offering her his hand to hold onto. The emptiness of his palm soon filled by the coldness of her skin.
“My lady.” A playful tone colouring his voice.
She slaps his shoulder.
“Don’t start.”
He only laughs, a grin forming upon his lips, knowing he’ll have the privilege to tease her until the sun sets again. Gojo squeezes her hand tight as he revels in the day he looks forward to once a year.
“Did you miss me?” Gojo press his lips atop her hand and takes it all in as if he’s trying to burn the memory of her into his mind.
“You ask me that every year.”
“I still would like to know.”
“We saw each other two moons ago.”
“Two moons too many.” He can’t help himself from planting a kiss on her cheek before they start walking towards the cave at the end of the beach. “Plus, it wasn’t today.”
“No.” a soft smile plays on Utahime’s lips, “No, it wasn’t today.”
Everyone knows.
The spirits know, the creatures know, all the other Gods and Goddesses know. It’s not a secret, and they don’t do a very good job of hiding it in the first place. Gojo is not a God that can shut his mouth so easily.
At this point it is beyond gossip, it is a fact weaved into myths and legends, the union of the God of Life and the Goddess of Death. To some it could be seen as a tragedy. To have fate tie opposing string together, knots that cannot be unbound and yet can never really be together.
Some have said that it would have been better if they never met, and yet how could Gods not meet? The obsession with parties is rampant amongst them, time to relax and forget about their duties for a while. And yet a party every few days would be deemed excessive to most. The loneliness of being powerful beings cause many to fall in each other’s laps. And yet, most don’t fall for those that they can’t have, no matter how tempting it may be. But he wouldn’t leave her alone, and she never asks him to leave.
They first catch each other’s eyes through the cascading stream of a waterfall.
At someone’s estate they can’t seem to remember, too many centuries ago. In the middle of a hollow garden room stood a waterfall, where the water comes from and where it goes is not something anyone really thinks about. But she sits there on a bench alone, through the indoor waterfall across from where he stands, a glass of something in her hands, a black lace veil that gathered on the floor hangs over her face.
But he sees her eyes, glistening through the darkness.
“Is it a funeral?” are the first words to escape him when the echoes of his footsteps stop and he finds himself standing in front of her. His feet moving on their own as his eyes stay fixated on her, subconsciously moving himself to where he wants to be.
But she doesn’t take the question lightly. Rolling her eyes and clicking her tongue in annoyance.
“There’s always a funeral somewhere.” She replies as she lifts her veil slightly to bring the alcohol to her lips.
It’s a question she gets a little too often. Possibly a reason why she almost never comes to these parties.
But before she can put the lace back over her eyes, his face is already in front of hers. Kneeling down to her level as he holds her hand in place above them, stopping her from pulling the fabric over herself. She almost falls backwards at the shock, but his arm finds itself wrapping around her and holding her in place.
She’s frozen, the arm of a stranger around her waist and his face too close for comfort. She can feel his breath on her skin as looks into his clear cerulean eyes. Shimmering like the water that flows behind them.
Suddenly his hand is on her cheek, looking at her so intently as his thumb brushes against the scar that lay across her face. The temptation to close her eyes and revel in the feeling of his fingertips against her cheek almost consumes her, but it’s his voice that brings her back.
“Where were you when the world came to be?” he whispers with his eyes wide like the moon, a Cheshire grin spreading across his cheeks as he watches her face turn red at how close they are.
Utahime can tell that he too is a God. There’s a certain glow about them, like their skin had been sewn together with starlight. She too must possess it, the aura of a powerful being, but he seems different. He exudes power and nothing else, her breath almost stopping the moment she caught him from the other side of the room.
Her hand acts before her mind. Instinctively pushing him off of her, causing him to stumble backwards and fall onto the floor.
“Already waiting for someone to die.” She answers him with a little vexation in her tone. But her own hand comes to her face, as if to feel the remnants of his fingertips against her own.
Gojo picks himself up, the smile still plastered onto his face. Like he’d just discovered a new toy, wanting nothing but to play with it for the rest of eternity.
“You must be Utahime.” The lines connect in his head, “I’ve heard a lot about you, Goddess of Death.”
He glows like he owns the world, and if he hadn’t uttered a word she might have believed it herself.
“What exactly have you heard?” the curiosity is so strong she almost stumbles on her own words. She has to raise her head slightly to look him in the eye, his height fitting for a God to loom over their subordinates.
But she hates that smirk he wears already. “That you’re weak.”
It should shock her more, but a millennia of not meeting most of the other Gods would make others talk. Not many people visit the underworld and there’s no need for her to venture outside her realm. But people talk, even Gods love gossip.
“And who told you that?” she tries her best not to throw her cup at him and his stupid face. She wants to keep her composure, if any of it is left.
“Ah, it’s been so long I don’t remember.” He runs his hand through his stark white hair, “maybe I started the rumour.”
Her frown is deeply embedded into her face, almost fearing that it’ll now stay permanently in place.
“How lovely.” Utahime wishes he would just go. She doesn’t want an idiot of a God to talk to her for the rest of the night. She’s only here because she promised Shoko that she’d come to at least one party in this century.
But he’s still standing there, even when she tries her best not to look at him. “Why weren’t you with us? The day the world started.”
“I didn’t want the dead to wait.”
“The world had just started.”
She doesn’t have anything to reply. Another sip of her drink while she tries her best to look away from him, sounding as uninterested in him as possible. But he only moves closer and closer to her, with every breath his smile widens and the space between them closes.
“So I’m guessing you were just messing about?” she finally figures out what to retort.
“You could say that.”
“What are you in charge of?”
“The living.”
She pauses, whipping her head back to him. The way he stands so tall with hair as white as sunlight. A wicked smile across his cheeks and the playfulness of a child in his eyes. She cannot stop herself from laughing.
“Perfect.”
Utahime finally finds the perfect awkward silence to stand up and make her way out of the room. Although unfamiliar with the layout, she’s sure anywhere is better than with this incessant God that can’t seem to shut his mouth.
“Will you come? There’s a party next month at-“ he’s already next to her, matching her speed without a second thought.
She cuts his train of thought. “I can’t stay away from the underworld for too long.”
“Oh?” he almost sounds genuine in his concern. “Do you get homesick easily?”
“You could say that.”
“I’ll show you around here, I promise you won’t miss anything from your realm.” There’s a hint of something in his voice that she absolutely despises.
“I think I’ll pass.”
“Then I’ll come down to you! I’ve never been to the underworld.”
“You’d probably blind everyone.”
Gojo finally stops, but the suddenness of his movement make her almost trip over herself as she pauses in tandem.
“With my beauty?” he asks so seriously that the glass in her hand finally makes it to his face. But it never reaches his skin, bouncing off him like he’s untouchable, only laughing in return. He only glows brighter as she gets more and more riled up, no words left on her lips to throw back at him and the experience already tiring her shoulders.
“You-!“
“I’ll see you next month.” He doesn’t even let her call him names, “I’ll pick you up personally if I don’t see you.”
“I won’t be there.”
“A month from today. As soon as the sun has done its turn.”
“I don’t know where it’s at.”
“My place. I’ll send you an invite.”
“I don’t even know your name.”
And the grin that forms on his lips one so cruel she almost feels it reverberating in her chest.
“Oh you’ll be saying my name soon enough.”
“Gojo.”
It’s poison to his ears. He’s only ever wanted her to whisper his name against his skin over and over again as centuries pass them by. But there’s something about the way she says his name, like he means something to her. Like it’s worth more than it is.
He pulls her against his side as they continue to walk in the sand. An arm around her waist as he presses his lips into her hair.
“What is it?”
“How shall we spend today?”
He raises his eyebrows suggestively, “You know how we’ll spend it.”
She pushes him off her playfully before the end of the sentence reaches her ears. The sound of her laughter fills the air, a sound he tries to savour every time they’re together. He only wants to hear her laughter and nothing else for eternity.
Gojo reaches out and grabs a hold of her hand, squeezing tight as he starts running faster towards their destination. An initial yelp comes out of her but soon she’s running along with him.
Her hands are cold.
They’re always cold.
He has tried warming them up with his breath, but nothing changes. It’s strange against his own palm, like he has to constantly thaw out her skin. But she reassures him that it’s always been like this, to match the temperature of the frigid underworld.
But she warms against him when they’re together, skin against skin as she whispers his name in pure bliss and he echoes hers back. He wants to make her feel like that forever, keep her warm in his bed and never leave.
Sometimes he thinks about taking her. Taking her away from all the responsibilities and keeping her all to himself. He would be able to see her more than once a year.
But she would never allow it, too dedicated to her craft and too loving to abandon the souls that come to her.
“I wish I could see you more often.” He hopes he can kiss every inch of her tonight, not missing a single patch of skin unmarked by him.
Gojo can feel her sigh against him, “Don’t talk like this already. The day has only just begun.”
The next time they meet she already knows his name. Gojo finds out that apparently she had talked about him to someone else, and he thoroughly thinks that that someone deserves a medal for letting his name come from her lips without him having to coax it out of her.
It’s one party, and then another, and another. She made it a habit to at least attend one every 6 months, promising Shoko that she’d at least speak once to all the Gods within the decade. But the one God she knows too well ends up following her every move whenever they spot each other.
It’s the way she looks for him through the stars that hang to the floor at the garden estate. The way she pretends she doesn’t see him, but to him it’s too obvious that she has. The way he always keeps an eye on her even when he’s talking to someone else, taking note at whose jokes she is laughing at.
There’s always a party going on somewhere. Gods and Goddesses love to party after all. Her presence is always a surprise. He comes to each one just to make sure he doesn’t miss her.
She always sticks out no matter what. The Goddess of death drenched in only black, with a lace veil over her eyes until someone comes up to talk to her. But there’s something about her, hands deep in the pocket of death and yet there’s not one deity that doesn’t want to catch a few words with her.
It’s as if her smile shines through her heavenly aura. Pink lips against her pale skin and the dark hair that frames her face. Her lips are soft and supple. And her smiles more genuine than any other God. He would know.
He wonder if he were to offer his soul, would she take him in?
“Don’t crowd her now!” his voice is always joyful, a high pitched tone that goes straight for her ears. He can see her wince ever so slightly, “That’s my job.”
“Gojo.” He only ever wants his name on her lips.
“Utahime.” His grin making up for the annoyance starting to bloom on her face, “Bored of the dead, are you? Didn’t know you were coming.”
“Didn’t know I had to inform you.”
“Oh I would’ve made you the honoured guest of the evening.”
“This isn’t even your party.”
“But who has more power than the God of the Living anyway?” he winks at her as if she should be impressed. As if they haven’t been ruling over their own sections of the universe for too many decades to count.
He leans in, using his fingers to push her veil behind her ears and whispers in her ear, “You can make up for it by coming home with me.”
Utahime pushes him off her as soon as the words reach her ear. The blush on her face a deep scarlet, covering herself once again in the black lace.
“I’d rather not.” She tries to turn away from him, but he makes sure he’s always in her line of sight. “You’re a glorified accountant, that’s all you are.”
“Then wouldn’t you be the same?”
“Never said I wasn’t.”
“Oh Utahime, you shouldn’t belittle yourself so much.”
There’s a second where she catches something in his eye. A smirk, a grin, a facial expression she absolutely hates. Before the words she has decided on are able to leave her lips, Gojo lifts up her veil and plants a chaste kiss on her cheek. Marking the spot with his touch and making the thrill of it shiver down her spine.
Her fingers find their way to the spot without her consent. As if she wanted to preserve it from outside contamination. She doesn’t know what colour her cheeks have taken and yet she can feel them burning against the palm on her hand.
“Did you like that?” he has the audacity to wink.
But she can’t find the words to retort with something smart. Only turning away, slowly making her way to somewhere where she can sort through her thoughts and maybe bury them where she no longer has to think about them.
“Utahime?” she can hear his footsteps before her, carefully treading to gauge what he should say next. “I’m sorry I-“
“No.” she turns back to meet him almost bumping into her. “No, don’t apologise like you regret it.”
“I don’t.” he says with no hesitation.
“Good.”
“You don’t hate it?” his head tilts in question as he awaits her answer. When the answer only comes in the form of a silence, the smirk comes back to his face “Of course you don’t.”
She tuts in annoyance and slaps his arm. “I hated it.”
“Are you sure?”
“You have no manners!”
“I really don’t.”
“I came to be before you! You should respect me a little more!”
“Oh, but what is a century or two?”
Utahime attempts to wrap herself back into her veil, not wanting Gojo to see any more of her outbursts. But a hand stops her, holding the black lace up as he steps into it and lets it drape around the both of them. He has to bend at the knees a little, to get to her height, the ridiculousness of it almost making her chuckle.
“Utahime.” He says her name like a wish, “Come home with me.”
“I can’t.” she confesses her truth.
“Why not?”
“Why should I?” she almost sticks out her tongue to taunt him just as much.
But she feels his hand brushing up against hers, as his fingers slowly interweave into hers. She almost freezes up at the warmth of his skin, but instead her hand squeezes his back.
“So I can have you alone.”
“And what would we do alone?”
“All the unspeakable thing you’ve only ever imagined.”
He places his thumb upon her bottom lip, the rest of his fingers balancing her chin, watching himself lightly drag it his thumb back and forth against her. She holds his wrist tightly, her own thumb slipping into his closed palm.
“Did you miss me?”
“Didn’t we already discuss this?”
He pulls her by the chin, causing her to topple on top of him, pushing them both onto the bed. His lips capture hers, swallowing as much as her as he can. She tastes better than the nectar of the Gods, sweet and salty and every flavour he could ever ask for against his tastebuds.
“I want you to say it.”
She rolls her eyes, “I missed you. And I’ll miss you tomorrow until we meet again.”
“Didn’t know you were such a romantic.”
She slaps him across the chest right before he pulls her into him once more and consumes her. Their bodies so familiar with each other, they meld into one.
He gathers her dress in his fists, slowly pushing it off her body and throwing it to the floor. There’s no need for it here. He does the same by removing his own clothes and throwing them in the same direction.
Skin on skin there’s no part amongst them that doesn’t want to be touched.
As they catch their breath Gojo leans his head against Utahime’s, holding her close to him as if she would run away were he to let go.
“What if we just stay here?” he ponders out loud.
“Gojo …” Utahime is cautious, not wanting him to get any wild ideas while they are out here.
“What if we just stay here forever. No one would care.”
“They definitely would.” She argues, now sitting herself up as she faces him with a serious face. Warning him against his own thoughts.
“They’ll get someone else! Shoko can take over the underworld for you. Megumi is already-“
“Gojo you know we can’t.” she doesn’t want to raise her voice on him. Not today. “Don’t humour an idea that will only break your heart.”
There’s a lull, as Gojo tries to process his own thoughts. He slowly rubs his thumb into Utahime’s palm, his thoughts flowing in figures of eights.
“I humour you, don’t I?” the lightness finally back in his voice.
“I only laugh out of pity.”
Utahime reaches down to plant a kiss on his lips, reminding him that he’s not alone in his thoughts. But too many rules and regulations have plagued their relationship already, she’d rather have what they currently have than risk getting an even bigger sentence.
“Why won’t they let us be together?”
She can only offer him a soft smile.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.”
They can’t be together.
Not for a long time. Not for enough time to intertwine their lives.
The shock hits Gojo too hard. He begs for it. Pleads for it. On his knees to beings he could care less about, just to be able to spend some time with the one he loves. He’s fuming and ready to fight anyone that would step forward. He’d kill them all if he has to.
But no one bats an eye at his emotions. No one cares about how they feel, only caring about the decision that has already been made for them.
They say that the pair are too much of a risk, too much of a hassle, too much of a liability.
Utahime tries to take it with grace in front of the council. Beings she has trusted and looked up to all her life, now telling her she isn’t allowed to do the one thing she’s asked for in all these years.
She nods and bows. Leaving the room with her back against them as the anger bubbles up inside of her.
It’s an executive decision made by the council. They say it’s too much of a risk. What if one decides to leave their realm to live with the other? They say. What if they break each other’s hearts and refuse to work together? They question. The very balance of life and death hangs at their disposal.
No promises from their part taken into account. Not Utahime’s perfect track record or Gojo’s natural talent at his job. No choice but to follow the rules.
They’re given only two forms of compensation.
The first being the ability to still see each other at events. Formal meetings. Parties. Special occasions. Interact as they normally would, but someone will always have their eye on them. Making sure they do not sneak out and meet each other outside of the event itself.
The second, a day in a year. Just one day. From one sunset to the next. When they can spend the entire day together. Somewhere in between their two realms, where no mortals lay and no Gods have rule over. An empty land just for the two of them.
They both take it. Not that they have a choice. Not that they would get anything better were they to complain some more.
He kisses her deeply before they have to part. Whispering sweet nothings into her ear as he promises to find a way to change everything. To make sure he can see her more often. To make sure she’s allowed to be in his arms again.
She doesn’t say much. Not able to find the words that would help them part ways. Only trying her best to not let her tears run down her face. She brings his hands to her lips, kissing the back of them as her eyes close tight and the sensation of his skin on her imprints itself in her mind.
Their last kiss holding back the one thought they both hold.
That what hurts the most is that the logic makes sense.
“Can I stay a little longer?” he plays with her hair between his fingers, twirling the strands of jet black against his skin. “Can I live with you?”
“You’re bad for the dead, Gojo.” She says with her head on his chest, “You’ll lose the light in your eyes.”
“I’ll borrow the starlight from yours.”
He’s so smooth with his words that she wonder if he just has a list of sayings he has ready to go whenever the situation arises.
Gojo grazes the tips of his fingers against the side of her arm, in squiggly motions that have no rhyme or reason. His lips forever against her skin, stamping light pecks into her head. His other arm wraps itself around her waist to keep her in place, as she lay on his torso, her own fingers drawing lines up and down his skin.
“You’d die of the cold down in the underworld.”
“That’s why you’re there to warm me up.” His winks still make her gag.
Gojo lift her up the bed slightly, to make his lips come parallel to her neck. His tongue soon finding the warmth of her skin. She doesn’t complain, she can’t complain. Not on the one day she’s allowed to indulge herself.
He bites her slightly. Just to make sure she’s real. With death on his lips he wonders if this is the feeling that humans meet in the end. The marks he leaves each time he catches her at a party still greet him whenever he next see hers, and the very sight of them brings much joy to his life.
He always asks her to wear something that would reveal them. So the other Gods can see them. So the others Gods can see that he has marked her as his. As if they don’t already hear about it every time her name is mentioned in conversation.
“Don’t you want to stay with me?” he asks mid lick. As if trying to brush it off casually, as if his question bear no burden in his mind.
“You make it sound like it’s my fault.”
That makes him stop.
“I didn’t mean such a thing.” He looks into her eyes, as if to search for an answer he knows not the question to. “You know what I mean.”
“If you’re going to take it out on me, do it on any other day of the year.”
“No, I-“
He hears her sigh before the words fall out of her.
“I know.” She confesses. “I wonder the same things.”
She pushes herself up, sitting herself against the headboard as she watches Gojo echo her movements. A kiss into his bare shoulder before she lays her forehead against in.
“Why won’t you just break the rules for me? You seem the type to do so.” Her laugh is almost sad, “Am I not worth it? Do you not want this? Are you satisfied with just this?”
He can already feel the words start to blurt out of his mouth, but he bites his tongue and lets her continue.
“I think it too, Gojo.” Her eyes flutter close as she reaches for his lips and takes him in for a second of her life. It’s soft and melancholy and tastes like the fruit she probably had before she arrived. He watches as her brown eyes glow in the dim lights, “But I haven’t done anything either, so who am I to complain?”
“You should complain.” He kisses her once more, not wanting to waste their breaths on nothing. “The more you complain the more tempted I will be.”
“And then what? The world really will fall apart.”
Slowly Gojo pushes Utahime back onto her back, as he climbs on top of her and takes her lips once more. “We never know until we try.”
“Gojo …” she tries to warn him when they come up for air.
“Say my name again. I don’t hear it enough throughout the year.”
“Gojo.” She wants to get back on topic but he’s flipped her onto her stomach already, kissing the back of her neck and making his way down her body.
“I’ll come to you.” His lips graze her spine, “One day, I promise I’ll come to you.”
“And what will I do? Wait for you like a useless damsel?”
“I wouldn’t mind.”
“Think about what you’re saying, Gojo.”
“I’ve thought about it for too long.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” she lets out a hesitant laugh, hoping he’d catch onto her brand of sarcasm.
But instead she can hear the smirk growing on his face. The wheel turning in his mind as the thought sinks in. She lets him have this one, settling into the bed as she waits for him to make his move.
Gojo only wonders what tomorrow will bring.
“Alright.”
Officially they only meet once a year. When the leaves turn and the seasons change. In the small opening they are given, they try to make the best of each other’s company.
It takes a few centuries but the alarm bells finally rings. Only empty thrones paint the backdrop of them respective realms. Only a loud stillness reverberates at the event everyone was expecting to eventually happen.
But surprisingly the world still turns. The rivers still flow and the souls still find their way back home. Not a second passes where a panic is felt from either realm.
They meet in the middle. Somewhere far and empty and out of sight. Somewhere only the sound of the waves pulling in and out the shore and the stars that look down from above are present. A realm just for the two of them.
“Are you happy?” Gojo finally asks her as they watch the sun disappear behind the horizon and the world turn a pitch black.
“Don’t be an idiot.” Utahime answers, leaning into him as she wipes off tears she tries her best to hide. “Of course I am.”