Chapter Text
You barely even remembered how the conversation happened, all you knew was that you were furious. And truth be told you wanted to tell yourself that you were actually furious at Cedric, but somewhere deep inside of you told yourself that it didn’t feel right. Despite his angered tears at the end that had led to the state the two of you are currently in, you knew he was just hurt, something that was simply out of the heat of the moment. What came from a small argument had caused you the already broken pieces of what formerly was your relationship.
Truth was, it was both of your fault. The two of you had by accident made the actual argument larger about what it was about originally. You didn’t even know where any of it had come from, maybe it was the stress from the war — but you knew that was pretty much stressing everyone especially those who were unfortunate enough to still be attending Hogwarts. Neither one of you wanted to lose the other, but the way you two had expressed it was far from how you imagined—instead of it ending with a night full of comfort and hushed whispers of sweet nothings, it ended in dread, insecurities, and whole lot of words that the either of you could ever actually mean.
Now here you were, standing in the middle of the battlefield that was once a place where you and your friends happily ran through as you teased one another whether it was about a certain someone or just you messing around in general. And now, the place you once called home was covered in a rubble of ruins, pieces of what once used to be a castle full of happiness, laughter, and magic, torn down, like puzzle pieces coming undone, and crushed down to smaller pieces, not giving any chance to be put back together.
Flashes of different colored lights flew left and right, dead bodies of friends and foe everywhere you stepped, everywhere your eyes can follow. The crimson red color coated the broke-down stone walls all around you like fresh paint over old, stained concrete.
Then there you saw it.
You saw him.
Your body instantly froze at the sight of the man in front of you, knowing his next movement, you ducked behind a large piece of stone, large enough to at least cover your whole body if you ducked correctly.
Memories flood back to you, memories of a younger you making a mistake that had changed the course of your life, a mistake you’ve caused for being reckless and careless as an adolescent child who should’ve known better, a mistake you could’ve avoided if you were more mature.
Then everything came back to you, the fight you had with Cedric, the insecurities that bubbled inside of you.
Not caring if the man could see you, you jumped from behind the large rock and at once sprinted towards you knew Cedric would be—failing to notice the eyes you’ve caught, following you in tow.
Not caring about whatever’s going around you, you ducked through spells and weapons that crossed your way, stepping over the countless corpses you pass, slipping through small and large pieces of rubbles, you were determined to find Cedric and tell him that it wasn’t his fault. You needed him to know that you didn’t mean any of the things you said, you needed him to know just how much you actually love him, you needed him to at least have a peace of mind during this war, you didn’t need him losing focus over a fight you had caused that could cost him his life, you didn’t need to lose him in the state you two had left with. Knowing Cedric, you knew he would be thinking about such thing in the middle of a war that can possibly take his life, he cheated death once, you weren’t sure if he could do it again.
Your eyes darted from left to right, looking for the familiar head of hair your fingers often get lost into, your worry increasing every second that you don’t see him. Breathing heavily, you stopped in your tracks and let your hands rest on your knees, wanting to just give up—you knew you couldn’t, you had to keep looking for him, everything you’re doing was for him, you knew just how much he deserves a happy ending — one way or another, didn’t matter if it was with you or not, he needed a happy and peaceful life filled with joy and laughter without a worry in what’s going to happen next.
Your body jumped when you felt someone put their hands on your shoulder, your heartbeat skyrocketing once more, right after you’ve finally caught your breath. You raised your wand at the person who had almost given you a heart attack. You sighed in relief when you saw that it was just your best friend Carmen.
“Blimey, you almost gave me a heart attack!” You exclaimed at the brunette.
Also out of breath, Carmen grabbed your shoulders and looked behind you as if searching for something before seeing her eyes widen and pulled you away with her to God-knows where.
“Carmen, what the hell!” You screamed over the explosions, still being dragged away by the girl, following her anyway.
“It’s Avery, I saw him following your earlier, and I knew I had to get you out of there, I knew I had to see if he saw us or not, he was busy with some Gryffindors so I took my chance.” The girl explained, still running with her hands on your shoulders, securing you as much as she could in the speed of how fast you two were running.
Your blood ran cold at the name, you had saw him earlier but you didn’t know that he had saw you, let alone follow you.
“Shit,” you mumbled under your breath. Then you remembered who you were running to in the first place, “Carr, by any chance you’ve seen Cedric?”
Taking a small pause, Carmen stopped to think (all the while still running) and replied, “Uh, I think I saw him earlier with that Hufflepuff bloke Ernie Macmillan.”
“Where?”
“Somewhere around the Astronomy tower, why?”
“There’s something I need to do.”
“Well, okay then, be careful, I think we’ve lost him.” The two of you slowed down, you were about to head towards the other direction but you were stopped again by Carmen, who grabbed your shoulders and turned you around, gripping your sides firmly, “Y/N I’m not kidding, please be careful.” Her eyes begged, you were her first and longest friend, as she is to you. The two of you had been through almost everything together, she was there when you had first gotten together with Cedric and was the one who had given him ‘the speech’ on how she’ll murder him in cold blood if he ever hurts you, you were also the first person she talked about her sexuality and accepted her with open arms, she also told you about the first time she had a crush on Cho Chang and had set the two of them up. You two were each other’s most trusted person, always have been, always will be.
You raised your palm and rubbed her shoulder reassuringly, “I will. I promise, you too.” You gave her one last comforting smile before running off to find Cedric.
After some time of searching the crowd, you felt someone tackling you to the ground—a hand pressed against the back of your head and another on your waist, not so much as tackling as more it is pulling you down with them. The way you were held felt very gentle so you weren’t too cautious as to who this person was, but you were still wary so your hand immediately flew to your wand that was pocketed securely on your side, your fingers grazed the piece of wood before noticing who had pulled you down.
Your arms immediately flew around the figure in front of you, unbelievably relieved and happy to see them alive still.
“Oh, good merlin you’re alright, I’ve been looking all over for you.” Bringing your arms closer together, you hugged their body closer to you, afraid that if you let go any looser, they’d slip away from your arms.
At the immediate contact, the person didn’t hesitate to bring their arms around you and securing you gently but firmly in their arms, almost even closer than you were before now. “Yeah, yeah, I’m alright, are you okay?” Still keeping you close, they asked softly, whispering in your ear out of breath.
“Yeah, I’m alright Cedric.” You assured, also out of breath, still in shock that he’s finally here with you.
Then you remembered.
Surprising yourself, you were the first to pull away from the hug, both of your palms touched his cheeks, cradling their face softly, “Are you injured? Hurt?” moving his face from left to right, checking for any severe injuries and such, not finding any more than the tiny cuts and bruises covered in dust and debris that decorated almost everyone’s faces. After finding nothing more alarming than a large bruise, you held his face so that it was now facing you, still cradling his cheeks, “I’m so sorry.”
Scrunching his brows, Cedric shook his head and asked you, “What?”
“For this morning, for every day and night that led to this war, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
The boy was stunned, there you were in front of him with the most apologetic he has ever seen you in, almost like you thought you had lost him, and truth be told, you did think you had lost him, especially after what had happened this morning.
You really thought you’ve done it, you felt like the worst person in the world after you’d seen your brightest sunshine on the gloomiest of days turn into a heavy dark-clouded storm, especially knowing it was you who had did it. You were the one to turn someone as happy as Cedric—even on the day of a war that could take his life and many others—into millions of broken pieces of glass that pained you as you kept accidentally stepping on it.
Cedric was about to say something, but you quickly cut him off, “Look, I know you have a tendency to overthink, especially when it comes to this, especially after what I said. I just needed you to know, it’s not you, not your fault. I always do this, I keep blowing things out of proportion and it makes you blue, I keep telling myself that I have a reason to attack, but I don’t, I never do. It’s all me, it’s all in my head, okay? I’m sorry I burned us down, I never mean the terrible things I say to you, about you. I’m sorry that I hurt you. I never wanna do this to you, not now, not ever. So, I hope you know that I love you, despite everything I have ever said, I don’t mean it. My insecurities keep making me forget to remind you just how much I actually love you, never forget that.”
Cedric was now looking at you in awe, dumbfounded by your little speech. The two of you had completely forgotten that you were currently in the middle of a war, but that changed when an explosion was heard causing both of your heads to snap towards where the sound of explosion came from, you being the first look back whilst the boy was still preoccupied by the recent explosion. When his eyes make its way back to you, a haunting voice filled it the already loud surroundings.
“Mudblood, I know you’re there. Come out here and meet your unfortunate fate.”
You almost wanted to roll your eyes at how dramatic Death Eaters were if they weren’t about to actually kill you.
“Is that-” Cedric was about to ask something you already knew would only increase his worries, so you cut him off, nodding.
You were about to say something else when another voice called out.
“Cedric!”
Said boy immediately turned around to be faced with a scathed Ernie Macmillan, limping his way towards the boy while ducking spells here and there.
As soon as the Hufflepuff got behind the large wall the both of you had been hiding behind, Cedric faced his friend, catching him as his leg gave out. “Ernie? What’s wrong?”
“Besides the god damn war we’re in the middle of?” The boy replied sarcastically, “Sorry, I’m just- I hate this, this is my only coping mechanism.” He apologized before continuing, “It’s Niko, I can’t find him anywhere, last I saw him we had split up when he went to help Fred Weasley. We’ve got to find him mate and I really can’t do this by myself,” he said, gesturing to the gash on his leg that had caused his limp.
Cedric stared at his friend before looking back at you with worry bur you quickly reassured him, “Go, find your friend.”
“What about you? Where are you going?”
Hesitating on telling the truth, you held both of his shoulders, “I’m gonna face him, Cedric. I have to, I can’t keep running away from it.” You explained truthfully. You knew you might not come back and you knew you couldn’t have your last words to Cedric being a lie.
“But–”
You were quick to cut him off again, knowing he was going to try and stop you. “No buts, go and find Niko. I have to do this, this was my mistake, I did this, I have to face my own demons, I’ll see you after.” If I make it to after, you thought.
The boy was hesitant on leaving you—he always has been, war or not—but nodded silently before kissing your cheek and whispering in your ear, “Come back to me.” Then continue going with Ernie, helping him stay standing.
As soon as the two walked away and making sure they were clear, you went out from behind the wall, immediately faced with Avery Jr. himself.
The man grinned wickedly at the sight of you, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Mudblood I’ve been looking for. Ready to face your consequences?”
“I must admit Avery, it was my fault and I do apologize for my behavior back then. But you deserved what you got, and I am not sorry for that.” Getting ready to run, you quickly grabbed your wand before doing something you knew was incredibly stupid. “—You despicable grudge-holding old hag.” You quickly said before running the other direction, hearing him yell ‘Crucio!’ from behind you, making you duck as you kept running.
Eventually, you got tired of ducking his spells. You saw a large boulder before running behind it, looking back from behind the large rock to see him shoot another spell at you. And lucky you, you were great at non-verbal spells, quickly protecting yourself from the unforgivable curse and continue running ahead towards a building that was unrecognizable to you, but it was still standing.
Hiding behind a pillar, you peaked your head out to see if the man had managed to follow, unfortunately, he did, making you hide back behind the small large pillar.
Your body shook with anxiety as you stood still behind the pillar, hearing Avery calling out for you.
“I’m sorry Cedric.” You said, closing your eyes before walking from behind the pillar to face the Death Eater once more.