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Saburo pulled the two clip-on black ponytails out of the box that was kept earlier in her room. They were lastly used when dressing up to help with Ichiro’s first hosting experience. Saburo knew that Jiro didn’t think much of that day, saying it was simply a must to help Ichiro, but Saburo felt a lot different about putting that dress on.
She grabbed a few of her short hairs, clasping them together as she clipped on one of the ponytails, which fell just past her shoulder. Making sure it fitted on properly by glancing at the bathroom mirror, she put on the other one.
“Hm,” Saburo hummed, tilting her head to the side. After pulling herself up into a skater skirt, she took a good look at herself in the mirror. She was still wearing her usual yellow hoodie with the buttoned jacket, but the skirt and pigtails made it all the more feminine.
Standing in that bathroom was a safe and enclosed space, with no one to look at her but herself. In the mirror there was Saburo. The Saburo everyone knew and the Saburo she felt she were, just… girly. Girly Saburo.
Saburo laughed to herself, watching the skirt folds and pigtails chase her when she made a little twirl.
“Saburo? What are you doing?” Jiro asked, one eyebrow raised as he stood in the door opening.
Saburo was completely stunned, frozen in position as she turned her head. ‘Fuck, I forgot to lock the door.’
“I-It’s cosplay! I heard Ichi-nii found it cool so I tried it out.” She stuttered, quickly pulling out the pigtails from her head and putting them down in the sink.
“Saburo?”
“Hm?” She immediately replied.
“That’s eh,” Jiro started, but sighed instead of finishing his sentence. “Nevermind. Just let me know if you need help. I’m your big brother too.” He said, tapping the door frame nervously.
Saburo felt like Jiro was looking right through her, as she just outed herself on the spot. Regardless, Jiro acted calmly and walked out of the room again with a wave. It was out of character for him not to mock Saburo. Wasn’t finding his little brother in a dress the perfect opportunity to mock her? So why didn’t he say anything? Why did he respond so calmly and mature?
Saburo got shivers down her spine yet took the neutral reaction from Jiro for granted. God forbid him telling Ichiro about this. Being mocked by Jiro is bad, but being scolded by Ichiro for dressing up as girly would be the death of her.
Jiro closed the door softly, processing calmly what just happened. He heard the lock switch almost aggressively from the other side. Part of him wanted to go back and ask them what was going on, but it was better to leave Saburo alone right now. If they had something to tell him, then all Jiro could do is make them feel like they can.
Even so, it’s not like this is the first time something happened. Jiro caught up upon hints, never really thinking much of it, but the more they built up, the more obvious it all became. Jiro gave himself a bonk to his head mentally, feeling bad for assuming things. For all he knew it could be nothing.
The thought of consulting Jyushi about this popped up and while Jiro would know any secret like this would be safe with Jyushi’s heart, it still didn’t feel right. Jiro just had to shut up about it and wait it out. If the time comes, Saburo will come to him.
Apparently, that time was now already. Saburo had exited the bathroom, back into their usual clothing. Head hung low, fidgeting hands while they stood in front of Jiro.
“Everything alright?” Jiro raised an eyebrow as he waited for Saburo to say something.
Saburo let out a deep exhale, “Don’t tell Ichi-nii. Please, I’ll do like… the dishes for a week. Two weeks if necessary.” They desperately tried, willing to do it for a year.
Jiro furrowed his brows, then sighed. He patted their hair gently, reassuring, “I won’t tell. Don’t worry.”
“So, two weeks? Sure that-”
“For nothing.” Jiro interrupted, causing Saburo to stammer. He knew that his behaviour was nicer than usual, which was confusing to them.
Saburo wrinkled their nose, “Who are you and what did you do to my brother?” They walked a circle around Jiro before standing in front of him again.
He shrugged, “I’m just trying to be supportive.”
It was that slip up that made Saburo very much realise that he might be more on the right track than they anticipated. Their eyes widened, taking in how Jiro was looking at them, holding a warm and unconditionally loving smile. It almost pulled tears out of them, but they pushed it away by swallowing deeply.
“Can you keep a secret?” Saburo’s voice had started shaking, nervousness all across their body.
Jiro nodded, zipped up his mouth with his hand, handing the imagery key to Saburo. Saburo accepted it with a trembling smile.
“I-I don’t think I’m a boy.” Saburo stuttered in a whisper, but Jiro heard it regardless.
There it was. Saying it out loud for the first time was so much more terrifying than saying it online, where they usually had no fear. It felt terrible, genuinely. It made them want to curl up into a ball and forget it ever happened. They were too scared of Jiro’s answer, whatever comes next.
At this point, Saburo’s ears were ringing as well as their vision was blurred by tears, so it wasn’t until they felt two arms wrapped around them it brought them back to earth. “That’s fine. I’m glad you told me.” Jiro mumbled, causing Saburo to sob a little louder.
A deep shaky exhale brought Saburo back to their senses. It was fine, they were safe. Jiro wasn’t mad, didn’t laugh or reject them. He was glad, that’s… nice. They were finally taking in the feeling of warmth that Jiro gave them with this hug. They rarely hugged each other, even if they did Saburo thought this was the kindest one yet.
Jiro held Saburo for a while, patiently waiting for when they had calmed down enough to speak. “Thank you.” Saburo sniffled, finally letting go. They quickly wiped the tears and moved their bangs more into their face, hoping to hide the red stains across their eyes a little.
Jiro ruffled their hair, immediately messing up the attempt of hiding, “Of course, dumbass. You’re my sibling. Oh, or sister?”
Saburo chuckled, “I’m not sure. I feel like a girl, but not entirely. I don’t mind bro and stuff either, but I just feel really happy with she and they.” they expressed vividly with hand motions, trying to return to a more casual state than the emotional mess they were currently on the inside.
“Does anyone else know?”
They shook their head, “Only some people online. I didn’t really have anyone to tell and I wasn’t sure what you and Ichi-nii would think of it. I’d be terrified if Ichi-nii would think I’m a disappointment or even kick me out of the Buster Bros and that when you found out you’d be mad and mocking and immediately running to him and-”
“Why would I mock you?” Jiro stopped their rambling.
Saburo bit the inside of their cheek, “I thought you’d find me weird.” They pouted, processing that Jiro maybe wouldn’t actually do that.
Jiro flicked his finger against their forehead. “Ouch! What was that for?!”
“For thinking I’d think you’re weird for something like that! I already find you a weirdo for only sitting behind those damn computers.” He poked their forehead a couple more times, hoping that the fact of Jiro wouldn’t mind them being trans at all would actually stay in Saburo’s brain.
Saburo laughed, before slapping Jiro’s hand away, “I guess my calculations were off.”
“Damn right they were.”
Saburo cautiously stepped forward, going in for another hug, “Just don’t tell Ichi-nii yet, but… you’re a good big bro.” The words were muffled against Jiro’s sleeve.
“Fuck yeah, I am! Also, you’re a great lil’ sis.” Jiro rubbed against Saburo’s arm before tightening the embrace.
“Jiro!” Saburo called, knocking on his door violently.
“Stop bothering me!” He yelled back, not opening the door.
Ignoring his request, Saburo pushed the door open to see Jiro with guitar on his lap tingling around.
“Saburo! If I’m not saying come in, don’t fucking enter!!” He sneered as he threw the closest pillow at her.
Slapping it down in defence, she sighed, “Like hell I care! Try and be useful for once and come help me.” She waved a small eyeliner pencil around. It was when Jiro took his headphones off that he also noticed that Saburo was wearing a white skirt with a yellow sweater.
“Why would I know how to do eyeliner?!” Jiro titted, putting his guitar down.
She rolled her eyes, “Don’t lie, I saw you wearing eyeliner on Christmas when we helped Ichi-nii.” she picked up and threw his own pillow back at him.
Jiro caught the pillow single-handedly and placed it neatly back on the bed. Approaching Saburo, he snatched the pencil and walked past her. Saburo skipped after him with a smile.
Jiro entered the bathroom and was met with a mess of a sink, containing dozens of used makeup wipes and products that he had never seen before. He stammered.
“I want to tell Aniki by just… showing him myself,” Saburo mumbled shyly as she picked up the wipes and threw them away, “I was wondering if you could like, help me. Eyeliner’s hard.” She frowned.
Jiro continued looking around the room, noticing the extensional pigtails and skirt hung where normally the towels would be. “Just a wing?” Jiro asked, turning back to her.
“Can you do that?”
Without replying, Jiro popped off the cap with his mouth and held it between his teeth as he grabbed Saburo’s face. She closed her eyes and a highly focused Jiro made two small wings. After two swift movements, Saburo could feel his hand leaving. “Done.” he said as he took the cap out of his mouth.
She turned around to the mirror, standing on her toes to look up close. “They’re uneven.” she nagged.
“Liar,” Jiro grunted as he joined looking at Saburo’s reflection, “They’re as even as you’re going to get them.” he responded as he noticed that indeed, they were slightly off. “Now let’s get these extensions on you.”
“Oh, I can do that mys-”
“Do you want my fucking help or not?” Jiro said sassily, holding each of the tails.
Saburo just laughed, not denying his offer.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He held the pigtails up at different heights to have Saburo choose what she thought was best. He clipped them on and turned Saburo around to face her reflection.
“Looking good.” Jiro said as he presented Saburo to the mirror, watching her smile grow bigger.
Sudden fear hit her, thinking that the outfit could make it all worse. “Can you tell Aniki?” Saburo suddenly exclaimed, grin dropping as well.
Jiro shook his head, “I think it’s better if you say it. I can tell him you have something to share, though.”
Saburo nodded, “I’d prefer that, yeah.”
“Aniki, can you sit down for a moment?” Jiro asked, watching Ichiro in the kitchen making dinner.
Ichiro immediately noticed the serious tone, so he turned off the stove and walked over, “What’s up?”
“Just, sit down for a moment.” Jiro repeated, exchanging glances to the stairs, where Saburo was standing on top of, waiting for the signal to come down.
Ichiro crashed on the couch, looking up to Jiro with a slight worry.
“Saburo has something to share with you. Saburo’s very nervous about it, so you better be kind.” Jiro explained, not knowing what else to say.
“Sure… what is it?” Ichiro raised an eyebrow, very much confused. Not only because Jiro and Saburo never were cooperating like this, just the situation overall felt unusual.
“Saburo? You can come down!” Jiro yelled, soon hearing the thumps of the stairs. Ichiro sat up more, exchanging glances between Jiro and Saburo who had just reached the last step.
“C’mere,” Jiro whispered, with a smile, encouraging Saburo to come more forward and that there wasn’t much to fear. Saburo took small steps to stand next to Jiro, who held her by the shoulders for comfort if not protectiveness.
“Ichi-nii, I’m a girl!” Saburo squeaked, the confidence that was intended overrun by the nerves and the unfortunately timed voice crack.
The next few seconds were dead quiet, Saburo was staring directly at Ichiro, who was keeping up a poker face. He was clearly still processing it, but it didn’t help Saburo’s nerves.
“Aniki,” Jiro said, hoping to encourage a response or at least wake Ichiro from what seemed to be a deep train of thoughts.
Ichiro blinked a few times, “Right,” he replied firstly, having too much of a hard time deciding which words would be the most appropriate ones. He stood up instead, reaching out to move the bangs out of her face to see that tears were messing up her eyeliner. “Hey,” Ichiro finally said, wiping the tears away, “I’m proud of you.”
Saburo looked up at him, tears streaming down faster, mostly because of relief, but also because of happiness. “Are you n-not mad?” She choked out.
“Oh, come here,” Ichiro said as he pulled her into a hug, “I would never be mad about this. I’ll always love you, alright? You’re our little Yamada.”
Saburo couldn’t contain any emotion anymore. She cried a little harder, arms tight around Ichiro’s waist. Soon enough she waved her hand, signalling for Jiro to join too as he had been on the side tearing up a little as well.
“Thank you,” Saburo stuttered, “Both of you.”