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It was a quiet evening. Lazily you laid on your bed, scrolling through the thousands of unread phone messages from today. Or rather - that's what you expected to do.
Surprisingly there actually were none, not even in the discord server you had become so attached to.
"No new messages from the server huh?", you remarked, a small part of her hurting at this realization.
Maybe they were all busy today? But still… not a single notification…
Something ain't right.
Making up your mind you walked downstairs to read the newspaper instead. That so-called 'newspaper' was just an Ed Sheeran fangirl magazin actually. Everytime you read it, it somehow felt special. In combination with his music even more. Almost as if he was standing in your room, staring at you quietly.
Taking your magazin upstairs you flipped to the front page and began reading.
There it hitted you.
On the page was a picture of Ed striking a sexy pose, the corpses of your friends displayed in the background.
Your friends.
Dead.
Killed by Ed.
A tear escaped your eye, but your crying abruptly stopped upon hearing a sweet voice gently singing up. A voice so familiar-
Throwing all your thoughts out of the window you turned to the source and indeed - THE Ed Sheeran stood in YOUR room, singing 'Shape of you'.
"I'm in love with the shape of you~" he ended and stepped closer to you. Gently he nuzzled his nose into your neck and repeated the last sentence.
"And I am too, my beloved orange loverboy" you replied, moving your arms around him and pulling him closer to your body.
This can't be real now can it? But it feels so familiar. Is this really the first time of visiting you? Not wanting to think further about this you simply enjoyed his warmth. At least until certain pictures popped up in your mind again.
"I am in love with the shape of you, my sweet Bread Sheeran... but you have to stop this. This isn't you…" you started and searched for eye contact with him.
Oh your love for him was endless, but murdering your friends out in the open like that? He could have at least showed a little effort in trying to hide the bodies.
Bread Sheeran avoided eye contact with his lover furiously. Instead looking at everything but you. Everything but the eyes of the person where he lost himself so many times in. Now staring at the floor he spoke up:
"They turned you against me."
Confused, you looked at him, but his expression deemed to be unreadable.
"I...I don't understand-"
"They turned you against me, so I killed them. I ripped of their limbs one by one by one by one-
Bathing in their screams of agony."
Now turning to face you, his expression was cold. A calculating glare in his glowing yellow eyes.
"You would never betray me right?"
Betray? Him? What has gotten into his head suddenly? Or rather what hasn't-
"I-I-"
"I ASKED IF YOU WOULD BETRAY ME. ANSWER ME FAN 8006541.", Dark Sheeran yelled at you, shaking your petite body roughly by the shoulders. Your head swayed forth and back just as rough, a feeling of dizziness taking over.
"Please- I beg of you. Stop. I would never betray you my Ginger Jesus-.", you replied her voice sounding more and more strained.
And well, what you said wasn't even a complete lie though. You loved his music after all and it surely was to die for, but right now that Sheeran? He was scaring you. This wasn't your beloved and overly attractive Ginger Jesus you normally saw. No, this was something...darker. Chucky Sheeran. One of his secretly hidden alter personas. You always knew he had a split personality, but up until now you always thought this side was just a myth. A joke some hipsters in the internet made up to scare people away from him-
Nevertheless there was no way back anymore.
Chucky Sheeran was a danger to society. A danger which has to be taken out.
Looking around the room you searched for a weapon while playing along with Sheerans antics.
"Oh we will have so much fun~
Now that I know you won't betray me we can be together forever. A new addition to my harem of foxes. I always knew that we redheads should stick together. The devil may have taken our souls- but who said we can't take souls back? We just have to try and try and try and try. Who cares if a few worthless humans die?" Sheeran rambled, completely overjoyed by his fox lovers confession.
Panicky you looked around and searched faster. You wanted to end this so badly. How long till he finds out that you are not actually fox colored? Or even worse - that there actually exist different types of foxes like the polar fox.
Your eyes stopped. A glass of purified water. That's it. You always knew it was handy to have one standing around. You never knew when you would need them after all.
"You're right my love. They're only jealous that our beautiful color can be found in rainbows while theirs only in dirt~", you lied, keeping him entertained.
Only a few more inches-
Finally being close enough to the holy water, you gave everything you had into your kick against the cupboard. The glass fell, the content spilling above Dark Sheeran.
Immediately you was released from his embrace, terrible screeching sounds filling the room
.
"YOU LIAR. Y̸͕͍̓̓O̵̘̓̈́̋͂͝Ŭ̵͕͕͘ ̵̛͎̜̽̏̚W̸̗͎̗͈̅́͘͜Ḣ̸̠͒O̷̘͑̈́̈́͊̀͝R̸̰̜͙͌̽̒̃͜͠ͅḘ̶̳͛ͅ. Į̴̝͕̱̯̺̹̌̔́̕͘ ̷̨̙͕̺̮̖̦͈̃̆̈́̅͐W̸͖͙̒̎̂̎̍̉̕͜ͅḬ̶̤̲̠̲͎͈̠̭̺̋̌̇̚͝͝L̷̡̢̲̺̳̠͂̿̈̐ͅL̷̯̿̅̄̉̀͒̄̓̊ ̴̢̨̟̰̰͍̅͊̃̓͛̎́K̶̡̛͙͚̟̥̥̯̮̪̺̈́͗̌̓̏̓̒I̸͓̘͌̑͗L̸̜͍͙̔̓L̸̡̡̘͈̞͖̥͈͆̐̚ ̸̠͍̦͉͚̩̎̓Y̴̨̢̙͉̘͔̭͇̬̍̍͒͊͑͑͂͜͝͠Ō̸̢͈̭ͅǗ̷̼̗͍͝ I̵̢̧̡̨̡̥̼͇̭̲̫͓̖͂̈́̈̋̐̏̓̕̚ ̴̥̓̒̅̒̀̍̅̕W̸̨̰͇͖̖̫̲̙̙͚̱̰̞̮̱̩̹͋̎̈̓̆̃̌͘̕I̷̛͔͚͐́̋̒̄̓͋͋̐̕͝͝͠ͅL̶̜̠̹͔͙̟̖͂̄̌̓͜ͅL̷̖̖̞̬̟̰̫̾̆̃̀͋̎̽͛̔̇͒̎̀̏͛͌͒̇́̔͘͘͜ ̴͉̜̱̔͊̆́͝Ķ̵͕͕̺̥̝̜̘̣̗̙̺̲̼͍͙̑͗̾́̾̓̕̕̕͝͝ͅÍ̴̙̼̜͖͍͚̩̦̜͈̗̾̈͐̆͗̏̇̅̈́́̋̉͘Ļ̷̨̡̼̜͎̝͖̘̦̙̞̻͇̰̠͈͂̐̿͌̾͂̈́̈́̕͜͠͝͝͠͠L̸̡͙̖͉̠̈̍̾̓̕ ̵̯̤͓̖̌̏́̅͗͗͌͛̿͋͌̕͘͠͠Y̸̡̧̲̩͉͚̳̫͉̱͈̼̺̬͖͎̘̖̺͌̇͐̑̉̈́̓͐͋̿̍̂͐̕ͅƠ̸͕̄̐͆͒͊̏̾́͂͑̍̎̓̎̆̑̈́̚͠Ū̵̡̬̟̘̗͕̹͖̠͇̪̲̺͉̖͔̮̳͎̂͗͒̓̔̽̐̃̄̆̚͠͝. I̵̧̧̮͎͉̥͓̫̻͕͚̻̝͇̺͋̈́̐͋͒͌̎̉̅͛̇͊͊͊͆̿͛̌̄̑̈́͐̈́̿͠͠͝͝ ̷̛̰̺̫̒͛͂̇͐͂͛͑͝W̷̨̧̰͖̥̗͖̭̲̦̘̯̻̥̼̋̉̉̊̔͐͑̊̇͐̿̕͜͜ͅİ̴̡̧̗͇̤͕͉̩͖̱̮̦̖̯̼̠̮͔͍̭̩͕̰͔͕̳̙̪̗̤͖̗͕͇͍̞͎̭̺͋͂̓̊̾̂͐̆͑͋̽̎̀̃͌͐͆̓̓̎͆̾̔̈́̎̈͛̕͘̚͜͝͝ͅĻ̵̧̛͖͎̞͉̙̮̻͒̑̏͐̑͆̏̐̆̈͋̒̂̃̿͐͛̋͛͊̈́̔͛̓̿͝͠͠͝Ļ̵̧̢̹̹̠̰̜̯͙̲̖͖͉̺͓̹̱̘̱̹̰͉̲͍̙͒̈́͂̿̓͌͆̌̈́̕͘͝͠͝͠ ̸̛̞͎̭͖̂̽̈́̐̈́̔͊̿̂͌́͑̌̑͊̋͗̈́̂̏͋͂͊̔̊̏̕Ķ̴̖̲͍̼͍̭̂̾Į̷͓̞͓̰͇̬͈̠̣͖̝̙͍͕͉͙̺̒͐̋̉͑͊̎͐̄̃͆͂̑͋̀́̎̈́̒̄̚͠Ļ̷̢̨̧̭̖̜͇̮̲̩̮͚̼̮̱͕͚͔̗̻̝̠̔̏̂͂̅̓̎͒̊̽̔͗̊̏̎̑̋͊͂͆̎́͌̈͋̈́̽̚̕͘͝͠͠͠L̷̛̪̞̭̙̰̉̔̇̒̌͗̇͛̂͒̍́̾̊̆̓̔̃̆̾͆͊̊̆̿̅̈́̀̅̿̂͘̕̕͝͝͝͝͝ ̷̧̡̡̛̛͈̺̤̮͎͖̦͕̻͔̪̲̖͓̝̗̘̘̊̊̓̒̾̄̇̃̉̍̌̿͛̎̎̉͗̏͊͗̂̅͋͌̿̑̈́̚͠͝Y̷̭̰̹̣̻̙̏̓̃Ŏ̴̧͉̹̪̬̞̗̰͆͊͘Ư̷̧̛̻̻̦̖̄͊͋͋̏̈́̾͆̏̌̄̈̈͒̆̍͌̇̑́̏̌̓̔̑͌͆̄̅̌̏̃͘̕͘͠͝͝ͅ.
Knife in hand he aimed for your heart,,, screaming while striking for you. You dodged as elegantly as you could, your head still spinning from earlier. The knife didn't miss you completely as result, a scratch being left by Dark Sheeran on your stomach. You flinched and took out another emergency ration of holy water from your cupboard. Throwing it at him, his cries intensified. His multiple layers of alter personas were now hearable through the overlapping of voices from all ranges. Making one last attempt to launch at his former lover, you quickly responded by holding out your cross against him.
"Begone demon."
Incredible noise for a second, then silence. You were left alone in the room, Sheeran nowhere to be seen.
Was it over? No...I don't think so.
Defeated, you sighed and collapsed onto the floor. Whatever that thing was- the world could never be safe from it. We should have never allowed it to rise to so much power in the first place. Completely exhausted, you shutted yout eyes, letting the sweet embrace of rest take over you.
'Obama, you with your magic unicorn rainbow powers. Save us from this demon. Save our world.'
And with that you finally fell into well deserved slumber.