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This was the sound of them hitting rock bottom. The sound of them crashing and burning in every way possible. And it started over some stupid book. Jess didn’t want to go to this dumb party anyway. Yet he and Rory had a fight over it — he didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to sit there talking to ten, twenty jerks that he already knew. Rory was the one who pushed him to it — Rory was the one who believed in him time and time again. Rory was the one who pushed him to send this book to a publisher. Who convinced him to sit at the dining room table of their small one room apartment and write night after night, exchanging sweet moments in silence to moments where he hunched over the table — unable to think of what came next in a story. She was there to help him prepare books for the indie bookstores in the area. She was the one…
There’s always a beginning, a middle, and an end. There’s always a way for you to write your way out of tough spots. At least that’s what he thought. That’s what he was supposed to think… If Rory didn’t believe in him he wouldn’t be sitting here. Yet there was a lot going on inside his mind. Fights they had, conversations they never had. Things they were meant to share. Each memory was one he wanted to remember forever. Ones that seemed to stop in time.
“I didn’t pin you to be a romantic.” Rory said. Wrapping her arms around her new husband. He rolled his eyes fondly,
He would admit that usually he wasn’t a romantic, was never one to go out of his way to do things like this. But right now as he sat in the kitchen, the lights of the city streamed in lightly. He’s smiling as the two of them are dancing. He spins her, as she laughs against his chest coming back into her. “I’m not, except when it comes to you.” He said booping her nose gently. She scrunches her nose and at that moment — he’s in love.
That was their first night as a married couple. She was still in the slip from her wedding dress and he had on the white shirt and black pants from his tux. Her wedding dress dangling over a chair and his tux jacket on the same spot. They had a small ceremony. A small part, nothing like the one they had currently getting prepped to go to.
He had brought it up weeks ago, brought up that his label and publishers all wanted to throw him one to celebrate a number one on the bestseller list for the New York Times. It was big, and while he wanted to celebrate, he wanted to make sure his wife was on board with it first.
“I don’t want to go to this dumb party.”
“Then WHY Are you going??”
“Because YOU ASKED ME TO.”
“I thought you would say you wouldn’t go. You’d sit here and we could — we could sit here. And start over. Like we were meant to! I want a quiet night at home … with my husband on the night before my FUCKING BIRTHDAY.” She yelled as she sat on the couch. Rory had never been one to curse. She had a classy way behind what she did. She was grown up on sugary foods and sweet movies. DIDN'T usually have a negative bone in her body.
“Rory. I’ll be here for your birthday. Like I promised. Like I swore to do in our vows.” He finished. In their vows he promised better or worse he’d be there. And she promised — vowed the same thing.
“I’m going to bed. Enjoy your party.” She said standing up and making her way to their room. Closing the door behind her.
He looked at the door again, wishful thinking that maybe just maybe she’d open the door and they could try this again. Hopeful that they could restart the god awful week they had. First they got news that the adoption clinic they were looking at weren’t looking for new clients, then they got news their application for a bigger apartment had been denied. Rory wanted nothing more than to have a family. Have kids they could read a book to. They had this discussion a few times, each time they thought it was time. But each time, this right was denied for them.
Boxes of unused pregnancy tests lined the inside of the drawers. Each one ready to be used. As soon as they were ready to try again. He wasn’t sure why those were the two words that drifted through his head. But here they were…
Try again.
Try again.
Try again.
When you skid your knee after falling off a bike, it’s “try again” when you can’t get an answer right on the math homework it's “try again.” He doesn’t know what being persistent gets him. But as soon as an answer is present feel free to tell him. Tell it out and make it clear.
This was supposed to be a start for new chances. A new place to live away from the chaos that the place they were used to could bring. Now he loves Stars Hollow. Loved the close knit vibes, but at the same time… everyone would know that something was happening. And maybe that wasn’t what Rory wanted, maybe she wanted things to be normal. A new normal.
Instead though — they were having this argument. Having this fight. This fight over a party he didn’t want to go to. She said that she didn’t want to go, and that he could go without her. But he didn’t want to go without her. She was his ride or die. Bonnie and Clyde throwing caution to the wind. They were everything and he knew this… hoped she knew this…
This was it, a moment eight months in the making… from getting the ring. To getting Lorelai’s permission. To trying to contact Christopher which was … a lot harder than it sounded, phone calls to a visit to his current place of residence. But all of the stuff would be worth it when and if she said yes. Before He knelt on one knee he tapped on her shoulder.“Lorelei Gilmore. forever doesn’t seem long enough anymore. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?” He asked, looking up at the brunette with the most stunning blue eyes he had ever seen.
Her eyes were the kind that could move anyone to being shocked and standing amazed , they were the kind of eyes that were so deep and blue he could dive right in. The ones that could bring sailors to their death simply by a song from the beautiful siren that was Rory Gilmore. She sat, speechless as she stood. In front of the very place they had met. “I — yes… yes.” She nodded after a moment. The hallmark kind of ending that would make any cheesy rom com fan tear up.
He looked through the little photo album his mom had prepared for them — it was another new hobby. Another new thing that flowed through and he had a feeling it would move on within the next month. It was nice to have it and hold it for now though. He looked at the photos. Each memory had something old attached. Tickets for their first movie here, a photo or two here and there. It was everything and more. And as it sat on the center table as he looked through it. All he knew — he had to make things right with Rory. He messed things up before, he wasn’t going to do it again. If he didn’t believe in her, in who she was right now… he wouldn’t have stood in front of all their friends. He wouldn’t have announced that this was the life he chose. This was the one he couldn’t bear to lose. He wouldn’t be there worrying about how to fix things. He was not the man his father was, and would never be that man
His father was the kind who ran, who was terrified of everything. So he left. Ran from the life he had neglected to a place that was seen as sunnier, brighter. And while he should have been pissed off — he understood. But he also made the promise that he would never become that man. Would never be the one that left. Because he knew he had something to lose.
Jess sat, tapping his foot against the wooden floor. Rubbing his temples as he looked at the door. He needed to make this right.
“Hey. Ror... Do you mind if I come in. I need to apologize.” He said as he closed the door behind him