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Hyunjin wobbled to the kitchen, arms aching from the weight of the heavy sacks filled with groceries. He sighed in relief when he set them down. After some lazy stretching, he hunched over and took out the items.
Suddenly, Hyunjin heard a gleeful squeal, but before he could turn to see who’d sneaked up on him, someone threw his arms around him. He hugged Hyunjin tightly from behind and rested his cheek on Hyunjin’s shoulder.
“Finally, you’re back.” The distinctive, deep voice which murmured those words revealed who it was. If it’d been anyone else, Hyunjin would’ve shaken them off with a half-hearted whine. But it wasn’t anyone. It was Felix.
“Did you miss me?” he whispered and held his breath in wait for an answer, one which he eagerly hoped would be yes.
“Of course I missed you! I haven’t seen you since last night,” Felix complained, and even though Hyunjin couldn’t see his face, he knew Felix was pouting. He could hear it. The image of those heart-shaped lips, round and chubby like a chick, was vivid in his mind.
“You were still asleep when I left for grocery shopping this morning. I’m sorry, baby.”
Baby.
The pet name rolled off of Hyunjin’s tongue too casually. His heart cracked anew because Felix showed no reaction. He supposed it was because Seungmin and Jisung called him that for fun, too. It was a thing between the four of them. It meant nothing. Still, he couldn’t help but feel hurt. Even the one time he’d uttered it with the utmost affection, Felix had ignored it. He’d hurried away with a poor excuse but stayed long enough for the pale tint of pink on his cheeks to speak for him. However, Hyunjin hadn’t understood it.
“You went grocery shopping without me? How offensive, Hwang Hyunjin,” Felix said and released Hyunjin. There was a scowl on Felix’s pretty face, and it didn’t suit him. Hyunjin would do anything to replace it with Felix’s smile, which was, without doubt, the most beautiful view.
“I didn’t have the heart to wake you! I swear I wanted to fetch you, but-“ Hyunjin tried to explain, only to get cut off by an excited Felix who discovered what Hyunjin had bought for him.
“That’s everything I need for brownies and cookies!” he exclaimed, arms full of those particular items.
“I forgive you,” he giggled and fished out the remaining stuff from the sacks. He put them in their specific places, a smile plastered on his face the whole time. Hyunjin helped, all while entranced by Felix’s radiating brightness.
“Thank you, Hyunjinnie,” Felix said when they finished and pulled Hyunjin into a hug. Hyunjin hummed in delight and closed his eyes. He loved when Felix got clingy with him. Felix liked skinship, something that had its ups and downs because, when he was touchy with the other members, Hyunjin hated it. Only when Felix did skinship with him was Hyunjin the happiest that Felix was a natural cuddle bug.
“There’s no need to thank me,” Hyunjin told Felix, eyes still shut.
“Still, I should,” Felix answered and pulled away to Hyunjin’s dissatisfaction. When Felix chuckled at him, Hyunjin discovered he was sulking like a child. He cleared his throat and tried to run a hand through his tied hair. It was an unfortunate attempt at playing it off cool.
“I didn’t know you liked hugs. I thought you weren’t very fond of skinship,” Felix said, his head tilted to the side and his eyebrows raised. Hyunjin snorted and mumbled that he indeed wasn’t fond of skinship, but he couldn’t help how the corner of his lips tilted upwards in a foolish grin as he told such a lie.
Felix also smiled regardless of Hyunjin’s answer, eyes crinkling at the corners. Oh, how Hyunjin loved that smile.
“I only like your hugs,” Hyunjin revealed, catching himself and Felix by surprise. He couldn’t believe he’d let those words leave his mouth.
“You only like my hugs?” Felix asked in disbelief but with a hint of comprehending as a gleam flashed his pretty eyes.
“Um, yeah, because they’re so sweet and warm. Uh, I mean, I like back hugs, you know, and I think I prefer to initiate skinship.” What was he saying? He should’ve kept his mouth shut and not let more bullshit leave it, but here he was, rambling things that made little sense because he’d admitted he only liked Felix’s hugs. Hyunjin wanted to bang his head on the fridge.
Felix said nothing, and Hyunjin didn’t dare open his mouth again. Although he couldn’t look at Felix and therefore focused on the floor, he sensed Felix’s gaze. It burned holes into him.
The silence that followed was torturously long. Hyunjin searched for an escape route, but there were none. He should do something but, instead, Felix made the first move. He took Hyunjin’s hand and tugged it towards himself. Confused, Hyunjin let the smaller guide him closer.
Felix beamed up at him, his freckled cheeks flushed. He said, “You can have all my hugs.”
Hyunjin’s face reddened, probably becoming as red as Felix’s. His heart was flipping inside his chest, and his mind was malfunctioning. He loved Felix’s offer, but Hyunjin knew he couldn’t have all of Felix’s hugs. There were six other guys in their group. Felix could hug them whenever he wanted to.
“Would you stop hugging everyone else for me?” Hyunjin couldn’t help but ask, and the lovely, shy smile on Felix’s face faded in an instant. Not that Hyunjin had expected anything else, but the sturdy pang that hit his chest hurt. It was as if a force of the tension-filled air between them had shot him.
“What if I say I’m willing to try?” Felix said, and Hyunjin thought this was Felix’s way of contesting him. Yet, a part of him sensed a much deeper meaning behind those words. He didn’t dare dig into that any further, though. If Felix wanted to play this game, Hyunjin wouldn’t chicken out. Not this time.
He stepped forward, almost closing the gap between them. They were so close. So close that the shaking breath Felix released put a brief pressure on Hyunjin’s lips, causing them to tingle with want.
“Are you?” Hyunjin persisted, and Felix swallowed hard. Hyunjin’s eyes followed the movement. As if he was in a trance, his gaze stuck to the way Felix’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.
“Yes,” Felix whispered.
“Prove it,” Hyunjin whispered back. His trembling voice didn’t match the strength in his arms as he gripped Felix’s slim waist and pressed him close. Felix yelped in surprise and put his hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders to steady himself.
“How?” Felix wondered, but Hyunijn couldn’t say because of the lights that reflected in Felix’s wide eyes like tiny sparkles as he stared up at Hyunjin. It was an understatement to say they were distracting.
“I’m sure you’ll come up with something,” was all Hyunjin offered. He didn’t know whether to coo or smirk at how Felix whined in objection.
“Okay. Challenge accepted,” Felix said, surrendering. He rolled his eyes but didn’t bother to hold back from smiling. For Hyunjin, it was an endearing gesture. His heart fluttered like the wings of the frantic butterflies he often found in his stomach.
Felix shifted his arms from Hyunjin’s shoulders. Before Hyunjin could even think of feeling disappointment, Felix surprised him by locking his arms around his neck for leverage as he pulled him down into another hug.
“You better get used to this then,” Felix mumbled, lips brushing Hyunjin’s ear. He emphasized this by squeezing Hyunjin tightly enough to cut his airflow.
“Gladly,” Hyunjin wheezed and squeezed Felix back, though as gently as if the tiny waist in his hands was glass.
Felix laughed, and this time, let go. He left Hyunjin with nothing but the fading warmth of his touch ghosting over his body. It was unfair that Felix could walk away unbothered while Hyunjin had to hold onto the kitchen counter to keep his trembling legs from failing him.
From that moment on, Felix proving he’d only hug Hyunjin became a challenge, as Felix liked to call it. It started pretty subtly. Felix stopped hugging others but remained touchy. He continued to hold and play with the members’ hands or swing an arm over someone’s shoulders. Eventually, he stopped with those things too. Hyunjin assumed Felix didn’t do any skinship with him, either, to avoid suspicion of what was going on.
Since Felix loved cuddles, it was evident that he’d start giving Hyunjin all of his hugs as promised, sooner or later. Hyunjin discovered he loved to be the victim of Felix’s affection much more than he thought. Hyunjin got Jeongin’s back hugs, Changbin’s massages and Seungmin’s cuddles. Felix was all over him, like a blessing from heaven. Sadly, this didn’t last for too long because, of course, someone noticed. And, of course, that someone was witty Han Jisung.
It was movie night, all of them huddled up together on the couch except for Chan and Felix. Chan was busy searching for the chosen movie, crouching in front of the TV as if he wouldn’t see if he sat on the couch, which earned him plenty of teasing for getting old. Felix was in the kitchen preparing some good stuff to munch on.
Hyunjin saved a spot for the younger by piling up pillows next to him, but when Felix came back with drinks and snacks, Jisung decided to strike.
“Yongbokkie, come here!” he begged and opened his arms. Felix laughed nervously and placed the things on the coffee table while secretly searching for Hyunjin. They locked eyes briefly, but it was enough for Hyunjin to understand. Felix wanted him to do something.
“No, Yongbok has to come to me,” Hyunjin said, and just as the words left his mouth, he cringed at what an awful attempt for diversion he’d made.
“And why’s that?” Jisung wondered, smirking. He leaned back and put his arms behind his head as if he prepared himself for a pleasant show.
“Because… he… must warm me! I’m freezing.” Hyunjin figured it wasn’t the best excuse to get Felix for himself, but it was the only thing he could come up with.
“We’ve enough blankets to warm you, don’t you think?”
“Body heat is the most effective way to warm another person, Han-ah. You and I should try it sometime. I’d love to heat you up with my body,” Minho said seductively and winked at Jisung, effortlessly shutting him up. Jisung’s face turned crimson, and he’d without doubt forgotten all about Felix. Minho had saved them from an embarrassing confrontation without even knowing it.
“Ew!” Jeongin shrieked, face scrunching up in a grimace.
“Get a room,” Changbin sighed.
Felix saw the opportunity and sneaked up to Hyunjin’s side. He sat down after pushing the pillows away and swung a leg over Hyunjin’s waist as he hugged him from the side. Hyunjin smiled to himself, but he was naïve to believe they’d get away that easily. Next to them, Seungmin had seen everything unfold from the beginning.
“Are you two dating or something?” Seungmin suddenly asked, and Hyunjin choked on air. He fanned his burning face with the hand that’d just a second ago drawn circles into Felix’s hip. Hyunjin wanted to smack Seungmin for ruining their nice and cosy moment with that question.
“Wow, where did you get that from?” Chan wondered out loud.
Everyone stared at them, waiting for some sort of explanation from Seungmin or some comment from Hyunjin and Felix.
“I’ve just noticed that they’ve been very touchy with each other lately, that’s why,” Seungmin answered with a nonchalant shrug.
“So what if we’re dating?” Felix inferred with a pout. It seemed like Hyunjin wasn’t the only unhappy one over the interruption. Felix snuggled closer and made sure they stayed locked together in the same position.
Meanwhile, Hyunjin was too busy freaking out to notice. He couldn’t wrap his head around how casually Felix could say that. If only they were dating, Hyunjin would’ve been the happiest man on earth, not dying inside over the wrong turn everything took. They would’ve never found themselves in this situation, to begin with.
“Are you dating or not?” Jisung inquired, wiggling out of Minho’s arms to lean in closer. Hyunjin huffed and had to use all of his willpower to not roll his eyes. Jisung was quite interested in their business, and it was starting to get on Hyunijn's nerves.
“Yes, we are.”
Hyunjin’s eyes widened to a point he feared they’d pop out of his skull. He’d just gathered himself enough to answer Jisung, no, when Felix’s words swung at him like a wrecking ball.
“What?!” Changbin shouted, startling poor Jeongin, who’d been resting his head against Changbin’s shoulder.
“I knew it! You owe me 20000 won,” Jisung exclaimed and jumped up from the couch. He pointed down at Minho, who looked defeated. Hyunjin didn't know if he should be more shocked over Felix's statement or the fact that Jisung and Minho had bet money on their relationship status. On one end, that explained why Minho interfered earlier when Jisung tried to expose them. On the other end, that meant they were aware of Hyunjin's feelings, which caused Hyunjin to desperately fight back the urge to scream, cry, and run around like a child.
“You guys made a bet -?” Seungmin cut himself off and shook his head in disbelief.
Hyunjin’s head whipped back and forth between his talking members. They all seemed so excited and supportive of the fake news while he couldn’t move a single muscle, much less utter a word. Hyunjin had frozen to his seat with a beaming Felix stuck to his side. He couldn’t understand why Felix had lied about them dating. If he was joking, he should’ve already said so. Or at least say it right now.
“That’s lovely,” Chan grinned and clapped his hands together as if they’d just decided on what to eat for dinner. “I’m so happy for you two, but there are some things we must talk about,” he added rather seriously.
“Of course, Channie hyung!” Felix answered cheerfully and looked up at Hyunjin, all smiles and shy giggles. His cuteness melted Hyunjin’s roaring heart, and as if everything wasn’t already more than enough to ruin him, Felix leaned in and pecked Hyunjin’s cheek. Hyunjin squeaked in shock, and his face once again burned. He was sure he’d never blushed this much before.
Oh, but why did he get the cutest cheek kiss instead of a revelation? Unless Felix wasn’t joking about dating… But that was the most unimaginable option of reasons. So, Hyunjin sat squeezed between Seungmin and Felix with a hurting head full of questions as his members enjoyed the movie.
Before he knew it, two hours had passed. Everyone except for Hyunjin, Chan and Felix lazily went to their respective rooms. The soreness after a long practice becomes too hard to bear late at night. However, Hyunjin wasn’t the slightest tired. His mind was buzzing, and his fingers twitched in restlessness. He needed to talk to Felix as soon as possible, or he’d go crazy.
Unfortunately, it turned out that Chan was in the line before him. He didn’t waste any time on getting to the point, but Hyunjin paid little attention to the speech their leader gave until he brought up a very awkward topic. Chan ranted about the importance of safe sex as unfazed as ever while Hyunjin wished nothing else but for the ground to swallow him. Even Felix was flustered for once tonight.
“Hyung, please stop! We get it!” Felix groaned.
“Alright, alright,” Chan laughed and ended the sex education by offering to clean up so they could go to sleep.
“It’s okay, hyung, we’ll clean up,” Hyunjin hurried to say before Felix could agree to Chan’s offer. Hyunjin tried to communicate with Chan through his eyes but probably only looked ridiculous. Thankfully, Chan still understood. He glanced between them as if trying to read the rising suspense but soon enough left. Hyunjin released a breath he felt like he’d been holding for ages. They were finally alone.
He cleaned up with the help of Felix under tense silence. Once they finished washing the last glass, Hyunjin spoke up.
“Why did you say that we’re dating?”
“Why did you ask me to stop hugging the others?” Felix retorted, leaving Hyunjin stunned. He wasn’t expecting Felix to bring up that instead of giving some kind of answer that could cool his fuming mind.
“You’re avoiding my question,” Hyunjin pointed out with hesitation, voice quivering even though he tried to keep it steady.
“I think you already know the answer because I’m pretty sure it’s the same as the answer to my question,” Felix replied. He was unaffected, unlike Hyunjin, who felt more confused than ever.
Hyunjin had to take a moment to think about the response to Felix’s question. When he replayed his awkward slip-up and possessive behaviour in his head from a few weeks back, right here in the kitchen, Hyunjin inwardly cringed. He was just a man in love. Of course, he couldn’t keep himself from requesting Felix to stop hugging the others, even though he didn’t have the right to demand such a thing. But how did this explain why Felix told their members they were dating? He didn’t understand, no matter how hard he tried to.
“Hyunjin?” Felix’s voice brought him back to reality. Hyunjin looked down at Felix, expecting to be met by an impatient little ball of sunshine, but all he saw were Felix’s pretty facial features in a relaxed state and that calm and loving gaze.
“I wanted you all for myself. I mean... What I’m trying to say is, I want you.” Hyunjin gathered enough courage to express the reason for his actions. That dangerous statement came out softer than he’d intended it to. It made Felix’s eyes light up as the most breathtaking smile Hyunjin had ever seen took over his face.
“Then I’m all yours,” Felix said.
“Yongbok-“
“I’m serious, Hyunjin. Aren’t you too?” Felix interrupted. He looked so sweet and genuine while he made Hyunjin go crazy with that simple comment.
Yes, I’m serious! Hyunjin wanted to shout. He wanted Felix to know that uttering that desire was the closest he could get to a proper confession, but all he could muster to let out was, “Oh.”
Felix laughed, a sound that could compare to delicately written music notes. He was stunning like this, crescent eyes shining bright enough to blind one.
“I’m not oblivious, Hyunjinnie. I’ve seen you staring at me too many times. Even when I don’t see you, I can feel your gaze. I have a sixth sense for stuff like that. Oh, and I’ve noticed how easily you get jealous, and I might’ve enjoyed your possessiveness a bit too much sometimes. Besides all that, this whole hug thing made it too obvious. Don’t worry, though. I do all of those things too. Do you know why?”
Every word knocked the breath out of Hyunjin repeatedly. He couldn’t believe what he heard. He couldn’t believe how he heard it. Felix’s smile had turned into a sly smirk. His deep voice was airy and so, so taunting. It was as if he made fun of Hyunjin for not understanding how obvious he’d been all this time while implying that he’d known of Hyunjin’s feelings. What did the last thing mean? Felix couldn’t possibly love him back, could he? No, that rhetorical question must’ve meant something else.
“I can see your wheels spinning up there,” Felix said, tapping the side of Hyunjin’s head. “Care to share?” he continued with a stare full of pure fondness. There was no mistake in that. So, what kept Hyunjin back from pouring his heart out?
“I just... I love you so much,” Hyunjin confessed. It was all he could say, nothing more, nothing less. There were thousands of things he’d always wanted to tell Felix, but he couldn’t grasp onto a single one of them right now, except his declaration of love.
“I love you too, Hyunjinnie. I’m the happiest when you’re by my side.”
Hyunjin didn’t know if he should cry or laugh, or both of them. Felix decided for him when he chuckled out of nowhere. Perhaps he felt as blissful as Hyunjin, who joined in. His heart thrummed merrily inside his chest as his laughter mingled with Felix’s.
“So, we’re dating? For real?” Hyunjin asked between uncontrollable giggles.
“We should go on a date tomorrow. Just to make sure,” Felix replied with a playful wink. “And buy some condoms,” he added a second later with a spot-on imitation of Chan’s voice.
Both of them burst out laughing again, and since they couldn’t seem to stop, it was a perfect excuse for Hyunjin’s red face.