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Though it's become a ritual at this point that you and Levi meet up every Friday for some late night Otaku sessions, you're still looking forward to it as much as you did when it first started becoming a thing. Especially since today, you'll watch a stream of Niconico Chokaigi where various cosplayers get to show of their costumes – a spectacle a true enthusiast just couldn't and wouldn't miss.
So though it might still be a little early, you prepare yourself. Getting ready might only mean slipping on some comfy pajamas – but since your feelings for Levi have been moving in a more romantic direction means you'll have to make sure that you'll wear the right comfy pajamas and look cute for him.
After tryharding for half an hour and trying on everything there is for you to try on, you decide on the sleepwear that makes you feel like he might like the best. Were you always like this or is this Levi making you act all crazy and lovey-dovey? You can't seem to recall or care really as you quickly clean up the mess you've made in the process of finding the perfect fit.
As if on cue, you hear a knock on your door just as you were about to finish.
"Come in!" You exclaim towards the door to whoever is on the other side though you have a hunch as to who it might be.
And to no surprise, as the door opens, the demon you were acting crazy about all evening steps in. "Here I am!" He states with a wide grin, reflecting just how happy he himself is for getting to spend this time with you, though of course he wouldn't admit that.
Casually, he let's himself plop down on your bed, reaching out for your laptop. He opens it up and looks up at you in disappointment. "The stream is about to start in ten minutes and you haven't even opened it up yet? What if they start earlier? How can you be prepared so little?" The bluehaired scolds you in his usual fashion and you sigh in reply, though you can't help but to smile.
You turn away from your wardrobe, finally closing it behind you now that everything's in order. "I know, I know. I should've done that, I'm sorry."
He looks up at you, being surprised that you didn't protest, meeting your eyes for a moment, before quickly averting his gaze again. A slight blush is spreading over his cheeks as he finally notices how adorable you look in your pj's. "W-whatever, you're lucky, they're on schedule. Quickly, come here, it'll start soon." He states, patting the space on his right to signal you to sit down.
You can feel yourself getting giddy as you place yourself next to him - close enough to feel the warmth radiating off of him but not so close that you'd touch. It's not even for him, really, but rather for yourself. You know that your feelings have progressed to a state where touching him would immediately give you butterflies and it would only make you fall for him even more. But he made it clear several times that you are his best friend. You don't want to ruin that for him. You know how hard it is for him to make friends, so if he doesn't clearly show interest, you're not going to act upon your urges. So you try your best to contain your feelings for him, trying to not make them flourish even more.
With the both of you settled down, the stream finally starts.
"Today there'll be a cosplay contest centered around Ruri-Chan! Aaaaaaah, I'm so excited! The best cosplay will win a signed DVD box! That's so cool, right?"
"Aaaaah, I'm jealous!"
For the next hour, the two of you simply chat away over the cool panels and the Ruri-Chan contest itself. After that, the male cosplay contest starts.
"Wow, that's daring. I mean, he wears it very well, though." You comment on a cosplayer that wears a very revealing costume, his complete upper body out for everyone to ogle over.
"Mhm."
Weird. Normally, he'd start talking about how well the costume is made or how he is envious about the amount of self-esteem that cosplayer must have to be able to wear something like that, yet he's awfully silent. For now, you try to ignore it, passing it up to him just not being as interested in this character.
"OH, look! A Henry cosplay! Wow, if they ever made new movie adaptions, he'd really fit the part, don't you think?" You ask him, setting up a trap, knowing fully well that he'd go of on a tangent on how there never ever should be another adaptation as they'd probably make it even worse as the first one.
But all you get is a disinterested nod. Okay, somethings definitely off. You press the space bar to pause the stream and search his face with a serious expression. Surprisingly enough, he doesn't even comment on you stopping what you both have been looking forward to.
"Levi?" You carefully adress him.
"Hm?" Is all that he offers you, his head resting on his hand, his eyes trained on nothing in particular.
This is very out of character. So much so that he has you worried. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah." He mumbles into his hand."
"You don't look like it. Levi, would you please look at me?"
Compliant yet hesitant, he faces you now, yet his eyes aren't meeting yours.
"Something's off. Please tell me what's up." You urge him once again.
"No, everything's fine. Let's continue watching." He answers, quickly facing the laptop again and pressing start.
Immediately, you pause again, to which you get an annoyed sigh.
"What's that about?" He snarls at you.
"We're not continuing before you tell me what's up."
"Fine. Then we're not watching." He states, crossing his arms over his chest.
You just look at him in disbelief for a moment. "Seriously?"
"Yes, seriously. Since there's nothing wrong, there's nothing to talk about. So I guess we just won't get to watch the stream."
You look at him completely bewildered. Levi passing up on cosplay content? Him not being overly vocal about his opinions? You NEED to get to the bottom of this. "Levi, would you please talk to me?"
He sighs and goes silent for a bit before speaking up. "How are those cosplayers so handsome? Why do I have to be such an ugly and disgusting shut-in good for nothing? Life's not fair."
So that's what this is about. You know that Levi has a horrible self-image but it still catches you off guard, yet you are relieved that he opened up. "You could've just told me from the beginning!" You carefully place your hand on his to get his attention. "Levi, hands down, you're way more handsome than the guys we've seen on stream earlier!" You reassured him, fully meaning what you said. He might not see it but he looks better than most models you've seen so far and you've felt that way even before you started having feelings for him.
He gives you a bitter smile. "I knew you'd say that. You know that you don't have to lie because you're my friend and you don't want to hurt my feelings. I can take the truth."
You sigh in response. "I'm not lying to you BECAUSE you're my friend."
"Really, it's okay. I'm grateful for you trying to spare my feelings, though."
"Levi-"
"I'm just an ugly NEET that doesn't deserve this kind of attention."
"Would you pleas-"
"I just don't get how it's fair that there are such handsome cosplayers out there and in the meantime, I get to look like this."
"LEVI, STOP." You order him. You hate using your pact like this but it's starting to frustrate you how he simply can't understand what you see in him.
Looking at you in shock, he blinks rapidly, trying to cope with what has just happened.
You take a deep breath to steady your voice. "Please, I wouldn't lie to you about something like that and deep down, you know that. You are good looking, you really are. You know I don't lie to you."
He looks at you wide eyed before adverting his gaze, clearly looking hurt. "Yeah, like you haven't lied about making a pact with me for Belphie." He himself doesn't know why he said that. If he could, he would take it back, but the self-destructive side of his brain is just too dominant right now.
Now it's your time to look shocked. Is he being serious? The two of you talked this through already in length. You wouldn't have thought he would go for such a low blow. "Are you being serious right now? Are you seriously bringing that up again? Is that really the path you want to go down?"
No. "Yes. You have lied to me before so you're not above doing that."
Ouch, that hurts. You're absolutely done with this situation right now. "You know what? I've lied. You are a disgusting NEET. There. That's what you wanted, right? Are you happy now?" Though it hurts you to purposely insult him, you don't know what to do with him anymore, this situation being hightly overwhelming for you. Of course you have witnessed him being anything but nice to himself but never to this extent.
"See, telling the truth wasn't so hard, now was it?" Though your words stung, a part of his brain was satisfied with getting its self degrading views confirmed.
But for you, this was the last drop. You are complete and utterly hurt by his words and you just want to be alone. The whole Belphie-ordeal was complicated enough and took it's toll on you as is so you don't need Levi guilt tripping you into feeling even worse.
"Get out." You tell him, barely audible, as you fight back your tears.
"What was that?"
"I said GET OUT!" You quickly muster up the strength to yell.
"Pft, fine by me." He adds before storming out of your room, making sure to close your door very audibly.
With Levi now finally gone, the tears quickly take over and you let yourself fall down on your bed, immediately hugging your pillow to your chest.
Why does he have to be such a jerk at times? You wanted to have a nice evening with him. Wanted to build him up when he needed it. Yet, here you are now. Alone. Hurt.
You spend what feels like ages crying until sleep finally seizes you.
- Levi -
He slams the door behind him and storms towards his computer chair, throwing himself into it.
"How stupid. Why did she have to lie to me like that?? Stupid normies. I'm a grown demon, I can take the truth!" He rants to himself while he opens up his social media, ready to write a post to vent about his feelings. "That's exactly why 2d is better! Ugh! Why was I so stupid to get my hopes up?"
Not thinking clearly, he clicks on his own social media feed instead of the text box and is immediately greeted by a picture of you and him that you posted last week and linked him in.
There he is, next to you, smiling widely, as the two of you do the 'v' heart pose.
He just stops in his tracks as he stares at the picture. Why can't every day be like that? It was so much fun. Levi, you and his brothers went to the arcade and Levi got to spend a lot of time with you alone as the others just couldn't keep up. Seeing you smile over him winning a plushie for you at the crane machine or you complaining over him always beating you in games made his heart swell up with pride.
Asmo uploaded more pictures of that day, didn't he?
Now obsessed with reminiscing about this past event, he clicks on his brothers Devilgram and sure enough, more pictures. As to be expected, most of the pictures were selfies the avatar of lust took that day but in the background, he can find you and him. Manically, he clickts through the pictures until one snap in particular catches his attention. It's you, fondly looking over at him as he was focused on the House of the Dead machine. You made sure to let him know that this was in fact imported from the human world and that you loved playing it as a teen.
Fuck. Now that he gained back the ability to think more clearly, he finally realizes what a jerk he was. Even if he can't accept what you were saying, you weren't lying. Of course you weren't. You weren't even lying back then with Belphie. At least not to him. You always had everyone's well being in mind and there he was, acting completely irrational. That's just how you were. That's why you were so goddamn important to him.
„Fucking hell...“ He mumbles to himself as he covers his eyes with his arm. „Why am I so messed up...?“
-
The next few days went by relatively eventless – well, eventless for the House of Lamentation, that is.
You were still hurt by Levi's words but you were finally at a point where you could admit that he didn't to it intentionally, yet, you couldn't get yourself to talk this over with him. Therefore, you spent the last dew days sulking. Now and then, you would spot Levi in the distance, stealing glances at you, his expression full of regret, but whenever he noticed, he'd quickly turn away, pretending to be busy.
After another one of these encounters, you sigh audibly.
„What's wrong, darling?“ You hear Asmo's sweet voice from behind you as he walks up to you. „You've been awfully silent the last few days. Having a lovers quarrel?“ Of course, nothing gets past him but him phrasing it like that has you blushing madly. Asmo giggles before grabbing your arm. „Y'know I'm only teasing. Come on, let's get your mind off of whatever's up! There's this one new limited edition coffee at Cafe Lament! Let's go get it!“
That didn't sound that bad. Getting to spend time away from home – other than school – sounds like a blessing. You smile at him widely as you give in into him pulling you along.
At the coffee shop, the two of you get the shadow caramel double espresso shot frappuccino and slide into one of the seat groups.
You take your first sip and are amazed at how perfectly the sweetness of the caramel mixes with the bitterness of the espresso. „Wow, this is amazing!“ You exclaim, smiling at Asmo with amazement.
„I know, right? Sooooo...“ He leans over his coffee, hand resting on top of the cup, a knowing grin on his face. „What happened?“
„What are you talking about?“ you ask him, pretending to be clueless.
„Between you and Levi.“
„I-I don't know what you're talking about.“ You quickly try to shake it off.
The demon opposit of the table begins giggling. „You're so cute when you try to hide something from me! Come on, I've seen Levi storm out of your room and slam his door behind him.“
Goddamnit. He literally knows everything that's going on. Damn him and his hyper-awareness. But maybe it's good to talk about it to someone and Asmo turned out to be a surprisingly good listener, often giving you the time of his day to listen to you rant. Without him further urging you, you try your best to recount the events of that day, obviously leaving out the details that would make you look like a lovestruck imbecile. „... And I just don't know how I could make him understand that he isn't ugly.“
„Hmmmmm, I see, I see...“ Asmo nods, his finger on his chin as he ponders on your retelling. „Levi has always had issues with his self-image but I agree, it has gotten a lot worse recently and I know exactly why.“
„Why though?“ You of course ask with genuine curiosity.
„I don't think I should tell you.“ He gives you a mischevious grin.
„Aww come on, Asmo! You can't just hint at knowing something like this and not tell me!“ you pout, hitting his arm playfully.
He giggles yet again. „It's quite obvious, isn't it?“
„No! No, it isn't! So tell me!“
„Hmmm, it's so clear to see, it's almost painful. I'm sure you must've figured it out by now.“
„Asmo! Pleaseeee!“
His ever present smile gets even wider as he leans in once again. „Fine. I just can't say no when you're being like that. Are you ready?“
You nod overly enthusiastic, the suspense almost killing you.
„He's envious, obviously.“
You look somewhat deflated, being disapointed in his 'big reveal'. „Yeah, d'uh, dummy, that's what I told you. He's envious that he isn't like those cosplayers.“
„Aaaah, sweety, you're so innocent. Yeah, he is envious of those cosplayers, of course, but not for the reason you think he is.“
„Could you please just be straight forward this time, Asmo? I really don't get where you're going.“
„Alright. But just this once. He is envious of them because he sees the way you look at them but not the way you look at him.“
Those words were enough to send you into overdrive. Wait. Does he mean that Levi likes you? No, that can't possible be. Plus, what does Asmo even mean by that? You're not looking at Levi any differently than any of the other brothers, right? You're blushing madly at his insinuation. „W-what do you even mean by that? I look at him normally.“ You pout.
„Yeah, and I'm ugly. Sweetheart, I could be blind and still notice how much you're crushing on him.“
Great. You've been found out. No reason arguing it now. „O-okay, fine. You're right. You've got me.“ You put your hands up in defeat, your face still tinted red.
Asmo giggles in response. „Of course I do.“
You roll your eyes in response. Typical Asmo. Not that you really mind because he sure as hell is helpful to you most of the time, even with his absurd amount of teasing. „... But what should I do to make him see what I see in him? He just won't believe me.“
„Lucky you! I've just recently gotten the perfect trinket for this kind of situation!“
„Great! What is it? What should I do?“
Asmo goes into great depth about what exactly it is that he has gotten and how it will solve your problem – possibly forever.
-
With the plan completely memorized, you walk over to Levi's room, Asmo's precious item safely stored away in your bag, ready to be used at any given time. You take a deep breath as nervosity washes over you. You can do this. You have to. Things can't go on like this. You were missing him and if you don't come clean, things will never get better between the two of you.
As you finally found your courage, you knock on the door.
„What's the secret phrase?“ You hear your favorite Otaku say from the other side of the door.
„The second lord...“ You start.
Levi hesitates before speaking up again, his voice shaking ever so slightly with regret. „... attempted to steal the Lort of Corruption's platypus, which could lay golden eggs...“
„... having incurred the wrath of the Lord of Corruption for his misdeed...“
„... it was ordered that the second lord would forever be dubbed the Lord of Fools... Come in...“
You sheepishly open the door and find Levi sitting in front of his PC. „Levi...“ Your voice comes out weakly, probably barely audible, as your heart drops into your stomach, the regret that has built up the last few days now fully hitting you.
„Close the door.“ He orders you, his tone somewhat stern.
„Uh, oh, yeah.“ You carefully close the door behind you before facing him again, barely managing to meet his eyes.
„We need to talk.“ Levi says, to your surprise, looking up at you with a serious expression. Something that you rarely ever see in the demon in front of you unless he needs to defend his favorite character from the countless haters.
You give him a weak smile. „H-hey, that's my line.“ you say as you hesitantly walk up to him and sit down on the floor opposite from him. „Levi, you really need to get some sitting options for guests.“ You mumble, hoping that this will loosen up the atmosphere in even the slightest bit.
„I hope that's not the only thing you want to say to me.“ He manages graces you with a small smile yet he still doesn't manage to fully relax with you being around.
You shake your head in response, giggling lightly. „No, no it isn't. There's quite a bit I want to tell you, actually.“
„Would you mind if I go first though?“
„Oh, uh, yeah, sure.“
He takes a deep breath and tries to collect himself. „... I'm sorry for being such a dick to you.“ He tries to sound as composed as possible though his voice betrays him towards the end of his sentence.
You look up at him in surprise. You weren't really expecting him to apologize first as he can be quite stubborn at times. „Oh, no, it's okay, I get it. You weren't trying to hurt me. I wasn't being very empathic either, I just somewhat lost my patience and I'm terribly sorry for that.“
He shakes his head. „You don't need to apologize. It was my fault that the situation escalated like it did. I know you weren't lying to me...“ He replies before a blush creeps up on his face. „... Though I really can't understand what it is that you are seeing...“ He adverts his eyes, scratching the back of his head bashfully.
Your chest fills with anxiety as you put your hand on your bag. Now is the time to whip out your secret weapon – the one thing that can change the whole dynamic between the two of you, hopefully for the best. „Actually, I can show you exactly what I am seeing...“
„Hmmm? How so?“ He asks curiously as he now takes his place opposite of you on the floor, feeling like it would be more appropriate to do so. After what has happened, he really doesn't feel like it is helpful to talk down to you – even if it's just in a physical way.
„Well, Asmo gave me this mirror...“ You say as you fish out said item from your bag. „He told me that if someone were to hold the mirror and another person were to look at their reflection, they would exactly know how they are seen to the person that is holding it. He originally got it because he wanted to be able to experience his own beauty through the eyes of others, though he was kind enough to borrow it to me...“
Levi gulps, a blush spreading over his cheeks. „...And this works?“
„I haven't tried it yet... I wanted to only do this with you.“
Levi softly says your name before enthusiastically nodding, his cheeks now even redder. „O-okay! Let's do this!“
Fully knowing that you will most definetely reveal all of your feelings to him with this, you hesitantly raise up your arm, mirror in hand, nervous energy running through your body as your heart thumps in your ears.
„W-WAIT!“ Levi puts his hands on your arm, stopping you from raising it even further to which you answer with a puzzled expression „G-give me a second! I need to mentaly prepare for this!“ He explains, his voice cracking with nervosity. He takes a few breaths, his eyes shut tight.
You carefully study him and you can see his pulse thrumming on his neck like mad. You feel somewhat bad making him go through this, him struggling with interactions as is, but what needs to be done simply needs to be done, there is no helping it.
He finally opens his eyes again and gives you a confident nod, yet his pusle visibly hasn't slowed down yet and his face is still bright red. „I'm ready.“
You start putting your arm up once again, shutting your eyes tight with nervosity as the mirror is facing him.
After a few moments of silence, you can feel yourself getting even more anxious. Great. He's weirded out. You slowly open your eyes to see Levi with his hand on his cheek, examining himself, as happy tears roll down his face. As you look at him, his eyes wander to you, a wide smile gracing his face as he sobs once. He softly says your name. „I-I'm so sorry about what I said to you! A-and thank you so much for this! I-I mean, I r-really don't know what to say, I-“ He stops himself, knowing fully well that he won't be able to express what he feels in words, so he simply flings his arms around you – a very rare gesture by the introverted man in front of you.
You get dizzy feeling him so close to you but it still makes you overly happy. Quickly, you lock your arms around him as well, feeling your own tears well up now. „I-I'm glad I was able to show you what I see...“
He burries his head in your neck, now sobbing violently, a few hiccups that you deem to be adorable interrupting his joyous crying. „Thank you, thank you, thank you so very much...“ He mumbles into your skin, slightly tickling it in the proccess, pulling you even closer to him.
The two of you stay like this for a few minutes, just enjoying each others warmth, before finally calming down. Levi detangles himself from you before wiping away his tears, a smile still present. You beam at him, happy about him feeling better now. This was totally worth it even if he were to reject you.
„Okay, n-now it's my turn!“ He exclaims, obviously being as nervous as you were before, yet full of enthusiasm.
„O-oh, you don't have to, really. I-I mean, w-we can if you want to, but you don't have to. I mean... Ugh. You know what I mean.“ You stumble over your words like a moron, feeling anxious about what you will see in the mirror. Only you revealing your feelings to him is one thing but knowing how he sees you... It's scary. Maybe you're not going to like what you might see in that reflection.
Levi shakes his head. „T-this is important f-for you to see as well. Of course only if you want to know... I mean... I guess you would want to know after w-w-what I've seen... Oh man. I-I'm sorry for sounding like an idiot.“
You grin at him, you just can't help it. How can he be so cute? It should be illegal. „O-okay. Let's try.“
Levi nods and carefully takes the mirror that is lying besides you, raising it up to your eyelevel.
For a second, you don't recognize yourself. Who is this person that's staring back at you? Of course you know it's you but all the things that you dislike about yourself are suddenly so stunning. You can't help but smile, realizing that he likes all those little things about you. As your smiling self reflects back at you, you feel butterflies. You didn't know that your smile could look that inviting.
You feel the warmth spread in your chest as you look up at Levi who is now in the same situation as you were earlier – his eyes shut tight, blushing madly, scared to see what your expression might be. You take this chance to throw yourself at him, sending the two of you toppling over.
„Woah!“ the demon exclaims as he lands on his back, his arms flailing around helplessly but he quickly realizes what this is about. He lowly says your name with so much love, it makes you feel like you melt.
„Levi! I love you!“ you blurt out without a second though as you hold onto him as if your life depends on it.
He carefully places his hands on your back. „I-I love you, too.“
You prop yourself up on your hands that are now placed on both sides of his head, searching his face. He looks up at you, definetely nervous, yet content at the same time. You just can't help yourself but dip back down again, giving him a small peck on his lips.
As you push yourself back up again, you are greeted by Levi looking up at you wideeyed. He quickly put his hand on his lips, his face even more crimson than you have ever seen. „D-d-d-did y-y-y-ou j-just-“
„Y-yes, I did. I-I'm sorry if I missread tha-“
But you're quickly cut off by him rolling you on your side and giving you a sweet kiss on your forehead before tucking you under his chin. You can feel his heart beating at an unhealthy speed but you suppose that yours is probably similarely high. „D-do you know how happy you make me?“
You feel like testing the waters with some teasing. „As happy as a new Sucre Frenzy live concert?“
He shakes his head. „H-happier.“ he replies, squeezing you slightly.
You giggle in response. „You also make me happier thant a Sucre Frenzy live concert.“
He loosens his arms around you to give him the space needed to look down at you. „W-wait! That doesn't mean much! You're not that big of a fan!“
You continue your cackling while Levi pouts at you. After regaining your composure, you look up at him and speak up. „Let me rephrase that. You make me happier than anything.
His eyes are wide in shock, still blushing – which really can't be healthy anymore -, before he pulls you in again, hugging you tighter than ever before. „Ugh, right in the kokoro.“
„Yay! Victory! I had the better reply!“ you celebrate yourself, content in Levi's arms.
Levi lets go off you again, propping himself up on one arm, his other one still resting on your waist, giving you a competitive look. „Listen here, noob, I have played so many dating sims, I will make your heart doki doki so much you'll-“
Now able to look behind Levi, you notice that the two of you have shattered Asmo's mirror in your lovedrunken behavior. „Fuck!“ you exclaim.
„Oh come on, now, what were you expecting? You were the one making this PVP!“
„No, Levi, that's not it, turn around!“
As he looks behind his back, he finally realizes what the two of you have done. „Fuck.“
„Exactly! Asmo will kill us!“
„Well, we could always tell him that Mammon stole and sold it. N-now come back here, I-I'm not done holding you!“
And with that, he quickly collects you back in his arms, letting this issue become something future you and him will have to worry about.