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“God, I have never seen you this down bad since your Timothée Chalamet phase.”
It’s a shame, really, because Renjun wants to slap Donghyuck, but he’s right— he doesn’t even have a retort for Donghyuck’s comment on his tongue. Instead it’s like he’s been possessed by some terrible love demon, because all he can manage to babble is “he… his… jawline… sharp…”
Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “You make me homophobic. And I’m a raging gay.”
Honestly, Renjun isn't even quite sure how he got here— He and Donghyuck were simply making their way from their dorms to the cafeteria for lunch. There had been some event on the main path today, though, and so they decided to take the longer route that passed by the hockey field just to be safe. You know, because social interactions when you’ve just gotten out of bed suck.
Renjun claimed he’d never stoop to a level lower than the Timothée Chalamet phase. It truly had him in a chokehold for months, and at his lowest he found himself in his dark, lonely dorm room, staying up despite timezones to catch even the smallest glimpse of Timmy on some shitty stan twitter account’s post. He’d never admit it to Donghyuck, but he still has a small poster of Timmy inside his closet. You know, for the memories, or whatever.
But this is different. This is real. There is a boy on the field in front of him and he is gorgeous. Said boy on the field is just plain delicious to look at (there’s no better way to describe it), a mix of what Renjun thinks the Taylor Swift songs on his Spotify Wrapped must be on about and what has got to be an AI generated version of every single man Renjun has found attractive, ever. Now they’re hiding behind a pillar so Renjun can stare at the boy for just a second longer. Donghyuck’s stomach grumbles softly.
Then, in a moment of life simply deciding to throw rocks at Renjun for the fun of it, the boy lifts the edge of his shirt up to his forehead to catch the bead of sweat trickling down his temple. Renjun promises he tried not to look, knew that it would be his downfall, but the abs were right there. They glisten in the sun as if to taunt Renjun and all he can do is brace himself against the pillar before his knees go all wobbly and Donghyuck has to grab onto his arm so he doesn’t literally collapse in front of the Law building.
“What the fuck is wrong with you.”
Renjun tries to speak, tries to defend himself, but his mouth is so, so dry, and all he can croak out is something along the lines of ohmygod he has abs and they are like Abs abs and ohmygod—
It’s official: Renjun has been diagnosed with Horny.
“I’m diagnosing you with Horny,” Donghyuck reinforces, pulling him up to his feet again.
Renjun leans against the pillar for support, his knees still jelly, and, precariously, peeks around the corner of the pillar to see the boy back at his game, focused. He then hides behind the pillar again, and releases a painful sounding groan, the back of his head bonking the concrete pillar.
“He’s so out of my league.”
Donghyuck checks the boy out, giving him the good old up and down. “He’s good looking, but I wouldn’t say you don’t have a chance.” He slaps him on the ass, but in a ‘we’ve been friends since diapers and I’m homo but this is no homo’ way. “And you’ve got a nice ass.”
Renjun sighs out wistfully. “He’s, like, Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift personified. And I’m Happiness or whatever Dixie D’Amelio’s terrible new song is called.”
“ Be happy ,” Donghyuck corrects, but Renjun isn’t listening. He’d gone back to staring with his mouth agape a long while ago.
“Well?” Donghyuck finally says, breaking Renjun out of his reverie.
“Huh?”
“Go say hi or something?”
Renjun looks at Donghyuck like he’s out of his mind, but he doesn’t budge. “What do you have to lose?”
“My dignity.”
“Already gone after last week at the club,” Donghyuck starts, and Renjun winces at the thought. “Also, he barely knows you, if anything you’ll probably just never see each other again. It’s college, for fucks sake. People disappear all the time. When was the last time you saw Chenle?”
Renjun mulls. “I don’t know, three weeks—”
“It was a rhetorical question. Just do something about,” Donghyuck gestures to Renjun’s pathetic stance against the pillar, “ this .”
Renjun runs a hand through his hair. The boy stopped playing for a water break and he’s stressed . He’s never been this stressed since his Calculus class in the first semester. That had him shooting coffee like they were shitty Smirnoff vodka shots for weeks .
“I need a plan.”
Donghyuck scoffs, then slaps Renjun on the shoulder. “No plan, just vibes, dude,” he says, and Renjun can see the sunglasses emoji practically on his face. He texts Donghyuck far too often. Renjun makes a mental note to see less of his annoying (and useless!) best friend. “You just walk up to him and tell him he’s hot and see where it goes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“You want to. I can see it on your stupid little face.”
Renjun does want to. He’s lived his entire life so carefully, like he’s both the acrobat and the clown performing a tightrope during the circus that is his life, and to be fair it’s gotten him quite far in most aspects of life. Most aspects, excluding romance.
Maybe it’s about time for a new strategy?
Renjun thinks about doing it, and then he makes up his mind. He’s made up his mind: he’s going to do it. And he needs to do it now, while he’s still in the mood, because he knows this kind of impulsivity only happens once in a while when he’s actually sober and if he doesn’t start walking towards the boy now it’ll never happen.
“I’m going!” Renjun announces. He checks himself in his phone camera, brushes his hair, and then finally reveals himself from the pillar to stalk towards the boy.
“He’s going!” Donghyuck cheers, and then, a little quieter, “oh my god, he’s actually going?”
But by then he’s already halfway down the hockey field, so really, there’s no turning back now.
Unfortunately by the time he’s close enough to get the boy’s attention the boy is busy gulping down his water bottle with his head titled up and Renjun almost wants to run away in pure embarrassment. He can’t seem to stop staring at the way his adam’s apple bobs, the way his sweat is trickling down his neck—
“Hi?”
The boy is talking to him.
The boy is talking to him!?
“Um, hi,” Renjun says, then takes a deep breath in.
“I don’t mean to be creepy but I was watching you from over there and I have zero interest in field hockey and you probably get this all the time but God I just need to say it myself: You’re really hot.”
The boy stills, midway through crunching the empty water bottle. His eyes widen like a puppy, revealing that perhaps he doesn’t get it all the time. Which Renjun would happily change if the boy would let him.
“I, uh, thanks…?”
“You’re welcome,” Renjun says, nodding like he’s working on the sixth hour of his retail shift. “Have a nice day.”
He then goes to turn on his heel, almost trips, and starts walking off. Fast.
“Wait,” he hears the boy call, and he stops in the middle of the court.
“I’m Jeno.”
What.
“What,” Renjun says.
The boy, Jeno , makes a sound of confusion. He tries again: “My name is Jeno…?”
“Okay, Jeno…?” Renjun repeats. He slowly starts walking backwards, the grass crunching under his converse, but Jeno just keeps walking forward for each step he takes.
“Um,” Jeno says, “aren’t you going to tell me your name?”
Renjun stops midstep. Jeno wants to know his name.
“You want to know my name?”
Jeno scrunches his eyebrows. “Yeah? Why not?”
Renjun shrugs. “I dunno. You’re way out of my league, first of all.”
Jeno pouts, far too cute for someone who has the abs that Renjun just saw. “That’s not true!”
“If I’m not out of your league, do you want to go out sometime?”
Which was… not what Renjun meant to say, but the words tumbled out of his mouth faster than he could control. He can hear Donghyuck cackle somewhere in his brain. Maybe he’s hallucinating? Probably the love demon. Definitely the love demon.
It’s gone silent now, save for the chatter of Jeno’s teammates in the background, and Renjun knows this is the last conversation he will have with Jeno.
Renjun winces, scrunches his eyes shut with his heart clenching as he braces himself for the inevitable.
“Yeah, sure, why not?”
Renjun breathes out. Everything out, eyes still shut. Then he recites what he’s already practised: “that’s okay, I understand. Thanks for letting me down easy.”
“What?”
Renjun opens his eyes. “What?” he repeats, dumbly.
“I said yes?”
Now Renjun’s eyes go wide. “You said what?”
“Um. To your offer. I said yes.”
“Oh,” Renjun says, taking in a deep breath because he hadn’t been breathing for a few second and was probably going blue.
Jeno blinks. Then he blinks again. “So…”
“I’m sorry,” Renjun says, shaking his head, “I genuinely didn’t think I’d get this far.”
“Stop saying that! You’re cute and I don’t even believe in leagues!”
Jeno has just called him cute. Renjun might implode. Instead he covers it up and blabbers something like, “no, but, Jeno, you see, I’m cute, but you’re hot. Like, Hot hot. Hollywood hot. ‘I can’t believe you exist and go to this lame school’ hot. ‘You put my Timothée Chalamet phase to shame’ hot.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Renjun shrugs again, just as the wind blows into his face. “It means you’re very hot.”
“No, not that. What’s a Timothée Chalamet phase?”
“Um,” Renjun says, biting his lip, “that’s a long story.”
The coach’s whistle blows, the moment breaking instantly, and Renjun is this close to just running away and never talking about this again.
A tentative smile spreads across Jeno’s face. “Maybe you can tell me over boba tomorrow…?”
-
“This blows ,” Donghyuck whines, nibbling on his shitty cafeteria croissant, “I was hoping you’d fuck something up and then have to pine after him for months. I didn’t expect you to come back with a date scheduled for tomorrow.”
“All in a day’s work my guy,” Renjun says, twiddling with his hoodie strings, though he’s still slightly dazed over what exactly just transpired. “Wait. Weren’t you rooting for me?”
“No, yeah, I was, but I also didn’t think it was going to work .”
Renjun tsks, throwing an unopened packet of butter at his face. He smiles internally when Donghyuck’s face scrunches on impact. “You should try it sometime, just being terribly brazen and having zero shame at all.”
Donghyuck groans into his croissant, but Renjun is too busy thinking about what he should wear to his boba date with Jeno tomorrow.
“Bitches will have something go right once and then suddenly they’re the love guru…”
-
“Pretend you’re taking a photo of me, then zoom into the background so it’s just Donghyuck and the guy.”
Renjun shifts forward to position himself right in front of where Donghyuck should be behind him, whipping out his Stereotypically Fruity peace sign pose, and Jeno giggles when he pulls out his phone to take a picture.
Donghyuck had been staring at this guy with bright orange hair from across the bar, and, this time, it was Renjun who had brought up the idea. Or, the lack thereof. “No plans, just vibes,” he’d said, mimicking Donghyuck’s tone that fateful day.
Jeno frowns. “Orange hair guy is squinting. Do you think it’s going well?”
Renjun shrugs. “Who knows? It’s Donghyuck, after all. He’s pretty up there in terms of attractiveness.”
“Hey!” Jeno pouts, the same pout he did when they first met. “That doesn’t mean he’s hotter than me, does it?”
Renjun playfully shoves Jeno’s shoulder. “Absolutely not. Stop acting like a puppy. It’s disgustingly cute and makes me fall in love with you.”
Jeno smiles at him, that award-winning smile he overhears the girls in school talk about. It’s still hard to believe he’s often on the receiving end of it.
“You love it, though.”
And Renjun can’t help it, his very carefully crafted sarcastic demeanour coming down whenever he’s in his boyfriend’s presence. He smiles, eyes crinkling. “I do.”
To be quite frank, Renjun really wanted to kiss Jeno in the middle of the bar, the way his lips just looked so glossy after he had his cranberry vodka, but Donghyuck had decided to come back right then to ruin the moment.
He looks up at him expectantly.
“Well?”
“It worked… very well, actually…” Donghyuck says, scratching the back of his head in apparent defeat. “Say, haha, do either of you happen to have a-“
Renjun throws a condom at his face. “You’re welcome.”