Chapter Text
There were four expressions with Hayato: confused, frustrated, upset, and neutral. Dove cycled through those expressions most of the time, Hawks learned to not question it too much, as Hayato probably didn't know this happened, and it was just who Hayato was. Dove was an insecure, and unconfident kid. The boy doesnt know how to express emotions verbally, so it happened in a different way.
And because of that, Hawks had learned other tells that convey his son’s emotional state. Mostly because of his wings, the wings were a big tell. If the Dove was tired they dropped slowly onto any nearby surface. If he was content, his wings would rest a half an inch away from his body, if he was scared or unsure they tensed and pressed against his back. So on and so forth.
Hawk's favorite tell was one of two. First was when Dove was frustrated. He gives Hayato puzzles that sharpen his thinking skills, and Hawks was sure that Hayato would figure it out in less then ten minutes, being as smart of a kid that he is. That was before Hawks factored in the fact that Hayato only has one arm, so it adds an extra challenge, despite how guilty Hawks felt. Hayato seemed to like them though, it kept him busy and stimulated enough when Hawks was doing something like cooking or the laundry.
As time went on and Hayato wouldn’t get to that satisfactory stage of solving the puzzle, that's when the frustration hit. Sometimes Hawks caught it, sometimes he didn’t. Hayato would expand his wings by a little by little, then he scrunch up his nose and puff his cheeks after a bit, and lastly when that puzzle just wouldn't solve for whatever reason, Dove would bend over himself, both wings puffed to double his size and the boy would let out the cutest and smallest frustrated chirp form his lips. Quiet to most, loud to him.
Hawks would often have to restrain themselves from laughing at the sight or recording it, Hayato would probably lose interest in the toys if Hawks did that. What kind of dad would he be then?
His other favorite tell of Hayato's emotional state is when Hayato’s accomplished something or is just generally happy. When it first happened it was during one of Hawks rare days off and he had seen on the media he was allowed to have a lot of kids watching cartoons. To him Hawks didn't understand the appeal of sitting for hours watching 2d drawings enact a story, but he had decided to put something on for Dove. Hayato seemed to have a harder time sitting on the couch, so Hawks had laid out an old blanket, which he almost never uses, as a buffer between the floor and them. Then he had set bothHayato down on the blanket, plopping himself down too after picking the first cartoon he saw in the kids section of his streaming service.
Hawks tried to watch the cartoon, he really did, and he wanted to be at least following the storyline. Just in case this could be a bonding moment for him and his son. until Hawks got about ten minutes into the episode before giving up on bonding through a show. He felt brain cells dying by the minute with no joy replacing the lost cells. So he went onto his phone and lost brain cells there. Hawks shifted to lying on his stomach, the prime position to lounge in since it doesn't squish the wings, and he got a quick glance at Hayato before fully settling in. Dove was apparently captivated by the tv. A little flutter came from his wings and his pupils suddenly got big. Hawks didn't didn't pay any mind, thinking the Dove was just shifting to get comfortable.
Then the behavior happened more, particularly when each episode's intro song played. Hawks noticed it more and more, to the point where he decided to do an experiment. There was an option at the beginning of the episode to skip the into song, and Hawks watched Hayato's reaction when he had clicked it. Dove’s wings dropped suddenly when the song didn't play, and he eyed Hawks with a sad and confused look but didn't say anything. Did Dove actually like the song? He did not voice his queries, of course. The anxiety of going to say something wrong and adding to Hayato's own anxieties weighing greater than his curiosity.
The next time it happened, it was later in the day during Dove’s weekly bath. Hawks was doing his usual thing watching Dove’s fluffy hair when he noticed the little flutter of Dove's wings yet again. Although this time, they splashed in the bath water as Hawks continued to scrub. The splash wasn't strong enough to make a mess, but enough to be noticeable. Hawks could help himself but laugh at least a little.
“Do you like the bath, Dove?” Hawks asked the boy in the water. It had taken a lot of patience to get Hayato used to an actual bath without freaking out, but it was worth it in the end. Hawks stopped scrubbing the chicks scalp deeming it clean enough and went for the showerhead not far from the bathtub. When he looked over he saw that Dove was red, probably not from the warm water.
“Well… um..” he muttered out, then the boy lifted his arm out for the water, “I..um-it’s nice? When you..” Dove did his best to gesture something over his head, though his motor skills needed heavy fine tuning, Hawks got the gist.
“Scratch your head?” he demonstrated again by running his hand through the chick's hair again, this time pushing all the soapy suds back away from his face. Dove nodded and humed in affirmation, and Hawks laughed again. “It’s okay to say that you like something.” he mentions more as an afterthought as he tilted Doves head back and started to spray the suds away with the shower head. “Liking something makes you who you are.” The suds come out of Dove's hair easily, so he moved on to grabbing a small pink hand held washcloth for Dove's body.
“What does..liking something mean… exactly?” and there the confused look Hawks also loved to look at, there was a tilt to not only Dove’s head but his entire torso. His hair dropped into the water, it was getting quite long now, and started to folate gracefully in it. Dove's eyes were big and unmoving, his mouth the slightest bit a gap. And on top of the entire look, freckles that contrasted dark against his pale skin. All an adorable look that Hawks couldt help but smile at. But he also had to answer Dove’s question.
“Uhhh…” Hawks exhaled, unsure of how to answer. “I guess…Liking something…is to experience either a scene or object or anything really….and get happy feelings in your body, then wanting to experience that feeling again and again.” he was slightly distracted with the task of washing the boy, making his thinking and word coordination a little muddled, hopefully Hawks got his point across.
“Like how you scratching my head made me feel happy?” Hayato said awkwardly.
“Yes, exactly like that.” Hawks smiled. Again the Dove's wings fluttered and splashed in the water. It clicked that this mosten ment he was happy, and thinking back on it, the dove had done this a lot.
Like when the chick was in the hospital those first few months and hawks came to visit, dove’s wings fluttered, and whenever he was eating they would flutter. As well as a plethora of other situations that popped into hawks mind. Dove’s wings would flutter, telling the world he was happy. Knowing that made hawks feel warm in all the right ways. Mostly thankful that he is able to provide all the things necessary to make hayato be happy and stay happy.
The conversation didn't last long after that, as Hawks finished the bath quickly. Still with a small smile to his face he lifted Hayato out of the water and into his chicken towle, then Hawks drained all the water in the tub.
“I..um..like this towle.” Dove said whie Hawks was drying his hair off.
“Oh yah?” he replied, moving on to the nightly routine skin care in Hayato's previously burned and now scared limbs. “What about it specifically makes you feel happy?” Dove seemed to be taken aback, having not expected Hawks to be interested in his life. Dove immediately looked away from Hawks, which he also found cute.
“Umm, It’s… soft… and keeps me warm” The boy started. “It also makes you smile when I'm in the towel.” Dove's cheeks turned the brightest shade of red as he tried to mutter and jumble the last words out, but Hawks got it all. Oh he did, and he burned it all into his memory. The cuteness was just too much! “Dad?” Hawks paused his quick clean up to look at Hayato.
“Yes, my Dove?” he said “You have a question?” Hayato nodded.
“Um… what do you like?” he asked.
“What do I like?” Hawks had to think for a moment, quickly setting prescribed ointments and bandegest aside in their designated spot. “Well I like a lot of things….” he tried to think somore as he picked up Hayato and carried him back into the bedroom. He placed a Dove on the edge of his bed, having to move a wall of the nest slightly to make room. “For one, I like your towel too.” Hawks quickly searched for Hayato’s jamies that had been chosen just before bath time. “I like food, my bed, blankets….um…my hero costume…” Hawks tried to think of other things, but of course none came up at the moment as he clothed the clean chick. “I like to work out, … and I like the fact that I can do that at home…..”
All these responses seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Hawks could see in without having to look at Dove’s wings, Hayato was looking for a specific answer, and Hawks had not given it. The boy looked at Hawks quickly, then back to the floor.
“What about me?” he whispered. Hawks almost asked back ‘ What about you?’ but he backtracked from that. Knowing that it would only sting.
“Well, my Dove” Hawks picked up the now clean and clothed chick up, gently playing him in the center of his bed. “My feelings towards you grow stronger every day that goes by.” Hawks started. He pulled the covers up, taking the time to get Hayato cozy under the covers. “It has gotten so strong in fact, my liking for you has morphed into something different.”
Hawks leaned close to the Dove. A small smile on his face. “For a liking you can live without, despite the good feelings you get from it.” Hawks started to whisper unconsciously towards the end. “For you my Dove, I can not live without you, the mere thought being out of the question. There for… I love you.” He had never said those words aloud before, so simple to say in thought, but the phrase held more power then that. “ And to love something, is to not be able to live without.”
Once again the Dove's cheeks went red, and he hid half his face under the covers to try and hide it. But as usual, his tiny fluffy wing has more to say than his voice. They fluttered and flapped more than usual, seemingly restless against the bed. Hawks smiled, and raised his hand to run it through Hayato's locks, brushing the blonde out of his freckled forehead. Then he pressed his lips firmly to the exposed area.
“Good night Dove.” Hawks said afterwards. “Sweet dreams.” Hawks kissed Dove’s forehead yet again. Getting up and going to turn off the lights. The nightlight glowed once again, singing birds proudly dancing across Dove’s ceiling.
“Night dad.” His chick said just before the Hawks closed the door. Hawks smiled and exhaled softly. Then he said just as softly,
“Good night, I love you.”