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His son seemed more... dispirited. Would that be the right word to describe how he was seeing him? He wasn't sure.
Stoick the Vast was known to be a peerless leader, capable of instilling equal parts respect and fear in the other Vikings, as well as being intimidating to those who questioned his authority without a second thought. The only problem was... he didn't know how to balance that job with being a father. Despite all that Hiccup and he went through since the dragons began living on Berk, Stoick felt that, even with the improvement in their relationship, there were still things going on that Hiccup wouldn't tell him out of insecurity. And he himself didn't know how to approach. Only Odin knew how hard he was trying and then, how frustrated he could get when he felt he was distancing himself a little more from his son.
Gobber always reminded him of the same thing: the boy was already eighteen and the two of them went through many things that strengthened their relationship in a very noticeable way. No one could say otherwise. It was true. At least now they could talk at length without falling into a heavy and uncomfortable silence.
However, as he watched his son sitting on Toothless' back, deep in thought and distracted, Stoick felt that he would not find a way to talk to him about it when they met that night. The young man would surely have things to tell him and Stoick would be more than willing to listen to everything (he wouldn't make that mistake of making him feel like he was talking to himself again), but a part of his mind kept repeating to him that Hiccup would end up feeling uncomfortable anyway talking to his father.
It was overwhelming.
For years he tried his best to make Hiccup become a real Viking, and how did he do it? By overprotecting him from the world and keeping him from discovering things about life on his own. His fear of losing him in the same way he lost Valka clouded his judgment on countless occasions, causing distance between the two of them. Still, Hiccup showed great courage and intelligence by taming a Night Fury and then becoming his friend. And subsequently, getting everyone to have their own dragons. Insecurities and all, he didn't hold back, but proved what he was capable of.
Stoick wondered if they would ever connect in any way.
In the evening, Hiccup returned from training with his dragon, went inside and heavily closed the door. If at his age he felt tired and irritated by the slightest thing, he didn't want to imagine his father. Toothless nudged him gently, as if to ask if he was all right.
"Hiccup, glad you made it," greeted Stoick, who was seated at the table. He stood up.
"Hi, Dad," Hiccup replied, cracking a tired smile.
"How was training?"
"Whew... Exhausting. The twins wreaked havoc at the academy again, what a surprise. And Snotlout got his butt burned by his dragon... again. It seems they still don't know how to control their own impulses or that of others." Hiccup snorted, as he stroked his dragon's head.
"Those young ones will never change," laughed Stoic slowly.
"Don't even tell me...".
Stoick clasped his hands together and said:
"I didn't have time to make dinner, but if you want...".
"No, no, Dad, it's okay," his son stopped him. "I'm not hungry anyway. Toothless, you go upstairs. I'll be there in a minute."
Toothless grunted by way of affirmation and hopped up the stairs. Without speaking, Hiccup walked past his father and dropped to one knee in front of the fire, concentrating. It was as if the warmth of the flames caused him to feel secure or simply helped him think about things he didn't talk about. Besides that, Stoick noticed that he looked... a little sad. They didn't talk. A few minutes later, Hiccup stood up and walked up the stairs after saying goodbye to his father.
The man sighed quietly and decided to go to his son's room. He slowly opened the door and saw him lying on the blankets, one of his hands was between his head and the pillow and he was breathing slowly, awake. His dragon was looking at him with some sorrow. He looked as worried as he was.
Stoick approached with light steps and sat on the edge of the bed, searching for the best words to come up with something with him.
"Son, is something wrong? I noticed you today too...distant." Well, it wasn't that hard.
"It's nothing, really," he replied quietly. "I'm just tired."
"I know a little more than that, Hiccup. I understand better than most what fatigue is and I can tell this case is not yours."
"Wow, you were more observant this time," he teased lightly, though without much humor.
Stoick went over his options. What could he do to try to get his son to talk to him? And if that wasn't the case, how could he try to cheer him up a bit? Odin, he didn't even think about what could cheer him up as a young adult. Or maybe he knew, but would that still be the same as when his son was a child? He always used that method when he was little, if he was sad or upset. There was only one way to find out.
"Was that a taunt, to your father?", the chief questioned.
Even if he was sideways, he noticed Hiccup's brow furrow slightly in confusion. Then he smiled.
"It wasn't a taunt, but a fact," the young man continued.
"Don't get smart," Stoick warned.
"What? It's the truth. It doesn't usually happen that you observe, rather you attack and then observe."
"You're asking for it."
"Oh yeah? What are you going to do, chief?" he asked, blurting out the last word without much respect.
Then, Hiccup found himself jumping a little on his bed as he felt a squeeze on his waist. He hugged himself and turned his head slightly to look at his father.
"Dad, what...?".
He didn't get to finish speaking because Stoick went on to squeeze his ribs. This time he squealed and brought his hands to his ribs out of pure reflex. Toothless sat where he was, not quite understanding what was going on. He would have jumped on his rider as soon as he heard it except that his father wasn't in a threatening position and no one was screaming, so it didn't seem like an emergency. He decided to wait.
Hiccup tried to sit on his bed to get away from his father if he saw the opportunity.
"Dad, don't do...! Ah!" he cried out again as he was pushed onto his bed and instantly, felt his father's hands resting on his ribs. He didn't feel a strong pressure, but the knowledge that it would happen at any moment already made him laugh.
"Dahahahahaad, staahahahahahap it!".
"You made fun of your chief and father, I should teach you manners."
Hiccup pursed his lips as tight as he could, not wanting to indulge his dad. Sure he couldn't take too much of it, but he wanted to try. Obviously, his effort didn't last too long; as soon as Stoick's fingers dug into his ribs, he lost it completely. His small hands tried to push his father's away, totally ignoring the size and strength of the chief.
"Ahh! Thihihihis isn't fahahahahaahair!" he shouted.
"Come on, I used to do this when you were a kid. You loved it!" reminded Stoick, moving his hands to reach for Hiccup's neck.
"Whehehen I-I wahahahas sihihix!".
Hiccup tried to turn to get out of bed. He didn't succeed, as he found himself being stopped not only by his dad, but also by his dragon, who was preventing his escape by leaving his body almost on the other side.
"Ha! See? Even Toothless thinks you need this."
"You trahahahahaihihitor...".
Taking advantage of Hiccup's inability to escape, Stoick tickled his sides and stomach, delighted to hear his childish laughter. It was a long time since he'd had the chance to see and hear him laugh so freely. He was really enjoying it. And he knew Hiccup was too, he was just too proud to admit it.
Wanting to be part of the game, Toothless lowered his head to place it on his rider's neck and began to gently rub his muzzle and breathe against his skin. The sensation was too much for Hiccup.
"Toothless!" he howled, feeling his face turn red.
Stoick's hands began to squeeze the sides of his waist and Hiccup tried to curl up into a ball.
"Nahaha nahat thehehere! Plehahahahase, dahahahahaad!".
Stoick didn't want to get too far (yet), so he pulled his hands away and stroked the Night Fury's head to get him to move away. Hiccup was still panting amidst his laughter. Gods, he had forgotten what it was like to receive such an attack from his father.
No one would believe Stoick the Vast would have a soft side like that. Everyone always saw his stronger, overprotective side when it came to his son; surely they wouldn't think he still used 'old methods' when wanting to cheer him up. Hiccup must have recognized, for once, that having inherited his dad's pride was one of the best things he could have asked for. He was convinced that his life would become a martyrdom if the others found out.
He sat slowly on his bed and wiped away the little sweat that formed on his forehead. The training was working, there was no doubt about it. He turned slightly to look at his dragon reproachfully, though the smile that tried to show on his lips caused Toothless to not take it too seriously.
He turned to his father and noticed his strangely thoughtful look. He was up to something.
"Dad, what's wrong?", he ventured to ask.
"I just remembered something," replied Stoick, all at once very serious.
"What thing?", asked Hiccup cautiously.
"Something that put a smile on your face instantly. Do you remember it?".
Hiccup thought for a few seconds and quickly knew what he was talking about. But he was an adult now, surely his father wouldn't try....
"Dad, that was years ago," he protested uselessly.
"Then it would be a good occasion to find out if it still works, don't you think so, son?".
Hiccup didn't even have time to protest or move as his father laid him on the bed, again. As soon as he lifted his shirt to expose his belly, Hiccup started laughing with anticipation without Stoick doing anything to him. He tried to beg, but having his dragon join his father didn't help him any. Toothless began sniffing in his ear, causing him to be unable to stop his laughter. And he screamed when, finally, his father began to distribute raspberries between his stomach and sides. He didn't know what was worse: that or the constant rubbing of his beard against his skin.
"NAHAHAHAA, DAHAHAHAD, PLEHAHAHASE!", shouted the young man, no longer strong enough to (try to) push his father away. "TOOTHLESS, LEAHAHAHAVE ME!".
"Look at that! Just like when you were little," Stoick teased affectionately, dropping another raspberry on his right side.
Hiccup could no longer manage to formulate any words. Each time Stoick paused a little, he actually seemed to wait for him to open his mouth to blow raspberries against his belly and sides. On the fourth, he arched his back and threw his head back, only leaving more room for Toothless to attack his neck. Between the dragon nuzzling his neck and his father attacking his torso, it didn't take Hiccup long to shed tears. His eyes were tightly closed and yet he could feel the small drops trickling down his temples.
"DAHAHAD, I'M TOHOHO OLD FOHOHR THIS!" he cried out before Stoick gave him a final squeeze in the ribs.
"You'll never be too old for your father, son," the chief declared, sitting up and helping Hiccup sit beside him once Toothless moved away. The dragon stayed close to them.
Hiccup brushed away the small tears as he let out a few last giggles as he felt the tingling in his body. He looked up at his dad and, still smiling, leaned against his side. Stoick wrapped his strong arms around him and pulled him tighter against him.
"Thanks, Dad...," Hiccup murmured. "I think I really needed...to laugh a little," he added sheepishly.
"Hiccup, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. You just have to know that I'll be around for whatever you need, always," Stoick said, loosening his grip a little.
"I know. It's just... Hmm..." he sighed, defeated, and stepped a little away from his father. "Today at training, the other riders called me 'chief' a couple of times. That wasn't the problem, at first I took it as a joke, but then...".
"Then...?" insisted Stoick, encouraging him to continue.
"We crossed paths with other villagers and many did the same. For a moment, I felt like I really was a chief.... That scared me," he admitted, embarrassed.
"Why?"
"I know that one day it will be my responsibility to take your place. What if in the end everyone realizes that I'm no good at it?" he sounded more nervous than before. "I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I feel like I can never be... the kind of chief you are."
Stoick was silent. Sometimes he forgot how much Hiccup had grown, and therefore, how much he had aged. With that, one day the time would come for him to leave Hiccup his place as chief and protector of the village. However, he did not take into account that even if his son was showing himself to be increasingly mature and capable of leading, he could still feel insecure about it.
"Son," Stoick began, placing a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. "I have seen how you train and guide the others and the way you always create plans to improve the defense of their dragons. You're always one step ahead of most."
"But I'm supposed to be able to do that in front of the whole village and know you motivate everyone. I feel like I wouldn't be able to hold my head up if something serious happens."
"I understand. Shall I tell you something?"
Hiccup looked at his father with curious eyes, nodding slowly.
"Even though you always hear me talking to the Berkians to motivate or help them if something serious happens, I'm not at peace knowing that you'll do whatever it takes to fix it."
"What?"
"It scares me every time you embark on those dangerous missions. My job as the chief is to appear unflappable so as to achieve peace of mind in others and ensure safety. But even though they see me that way, inside I pray to all the gods that you return safely. It terrifies me to think that I might lose you, son".
It was Hiccup's turn to be silent as he averted his gaze. To be honest, it never occurred to him that his father might be dealing with it every time he and his friends flew straight into danger, literally. Stoick always showed himself to be completely impassive and if he lost his cool, he showed anger. They rarely got to see him in the midst of despair. On second thought, Hiccup remembered that in those times, he was always involved, with his life in the abyss.
Perhaps he understood a little more what a chief did: he did not lack fears, but tried not to let them out in order to solve problems.
Noticing that they seemed to be flagging, Toothless rounded the bed to carefully rest his head in his rider's lap and look at the chief fondly.
"It's a perk of the job, isn't it?" muttered Hiccup, stroking his dragon's head.
"That doesn't make it any easier," sighed Stoick.
Hiccup moved to cling to his father's side again and he hugged him again.
"I love you...," he said softly. That made his father hug him tighter and kiss his head.
"I love you too...".
The next silence that formed, far from being heavy or awkward like other times, proved to be comforting. Hiccup felt a great relief at being able to let go of that which was troubling him. And he was glad that his father had been able to comfort him. Part of him had thought they wouldn't be able to talk about it or that the older man would say, "You have to face that fear, when you're a chief you won't be able to show it." Dad's way of talking to him improved considerably years ago, now he felt he could tell him more things without fear.
Stoick moved one of his hands and accidentally brushed Hiccup's side again, causing him to flinch. He hadn't meant to, though that didn't stop him from remembering something else.
He looked at Toothless and smiled playfully at him, indicating with a nod of his head to return to the other side of the bed. The dragon stirred with excitement, wanting to play along.
When he moved away, the Berk chief cleared his throat and exclaimed:
"Hey, Hiccup. I remembered something else."
Oh, no, Hiccup thought, gingerly pulling away from his father's embrace.
"What-what is it, Dad?"
"I think there was another little point that made you laugh nonstop. Let's see... Oh, yes, I know what it was. What kind of a father would I be if I didn't check all of my son's points?"
Hiccup tried once again to get away from his father and, again, found himself being blocked by his dragon. This time he did not try to plead. Without stretching the inevitable too far, Stoick threw his large hands under Hiccup's arms. The young man gasped sharply before collapsing into loud, uncontrolled laughter. He clasped his arms to his sides and tried to curl up on himself.
"PLEAHAHAHASE, DON'T! PLEHEHEHEASE!"
Odin, if his friends ever found out....
The pressure seemed to increase a little, which made him scream and laugh at the same time.
"DAHAHAHAHAD, STAHAHAP IT NOW!".
"It's a little hard to understand you, son. What were you saying?" he asked teasingly, stopping the movement of his fingers, without moving his hands away.
"Dahahahad, i-i'm fihihine now. Just stohahap it", he exclaimed shakily as he felt Stoick's hands on him.
Fortunately, the chief laughed slowly and let him go. He shared a look of triumph with Toothless as Hiccup hugged himself, waiting for the tingling sensation to go away completely.
"Well it seems some things didn't change much," the older man declared, watching his son sit at a distance he would perhaps think prudent.
"I doubt you forget that easily, do you?" asked Hiccup, half resigned.
"I never did," Stoick replied. He smiled lovingly at his son and reached over to hug him again, without the thought of attacking him now. "I know I wasn't present before as I should have been, but... I want you to know that even though sometimes we argue and don't know how to talk everything out, I love you, son, more than anything else in the world. I'll always be there for you when you need it."
With a twinkle in his eye, Hiccup leaned against his father's chest. Soon after, Toothless wanted to be a part of it and leaned against his rider from behind and Hiccup put a hand on the side of his head.
He was grateful for everything he had.