Chapter Text
You would think being paired with Kenji in one of Darius’ plans would make Ben excited, but it really just puts him on edge if anything. He wants to spend time with him, of course, but lately there’s an almost tangible tension between them.
Maybe it’s all in his head.
Really, nothing happened between them that would suggest they hit a rough patch or anything. In fact, leading up to today- the apparent day of rescue for the former campers- things have been pretty good. They were talking and reminiscing in the desert, they had a moment in Mae’s kitchen when Yaz and Brooklynn needed their private time or whatever, and just last night they shared the couch, cuddling all night. It’s just that Ben has been… noticing things lately. Or, he’s imagining things.
He has questions he’s afraid to ask.
Since the day they arrived on this god-forsaken island- heck, even before that, back on the yacht- Ben has been noticing Brooklynn and Kenji hanging out more. At first, he dismissed it, more or less secure in the knowledge that he and Kenji are together. Except… are they? They never talked about it, and if he thinks about it, what would have happened if the Mosasaurus hadn’t ruined their plans? Would they have reached Costa Rica and have gone separate ways? Would the most they'd interact be calls every once in a while? If at all? Did their little affair have an expiration date, and it was only extended because of extraneous circumstances?
Does Kenji want to move on already?
Ben knows this is most likely paranoia, but he has a hard time not feeling this way. He’s never felt such strong feelings before Kenji- at least none that lasted or even came to anything. He thinks of a year ago, when the guy he spent a week flirting with locked him in a porta-potty. It affected him so much, he still carries hand sanitizer with him everywhere, even now. He can’t imagine what would happen if he lost Kenji. Or worse, that he never really had Kenji to begin with.
Ben shakes his head, suddenly annoyed at how insecure he is.
He remembers the way Kenji watched Ben because he was afraid he’d lose him. He remembers the way Kenji would be in states of undress around him. He remembers the time they were in Kenji's room, the compromising positions they were in. He remembers the time Kenji was pissed at him out of concern, even when Ben was giving him the cold shoulder. He remembers Kenji’s simple confession in the jungle as the sun set. He remembers his own confession which preceded their first kiss- followed by their second, third, etc.-
He remembers the lingering stares they shared and the fact that behind each one, there is love.
Kenji's cough pulls him from his thoughts. The taller teen is standing next to their pink-haired friend. Kenji smiles at her, assuring her he’s fine while she grimaces.
The gaze he loves is looking at someone else, and an unpleasant but now familiar ache spreads in his chest.
He needs to talk to him.
---
Ben spends his time in the high-hide as quietly as possible. Not only does their mission depend on it, but... he’s chickened out on talking to Kenji about his feelings.
Kenji, however, seems to want to do the opposite.
“Ben, I know something’s been up with you. Talk to me, please.”
Despite their whispering, he knows Mae can hear every word they’re saying. He glances over to her where she sits behind him, and catches her looking their way before quickly returning her attention to the tablet again. She also takes a moment to put a shushing motion with her hands and lips. Ben grimaces back at her, and turns to face Kenji again.
“Later. We have to be quiet, remember?”
“You’re deflecting.”
“I’m doing my job.” Ben says curtly and a bit too loudly. Mae puts a hand on his shoulder and shushes him again. He can see from up here that the Rexes stirred for a moment, but are sleeping soundly again.
“Fine, when we get to the plane, we’re talking.”
“Alright, fine, just shush.”
“Don’t tell me to shush!” Kenji says, in an even more hushed tone. Ben almost laughs.
Mae mumbles to herself for a moment, prompting Ben to ask what it is she’s doing. She explains in plain enough terms, and emphasizes again their need for absolute quiet.
Then Kenji coughs again.
“You’re going to wake them up!”
“I had a tickle! Won’t happen again.”
It happens again. Kenji starts into a coughing fit. Ben is quick to gently pat his back and cover his mouth for him.
“Forget if I’m okay, what about you?”
“Peachy.” Kenji practically wheezes.
Soft alarms go off from Mae's tablet, and from below they can hear one of the Rexes wake up.
Oh. Shoot.
---
It would have been nice if Mae warned them she was ushering them into the frozen biome they currently find themselves in. Not that it would have done them any good, considering none of them have any winter clothes (or any other kinds of clothes, for that matter), but still, a warning at least. The biting cold hits Ben like a sucker punch, the wind harsh and unforgiving. He never thought he’d miss the desert. Despite the fact that he has more covering than himself, Kenji is chattering his teeth, unable to handle their sudden change in climate. If Ben had a jacket, or anything really, he’d offer it to the taller teen.
“I am not dressed for this.” Ben complains.
“None of us are. And it’s definitely not helping my cold.” The taller sneezes, as if to accentuate his point. Brooklynn, who was next to him up until then, decidedly leaves Kenji behind. Ben, grimace on his face, joins Kenji in the rear, keeping himself close to the other to conserve whatever warmth his own small frame may offer.
When Mae shows them the snow gliders, he’s relieved to be out of the cold, but once again, a chill washes over Ben when Kenji hops into the one with Brooklynn and Sammy, effectively separating them.
The whole ride, Ben is wracked with worry about Kenji. He was literally shivering before getting into the snow glider, and frozen weather or no, that’s never a good sign. He vaguely pays attention to what Darius is talking to him about, and he barely notices when Yaz startles awake from her nap. His thoughts are drawn to the vehicle driving alongside them, where poor Kenji is ill.
Hopefully, when they’re all on the plane to the mainland, he’ll be better.
By then, Ben figures, he’ll be ready to talk to Kenji.
---
Watching the plane soar overhead, their only shot of getting off this freaky island, brings an ache that is all too familiar at this point. The six of them scream and shout and jump up and down to get the pilot’s attention, but it is all in vain. It isn’t long before the plane is nothing but a speck on the horizon.
Saving Pierce the Kentrosaurus was the right thing to do, but that fact does little to ebb the pain and frustration of being stranded again. That is made clear with Kenji’s frustrated “Dang It!” or Yaz’s strained “This sucks.”
“Look, I know this isn’t what we wanted, but we did the right thing.” Darius says optimistically. Normally, everyone would be quick to join that sentiment, assured that they saved another dinosaur from an unfortunate fate. This time, however, the youngest is met with stares and silence.
Not wanting Darius to lose that optimism, but also not wanting any resentment to form toward him like Kenji had a while ago, Ben places a hand on his shoulder and guides him away from the group.
They head back towards the biome exit, hoping to find Mae. It’s quiet.
Ben resists the urge to look over his shoulder, lest he be met with something he'd rather not see.
The frustration of missing the plane compounding with his growing insecurity, Ben decides he needs to talk to someone. Right now. As luck would have it, he’s walking with someone who knows about his feelings for Kenji and also happens to be in need of a distraction.
“Can I… vent something to you Darius?”
“Is it about how I chose saving a dinosaur over saving our friends again?”
Oh. Damn.
“Uh, no? Do… Do you wanna vent something to me Darius?” Ben asks hesitantly.
Darius sighs deeply, but shakes his head and offers Ben a smile. Always the brave one, this kid.
“Nah, I’m okay. What was it you wanted to talk about?”
“It’s going to sound silly. Well, at least in comparison.”
“Ben, just lay it on me. I’m all ears.”
“I… um. You remember when I told you about my… romantic feelings for Kenji back on Nublar?”
Darius, as if he didn’t feel soul-crushing disappointment a few minutes ago, perks up and gives Ben his undivided attention.
“Yes, I remember.” Is all the younger teen offers.
“Okay, so. He and I- are kind of… together.”
“No offense, but I’ve known for a while now.” Darius says matter-of-factly.
“Of course you did.” Ben mutters.
“So, what’s up? Having boyfriend troubles? I’m not sure I’m the best person to ask.”
“You’re a very observant person. You were able to tell I liked him and all that. Have,” here we go. “Have you noticed that he and Brooklynn are spending a lot of time together?”
Darius stares ahead, his expression thoughtful. For a second, Ben swears he sees the younger teen’s eyebrows furrow, but it’s gone in an instant, and the other looks at him with a neutral expression.
“Yeah, kind of.”
“Wow. I was really hoping you were gonna say ‘no.’”
“I’m observant, like you said.”
“Hmm.” Is all Ben replies.
“Wait, are you… Do you think Kenji–?”
“Honestly, I don’t know what to think. I mean, I feel silly thinking something is going on because of how… affectionate he is with me.” He hears Darius suppress a laugh and presses on. “But then I see how much they’re together lately and I can’t help but feel like I’m… losing him or something. I don’t know.”
Getting his thoughts out, even if it is to a friend and not the person he’d hope to talk to, is an immense weight off his chest. He’s afraid what Darius, the one who apparently knows all when it comes to him and Kenji, may say in regard to his insecurities, but it’s better than Ben stewing in it alone, chickening out when he tries to talk to Kenji.
It does occur to him that he may have done something against Kenji’s wishes in telling Darius about them. Ben feels a pang of guilt, but it’s overshadowed by the gnawing ache he’s been feeling for days now.
“I’m not sure how to phrase this, so take what I say with a grain of salt.” Darius starts. Ben nods in understanding.
“Okay, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about where Kenji is concerned.”
“Really?” Ben is happy to hear this, but Darius sounds like he wants to say more.
“Yeah. I’ve seen him watch you, giving you looks even when he’s hanging around Brooklynn. I’m sure you know which ones I’m talking about.” A fond smile pulls at Ben’s lips hearing that.
“Okay, great. So I’ve just been parano–”
“I think Brooklynn might be another story.”
“Huh?”
“I’m not too sure, but I think she’s definitely decided to be around Kenji more, for whatever reason.”
“You don’t know?”
“I’m observant, not psychic.” Darius replies, rolling his eyes at him.
“What I mean is… I may have thought you and Brooklynn were a thing. It always seemed you two were together. I just thought you'd know what's up with her.” Ben admits. The look of shock on Darius’ face tells him he may have missed the mark on that.
The blush that appears on his face afterward tells him that maybe he is onto something.
“Look, we're not talking about me.” Darius deflects.
“Sure, sure.” Ben relents, but decides to simply put that on the back burner.
“Anyway, for whatever reason, she’s been hanging around him. You would either have to ask Brooklynn… Or Kenji.”
“So I’m back at square one.” Ben deflates.
“Not necessarily. I’m telling you, I don’t think you have to worry about Kenji.” Darius replies confidently. Ben takes some comfort in that. “And anyway, it sounds like you should be having this conversation with him to begin with.”
Ben chances a look back and sees the girls huddled on the ground, Kenji watching over them. The taller teen, whether he felt Ben’s eyes on him or it’s just pure coincidence, meet’s Ben’s gaze. He waves a hand, a gesture that Ben returns. He offers a small smile before returning his attention to Darius.
He’s felt a peace he hasn’t felt in a while, even with the dread of being left behind again lingering on his mind.
“I will. Thanks, D.”
“Anytime, Ben.”
A moment of silence passes and Ben can't resist anymore.
“So, about you and Brooklynn…”
Darius makes a running start toward the door and Ben let's out a laugh.
