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Chinese or pizza?
That was the question.
Katherine was trying to decide what to surprise her boyfriend with for lunch.
The man worked so hard often neglecting to eat lunch.
Katherine tried to make it a habit to make sure he ate something and take a break from work.
Plus it was always fun to go see him.
Katherine hummed as she decided to get Chinese from the placed they liked.
After placing the order for delivery she got up to head over to his office.
"Where are you going doll? We just ordered food!" A bright voice asked her.
Katherine turned around towards the voice she recognized as Sonny Carisi's.
"I'm gonna go get lunch with Rafa."
"Oh, he's a lucky man having you take him food," he said with a hint of something Katherine couldn't quite place.
She smiled, "I guess he is!"
Carisi have her a small smile as Katherine made her way out of the station.
He wished it was him she ran off to.
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When she got to his floor at Hogan Place she saw that Carmen was no where to be seen.
How odd.
Usually she was behind the desk working on the never ending tasks Rafael needed done.
Then Katherine remembered she was training another woman to take her place when she had her baby.
She concluded that Carmen must be out having lunch with her.
As she approaches the door to Rafael's office she hears small noise.
Not just any noise.
A moan.
Katherine took a step back.
A million different thoughts went through her head.
He wouldn't.
Would he?
With a trembling hand she reached for the doorknob and slightly opened the door.
And her worst fear stood right in front of her.
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It's interesting really how time can seem to move so slowly.
It makes things seem as if they weren't real.
As if they were a dream.
And Katherine prayed that that's all it was.
A bad dream.
But it wasn't.
This was real.
There in front of her was her boyfriend half naked with a blonde girl who's skirt was hiked up to the point where her underwear was visible.
They were kissing as she sat on top of his desk.
Katherine backed away from the slight crack of the open door.
She felt broken.
Used.
Betrayed.
Katherine could feel the tears strolling down her face as she walked out of his office into the elevator.
As soon as the doors closed she let out a loud choking sob.
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As Katherine walked backed into the station she felt exhausted.
She knew that she wouldn't be able to get much done for the rest of the day.
As she tried to discreetly make it to the squad locker room, Sonny noticed something was off with her.
He followed her into the locker room and as she went to a sink to put some water over her face he saw the saddest look on her face.
Her face was red and her eyes were puffy and there was a little bit of snot coming out of her nose.
What the hell happened?
Katherine saw him standing behind her from the reflection of the mirror and tried to clean herself up.
"I'm fine."
Sonny shook his head, "Bull."
Katherine sighed as she dried her face with a paper towel before crumbling it up in her hand.
"He cheated on me," Katherine said with a small voice.
"What?" Sonny could not believe what had just come out of her mouth.
Katherine sniffed and wiped her nose with the wadded paper towel before taking a deep breath.
"I went to take him lunch and I heard something weird from his office and when I cracked open the door he was with Carmen's stupid assistant."
There was silence and just as Katherine felt another wave of tears she felt herself engulfed by a pair of arms.
"I'm so sorry," Sonny whispered into her hair as she held him tight.
"It's okay. I'll be okay," Katherine whispered back but Sonny wasn't sure if she was trying to convince him or herself as she quietly sobbed into his shoulder.
After a while Sony pulled back and wiped the remaining tears from her face
"Have you ate?" he asked softly.
Katherine gave a bitter laugh.
"No I haven't. I left the food at Carmen's desk."
"Well how about I cook you something and you can take the rest of the day off. I'll talk to Liv."
Katherine smiled lightly.
"I would love that."
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As Sonny prepared something for Katherine he couldn't help but think that Barba was an idiot.
He couldn't even begin to understand why he had done that to Katherine.
Katherine adored Barba and up until now he thought Barba adored Katherine.
He shook his head angrily as he lined up the vegetables he was going to cut on the cutting board.
Sonny loved Katherine.
Long before Barba was even in the picture he loved her.
He wanted her to be his more than anything in the world.
But Barba had swept her off her feet and for what?
To break her heart.
"Damnit!" Sonny yelled.
He had cut his finger and now there gush of blood going down his hand.
"Sonny wha- oh my goodness your finger!" Katherine had walked into the kitchen after hearing Sonny yell.
"I'm fine it's just a small cut," Sonny said as he wrapped a washcloth around his cut finger, wincing as he applied pressure to stop the bleeding.
"Its been a while since I've cut myself while cooking I guess I was just so worked u-" Sonny stopped talking. He didn't need Katherine asking him why he was upset.
But it was too late.
"Why are you so upset?" Came Katherine's small voice.
It's now or never.
Sonny took a deep breath as he took Katherine's hand in his.
Katherine all of a sudden felt her heart beating hard out of her chest.
"Katherine I lov-"
A sharp ring of Katherine's phone interrupted Sonny.
"Sorry," Katherine said sheepishly as she answered.
Sonny stepped back as Katherine walked out of the kitchen.
He felt dizzy and he could feel his heart in his throat.
So close...
And yet so far.
Would this torture ever end?
Before Sonny could answer that Katherine walked back in.
"I have to get back to the station."
All Sonny could manage to do was nod as Katherine collected her things.
As they both walked out there was silence between them.
But little did they know that their thoughts were going a million miles per hour.
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"Hey Liv you said it was important?" Katherine asked Liv as she walked into the station.
"Katherine," a figure appeared next to Liv.
Rafael Barba.
Katherine instinctively took a step back.
"I don't want to talk to you." Katherine spat as her body began to shake out of anger.
He tried to step toward her again only to have Katherine shake her head violently.
"Katherine I can expla-"
"EXPLAIN WHAT? AFTER EVERYTHING SHE'S DONE FOR YOU, AFTER HOW MUCH SHE'S LOVED YOU THINK SHE WANTS TO EVEN BE NEAR YOU?"
There was a deep pause.
Katherine turned around wide eyed to the man who had just yelled.
Sonny.
Sonny himself looked back at Katherine in disbelief.
Had he really just said that?
It didn't matter because Sonny Carisi had a lot of things he's been dying to say and today would finally be the day he would say them.
Sonny took a step towards Katherine as he reached to brush his hand against her cheek.
"Katherine I love you. I always have. Ever since you walked into this room I have never stopped think about you. You are in every dream and breath I take. My heart literally stops every time I see you. I never told you and then you fell in love with someone else. And it hurt. It hurt like hell but for some reason I kept loving you. This man doesn't deserve to love you because he could never love you like I do. I would never ever even kiss another woman much less sleep with them if I was yours."
Another long pause.
"Damn," Fin whispered before Liv ribbed him.
Katherine felt dizzy.
Was the room getting hotter?
She needed to leave.
This was too much too fast.
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As Katherine ran out the rest of the squad look at each bewildered.
"Okay so Barba, get the hell out of my squad room. Do not even dare to show up here unless someone is dying. Fin, keep your thoughts to yourself. That was not the moment to say something like that. Sonny, pointer: you don't confess something like that to a girl who has just saw her boyfriend cheat one her. Go make sure Katherine is okay and everyone else back to work." Liv said suddenly.
Everyone turned towards her confused.
"Now." she said deadpanned.
Everyone immediately did as they were told.
Sonny sighed as he stepped into the elevator.
He had royally messed up.
Of course it was a bad time.
As he walked out of the building he spotted Katherine sitting on one of the stairs.
"Hey."
Katherine jumped.
"Sorry," he mumbled as he sat down next to her.
"It fine."
Sonny sighed.
"No it's not. You've had a rough day and I shouldn't have said that."
Katherine forced a laugh, "Yeah not the best time."
They both sat in silence watching the cars pass by.
Katherine took a deep breath before facing Sonny.
"I always knew."
Sonny gawked at her.
"What?"
"I knew you felt something for me. I thought it was just a phase but I could feel the looks you gave me and Barba. To be honest I thought you were just a friend to me but now I don't know."
Sonny didn't know if he was happy or upset.
I mean how crazier could today get?
"Look it's been a crazy day. You should get some rest. Don't make any decisions right now."
Katherine leaned her head on Sonny's shoulder.
"You're right."
Before she got up to leave she gave Sonny a kiss on his cheek.
Sonny smiled.
"Wait for me?" She asked him with a smile on her face.
"Always."