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"Seonsaengnim!" A very well-known voice screams.
Jimin wants to pretend he didn't hear, but it was really loud, he wouldn't fool anybody. He also wants to pretend the voice is calling another person, but Jimin is the only teacher in that corridor.
He has no excuses, so he just turns and sees Yeonjun walking to him, followed by Beomgyu. Like they always do.
"Yes, Yeonjun?"
"Seonsaengnim, the book we need to read for our literature term paper is a Russian book, right? Tell Beomgyu I'm right."
"I'm…" Jimin looks at Yeonjun, lost. The worst part is that Jimin is completely sure Yeonjun is completely serious, even when Beomgyu is trying so hard not to laugh. "I'm your math teacher, Yeonjun. I don't know about your literature assignment."
"But aren't you married to Hoseok-ssi?"
"Yes, but we're not the same person. Why don't you look for Hoseok and ask him directly?"
Yeonjun just looks at Jimin like he's making no sense at all. Beomgyu, the little devil, stopped pretending at this point, laughing really hard, probably at Yeonjun. And also Jimin. He didn’t trust this kid, it reminded him of Jungkook.
"He's in the teacher's room, we can't go in there!"
"You can just call him, Yeonjun…" Jimin barely whispers. He needs to go to the teacher's room, he has so much to do, but these two kids are looking at him, expecting something, and Jimin hates so much how at the end of day he really likes them. "Yes, it's Russian. The author's name is Dostoievski, really."
Of course he always knew about the author and the book. Hoseok didn't shut up about Dostoievski for months.
"I told you!" Yeonjun screams. Beomgyuy laughs harder. "Thanks, Seonsaengnim, you are the best!"
Jimin laughs while they both leave, bickering with each other. Reminds him of Seokjin and Jungkook, in a way.
When Jimin enters the teacher's room, there's only two people. Hoseok, reading yet another foreign book, and Jungkook, looking at Hoseok with heart eyes. Just another normal day.
"Stop being in love with my husband, Kookie," Jimin laughs while filling his mug with coffee.
"I'm not" Jungkook doesn't even flinch, eyes still on Hoseok.
"Honey, don't bother Kookie. Joonie has no classes today, Kookie can't see his beloved history teacher. He's sad."
"You two are the most infuriating couple in the world."
"More than Jin-hyung and Yoongi-hyung?"
"Ok, second most."
Jimin and Hoseok keep laughing at Jungkook until Taehyung arrives and joins them. Jungkook complains about how they're all the worst but neither of them care. Jungkook is the youngest, therefore he must suffer.
It's already late afternoon when Jimin has his last class of the day and he joins Hoseok so they can go back home together. Hoseok had his final class long ago, but he always waits for Jimin, it doesn't matter how long it takes. There's a part of Jimin who feels really bad about this, so he asked Hoseok many times to not wait, but it's no use. The other part really loves to know how much his husband loves him. Jimin likes to feel cared for.
While Jimin drives, he listens to Hoseok talking about the classes he lectured today. Jimin needs to pay attention to the street, but he knows how Hoseok looks beautiful while talking about the shenanigans Beomgyu succeeded putting Soobin on, just to piss off Yeonjun.
It’s because Hoseok always looks beautiful, sure, but he looks especially handsome when he’s talking about something he really loves. Jimin knows that the street lights are shining against Hoseok’s eyes and skin, and he probably looks more handsome than any art Jimin has ever seen.
Once they arrive and enter home, Hoseok is still talking, still smiling, and Jimin is doing the same. He remembers when they first met, when they were both in high school and Hoseok was, by far, the coolest kid around. Maybe Hoseok himself will never agree, but it’s just the truth. Hoseok was the handsome 15 years old, an excellent dancer and so fun to be around, everybody wanted to be him.
Becoming friends with Hoseok was amazing. Falling in love with him was inevitable. Being loved by him is still the best thing that ever happened to Jimin.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Did you hear any words that I said, at least?” Hoseok rolls his eyes but he doesn’t really sound harsh.
Jimin is cheesy. He always is when it's about his husband.
"I love you so much."
They say that to each other daily, and have been saying it for eight years now.
But today is different.
Today, when Jimin says these words, Hoseok's smile fades. Instantly. His eyes become lost, like he's really far away right now, and suddenly everything inside Jimin hurts so much.
"Hobi?" Cold is still there, and it's all Jimin can feel.
"I love you too" is all Hoseok says, like an automatic response sent by a bot, like he's supposed to say that. He doesn't even smile. He excuses himself and leaves Jimin alone in their living room.
There's bile inside Jimin's stomach, desperately asking to go out. Jimin feels cold on every single nerve of his body. His heart might have stopped working and Jimin wouldn't know. His living room feels more empty than ever, and he never felt so lost as he feels now.
Jimin has been living with Hoseok's love for so long that he's afraid he doesn't know how to live without it.
But when he goes to bed, Hoseok is already there. When Jimin lies down, Hoseok hugs his body tightly, making them become a tangled mess, just like they have always been.
It's still kinda cold, Jimin thinks.
But at least Hoseok is still there.
***
"Do you think Hobi is acting differently?" Jimin is sitting by Yoongi's side, who decided to visit his husband's (and best friends’) school for the afternoon.
"He seems ok. Why do you ask?"
Jimin doesn't answer. Four days have passed since the glitch (Jimin decided to call that moment like that) and everything seemed normal again, every single “I love you”, every kiss and every touch. Everything is right again. Still, Jimin can’t forget the way Hoseok’s smile faded that day.
“Jimin?” Yoongi calls him again. Too silent for too long.
“Sorry, I was just thinking. Your soulmate's sense didn’t bip , did it?”
“You’re worrying me. What happened, Jimin?”
“Jimin!” The door opens before Jimin can answer and Hoseok enters with the biggest smile on his face, mouth full heart-shape. “Look, Soobin and Kai just gave me two tickets for a new art and literature on the 19th century exhibition!” Hoseok jumps on Jimin’s lap, waving happily at Yoongi, who still looks worried but apparently will let it slide. “You’re going with me, right?”
“Of course I am!” Jimin isn’t as in love with literature as Hoseok, but he would never say no to his husband. “Whenever you want. Wait, why did Soobin and Kai give it to you?”
“Because I’m their favorite teacher, duh .”
“That’s offensive.”
“Honey, it doesn't matter how much they love you, you still teach math .”
They go to the exhibition next weekend. It’s in a huge place, packed with people that seems too clean for Jimin’s taste, but he doesn’t really care. The only important thing is how much Hoseok is smiling, how they are together holding hands, how everything in the world is sunshine and rainbows. Jimin is happy and in love, has been for eight perfect years because, when he’s by Hoseok’s side, even the hard moments can become the best ones.
“How do you think Soobin and Kai got tickets to this place?” Jimin asks once they’re leaving, hours after visiting every single corner, appreciating every art piece.
“Oh, Kai’s family is… You know. Also, their love language is giving gifts, I can’t even refuse when it’s like that.”
“Oh, you can’t?” Jimin laughs while hugging Hoseok tighter, feeling his husband all around him. Good. Protected. “So, if I say my love language is giving gifts, will you let me buy you that new watch you want so much?”
“First of all, that watch is ridiculously expensive and you know it , we can invest our money on better things. Second, your love language is physical touch and everybody knows.”
“You’re no fun, hyung.”
“Well, the kids love me better, who is the boring one now?” Hoseok can’t help the loud laugh when Jimin hits his arm hard.
“Yes, because they’re not your kids.”
The thing about Jimin and Hoseok is how much they know each other. Not only because they’ve known each other for thirteen years, not only because they’ve been in a romantic relationship for eight years, not only because they’ve been married for five years. They are best friends , the kind you don’t find often, not in every corner. It’s the bond that transcends all the physical and logical explanations and makes them perfect for each other.
When they were still in college and Hoseok overworked himself and his body couldn’t take it, Jimin knew something was wrong before Yoongi’s call from the hospital. When Jimin’s favorite aunt died, Hoseok was hugging him so tight, like he was expecting the bad news. They just always know everything about each other.
What kills Jimin now is watching Hoseok’s smile fading and being replaced by a fake one. Jimin knows all Hoseok’s smiles, and this one is kind of fake when he isn’t comfortable with himself.
Hoseok is hiding something from Jimin.
And Jimin is really afraid to find out what it is.
***
The table is partially covered by papers. Lots and lots of papers. Hoseok is wearing his glasses, his eyebrows frowned for so long that Jimin doesn’t even remember what they look like when he’s not like that. Jimin is also frowning, trying to understand how Soobin could correctly answer the most difficult question on his test, but miss one simple addition problem.
“I swear to you I asked three times if he understood this, because he was doing his Soobin face , you know?” Jimin sighs, feeling a little sad while grading one of his favorite students. “When he seems to be in a completely different world. He said it was ok.”
“It’s math, honey. It’s hard for everyone except you.” Hoseok suddenly hits the table hard, startling Jimin. “I’ll probably freak out if I read another Guernica analysis, I swear. Please, let’s take a break and go to the coffee shop?”
“If you didn’t want to read about Guernica, you shouldn’t have put a question about it on your test.”
“I’m this close to bite you, Park Jimin” Hoseok practically glues his fingers, showing that is too close to bite Jimin.
“You know I’m into love marks, darling.”
“I’m leaving.”
Jimin laughs but follows his husband to the coffee shop, where they sit on a table with a couch, their favorite. Hoseok seems more at ease as he takes a sip of his coffee, closing his eyes to savor it better. Jimin smiles and rests his head on his husband’s shoulders.
It’s always like this.
They have this crazy routine where they are always preparing classes, correcting tests and papers, grading, thinking about the next parents meeting. Sometimes it’s really hard to teach at the same school. Sometimes it’s like everything is work all the time, like it’s completely impossible just to rest. Really rest.
So they do things like this.
They go out together, talk about everything but work, try to remember all that brought them together like they are now. It’s not always easy, but at least they have each other.
“Jimin?” It's just when Hoseok kisses the top of his head that Jimin realizes he was with his eyes closed, sleeping a little. The coffee shop is exactly the same, same lights, same people, and Hoseok’s coffee is still half full, so Jimin assumes he slept for a short period of time. “You wanna go back home? You’re tired.”
“I’m fine” Jimin smiles before straightening his posture and kisses Hoseok’s cheek. “We just arrived, I didn’t even eat my chocolate fudge cake.”
Hoseok chuckles, forgetting his coffee so he can shower Jimin’s face with little, light kisses. Jimin asks him to stop while chuckling, feeling a warmness that has nothing to do with the cozy place they are. It’s just Hoseok, warmer than the sun, brighting Jimin’s life.
Jimin’s life wasn’t grey before meeting Hoseok, but it surely became more colorful since then.
“Honey…” Hoseok’s voice sounds distant, like he’s not sure he wants to talk.
“Baby?”
“You love me, right? And you’ll always love me?”
It’s not like Hoseok to do stuff like this. Not that he doesn’t get insecure from time to time, he’s just human, but this kind of question, almost demanding? Sounds completely out of place. Jimin raises his head, now able to look into Hoseok's eyes. Oddly, all Jimin sees inside his husband’s eyes is fear, cold fear.
“Why are you asking me this?” Jimin feels the same cold.
“It’s just that… I’ve been thinking about this. About us.”
The coffee in Hoseok’s hand is still hot, probably. That coffee shop is their favorite because it’s cozy and warm, they feel almost homey . It’s almost funny how it’s the first time that Jimin thinks he hates here. Because right now all he wants to do is run away, hide in a place where he doesn’t feel so cold.
Jimin remembers the faded smile, the secrets untold, and feels Hoseok’s fear inside himself. Still wants to run away, but he would never run from Hoseok.
“What about us?” his voice sounds frightened, he knows it does. His eyes too, probably, because Hoseok seems to notice, holding Jimin tighter. Reassuring.
“It’s ok, Jimin. Everything is alright, I swear. I love you, very much.”
Jimin believes Hoseok, really does. Everything is alright. They love each other.
Hoseok is warmer than the sun, but even inside his arms, Jimin still feels cold.
***
It was an especially hard day. Jimin loved his students, a lot, but sometimes they just asked for it . So, that day, he spent half his afternoon with Soobin, Taehyun, Huening Kai, Beomgyu and Yeojun at Seokjin’s office because it was always those five. Also, for the first time in forever, Hoseok went home before Jimin.
Things were alright. They really were.
But still.
There’s still that something that Jimin couldn’t quite figure out, but despite that, everything was basically perfect, nothing changed. Except, for the first time, Hoseok went home alone. Earlier. But that too was alright.
Even while Jimin was driving alone, feeling something strange that started in his heart and went all the way down to his stomach.
When Jimin arrives home, though, he is greeted by an amazing, sweet smell. While locking the front door, he frowns. It’s a little early to have dinner, but it doesn’t really smell like dinner. He walks to the living room, finding the couch loaded with pillows and their blanket. The television is on with Jimin’s favorite movie on pause. Waiting for him.
“Hobi-hyung?” Jimin calls his husband, who’s nowhere to be seen.
“Oh, you’re finally home!” Hoseok comes from the kitchen, holding a plate full of hotteoks. He puts it on the coffee table and kisses Jimin’s lips.
“What is going on?” Jimin laughs, feeling good for his husband’s reception. “Is it date night? Did I forget an important day?”
“No, silly” Hoseok laughs and holds Jimin’s hand, dragging them both to the couch. “I just thought I could make something cool for you.”
“Out of nowhere?”
“Yes!” Hoseok still laughs, but when he looks at Jimin, there's uncertainty inside his eyes. “Actually… Jimin, I wanted to talk to you. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this, but I always end up chickening and…”
Fucking finally!
“What is going on, baby?” Jimin’s heart beats fast, fear running within his blood.
“Jimin, I… I love you so much, you’re the person that I love most in the entire world. You make me feel special and loved and even when life is hard, I can smile because you’re by my side” Hoseok holds both Jimin’s hand and, sue him, Jimin starts laughing.
“Hobi, we’re already married, you remember that, right?” Hoseok rolls his eyes at Jimin's joke. It’s not his fault if it’s sounding too much like when somebody asks their significant other in marriage.
“Shut up! What I’m about to say is even more serious than marriage” and Hoseok sounds so serious that Jimin stops laughing, full attention to his husband’s eyes. “We never really talked about this, but the only time we did, we were both on the same page. But since then we have changed a lot, our lives have changed. And I changed my mind.”
“For the love of me, Hoseok, just say whatever it is!”
“I want to have a baby” the words leaves Hoseok’s mouth too quickly, but it kind of sounds in slow motion to Jimin.
Jimin freezes.
Hoseok is looking at him, expectant, worried, afraid. Still he holds Jimin’s hands, but not too tight, so if Jimin wishes, he can easily separate their hands. Because of course Hoseok would let Jimin decide. Of course Hoseok would make it comfortable for Jimin.
Because it’s big. It’s really, really big.
For sure, the only time they talked about kids, none of them wished to ever have one. They already had too much on their jobs, thank you so much. They lived in a one room apartment since they decided they should live together, and sure, they could afford somewhere bigger, but they’ve been living there for so long and so comfortably. And they couldn’t really conceive a baby, so they would have do adopt one, and Jimin was really nervous just to think about choosing a human being and-
“Jimin, breathe, please.”
He does. His lungs hurt.
Hoseok is not smiling, still looking afraid. Still holds Jimin’s hands, though.
A baby. How will they ever find a baby? They'll probably adopt a bigger kid, maybe around two, three years old. And moving out, because they have just one room, and the kid will need to have one just for them. Oh, and they’ll have to buy so much stuff for the kid, and they’ll have to rethink the number of classes they both teach, and send the kid to school. Also, they can’t move to just anywhere, it has to be a good neighborhood, where their baby can make good friends where they’ll grow up happy and healthy and-
They have so much to do.
And why is Jimin thinking like he already said yes?
“I know it’s big, baby” Hoseok’s thumb caresses his hand, soft. “I know there’s so many things to think about, and that our lives will change completely, but I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and I’m sure that it’s what I want the most. And I want that with you.”
Jimin is afraid. And he can see why Hoseok has been, too.
It’s huge, it’s frightening, it’ll change their lives completely, forever.
Jimin looks inside Hoseok’s eyes, looks at their intertwined hands, looks around at their live room. And he imagines. He imagines a little kid sitting between them. He imagines the kid at Hoseok’s lap, they both laugh because the kid would be just like Hoseok. Happy, warmer than the sun. And then they would hug Jimin and the three of them would play and laugh together because, just like Jimin, the kid would be sweet and playful.
And even when they are really tired, they would smile to each other while kissing their baby to sleep. And it would be so exhausting, but it would be their family .
Big, happy family.
“Ok” Jimin finally says, and Hoseok seems confused. “We can do it. We can have a baby.”
Hoseok seems startled, like he didn’t expect Jimin to accept this so easily. Honestly, neither did Jimin. But the more he thinks, the more it sounds right. And then Hoseok’s eyes are wet, filled with tears.
“Jimin, are you serious? Do you really mean it?”
“This is not something I would joke about, baby. I’m terrified as fuck, and there’s so much we need to talk about before really do it, but I think I want it. I want to have a kid. I want us to be dads.”
When Hoseok hugs Jimin, it’s too tight, too desperate, and Jimin can feel Hoseok’s tears wetting his neck and his shirt. He feels his own tears wetting Hoseok’s hair. They cry and they laugh because it’s completely crazy.
Because they’ll have a baby.
Maybe in one year, maybe more. Maybe less. But soon enough, it won’t be just the two of them. But most of all, Jimin smiles, happier than ever, completely in love with Hoseok and with his life.