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Elain closed the door.
The sound of the white-painted wooden door closing resounded in the stifling silence of the house. The speed of snow falling on Velaris increased, the wind howling a muffled song behind the sturdy windows, not enough to drown out the deep, clear voice that rang in Elain's ears.
This was a mistake.
Her fingers gripped the doorknob, gripping it so hard it hurt now. Ice rushing over his broken heart shattered her ribcage. Her eyes, wandering around the dark room, burned as if betraying her.
This was a mistake.
What happened? What mistake had she made that he backed off? Had she done something that hurt him? Did it make him feel wrong? While thousands of thoughts and images were running through the young woman's mind, her knees betrayed her, as did her eyes, and she sank to the bottom of the white door.
A thumping sound was heard from the wood as her fingers hung on the doorknob ripped and fell beside her. The only thing that witnessed the tears she shed in the darkness of the room assigned to her was the crescent moon hanging in the sky.
She wasn't hiccuping, no. After all, Elain hadn't sobbed in a long time. Ever since that goddamn day, when only she was alone, when there was no one, it had flowed like a string of tears.
As if she could quench the fire in the middle of her chest.
They did not understand her. They were keeping her away. "You will suffer a loss." She was really into her work helping the old fairies in Velaris to set up the gardens. She was trying to be with them -especially Feyre- during the difficult process that Feyre and Rhys were going through, and she was personally growing herbs in her garden to prepare soothing teas for herself in her painful days. Her wasn't offended by that, for sure. But it wasn't enough, she couldn't help thinking that it wasn't enough. When she really wanted to do something, she was pushed back like a child.
There was only one person. There was only one person who saw her as she was, who was not ashamed to share her quiet friendship and peace, and who understood. She had the feeling that she couldn't even think of his name, that she could see his deepest in his hazel eyes every time he looked at her...
Now he wasn't there either.
She reached for the small necklace she wore around her neck. The necklace's thin chain was wet with her tears. Elain could have sworn she still felt the cold imprint of his palms on her neck. They were so close, they had never been this close before. Even though their hands were touching and their eyes were always hanging on each other, that moment was different.
She could see that his scent was getting darker, and his eyes were screaming with desire and need even in the darkness. Every second she got close to he bosom was so hot and attractive that she didn't even care to be burned to ashes like a moth whirling around the fire. She didn't even care about her goddamn 'mate' sleeping in one of the upstairs rooms.
She just wanted him. She wanted his warmth, his reassuring arms, his cold hands running over her body, and his sinful lips on her own.
Elain laughed bitterly.
When did her wishes matter? When was she allowed to go in the direction she chose?
This was a mistake.
Elain put her hands behind her hair and unbuckled the necklace. She took the elegant and thoughtful necklace in her palm. She ignored the indescribable emptiness in her neck and the pain in her chest. She looked sadly at the necklace's little stained-glass rose glowing in the moonlight. Raising her head to the side of the window, she saw a silhouette that fluttered rapidly throughout the night. She continued to watch that silhouette lost in the clouds even when he was not there.
The delicate and bright little rosebush that her broken heart had hidden inside dried up before it even grew.