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“I like you,” he blurts out one unseasonably cold afternoon.
Hinata blanches. Kei actually watches the color drain from his face and he regrets his words immediately, he wants to go back in time and kill himself before he can say those three stupid words.
“What?”
Kei’s face screws into something hurt and disgusted all at the same time. Hinata was giving him an out, an easy way to say that he was just kidding or joking or trying to bully him, and he’d be a fool not to take the out that was given to him.
“Nothing,” he says, immediately turning around to walk the opposite direction. Tadashi and Hitoka would forgive him for disappearing and Kageyama wouldn’t care. He trusted Hinata enough to know that he wouldn’t tell what just happened.
“Wait,” Hinata reaches out and grabs his arm before he can get away. “Wait,” he says again.
Kei waits.
But Hinata doesn’t speak, he simply looks up at him with confused but bright eyes and Kei knows that he can’t wait that much longer.
He feels himself start to fidget until Hinata’s grasp and Hinata tightens his grip on his coat.
“Wait,” he says a third time and Kei knows that Hinata isn’t smart but he also knows that when it comes to people he isn’t dumb so for this to take so long to process he much have broken something in his brain along the way.
Kei purposefully relaxes his arm so Hinata relaxes his grip. As soon as his hand slackens he pulls his arm away. “Forget about it.”
He starts to walk away but he knows that Hinata is faster than him, even if he were to run Hinata would catch up, even without his bike there was no way that Hinata would lose him. His only chance of escaping was if Hinata willingly let him go, and judging by how long it was taking his words to sink in, Hinata might let him.
The worst part was he didn’t know if he wanted to be chased after or let go.
The romantic part of him, a side he likes to pretend doesn’t exist, wants Hinata to chase after him even if it is just to reject his confession or ask if this is just some sick attempt at bullying him. The rational part of him wants Hinata to leave him alone so he can go home and pretend that this never happened.
He doesn’t hear the sound of footsteps behind him or the squeak of Hinata’s old bicycle. He stuffs his disappointment down where he doesn’t have to deal with it. Maybe when he’s much older and in therapy he can open the box again but for now it can sit with the rest of his childhood traumas and anxieties.
At least, he doesn’t hear anything until he turns onto his street. And then he hears “Tsukishimaaaa” in Hinata’s unbelievably loud voice.
Kei stops in his tracks but doesn’t turn around.
Hinata zooms right past him on his bike and then shoves his feet into the ground to try and stop himself. When he’s fully stopped he hops off the bike, letting it fall to the ground on the side of the road, and he marches right up to Kei who still feels like he can’t move.
“I told you to wait.”
Kei almost laughs but it would have been a nervous sort of chuckle and he was never one to show weakness, especially in front of Hinata. “I wasn’t going to wait forever.”
“You could have given me a minute.”
“If I gave you a minute you would have taken ten.” He did, in fact, take ten, judging by how long it took him to catch up.
Hinata crosses his arms and huffs, “That’s not fair. You can’t just say things like that out of the blue.”
Kei looks away, “Forget about it.”
“There’s something you should know about me,” Hinata says over him, barreling over any dissenting opinion.
He remains quiet, letting Hinata have the time to say his piece.
Hinata looks at his shoes and kicks at the ground before looking up at Kei with determined eyes and squinting into the setting sunlight, “I don’t,” he starts and stops, “I don’t,” he says again but doesn’t get any farther.
Kei sighs and looks away, “It’s fine if you don’t like guys,”
Hinata kicks his shin, “That’s not it Stupid-shima, let me talk. Everyone thinks I’m immature.”
“You are immature.”
Judging by the look that crosses his face it was the wrong thing to say. Hinata takes another moment to get his words in order and Kei lets him, no longer keen on running away from the conversation.
“I may be immature,” he says slowly after a long pause. He has Kei’s complete attention, “But only because I like childish things and not because I’m not interested in,” he pauses again and his face turns red, “adult things.”
“Oh.”
Hinata squares his shoulders and stands up a little straighter like he’s preparing for a fight, “It’s called asexual and–”
“--I know what it’s called,” he cuts him off, “I’m not interested in sex either.”
Hinata blinks at him, “What?”
Kei rolls his eyes, “I said I’m not interested in sex either. I never have been, although no one has ever accused me of being immature so I think that’s just a you problem.”
“Is that why you always reject girls when they confess to you?”
He shakes his head, “I’m not interested in girls. Maybe you forgot that I told you that I liked you,” he feels his cheeks heat up at the confession, “But I’m only romantically interested in guys. I don’t want to sleep with them but I still like them.”
Hinata nods his head eagerly, “I know what you mean.”
“So?” he asks.
“So?”
Kei pinches the bridge of his nose, “Forget it. I’m not confessing to you a third time.”
Hinata’s hand reaches out and grabs the hem of his shirt, “Wait,” he says again, like Kei hasn’t been waiting since the first time he uttered those stupid words, “It’s not that I don’t like you. I’ve never thought about it. I,” he rubs the back of his head with his free hand, “I always think people won’t want to date me when they find out Ii’m asexual so I try to avoid getting crushes.”
“You can’t avoid crushes.”
“Can too.” He says automatically, “I try not to think about people, like, romantically, y’know? But, do you want,” he screws his face up like he was trying to solve a particularly tricky math problem, “do you want to go on a date? And try?”
“Um,” he says eloquently.
Hinata lets go of his shirt and waves both hands around frantically, “I’m not trying to lead you on, it’s why I don’t date. But I think I could really like you.”
Kei feels himself blush at his words, “Okay,” he says eventually, “Yeah, let’s try.”