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it was cold, snow brushing against her bare skin. it was loud, the sounds of distant sirens and hundreds of people running from place to place as they screamed incoherent to her ears barely holding it in. her eyes flutter open, in the middle of the night the sky was black with hundreds of stars illuminating the snow. her views were blurred as a blizzard was occurring. her body felt numb, a rush of headache kept coming as her throat felt sore. despite being in the dark, everything was way too bright, too loud, she wants them to stop.
then she felt a hand caressing her cheek, a pair of eyes locked into hers, a voice spoken for her,
“senti . . . ”
the cold went away as she noticed the warmth where her bare skin was covered with her clothes. the loud noises were silent, reduced to only her voice. the pitch black sky was overshadowed by her radiant glow, a smile of relief paired with concerned eyes. but her eyes were stinging and her throat threatens to cry.
a body.
with her own senses.
she can feel the warmth with her own body, the sounds with her own ears, the look of her blue eyes bore deeply with her own ruby eyes. her eyes were stinging, tears threatened to spill. her heart was clenching itself as her throat yearns to scream.
a body.
one which able to experience the world with her.
her eyes as blue as the sea was filled with worry, a pair of hands noticeably trembling, holding her tightly on her lap, mouth mumbling words inaudible for her newborn ears, her messy hair drawn loosely to her front and back, her face was painted with blood, drops of blood spilling from her forehead dripped to her cheek, she was wounded, she was hurt.
“old timer . . . are you hurt . . ?”
her hand tried moving for the first time to touch the other’s cheek, her first words from her own mouth.
and she was glad it was for her.
sharing a body with her is nice, sharing thoughts with her is nice, but having a body to see her, to hear her, to feel her, was different.
when her eyes remained closed, her body remained as still as rock, her voice silent nowhere to be heard, hua could feel her whole body frozen and her hand was sweating, engulfed in fear, not daring to move an inch as hope slowly drifted within her grasp. she could smell nothing but blood on her own body, and see nothing but a soulless body. hua kept calling her, her name, in hope she would wake up, in hope her sacrifices weren’t in vain. though no sacrifices are comparable to her, she would do anything to bring her here, give her a body to feel, to see, to think for her own. hua knows how it feels to be caged, how as a soldier she didn’t allow herself to think, to place an opinion, to move freely, unbound to any responsibilities. she does not wish senti to feel the dread she once felt, the suffocating cage she once put on herself. she wishes senti to explore the world on her own, feel the taste of warm noodle broth on her own, to feel grass tickling her skin on her own, to feel the warmth radiating from campfires on her own. whether it be with her or not, hua wishes nothing but freedom for the one she cherished the most.
she prayed, prayed, and prayed, her palm clenching tighter to her body. maybe it was the cold, maybe it was the freezing blizzard making her unwilling to move her body, maybe it was the bright lights and the sound of sirens making her unwilling to open her eyes, or maybe it was her rash action and decision making her unwilling to talk to her, but hua doesn’t care. she would take hundreds of punches as long as she wakes up. she would apologize thousands as long as she talks to her, she would take anything, do anything, as long as she gets a second chance, a brand new start.
and so she did, senti’s eyes fluttered open, her face was showing signs of uneasiness as hua thought it was the overwhelming presence of the world. she took off her coat, letting herself be drowned by the freezing cold as it eats away her body, as long as senti is warm, she was willing to do anything. hua’s heart felt like it was forced to melt, a gasp of relief finally freed itself from the tight grip of her throat, her eyes now gleaming with hope as she can now see the body on her lap that was once remained frozen, now moving bit by bit.
“please don’t worry about me, senti, you’re here, you’re actually here . . . “
hua said as if she was in disbelief, the moment she had longed for has finally come, she is safe now, in her arms, she wouldn’t let anyone hurt her. her eyes felt heavy as tears started spilling down uncontrollably. she then promised to herself she would take her to feel wonders of the world, travel together, eat together, she would guide her to everything that she hasn’t experienced. or simply, let her choose those or doing them without her. going to places on her own, feeling the softness of mochi on her own, meeting new people on her own. she doesn’t mind, as long as she’s happy, with a body that was gifted to her.
but senti isn’t like that at all, the moment she saw hua crying with her own eyes for the very first time, she wanted nothing but to comfort her, that she didn’t notice tears were coming out of her eyes as well, her first tears. she wanted nothing than to experience the world with hua, to move from place to place as she hold her hand tightly with hua, to eat her favorite food with hua, or simply, do nothing, even if the world keeps moving forward each second and they were doing absolutely nothing but being in complete silence as they sit and watch everything revolve without them, senti doesn’t mind, as long as she’s with her.
both of them were selfish, thinking for their own happiness. hua wishes senti’s happiness whether it be with her or not because it would bring endless joy to hua herself, not knowing that senti would trade everything including herself if it means she could be with hua. the world means nothing to her without the one that she holds dear the most.
but none of them matters now, in the middle of a blizzard, in the middle of an after war, they have each other, a warm presence of each other, nothing else matters. after this they would go home and start everything from zero, a future yet to unfold.
“i’m here, it will be okay, you will be okay . . . “
senti felt a kiss to her head, fingers brushed her hair lightly, a tender pair of hands hugged her closely as tight as to never let go, her body barely apart from hers,
senti moved her hands to hug her back, their forehead touching with each other, finally reciprocated the hug,
she felt warm, she felt fond, she wished this moment would last forever. it was warm, how their body locked into each other like long lost puzzle pieces, it was fond.
it was their first embrace.