Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Salutations and greetings to you, esteemed reader,

I am Roswaal L. Mathers, respected lord of the flawless Roswaal Mansion, benevolent margrave of the immeasurable Mathers domain, unparalleled court mage of the fearsome Dragon Kingdom of Lugunica… and currently the magical studies instructor and homeroom teacher of Class 2 at Iseki High School. Alas, how far I have fallen… But please, pay no mind to my musings. All proceeds according to plan, despite this minor setback.

The journal entries which follow detail a series of observations I have made regarding my students during their time at Iseki High thus far, in order to assist my fellow faculty members and, should I regrettably perish in this foreign land, my replacement as their homeroom teacher. While these observations do not constitute official school rules and regulations, I strongly recommend that they be followed to the letter, as failure to do so may result in disruption of class at best, and the fracturing of time and space at worst.

With all of this in mind, I humbly thank you for taking the time to read this journal, and sincerely hope it assists you in ensuring that each and every student of Class 2 receives the most superb education this modest school can offer.

All the best,

Roswaal L. Mathers

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Subaru’s Past

It is imperative that Subaru Natsuki’s past experiences in the Kingdom of Lugunica not be discussed directly with him unless he is entirely comfortable in doing so. As I myself can personally attest, he harbors intense trauma regarding his time in Lugunica and may experiences flashbacks or panic attacks if questioned about certain events.

Thankfully, after witnessing his first panic attack, which I foolishly provoked by mentioning the events of the Sanctuary, Subaru’s classmates have become very accommodating of him and no longer seem intent on prying into his mysterious past without his permission. The only exceptions to this are the Floor Guardians of Nazarick, as their traditionally inhuman nature hampers their ability to feel empathy for human or mortal beings, though Ainz Ooal Gown has warned them that there will be dire consequences should they intentionally antagonize Subaru.

Should Subaru experience a panic attack regardless, the most important thing to do is to ground him, usually by allowing someone he knows and trusts to carefully approach him and attempt to soothe or calm him down until he returns to reality. If he attempts to harm himself during such an attack, he is to be restrained with as little force as possible, as a stronger approach will only increase his distress. Thus far, the list of people Subaru trusts implicitly while in this state includes Miss Emilia, Beatrice, Kazuma Sato, and Ainz Ooal Gown. Strangely, he remains apprehensive of both Puck and Rem, though I have several theories as to why…

Reflectively,

Roswaal L. Mathers

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Tanya’s Sleeping Habits

If you should discover Tanya von Degurechaff sleeping on the couch in the teachers’ lounge, do your best not to disturb her, as it makes her far more irritable than usual. Brigadier General Rerugen has speculated that she suffers from severe insomnia, as evidenced by her over-reliance on caffeine and general lack of energy. This theory is corroborated by Major Degurechaff’s adjutant, Viktoriya Serebryakov, who has previously stated that the Major often gets up in the middle of the night to perform weapon maintenance or check over paperwork unnecessarily.

Brigadier General Rerugen has further speculated that her insomnia is a result of anxiety, though he has been unable to determine the cause beyond the usual stresses of military life and theorizes that the teachers’ lounge is a place where she feels safe enough to sleep defenselessly. Of course, when I implied to him the possibility that she felt secure because he was usually in the lounge during the free periods she sleeps through, he vehemently denied it, and claimed he still viewed her as a “devil in a child’s body”. I do wonder about that… after all, someone keeps putting a blanket over her while she rests, and I can’t very well imagine Vanir or Kyouhukou being the one to show such concern. Perhaps I am witnessing the making of a “tsundere”?

Personally, I theorize that Major Degurechaff’s anxieties stem from her experiences with the deity she refers to as “Being X”, though of course she denies any such weakness and claims nothing but hatred toward it (him?). Thankfully, I was able to confirm with Chris and Ristarte that deities existing outside the current world cannot directly interfere with it or its inhabitants, though the Major still seems to be able to call upon Being X’s power when under sufficient duress. This begs further study, ideally without calling the Major’s cosmically powered ire upon myself…

Restfully,

Roswaal L. Mathers

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Satoru Suzuki

Despite being listed on all official documentation as Satoru Suzuki, never refer to Ainz as such during class, unless you want to deal with several confused and angry Floor Guardians. Much to my annoyance, Ainz still has yet to explain his true origins to his Guardians, preferring to keep up the façade of the all-knowing undead monarch, so for the time being, referring to him by the name of a “mere human” provokes indignation among his followers, which can be highly disruptive.

Should you make the mistake of calling upon Satoru rather than Ainz, the quickest manner in which to appease his angered Guardians is to either feign ignorance or, failing that, to correct yourself with “most benevolent Lord Ainz Ooal Gown the Sorcerer King” or some other such overtly grandiloquent reference. If you can stomach it, prostrating yourself or bowing can also assist in convincing the Guardians to forgive your “transgression”. It is fortunate that all six are under the mistaken impression that all other beings believe in their master’s superiority, and thus will easily believe one who apologizes for their own inferiority when compared to him; after all, to them it is the only logical course of action.

Outside of class, Ainz appears to be slowly becoming accustomed to being referred to as Satoru, if only by his fellow Japanese summons and reincarnates, as well as others already “in the know” about his situation; Tanya in particular refers to him almost exclusively as Satoru, likely due to feeling some kinship with him as a fellow former salaryman. I believe the reason behind this development is that Ainz feels that by using his human name, he is reclaiming some of the humanity he believes he has lost. Ironically, the fact that he fears losing his humanity to such a degree implies he never truly lost it in the first place.

It is also worthy of note that, despite his position as a Floor Guardian, Mare has begun to pick up the habit of occasionally referring to Ainz as Satoru as well, finding the name to be “nice”, if a bit strange.

Reverently,

Roswaal L. Mathers

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Kazuma’s Health

In the event that Kazuma is severely injured, Lady Aqua should be summoned immediately. Much to my surprise, the boy shows nearly as little concern for his own safety and well-being as Subaru, and thus is highly prone to injury.

As opposed to Subaru’s lack of concern for himself, which is due to barely suppressed feelings of worthlessness, Kazuma’s seems to be based on the sheer number of deaths and near-death experiences he has survived, instilling in him great confidence in his ability to continue to survive most anything. Unfortunately, as a result of him being summoned to this new world, his previously high Luck statistic, which enabled him to survive most of his experiences, is in a constant state of flux; one moment he may quite literally dodge a bullet, the next he may trip over his own feet and nearly impale himself on a pair of craft scissors. Despite numerous warnings from Chris regarding this development, Kazuma remains overly confident in his own abilities, putting himself in precarious situations with little to no forethought.

Fortunately, in addition to her impressive healing abilities, Lady Aqua has also demonstrated comprehensive knowledge of Kazuma’s medical history and health requirements; during one particular incident, in which Kazuma attempted to hotwire one of Major Degurechaff’s hover boots, resulting in him falling off the roof and breaking one of his legs, Aqua prevented Wiz from administering a minor painkiller that apparently would have resulted in a severe allergic reaction, something that none of the faculty had been previously informed of. Naturally, once the boy recovered, he was given a stern lecture courtesy of Vanir and forced to finish filling out all of the medical paperwork he had previously neglected to submit, as failure to properly treat an injured student under this school’s care could result in charges of criminal negligence… and, I suppose, Kazuma suffering further harm would also be inconvenient.

Please note that if Aqua is for some reason unavailable, Chris is a suitable substitute, possessing similar knowledge of Kazuma’s medical needs, though her healing abilities are far less substantial. Both Aqua and Chris’s mobile phone numbers are listed under Kazuma’s emergency contacts in his student file, though for efficiency’s sake it is better to simply use a teleportation or similar spell to summon them to his location.

Exasperatedly,

Roswaal L. Mathers

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Nutcrackers

Do not use nutcrackers as holiday decorations on campus, or at the very least, do not let Major Degurechaff see them.

As I was unfortunate enough to discover the previous holiday season, the form Being X most frequently appeared to the Major in was that of a painted wooden nutcracker, which has caused her to associate the rather delightful figurines with the hated deity’s presence and develop an instinctive reaction of destroying nutcrackers whenever she sees them, using whatever method available. This is also why her submachine gun is now required to be kept in the school armory during class periods. Despite this limitation, her creativity in inventing new methods with which to destroy harmless wooden toys proved to be most admirable; at one point she managed to decapitate one placed on my desk from across the room with a magically charged paperclip.

Thankfully, while still not quite certain of their commander’s reason behind harboring a violent hatred for nutcrackers, the other members of the Major’s battalion have taken it upon themselves to ensure that not a single one is unfortunate enough to cross her path. Their efforts were, in particular, very much appreciated during the first misguided attempt at an Iseki High Holiday Festival, as Wiz had made the mistake of ordering numerous nutcrackers to use in the decorations. First Lieutenant Serebryakov and Major Weiss’ plan of using the offending figurines as targets for a shooting gallery booth to appeal to the Major’s thirst for vengeance was a truly laudable stroke of genius.

Merrily,

Roswaal L Mathers

Postscript

Please note that the fact that I received a substantial portion of the proceeds from the Major’s numerous attempts at the aforementioned shooting gallery has no bearing on my considering it a “stroke of genius”.

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Winter

During the winter months, take care to observe Kazuma, Miss Emilia, and Subaru for signs of mental or emotional distress. All three students harbor trauma relating to ice, snow, and low temperatures, albeit to varying degrees.

Of the three, Miss Emilia is the only one whose trauma I can personally attest to. Her imprisonment in ice for nearly a century, as well as the freezing of Elior Forest and its inhabitants, caused her to harbor intense feelings of both guilt and fear regarding herself and her abilities. Puck’s overprotectiveness did not help either, as being unable to access her full memories prevented her from moving on. Fortunately, thanks to the restoration of her memories, her somewhat recent successes in the Trials of the Sanctuary, and Subaru’s continued support, she seems to have regained much confidence in herself, but there is still the possibility of a relapse into old habits, small as it may be.

Kazuma has been surprisingly open about his own trauma regarding the winter season, even joking about it at his own expense, though much like Subaru I suspect this is a diversionary tactic. As he has told the story, during an encounter with a powerful spirit known as the Winter Shogun, he failed to appease it and was unceremoniously beheaded, only escaping his death due to the intervention of Lady Aqua. He refuses to elaborate any further, as do his party members. Based on prior knowledge of the boy, I speculate experiencing a second death so soon after being summoned to a new world instilled a very real fear of being separated from his loved ones once more.

As always, Subaru’s trauma remains the most mysterious, though there are several pieces of information from which to theorize. The most I have gathered is that it bears a striking similarity to Kazuma’s experience with the Winter Shogun, albeit, as he puts it, “far less pleasant”. This, coupled with his previously mentioned apprehension regarding Puck, a Fire Spirit capable of absorbing enough heat to quite literally bring about the end of the world, leads me to believe there was a conflict between the two that ended poorly for young Subaru. Of course, if such a thing had occurred, surely, I would recall it myself, yes? Ah well, perhaps another Roswaal would…

Should any of the students listed begin showing signs of distress, the important things are to keep them calm and keep them warm. Distracting them with inane conversation is an excellent calming technique, especially if administered by someone they trust implicitly. Those trusted by Subaru are listed under the entry “Subaru’s Past”, so I shall not list them here. As for the other two, Miss Emilia is most comforted by either Subaru or Puck, though due to the aforementioned circumstances Puck is the most viable, and for Kazuma any of his party members will do, as well as, once more, Subaru. Please note that if both Kazuma and Subaru show signs of distress, while each implicitly trusts the other, do not be tempted to put them together, as when distressed they tend to feed into each other’s anxiety, merely exacerbating the situation.

As for warmth, thanks to Vanir, Iseki High is in possession of several high-quality kotatsu tables which are both difficult to extricate oneself from and perfect for students recovering from a chill. A hot beverage such as tea or cocoa is also ideal, particularly if one can, for lack of a better term, “guilt-trip” Sir Naofumi into preparing it.

Chillingly,

Roswaal L. Mathers

Postscript

Following a recent incident involving Subaru and Kazuma, which much to my annoyance I am prohibited from speaking on due to so-called “privacy concerns”, most of the class, with the exception of one or two Floor Guardians, have agreed among themselves to keep an eye on their more vulnerable classmates in future. CZ2128 Delta of Class 1, oddly, also volunteered, despite her fellow Pleiades’ misgivings. Whether this is simply in the hopes of getting in Puck’s good graces due to her love of felines, or some other motivation, remains to been seen, though the gesture is appreciated, nonetheless.

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It is highly recommended to keep a small supply of snacks rich in nutrients, such as protein bars, on hand during classes, as several students in Class 2 are known to have poor eating habits and may show low energy and other signs of malnutrition which are detrimental to learning. It is also highly recommended that you do not allow the offending student(s) to participate in class until the food they have been presented with is finished, as an incentive for them to cooperate.

During one of our Magic Studies classes, Major Degurechaff passed out at her desk, forcing me to excuse First Lieutenant Serebryakov to be excused to carry her to the nurse’s office… though the rest of her battalion plus Kazuma followed and by that point it seemed more prudent to simply end the class early. Upon waking, Major Degurechaff was questioned to determine the cause of her falling unconscious, to which she did not respond… however, First Lieutenant Serebryakov was able to offer that the Major had been skipping meals for the past week, which pointed to the cause being malnutrition. Wiz was able to corroborate this theory by pointing out that Major Degurechaff was already underweight according to the results of her last physical, and that continuing to skip meals would only further endanger her health. I would also note this point in the conversation is where Kazuma conveniently made himself absent.

At first, I will admit, I was at a loss for what to do with this information, as it is imperative that my students’ health be maintained, and while Kyohukou suggested extreme methods such as force-feeding, I feared that such measures would only be detrimental in the long run. Thankfully, during homeroom the following day, Subaru brought up something one of his elementary school teachers did when children forgot to eat or were not fed before arriving, providing them with snacks kept in a drawer in their desk for just such occasions. He also, rather unsubtly, provided that when such children were particularly stubborn they were told they could not participate in class until they had finished eating.

Imagine Major Degurechaff’s displeasure when, during the following afternoon’s Magic Studies class, after she momentarily passed out again, I offered her one of several protein bars I had purchased the evening prior and informed her that she would not be participating until it was eaten; if she had learned to produce magical force from her eyes I would no doubt have been incinerated on the spot, given the intensity of her glare. Thankfully, First Lieutenant Serebryakov was on hand to ensure she kept her word, even if it did take the entire hour of class time; its smouldering wrapper was deposited in the wastebasket with a level of ire normally reserved for only the greatest enemies of the Empire. Burning trash in the classroom is also against school rules, I found it prudent to remind her.

Thanks to some collaboration with Wiz and Vanir, as well as the questioning of several other students, I was able to learn that Kazuma and Shalltear were similarly underweight during their previous physical examinations, and also show similar habits of skipping meals for arbitrary reasons. Needless to say, they also looked rather betrayed when presented with spoils from the Snack Drawer the following day, though they also did not lose consciousness at any point during class, so I consider this a victory overall.

Contentedly,

Roswaal L. Mathers

Postscript

Please keep in mind that not all students in Class 2 are standard humanoids, and as such I recommend keeping a wider assortment of snacks stockpiled depending on their needs. The only unusual addition I have made thus far was several bags of pigs’ blood for Shalltear, though she continues to complain about the taste, conveniently ignoring that pigs’ blood is all she has consumed since she arrived in this world anyway.

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The Future

Students originating from different time periods, such as the distant future, are permitted to discuss historical events with each other, as most originate from alternate timelines, and thus any information gained likely will not apply to their own.

During a particular discussion between Kazuma, Major Degurechaff, Ainz, and Subaru, the point was raised that since Ainz originates from Japan’s dismal future, he could inform the other three about the events that led to such a poisoned world and allow them to prevent them, should they be returned to their home country one day. This led to a more heated discussion about the possible ramifications of such actions, including creating a branching timeline or even potentially erasing Ainz himself. Thankfully, this discussion became loud enough to be overheard by a passing Naofumi, who was able to provide some much-needed insight.

According to Naofumi, when he was first summoned as one of the Four Legendary Heroes, there were some notable discrepancies between them, specifically in regards to historical knowledge and cultural references, despite all being Japanese men from the twenty-first century. Through comparisons of bank notes each had on hand, among other things, they were able to confirm that, while they all came from the same time and place, each of them was actually from an alternate timeline where events progressed with only slight differences, leading to things such as certain characters in films being played by different actors, or a different prime minister being elected and thus featured on bank notes.

With this knowledge in mind, Naofumi suggested the four compare notes to see whether or not the past of Ainz’s Japan aligned with the present of everyone else’s Japan, as well as whether the remaining trio were from the same Japan. To a mix of delight and dismay, through the outcomes of several historical elections remembered by both Major Degurechaff and Ainz, they were able to confirm that Ainz originated from an alternate timeline, and thus any future information he could provide would not be applicable in their present. This allayed any fears that they might alter any timelines through knowledge gained from conversing with Ainz, intentionally or otherwise.

Predictably,

Roswaal L. Mathers

Postscript

After determining that they and Ainz originated from alternate timelines, Kazuma, Major Degurechaff, and Subaru attempted to determine the same between themselves, but were unable to locate any discrepancies between their timelines over the course of the next hour. While all three continue to question this and will occasionally ask additional questions to confirm whether or not they truly do originate from the same timeline, Kazuma has readily accepted the possibility and declared his desire to move in order to attend school with Subaru should they be returned to Japan. Major Degurechaff, meanwhile, remains skeptical, but nevertheless has begun drafting plans for what to do should this prove to be the case.