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Lily wasn’t sure why she didn’t go home for Christmas. Her heart ached for the missed time with her parents and Tuney, and her stomach grumbled in protest of missing her mum’s sticky toffee pudding. But it was tradition for the seventh years to stay over break to bask in the magic of the castle for the last time – at least worry-free as their N.E.W.T.s would take over their lives soon. For the break, they were the kings and queens that Hogwarts crowned.
And there was that blooming party.
Although those reasons weren’t the entire truth as to why she decided to stay, Lily didn’t let herself dwell on that. Instead, she thought back to that party.
As Head Girl, she knew she shouldn’t go.
As a seventeen-year-old girl, she wanted to.
And Marlene didn’t have to do much convincing at all.
“You’re off duty,” she’d said. “Besides, if the Head Boy is going, then you can go. And James will definitely go.”
Lily hadn’t said anything about the way her stomach had leapt.
After hours, even days of fighting with how much she wanted to go to the party, Lily finally stood in front of the mirror while she waited for Marlene. Her reflection stared back at her, eyeing the length of the dress that hit her mid-thigh. She’d wanted to curl her hair, make it swoop in elegant waves, but she ran out of time after pacing across the dormitory twenty minutes too long. Instead, the auburn locks settled over her shoulder all the way down to her midriff. The cabernet tones of the wandering paisley pattern of her dress accentuated her bright green eyes, and the subtlety of the red-wine hues contrasted with the smooth pale skin of her legs until her black boots hit her ankles.
“You look lush!” cried Marlene from the door. “James is going to be drooling at your feet all night.”
Shivers trailed down Lily’s back. With the winter chill, it was best that she wear her leather jacket, too. “Please.” She rolled her eyes and flipped her mane behind. “That ship never took off.”
Marlene held the door open, letting Lily through before saying, “You’re running out of time to make your catch. There are only a few more months for you and James to get together.”
They walked through the portrait hole, the last Gryffindor seventh years to leave for the party.
Lily put her arm out, stopping Marlene before going down the staircases. “I don’t want to hear it, Mar. He doesn’t take anything seriously. He’s so full of himself. It’s never going to go anywhere. There’s a reason he’s a Chaser. He likes to chase.”
“Fine. But try to have fun tonight, alright? It’s the last chance before exams suck the life out of us.”
Lily laughed. “Trust me, all I want is a good start to the New Year.”
There was buzzing in the castle’s atmosphere despite how deserted it was. The seventh years’ New Years’ Eve party was a long-held tradition. No one ever knew who organised it. It would start with whispers fluttering about the castle like wisps of smoke that made their way until the entire year knew to go to the seventh-floor corridor on December 31st, which was strange because the seventh-floor corridor didn’t have more than a broom cupboard and that odd tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. But, like all of Hogwarts’ greatest features, it was best if kept secret. Without dwelling on what exactly they would find at the meeting place, Lily and Marlene made their way.
Marlene gushed about Finn until they reached the corridor – empty save for the massive iron-wrought door that Lily was sure she had never seen once before. Casting sideways glances at each other, the pair inched forward until the double door panels swung open to consume them.
Marlene gawked as they stepped in. “This is fab! How is this here?”
Like her, Lily couldn’t fathom where she had walked into. Instead of the brown stone walls of the castle, there were mirrors from floor to ceiling which seemed to stretch even higher than the Great Hall’s did, up into the sky where stars were speckled like twinkling dust. And yet, it couldn’t possibly be the actual sky as silver orbs floated high above them, deflecting rays of blue, green, purple, yellow light that hit the faces and bodies of students dancing to the music.
“Where are we?”
“ That is not the important question.”
Lily swivelled to her right, seeing James’ tousled hair as if he’d just stepped out of a battle with the Whomping Willow. His cheeky smile lit up his handsome – no, his arrogant face.
“And what is the important question?” Lily played along.
James’ reply was lost among the bass that thumped in her head as if within her. It boomed through her entire core, propelling her heart to match its rhythm. Lily couldn’t fight the smile on her face, looking around at how amazing the room was. She truly had no idea where in the castle they were.
“Where do we get drinks?” Marlene had to shout, her voice barely carrying over the pulsating music that swallowed all other sounds.
As if on command, a bar appeared at the back of the room, and Marlene weaved her way through, leaving Lily beside a smug James.
He ducked to level his lips with her ear. “You look stunning, Evans.” She tried to ignore the flutter in her stomach and hid the hitch in her breath by distancing herself from the tickle of James’ velvety voice. “As always.”
Regaining her reason, Lily rolled her eyes. “Take your chat to someone who actually wants it, Potter.” She shrugged off her jacket, letting it fall on the chair at the side. James’ eyes slid to her V-neckline, and Lily felt the twitch of satisfaction. Not staying to hear his retort – or lack of – she made her way to find Marlene and their drinks. It was always a game with James. And she had the upper hand.
* * *
With the Firewhiskey and music, time merged into a series of flashing moments until Lily lost all thoughts of expectations, school, and what she should and shouldn’t do. The air was hot with the breaths of the entire year, but she didn’t notice her hair sticking to the back of her nape nor the way her feet clung to the sugar-covered ground.
A single beaming flash of green light eradicated her smile when she saw James again.
There he was, wearing that easy, carefree smile he flashed all the girls. The one he never gave her. For Lily, he reserved the smirk that dared her to come to him, that teased her. The smile that sent her stomach to tighten and heat with fireworks. But tonight, he was holding Millie Green’s waist, and the fireworks in Lily burst into flames that left her seething. Now, the room was too small as others’ arms clung to her skin glued by sweat. Each inhale she took was shallow and not enough to reach her lungs. She loathed Millie.
With the beat of the song and the next flash of light, Lily found herself halfway to James who leant into Millie. In the next ray of white light, she was tapping his shoulder.
When he turned, James didn’t have time to grin that stupid smirk. He didn’t have time to say some stupid cocky line. He barely opened that stupid, perfect mouth of his and Lily threw herself against him so her teeth clacked against his before she found his lips.
The taste of Firewhiskey scorched her tongue and set her skin ablaze. His hands grasped her waist, and she let herself curve into him. The lights flickered behind her closed eyelids as she fell into a fervent dream. And when his mouth left her lips to trail along her jaw, Lily was lost for good. The prickle of his chin’s stubble scratched an itch she had felt for too long. He nibbled on a spot on her nape that triggered tingling to nerves she had never felt before. Desire that she’d shrouded with hate and dislike finally revealed itself for what it was.
Until his name escaped from her lips.
Yanking her head back, the haze of alcohol dissipated and Lily realised where she was, what she had done.
James’ eyes searched her, and she turned, storming for the exit, ignoring the drink Marlene held up for her with her wide grin, forgetting that her jacket was lost somewhere, trying to forget how good James tasted.
“Evans! Evans!”
Oblivious to the fact that her curtain of red hair was easy enough for James to spot through the crowd, she darted and squirmed until she made it out.
Cool air greeted her, but a warm, sturdy hand found her elbow and pulled her back. “Evans.”
Lily twirled to meet him, letting her anger consume her. “Piss off, Potter.”
He scoffed. “You kissed me.”
“You kissed me back.”
“And I’m not here to apologise.”
She huffed. “That’s not the point. You– we. We’ll never work!”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re arrogant and conceited, and you think you deserve everything, and– and–” She couldn’t find any other words that she could say. Not how loyal a friend he was. Not how brilliant he was. Definitely not how her heart hammered when he’d throw his head back in laughter. At her silence, his brow arched, flitting up under his fringe. The corner of his lip flickered, and her chest couldn’t take it. “Stop doing that! I hate when you do that!”
“Do what?”
“Do that stupidly attractive face!”
James pressed his arm to the side of her head, barring her from escaping down the corridor. She hadn’t even noticed her back was to the wall. “Lils, why did you kiss me?” When he spoke so tenderly, his voice devoid of his usual cocky playfulness, her knees went weak. She was lost in his hazel eyes, the nuances of green and brown mixing with the wavering torchlight. She’d never been so close to notice the specks of golden colour that were also there. “Lily.”
Hearing her name on his lips for the first time wore her down. “Because I didn’t want you to kiss Millie!” The truth lingered between them, drawing them closer after Lily had tried to fight it for far too long. He arched a brow, but again, James remained serious, his head jutting sideways, letting the shadows reveal his high cheekbones. She went on, “Because I don’t want you to kiss anyone else.”
“Ever?”
She shook her head.
James withdrew his arm and raked it through his hair, his fingers becoming lost in the darkness of it. “You don’t make this easy.”
“Easy?” Anger surged through Lily. “ You’re the one who doesn’t make it easy! You–”
But she never got to finish her sentence. She never even finished her thought when James swept in and pulled her lips into his, tugging as he slid his hand down her hair like he was caressing silk.
“Will you ever stop shouting at me?” he breathed, letting his forehead rest on hers.
“Never.”
He nodded. “Okay, Evans. I’ll take it.”