Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As soon as Katsuki woke up, he knew it was going to be a crappy day. His throat ached with that familiar pain that never goes away no matter how much water you chug down and makes it hurt to swallow. He cracked an eyelid open, only to be assaulted by the absolutely blinding light coming from his window. Deciding to bite the bullet, he opened both eyes as quickly as he could and was met with the lovely feeling of his head being cleaved in two. Katsuki grimaced and covered his eyes with his hands. Why did the sun have to be so much brighter than usual today?

Once he was finally able to push past the throbbing in his temples enough to open his eyes, he made to get out of bed. He was drenched in a cold, sticky sweat. As he carefully peeled the covers from his skin, it was exposed to the freezing air that sent chills down his spine and made him shiver. Next, he swung his feet over the bed and dropped to the floor in one swift motion. This was a huge mistake. The room was sent spinning instantly, and his headache returned to full capacity. He swayed on the spot and had to brace himself on his bed until his vision stopped swimming--what a perfect way to start the day.

He wasn’t sure how he was going to get through class like this, but there was no way he would miss it. His attendance was perfect, and he wasn’t about to ruin it for something this small. He wasn’t some weakling who needed to stay back from class just because he was feeling a little off. Hero training was more important than resting or whatever the crap he needed to do in this situation. And of course, Katsuki could never let those stupid extras know he was capable of falling ill. Besides, it wasn’t that bad. He would probably be fine after 24 hours.

Slowly and methodically, Katsuki performed his usual morning routine. It was a lot more challenging to do when his whole body ached every time he moved an inch, but he managed. He checked his appearance in the mirror. He looked like crap, but the likelihood that most of his classmates would notice was pretty low. Not like they were all that observant. The main problem would be Deku. The stupid nerd knew him front to back and was bound to know something was wrong instantly. Katsuki would just have to take extra care to avoid him. A few months ago, this wouldn’t have been a problem; he had been making sure to avoid him anyway. Recently, things have changed.

Katsuki wasn’t exactly sure when he stopped hating Deku, but they had been spending a lot more time together ever since he found out about One for All. They trained together often late into the night, sometimes with All Might, sometimes on their own. It was hard to name the shift in their relationship, they were still rivals, but now they both worked to push each other forward rather than bring each other down. Not that Deku ever tried to bring Katsuki down. The ever-present guilt weighed him down once again at that thought. He pushed it into the back of his head; he had bigger problems to deal with right now than his past with Deku. One day soon, he would work up the nerve to properly apologize. They both knew that Katsuki regretted everything he’d done to the nerd, but as much as the thought irked him, Deku deserved a genuine apology, not just mutual understanding. But for now, he would tiptoe around the subject and put it off until later, like a coward.

In a foggy haze, he somehow managed to trudge all the way to his homeroom and unceremoniously plop into his seat. The pressure in his chest was making it ridiculously hard to catch his breath from even doing something so small. This was why he hated being sick so much and would go to any length to avoid it. It made him feel so weak, so helpless. As soon as he was hit with a minor illness, suddenly he was five years old again and wanted nothing more than to curl up in his mother’s arms and cry that it hurt. It was pathetic. Suddenly Katsuki felt a sharp prod at his shoulder. He whipped his head to the side and was instantly met with a terrible bout of dizziness but managed to cover it with a deathly glare.

“What?” Katsuki growled, quite literally, because his voice was incredibly low and hoarse.

The annoying yellow-haired idiot had the audacity to grin teasingly at him.

“Woah, looks like somebody’s extra grumpy today. What’s got you so mad this early?” Dunce Face jested.

Katsuki didn’t have the energy to argue or come up with some sort of excuse, so he settled for giving him a nonverbal piece of his mind. Kaminari just laughed, but stupid hair frowned.

“You feeling alright, Bakubro? You don’t sound too good.” Kirishima asked, clearly concerned.

Katsuki groaned. He hadn’t accounted for Kirishima. He almost forgot that idiot knew him well too; of course, he would see right through him. The difference was, Kirishima hopefully wouldn’t push him about it. If he said he was fine, it was likely Kirishima would drop the subject. Deku was another story.

“I’m fine.” Katsuki spat.

Just as he thought, Kirishima accepted his response with doubt but moved on. Then, of course, the nerd arrived to wreak havoc. The second he locked eyes with Katsuki, his head tilted and eyes filled with worry.

“Are you okay?” Deku mouthed from across the room.

Katsuki rolled his eyes and mouthed, “Yeah, I’m fine” back, but it was clear Deku didn’t believe him. Whatever, it’s not like he could do anything about it. What was he gonna do, drag Katsuki back into bed? As if he would ever let him get away with that. To his utter dismay, he noticed the nerd had marched up to his desk.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You look terrible.” He said, reaching his hand up to feel Katsuki’s forehead.

Katsuki swatted away his hand.

“Yes, idiot. I’m fine. Now leave me alone before I blow your face off,” was his truly eloquent, not at all suspicious response.

Luckily before the other boy could press him any further, Aizawa walked in and shut the door. Deku was forced to retreat to his seat behind Katsuki.

Class passed by in a blur. Katsuki’s pen had moved on his paper to take notes, but he didn’t remember a single thing he had written down. He hadn’t absorbed a word of the lecture either. Hopefully, he had written something useful in his notebook that he could look back at later. For now, the lights were too bright, and the pounding in his head was too intense for him to focus. Had the classrooms always been this hot? It was sweltering in whatever room he was in now, a stark contrast to his cold bedroom. Sweat rolled down his back, and his stomach roiled uncomfortably. Slowly, he rested his face on his palm, letting his heavy eyelids slip closed for just a second.

“Bakugo? Bakugo, are you with us?” A soft voice questioned.

Katsuki jolted awake with alarm. He had fallen asleep?!?! This illness was getting very bad very quickly. How long had he been out? Had anyone besides IcyHot noticed? What had he missed?

“Hey. We’re heading to Ground Beta for training. Everyone else has already left; we have to go get changed.” Half-and-Half said.

Katsuki looked around and confirmed; everyone else was gone. He hoped they wouldn’t be late; that would just draw more attention to his current plight.

“If everybody’s gone, why are you still here, huh?” Katsuki questioned with less of his usual aggression than he would’ve liked as he walked towards the door.

“Midoriya had to go talk to All Might before training, so he asked me to keep an eye on you. It’s uncharacteristic of you to sleep in class. What’s going on with you?” Todoroki asked, his eyes squinting ever so slightly with suspicion.

Katsuki grumbled a vague none of your business idiot, and IcyHot raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

———————————————-

All Might was giving some sort of instructions on what they were doing that day, but Katsuki didn’t hear a word. He was too focused on the awful aching pain in his throat and ever-increasing nausea. All he wanted to do at the moment was lay down, but that wasn’t an option. Heroes don’t take days off. Well, at least not the ones who want to be number one. He felt a hand lightly tap his shoulder and turned around to see Deku standing right behind him.

“Hey, did you hear the instructions? Your eyes look really glassy, and you weren’t actually looking at him, so I kinda assumed you weren’t listening….I’ll just go ahead and explain it. We're doing a rescue training exercise. Everyone is supposed to pair up and try to rescue as many of the dummies from the simulation as they can and as safely as possible before the time limit ends. I didn’t think you heard when he told us to pick partners, so I decided we’d work together. I hope that’s okay….It’s just I don’t think you should be participating at all. You really don’t look well, and you’re acting differently. I would have expected you to interrupt me or glare or insult me by now, but you haven’t even said anything. It’s kinda freaking me out,” the nerd rambled out at Mach speed.

Katsuki would like to say he didn’t feel incredibly relieved that Deku picked up on his inattentiveness so quickly and covered for him, but that would be a lie. It was very helpful, and for some reason, he wasn’t that annoyed at the prospect of working with the nerd. He decided to ignore the last part of his ramblings in his reply.

“Ok, whatever. Where do we go? Has it started yet?” Katsuki asked in a gravelly voice.

Deku led the way but wouldn’t stop giving him concerned glances with those all too expressive green eyes. He looked like he wanted to do something but wasn’t sure how. When they reached their destination, he caught Katsuki off guard by abruptly placing his hand on Katsuki’s forehead. This time he was too slow to stop the nerd. The worry in Deku’s eyes increased.

“Kacchan, you definitely have a fever,” he said earnestly, “you really need to go see Recovery Girl.”

“Tch as if I would ever need help from that old hag. I told you I’m fine.” Katsuki replied.

“Well, if you’re not going to get help, you should at least go back to the dorms and rest. You could get seriously hurt trying to train like this!! You know a nasty fever can give you brain damage, right? And your senses are dulled. What if they decided to throw in some surprise elements into training, and you got hurt? Or what if we had a villain attack right now or what if-“

“JUST SHUT UP!!” Katsuki tried to yell as he grasped his throbbing temples, but it ended up sounding more like a plea than a demand.

Deku seemed to pick up on his discomfort and muttered an apology. They waited for the exercise to start for and a few minutes passed in blissful silence until the stupid nerd broke it again.

“Listen, Kacchan! This isn’t good for you. Real heroes take off days, that doesn’t make you weak or-“

“YOU THINK I’M WEAK?!?!”

“No, no no no, ugh, you’re making this so difficult,”

“YOU’RE ONE MAKING THINGS DIFFICULT!!”

“Kacchan, you are clearly ill!!! You’re barely standing upright!”

“I’M STANDING UP JUST FINE!!!”

“Well, you have a fever-“

“NO, I DON’T!!”

“You’re literally burning up, and you’ve looked awful all day!!”

“I SAID I WAS FINE WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE?!”

“BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU, OKAY!!!!!”

They both went silent. Deku hardly ever yelled, and especially not at Katsuki, so it shocked him a little. But that wasn’t what shocked him the most. It was what he said. It’s not like Katsuki didn’t know Deku cared about him. Obviously, the idiot wouldn’t have stuck around him and never given up on their friendship after all these years if he didn’t. But he had never said it out loud before. The way he screamed it with such passion and fury left him dumbfounded. The nerd really did care about him. Huh. Katsuki felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach (which did not help with the churning sensation already occurring there). He didn’t deserve Deku’s affection after what he had done to him. He didn’t deserve another chance to be his friend, yet here Deku was, still sticking beside him after everything. He was a constant in Katsuki’s life, a solid (albeit irritating) immovable wall, refusing to fall down even after Katsuki had tried everything he could to make the boy crumble. Deku was glaring at him now with a frightening righteous fury. His cheeks burned red, and his green eyes were ablaze with angry passion.

“Yes, Kacchan, I said it. I really care about you and hate seeing you hurt yourself. Are you really so arrogant that you can’t admit when you're suffering?” He asked.

“Tch” was all Katsuki could muster in response.

Deku huffed in annoyance.

“Fine then, be like that. Whatever,” the other boy said angrily. His eyes softened again for a moment. “Just…. don’t push yourself too hard. Let me know if you feel any worse or change your mind about getting help, okay?”

Katsuki considered this for a moment but eventually gave Deku a curt nod. Deku wasn’t happy with the situation, but he was at least satisfied with this deal.

———————————————-

Seconds after the exercise started, Katsuki knew he was screwed. Honestly, he commended himself for going on as long as he did because running to keep up with Deku was torture. Katsuki’s breath came in ragged gasps, each one tearing his throat to shreds. His legs felt like they were made of lead, each step like lifting a ten-ton boulder. After 15 minutes of collecting the dummies and returning them to the “medical tent” Katsuki craved the sweet embrace of death. They were running again when Katsuki’s vision began to tunnel. It was too hot, too bright, too fast, too much. An unbearable weight was pressing on his chest, making it impossible for him to catch his breath.

“Kacchan?”

Deku was suddenly right in front of him, but his face was distorted. The buildings were spinning; everything was spinning, black spots obscured Katsuki’s view.

“Kacchan, are you okay? You got really pale!” Deku fretted, but his voice was weird; it sounded like he was underwater.

Katsuki couldn’t really remember where they were at the moment or what they were supposed to be doing. But he knew one thing, he was supposed to tell the nerd if he felt bad. He initially had no intention of doing so, but now things were looking bleak. Katsuki just wanted to sleep, and he didn’t think he’d be able to stay conscious for much longer.

“ ‘zuku?” He slurred.

If the other boy responded, Katsuki didn’t hear it.

“Gonna pass out” was the last thing Katsuki managed to articulate before the world faded away.

—————————————————

Izuku figured the sickness would win out eventually and Kacchan would have to get help, but he didn’t realize it was this bad. He definitely didn’t expect Kacchan to call him by his first name and promptly collapse in his arms. At least Kacchan had technically stuck with their deal and given him a warning. Granted, it was only a few seconds before he fainted, and then there was the fact that he had let it get that bad in the first place, but at least Izuku was able to catch him.

Izuku sighed. He scooped Kacchan off of the ground and carried him back towards All Might and Mr. Aizawa. He should have ratted Kacchan out this morning when he first noticed the other boy was sick. But his relationship with Kacchan was finally getting better, they were healing and moving towards something like friendship, but really it was deeper, stronger, and more complicated than that. Izuku wasn’t sure what he would call it, but he didn’t want to ruin it.

That was stupid, of course, he should’ve valued Kacchan’s health over their fragile new bond. Izuku guessed he had just assumed that Kacchan would take care of himself a little better. If Izuku had pulled something like this Kacchan would have called him a “self-sacrificial idiot,” he thought indignantly. When he arrived at the fake medical tent All Might gaped at the pair of them and Aizawa just hummed in disappointment.

“Is young Bakugo alright?! What happened?!!” All Might exclaimed.

“Explain” Aizawa deadpanned.

“Kacchan passed out,” Izuku replied stupidly.

Aizawa rolled his eyes.

“I can clearly see that.”

lzuku’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. He quickly explained what had happened to Mr. Aizawa and with each sentence the man looked more and more disappointed and exasperated.

“-And I’m so sorry I should’ve said something earlier when I first noticed, but I thought he could handle on his own and maybe he didn’t feel as bad as he looked, and I didn’t want him to get mad at me, or for him to be embarrassed because he hates feeling weak and when we were kids he never wanted anyone to take care of him if he was sick and-“

“I understand,” Aizawa cut him off, “it’s not your fault he was being a prideful idiot. I appreciate you keeping an eye out for him.”

If it was even possible, his face turned even brighter red at that statement.

“Oh of c-course! N-no problem.” Izuku sputtered.

“Well we need to take him to Recovery Girl, are you ok to keep carrying him like that or do you need me to hold him?” Aizawa asked.

Izuku assured him that he was fine, and they walked to Recovery Girl’s office together. In all honesty, Kacchan was very heavy, probably from all his muscle mass, but Izuku didn’t want to hand him off. He wasn’t sure why, maybe because he just wanted to make sure Kacchan got there safely and was attended to properly. Or maybe it was because he liked being able to feel his chest slowly rising and falling against his own. Maybe it was because he loved how peaceful he looked, or how surprisingly soft his spiky blonde hair felt against Izuku’s arm. Or maybe it was because Kacchan had unconsciously latched his arms around Izuku and it made his heart beat just a little too fast in his chest. Or maybe it was all of the above. Anything to do with Kacchan always brought up a tidal wave of complicated, conflicting and confusing emotions in Izuku. He wasn’t sure what he felt for the other boy, but he knew he would do anything in the world to protect him.

——————————————

Katsuki woke up staring at a white ceiling. Groggily, he pushed himself up on the bed and after almost a whole two minutes he registered that he was in Recovery Girl’s office.

“Oh look who’s finally awake.” Recovery Girl said in a disapproving tone.

Katsuki tried to respond but found that his voice wasn’t working properly. His throat was still hurting like crazy and his tongue felt like sandpaper. He settled for glaring at the old hag.

“Don’t look at me like that. If you had just come to me sooner or stayed in the dorms until you felt better you wouldn’t be here. It was very irresponsible of you to go to class like this, you’re in a terrible state. You can’t just go around doing things like you normally do when you're sick. Good heroes take care of themselves. But I’m sure with All Might as your roll model no one has taught you that…” she ended with an eye roll, muttering to herself that she was gonna have his neck next time she saw him.

She continued her lecturing, but Katsuki wasn’t really listening to her, his eye had caught a mop of green curls on the other side of the room. Deku was fast asleep on the chair beside his bed. He looked like a little kitten, curled up in a ball like that. It was kind of… cute? Cute was never a word he had previously used to describe the other boy, but he couldn’t think of anything else that quite captured it. Recovery Girl seemed to notice his diverted attention. She sighed.

“Midoriya was very worried about you, he carried you all the way here and insisted he stay until you woke up. He’s such a kind young man, but so self-sacrificing. He’s even worse than you at taking care of himself” she said in a gently scolding tone.

Katsuki had an oddly warm feeling in his chest when she said that. The stupid nerd was too nice for his own good. But for some reason, Katsuki liked that he had stayed. He felt like crap, and the only person he really felt comfortable being around while he was vulnerable was Deku. Katsuki wasn’t sure why that was. Maybe because they had grown up together, so the nerd had already seen the worst and the best of Katsuki. There wasn’t really anything to hide anymore. Deku had seen him at his weakest, and his cruelest, yet he still stuck around. It baffled Katsuki. No matter what he did, he couldn’t seem to shake the nerd.

“Well I’ll wake him up and you guys can walk back to the dorms together. It’s pretty late now, you were quite exhausted so you slept for a while. You just seem to have a bad case of the flu, but there’s nothing you can really do about it but rest and get lots of fluids. You’ll be exempt from class until you’re feeling better, DO NOT come to class if you still have a fever. Understood?” Recovery Girl lectured.

Katsuki rolled his eyes and grumbled, “yeah whatever.”

Recovery Girl prodded Deku and he blinked dazedly. Once he got the sleep out of his eyes they quickly darted around the room, searching for something. They found their place when they met with Katsuki’s and he exhaled in a relieved way.

“You’re awake!” Deku said with a smile that could outshine the sun.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Katsuki replied.

Recovery girl turned to Deku.

“You’re in charge of escorting him back-“

“I DON’T NEED TO BE ESCORTED!!”

“-to the dorms and make sure he rests properly.”

“I’M NOT A CHILD!! I DON’T NEED HIM TO WATCH OVER ME!!”

“I trust that you can handle that.”

“Of course! No problem. Thanks Recovery Girl!”

———————————————

“Are you sure you’re fine to walk on your own so soon?” Deku said with wide eyes.

“OF COURSE I’M FINE IDIOT! JUST BECAUSE I’M SICK DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T USE MY LEGS!” Katsuki screamed indignantly. Or, spoke as loud as he could with his impaired voice, which came out more like a growl than a scream.

“Okay… just making sure, you still look pretty bad and I don’t want you to collapse again.”

“I’ll be fine nerd. I’m not gonna collapse again.”

They walked back to the dorms in silence after that. It was dark already so he’d clearly missed dinner, did he even have lunch? The day was such a blur, he couldn’t remember. Did the nerd miss dinner to stay with him? That would be stupid. Katsuki hoped Deku wasn’t that bad at taking care of himself. Why did the nerd feel the need to stay anyways? It’s not like Katsuki was on death's door, though he sure felt like it. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Deku shooting him concerned looks.

“Stop doing that.” Katsuki said.

“Huh? Doing what?” Deku questioned confusedly.

“You keep looking at me like I’ll keel over any second.”

“Well you might!!!”

“I said I’m fine.”

“You said that earlier and then you fainted on me.”

“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“What??? No I’m not trying to make you feel bad or anything I’m just nervous. You scared me earlier.”

Katsuki clicked his tongue and was about to reply when he tripped on an uneven part of the sidewalk. Usually he would’ve quickly caught himself, but today was not his day, clearly. The ground rushed at him with alarming speed and he knew his arms would collapse under his own weight if he put them down so he simply braced for impact when he was suddenly halted. Deku was looking at him with the most annoying, smug little glare Katsuki had ever seen.

“Point and case.”

“It was the sidewalks fault for being so STUPID!”

“Sure. The sidewalk.”

“THE IDIOTS WHO DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A SIDEWALK PROPERLY!”

“I’m helping you now and there is nothing you can do about it.”

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN’T DO NERD!!”

But as Deku pulled Katsuki up and slung his arm around his to half carry him along, Katsuki couldn’t find the strength in himself to resist.

Chapter Text

When they finally entered the dorms the rest of class 1-A was gathered in the common area. Izuku steered Katsuki straight towards the elevator, attempting to avoid questions, but failed miserably. They were bombarded by their classmates as soon as they were spotted.

“Is Blasty okay?” Mina asked.

“I heard he fainted in class, is that true?” Sero questioned.

“Did you really stay with him all day in Recovery Girl’s office?! While it is admirable to care for your classmate, it is irresponsible to neglect class-” Iida started but was cut off by Kaminari’s sudden shout of despair.

“Is Bakubro gonna die?!?!!”

Izuku winced at the barrage of questions and the complete lack of volume control. He knew it would annoy Kacchan on a normal day, but it was probably even more infuriating when their questions pertained to his health and only served to increase his headache and embarrassment. He glanced at the other boy and was disturbed by his lack of reaction. Katsuki was leaning heavily against him now, his eyes glazed and hazy. He wasn’t sure if he had even heard his friends' concerns at all. Izuku held up his free hand in a gesture of surrender.

“Relax guys, Kacchan is fine, he's just sick. I’m supposed to make sure he rests so let me take him to his room and we can talk later.” Izuku supplied.

His classmates backed down somewhat reluctantly, but at least they were no longer blocking the elevator. They rode up to the 4th floor in silence and soon arrived at Kacchan’s room. At this point Kacchan was half asleep so Izuku gently guided him to his bed and laid him down. It was telling that Kacchan allowed his body to go limp with no words of protest. His eyes were already closed as Izuku carefully placed a blanket over the other boy and turned out his lights. He was the picture of tranquility lying on that bed, his chest rising and falling steadily. Izuku had never seen him look so peaceful. It was really sweet actually. He wished he could see this gentle side of Kacchan all the time, when he wasn’t sick. His heart ached at the thought, and he turned towards the door to exit the room.

“Goodnight Kacchan.”

———————————————————

The next time Katsuki woke up, he did not feel better in the slightest. Not that he expected to get completely well overnight, but he thought he might’ve improved a tiny bit. Nope. If anything, he felt worse. His stomach felt dangerously unsettled, roiling painfully. Katsuki heard someone moving around the room and cracked his eyes open as wide as he dared. Bright green eyes were staring down at him.

“Oh did I wake you up? Sorry, I was trying to be quiet! I figured you wouldn’t be up to going down there with everyone to bug you so I brought your breakfast up here, hope that’s ok,” Deku rambled but paused as he took a glance at Katuski’s paling face, “What’s wrong?”

At the moment Katsuki was unable to answer because an unbearable wave of nausea had washed over him as soon as he had made to sit up. This was a major problem because he couldn’t open his mouth to communicate this with Deku for fear of hurling all over his bed. Luckily, Deku was as perceptive as ever. His eyes widened in understanding.

“Are you gonna be sick?” he asked.

Katsuki nodded fervently and Deku scrambled to grab his trash can, reaching him just in time. Deku held it up faithfully as he violently heaved into the bin. By the time he had finished emptying his stomach of it’s contents, he was even more exhausted than he had been yesterday. His throat burned and he succumbed to a bad coughing fit. Deku rubbed his back gently in support as he struggled to breathe normally again. He felt so weak and pathetic, shivering on his bed.

Once Deku thought that Katsuki had calmed down enough and wouldn’t throw up again, he brought over a bottle of water.

“Drink some water, it will help you feel better,” he instructed.

Katsuki hesitantly drank the water but appreciated the cool relief it brought as soon as it touched his lips. He started drinking faster only to have the bottle snatched from his grasp. He finally found his voice again and protested.

“Oi!”

Deku frowned at him disapprovingly.

“You can’t drink it too quickly or you’ll get sick again!”

Katsuki rolled his eyes but drank much slower when the nerd handed his water back. He had forgotten about that in the moment, and he would’ve been really pissed if the nerd had let him chug the water only to cause another puking session.

“I’m guessing you’re not gonna want to eat anything now,” Deku had the nerve to chuckle, “but when you’re feeling a little better you need to. I’ll leave your food here for you.”

They lapsed into silence. Deku stood awkwardly at the door, as if unsure what to do next. Katsuki broke eye contact to lay flat on his back and stare at the ceiling, unable to look at the nerd anymore.

“Why are you still here?” he asked.

There was a long pause.

“What do you mean?

Katsuki sighed. Deku constantly switched from being incredibly perceptive to completely clueless. What Katsuki really was trying to ask is why he still stuck around. All these years Katsuki had done nothing but torment him and make his life a living hell. He had looked down on the other boy and belittled him to boost his own ego. Why did Deku stay? Why did it take him so long to see that the way Katsuki treated him wasn’t okay and stand up for himself? No matter what Katsuki had done, the dozens of times he pushed him away, he always stayed. Why didn’t he see that Katsuki wasn’t worth it? Why didn’t he see that he deserved better? But Katsuki couldn’t ask these questions.

He was afraid that if he asked them, Deku would finally open his eyes to the truth, and abandon Katsuki like he should have done years ago. And that would probably be for the best. But Katsuki was selfish. He didn’t want Deku to leave. He hated to admit it, but he would miss those sparkling emerald eyes and that bright smile. He would miss that unruly mop of soft green curls that he just wanted to run his hand through. He would miss the stupid nerd.

“Why are you here?”

Deku blinked owlishly and tilted his head.

“I was trying to help you?”

The way he phrased it made it seem like he was confused why Katsuki didn’t understand. Like it should be obvious.

“But why?”

Deku raised his eyebrows in clear surprise.

“What do you mean why? Because you’re sick and I want you to feel better.”

Deku didn’t understand. He didn’t see that Katsuki didn’t deserve his help. It was natural for him to keep extending his hand, even as Katsuki continuously slapped it away. Katsuki sighed. He had a feeling it would take a lot to get that through the nerds thick skull, and he didn’t have the energy for that at the moment, so he decided to drop it.

“Tch. Whatever, you don’t have to stay here, I'm fine.” Katsuki said.

“Oh…. Ok. Yeah, right, I’ll leave you to rest. I’m gonna come back to check on you later though.” Deku replied, and exited the room, closing the door gently behind him.

Katsuki groaned in frustration. Of course the nerd would do the nice thing and immediately leave for his benefit. He wasn’t at all offended that Katsuki had kicked him out, acting as if Katsuki was right and he should leave in order to help him. Then he was even going to come back and check on him later. Who did Deku think he was, his mom?! He didn’t need Deku watching over him, he could take care of himself, thank you very much. But Katsuki would allow it, because he was selfish, and though he didn’t need Deku’s mother henning, maybe he wanted it a little.

—————————————————

Izuku headed back downstairs and entered the common area and as soon as everyone noticed him, almost all conversation ceased. He felt his cheeks burning under their relentless stares.

“So?” Mina asked.

“So w-what? Why are you all looking at me like that??” he stuttered awkwardly.

Mina huffed in exasperation.

“So how is Blasty doing?!” she finally asked.

“Oh, um he’s uh fine I guess,” Izuku said. He wasn’t going to tell them everything about Kacchan’s condition for the sake of his privacy, but they all seemed so concerned; he felt bad. “Well… not really, he looks worse than yesterday actually. He started throwing up as soon as he woke up. He was also being really quiet which was kinda disconcerting. I decided to leave him alone to rest for now but I’m gonna go back to check on him later.”

Izuku’s statement led to an avalanche of sympathetic utterances.

“Awww that’s so sad!!”

“Poor guy!”

“Honestly, I didn’t think he was capable of getting sick.”

“We should all try to help him!”

“Yeah! What could we do to help him feel better?”

Izuku cringed. Kacchan would not want their help. He was barely accepting help from Deku who’s known him all his life and seen him sick plenty of times. Having all his classmates shower him with pity would make him livid.

“No, I wouldn’t try to help him. The best thing you can do for him right now is leave him alone.” Izuku quickly corrected.

All the attention was turned back on Izuku in an instant. They shot him bewildered looks. He was surprised, he thought at least some of them had gotten to know Kacchan pretty well by now. But of course, Kirishima at least understood. He piped up to Izuku’s defense.

“Yeah Midoriya’s right. Just let him rest so he can get better quickly. He wouldn’t want all of us bugging him and giving him pity. That would make him feel really weak and embarrassed. He’d probably be happiest if we just pretended nothing was going on with him and didn't acknowledge his absence when he came back.” Kirishima said.

This seemed to get through to them. Some still looked disturbed at the thought of making Kacchan suffer alone, but most nodded their heads in understanding. Izuku breathed a sigh of relief. It would have been a nightmare had they all decided to bombard him.

“Well then why are you allowed to take care of him?” Todoroki asked, dual colored eyes boring into Izuku’s.

Silence enveloped the whole class once again. Todoroki was a great friend, but he seemed to always ask the most uncomfortable questions. Izuku had no idea how to answer that. He wasn’t sure why Kacchan was letting him help. Was it because their relationship was headed in a good direction, and Kacchan was finally learning to trust him? Or did Kacchan just not care what Izuku thought since they’d known each other so long? Or was he just so out of it that he didn’t even care? No, that couldn’t be right. He had been coherent enough to ask Izuku a question when he last saw him. The question rang in his ears.

“Why are you here?”

He had asked like he didn’t have the power to push Izuku away. Like he couldn’t just tell him to leave. Kacchan had sounded genuinely puzzled, like he truly didn’t understand why Izuku would help him. It was very odd. Originally he had thought it was going to lead to Kacchan ranting about how he “didn’t need help” and Izuku should just “get out and mind his own business” but it hadn’t. Kacchan didn’t seem satisfied with Izuku’s answer to his question, and just gently told him that he could go. He didn’t tell Izuku he had to leave, he just said he could leave. There was definitely a difference. But then again, Izuku was probably just reading into things. Kacchan was just tired and sick, and he didn’t feel like fighting with Izuku at the moment. He would probably go back to his usual self once he felt better.

“Midoriya?” Todoroki questioned.

Izuku realized he hadn’t said anything for too long. He opened and closed his mouth, fishing for something to say. Finally he sighed and gave the most honest answer he could think of.

“I don’t know, I guess we’ve just known each other so long, he just doesn’t care what I think anymore.”

—————-——-————-—-

Being sick sucked. Katsuki was bored out of his mind sitting in his room by himself, and he felt like crap. He kept thinking about all the training he could be doing right then instead of lying around. He could be pushing himself further and getting closer to number one, but instead, he was counting down the seconds until Deku came back like he promised reorganizing his bookshelf alphabetically by author name.

Katsuki was definitely not relieved when Deku finally knocked on his door.

“Come in.”

Deku’s eyes immediately went to Katsuki’s bed, thinking he was still there. He was momentarily confused until he finally looked down and jumped in surprise when he noticed Katsuki sitting on the floor.

“What are you doing on the floor?” Deku asked.

Katsuki rolled his eyes, “What does it look like, nerd? Reorganizing my bookshelf.”
Deku smirked, “Funny how you’re calling me a nerd but you're the one who reorganizes your bookshelf for fun and goes to bed at like 8 pm every night. And you’ve been doing better than me on all our tests lately. If anyone’s a nerd, it’s you.”

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!”

“I said you’re a huge nerd and you’re too embarrassed to admit it,” Deku teased.

“I AM NOT A NERD!!”

“Don’t deny it~”

Katsuki shoved Deku’s arm and huffed in annoyance but couldn’t help the small smile spreading across his face. In all honesty they were probably equal in the nerd department. They were both incredibly dedicated to their paths towards becoming heroes. Deku was definitely more of a fanboy than Katsuki though.

“At least I’m not a creepy stalker who studies people's quirks.”

Now it was Deku’s turn to get defensive, “Heeeyyy I am not a stalker!”

“What do you call it when you watch people and write down everything about their quirk then?”

“Uh….”

“Yeah that’s what I thought.”

“It’s not stalking it’s just… observational analysis?”

“Whatever you want to tell yourself.”

Deku smiled and the light from Katsuki’s window illuminated his face, making it appear like he was glowing. But that was nothing new, Deku was always glowing. His eyes were always lit up with something; passion, fury, excitement, joy. Whatever he was feeling you could easily tell by looking at his face, and Katsuki liked that. One of the things Katsuki hated most was when people lied to him. But Deku was always very honest and genuine, and if he wasn’t, you could figure it out just by looking at his expression.

Deku’s smile faded a little bit as he moved to sit next to Katsuki, “Have you eaten anything today?”

Katsuki sighed and turned his gaze away. He had almost forgotten the reason the nerd was here. He didn’t come just to hang out and joke around. Deku came to take care of Katsuki. Once he was better, things would go back to normal. They would avoid each other unless they were training. This was never how it was going to be, they could never be close like this, all because of Katsuki. Not that this is what Katsuki wanted. Not that he enjoyed every second pretending this was reality and that Katsuki hadn’t broken what they had.

Katsuki finally met Deku’s eyes again, “No.”

Deku’s frown deepened, “Kacchan you have to eat something or you’re not gonna get better.”

“No. I don’t want to.”

“I’m gonna make you some food and you’re gonna eat it.”

“Absolutely not. Everyone knows you suck at cooking.”

Deku gasped, “Excuse me? I do not!!”

Katsuki smirked, “Yes you do. Why do you think you haven’t been on the schedule for dinner duty in so long?”

“I- oh. I guess I haven’t made dinner in a while, wait a second ugh! Have you guys been talking about how my cooking sucks behind my back?! Why did no one tell me?!”

“Because you’re a crybaby and they didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Okay now you’re just being mean!”

They ended up making a deal that if he was allowed to instruct Deku on how to cook properly, Katsuki would eat what he made. Katsuki was very reluctant to agree to this since he really didn’t want to risk eating anything, but Deku was insistent. Together they headed down to the kitchen, Katsuki walking on his own this time even though Deku offered help. He was moving slower than usual and was still slightly dizzy but he wasn’t dead on his feet like the night before. Though he didn’t mind being cared for by Deku, he did not want any of his classmates to take notice. The damage had already been done from the whole incident yesterday, but Katsuki still wanted to salvage what shred of dignity he had left.

Since it was late afternoon on a Saturday most of their classmates had gone out for the day. The only ones lingering around the common room currently were Frog girl, Ears, and Tokoyami. This was great, because they were all generally pretty chill and unlikely to bother the pair of them. Deku told Katsuki he could pick the dish he would make, and he finally decided on something he thought Deku would enjoy. He refused to tell him what it was though, opting to wait and see his reaction when it was finished. Katsuki carefully instructed Deku on how to craft the dish perfectly. It was a frustrating process, Katsuki wanted nothing more than to yank the supplies out of Deku’s hands and do it himself (which he did attempt to do several times, but Deku refused to let him help).

Finally Deku was finished. He seemed to have done a decent job, because the delicious smell had their classmates, who were now gradually filing in the door, flocking to the kitchen. Deku’s face when he realized what he had created was priceless.

His mouth gaped open in comical surprise, “K-katsudon? You made me make katsudon?”

Katsuki smirked victoriously as he made himself a bowl, “Yeah. That a problem?”

A bright blush crept up Deku’s face as he smiled, “Katsudon is my favorite food!”

Katsuki feigned ignorance, “Oh is it now? I had no idea.”

The rest of the night was a blur, Katsuki grew steadily more tired as it went on. He wouldn’t remember but eventually he fell asleep on the couch in the common room, curled up next to Deku. He wouldn’t remember being carried to Deku’s room, and gently laid in bed.

Chapter Text

It was sweltering. Sweat dripped down Katsuki’s neck as the blue flames surrounding him grew higher and higher. The air was thick with smoke and it was choking him, it was filling his lungs and burning his throat. He tried to move but found he was in chains again. He thrashed and kicked and tried to activate his quirk but nothing worked. He was stuck again, and this time there was no All Might to come save him. He was going to die at the hands of the League. Suddenly, a figure materialized in front of him. He recognized the raspy laughter in an instant, and it made his whole body tense with fear.

“You should’ve accepted our offer. You were made to be a villain, not a hero,” Shigaraki chuckled.

“You deserve this. You deserve to die for what you’ve done. You’ve always been a villain at heart.”

“Kacchan!! Kacchan!! Wake up!!”

Katsuki woke up feeling like he’d run a marathon. Though the fire was gone, he was still soaked with sweat. It was too hot, the room was too small, it was too dark. He couldn’t breath no matter how hard he tried, it still felt like he was suffocating. His heart was hammering so hard he thought it might burst out of his chest. Katsuki could still feel the chains weighing him down, he felt like he was trapped and he would never escape. He couldn’t tell where he was anymore, but wherever it was couldn’t be good. Katsuki was sure he was going to die. It felt like he was already halfway there. How had the league gotten him again?

Katsuki thought the whole point of the dorms was to prevent that sort of thing from happening again, but he had been naive to believe it would really work. Of course they would find him again. Then Katsuki remembered he had heard Deku yell a second earlier, or was it a minute? An hour? He had no idea. All he knew was the league had Deku too, and he had to get them out of there. He needed to stop freaking out and make a plan now.

“Kacchan!! Look at me. You have to breathe!!”

Katsuki looked up to meet those bright green eyes and his head spun just a little slower for a moment. Their familiarity and the comfort associated with them centered him ever so slightly. He became aware enough to realize he was hyperventilating and had to have been for a good while now because black spots were dancing in his vision. The only thing he could do to stay present was stare into those eyes. They were like his anchor, the only thing keeping him from drowning in panic. Katsuki couldn’t panic. Not when Deku needed his help. Heroes can’t panic when there are people who need saving.

“Just breathe. You’re okay. You’re safe. It’s just you and me here. We’re in the dorms at UA.”

Deku continued to whisper soothing words as Katsuki struggled to even out his breathing and calm his racing heart. He was shaking so hard eventually Deku gently grabbed his hands to steady them and Katsuki gripped the other boy's hands like they were his lifeline. They… hadn’t been kidnapped? Was Deku lying to help him calm down? Or was he really safe? Was this even the real Deku or was it Toga?

Deku repeated, “You’re safe.”

Katsuki finally managed to rasp out, “are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Katsuki registered that his face was wet. He wasn’t sure when he had started crying but there were tears blurring his vision and he felt his throat constricting. Deku scooted closer to him on the bed and slowly let go of his hands, choosing to envelope him in a gentle hug. It was so warm and soft, it made him exhale in relief. He was safe. They were safe. Katsuki rested his head on the other boy's shoulder and Deku started carefully stroking his hair. It was so simple but so soothing, making his scalp tingle at the contact. 

Deku was so good at helping people who needed him. He always knew the right thing to do to make them feel better. Katsuki didn’t know what kind of soap the boy used, but it smelled amazing. He smelled like cinnamon, honey, and everything warm and sweet you could think of. He smelled like home. Not Katsuki’s house or anything, but home. Somewhere he could always go to rest, a place that would always be there for him. 

They had been hugging for a while now, and Katsuki was calm enough to let go now. He thought he should probably pull away before it was weird. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He had never enjoyed an embrace from someone so much until that moment. Katsuki had never been a hugger, but for some reason he wanted to stay like this with Deku forever. But things had always been different with Deku hadn’t they? Deku was the one that made Katsuki feel all sorts of different things he had never felt before. He didn’t understand what it was about Deku that made him the exception. He didn’t understand why after years of pushing the other boy away suddenly he was the only thing Katsuki could think about-

Oh. 

Oh. 

Everything suddenly clicked into place in his mind. Heat rushed to Katsuki’s cheeks at his sudden understanding. He abruptly broke their hug and moved away. 

Izuku was caught off guard when Kacchan pushed away from him out of nowhere. He should’ve expected as much, but it still stung. He had really enjoyed the rare moment of intimacy between the two of them. Izuku wished the circumstances leading to it had been better, but that was just life he guessed. 

He glanced up at Kacchan and silently asked him why he had broken their embrace so quickly. To Izuku’s surprise, Kacchan averted his eyes and glanced around the room instead. Upon closer inspection, he noticed Kacchan was… blushing? He almost looked embarrassed, which wasn’t an emotion Izuku had ever seen on his face before. He hoped Kacchan wasn’t embarrassed for freaking out. That was something he really understood, and wasn’t anything to be ashamed of. They’d all been through so much already, he wouldn’t be shocked if most of the class had nightmares. 

“What the hell.” 

Izuku stiffened, “huh?” 

“Why am I in your room?”

Izuku had almost forgotten about that tiny detail. His cheeks suddenly felt so hot he wouldn’t have been surprised if he was actually on fire. 

“I- well- um- you uh, fell a-asleep on the couch and I didn’t want to just l-leave you s-so I um, went to take you to your room but the d-door was locked and I don’t have the key and I didn’t want to wake you up so I just took you to my room and please don’t kill me I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable I promise I wasn’t trying to be weird or anything I slept on the floor please don’t be mad.”

Izuku would’ve kept rambling forever if Kacchan hadn’t held up his hand to silence him.

He sighed, “It’s fine.” 

Izuku froze. This was not the reaction he had expected.

“It’s…fine? You’re not mad?”

Kacchan glared, “Not because of that, no.”

Now Izuku was even more confused. 

“So you are mad?” 

Kacchan considered this before responding, “yes.” 

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Yes.”

This was…. very strange. When Kacchan is mad, he yells. When he’s happy, he yells. When he’s sad, he yells. His automatic response to feeling any emotion ever is guess what: yelling. But right then, he wasn’t yelling. Izuku had grown accustomed to interpreting how Kacchan felt by the slight differences in the way he yelled. This was entirely different. Izuku was no longer afraid of Kacchan, but this was slightly frightening. Their whole lives, never, not once, had Kacchan ever calmly admitted he was angry. That just wasn’t how he operated. 

Izuku asked his next question very carefully, “Why?” 

There was a long pause in which Kacchan’s expression slowly hardened. Izuku could almost see him putting his walls back up so he could hide behind them. He bit back a sigh of disappointment. Vulnerability wasn’t Kacchan’s thing, and that was fine. When Kacchan met his eyes again, the tension was palpable. In that moment he realized they had crossed a line they hadn’t ever dared to get near before. There would be no going back from this. There were three options, they would either A: Pretend it never happened, B: (The most unlikely option) Continue to move forward in this positive direction, or C: Destroy all the progress they had made towards becoming friends and become enemies again. He really hoped it wouldn’t be option C. 

Kacchan’s answer came so late Izuku almost forgot he had asked a question, “None of your business.” 

Ah. There it was. This time Izuku really did sigh in disappointment. They were pretending it never happened, he guessed. But Izuku didn’t want that. He liked what they had been working on. This was really important to the development of their relationship and he didn’t want to throw it away just because it made Kacchan feel embarrassed or weak. He wanted Kacchan to understand that it was okay to be vulnerable. That it was okay to be scared. That they were just kids with the weight of the world on their shoulders, that they could get through all the challenges life threw at them if they stuck together. So Izuku resolved that he would fight for this.

“I think it is my business.”

Kacchan bristled, “Excuse me?”

Izuku felt a sudden rush of confidence, “I deserve to know what you’re mad at me about.” 

Kacchan scowled,“No, I can be mad about whatever I want to! That doesn’t give you a right to know.”

“Yes it does! How am I supposed to fix whatever I did wrong if I don’t even know what it is?!”

The other boy stood up and started pacing the room. Izuku wished he would just tell him, and then they could come to an understanding. 

“It’s not- you didn’t-” Kacchan groaned in frustration, “it’s not really anything you did.” 

Izuku narrowed his eyes, “what?”

“You just- never mind. It doesn’t matter. I’m going back to my room.” 

He turned towards the door to head out before Izuku grabbed his wrist. Izuku was starting to get really annoyed.

“Hey wait! You have to tell me why you're mad, you can’t just leave!!” 

“No I don’t. It’s not something you can fix, so why would I tell you?!” 

Izuku paused, “What do you mean?”

“I mean exactly what I said nerd, now let me go.” 

Izuku glared, “No. Just explain what you mean and this can be over with.”

“Why is everything so complicated with you?!”

“It’s not that complicated!! All you have to do is tell me why you're mad!”

“I SAID IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!”

“YOU’RE MAD AT ME SO OBVIOUSLY IT IS MY BUSINESS!!”

“IT’S NOT EVEN REALLY YOU, I’M MAD AT MYSELF OKAY? SO WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR ONCE IT YOUR LIFE AND LET ME GO BACK TO BED?!!”

Silence enveloped them following this revelation. Then, it was like all the energy evaporated from Kacchan, and his anger with it. He was left with an odd sort of sadness in his crimson eyes. With that, he swiftly opened the door and left Izuku standing baffled in his wake. 

He had no idea what Kacchan had meant. Why would he be mad at himself? Everything about the interaction left Izuku confused. He could already tell he wasn’t going to get much more sleep that night as he tried to sort out all that had just happened. 

     —————————————

Katsuki was staring at his ceiling, heart racing almost as fast as it had been when he woke up earlier. His head was spinning so fast it was making him dizzy. Not to mention it was also throbbing, since he  still wasn’t exactly in the best of health. He groaned in exasperation with himself. How did this happen? When had he gone all soft? Was he really attracted to DEKU?! Of all the people in the entire world did it really have to be him? This was his karma for treating Deku so poorly all these years, he guessed. Katsuki had gone and fallen for the one person he couldn’t have. The one person who he really didn’t deserve. The one person who could never like him back. 

To say Katsuki was freaking out would be an understatement. What the hell was he supposed to do now?! Everything between them had been going so well but of course, Katsuki would have to ruin it again. Should he just ignore his feelings and hope they fade eventually? That seemed like the best plan of action but as much as he hated to admit it, Katsuki knew he would absolutely suck at that.

This left him with only two other options. Cut off his relationship with Deku until he could move on, or admit his feelings to Deku. It was obvious to Katsuki that the second choice wasn’t an option, but he really didn’t want to shun Deku. He knew how much that would hurt the other boy and couldn’t bear to put him through more pain than he already had. But it seemed like he didn’t really have a choice. No matter what, he was gonna have to hurt Deku in some way. Katsuki really had to go and mess everything up didn’t he? 

He needed someone to talk to about this, but was monumentally embarrassed by it. He needed someone he could trust. Someone who wouldn’t ask too many questions or make fun of him or tell anyone. Katsuki instantly knew who, and pulled out his phone to text Kirishima.

                  4:13 AM

Bakugo

Come by my room tomorrow morning. I need to talk to you.

Katsuki was suddenly hit by overwhelming exhaustion. The night's events had really taken a toll on him. The world suddenly became very hazy, and darkness engulfed him before he even had a chance to set his phone down. 

————————————————————

When Izuku got up the next morning he waited a bit longer than yesterday before heading back to Kacchan’s room. As much as he wanted to run straight there and talk to him, he thought it would be best to give him a bit of space after all that had happened. Eventually Izuku couldn’t wait any longer so he arrived at the door and knocked carefully, hoping Kacchan wasn’t still asleep. He was incredibly surprised to be greeted by someone other than Kacchan. 

Kirishima peeked his head out of the door, “Oh hey man! Me and Bakugo are just chatting right now but don’t worry I’ll be out soon and you can talk to him!!” 

“Oh. Ok.” 

As Kirishima closed the door, a nasty feeling rose up in Izuku. He didn’t quite understand what he was feeling yet, but it was nothing good. Izuku wasn’t sure why, but being turned away from seeing Kacchan by Kirishima was… upsetting, to say the least. 

He stormed back down to the common room and sat on the couch, picking up his book he had been reading earlier. Izuku tried to continue from where he left off, but he found it difficult to focus on the words with this angry, disgusting feeling festering inside of him. What was wrong with him? Why did seeing Kirishima in Kacchan’s room make him feel so… jealous? 

Izuku knew Kirishima hadn’t done anything wrong, but he felt so angry with him. It wasn’t fair that Kacchan became so close with him immediately. It wasn’t fair that he earned Kacchan’s trust so quickly. What was Kirishima doing that Izuku wasn’t? Izuku had known Kacchan his whole life, and always tried so hard to be his friend, only to be bullied and rejected. What was so much better about Kirishima? Had Kirishima been with Kacchan during his lowest moments? Had Kirishima helped Kacchan get through the aftermath of Kamino? Had Kirishima been taking care of Kacchan while he was sick? Had Kirishima comforted Kacchan after he had nightmares? Had Kirishima stuck by Kacchan all these years and admired him even though Kacchan wanted nothing to do with him? No. He hadn’t done any of that. Izuku had. Yet here he was, waltzing in and getting all of Kacchan’s care and affection.

 It wasn’t fair.  

“Midoriya?” 

“What?” Izuku snapped.

Todoroki raised his eyebrows, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” 

“Clearly you’re mad about something.”

“No I’m not.” 

“You were glaring at the wall when I walked in and your hands were all balled up in fists. Looks like something an angry person would do to me.” 

Izuku hadn’t noticed how hard he was clenching his hands until Todoroki pointed it out. He released them and found deep red marks in his palms. 

“So do you want to talk about it?” 

“No.” 

“Okay.” 

He really appreciated Todoroki not pushing him for an answer. His relationship with Kacchan was complicated and it would be difficult to explain what he was feeling as he wasn’t exactly sure himself. Todoroki was one of those people who understood that sometimes you need to talk about what’s bothering you and sometimes you just need to sit in the feelings until they pass. He knew that sometimes you need to process all the thoughts on your own first before speaking them aloud. Todoroki was the perfect person to walk in at that moment, because he was one of the people who would just sit in the moment with him, able to provide support by simply being there. 

Deep down Izuku really knew why he was so angry. He knew why he was so jealous. But if he admitted it to himself, that would make it true. If he said it out loud, he could never take it back. It would be out in the world forever, and Izuku wasn’t ready for that. 

Yesterday had been a mere fluke. It had allowed him to exist in a fantasy land where he could pretend that one day he would tell Kacchan how he felt, and Kacchan would feel the same. But it was just that, a fantasy. Izuku had been foolish to let himself get his hopes up. Kacchan barely tolerated him. There was no chance he would ever want more out of their relationship, they were hardly even real friends. And if he told Kacchan, he would lose the one small thing they had together. He couldn’t bear to do it. That would break him. So he held his feelings tight in his chest, and vowed to never tell a soul. It was safer this way. It was just a silly crush, Izuku would get over it eventually. It was so stupid now that he thought about it. Him and Kacchan? Pfft. That could never work. 

Izuku vaguely registered Todoroki’s hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, and was confused for a second as to why. Then he noticed there were hot tears streaming down his face. Oh. Oops. He hadn’t meant to start crying. That was embarrassing. But the only one to see him was Todoroki, who mercifully said nothing as he sniffled and wiped his eyes. Man, he really was a crybaby wasn’t he? A bubble of laughter rose in Izuku’s chest and he had to resist the urge to chuckle at himself. Izuku wasn’t even exactly sure what he was crying about. He just knew that he longed for something unattainable so deeply, and it hurt worse than any broken bone he’d ever had. 

It wasn’t fair. 

Chapter Text

Katsuki woke up to a soft knock on his door. His limbs still felt like lead and his head was still pounding, but he didn’t feel as bad as the past two days. His throat felt significantly better and he wasn’t nauseous this morning. Rather than feeling like he had one foot in the grave, he felt more like he had a bad cold. 

At first he thought it was Deku at the door, but then he remembered he had asked Hair for Brains to come over last night. Katsuki cringed, he had been so sure that was a good idea last night, but now he was regretting it. He did not want to talk about this with literally anyone ever. It was absolutely humiliating. Maybe Katsuki could convince Kirishima that he just wanted to see him. No, that would never work. Katsuki wasn’t the type of person who asked people to come over just to talk. He actively avoided talking to people in general. He would have to think of a more believable lie once Kirishima came in.

“Come in.” 

The door opened to reveal a stupidly grinning redhead. 

“Morning Bakugou!! Feeling any better today?”

Katsuki winced, “I’d be better if you weren’t screaming at me.”

Kirishima blushed, “Oops, sorry. I’ll talk quieter.”

He walked over to Katsuki who refused to move from his comfy spot on the bed and seemed to take that as an invitation to sit on the foot of it. His smile faltered into something more concerned.

“So… what’s wrong? Did something happen with you and Midoriya? You guys seemed to be getting along really well last night.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes, “Why do you assume something is wrong just because I said I wanted to talk? And why do you assume it has to do with Deku?!”

Kirishima shrugged, “Well you sent me a really ominous text at 4 in the morning, and the only thing I could think of that you would want to talk about was if you fought with him or something.”

“Why would that be the only thing I’d want to talk about?!”

“Well I mean you do talk about him a lot….”

“HAH?!!?! NO I DON’T!!”

Kirishima chuckled, “Yeah you do man, you always rant about how annoying he is and how you’re totally gonna beat him one day.”

Katsuki  blushed furiously, mortified. This was so much more humiliating now because Kirishima’s automatic assumptions were almost completely right. There was no way he was gonna confess now.

“Never mind. It doesn’t matter.” 

Kirishima gaped, “What?! No man I was just teasing you, you can tell me anything!”

“No it’s stupid, I shouldn’t have asked you to talk about it in the first place.”

Kirishima’s shoulders slumped, “Dude don’t do this. I don’t care what it is, I won't laugh at you or anything!”

“I highly doubt that.”

“No I swear I won’t.”

“I don’t care. I changed my mind, now get lost.”

“Duuuuudeee stooooopp. I want to help you!!”

“Tch. As if I need your help.”

“Bakugou pleeassseee”

“No.”

“Come on man, I swear I won’t tell anyone, whatever it is!!” 

Katsuki sighed, “Anyone?”

Kirishima perked up, “Anyone.”

“You swear it?”

“I swear on my life.”

“You swear on your mother’s life?”

“I swear on my entire family’s lives.”

Katsuki considered this for a moment. 

“Ok fine. I’ll tell you,” Kirishima beamed at this, “but if I get word you’ve told a single soul, even by accident, I will kill you and your entire family without hesitation. Got it?” 

Kirishima nodded solemnly, “I understand.”  

Katsuki went silent again. His heart pounded with anticipation and discomfort. He really, really hated this. He hated talking about any kind of feelings, but romantic feelings? And romantic feelings for his rival ?!? That was the very last thing he even wanted to think about, let alone say out loud. But he had to talk to someone or he was going to explode, so he took a deep breath and said it.

“I-”

He was abruptly cut off by another knock at the door. Katsuki let out a frustrated groan. He had just worked up the nerve to say it, and someone decided to intrude now?!?! Kirishima talked to whoever it was, probably Deku, and came right back onto the bed. Kirishima and Katsuki then spoke at the same time.

“It was just Midoriya coming to check on you again-” 

“I like him.”  

Kirishima froze.

“What?”

Katsuki looked down, face burning.

“You heard me.”

When Katsuki finally raised his head again, Kirishima was gaping at him. 

“Wait, what? You- huh? You like Midoriya? What do you mean? Like you guys are friends again? Or- I mean, uh-”

“I mean I like him.”

“You like him? You like him?”  

“Yes, unfortunately,” Katsuki replied through gritted teeth.

“No way. What? Honestly man I’m in shock. This is literally the last possible thing I thought you would say. What? Duuuuddeee. I can’t even process this information. This is crazy!! Wow bro that’s so manly!!” 

Katsuki glared, “NO. IT’S NOT!!”

Kirishima misinterpreted his outburst, “Awww broooo don’t be embarrassed, I’m so happy for you!! Are you gonna tell him soon?”

“What? Wow you really are an idiot. Of course not!!”

Kirishima paused, frowning. 

“What? Why not?”

Katsuki stood up with a huff and started pacing the room.

“I should’ve known you wouldn’t get it.”

Hurt flashed in the other boy’s eyes, “What do you mean bro? I thought it was pretty obvious he likes you back.” 

Katsuki scoffed, “No he doesn’t. He’s just tagged around me for as long as I can remember, he admired me when we were brats for some god forsaken reason. I don’t know why he’s still around.” 

Kirishima still looked very confused. God, Katsuki was so stupid. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut. Now he was going to have to tell Kirishima why he didn’t have the right to like Deku. His chest ached, but not from sickness this time. Kirishima might not want to associate with him anymore after he found out, which would be understandable. Who would want to stick around someone like him? 

“What do you mean? I mean I know you guys didn’t get along in middle school, but you guys are getting really close now!”

“It wasn’t just middle school, it started when we were really young. We didn’t just ‘not get along’ I bullied him relentlessly. I hated him for a really long time, and took out all my anger on him. I treated him horribly.” 

Kirishima hesitated, “Well maybe yeah, but that was the past! You were just a kid, and you’ve changed a lot. I bet he’s already forgiven you for all that.” 

“You don’t understand, I never even apologized.”

He frowned, “Well then that’s your first step. It’s never too late to apologize.”

Katsuki raked his hands through his hair, temper rising, “You don’t get it, you don’t know what I said!!” 

“I’m sure it couldn’t have been that bad-”

“I told him to kill himself.”

    Silence. 

    Silence.

    Silence.

“He still hadn’t gotten his quirk yet but was trying to get into UA. My exact words were ‘just pray that you’ll be born with a quirk in your next life, then take a swan dive off the roof of the building.’ ” 

The silence in the room was deafening. Katsuki had never admitted this to anyone before. It sounded even worse out loud than it did in his head, where his horrifying words constantly played on loop. Guilt, remorse, and shame crashed over him like a tidal wave. That one sentence was his biggest regret in his entire life. Katsuki would do anything to reverse time and take it back, but he couldn’t. He could never change what had happened. He had crossed a line that should have never been crossed, and created a permanent rift in their relationship that day. 

    Kirishima didn’t speak for a long time. Katsuki couldn’t meet his eyes so he honestly thought the other boy might have just left. He wouldn’t blame him. Who would want to hang around the guy who told his crush to off himself? 

Katsuki’s eyes burned with unshed tears. No no no, he was not going to cry in front of Kirishima. Crying in front of Deku was one thing, this was entirely different. He trusted Kirishima with his life, but he had already humiliated himself enough in the span of 5 minutes. Then again, he probably couldn’t possibly make himself look worse than he already had. 

He blinked furiously in an attempt to clear his blurry vision. This was so stupid. He wasn’t going to cry over something so ridiculous. What was he even that upset about? The fact that he had been a dick? Or the fact that because he was a dick, his crush would never like him back? This is why Katsuki hated feelings, they are stupid and confusing. 

“Did you mean it?”

Katsuki’s head snapped up instantly at the sudden question.

“What?”

“Did you mean it? Did you really want him to die?”

“NO!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I’VE NEVER ACTUALLY WISHED DEATH UPON SOMEONE.”

Katsuki sat back on the bed, still unable to meet Kirishma’s eyes

“Obviously I know it doesn’t give the right impression when I yell ‘die’ and ‘I’ll kill you’ to people all the time, but I never wanted him to die. I may be a jerk, but I wouldn’t have said it if I thought he would actually do it. But that doesn’t change what I said. I’ve never regretted saying something more.” 

He finally looked up to see Kirshima considering his words. 

“Well, you’re definitely on the right track by the fact that you recognize that what you did was wrong and regret it, but you’re right. It’s in the past, so you can never take it back. But, I know you’ve changed a lot since then. I’m not gonna pretend I know everything about you, but I can tell you’ve become a different person from who you were even just from the beginning of the school year. People make mistakes and say things they regret all the time, and what you did was terrible, but not unforgivable. Now you just have to give him a proper apology and hopefully he’ll forgive you. I don’t think he would hang around you so much and still want to be your friend if he was still upset about what you did. Honestly, I think he’s already forgiven you.” 

“That’s the PROBLEM!!” Katsuki slammed his fist onto his desk, now standing up.

“The stupid nerd is too forgiving. He finally learned how to stand up for himself after all the years yet he still hangs around me like nothing ever happened. I don’t deserve his forgiveness, especially since I haven’t even apologized, but he handed it to me like it was nothing. Doesn’t he understand he deserves better than that?! He’s worth so much more than that and he doesn’t even get it!” 

“But it’s his choice to forgive you. Whether you think you deserve it or not doesn’t matter, because he’s the one who gets to decide that. Maybe he does need to value himself more, but you can’t make him change.”  

“How do I even- how am I supposed to ask him to be okay with how I acted towards him in the past? How am I supposed to tell him I have feelings for him when I don’t deserve to even be near him-”

“It’s his choice, Bakugo.” 

“WELL HE’S MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE!!” 

Katsuki’s voice broke, “He made a terrible mistake, choosing to chase after me all those years, choosing to be friends with me now. He’s an idiot. And there’s no way he likes me back. Even if he said he did, how could I know it was real? What if he’s in love with this fake, idealistic version of me he’s always had built up in his head, and when he finally realizes it’s nothing like the real thing, he- he leaves?” 

There was a pause. All the fight from a moment ago drained out of Katsuki, leaving only sorrow. 

Katsuki grimaced, “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I would rather spend the rest of my life hiding my feelings from him like a coward than risk losing him forever.” 

Katsuki regretted talking to Kirishima about this. It brought up too many feelings, too much regret, too much pain. It made his chest twinge and his stomach hurt. His usual strategy when it came to emotions was defaulting back to anger and taking it out on something or someone else. He realized this wasn’t a great coping mechanism, but it worked. He didn’t want to feel the sadness anymore. He tried to push it down and replace it with anger. It worked a little. Katsuki’s hands suddenly twitched with the need to punch something, or set off explosions. Kirishima seemed to notice this change. 

Kirishima sighed, “Look man, just start small. Apologize to him, and let him know that you understand what you did was horribly wrong and that he doesn’t have to forgive you. After that you can decide what to do next.” 

Katsuki huffed. This actually wasn’t a bad idea, but it’s not like he was stoked at the idea of having to finally face his stupid fear and apologize to the nerd. It was also a good plan because it meant he could put his weird feelings aside and forget about them for the moment. 

“Ok.” 

Kirishima smiled softly with a hint of encouragement. 

“You got this man. He’s a great guy, he’ll hear you out.” 

“Yeah… I know.” 

———————————————

Izuku eventually stopped crying and wandered back to his room to work on some homework. He knew he should probably go check on Kacchan soon, no doubt Kirishima had left his room a while ago. It was going to be a bit awkward after last night. Especially since Izuku was still a bit upset about this morning. He couldn’t get mad at Kacchan for something so small though, and he shouldn’t let it keep him from helping his friend. This was what Izuku repeated to himself as he knocked on Kacchan’s door, trying to look casual. Kacchan made a noise that indicated he could enter, and he saw the other boy writing something in a notebook. Izuku moved to peek over his shoulder and the notebook was quickly slammed closed. 

Izuku raised his eyebrows, “What are you doing?”

Kacchan huffed, “None of your business nerd.” 

Izuku rolled his eyes, “Why is everything such a big secret with you? Would it really kill you to indulge anyone on what you're thinking about and feeling sometimes?”

“Feelings are for losers. I don’t have any of those.”

“That is the biggest lie you’ve ever told.”

“Not lying. I’ve literally never felt a single thing other than rage in my life.”

“Did you just….make a joke?”

“No. I’m dead serious right now.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you joke around before.”

“That’s because I’m not joking.”

Izuku smiled softly, “Sure.”

“But seriously. It would help to talk about your feelings once and a while instead of bottling them up.”

Kacchan’s expression soured, “Why does that even matter to you? Do you just feel the need to stick your nose in everything?”

Izuku scowled, “I’m not trying to stick my nose in anything.” 

“Yes you are. You always do this, it’s not your job to fix everything.”

“I’m not trying to fix you!! I’m just trying to help you because you're my friend and I worry about you!!”

“Tch. Well you shouldn’t. I’m fine. Besides, I do talk to someone sometimes.”

Izuku’s face burned hot with anger, “Yeah, the only person you ever trust with that stuff is Kirishima. ”

This caught Katsuki’s attention. This was an odd comment from Deku. Why would he care if he talked to Kirishima? They were friends, and Deku wanted him to talk to a friend so bad, so what was his problem? He finally looked at the other boy properly and noticed his eyes were red and puffy. Had he been crying? He was definitely upset about something he wasn’t letting on about.

“What are you mad about?” 

Izuku blinked, shocked that Kacchan had picked up on his mood. He realized he wasn’t the best at concealing his feelings, but he thought he hadn’t been that obvious, and Kacchan was terrible at reading people. 

“I’m not mad,” Izuku lied. 

Katsuki didn’t buy it for one second. 

“And you had the audacity to call me a bad liar.”

“Hey!” 

“Just telling it how it is.”

Deku groaned, “it’s just- it doesn’t matter.”  

Katsuki raised his eyebrows, “Really? That’s kind of ironic considering not two minutes ago you were bugging me about talking about feelings, but whatever. I’m not like you, if you wanna be a whiny brat and not tell me, fine. I don’t care.” 

But he did care. He wanted to know what was bothering Deku and help him fix it, just like Deku wanted to do for him. But Deku was being stupid and stubborn, just like Katsuki. So he wouldn’t push it. If the nerd wanted to talk about it he would.

Izuku was somehow further angered by Kacchan’s statement. He knew the other boy was right, he was doing exactly what Kacchan was doing. But hearing him say he didn’t care hurt. It made him want to scream and cry and ask him why he refused to admit he cared. Because Izuku knew Kacchan cared. Maybe not as much as he cared about Kirishima, but he still cared. He just wanted to hear it. For Kacchan to confirm it with his words. He wanted to feel cared for by Kacchan.

The next couple minutes passed in tense silence. After a lot of contemplating, Katsuki finally broke it.

“It matters.”

Deku’s eyes widened, “huh?”

Katsuki groaned and covered his eyes with his hand. He really hated saying cheesy crap like this but he knew he needed to be more honest about his feelings with Deku for him to do the same. He really, really hated it, but for Deku he would try. He would try to be better at communicating, and better at feelings. Katsuki owed it to him. 

“I mean, you said it didn’t matter but I’m saying it does matter. Whatever it is that’s bothering you.”

Deku narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean? I haven’t even told you what it is yet, so how do you know it’s not something stupid or small?”

Katsuki exhaled, “Even if it’s stupid or small it still matters, because it upset you.” he cringed, this was really painful to say.

“And I,” he cleared his throat, trying to sound nonchalant as his face burned red with embarrassment, “I lied. I do care. If something is bothering you, I want to know because……I don’t want you to be upset.”

Izuku blinked. Never, in a million years, had he expected Kacchan to say something so kind and genuine. It almost made him tear up with joy. Almost. Izuku was tempted to be incredibly happy that Kacchan admitted he cares about him, but he needed to remember why he was angry. He was happy about their progress, but he was still hurt. There were still things they needed to discuss. Kacchan wasn’t going to like it, but he had opened the door for him to start this conversation, so he went for it.

“Well…okay… I- I’m upset with you.”

“Oh.” 

Kacchan seemed almost…..sad. Or maybe, disappointed even? He didn’t seem surprised though, it was as if this was exactly what he had expected but he wasn’t happy about it. 

He sighed, “Why.” 

Izuku’s insides squirmed. This was going to be so awkward. He wasn’t exactly sure how to explain that he hadn’t really been upset about seeing him with Kirishima, just the thoughts that it had brought. He was struggling to form the words and knew that Kacchan was going to be annoyed and probably wouldn’t understand. But he decided it was worth a shot anyway.

“Well….it wasn’t really something that happened today, just something happened that made me think about something that upset me.” 

Kacchan looked slightly bewildered, as if he had never experienced such a strange thing before. Nevertheless, he nodded for Izuku to explain himself further. Izuku hesitated, and he should’ve known Kacchan would become impatient.

“Are you gonna tell me what it was or not?”

Izuku sighed, “It’s gonna sound so stupid.”

“Just say it.”

“Ugh, fine. I got upset after seeing Kirishima in your room this morning.”

Izuku blushed and ducked his head. This was humiliating. There was no way Kacchan was going to get it. He would just ridicule him. Kacchan’s face was contorted in a rare expression of genuine surprise.

“Hah??” 

“I told you it was stupid!!!!”

“Well right now it sounds stupid because you haven’t given a reason. Why would that upset you?”

Izuku sighed, “It’s just, well, I’m really happy you’re such good friends with Kirishima really! I love that you have real friends now. It just makes me a little….jealous.”

Kacchan paused, “Why?” 

“Well it’s just…it just makes me angry to see you let him in so easily after such a short time when I chased after you for years and got nothing but resentment in return. It just seems unfair to me that he did so little to earn your respect but you gave it to him like it was nothing. I just don’t understand what’s so much better about him, what he has that I don’t. Because I believe…. I- I believe I deserve your respect more than anyone, and just wish that you would treat me as well as you do him.” 

It took every ounce of confidence he had to utter those words. Izuku was so scared to damage their fragile bond, but knew that if he did, it wasn’t worth wasting his time with Kacchan anyway. That would be his sign to stop trying and move on. It would hurt, but if Kacchan couldn’t even hear him out, he deserved better. 

Deku’s words felt like a punch in the gut. As much as Katsuki hated it, what he said made sense. He did let Kirishima in quicker, and was much nicer to him. But the thing was, his relationship with Kirishima and his relationship with Deku were completely different things entirely. First of all, he had met Kirishima after middle school, when he had begun to realize how much of a jerk he was and had already begun to try to do better. Secondly, Kirishima never idolized or admired Katsuki like Deku did, or pursued his friendship nearly as hard. They had become friends pretty quickly and casually, it wasn’t some weird big thing involving a lot of emotions. 

Third, Kirishima is just a friend. Katsuki never had anything more than platonic feelings for him, and he also never hated Kirishima. There were a lot of conflicting feelings in Katsuki when it came to Deku. The most obvious being how he used to hate the guy. Then his eventual respect. And then well….. whatever he felt for Deku now. He wouldn’t quite call it love just yet, but definitely something deeper than what he felt for Kirishima. 

“You’re right.” 

Deku looked up, “What?”

Katsuki chose to stare at the wall behind Deku, “You do deserve my respect. I guess you didn’t realize it because I suck at showing it, but I do respect you. More than most people I know.” 

“Oh. Wow, you do suck at showing it because I would have never guessed that.”

“OI! SHUT UP NERD!!”

He held his hands up with a small smile, “Your words not mine.”

Katsuki sighed, “And… you’re right about the whole Kirishima thing. Nothing about him is better than you, it’s just different for us.”

Deku looked down, “Yeah… different..” 

Katsuki furrowed his brow, “What are you going on about now?”

Deku’s head snapped up, “Oh so now I’m ‘going on’ about things?”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Katsuki groaned, “There’s something else you’re not saying.” 

“Maybe there is.”

“Well are you gonna say it or not?”

“I’m not ready to talk about that yet.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes, “Why not? Wouldn’t it be easier to just talk about it all right now?” 

“That’s not how this works.”

“Well I don’t understand how it works!!!!”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“EXCUSE ME?!!!”

Izuku chuckled softly, “Don’t worry you’re getting there.”

“WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!”

“It’s a good thing! I mean you’re getting better at, like, having conversations about feelings and stuff. It’s not something that’s easy for you, and I can tell you’re putting in an effort.”  

Katsuki scoffed as if to deny it but inside he felt a bubble of pride. It felt good to be recognized, especially by the nerd. 

Deku’s phone vibrated.

“Oh Uraraka needs help with her homework, I better go. See you later!” 

He flashed Katsuki one of his signature heart stopping grins and dashed out of the room. Katsuki felt a pang of sadness, wishing the nerd had stayed longer decided he should probably catch up on his homework, and then he could finish drafting his apology. That’s what he had been working on when the nerd walked in, he had been so relieved Deku hadn’t pushed harder to see what he was working on. He would have been mortified if Deku had glimpsed what he was doing. Imagine if someone found out he, Bakugo Katsuki, was practicing writing out his apology to make sure it was perfect. He would never live it down. 

The reason he was writing it out was not so  he could rehearse it or anything stupid like that. It was because he had a lot of things he needed to say, and Katsuki had never been good with words. He knew that if he came into it unprepared and he took one look into the nerds big doe eyes that made his heart beat too fast, his thoughts would get jumbled in his head and he’d end up saying something stupid. So he wrote it all out. This way he’d be able to think through everything ahead of time and form coherent things to say. Katsuki knew all the carefully crafted sentences would probably fly right out the window when the moment came, but it couldn’t hurt to attempt to prepare. So prepare he would, because the day was coming soon. 

Chapter Text

“Hey where have you been?” Uraraka asked as Izuku walked over to where she was seated on the couch. 

“Oh just talking with Kacchan!”

Kirishima, who had been intensely focused on his game of Mario Kart with Kaminari and Sero, abruptly turned to Izuku.

“What were you guys talking about?” 

“Oh you know nothing much, just stuff…” he attempted to brush off.

“What kind of stuff?”

Izuku raised an eyebrow. He wasn’t sure what suddenly made Kirishima so interested in his conversation with Kacchan, but it was kind of weirding him out. 

“Uh I don’t know, just stuff,” Izuku tried to make it clear that he wasn’t willing to discuss it, but Kirishima was relentless.

“Did he, you know…?” 

The longer this conversation went on the more confused Izuku was. What was Kirishima talking about? Sero and Kaminiari seemed to be just as puzzled. 

“What are you trying to ask him, man?” Sero questioned. 

“I was just curious if they talked about anything specific…” Kirishima replied very suspiciously.

“What is it?” Izuku was getting slightly annoyed with this weird back and forth.

“Well if you haven’t then I can’t tell you!”  

Izuku sighed in exasperation.

“Dude you’re being so weird.” Kaminari piped up, and Izuku would have to agree.

“He clearly doesn’t know what you’re talking about so either tell him or stop grilling him about his private conversation.” Sero said, to which Izuku was very grateful. 

“Never mind. It’s not really my business anyways, I was just curious.” Kirishima turned back to his game. 

Sero, Kaminari and Uraraka (who had been listening to the conversation) shot Izuku questioning looks. Izuku just shrugged, and they dropped it. Izuku had no clue what Kirishima was so curious about, could it have something to do with why he had been in Kacchan’s room this morning? 

“Anyways, could you help me with the English homework? I’m struggling, it's so hard ughh.” Uraraka said, tearing him away from his thoughts. 

“Yeah sure!” 

————————————————

Katsuki was cleared by Recovery Girl to go back to school the next day since he hadn’t had a fever again and was feeling significantly better. He was glad to not be feeling like crap anymore but he had forgotten how annoying the extras were. Apparently they had all been extremely concerned, they acted like he had been on his deathbed when he came back. He guessed Deku had probably told them not to bother him while he was sick, for which he was extremely grateful, but now they were back to pestering him like usual. 

As they walked to class, Mina was chattering excitedly about how he had missed Dunce Face and Eye Bags finally “becoming official” or something, but Katsuki wasn’t really listening. His mind was far away from the conversation and there was dread in the pit of his stomach. Today was the day, it was time. He didn’t feel ready, but he didn’t think he ever would. As Kirishima would say, if Katsuki didn’t “man up” and do it now, he would just keep putting it off forever. This apology was long overdue anyways, so the sooner the better. He knew these things, and was aware they were facts, but that didn’t make him any less nervous. No, not nervous. Why would he be nervous? He was Bakugo Katsuki for god’s sake he never got nervous. Nope, never.

Though his mind seemed to understand that he was definitely 100% not nervous, his body was not on the same page; he couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing. Mina suddenly snapped her fingers in front of his face. 

“Are you even listening to me?” 

“No.”

“He didn’t even deny it HA!” Kaminari laughed.

“UUGHH RUDE!! I’m just trying to keep you up to date on all the tea!!!” Mina whined.

“I don’t care.” 

“Don’t care that I’m a great friend who is keeping you informed or don’t care about the tea?”

“Both.”

“WHAAA- you are so meeannn!! How could you not care about the intricate details of your friends' love lives????” 

“Love is stupid. I don’t have time for that crap.”

At this, Kirishima, who had been watching the interaction with an amused expression, made eye contact with Katsuki and raised his eyebrows suggestively. Katsuki sent him a death glare, but he could feel his face heating up. 

“Ooooh Kacchan’s blushing, what’s that about?” Kaminari cooed. 

As they made their way into the classroom Katsuki gave Dunce Face a threatening look.

“Choose your next words very carefully.” 

“Do you have a cru-” 

Kaminari was abruptly cut off by Katsuki’s hand covering his mouth and shoving his face away with probably more aggression than necessary. 

“Ooooh yeah do you have a secret girlfriend?” Mina interjected.

Apparently he wasn’t aggressive enough.

“NO RACOON EYES SHUT UP!!”

“Seems kind of defensive for someone who doesn’t have a secret girlfriend…” Sero joined in the teasing. 

“I can promise you I have never and will never have a girlfriend.” 

“Aw don’t be like that!! You’ll find your girl one day!!” Mina encouraged.

Katsuki rolled his eyes as he took his seat.

“No, I definitely won’t.” 

“Why not?” Mina pouted.

“Because I’m gay.” 

His entire friend group froze.

“What?” Kaminari asked.

“I’m gay? As in I like guys? Do I need to pull out a dictionary for you idiots?!”

There was a long pause where they just stared. Mina was the first to snap out of the shock. 

“WHAT?! NO WAY!!! HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN???” 

“I don’t know, a while? Does it matter??”

“OF COURSE IT MATTERS!!! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US UNTIL NOW!!!!” 

“Because it’s not a big deal.”

“YOU DIDN’T TELL US EVEN AFTER I CAME OUT AS BI TO YOU GUYS?!” Kaminari yelled, looking scandalized. 

“You never asked.” 

“KIRI DID YOU KNOW THIS?!!?!” Mina screamed. 

“Uhh… maybe?” Kirishima scratched his neck and smiled sheepishly.

“WHAT?!?! I FEEL SO BETRAYED!!!” 

“And I thought we were friends!!” Kaminari wiped fake tears out of his eyes.

“You guys are just the idiots who follow me around, don’t flatter yourselves by saying you're my friends.” 

Katuski smirked as they both dropped to their knees and dramatically cried out about how mean he was. 

“Honestly, I didn't expect it from you but that’s cool bro.” Sero said.

“Yeah for real!! I’m a little offended you told Kirishima before us though.” Mina said, sticking out her bottom lip.

“I’m just upset my gaydar is so broken!” Kaminari cried. 

“Now I have a new mission,” Mina announced, eyes gleaming, “find Blasty the man of his dreams!!” 

“Absolutely not.” 

Little did they know he already liked someone, and they were never gonna find out if he could help it. 

“Do you not trust my matchmaking skills? Or is there already someone??” Mina grinned mischievously. 

Katsuki tried, he really, really tried to keep the embarrassment off his face. He tried to keep his glare neutral, but found himself blushing yet again. Why did his stupid face keep doing that? It was so annoying. Mina gasped dramatically.

“So there is someone? OMG tell me tell me teeelllllll meeeeee!!”

“NO, STUPID, THERE IS NO ONE!! AND EVEN IF THERE WAS I WOULDN’T TELL YOU WITH YOUR BIG MOUTH!!! NOW SHUT UP ABOUT MY NON EXISTENT LOVE LIFE BEFORE I BLOW YOUR FACE OFF!!” 

“Oh there’s definitely someone.” Sero smirked. 

“NO THERE IS NOT!!!”

“Kirishima?” Sero asked, and their heads swiveled towards the redhead. 

His gaze shifted away and he fiddled with his tie awkwardly, completely giving Katsuki away. Katsuki mentally noted to never trust a bad liar like him ever again. 

“OMG THERE IS!! IS HE AT UA??!” Kaminari said way too loud, their other classmates were starting to stare at his point.

“First of all there is no one, secondly even if there was someone I would never tell you, and third even if I did tell you, and THAT’S A BIG IF, you would have to keep quiet about it, which you are showing me right now that you are incapable of that.” 

That shut them up real quick.

“Oh right, right for sure, we can keep your crush a secret, don't worry!!” Kaminari whispered.

“Yeah you can trust us Blasty!!” Mina added.

“Go away.”

“Come on pleeassseeee!!” Mina pleaded.

Deku suddenly entered the classroom with Pink Cheeks and IcyHot. His seat was right behind Katsuki, and if he heard his stupid friends talking about him having a crush he would either get the wrong idea and think he liked someone else, or figure out that Katsuki liked him . Knowing the nerd it could easily be either, and neither of those options was something Katsuki wanted.

“Guys, SHUT UP!” Katsuki hissed at his idiots.

“Stop being so mean, we just want to be supportive!!!” 

“You can be supportive by shutting up RIGHT NOW!!!” He whisper yelled slightly frantically as Deku approached. 

Kaminari and Mina seemed to take notice of his desperation and smirked at each other.

“If we shut up right now will you tell us who it is later?”

Katsuki paused. There was nothing he wanted less than to tell them about his dilemma, but it was about to become worse if they didn’t stop talking. Deku was almost right next to him now and could definitely hear them. Katsuki groaned.

“FINE!!!”

“Wait actually?” Kaminari gaped.

“If you change the subject RIGHT NOW I’ll think about it!!” He hissed. 

For once the idiot parade actually listened. As Deku sat down, Kirishima jumped in to help and started talking about some new hair gel he got the other day. The others acted as if this is what they had been discussing the whole time and listened raptly to him ramble on about how his hair gel made him feel “super manly” or something like that. Katsuki’s eyes darted to Deku, and he was incredibly relieved when the nerd didn’t seem to pick up on anything unnatural about their conversation.

This relief quickly turned to dread when he realized the hole he had just dug for himself. 

——————————————— 

Kacchan had been acting weird all day.

Not in the same way he had been acting weird the day he got sick, a much different kind of weird. He was actively avoiding Izuku and refusing to make eye contact with him. It was a bit hurtful if he was being honest. He had thought their last conversation had gone surprisingly well, but maybe he had read it wrong. Could Kacchan maybe just want some space to think about what Izuku had said? Or was he mad at Izuku for something? Well he didn’t really seem mad, he was more on the side of fidgety and anxious. That was very uncharacteristic of Kacchan, so maybe there was something going on with him that he didn’t tell Izuku. Maybe it was related to whatever Kirishima was trying to see if Kacchan had told him yesterday-

“What’s that about Bakugou?” Uraraka interjected from across the lunch table. 

He flushed, realizing he had been muttering his thoughts out loud again. 

“Oh n-nothing I was just thinking about that weird interaction with Kirishima yesterday..” 

“Yeah that was strange, do you have any idea what he was talking about?”

“No clue.”  

“You sure do talk about Bakugou a lot though!” 

Izuku wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He definitely thought about Kacchan a lot, especially lately… but did he really talk about him all that much? Apparently enough for Uraraka to notice. Hopefully no one else did, lest they get any ideas..

“It’s probably because he is in love with him.” Todoroki said tonelessly, without taking his eyes off his soba.

Welp.

Guess he was a lot more obvious than he thought. 

Izuku’s face instantly burned hotter than Todoroki’s left side. 

“Wha- what??? I- uh- N-no I! I’m not!! Why would you think that!?!?!” 

Uraraka gasped dramatically.

“OH MY GOSH HE TOTALLY IS AAAAHHH HE’S SO RED HAHAHA!!!!”

Izuku could not have possibly been more mortified. His friends had just discovered his secret crush, which was embarrassing enough, but now Uraraka was SCREAMING about it to the entire lunchroom. Izuku buried his head in his arms and sank as low as he could in his seat. He thought maybe if he stayed incredibly still in this position, he could become invisible. Unfortunately, he was wrong.

“Uraraka quiet down! You shouldn’t yell out Midoriya’s private information in the lunchroom!!” Iida scolded.

“Oh right!” Uraraka exclaimed, Izuku could practically hear her blushing.

“Sorry Deku,” she whispered, “it’s just so exciting!! But you don’t have to be embarrassed, it's just us!! So come on, give us the tea!!!” 

“There’s not tea, I’m not- it’s not- I don’t- I-”

“You’re making it even more obvious that I’m right.” Todoroki smirked.

Izuku groaned dramatically. 

“How did you even figure it out?” He whined.

“It was pretty obvious. You stare at him a lot when you think no one’s looking and I’ve seen you make up excuses just to talk to him before. Whenever you talk about him you get all starry eyed and say things like ‘Kacchan’s amazing.’ Also you guys are always training together privately and talking to All Might. Not to mention when he was sick you carried him all the way to Recovery Girl, stayed in her office with him all day, half carried him back to the dorms, made him dinner the next day, and when he fell asleep on the couch carried him up to your room and slept on the floor so he could use your bed.”  

Izuku gaped at him. Wow, he really was being obvious. So embarrassing…… He really hoped Kacchan hadn’t figured it out yet. Though he figured Kacchan would tell Izuku immediately if he knew and then never speak to him again. Yeah, that definitely sounded realistic. So good, he didn’t know.

“Okay okay you got me… don’t tell anyone though!!” 

“Of course we won’t Deku!!” Uraraka chirped.

“You are a dear friend to me Midoriya, I would never share your secrets. I will do everything I can to ensure no one finds out!!” Iida replied, chopping his hands in emphasis. 

“I won’t tell anyone. I only brought it up because I wanted to talk to you about it.” Todoroki said stoically. 

“Oh?”

Izuku wasn’t sure why Todoroki would want to talk to him about this, he wasn’t typically one for gossip. It struck him as odd that Todoroki even noticed his affection for Kacchan. He was usually pretty oblivious when it came to anything socially. Todoroki finally looked up to direct his piercing gaze at Izuku. 

“He’s not good enough for you.” 

Well that was not what he expected. 

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Todoroki said, and with that, he left the lunch table.

“Woah woah you can’t just make a bold statement like that and then leave!!! What’s your problem with Bakugo?” Uraraka said. 

After throwing away his leftovers and trash he returned to the table.

“I don’t have a problem with him, I just know Midoriya could do better.” 

“Well I mean maybe, but you can’t control what your heart desires!!” Uraraka exclaimed. 

“Urarakaaaaaa!!! Don’t say it like that, it's weird!!” Izuku cringed.  

“Sorry!”

The teasing grin on her face said she was not sorry in the slightest.

“I’ve just seen how he’s treated Midoriya and I don’t trust him to be a good boyfriend.” Todoroki continued.

“Well sure he’s brash and loud but that’s just how he is! I just know he’s a big softie at heart. He pretends not to care about anybody but you know he does deep down. Besides, he and Deku have been getting along great recently just like you said!!” Uraraka defended.

“While that is true Uraraka, I do remember Bakugou specifically targeted Midoriya to torment in the past. The way he previously acted towards Midoriya was unacceptable, and if I remember correctly you said he was worse in middle school right?” Iida piped up.

“Well….yeah. Yes. It was… pretty bad. But he’s changed a lot since then.” 

“Just because he’s acting nice now doesn’t mean he won’t go back to how he was before though.” Todoroki said.

“Hmm I mean it’s not entirely impossible but that seems kinda unlikely that he would just revert back to his old self after a while of changing for the better.” Uraraka said.

“I agree with Uraraka on that, but the fact still remains that he was quite terrible to Midoriya at one point in time. That isn’t something to just brush past. While it is great that they have become better friends, pursuing a romantic relationship might not be a good idea given their history.” Iida stated.

Todoroki nodded.

“Exactly.” 

“That is just my opinion, but it is still up to Midorya to decide. If he trusts Bakugou and decides to put the past behind them, it could end up working out,” he turned to face Izuku, “But it might not. Though I would not enjoy seeing you get your heart broken, I want you to make your own decision on what you think is best. If it would make you happy and you think it would work out, I say you should go for it.” 

“I totally agree!! I want you to be happy but I also don’t want you to get hurt. It’s like my mom always says, ‘Follow your heart but take your brain with you.’ ” Uraraka said more seriously this time.

“I still don’t trust Bakugou, but I trust your judgment. I might not agree but I’ll support whatever you decide to do.” Todoroki said. 

Izuku smiled sadly. He appreciated his friends' protectiveness and support, but it didn’t matter in the end. He wasn’t going to tell Kacchan either way. 

“Thanks guys, I really appreciate the advice, but I’m not gonna tell him.” 

Uraraka gaped at him.

“Why not?” 

“I just know there’s no way he feels the same, so I’d rather just hide my feelings until I eventually move on than ruin our friendship.” Izuku replied just as the bell rang signaling the end of lunch.

His friends exchanged glances as they got up to leave.

“And I thought I was supposed to be the clueless one.” Todoroki said.

“Huh?”

——————————————-

Katsuki was seriously regretting maybe-sort of-accidentally promising to tell his friends who his crush was. It had been difficult enough to tell Kirishima, but telling his whole friend group? Absolutely not happening. Unfortunately, Katsuki is many things, but a liar is not one of them. He was not going to go back on his word like a coward. 

So this is why his friends all sat crowded on his floor looking up at him on his bed like a bunch of toddlers waiting for story time. They were getting on his last nerve. He was already tense with nervous anticipation for his talk with Deku tonight and now these bastards were making him admit something really embarrassing. Katsuki wished he could just fast forward through this entire day and deal with the aftermath rather than experience it all. 

The biggest problem he would face after this was that if he just told them the name of who he liked and gave no other details like he wanted to, they would expect him to do something about it. They didn’t know why he couldn’t. So, he would have to tell them everything. He had trusted Kirishima would still be his friend after he found out the full extent of his past with Deku, but he wasn’t sure about these guys. Sure, they were his friends, but it seemed likely that they might not want to hang out with him anymore after hearing about his middle school self. Not that he cared or anything. 

“Sooo are you gonna tell us or what?” Kaminari asked.

“Yeah come on, we are waiting!!!” Mina added.

Katsuki opened his mouth to snap at them when Kirishima interrupted.

“Guys be patient, you know this is hard for him.” 

The idiot squad's faces turned more serious and they nodded in understanding.

“Don’t worry dude, we’re not going to tease you or anything.” 

“Yeah this is a safe space Blasty!! No secrets will leave this room!” 

“Yeah man, we're not gonna judge you!”

Ha. They said that then, but they had no idea what he was about to tell them. 

You know what? No. Who cares what they think. If they can’t accept Katsuki for who he is then he’s better off without them. It’s all in the past right? So there is nothing they or Katsuki can do about it anymore. The best he can do is be honest with them, and figure things out with the one person who really has the right to care about their history: Deku. If they don’t want to be friends with him after this, so be it. He doesn’t need friends anyways. But even if he did, he could find better friends that would be okay with the fact that he used to be a douchebag and made a lot of mistakes. 

With this in mind, he gathered all his confidence and started.

“You idiots better get comfortable because it’s a long story..”

———————————————

Katsuki stood outside of Deku’s room later that night, working up the courage to knock on the door. 

His friends had actually been really nice about their whole conversation earlier. They basically agreed with Kirishima on everything, even the idiotic notion that the nerd was, in Mina’s words “so obviously in love with him.” They couldn’t be more wrong about that part. Katsuki shook himself, that didn’t matter right now. One thing at a time. He thought about his friends' words of encouragement when he had told them he was doing it today. As much as he’d love to deny it, their relentless love and support gave him a feeling comparable to only that of being wrapped up in a warm blanket by the fire on a cold night. 

“You got this Blasty!” 

“Don’t be nervous, it's gonna go well!! Midoriya is super sweet and understanding.”

“It might be awkward but he’s really gonna appreciate it and it’ll help your relationship grow stronger! You got it bro.” 

Hell yeah. Who was he kidding, he’s Katsuki freaking Bakugou. He can do this. 

He knocked. 

After a yelp and some noises of fumbling around the door swung open. 

“Oh hey Kacchan!”

Deku was wearing his quite literal “pajama shirt” paired with his fuzzy All Might pants, staring at Katsuki like his arrival was the best thing to ever happen to him. How he was able to look at Katsuki like that after everything, he had no idea. 

“Kacchan? Did you need something?”

Kacchan was staring at Izuku with an odd expression, and hadn’t said anything since knocking. A good 30 seconds had passed since then, and his silence was starting to weird Izuku out. 

“Is everything ok?” 

He looked… sad. His stern scarlet eyes that usually hide all emotion behind the facade of anger were now filled with regret and sorrow. Izuku was beginning to worry, something really bad must have happened for Kacchan to come to his room looking like this. Now that he thought about it, maybe it had to do with why he was acting weird today. And maybe it was too connected to what Kirishima was talking about. Whatever it was, he wished Kacchan would just say it. Just say something. The silence was making him really uncomfortable.

“Kacchan? Are you feeling bad again or did something happen-”

“I’m sorry.”

Izuku froze. He heard Kacchan’s words but they weren’t really processing. 

“I’m so sorry Izuku.”

And suddenly Kacchan was hugging him. 

It took Izuku an embarrassingly long amount of time to recover from his shock of Kacchan hugging him and finally hug him back. It was just like the other night, but way better. Because this time it was Kacchan that was hugging him, not the other way around. Izuku soaked in the sweet smell of his sweat and the feeling of home as he stood in Kacchan’s embrace. 

Katsuki really didn’t want to let go of Deku, but he knew he had to break away to continue their conversation. So he carefully unwrapped his arms from Deku and took a step back. He took a deep, steadying breath. 

“Listen, I came here to apologize. But don’t interrupt me and say ‘it’s ok’ or ‘it’s in the past’ or some ridiculous crap like that because it’s not ok. I don’t care if we were younger, I don’t care if I’ve changed, I don’t care if it’s in the past. It still happened.” Katsuki stated firmly, holding painful eye contact with the other boy. 

“I was a jerk. Well, I still am a jerk, but I was obviously a lot worse before. I treated you horribly, and you never deserved that. I can’t change the past but I at least want you to know why.”

“I felt threatened by you. When I looked at you I saw someone who was born with nothing, but was going to change everything. You’ve always been so determined and fierce. Even when you knew you couldn’t win a fight you would stand your ground anyways. Even when everyone told you that you could never be a hero you ignored them. Even when you knew you would never get a quirk you kept pushing on despite that.”

“I could tell you had the brains to be a hero too. You did really well in school obviously but what freaked me out was your notebooks. You could always make freakishly accurate analysations of different heroes and their quirks, in a way that I never would even think to do.”

“But worst of all, I could clearly see you had the heart of a hero. The one thing I lacked the most. You were so passionate about saving people, and you were so kind to everyone. You would defend the same kids who tormented you from other bullies. You stuck around me, even when I tried everything I could to get you to go away. You were so relentlessly selfless and optimistic that it pissed me off to no end. I didn’t understand how someone with nothing could have everything I didn’t.” 

Katsuki paused to take another deep breath. 

“I thought that if you could become a hero despite everything, if you could achieve your dreams even as the world pushed against you, then what did it matter if I could do the same? What would all my hard work matter if I could only do as good as someone without a quirk?”

Katsuki swallowed and looked down.

“It’s true that I looked down on you because you didn’t have a quirk, thinking I was better than you. But the real reason I was so awful and tried so hard to get you to give up is because I was worried I’d lose to you. I was insecure about myself, and was terrified that one day you would become better than me, and that would make me the useless loser. I would become some nobody who lost to someone quirkless.” 

“I thought that if I was mean enough to you, you would just give up eventually. I thought if you stopped trying to be a hero, I would have nothing to worry about. Seeing you work so hard and have so much potential made me feel weak and pathetic, and I hated feeling like that, so I tried to make you feel it instead.”

He looked back up to meet Deku’s wide eyed gaze. Locking into those innocent green eyes felt like a stab in the heart. 

“I didn’t mean it when I told you to kill yourself. I really didn’t. It was such a stupid thing to say, but I didn’t think you’d ever do it. So I said it. And I-”

Katsuki’s vision was blurring, he blinked furiously. He didn’t deserve to cry over this. It was his fault. Nobody but himself is to blame.

“I’ve regretted it ever since. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done to anyone. And I understand if you can’t forgive me for that, but I just wanted you to know how sorry I am, and how much I hate myself for who I used to be.”  

There was a long stretch of silence. So long, Katsuki believed the conversation was over. He thought it might go like this, that Deku wouldn’t be able to forgive him but wouldn’t want to say anything to hurt his feelings. Katsuki sighed and turned to leave, only to feel a hand grab his wrist. 

“Kacchan, I- I forgave you.”

Katsuki stared at Deku, tears streaming from the other boys eyes.

“Thank you, for telling me everything, and apologize if. But I forgave you for all that a long time ago.” 

Katsuki felt his temper rising, he abruptly snatched away his hand.

“Why?!”

Deku seemed taken aback by his question.

“What do you mean-”

“Why would you forgive me before I even apologized?! Why would you forgive me when I never even deserved it?!”

Katsuki’s voice was quickly increasing in volume, and he could feel tears now freely flowing down his face but he didn’t care. He was infuriated and hurt, and all he cared about was getting some sense into the stupid nerd’s head.

“HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID?!”

“Kacchan-”

“WHY WOULD YOU EVER STAY AROUND SOMEONE LIKE ME?!” His voice broke, “all I’ve ever done to you is tell you you're worthless and make your life miserable yet you still choose to forgive me and insist on being my friend!!! Why?! Why can’t you see that I don’t deserve your forgiveness?! Why would you waste your time fighting for someone who is so weak they had to push you down to feel better about themselves?!” 

Izuku gaped at the other boy in shock. Was this really how Kacchan saw himself? Izuku hadn’t realized he had been holding in all this self hatred all this time. Then he remembered what he had said at Ground Beta.

“Why did I end up having to chase after someone who was always so far behind me?”

“Why did you get so much better, but I destroyed All Might?!”

“I admired him so much, but it’s because of me that he ended up losing his power!!”

“If I had been stronger, if I hadn’t been kidnapped by villains..”

“I can’t get it out of my head, it’s like it’s constantly playing on loop!”

He sounded just like he did then as he spoke now. Desperate, guilty, and broken down. Kacchan put on an act for everyone around him, pretending like he was the best at everything and he knew it. He acted like he could care less what anyone thought of him, because he knew he was the best, he even said it explicitly. But really, he continuously harbored all of this guilt and self-hatred. He put so much pressure on himself that he was cracking from the weight of his own expectations. They would need to talk about that one day, but now was not the time.

How Kacchan had treated him was wrong, and it had made him feel awful at times, but he had moved on already. He put it behind him a while back when Kacchan started to get better and things were changing between them. Izuku wasn’t one to hold grudges, and he could never hold one against Kacchan. He believed everyone deserves forgiveness, no matter what, so of course he forgave Kacchan. 

“Kacchan, you’re not weak, you just made mistakes. We were kids, and everyone treated me that way. The teachers practically encouraged it! But you were the only one to actually see that what you did was wrong and apologize. Everyone else just moved on with their lives and forgot about ‘that quirkless kid.’ And I forgave you before you apologized because I could tell you were sorry by your actions. They always say ‘actions speak louder than words’ and it’s really true! If you had apologized before changing, I might have been more hesitant to forgive you, but I’ve seen the effort you’ve made to do better. And you don’t get to decide if you ‘deserve’ my forgiveness or not, that’s for me to say. Even if you feel like you don’t deserve it I want to give it to you anyways.” 

“But, why ?” 

Izuku almost didn’t hear him, his voice was barely at a whisper now; a drastic change from just a moment ago. Instantly his mind flashed back to the other day when Kacchan had asked him the exact same question. He hadn’t realized the boy’s meaning at the time, but now he understood. He was really asking why Izuku had never given up on him, why he had stuck around all these years.

“I kept following you because I admired you. I could tell even when we were kids that with your ambition and amazing quirk, you would make a great hero one day. I wanted to be there when you did, because even if I couldn’t be a hero I knew you could.”

Izuku paused, debating whether or not to say what he was thinking. It was a little embarrassing, but he thought Kacchan needed to hear it. 

“I’ve always been drawn to you because… you always knew what you wanted and were so sure you could get it. Anything you wanted to do, you did. Your determination and that crazy passion to win were always really inspiring to me.” Izuku turned his gaze to the ground, “Sometimes I find myself unconsciously mimicking you when I get really riled up trying to win something even now… it’s like… well… you’re like my Symbol of Victory.” 

When he lifted his head again he found Kacchan staring at him with wide eyes. Once he recovered from his surprise he looked to the ground for a moment and seemed to collect himself. Then he sighed, and slid down to sit with his back against the wall.

“You’re such an idiot.”

“What, for looking up to you?” 

“No, for giving up on your dreams of being a professional hero stalker obviously.”

“Haha.” 

“But seriously. You’re crazy.” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

Izuku sat down next to him.

“But I don’t regret anything.”

“Really? Not any of it?” 

“Nope.” 

There was a moment where they both just sat there in silence, feeling the weight of all the emotions. The rift between them that they had created began to slowly melt away, bringing them closer than ever. 

“Then you’re even crazier than I thought.” 

Chapter Text

The rest of the week and the next passed by uneventfully. Not much was different except the fact that Izuku was hanging out with Kacchan a lot more. They used to only spend time alone together when they were doing One For All training (and even then All Might was almost always there for that) but after Kacchan’s apology things were a lot more relaxed with the two of them. They could talk more easily without feeling this odd separation like an invisible wall was always standing between them. 

They wouldn’t do anything super fun or interesting, just little things. When Izuku needed help on his homework Kacchan would help explain whatever he was struggling with to him. Eventually they started sitting together when they did their homework and helping each other study on most afternoons. 

One morning Izuku had woken up earlier than usual and was eating his breakfast alone when Bakugo came in dressed in gym clothes and sweating.

“What are you doing?” He had asked.

“What does it look like, idiot? I went on a run.” 

“Oh. Do you go on a run every morning?” 

“Yeah pretty much. Sometimes I change it up and do other stuff because running can get boring though.’

Izuku hummed in response, taking a bite of his toast.

“Bet you couldn’t handle my morning workouts.” Kacchan had teased with a devilish grin. 

“Oh yeah? We’ll see about that.”

“What, you think you can beat me at my own game?”

“Yes, actually I know I can.”

“Ohoho someone’s feeling cocky this morning. We’ll see how you feel tomorrow morning when I destroy you.”

“What time?”

“Meet me in the common room at 5 am. Don’t be late.”

“I’ll be there.” Izuku grinned. 

So now that Kacchan had gotten Izuku to start working out with him in the mornings, Izuku wanted to get Kacchan into doing something he usually did by himself too. He thought he should try to get the other boy to try some sort of hobby, or maybe several. Maybe if he tricked Kacchan into thinking it was some sort of competition, he could help him relax and take a break from all the stress of school and training. Things were getting increasingly more stressful as the semester went on, and they had both seen better days. They could use a break to have some fun every once and a while. 

Izuku was brainstorming ideas of hobbies he thought Kacchan might enjoy when the boy himself walked in the common room.

“What are you doing?” Kacchan asked and plopped down next to him on the couch.

Izuku looked down at the hat he was crocheting. His mom had taught him how to crochet when he was in middle school, and he had recently started doing it again when he was bored. It supposedly helped with arthritis, so he thought maybe it could help keep his gnarled hands from getting too stiff. He had stopped when he had gotten lost in thought without realizing it, and now he had a perfect idea.

“Just crocheting a hat.” 

“Oh,” Kacchan inspected his work before grinning smugly, “what are you an old grandma?” 

“Sure, but a grandma who could make a better hat than you.” Izuku teased.

Kacchan immediately took the bait.

“EXCUSE ME?! I could make the best hat in the world if I wanted to. No scratch that, I could make a whole sweater.”  

“Prove it.” 

“Oh you’re on.”

So that's how he got Kacchan into crocheting. It was a lot easier than he anticipated if he was being honest, he figured any hobby he suggested Kacchan would call it “stupid” or a “waste of time.” But Kacchan was eager to learn so that he could “win” at crocheting, if such a thing was even possible. Izuku offered to teach him how, but he insisted on learning himself in order to make it “a fair competition.” It didn’t take him long to figure out the basics by watching YouTube tutorials in his free time, and soon he was hard at work on his sweater. 

His friend group took every chance they had to tease him, so when they found out about his project; they were ecstatic. Kirishima laughed, but assured that he thought Kacchan’s new hobby was “super manly.” Kaminari, Mina, Sero, and a few of their other classmates were not as kind. They had taken to calling him different variations of “grandpa” or “granny” or even “old hag” (which is ironically how he refers to his mother, so that one annoyed him the most) but he surprisingly didn’t get that mad about it. He mostly just ignored them or said stuff about how he was just “proving his superiority over them” or “they wish they had his skills.” It brought a smile to Izuku’s face to see his little plan working. But Kacchan didn’t need to know that.  

————————————————

Things were going well. Really well, actually. Ever since that night, Katsuki and Deku had started hanging out a lot. It was weird, because if you had asked him to voluntarily spend time with Deku for more than five minutes or run into oncoming traffic, he would’ve been out the door faster than you could say Plus Ultra. But now, he was actively seeking out Deku’s company, and enjoying it. Katsuki was actually the happiest he had been in a while. It was hard not to be happy when hanging out with Deku. He had a way of being able to brighten the entire room with a simple smile, and he had the most infectious laughter Katsuki had ever heard. 

Katsuki had decided to pretend his feelings didn’t exist, but it was getting harder by the day. Sometimes he found himself itching to ruffle Deku’s soft green curls, or pull him closer so he could count all the adorable freckles on his face. His hand tingled every time it brushed against the other boy’s and he had to fight the urge to reach out and intertwine their fingers. Sometimes when his friends were talking at lunch he would unconsciously stop listening and stare across the room at Dekuwait what? No he would never do that, that would be so creepy and obsessive….. 

But sometimes Katsuki would make excuses to hang out with the nerd. Though he would never admit it, he had heard Deku muttering about wanting him to try a hobby of some sort, but decided to pretend he hadn’t so they would have something to do together and talk about. Despite what many may think, he really didn’t feel the need to compete with Deku in everything, he just liked to. Deku challenged him to push himself and try new things, plus it was… fun. Any extra moment he could spend in the presence of adorable Deku and his sunshine smile and his breathtaking eyes and his-

Oh no.

Oh no.

This was getting out of hand quickly.

He had it so bad. 

—————————————

Izuku woke up screaming. 

He couldn’t remember what was happening or where he was, all he knew was Kacchan was gone. Kacchan was gone.  

He scrambled around in the dark for his phone where he immediately called the other boy without thinking. As soon as it started ringing reality started catching up with his brain. He was fine right? It was just a nightmare, he was in his dorm… everything was fine right? But he needed to be sure. 

Surprisingly, Kacchan picked up after only a few rings.

“Whas goin on? Smthn wrong?” Kacchan asked, voice slurred and heavy with sleep, as he had just been abruptly awoken.

Just the sound of his sleepy voice brought instant relief. Kacchan was okay, Kacchan was alive, Kacchan was fine. Everything was fine. Everything was fine.

“Nerd? Hello? You got a reason for calling me at this unholy hour?”

Izuku swallowed, guilt filling the pit of his stomach for waking Kacchan up for something as stupid as a nightmare.

“Y-yeah n-no everything’s f-fine I… I just… n-n-needed to know you-you were o-okay.” Izuku replied shakily.

There was a moment where the line went silent. He almost thought Kacchan had fallen back asleep when he spoke again.

“I’m coming over.”

“W-what?!” Izuku squeaked, “no, you don’t need to-”

“Well I am. See you in a minute.” 

And with that he hung up. 

Kacchan reached his door in record time. It was almost like he ran all the way there.

“Hey. You had a nightmare?” Kacchan asked softly.

It was something about Kacchan coming over to his room in the middle of the night just to talk to him or just the gentleness in his voice that had never been there before that sent Izuku over the edge. He nodded and gripped his arms so tightly his nails were digging into his skin as he quietly sobbed. It was so stupid, he knew it was just a dream, but it had felt so real. It left him feeling shaky and scared and so… vulnerable. Like a villain could be here any moment now and snatch Kacchan from him right before his eyes just like the dream and he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. 

Kacchan approached him slowly and sat on the bed. He gently pulled Izuku’s hands off of his arms and into his hands. Kacchan’s hands were softer than he expected, considering the nature of his quirk. They were also nice and warm, and Kacchan was now using his thumbs to rub soothing circles on the back of Izuku’s hands.

“It wasn’t real Izuku. I’m right here. We’re okay, I promise.”

Izuku nodded silently again, his tears starting to subside and breathe evening out. Now the feelings of guilt and shame were creeping up inside of him. He shouldn’t have woken up Kacchan, that was rude of him. Was he such a pathetic cry baby he couldn’t deal with nightmares on his own? He needed someone else to comfort him like he was a child?

“I’m s-sorry I woke you up, y-you didn’t have to c-come here I would’ve been-”

“Stop. None of that crap. Don’t go beating yourself up for waking me up, I chose to come over here. I could’ve just gone back to sleep when you said you were fine, you didn’t make me come over.” Kacchan interrupted.

The other boy sighed.

“Nightmares are the worst. I’ve had them pretty bad since the sludge villain but it’s gotten worse since….you know. Well, everything that’s happened, but mainly training camp. What I’m saying is I know that it’s scary and it sucks, and you don’t need to go through that alone. You helped me the other day so I’m returning the favor.” 

That seemed to get through to the nerd at least a little bit. He hated seeing Izuku like this. Izuku was so optimistic, kind, and strong. Seeing him look so sad and scared reminded him of when…

When he used to make Izuku look like that. 

Katsuki wanted to do everything he could to never let Izuku look like that again. 

So he carefully drew the other boy closer until his head rested on Katsuki’s chest. The boy stiffened at first in surprise but quickly melted into Katsuki. They sat there like that for a while, Katsuki gently stroking Izuku’s arm until he eventually fell back asleep. Slowly and cautiously Katsuki laid the boy back into his bed, trying to be as quiet as possible as he crept out of the room. 

——————————————

“Bakugou. Bakugou pay attention.” 

Katsuki’s head snapped up from his notebook where he had been idly staring, to meet Aizawa’s annoyed glare.

“That’s the third time you’ve spaced out in the past 15 minutes. We’ll talk after class.” He said in a low voice.

Katsuki rolled his eyes huffed in annoyance. It wasn’t like he was doing it on purpose. He was just so… tired. And distracted. Normally he was very attentive in class, but recently he had been having trouble sleeping. Nightmares were becoming a nightly occurrence, and bad ones at that. It made him dread going to bed and returning to the dark abyss of his unconscious mind. This made it harder for him to fall asleep. 

He was extra tired today though because of what had happened last night. The little amount of sleep he would’ve gotten had been cut down significantly because of his trip to Deku’s room. Not that he was mad about that, he hadn’t minded. It definitely hadn’;t helped things.

The other thing was that he was often distracted nowadays, his thoughts often happening to circulate around a certain green haired nerd… 

But nobody needed to know about that.

After class he stayed sitting as Aizawa approached his desk.

“So. What’s going on with you?”

“Tch. Nothing is going on with me.” Katsuki rolled his eyes.

Aizawa’s glare intensified. Katsuki glared back. His teacher sighed.

“I’m concerned about you. It’s very unusual for you to not pay attention in class. Are you not feeling well again? You don’t look great either.”

“Eh? What do you mean by that?! What’s wrong with how I look?!” 

Aizawa inspected him closer.

“Have you been getting enough sleep?”

Katsuki looked down. He hated how quickly Aizawa figured him out. It felt like being under a microscope.

“That’s none of your business.”

“As your teacher I have to make sure you're taking care of yourself, which you have proven you are inept at, so it is my business.” 

Katsuki met his gaze again with another glare. They stared at each other for while before Katsuki caved.

“No. I haven’t. Is that all you needed to know? Can I go now?”

“No.”

Katsuki groaned. This was so stupid. How was this conversation helping him in any way? Aizawa wasn’t going to have a magical solution to make him have less nightmares and be able to sleep better. He was wasting valuable time by being here.

“Is there a reason you haven’t been sleeping well?”

Katsuki knew that Aizawa knew why, so he was getting really annoyed that he wouldn’t just ask him straight up. Why was he making Katsuki admit to his weakness? It irritated him to no end.

Katsuki mumbled a reply.

“What was that?”

“Nightmares. I’ve been having nightmares,” Katsuki said through gritted teeth, “but that’s nothing new because I’ve had them since before I even came here! It’s never been a big problem before so I don’t know why it is now but it’s stupid. When I sleep, I have them, so then when I try to go to bed-”

“You can’t fall asleep because you know they’ll come back.”

Katsuki narrowed his eyes.

“Yes.”

“I know because I’ve had that problem too. Recently even.” 

Katsuki blinked. I mean, it made sense that Aizawa would have nightmares, being a pro hero and all. He’s seen a lot of crap. But it was weird to hear him say it out loud. The ever stoic, unbreakable Aizawa, admitting to the same weakness Katsuki was struggling with. It was downright unnerving. 

“It’s a very common problem with heros, as you could probably imagine. I wouldn’t be surprised if your other classmates have them too. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

He knew that. It didn’t stop him from feeling embarrassed though. He was Katsuki Bakugou, he was supposed to be unbreakable. He was supposed to be tough and unphased. It pissed him off that something so seemingly trivial could hinder him in his journey to become a hero. 

“You’ve been through a lot in a very short time, Bakugou. We could look into getting you in counseling if you’d like,”

Aizawa held up a hand to stop Katsuki as he opened his mouth to protest.

“Before you say no, think about it. I’ve done counseling in the past and it’s really helped me, and plenty of other heroes I know. It could help you too. You wouldn’t have to continue if you didn’t like it. Trying wouldn’t hurt you.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to but I want you to know it’s a good option. We have several people with counseling degrees on staff, including myself. But we could also find you someone you don’t know if you’re more comfortable with that. For now just take some time to think about it. If you decide you want to look into it let me know. Or if you just want to talk to a trusted adult I’m always here.” 

Katsuki stared at the wall behind him. He was trying really hard not to explode, because this was making him really angry even though he knew it shouldn’t. Aizawa was right. And he was just trying to help. He just hated feeling like he was something broken that needed fixing. 

“Whatever you decide you still need to figure out a way to get more sleep or you’re going to hurt yourself going on like this. If you don’t solve this problem on your own I will have to step in, understand?” 

Katsuki nodded. 

“Good.”

Aizawa then allowed him to catch up with the others and head to lunch. He let Aizawa’s words sink in and mulled them over as he walked. He was glad to have someone who cared and was looking out for him.

—————————————-

Izuku felt horrible. Kacchan had gotten in trouble with Aizawa for almost falling asleep in class. Everyone could tell exhaustion was the reason for his inattentiveness because of the paler tint to his skin and dark bags under his eyes. Izuku was the only one who knew why. Kacchan was tired because Izuku had woken him up in the middle of the night because of his dumb little nightmare. It was rude of him to wake up the other boy, he should’ve been able to deal with it himself as he was sure everyone else did. None of his classmates were calling on each other for help when they had a bad dream like a little kid.

————————————

Katsuki lay in his bed, exhausted, but unable to drift off. Just like yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that. And all the days last week. 

He needed to figure this out. It was hurting his grades, making him extra snappy with his friends, and hindering him from training properly. Plus Aizawa would “step in” if he didn’t. He didn’t want to find out what that would entail. 

For this reason Katsuki walked down to the common room at 1:30 in the morning to make some tea. Certain types of tea were supposed to help with sleeping, and they had an abundance of teas in their kitchen thanks to Yaoyorozu. Trying some might not help, but he had to try something.  

He had just put his water on the stove to boil when he heard something. Instantly he was on edge, nobody should be down here this late. 

His fears were quelled when he saw a mop of green hair.

Deku was pacing around the common room in the dark, ringing his hands and muttering to himself. If Katsuki didn’t know the boy so well it would’ve looked very creepy. 

“Deku.” Katsuki whispered, trying and failing not to scare him.

Deku jumped and let out a sort of high pitched yelp.

“Oh! H-hi Kacchan. W-what are you doing down here?

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Deku sighed and looked at his feet in a way that could only be described as adorable ashamed.

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“Another nightmare?”

He shrunk into himself further.

“Yeah.” 

“We gotta stop meeting like this.” 

“Yeah.”

A few moments passed in a slightly awkward silence. 

“Uh so why are you down here?”

He realized Deku didn’t know they were having the same problem. 

“Couldn’t sleep either.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

Katsuki finished making his tea and poured Deku a cup too.

“Sorry I got you in trouble with Aizawa.”

Katsuki blinked. Of course Deku was blaming himself for that. Little did he know that his tiredness today was not a direct result of last night, but of the past two weeks of little sleep.

“Tch. Not everything is about you nerd. It wasn’t your fault, I haven’t been sleeping well either.”

Deku’s eyes widened. He hadn’t thought about that. That’s right, Kacchan had woken up from a bad nightmare just a few weeks ago when he slept in Izuku’s room. Huh. Well he wasn’t glad that Kacchan was struggling to sleep too, but it was nice to have someone else who understood.

A lightbulb went off in Katsuki’s head. He had the perfect idea. Why hadn’t he thought of this before?

“Come on. I’ve solved our problem.” Katsuki stated.

With that he grabbed Deku by the wrist and led him to the elevator.

“What? What do you mean? Where are we going?” Deku asked, bewildered.

“We both can’t sleep because we’re having nightmares right?”

“Yes.”

“And we have both been able to sleep better when we’ve been together, right?”

“Yeah..”

Izuku wasn’t sure where he was going with this. They stepped onto the elevator and Kacchan pressed the button for his floor, not Izuku’s, which was weird because Izuku’s was lower.

“Where are we going?”

“My room.”

“What?! Why?”

“As I was just explaining, we are gonna sleep together.”

Izuku’s jaw dropped. It took him a minute to recover from his shock and find his voice again, and when he did he knew his face probably matched the color of a tomato.

“WHAT?!” He squeaked.

Kacchan frowned. 

“You want to get some sleep right? It’ll be easier if we both have someone else in the room for when we get up. I don’t know, it might not work, but we could try.”

Wait… OH. Ok, Kacchan just meant sleep in the same room not… ok, that… that made more sense. That was a relief. 

“Oh ok, yeah we could try it.”

“Why did you make that face?”

“Haha uh nothing I thought you meant something else for a second…. Anyways! Who’s gonna sleep where? We both only have one bed.” 

As they walked to Kacchan’s room he explained that he had an extra futon in his closet Izuku could use, and they could switch who’s room they slept in every night so that they could each still get to sleep on a real bed. It wasn’t the perfect arrangement but if it could help, it was worth a shot. It worked especially well since they already got up at the same time to workout together everyday and did most of their homework together anyways. This did not make Izuku feel any less weird about it. Not so long ago Kacchan would have rather slept in the same room as Mineta than Izuku. So it was a bit shocking that Kacchan was the one to suggest it. It was also weird because well… you know… Izuku’s feelings for him and all that. But it wasn’t that weird for friends to sleep in the same room right? They were in different beds, so there wasn’t anything romantic about that. It would be fine! Totally normal and fine. 

“Goodnight nerd.”

“Goodnight Kacchan.”

His heart pounded furiously in his chest as he stared at the ceiling, listening to Kacchan’s soft breathing.

This was fine. 

Chapter Text

Katsuki’s plan worked. They both slept much better with the other person in the room, so things were going great. Aizawa had acknowledged his approval of Katsuki solving the problem, but luckily didn’t ask how he did so. Katsuki wasn’t sure if they were even allowed to sleep in each other’s rooms, and he didn’t want to have to stop. 

He had thought a lot about Aizawa’s offer and had decided to take him up on it. As uncomfortable as he was with the idea of talking about his feelings and problems with another person, if it would help, he would do it. Katsuki was no coward. He decided he would rather talk to a stranger than one of his teachers though. It seemed like it would be better to have someone to talk to who he wouldn’t have to see in a classroom setting everyday. 

So one morning he got up earlier than usual so he would have time to talk to Aizawa before class, when no one would be there to listen. What Katsuki forgot is that he has a roommate now. 

A sleepy, confused Deku blinked up at him blearily when he got up.

“Why’re you up so early? It’s not time yet.”

He mentally facepalmed himself.

“Sorry, I need to talk to Aizawa before class so we’ve got to start earlier. Unless little Deku needs his beauty rest?” 

Deku scowled at him.

“UGH fine. You owe me though.”

De-Izuku was not a morning person. It was kinda funny and really cute when he got all grumpy. Katsuki smirked to himself as he got dressed.

“How about I make your favorite cookies tonight?” 

Izuku considered this.

“Deal.” 

Katsuki had to drag Izuku out of bed, but eventually they made their way outside and did their morning workout. As they walked to class before everyone, Izuku asked what Katsuki had hoped he wouldn’t ask.

“Why do you need to talk to Aizawa so early?”

Katsuki didn’t want to tell him, since he was kind of embarrassed, but he’d promised himself he would be more open and honest with Izuku.

“He offered to help me get into counseling or some crap told me to come back to him after I’d thought about it. I thought it sounded okay and was maybe worth a shot so….”

Izuku seemed taken aback. Katsuki didn’t blame him, he knew the old him would’ve never considered asking for help about anything, especially not this type of stuff.

“Oh! That’s really great Kacchan! I’m proud of you for doing that!” Izuku beamed at him.

Katsuki glowed with pride. Not that he needed the nerd’s approval or anything… but it just felt good to have.

“Do you…” Izuku chewed his lip, “Do you think he could find me a counselor too? I’ve thought about it before but I didn’t know how to start…”

“You can come in with me to talk to him if you want.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to interrupt your private conversation-”

“Yeah nerd. I don’t mind you hearing.”

“Oh, okay! I will then.” 

They’d come a long way, hadn’t they?

—————————————

The next day Katsuki woke up to the sound of glass shattering. 

He immediately sat bolt upright and hurriedly searched for the source. He found the window broken and shards of glass littering the floor of Deku’s bedroom. Instantly Katsuki was on edge, trying to figure out what happened. Then he heard Izuku breathing heavily and turned to see him clutching a glowing hand. It looked like he had activated One For All, but why? Was he the one who broke the window, or did he just have to fight off a villain who did? No, he was still sitting in the bed, so that didn’t make sense. Maybe he should just ask.

“What are you doing? What happened to the window?” 

Izuku was pale as a ghost, and continued to stare at his hand with utter terror in his eyes. He never usually looked this scared after a nightmare, this was much worse. Katsuki came over to sit on the bed but Izuku scooted backwards.

“S-stay back! I-I didn’t mean to activate it, I don’t want to hurt you!” Izuku squeaked.

“You’re not going to hurt me.” Katsuki stated and got the other boy to let him get closer.

Izuku still wouldn’t look at him, and he was getting dangerously close to hyperventilating. It was freaking Katsuki out, what had got him this freaked out?

“Hey, hey, you gotta calm down, breathe nerd. In and out.” 

Katsuki eventually managed to get the nerd calm enough that he wasn’t worried he was gonna pass out, but he still looked awfully green.

“You gonna tell me what all that was about?” Katsuki asked.

Izuku took a deep breath.

“I- it was really weird, it’s kinda hard to explain… did I tell you about the vestiges?” 

“The what.” Katsuki deadpanned. 

Before Izuku could explain, his door abruptly swung open to reveal Aoyama, Mineta, and Tokoyami. There was a moment where no one moved. It hit Katsuki that this scene probably looked really weird to them. They had heard the glass shatter and come to find Izuku and Katsuki sitting in his bed together next to a broken window. He wasn’t sure what was going through their heads right now but none of it could be good. Eventually Katsuki got impatient with the stunned silence.

“What do you extras want? If you’ve got something to say just say it!” He scowled.

“We just heard a ruckus and came to see what happened, is Midoriya okay?” Aoyama asked.

Katsuki didn’t miss that he asked if Izuku was okay, not him, as if Katsuki was somehow responsible for this. He could see where the assumption was coming from, but it still pissed him off.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I-uh, I accidentally broke the window. It’s fine though! Neither of us got hurt.” Izuku reassured. 

There was another incredibly long, awkward pause. Finally someone addressed the elephant in the room.

“Why is-” Mineta tried to say.

“None of your business. Leave. Now.”

The “never speak of this again” was implied. They awkwardly shuffled away and Tokoyami closed the door. 

Katsuki turned back to Izuku. He was still staring at the door and seemed to have forgotten they were in the middle of a conversation before being rudely interrupted. 

“So? What are these vestige things?” 

“Oh! Right.”

Izuku then explained that he apparently had literally freaking ghosts living inside his quirk, as if that wasn’t completely insane. He told Katsuki all about his visions, the past users, and finally: his terrifying dream. 

“So you think you saw a memory of the first guy who had your quirk, who’s been dead for forever?” 

Izuku made a whiny distressed noise.

“I know it sounds super weird and crazy but I really think it was a memory! It was so real, and then at the end the guy started speaking to me about it-”

“Wait the ghost actually talked to you?!” 

“Yes! Right after All For One gave him One For All, the memory stopped, he called me ‘the 9th’ and said he ‘wished he could show me more’ and talked about me only using 20%… but the thing that was the most weird to me was when he said we were ‘long past the singularity point’” 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I have no idea!!” Izuku pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them tightly, “What if it’s something bad? What if it means-uh-I don’t know, somethings wrong with One For All? I wish I could ask that guy but I don’t know how…. They come on their own. I don't know how to reach them.” 

Izuku was terrified. His dream had been incredibly real and super weird. He had never accidently activated his quirk before, besides maybe the time with Shinso if you would count that….. It was just… unsettling. He wasn’t sure what to make of the dream, and it gave him this weird sense of foreboding, like the dream was warning him that something bad was going to happen soon. He had calmed down for the most part but his heart was still racing and he could still feel the first’s hand touching his. He could still see All For One’s sinister grin. He had started muttering and went to get up and pace the room when Kacchan grabbed his shoulders to keep him still.

“Slow down nerd. We’ll have to talk to All Might about it tomorrow, but there’s no reason to stay up worrying about it now. We’ve gotta sleep to be ready for training tomorrow, I heard it’s gonna be an extra difficult day.” Kacchan reasoned.

Izuku knew the other boy was right, he should really go back to bed. But that knowledge didn’t stop the nervous energy buzzing beneath his skin, and didn’t help him shake the feeling that he was a ticking time bomb set to go off at any moment. His mind was in a frenzy and the last thing he was going to be able to do right now was go back to sleep. Well… he could always pretend to go to sleep and wait until Kacchan fell back asleep and then go on an extremely early morning jog. He felt a strong urge to get some fresh air, and a compulsion to get up and just do something. Lying here with his thoughts sounded torturous. He had just decided his plan was pretty decent when Kacchan scowled at him. Izuku shot him a questioning look.

“I can see you planning to leave once I fall asleep. Going out in the dead of night isn’t going to help, it’s just going to make you exhausted for tomorrow. So I’m not letting that happen.” Kacchan stated matter of factly. 

Izuku huffed in annoyance.

“Well I’m not going to be able to sleep anyways so what’s the point of staying here?” Izuku shot back.

“Why do you think we’re doing this? We’re supposed to help each other, so I’m gonna do my job and force you to relax.” Kacchan grinned.

Kacchan stepped off the bed for a moment to pull back the covers fully and gestured for him to get in properly. Izuku reluctantly complied, and was just about to ask how he intended to ‘force him to relax’ when Kacchan did the unexpected. He climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms around Izuku. Izuku gasped quietly in surprise as Kacchan shifted them around until he was satisfied with their position in the bed. Kacchan was in Izuku’s bed. Kacchan was spooning him. Kacchan was cuddling him. 

Izuku’s brain shut down for a few moments.

Once he returned to the present, he felt so red he was sure his entire body had caught on fire. Oh my gosh. Oh my GOSSHHHHHHHHHHH. The good news is he was no longer freaking out about his dream. The bad news was he was now freaking out because his former childhood best friend then bully then rival now friend/rival and crush was in his bed cuddling with him. 

This was very out of character for Kacchan now that he thought about it. Well… Izuku guessed he had been acting a lot nicer recently and trying to be better so it wasn’t that far fetched but… woah. It's just-what? Izuku’s heart was pounding even faster than it had been before. Unfortunately, Kacchan could FEEL IT. 

“Chill out Izuku. We’re going to sleep whether you like it or not. Think of it like this, if you don’t get any sleep, you’ll probably keep me awake too. So if it helps you, think of this as helping me, not yourself, since your stupid nerd brain works backwards.” Kacchan whispered in his ear, so close, SO CLOSE. 

Izuku could literally feel the other boy’s breath on his neck and it sent shivers down his spine. But Kacchan was right, he needed to relax. He decided he would freak out about this and overthink everything that was happening later, for now he would do his best to relax in Kacchan’s warm, soft, arms. 

It was easier than he thought. He was asleep in minutes. 

Katsuki wished they’d been sleeping like this since the beginning. He hadn’t realized how much he had wanted to hold Izuku in his arms until the opportunity to do so presented itself. He was doing this for Izuku, not himself. He wasn’t enjoying this at all. Not one bit. Nope, this was simply a strategy to get Izuku to fall asleep. Nothing more. 

Hopefully this wasn’t a weird thing for friends to do.

————————————————

All Might hadn’t been much help. The idiot was apparently clueless about his own quirk, which seemed kind of ridiculous. How did he expect Izuku to figure all this weird crap out himself when he never did? It was pissing Katsuki off.

Apparently they were doing joint training with Class B today. That would be a cinch. Okay it’s not like they are bad or anything, but Class A had a lot more experience, had a lot of people with really powerful quirks, had an arguably way better teacher, were a lot closer and knew how to work well as a team. So yeah, he was pretty confident that they had this in the bag. 

That didn’t ease his nerves though. He wasn’t nervous for himself of course, but for Izuku. What happened last night had been… really weird. It felt like a foreshadowing that something bad was about to happen. Katsuki knew nothing had gone wrong with One For All during a fight before, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that might change today. Izuku didn’t seem as concerned, but he was a bit more jittery than usual. He seemed to be trying not to think about it, so Katsuki dropped the subject quickly.

“Aren’t you bothered that people saw you in my room last night?” Izuku whispered suddenly as they waited for the first match to start.

Katsuki was thrown by the abrupt question.

“Hah? No, why would I care if those extras saw us?” 

Izuku bit his lip and fidgeted with his costume nervously.

“Do you think… do you think our classmates thought that we were, you know…” 

He had no idea what the nerd was trying to say, but his face was growing steadily redder as he continued to stare at the ground, waiting for Katsuki’s reply.

“Think we were what? Just spit it out, I can’t read your mind, nerd.” Katsuki replied. 

“Doyouthinktheythinkwearesleepingtogether?” Izuku mumbled so fast Katsuki could barely make out what he said. 

“Do I think they think we’re sleeping together? Are you an idiot? I feel like it’s pretty obvious that’s what we were doing.” Katsuki rolled his eyes, the nerd could be so dense sometimes.

Izuku slapped his face with his hand.

“Kacchan nooo ugh. Like sleeping together, not like, actually sleeping together.”

Katsuki blinked. 

“You literally just said the same thing twice. How is sleeping together different than sleeping together?! You’re not making any sense.” 

Izuku groaned and raked his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“Like..” he made a totally not attractive whining noise and whispered something unintelligible.

“You’re gonna have to talk louder than that, nerd.” 

“SEX! DO YOU THINK THEY THINK WE ARE HAVING SEX TOGETHER?! THERE I SAID IT!” Izuku yelled in exasperation.

The other boy realized how loud he said that a second later and slapped his hand over his mouth, curling into himself instantly.  A few heads turned but they were a little farther away from most of their classmates so it seemed that luckily no one had understood what he said. Katsuki would have laughed at his little idiot if he wasn’t so shocked by his question.

“What?! Why would they think that?” 

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because we hang out all the time and now we sleep in the same room? At night? Together?” Izuku lowered his voice again, “In the same bed???” 

Oh. He hadn’t thought of it that way. 

“Well I guess they might think that, but we’re not, so what does it matter?” Katsuki shrugged. 

Izuku looked at him incredulously.

“What does it matter?! You don’t care that everyone could be thinking we’re just casually doing it all the time?!” 

Katsuki felt a flare of anger, and maybe a little bit of hurt. He didn’t understand why Izuku was making such a big deal out of this. Would he really be that embarrassed to have people think him and Katsuki were a couple? Well, at least this confirmed his feelings weren’t reciprocated.

“No, I don’t care what anyone thinks. If it makes you feel any better I’ll go tell everyone that there’s no way the great Deku would ever sleep with me.” Katsuki spat.

Izuku was confused. He wasn’t sure why, but Kacchan looked really angry all of the sudden. He had expected Kacchan to be upset when he realized what their classmates might be speculating about them, but he hadn’t gotten mad until Izuku asked him if he would be embarrassed. He had even used his old nickname again, which Izuku didn’t particularly mind since he had made it his hero name, but it felt intentionally rude. He hadn’t failed to notice that Kacchan had started making an effort to call him by his real first name recently, and he had grown to really like it. He didn’t understand what Kacchan was so mad about though.

“What do you mean by that?”

Kacchan only seemed to be more set off by his question.

“No no it’s cool, message received! You wouldn’t be caught dead sleeping with me, clearly. Whatever. Actually, I would be embarrassed. I’d be more embarrassed to be caught stooping to your level.”

Kacchan’s words felt like a slap in the face. The other boy shoved him out of the way and stalked off without another word. He’d already known there was no way Kacchan shared his feelings, but it hurt to hear them confirmed so aggressively. He could feel people watching them now, and had to fight to hold back tears. Stoop down to his level? He’d really thought Kacchan finally respected him, finally saw him as an equal, but he guessed he was wrong. Apparently Izuku was still leagues beneath Kacchan in the other boy’s eyes. It felt like a knife to the chest. 

Uraraka approached him and he quickly wiped his eyes.

“What was that all about? I heard you yelling and then Bakugo stormed off like a minute later.” She asked with wide, concerned eyes.

Izuku sniffled and put on a big, watery smile.

“It was nothing, just a little argument.”

Uraraka seemed skeptical, but let the subject drop at Izuku’s insistence.

For now he just needed to focus on the match, he could worry about his still bleeding heart later. 

——————————————— 

As he walked up to his group he was still very upset hurt angry, but he tried to shove those feelings down and focus on the impending match. He was gonna rock the crap out of this match and there was nothing stupid Izuku could do about it. After a few minutes his friends decided they had gone too long without annoying him, so Earphones decided to talk to him. He had thought he was sending out “don’t talk to me or I will literally murder you and your entire family” vibes, but aparantly they were either not strong enough, or she had no self preservation whatsoever. 

“You’re oddly quiet. Still brooding from your argument with your boyfriend?” Jirou teased.

Katsuki had half a mind to strangle her right there. Unfortunately, eliminating one of his own teammates before the match even began didn’t seem like it would help him win. 

“HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! He’s made it very clear that he doesn’t want that. And I’m not brooding.” Katsuki said through gritted teeth.  

Unfortunately, this piqued the  others' attention. 

“What do you mean? What were you guys fighting about?” Sero asked. 

“It’s none of your business.” Katsuki replied stubbornly.

“Dude, we can’t help if you won’t tell us what’s going on.” Kirishima said.

“I don’t need your help!!” Katsuki growled, temper rising.

“Well if you won’t tell us, we’ll just have to go ask Midoriya.” Jirou smirked.

“Do whatever you want, see if I care.” 

Kirishima raised his eyebrows. 

“You sure that’s okay with you man? Don’t you want to tell us your side of the story first?”

“If you want to know so bad just go ask the stupid nerd and get out of my face!!” 

He was too embarrassed to tell them he had basically been rejected by the nerd. As much as he hated to admit it, it was still too fresh, he might lose his tight grip on his emotions if he talked about it right now. Katsuki couldn’t afford to look weak, especially when he had a match to win.

————————————-

Izuku was listening to Uraraka, Todoroki, Iida, and Tsu speculate about how the matches would go when Jirou and Kirishima approached their group.

“Hey Midoriya! What happened with you and Bakugo?” Kirishima asked, concern evident in his eyes.

“Yeah he’s being an idiot and won’t tell us anything.” Jirou added.

Izuku bit the inside of his cheek and looked at his shoes, blinking hard. He really did not want to talk about this. It was humiliating and he was still really upset. He had just gotten over the imminent threat of tears spilling over and now they were back with vengeance.

“Midoriya won’t talk about it either. He keeps saying it’s fine but he’s been on the verge of tears since he walked over.” Todoroki said flatly. 

“Todoroki! That is very rude, you are going to upset him even more!!” Iida scolded.

Izuku took a deep breath. 

“It was just a stupid argument. It doesn’t matter.” He replied quietly, fighting to keep his voice steady.

“If it doesn’t matter then why are you so upset?” Tsu questioned.

“Because I get upset over stupid things,” Izuku chuckled humorlessly, “I’ve always been emotional like that.”

“Well he’s just as upset as you about whatever it is, no matter how much he denies it. Just tell us what happened and maybe we can help.” Jirou stated.

Izuku sighed.

“Well it’s kind of a long story…”

He explained how they had been sleeping in the same room, and slightly altered the situation with the broken window to avoid talking about One For All.

“And Mineta, Tokoyami and Aoyama came in after they heard the glass break, and they saw us, so I knew what they might think….”

“So I thought they might spread rumors about us, well mostly Mineta, and I thought that would make Kacchan mad, so I asked him about it. At first he didn’t understand what I meant so I had to explain what it looked like to other people and at first he acted like he didn’t care and I was really surprised because I thought he would be furious if people thought we were sleeping together but when I tried to ask him why that wouldn’t bother him he got all mad all of the sudden and said…”

Izuku had to take another deep breath and blink furiously.

“He said he would be embarrassed to be caught stooping to my level.” 

The tears he had been fighting so hard to keep in finally spilled over. Uraraka pulled him into a comforting hug.

“Oh. I think I get what happened.” Jirou said, staring into space for a moment.

“What do you mean? It’s obvious what happened, he insulted Midoriya and hurt his feelings so I’m gonna-” Todoroki started furiously before Kirishima held him back.

“No no, it was just a misunderstanding. I think what happened was when Midoriya was confused why Bakugo wouldn’t be angry that people thought they were sleeping together, Bakugo might’ve taken that the wrong way. What exactly did you say?”

Izuku repeated what he had said.

“And then what did he say?” She asked.

“He said something about how he would tell everyone he wasn’t sleeping with me, and then said something about the message being received, and that’s when he said he changed his mind and he would be embarrassed.”

Kirishima let out a soft ‘Oh’ and the others seemed to come to a mutual understanding, only Izuku was left out of the loop.

“What am I missing?” Izuku said, puzzled.

“Well, you didn’t do it on purpose, but you hurt his feelings.” Kirishima said.

“What?! How did I hurt his feelings?!” 

“Well you acted like you would be embarrassed if people thought you were sleeping together, so I think he took that to mean you would be embarrassed to be sleeping with him when you really meant you would just not want people to think you were sleeping with anyone. So he really meant what he said before about not caring, but then you offended him so he lashed out at you to try and save his damaged ego.” Jirou explained. 

Izuku paused to think through their conversation, and Jirou’s explanation made perfect sense. He was such an idiot, he hadn’t meant for it to come across that way.

“Oh. Well that’s not, I didn’t mean it like that-”

“Yeah, we know. But he doesn’t know that, so you just need to talk to him.” Jirou stated. 

Izuku nodded. As much as he wanted to figure this out right then, he needed to wait until after class. He felt much lighter now that he understood why Kacchan was so angry, so it would be much easier to focus on his match now.

Chapter Text

Katsuki nailed his match despite the whirlwind of annoying emotions threatening to pull him under the entire time, because he’s Katsuki Bakugou, enough said. 

It had been a really pleasant distraction actually, but now that it was over, he was back to stewing in the discomfort left behind from his conversation with Izuku. Honestly, he should’ve known. It made sense, who wouldn’t be embarrassed to be sleeping with their former bully? The person who suicide baited them in middle school? Katsuki knew this was what he deserved because of what he did, but it still really hurt. 

Speaking of the nerd, his match was starting. The tiny, evil gremlin part of Katsuki’s brain wanted to watch him fail. The rest of him knew he didn’t really want that. 

The match had been going fine, when something strange happened.

They couldn’t hear what Monoma was saying, but he was clearly baiting Izuku. Probably ranting about class B’s “superiority” and all those other crappy lies he told himself to feel better about being a loser. Izuku was starting to get agitated, but didn’t give in and reply. Then for a moment the camera caught his face changing to a look of pure anger, which he wasn’t used to seeing on the nerd's face, so it was odd. What was more odd is what happened immediately after.

Out of nowhere, black energy exploded out of his right arm. 

Fear shot through Katsuki’s veins like ice. For a second he was tempted to believe this was just some new move Izuku had been working on without him, but one look at the nerd’s terrified face said otherwise. Katsuki was frozen, watching in horror as this new power grew larger and began destroying things around him. 

The dream.

This must have been what it was warning him about. Something was wrong with One For All, and Izuku had no control of what he was doing right then.

The rest of the classmates watched in shock, even though they didn’t quite understand the gravity of the situation.

“When did Midoriya score another new move?” Sero said.

That is what snapped Katsuki out of it. He rushed forward to Aizawa and Vlad King.

“HEY!! You need to stop the match now!! He’s not doing that on purpose, he’s gonna hurt himself and the others!” He yelled. 

Aizawa glanced back at him with his usual scowl in place though Katsuki could detect a hint of concern in his eyes. All Might jogged up behind Katsuki.

“Young Bakugou is right! Something’s wrong!” He added.

Aizawa’s eyes widened slightly and he exchanged a glance with Vlad King.

“We’ll monitor the situation more closely, but I don’t want to stop it just yet.” Aizawa decided and started walking briskly towards the entrance.

Katsuki didn’t get why they wouldn’t just go ahead and stop the match. Couldn’t they see Izuku struggling? He looked like he was in pain, and was causing a lot of destruction to the facility. Katsuki wanted it to end, now. He couldn’t stand to watch this any more. 

“JUST STOP THE MATCH ALREADY!!! CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S SCARED? IT’S HURTING HIM!!” Katsuki screamed.

“Let us handle this. Midoriya is strong, if I think at any point we need to step in I will, but I’m sure he’ll figure it out.” Aizawa replied calmly, with something like understanding in his eyes.

“But-” 

“Bakugou, the teachers know what they are doing! I’m sure Midoriya’s gonna be fine!!” Kirishima assured, attempting to pull Katsuki back towards the others.

He hadn’t even seen the other boy walk up, he guessed he was making a bit of a scene so the others had noticed, but he didn’t care. All he wanted was for Izuku to be safe. He wanted to yell at Aizawa more but he had already rushed away, so he reluctantly walked back to the viewing area with Kirishima. He could feel his classmates' eyes on him but he kept his gaze glued to the screen. It was taking all of Katsuki’s self control to restrain himself from running out and helping the nerd himself.

“What’s happening to Midoriya? Did you say he’s not doing that on purpose?” Kaminari asked.

Katsuki didn’t look away as he responded. 

“I don’t know!! You can obviously tell he’s not, I mean have you seen his face? He’s freaking out!” Katsuki yelled as aggressively as he could but it came out slightly frantic. 

“Hey relax, I’m sure he’ll figure it out. The teacher’s will help if they need to.” Jirou said.

That didn’t make Katsuki feel any better. The teachers didn’t know about One For All, they didn’t understand what was going on. All Might didn’t even know fully. So it was doubtful they would be able to help him much; though he guessed Aizawa could always cancel out his quirk, he would need to get close to do that which would be difficult. Overall the idea that the teachers would help didn’t exactly help put him at ease because they had failed before. 

“It’s something with his quirk, something’s wrong with it,” Katsuki found himself admitting, “He should’ve told them and just sat out for the day, now the idiot is putting himself and everyone else at risk.” 

He noticed Kirishima’s puzzled look out of the corner of his eye.

“What do you mean something’s wrong with his quirk?” 

Oh, right, they didn’t know. Hopefully if he explained what happened without mentioning the dream part that wouldn’t make them suspicious and lead to more questions.

“He accidently activated it last night while he was sleeping. That’s what happened to the window.” He replied shortly.

“He broke a window in his sleep?! And wait, how do you know that?!” Kaminari exclaimed.

He could feel Kirishima and Jirou giving Dunce face warning looks, and he chose not to respond. Luckily he got the hint and dropped it. 

They all watched as Izuku continued to struggle with bated breath. Uraraka had reached him and was trying to help, but was thus far unsuccessful. Finally Shinso used his quirk on Izuku and the black energy suddenly stopped. 

“Yo! Haha yeah that’s my boyfriend!! Look at him saving his opposing teammate!” Kaminari cheered, and everyone collectively breathed a sigh of relief.

Katsuki let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, and Kirishima finally released his death grip on him. 

For a moment he was incredibly relieved, and couldn’t wait to hug the nerd as tight as possible and never let him go. Then he remembered their argument, and how he probably wouldn’t want to talk to Katsuki, and he huffed angrily.

Well the nerd was just gonna have to deal with it because he’d given Katsuki quite a scare, and even if he was opposed to the idea of them being together, they could still be friends. Honestly, maybe it was better that it had gone down this way rather than Katsuki admitting his feelings and making Izuku be weirded out and not wanting to hang out anymore. This way he knew how the nerd felt without causing any problems in their friendship. It was better this way anyways, they would have never worked as a couple.

Right?

Maybe if he kept telling himself this, it would make it true. Maybe if he kept repeating the words he would be able to accept them and move on. 

Maybe it would get rid of the ache in his chest.

———————————-

Izuku’s mind was flooded with a million thoughts moving faster than he could process all of them. They had won the match, and Izuku had actually been able to use his new power for a second. Now that the adrenaline had worn off and he had time to think about everything that had happened, he was positively overwhelmed. His legs felt like jello and he was absolutely not ready for the barrage of questions from his classmates about what had happened because he was still figuring it out himself.  

Honestly he wanted to find Kacchan immediately and tell him everything that had happened, but then he remembered Kacchan was still mad at him. They would have to talk about their argument and Izuku would have to apologize first, and he wasn’t sure he had the energy to do that right then. He truly felt like crying from the sheer amount of emotions and thoughts swirling around in him right now. He really needed a minute to pull himself together before facing the class in order to avoid having a nervous breakdown, but that didn’t seem like a possibility at the moment.

Unfortunately, he was right. Izuku’s teammates had done him the favor of giving him some space once it was clear he was still processing what had just happened, but the rest of his class was not so kind. In the blink of an eye, everyone was crowded around him.

“Dude that was crazy, what the heck?!”

“How did you do that?”

“Are you okay?”

“Have you been holding out on us?”

“Yeah, do you have two quirks and didn’t say anything? What’s that about?!”

“You really need to get that power under control! That was so scary!!”

“How come you’ve never used it before?”

Despite it being winter, Izuku suddenly felt uncomfortably hot. So many questions were being thrown at him all at once and it was making his head spin. He opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say and unable to get a word in. They were all so close . He really wished they would stop asking questions, stop crowding him, stop being so loud . All their questions were blending together in one cacophonous symphony. 

He unconsciously took a step back to try and escape the mass of screaming classmates when he stumbled and fell backwards, only to be quickly caught.

Izuku had never been so relieved to look into a pair of stern but soft, pretty crimson eyes. 

Of course as soon as the nerd got back everyone would all crowd him and scream questions in his face at once. As much as Katsuki had wanted to run up to Izuku and hug him as tight as he possibly could, he had held himself back. The others had zero social awareness, clearly. I mean, did they even see what just happened? Obviously he was shaken by the whole ordeal and probably doesn’t have all the answers about what happened yet. 

As Katsuki approached he could tell they were stressing Izuku out. His face was pale, eyes wide, and breathing shallow. No way on earth was Katsuki about to stand for this. How could the idiots not tell they were making him freak out even harder over the whole thing?!

“HEY!! BACK THE HELL UP!! GIVE HIM SOME BREATHING ROOM YOU IDIOTS, YOU WANT THOSE TENTACLE THINGS TO SHOOT OUT OF HIM AGAIN?!” 

This got everyone’s attention, and reluctantly they all took a step back and cleared a path for Katsuki. Izuku almost fell flat on his back so Katsuki had to jog up and catch him. 

“Deep breathes Izuku.” Katsuki whispered as he pulled him back up to a standing position. 

Izuku did as he said and seemed to be coming back to himself now that everyone wasn’t in his face.

“You good?” 

Izuku nodded. 

Katsuki decided now would not be the best time to hug him, and settled for grabbing his hand instead. If he had been looking at his face, he would’ve seen Izuku blushing at the gesture. He was overjoyed that Kacchan was holding his hand, even if he didn’t like him that way. At least he could pretend for a minute. Either way, it helped him steady himself so he could face the others. Kacchan’s hand was like an anchor keeping him from being overtaken by the raging tide of questions and uncertainties. 

By then Aizawa and the rest of the classes and teachers had walked over and it was time for his group’s evaluation. Everyone else moved behind the teachers to listen, except Katsuki. He stayed right by Izuku's side, holding his hand. Izuku explained what happened as best he could without talking about One For All, and everyone listened attentively. They seemed slightly disturbed by his answer, but no one asked him questions after that.

Izuku’s was the last match, so soon they headed back to the dorms. Katsuki stuck with Izuku the whole way back, and if he forgot to let go of the other boy’s hand, neither of them mentioned it. 

When they got back to the dorms Izuku pulled Katsuki aside.

“Hey, we need to talk.” He said quietly.

They had walked back in silence, since the whole day had been kind of chaotic and they both needed a break. Also the things they needed to talk about were not great to discuss in public. But now the time had come, as much as Katsuki didn’t want to. Part of him hoped that Izuku just wanted to explain the full extent of the situation about One For All. He did, but only after prompting, so clearly that wasn’t all he wanted to say. 

Katsuki didn’t want to talk about their argument, because he was worried about what the nerd would say. He had seen him talking to his little squad plus Kirishima and Jirou. They never told him what they said when they came back, so was it possible that Izuku had figured out Katsuki had feelings for him? Katsuki thought he was doing a pretty bad job of hiding it, so that was probably it. He prepared himself for the worst, thinking this would probably be the end of their friendship. Izuku would tell him how disgusted he was, how they could never be together, and shatter his heart in a million pieces. It would be fine though, Katsuki was tough. He could take it.

Right? 

“What I really wanted to talk about was our conversation earlier.” Izuku finally said.

The words filled his stomach with dread.

“I didn’t mean what I said in the way you thought I meant it.” 

Katsuki blinked. 

“What?”

Izuku sighed.

“I was freaking out because people might think we were sleeping together, which I now realize is a stupid thing to worry about anyways, but I wasn’t worried because it was you .”

Understanding flooded Katsuki’s mind. Of course he hadn’t meant it like that. He was so stupid, even if Izuku knew about his feelings, he wouldn’t be hurtful about it, that wasn’t his nature. He would let Katsuki down as gently as possible.

“I just didn’t want people to think I was… you know..like…”

“A whore.”

Izuku chuckled.

“Yeah something like that. I didn’t want to be the guy who was sleeping around or something. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings by insinuating that being with you would be a bad thing, so I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t sweat it. Sorry I said that other stuff about you, I didn’t mean any of that crap I just got defensive because I thought you were insulting me.” 

“Yeah I know. Don’t worry about it.”

“So we’re good?”

Izuku smiled.

“We’re good.”

They walked back to the common room in a comfortable silence. Katsuki was relieved, apparently Izuku hadn’t figured it out yet and wasn’t ready to ditch him just yet. Good. Hopefully he never would know. Things were back to normal between them which was great, and he’d like to keep it that way. That was, until Izuku said something strange.

Right before they reached their classmates, Izuku spoke up again.

“Honestly, if the class thinks I’m sleeping with anyone, I’m glad they think it’s you. I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.” 

Katsuki stopped dead in his tracks. He was pretty sure his brain fully shut down for a few seconds and by the time he returned to his body Izuku was already gone. 

What.

Was.

That?

He couldn’t have meant… was he insinuating that he…??? no of course not….right? There was no way…he must have misheard… or misunderstood maybe…

He was gonna need Kirishima for this one. 

——————————-

As soon as the words left Izuku’s mouth he ran as fast as he could to find his friends. He wasn’t really focused on where he was going so he barreled straight into Iida who didn’t budge but scolded him for running indoors. 

“Why are you in such a hurry anyways?” He asked.

“I said something,” Izuku panted, “really risky to Kacchan.” 

The effect of his words was instantaneous. All of his friends' heads turned and they rushed to get closer.

“OhmygoshOhmygosh did you tell him???” Uraraka asked.

“Not exactly. I explained that I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings earlier and then I made a comment that hinted at my feelings for him, well honestly not even hinted it was pretty obvious but you know how he is I had to make it pretty clear for him to get it, and then immediately ran away because I’m a coward.” Izuku rambled.

“You didn’t wait for his reaction?” Tsu asked.

“NO! I was too nervous.”

“So you ran away in the middle of your conversation?” Todoroki piped up.

“Well…I guess kinda..”

“DEKUUU!!” Uraraka shouted.

Izuku covered his face with his hands.

“I panicked okay?!” 

“Well what are you going to do now?” Tsu questioned.

“I don’t know, wait and see if he got what I was saying. If he brings it up, then whatever happens, happens I guess…”

“Well good for you for making a move!!” Iida praised.

“Yeah way to go Deku!!” Uraraka cheered.

Izuku was practically bouncing with nervous energy as he watched Kacchan finally make it to the common room. To his dismay, Kacchan quickly yanked Kirishima up from the couch and dragged him out of the room. Luckily the rest of his friends were quick to race after him, so it seemed they weren’t going to be talking one on one again. Not that Izuku wasn’t okay with that!! Kacchan was free to talk to whoever he wanted to, it just got under his skin a little bit when he was chatting privately with Kirishima… 

Izuku hoped he had done the right thing. He had thought it was the right move since he had noticed Kacchan acting a little differently lately. He had originally chalked it up to them being better friends and Kacchan trying to make up for the past, but today changed things. The cuddling and handholding… that seemed like a little more than platonic affection, especially because it was Kacchan, the guy who’s never affectionate. Then again, it’s Kacchan. He doesn’t really make sense ever, so anything could happen.

He really hoped he hadn’t made a huge mistake.

——————————

Katsuki marched into the common room with purpose. His friends were all huddled around the tv playing Mario Kart, but obviously this was more urgent then their dumb game, so he unplugged the tv to get their attention. There were angry cries at this, but quite frankly, he did not care. Katsuki grabbed Kirishima by the arm and dragged him out of the room.

“What are you doing man? That wasn’t very manly of you to-”

“I need your help. It’s about him.”

His eyes widened immediately and a big grin spread across his face.

“OH!”

“Do my ears deceive me, or did Bakugo just ask for help? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before, is he feeling okay?” Sero teased.

Katsuki shot him a glare.

“Wait, did you say it’s about him? Do you mean like him him? Kaminari asked.

 “OMG Is this tea?!?! SPILL RIGHT NOW!!” Mina shouted.

“SHUT UP!! Fine you can all hear too I guess but we’re not talking about this here.” Katsuki replied reluctantly and led them to his room.

Jirou had unfortunately been nearby and also overheard, so she followed as well. He really did not want another person in on this conversation. After the others filed inside his room he blocked her from entering.

“Not you.” Katsuki said plainly.

“Oh no, I’m totally a part of this now. I’ve already heard enough to know what’s going on.” She grinned.

“Go listen to emo music or something, this is none of your business.” 

“Absolutely not.”

“I’m not letting you in here.”

“Even if you don’t let me in I’ll be able to hear the whole thing from outside of the room anyways.”

Katsuki groaned, she had a point.

“Fine. But if you share anything you hear-”

“You’ll kill me in some gruesome way?”

“Yup.”

“Noted.” 

He reluctantly let Jirou in the room, who happily sat down next to Kaminari.

“So, what happened? I mean besides you guys holding hands, which was soooooo cute I thought I was gonna die!!!” Mina squealed.

“Yeah nice move man!!” Kaminari agreed.

“Also the way you caught him like you were his knight in shining armor was so manly!” Kirishima interjected.

“Seriously, I had to stop Mina from screaming when you did that.” Sero added. 

Katsuki rolled his eyes, but felt a tinge of pride. 

“Guys stop fangirling so he will tell us.” Jirou said.

“Oh, right, SHUT UP EVERYONE!! TEA TIME!!!!!” Mina screamed.

Jirou winced and Katsuki pinched the bridge of his nose, regretting his decision to choose these idiots as friends. He wished he could call the whole thing off and not tell them, because this whole thing was kind of embarrassing, but he really needed help.

He then explained how Izuku had clarified what he had meant earlier and confirmed their suspicions about why he was angry.

“See and if you had just told us what happened, we could’ve helped.” Kaminari grumbled.

Katsuki ignored him.

“So then we’re walking back to the common room in silence, and out of nowhere he just makes this really weird comment and runs off, and it kind of sounded like he was saying he liked me, but I want to be sure.”

“Well don’t just leave us in suspense, SPIT IT OUT!!” Mina shouted. 

“He turns to me and says ‘Honestly, if the class thinks I’m sleeping with anyone, I’m glad they think it’s you. I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.’ Does that mean he likes me, or am I just reading into it?” Katsuki asked.

“OF COURSE IT MEANS HE LIKES YOU!!!” Mina screamed, yet again.

“Yeah man! I always thought he did but that totally confirms it.” Kirishima said.

“It’s so obvious he’s always been head over heels for you. He has given you all the signs but since you are incredibly emotionally dense and missed all of them, he decided to spell it out for you. How considerate of him.” Jirou smirked. 

“You better watch your mouth Ears-”

“Well what are you gonna do now?” Sero interrupted.

“I don’t know.” Katsuki replied honestly.

“You should ask him to be your boyfriend!!” Kaminari said.

“It seemed like he was saying he liked me but I don’t know for sure, I mean you know how he is, he’s super nice to everybody. He could’ve just felt overly guilty for the misunderstanding earlier and tried to make up for it by complimenting me or something. He’s super awkward, so maybe he didn’t realize how gay it sounded.” Katsuki reasoned.

The group collectively groaned.

“Don’t act like that’s unreasonable!! I’ve known him longer than any of you so I know him best!!” Katsuki defended.

“I also know that he has no reason to like me, or even want to be friends,” Katsuki added, quieter, “In fact, all I’ve ever done is give him reasons to hate my guts.”

There was an awkward moment of silence. Jirou frowned. He forgot she didn’t know the full story.

“What, just because you used to be a jerk to him?”

“Well yeah, but I was more than just a jerk. There’s more to it than you know.” 

“But you apologized, right?”

“Duh.”

“And he forgave you?”

“Yeah, because he’s an idiot.”

“And you’re trying to be better?”

“Obviously.”

“Well then the past doesn’t matter anymore. You’ve both moved past it.” 

“But I still don’t know if he likes me for sure.” Katsuki reminded her.

Jirou gave him a look that asked, “ did you really just say that? ” 

“A blind person could see how much he likes you.”

“But how do you know that’s romantic and not just some weird admiration like he has for All Might?!” 

“Because I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

A pause. 

“Sure you're right, he is super nice to everyone, but he’s different with you. He’s always blushing around you and I swear everytime you’re not in the room he’s all ‘where’s Kacchan?’ even if you saw each other five minutes ago. Plus he’s definitely jealous of Kirishima. I saw him make a face when you pulled him out of the room just a minute ago.” 

Katsuki suddenly remembered how weird Izuku had acted when Kirishima had been in his room. He had outright said it made him upset, but he never thought he saw their relationship like that, Kirishima had never been more than a friend. It made sense though he guessed, he was closer with Kirishima than he was with the rest of his friends.

Jirou got impatient with his silent reflection. 

“Oh my gosh just accept it!! He likes you!!! It’s so obvious!!” Jirou yelled in frustration.

“If I have to watch you two pining for each other everyday for any longer I’m gonna lose it. Just ask him out already!!”

Katsuki groaned. She didn’t understand, why didn’t any of them understand? Maybe Izuku did like Katsuki, but Katsuki didn’t deserve him. He never would.

“I can’t.”

She rolled her eyes.

“And what’s your excuse now?”  

“I don’t deserve him.”

A pause.

“He deserves someone who’s a good person. Who’s all good with emotions and has a big heart like him. Someone as kind as him, who will treat him right.”

“But Bakugou, he wants you .” 

“It doesn’t matter what he wants, I’m not good enough for him!! He’ll just have to wait for someone better, like Round Cheeks or somebody.” Katsuki said bitterly.

Jirou sighed.

“Do you love him?”

Love? That felt like a big jump from having a crush. It felt overwhelming and intimidating, but Katsuki knew that what he felt for Izuku was never some small thing. Even back when he hated the guy, his feelings were never something small. They were huge, powerful waves that could overcome any ship that dared to sail in the rocky sea. They were messy and complicated, but strong and true. Izuku was a constant in his life, and Katsuki knew he couldn’t live without him. Izuku wasn’t like any of his friends, he was the one who changed the way Katsuki saw and did everything. The one who flipped his entire world upside down and made him feel more and think more things than he’d ever felt or thought before. 

When he looked into Izuku’s beautiful green eyes, it was like coming home. His adorable smile left Katsuki breathless. He could sit for hours and listen to the boy ramble and that would make him happy. It brought him joy just hearing his voice when he got so excited and seeing his eyes shine like stars. 

Katsuki knew if it came down to it he’d lay down his life for the other boy. He also knew that Izuku would do the same. They had a bond that was different than any friendship he’d ever had, like their fates were intertwined by some mysterious cosmic force pulling them together. 

He had never thought about love that much before, or what it would be like to love someone. Katsuki had never been able to picture himself together with someone in his future. All he ever saw there was himself, as the number one hero. 

Alone. 

Katsuki kinda figured that would be how he would end up. He had never been all that interested in romance or relationships anyways until now, and never considered finding a partner.

On the rare occasion he did think about that kind of stuff, he thought it was unlikely someone would love him. He was too angry, too rude, too difficult. No one would want to deal with him. 

Katsuki has always thought he was like fire. It’s red and angry, so people have often associated his personality with it anyways. But there’s much more to fire than that. Fire is beautiful, complex, and powerful. It is life giving, it provides light, warmth, and protection to those who use it properly. But it is also dangerous. It can destroy everything in its path in an instant. It can keep you warm, but if you get too close you’ll get burned. 

So no one would want to get close, right? 

But Izuku did.

Katsuki had also never imagined himself being able to love someone else. He didn’t know what that would feel like, and what kind of person would be able to break through the walls around his heart. He didn’t think anyone would. 

But Izuku did.

And now when he thought about his future, he couldn’t picture himself without the nerd. 

It had always been him. It could never be anyone else. 

Katsuki didn’t hesitate in his reply.

“Yes.” 

“And you’d do anything to protect him?”

“Yes.”

“And you want to make him happy?”

“Yes.”

“Well then I think you know what you need to do.”

Katsuki stared at her. He wasn’t prepared for Jirou of all people to come in and drop bombs on him like this, but he also never expected to be in love with the same kid he bullied in middle school, so he wasn’t sure what to expect from life anymore. Katsuki knew deep down what she was trying to convey was right. Maybe he didn’t deserve Izuku, but he loved him, and would do anything for him. 

Maybe that would be enough. 

He wanted to make Izuku the happiest guy alive, and if that meant asking him out, he would do it. Even if he wasn’t sure it was the best idea. Even if he didn’t understand why the nerd would even want that. 

Katsuki nodded firmly.

“Then go get your man.” 

Chapter Text

Izuku was chatting with his friends who were doing a decent job at distracting him so he wouldn’t stress out and overthink about what he had said to Kacchan. But it was still ever presently lingering in the back of his head. A voice whispered that he made a huge mistake, he’d read all the signs wrong, and this would be the end of their friendship. The voice grew louder the longer Kacchan was gone. He had taken his whole group of friends with him, were they discussing how disgusted Kacchan was? Were they helping him plan to end their friendship? 

Suddenly he was whacked in the back of the head.

“Ouch! What was that for!?”

“Stop that. You’re overthinking again.” Uraraka scolded.

“You didn’t have to hit me though.” Izuku pouted.

“I was beating the bad thoughts out of your head.” She smirked.

“Seriously though, it’s gonna be fine!! You’re an amazing guy, try to give yourself more credit. He’s totally into you, and if he wasn’t, he’s an idiot so you’re better off without him anyways. You did your part, so what happens next is up to him. Relax.” 

How did he get so lucky to have such good friends? He would never know.

Izuku had finally relaxed a bit more and put the issue to the back of his mind when Kacchan raced into the room. When he realized the other boy was making a beeline for him he froze.

Soon enough his whole friend group noticed and got quiet. They all turned to face Kacchan, who had just reached their group, his friends lagging behind. 

“Izuku.”

His mind immediately jumped to the worst conclusion. Was Kacchan about to reject him in front of all his friends? Or was he about to confess? This was so nerve wracking. 

“We need to talk.”

Izuku felt his heart plummet. That sentence never meant anything good. He was about to be rejected, but at least it wouldn’t be in front of his friends. 

“Uh o-okay.” 

Kacchan turned around and stalked off. Izuku belatedly realized he hadn’t moved to follow Kacchan when his friends had to literally shove him along. He shot his friends one last panicked glance, to which they responded with thumbs ups and other silent encouragement. 

It did nothing to ease his nerves.

Katsuki was beginning to wish he hadn’t been so impulsive. He had never been good with words, or feelings, so it would’ve been smart to prepare beforehand. But Jirou had gotten him all riled up and excited so he just couldn’t wait. Well… technically he could back out now, act like he had something else to say and bring this up later…

But this is Katsuki we’re talking about. 

No way he’s backing out now. The nerd would be able to tell if he was lying, and his friends would never let him hear the end of it. Besides, it would only get more anxiety inducing the longer he put it off. 

But what on earth was he going to say? 

“Where are we going?” 

Katsuki stopped abruptly, making Izuku bump into him. He had been walking on autopilot, too busy with his thoughts to focus on where his feet were taking him. 

He realized he was headed towards the door that led outside. Suddenly he was struck with an idea. It was kind of stupid, and they might even get in trouble, but Izuku was super sentimental so would it be worth it….. 

He decided to go with his gut. 

“You’ll see.”

He swung open the door and gestured for Izuku to go first. He looked very puzzled.

“Why are we-”

“ You’ll see. ”

Izuku gave in and walked out the door. 

“I don’t know what’s going on but we better not get in trouble for this Kacchan….”

“We won’t.”

They might. But if they did, Katsuki would take the blame. If this worked like he thought it would, it would be worth it. Really it didn’t matter where they talked, but it was a nice night for a walk, and he thought their destination would be nicely symbolic. He just thought it might make Izuku smile, and that would make any inconvenience worth it. 

Man, when did he get so soft? 

“So…what did you want to talk about? Can we talk while we’re walking or am I supposed to wait until we get to….wherever we’re going?” Izuku asked nervously.

Katsuki considered this. It would be kind of weird if they waited until they got there to talk, it was a bit of a walk. It didn’t really matter if they actually talked there, he just wanted to go back there again together. 

“We can talk now.”

“Ookay.”

There was a pause. Katsuki didn’t realize how daunting it would be to start this conversation until it was time, and suddenly his mind went blank. Come on, he could do this, he was Katsuki Bakugou right? He’s not afraid of anything, especially not something stupid like this. 

He was struggling to even begin to find the words to start this conversation. There were so many thoughts and unfamiliar emotions filling him up they were threatening to spill over. Feeling this many things at once made him so uncomfortable he wanted to punch something. He really wanted to forget about all these feelings and go back to shoving them down. It was much simpler when he only had to be angry. That’s how everyone expected him to act since that’s how he always had, and that’s what he was used to.

It was comfortable.

But Katsuki was done being comfortable. The only times he ever felt anything good was when he let go of his anger. He hadn’t realized it, but all his life he had been taking the easy way out. He had been denying any other feeling or thought to trade it for anger, going through life kicking and screaming just to avoid the discomfort of other emotions. Not anymore. This was really hard for him, but he knew that nothing worth doing was easy. 

So as much as he would like to take the easy way out of this and start sparring with Izuku to avoid this messy conversation, he was not going to. He would figure this out. He could do this.

Kacchan was quiet for a really long time. So long that it was making Izuku way more scared and uncomfortable. But Izuku stayed quiet, because he seemed to be gathering his thoughts.

Finally he spoke.

“So… I just wanted to talk about….our relationship.”

Ah, the exact subject Izuku had been fearing.

“What about it?” Izuku asked tentatively.

“Well…” Kacchan ran a hand through his hair, looking oddly nervous, “it’s… better. Do you agree?”

“Yes! It’s a lot better! I think we’re doing great.” Izuku replied with a bright smile.

“You say we but it’s not like you were ever the reason our relationship was bad.”

That made Izuku frown. It was technically true, but he wasn’t sure how to go about saying that in a way that wouldn’t be hurtful. Kacchan had expressed his regret for his past actions and he thought they had moved past this, but he was still stuck on it evidently. Izuku, on the other hand, had put it behind him.

“Well, maybe not really, but that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters now is that we are both putting in an effort to have a great friendship and care about each other’s feelings.”

“Tch. Yeah I guess.”

He could feel Kacchan’s resistance, and it tugged at his heart. He understood why Kacchan still felt guilty, but Izuku wished he didn’t. He wished he could make the other boy see that he loved him too much to care about any of that stuff anymore.

“So is there anything else you wanted to talk about or??” 

Kacchan was looking anywhere but Izuku, fidgeting with his hands in a way that was very un Kacchan like. When he eventually made eye contact he looked very out of his depth.

“I just wanted to tell you something.”

“Okay, what is it?” Izuku asked patiently.

“Well… I’m… I need to tell you but I don’t want to.”

Izuku’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. 

“Why not?”

“Like we agreed, what we’ve got going now is really good, and I don't want to… ruin it.”

Izuku was a little thrown, because he had expected Kacchan to just reject him and be angry that Izuku ruined everything. But now he was saying he was nervous to ruin things, which didn’t make any sense because if he had understood what Izuku meant and felt the same way then he wouldn’t be ruining things but if he understood but didn’t like Izuku then that wouldn’t be his fault- 

Izuku decided he needed to stop trying to interpret everything Kacchan meant and just let him say it, for his sake and Kacchan’s.

“I promise, whatever you say won’t ruin anything. It doesn't matter what it is.” Izuku reassured.

“But you don’t even know what I’m gonna say!! What if I was about to say I’m the UA traitor or something?!”

Izuku froze. There was no way, right? Kacchan would never…

“Don’t freak out, that was an exaggeration. I’m just saying you can’t promise things you don’t know if you can keep.”

Izuku breathed a sigh of relief. He knew it hadn’t been true, but it had made him rethink everything for a heart stopping second.

“Well, aside from maybe you being a villain, there’s nothing that would make me not want to be your friend anymore.”

“What if it’s that I don’t want to be friends anymore?” 

Izuku’s insides turned to ice. 

“What?! But you just said-”

“What if I said I wanted to be closer than that?”

It was a good thing that they had apparently reached their destination because Izuku would have stopped walking either way. His head was reeling and his heart was racing. Was Kacchan saying what he thought he was saying???

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” 

Kacchan’s crimson eyes were focused directly on him now, gaze searching, hopeful.

“Yes.” Izuku said, voice barely above a whisper.

Katsuki wasn’t sure which one of them had stepped closer or if both of them had, but the gap between them was getting smaller.

“You wouldn’t be embarrassed?”

“I would be proud.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

There was a long pause, the tension was palpable. They were now so close their noses were almost touching. Izuku could feel Kacchan’s warm breath on his face.

“What do you want?” Izuku asked.

Katsuki took probably way too long to reply as he got lost in Izuku’s wide, curious eyes, sparkling with anticipation and the reflections of the stars above them. 

“Depends on what you want.” 

Izuku followed Kacchan’s lead and danced around the now obvious elephant in the room with grace. 

“Well you’ve got to tell me what you want and I’ll tell you if that’s what I want, but I have a feeling we want the same thing.”

His eyes now moved to Izuku’s lips, so soft and inviting, filling Katsuki with a deep longing to taste them. He could barely hear Izuku over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. This was it, the moment of truth. It was now or never. 

He’d always preferred actions over words after all.

“How about I show you and then you tell me?”

Before Izuku could reply, Katsuki pressed their lips together.

It was like the final barrier between the two of them had finally collapsed and they crashed straight into one another. It was so warm, sweet, and satisfying like all the puzzle pieces falling into place. Izuku’s stomach was swarming with butterflies and his heart soared with exhilaration. Neither of them had realized how much they had wanted this until this moment. Katsuki’s entire body tingled and it felt like fireworks were going off inside his brain. Neurons were firing as rapidly as the beating of his heart but he had no thoughts except that he wanted more, he needed more. The entire world faded away until it was just the two of them, kissing like there would be no tomorrow. It started out tentative and nervous, but had quickly become fiery and passionate, reflecting their relationship perfectly. 

When they reluctantly broke apart to breathe, Katsuki thought wow they should’ve been doing this from the beginning of their new friendship, (or whatever it was now) they had really been missing out. 

For a moment the only sound was them catching their breath, until Izuku broke the silence.

“So, what now?”

Katsuki smiled, genuinely thrilled for the first time in what felt like forever. 

“I’m not sure exactly, but maybe we should start with calling ourselves ‘boyfriends’ if you want.”

Izuku blushed fiercely and looked up at Katsuki in awe.

“Are you asking me out?”

“What does it sound like nerd?” Katsuki ruffled his soft green curls he’d been so desperate to feel. 

“I’d love to be your boyfriend.” Izuku smiled so brightly, Katsuki thought he might go blind.

“Well I guess it’s official then.” Katsuki replied simply, barely hiding his overwhelming joy at the confirmation.

As the both of them absorbed the new developments and began to process their feelings about the whole thing, Izuku finally took in his surroundings and was hit with a sudden familiarity.

“Is this…are we at Ground Beta?” 

Katsuki smirked and shoved him playfully.

“Took you long enough to notice.”

Izuku looked around in awe, remembering the last time they had been here at night together. They had been so different then, but it was really that night that helped them put aside their differences and begin to build their relationship back up again. It was a beautiful full circle moment for this to be the place they got together. And Kacchan had been the one to bring them here which was, to say the very least, extremely surprising.

“ Kacchaaaan…” Izuku crooned, unsurprisingly tearing up a bit. He interlaced their fingers together and leaned into the other boy's side as they began to walk back to the dorms.

Katsuki rolled his eyes but smiled softly.

“Oi, you better not start crying all over me. If you get my shirt all wet and gross with your tears you're dead.” He teased. 

“Stoooop I can’t help it!!!” Izuku whined lightheartedly.

He turned to face Katsuki, eyes glistening and somehow even more beautiful than before, if that was even possible. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Izuku chuckled wetly.

“I’m just so happy. I wanna remember this moment.”

Katsuki felt like icy hot was using his quirk on him, he was so filled with warmth inside. 

For a couple minutes they walked in quiet reflection, feeling elated. Eventually though, Katsuki knew he had to dampen the mood a bit. They needed to take this seriously.

“Are you sure you want this?” He gestured to himself, “me?”

Izuku looked bewildered.

“Of course I do, are you crazy?”

Kacchan’s face morphed into a more stern look, with a hint of sadness in his eyes.

“I’m serious. Do you really think this is a good idea?”

Izukku frowned, it seemed like Kacchan was being self-deprecating again. He wasn’t stupid, he knew they had a rough past. But now Izuku trusted Kacchan more than anyone, and loved him more than anything. Maybe it would be difficult to make a relationship with the two of them work because of their opposing personalities, but it would be worth it. They had a special sort of bond that was just for the two of them, and it was unbreakable. Yeah they would probably argue and hurt each other’s feelings from time to time, but they would push through. They both cared about each other so deeply, he had no doubt in his mind they would be able to fight for their relationship. Sure, neither of them knew anything about dating or love and whatnot, but they would figure it out together. 

“Yes, I really do.”

Izuku sounded so confident in Katsuki, it made him nervous. What if Katsuki failed? What if he was a terrible boyfriend, and ended up hurting him again? What if he made a mistake that damaged their relationship so badly they couldn’t even be friends after this? 

Before he had a chance to voice his concerns and self doubt, Izuku pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Kacchan.”

Izuku had stopped and gently grabbed Katsuki’s cheek so they were looking at each other again.

“I love you. Nothing will ever change that. I don’t care about what happened in the past, or who you used to be. It doesn’t matter anymore, and you’re a better person now. I trust you, and I know we are gonna be okay.”

How could Izuku trust him after everything? How could he be so sure they would work?

Wait. Did Izuku just say he- loved? Katsuki? 

Izuku seemed to realize his slip and his eyes widened, hand falling to his side. Before the nerd could go into nervous, stuttering rant about how he “didn’t mean to rush things” or “didn’t want to freak him out” or something stupid like that, Katsuki spoke.

“I love you too, nerd. And I’m gonna work so that I deserve all this trust you’re putting in me. I’m gonna be the best boyfriend you could ever ask for, so you better get ready.” 

Izuku positively beamed. 

“I am so ready.” He giggled.

“But seriously Izuku, I want to be someone you deserve. You know that I’m not very good at… people… and relationships and stuff. And I don’t know anything about how to be a good boyfriend, but I’m gonna learn. But I need you to tell me if I’m doing anything wrong, I don’t ever want to hurt you again.”

“Kacchan-”

“Promise you’ll tell me?”

Izuku sighed, a soft smile on his lips.

“Promise.”

And with that they walked back to the doors, hand in hand.

Chapter Text

Aizawa was just finishing up grading some papers in the teachers lounge when there was an alert that two of his students were at Ground Beta after curfew. Well, wasn’t this familiar.

All the other teachers turned their heads as soon as they heard it.

“Ooh better go get your kids Shouta! Isn’t that where Midoriya and Bakugou fought? What are the odds it’s them again?” Present Mic asked with a little too much volume and enthusiasm for Aizawa’s liking. 

Aizawa knew it would be his two problem children before he even went to find the camera feed, but he pulled it up anyway. All Might, who was standing nearby, sighed.

“I really thought they’d been getting along better lately. I’ll go get them again.” He said dejectedly.

“No,” Aizawa raised a hand to stop him, “I don’t think that will be necessary.”

Everyone who had been listening while completing their work stopped to view the conversation.

“What? Do you want to do it yourself this time? It’s really not a problem, I-”

“No. I’m monitoring the situation from here, but I don’t think they are going to fight this time.” 

All Might and Present Mic exchanged confused glances.

“Why else would they be at the exact same ground they fought at before around the same time?” Mic questioned.

“I have a hunch.” Aizawa answered shortly.

“Wha-” All Might started.

“You’ll see. Watch.” 

That made everyone in the room much more interested, so soon all the teachers working late were crowded around his computer. 

His suspicions were quickly confirmed. Apparently no one else had expected this (idiots), because he heard several gasps of surprise. 

“Are they…kissing??!?!?” Present Mic shouted. 

“Wait, are you sure that’s them?” Snipe asked.

“Oh my. I knew they were better friends now but I didn’t realize…” All Might mumbled. 

“Bakugou and Midoriya?! No way!!” Vlad King exclaimed.

“This is not at all what I expected to see when I walked over here.” Cementoss remarked. 

“HAHA I CALLED IT!! HIZASHI YOU OWE ME 3000 YEN!!” Midnight screamed.

At least one of his coworkers wasn’t blind. 

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING WHEN WE MADE THAT BET!!”

Aizawa rolled his eyes.

“Told you they weren’t gonna fight.”  He said and closed the feed.

“Wait, so you’re not going to punish them for being out after curfew?” Present Mic asked.

“Not this time, no. I think Bakugou probably brought Midoriya out there for a good reason, and they’re already headed back inside. They’ve come a long way, and have been improving much faster since they started working together.”

“So what you’re saying is, they broke the rules but it was for love and you think it’s cute so you’re gonna let them off the hook. Awww Shouta you’ve gotten so soft for them~” 

“No, that is not what I said and I have not-”

“Awww since you’re like their dad it’s like you are giving them each your blessing!! So sweet!!” Midnight cood. 

“No NO that is not what’s happening I’m not their-”

“Lie all you want, it’s too late. We’ve seen your true colors~” Present Mic teased.

“I’ve changed my mind, I’m giving them both detention for a month.”

“NOOOO!! DON’T PUNISH THEM FOR OUR ACTIONS WE’RE SORRY!!!!” They screamed in unison.

Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose. Why him? He couldn’t escape being surrounded by idiots even when he wasn’t teaching. 

He was happy for those two though. It seemed they had finally sorted their crap out and gotten over themselves. Good for them.

And no, he wasn’t worried about them distracting each other or anyone else in class because of their new relationship. Honestly they had been more distracting when they were at each other’s throats, so this should be much better if things continued to trend in the same direction they had been lately. 

But then again, it’s Bakugou and Midoriya, and predictable is the last word you could use to describe them. 

——————————————

The two of them had been so focused on each other they almost forgot that their friends were all waiting for them back in the common room. Right before they entered the doors this thought entered Katsuki’s mind. He paused with his hand on the handle.

“Are you ready to face the idiot parade? We don’t have to tell them yet if you don’t want to. We could even sneak through the balcony into my room if you want and avoid them entirely.” Katsuki offered.

“No, it’s fine, I can handle them.” Izuku assured. 

“You sure? They’re probably going to crowd us and start screaming questions, you know how they are.” 

Izuku smiled, a warm feeling blooming in his chest at Kacchan’s concern. He knew how much he liked his personal space and got stressed when a bunch of people talked to him all at once. He was sure that he wouldn’t freak out this time though, with Kacchan’s hand in his.

“I’ll be okay.”

“If you say so. But tell me if you want to leave and we’ll just go to my room early.”

Izuku nodded and Katsuki opened the door.

Just as anticipated, everyone was waiting for them. They all stared silently for a few seconds until Mina spoke up.

“So?”

Katsuki rolled his eyes.

“We’re dating now!” Izuku grinned.

The room erupted in cheering, squealing, and lots of questions. Izuku was nearly knocked out by Uraraka when she ran and hugged him. Katsuki was abruptly slapped on the back by Sero and had to hear a series of “I told you sos” from his whole squad. Then there was Kirishima crying because he was “So proud of his bestie and how manly he is.'” So basically everyone was being incredibly cringey and embarrassing but extremely supportive. 

He made eye contact with Jirou from across the room and signaled to Izuku that he would be right back as he chatted excitedly with his friends.

“Thanks.” Katsuki said simply once he reached her.

She smirked with satisfaction.

“No problem.” 

——————————————

After a while of hanging out in the common room with their friends and eating cake (courtesy of Sato, at Mina’s insistence that this was cause for celebration) Katsuki and Izuku were exhausted. It had been a very long, emotionally and physically taxing day for both of them, but Izuku the most with the whole new quirk thing obviously. Katsuki wanted nothing more than to fall asleep with Izuku in his arms right as soon as humanly possible. He had been waiting until Izuku was ready though, because he didn’t want to pull him away from his friend group while he was still enjoying himself. 

Katsuki’s friend group was playing Mario Kart once again, leaving him sitting next to Jirou, who he was surprisingly taken a liking to recently. He discovered he had more in common than he had realized when they had been talking briefly on the couch. She had also helped him get out of his head earlier, leading to him gaining a boyfriend, so he obviously appreciated that. He also liked that she matched his energy well, and was much less loud and obnoxious than his other friends. She was on her phone, freeing Katsuki up to watch Izuku on the other side of the room.

He loved watching the nerd chat with his friends, seeing the way he spoke animatedly. He loved seeing that sparkle in his eye when he got passionate about something, and the bright grin on his face. But his favorite thing was seeing him laugh. The way his face scrunched up and he had to close his eyes and clutch his middle from giggling made Katsuki’s stomach swarm with butterflies.

Ew. That was so gross, how did Izuku turn him into a sap so quickly?

Anyways, Katsuki knew that no matter how exhausted the nerd was he would stay as long as his friends were still having a good time since he was such a stupid people pleaser. This was the actual reason Katsuki had been keeping an eye on him. When Izuku’s eyes got droopy and he looked like he was gonna fall asleep at any second, Katsuki decided it was time to step in. 

“Hey. Nerd.” He said softly, nudging the boy's shoulder.

“Hm?” Izuku replied sleepily.

“Time for bed. Come on.” Katsuki said and pulled Izuku to his feet.

“Ok if you insist grandpa.” Izuku smirked.

He rolled his eyes, Izuku was trying to pretend Katsuki was the only tired one when he had eyebags to rival Aizawa’s. Who did he think he was fooling? 

They bid everyone goodnight and headed up to Katsuki’s room. Izuku slowly trudged to the elevator, finally letting his exhaustion show.

“Aren’t you glad I forced you to go back to sleep last night? If I hadn’t you would have definitely passed out hours ago.”

“Ugh you were right I feel like I’m gonna fall asleep walking.” Izuku complained.

“Need me to carry you?” Katsuki teased.

Izuku gasped and halted in place.

“That sounds amazing, yes please.”

“What?! I was clearly kidding.”

Izuku gave him a smug little grin.

“What, are you not strong enough? Don’t think you could handle carrying all this muscle? It’s fine I understand, carrying you the other day was so easy for me but I’ve gotta be strong since I’m gonna be number one-”

Before he finished Katsuki had scooped him off the ground bridal style and begun sprinting to the elevator. Izuku yelped in surprise.

“What the heck are you doing?!” He squeaked as Katsuki pushed the button to call the elevator. 

“What do you think, idiot? Carrying you like the big baby you are.” Katsuki smirked.

“Aww you’re really a softie on the inside you know? If only our friends could see you now-”

“I AM NOT A SOFTIE!!”

“Then why are you carrying me bridal style?”

“Because you asked and I’m a good boyfriend-”

“You knew I was teasing you.”

“Maybe I suspected you were, but I wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to prove I’m better than you.”

“Uh huh, sure, that’s what this is about.”

“OBVIOUSLY IT IS!”

“Three seconds ago you had a different reason.”

“Well-I-”

“It’s too late, you’re secrets out,” Izuku cupped his hands over his mouth, “DID EVERYONE HEAR THAT? KACCHAN IS A HUGE SOFTIE!! HE’S SO SWEET IT HURTS-”

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH OR I’LL DROP YOU NERD!!”

They happened to have arrived at his room right at that moment, so Katsuki unceremoniously dumped Izuku on his bed as promised. Izuku was in the middle of a laughing fit and his fall onto the bed only made him laugh harder. Katsuki smiled down at his adorable little boyfriend giggling so hard he worried he might pee himself. At that moment he felt sure of it.

They were gonna be alright.