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“I miss you, ‘Luc,” Kaeya had spoken one night, when he was particularly wasted. The old nickname he once used for his brother slipped out with ease. He was guided only by emotions, the logic and consequences of his actions washed away by the hard liquor he had downed.
Diluc turned to him. There were only a few people in the bar now, maybe two or three customers, mostly shitfaced. The man washed a glass, a twinkle in his crimson eyes as he looked at Kaeya with a somber expression. He didn’t respond.
“I miss havin’ someone to call family, y’know?” Kaeya slurred, waving his drink around as if gesticulating. “I see Jean ‘n Barbara ‘n it jus’ reminds me of when we were young and I use to dote on you. I looked up to you so much. And I still do. But you don’t know that.”
The harsh features on the man’s face, once set in stone, softened, little by little. He sighed, looking at the sad excuse of the Cavalry Captain reduced to a blabbering, drunken mess. But just because he was drunk didn’t mean that his words didn’t strike a place in Diluc’s heart, stabbing and implanting deep in his chest cavity.
Kaeya’s hair was out of the ponytail he kept it in, flowing freely around his shoulders and on the fine oak countertop of the bar. He held his drink in calloused, scarred hands. The blue expanse and diamond pupil were cast downward. It seemed as if Kaeya didn’t want to look him in the eyes. He could understand that.
“I just…I dunno,” he muttered. His gaze grew distant, hazy. “I don’ like coming in here ‘n treating you as if you’re nothing more than a stranger rather than my brother. You hate me ‘n thats all justifiable but… I jus’ want someone to care about me the way you used to.”
Kaeya’s words hit deeper than they should have. Of course, Diluc never hated his brother. He had been blinded by grief and rage so deeply back then, desperate for someone to blame rather than himself or the archons above. And Kaeya was there, open, vulnerable. Diluc took Kaeya and molded him into this beast he never was or could never become to overcome his own anguish.
And now, here he was here now—drunk off his own ass, spilling his guts, exposing himself for Diluc to see, as if it were an act, a performance. Kaeya had always liked a flare for the dramatic, but this was no act, this was real and it was raw.
Diluc was unaware of Kaeya’s desperation to rekindle their bond. Sure, the man had always poked fun at Diluc, but he didn’t realize Kaeya was just trying to relive what they had as kids. The pyro user wouldn’t admit it to anyone else but Kaeya, but he too wanted to grow their bond as it once was.
It was a lonely existence relying on you and only you, isolating yourself from everyone around you and sneering at those who try to get close.
And now that chance was bestowed, something that once seemed unattainable. Kaeya was suffering and he was hurting; it was far too clear to Diluc, who had picked up his mannerisms and learned to read the lengthy novel that was Kaeya.
The glass Diluc held was placed down. It was spotless, crystalline glare reflecting. He was never good at words, never good at comfort. Diluc was a man of few words, and even then, those words were not always right. He wasn’t sure how many times he’d consoled a sobbing Kaeya as a child, rubbing his fingers through his brother’s hair and telling him everything would be just fine. Diluc had promised Kaeya that he’d always be there for him, no matter what.
That had been a lie, a broken promise, shattered by the years. Kaeya had promised the same thing years later, and then let it be reduced to nothing but a sheer whisper in the wind. But they could try again, both of them.
“I still care about you, Kaeya,” he said, truthfully. Diluc was not one to express such emotions and this unfamiliarity showed.
Kaeya’s eyes crinkled at the edges. “Ya sure have a funny way of showing it, hmm?”
Oh. Diluc frowned, shoulders tensing. He could understand Kaeya’s distrust.
“I’m sorry,” Diluc tried again. His voice was true and it was strong. Red velvet met a cool, frigid ocean as they locked eyes. “I do care about you, Kae. I do.”
Kaeya’s lips quirked in a sad smile. He downed the rest of his drink, slamming the glass on the counter.
Diluc continued, unsure if what he was saying was even right. Words just spilled from his lips, incomprehensible. “We have always been family and always will be. I’m sorry I’ve done such a shit job at showing that.”
“As much your fault as is mine,” Kaeya sighed. He dragged a hand down his face, exasperated. “I jus’ want to us to try again; this relationship, if you could even call it that. Might be too much to ask, I dunno.”
Kaeya looked at Diluc with bleary eyes. They were red and unfocused. He seemed to snap from the haze of what he was saying. “God, I’m so fuckin’ drunk—‘Luc, ‘m sorry, I’m probably spouting nonsense.”
“We could try.”
“Huh?”
Diluc crossed his arms, not as an act of intimidation or unamusement, but in thought. “To be better. Closer, like before.”
“Oh…”
“We’re both so dysfunctional. I’m emotionally constipated, and you hide away everything, but we could try to be better. Like we were as kids.”
Kaeya’s glee was loud. His lips spread, his eye lit up, and he just looked…well, Diluc had never seen him like that, or at least, he hadn’t seen that expression in years. That was pure happiness, not restrained by a mask.
“Did you remember what you said when we were 11 at the lake by our house?”
Diluc pondered for a moment, and then shook his head.
“You said you’d always protect me and stay together, even as we grew old.”
Red creeped onto Diluc’s cheeks. “Did I?”
“Yup,” Kaeya let out a wheezy laugh. Genuine, nice.
“Well, guess I’ll have to follow through with that now, huh?”
“I guess so.”
Tears edged at Kaeya’s waterline, shimmering just as the diamond in his pupil did. Diluc felt light. Like a weight off his shoulders had finally been released and he could breathe. No longer was Kaeya a mere stranger to him, but a brother once more. As it always should’ve been.