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there is no problem a burrito can't solve

Summary:

“Hey, kid,” Reigen said, smiling in a way that seemed to disarm most kids and women: the Reigen Arataka’s Completely Effective Customer Service Smile, patent-pending. However, all he received in return was a slow blink. “You lost? Where are your parents?”

The kid’s grip on his jacket tightened as he answered, “I don’t know.” His voice was a soft, quivering thing. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

---

Wherein Reigen is 18 and somehow finds himself taking care of four kids for a day

Notes:

this is so dumb and self-indulgent askhfaf,, i also have no explanation for the title . but the chapter titles are beef burrito ingredients AKJSFGAKF

Chapter 1: ground beef

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It was raining when Reigen left work that day. It was a downpour that didn’t match his mood after finally completing his two-week notice after working as a cashier. Gone were the days of him smiling a little too widely and bowing too deeply at people he did not care for. It wouldn’t have affected his mood very much if he hadn't forgotten his umbrella at home. So there he was hood up against the wind and blond hair dark with sweat and rainwater as his feet pounded against the pavement. 

He knew he should have taken up babysitting again instead of going to work at a convenience store a good train ride away from his house. However, the cashier job paid much more in comparison, and if there was one thing he was good at, it was talking. Of course, he did less talking and did more standing for hours on end than any one person should have to do. 

Reigen slipped under shade once the rain got too strong to walk under, pulling his hood down with a heavy sigh. He was absolutely soaked. Rivulets of water clung to his hair in clumps, and the humidity made him feel more uncomfortable than he ought to be. He shrugged his jacket off and pushed his hair back, hoping to alleviate some of the discomforts— it did.

Reigen sighed as he reassessed his choices. He had two options right now: risk it and walk through the rain on a mad sprint, or just wait it out for the time being. He licked his lips, narrowing his eyes at the deluge that beat onto the ground in a thunderous roar. That sounded like it would hurt, and he was definitely not keen in the slightest to start walking through it right this instant. 

He spun on his heel, taking stock of his shelter and fully intending to squat on the ground for the next fifteen minutes fiddling on his phone and playing Snake when he stopped. Because right there, leaning on the wall next to him, was a child. A child swaddled in a bright yellow jacket with the hood pulled up over dark hair, and small hands balled tightly at the front. 

Reigen was great at reading people, especially kids, thanks to his time babysitting for spending money when he was younger. It was obvious: the kid was scared. He pursed his lips, looking around to see if anyone else noticed. Everyone was rushing home, hands clutched tight around dark umbrellas, or were absorbed in their own worlds, not even bothering to look up. It was a flurry of movement and not an ounce of awareness. 

Clearly, he was the first to notice, and his expression tightened. This wasn’t his problem, he reminded himself, taking deliberately harsh steps on the cement floor as he walked towards the wall to lean against it. He didn’t know the kid, and it definitely wasn’t his responsibility. He could just be waiting for his parents to come back, and he shouldn’t worry about it at all.

The kid glanced at him, eyes large and wide, and his mouth opened slightly. His face was still round with baby fat, flushed and streaked with dry tears. It quickly dawned on Reigen that this kid could be four. Who left a four-year-old alone, unattended? He grits his teeth, turning away for a moment. He didn’t have to. He could just go and leave this to someone more capable, like the police or maybe an adult. A sinister voice in his head whispered that he was technically an adult now, and he smothered it.

He peeked back to find the kid looking away from him, hunched over and just so small. He breathed in sharply through the nose, already knowing his decision even before he walked over to the boy in three fluid strides. He crouched down, and the kid visibly startled, turning around quickly, and their eyes met. 

“Hey, kid,” Reigen said, smiling in a way that seemed to disarm most kids and women: the Reigen Arataka’s Completely Effective Customer Service Smile, patent-pending. However, all he received in return was a slow blink. “You lost? Where are your parents?”

The kid's grip on his jacket tightened as he answered, “I don’t know.” His voice was a soft, quivering thing. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” He repeated these words like a mantra he memorized a long time ago.

Reigen hummed in agreement, but he needed to know some very vital information to help him out. “Right, right, right,” he said quickly, hands flying around as his mind scrambled. “That’s some smart thinking! But… I need to know who your parents are to help you, you see?” 

The kid glanced away, uncertain. 

He snapped his fingers, his mind finally clicking with a solution. Reigen smile widened as he put his natural charisma on full display, “How about I introduce myself? That way, I won’t be a stranger anymore. You can’t call me a stranger if you have a name attached to my face, right?”

Reigen grinned when he eventually received a nod in response. It was slow and clearly still a little hesitant, but he can work with that. He stretched his hand out, palm open for him to take.

“In that case, you can call me Arataka.”

“Ara– Ar–” the kid frowned, clearly frustrated. He couldn’t help huffing a soft laugh. 

“Yeah, my name is a bit of a mouthful… You can just call me, Taka. If that helps.”

“Taka,” he repeated, sounding it out before beaming at him. “Taka-nii!”

Okay. That was cute. Reigen couldn’t help the bubble of soft feelings that made his smile just a touch more genuine. 

“That works! And what would your name be?” 

The kid looked down at his hand, still outstretched. For a moment, Reigen feared that he would have to explain what handshakes were and their societal significance. However, just as he opened his mouth to explain, the kid's smaller hand clasped against his own in a tentative handshake. 

“Shigeo. My name is Shigeo,” he said softly, a small smile stretching his chubby, tear-stained face. “Nice to meet you, Taka-nii.” 

“Nice to meet you too, Shigeo,” Reigen said before dropping his hand and standing up to his full height. He grimaced at the burn on his thighs as he began to pace around their tiny dry space for a couple of moments. “Anyway, back to business! You’re lost, right?” 

Shigeo nodded, shoulders finally slumping as he relaxed. That’s good. Can’t have people thinking he was kidnapping random children off the street. He swiftly tied his jacket around his shoulders as he thought. 

“Well, do you remember your address?” At the blank stare Reigen received, he quickly amended. “Where you live, I mean. Like your house.”

Shigeo shook his head. 

Shit. Okay. This is fine, Arataka. There are other ways to locate the families of children. He breathed, “How about your parents' names? Do you know your parents’ names?”

“Mom and dad,” he answered simply. 

Ah. Reigen pursed his lips before clapping his hands in realization. “How about last names? What’s your last name, Shigeo?”

He opened his mouth for a moment before closing it with an audible clack. That’s not good. He didn’t even have to hear the ‘I don’t know' or the ‘I forgot’ before he was back to pacing and gesticulating wildly. He was just glad that Shigeo couldn't hear the curses he was muttering under his breath, thanks to how loud the rain was. 

“Okay, then,” he said, stopping right in front of him, hand on his hip. “How about you tell me how exactly you got lost in the first place?”

Shigeo turned his face away, and Reigen had no choice but to wait for him to continue. If there was one thing he knew about shy kids like Shigeo, it was that he shouldn’t expect the starry-eyed fast talk of hyper kids that smiled too wide and jumped around just as fast as the whack-a-mole arcade game. It was only his finely honed game reflexes that helped him wrangle tornadoes like those into submission. 

This required a more delicate touch. It needed just a modicum of patience and gentleness to coax him out of his shell but also enough unease to get him to start talking. Though he figured that he just needed a moment to gather his thoughts, and so he gave it to him.

When Shigeo finally turned back to him with a story on his lips, he couldn’t help sighing. “I was with my family,” he began, choosing his words slowly. “There were too many people, and… we couldn’t find mom and dad anymore.”

“We?” 

He nodded. “Me and my…” his eyes widened, and he continued as if just now remembering. “Brother. My younger brother.” 

Ah, there was another one. Reigen bit into the meat of his inner cheek, already thinking. Shigeo’s brother was undoubtedly lost somewhere, and they probably both got separated in their panic to get back to their parents. It’s a shitty situation to be in, and to think there was someone even younger than four just wandering around the streets unsupervised… The thought made him distinctly uncomfortable. 

Regardless, this was not his problem. He would like to highlight that in bright, neon yellow and underline it three times with a marker. He just graduated high school. This was something the police should handle! 

Reigen placed his hand on Shigeo’s shoulder emphatically, genuine concern etched in his features. “Look,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “Why don’t I take you to the police station, huh? You can tell them all about what happened, and they’ll help you find both your parents and your brother.”

Reigen turned away, watching as the rain finally calmed down. Relief flooded him, and the sky was starting to peek out in all its bright, gray, post-rain glory. He almost missed the way Shigeo moved, faster than any toddler probably should, to pull at his pants leg in a fist. He faced him, and he was met with the determined set of his mouth and bright, glassy eyes.

“I have to find him,” Shigeo said, voice firm with childish petulance. 

Reigen worried his bottom lip, “I told you, the police will help you there—”

Tears welled at the corner of Shigeo’s eyes, and his mouth immediately tightened as he bit back a curse. 

Oh no. 

The tightly woven resolve he blanketed himself in this entire conversation unspooled into threads of panic that threatened to choke him. Reigen Arataka was many, many things: charming liar, social outcast, and weak-willed to little kids with no one else to turn to. Without his consent, he was already waving his hands around wildly in a very desperate attempt to stop the tears. 

“Woah, woah, woah!” he said, voice strained and pitchy. “Hey, no tears! It’s fine; we’ll find him. You can count on it! After all— I am the great Taka-nii, and if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s helping little kids like you!”

Reigen was embellishing. And he was digging a very deep hole. If he were to approximate the depth, it would be six feet, and he was walking right into it. Arataka, you’re an idiot. This is where your big mouth is getting you. 

Regardless of his own thoughts and misgivings, the spectacle made Shigeo calm down, eyes glimmering with newfound hope.

“Really?”

Reigen let his hands drop to his sides, hearing the soft voice tinged with hopefulness. He, for a moment, couldn’t bring himself to regret the few words that came out of his mouth next. “Yes, really,” he breathed out, and the teary smile he was given made him smile back. “I’ll help you find your brother—”

The delighted gasp made him sweat, but he pretended not to notice the sudden weight of responsibility on his shoulders and just used it to fuel his bravado.

“—And then we’ll go to the police to find your parents. Sounds good?” Shigeo nodded, and he sighed. He opened his phone to check the time— half-past four in the afternoon— and the last train left at midnight. He has time. 

Thankfully, it seemed the rain stopped while he was talking, and when he put his arm out under the sky, the only thing he felt was stray droplets caught in the leaves of trees and over the roof. It was time to go, he supposes. He stepped out onto the pavement, confident and assured that he could do this. He had everything perfectly handled—

—And he slipped on the muddy sidewalk. 

Reigen yelped, hands flying in front of him so he could catch himself on his palms. The impact won’t be that hard, but the abrasions at his hands and the strain on his wrist are not something he wanted today. However, his stomach lurched, and he stopped mere inches away from the ground. 

What. 

What.

“Taka-nii, are you okay?” Shigeo piped up, hand raised with his hair floating just above his forehead. He blinked then did it again. He’s floating several inches above the ground, and there seems to be only one reason for it. “Taka-nii?”

He shook his head as his feet finally found the ground. God, he could kiss it if he didn’t have more pressing matters at hand. “You… You’re psychic. You have powers.” 

He answered with a simple nod as he lowered his hand. “Is that… okay?” Shigeo asked, tentative. 

Reigen thought back for a moment to all those hours in his formative years, sitting in front of his TV box set watching reruns of Mogami Keiji’s show. He was an esper, just like Shigeo, and was considered the Greatest of the 20th Century. He thought back to that essay he crammed a couple months back, finished in an hour but embarrassingly sincere, of how he wanted to make a difference in the world. 

Oh, Reigen was selfish, and he was an opportunist. Two qualities that no good person should have at once, but he does. He supposes that was very telling of the kind of person he was. He smiled, more assured in his decision than he ever was as he placed his hands firmly on Shigeo’s shoulders. 

He was beyond ecstatic, and it showed in the sharpness of his smile and the glint in his eyes. “It’s more than okay, Shigeo,” he said, and the kid visibly relaxed as he nodded. “Now, let’s go find your brother, yeah?” 

Reigen received a dazzled look in response, and he felt his chest tighten.

Notes:

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