Work Text:
That night, the usually dull navy sky is enveloped by the constant brightness of various shades of red and green. Blinking stars that most days decorate the simplicity of the ether are now hardly seen. Only a slight peek of glowing dots behind a vivid hue of crimson and neon, almost transparent. Like sand—scattered—but on the other side of the expanse.
Far away in the depth of dingy forest, down on the leg of high mountains, there appears to be an inhumanly massive figure. Big in both height and width; a giant, though not exactly the textbook definition. The surroundings are dim–if not dark, overshadowed by unwell-kept brick walls that reach past lucid clouds and ever-growing lush trees in rich green forest—shadows with indefinite shape due to it being heterogeneous.
Fairly thin slice of gold metal crosses in front of a ceramic ball of a face. Rock hard material that hides the face of the unknown. It cases the god’s head like a loose embrace that bends the law of gravity. Those curvy lines that results an X is the only luminous source of a faded glow. An odd one out in the middle of pitch blackness.
Through the constant gaps of waving leaves, the god stares at the series of festive lights that paint the sky a colourful gradient—those that manage to escape from behind the wall, that is—then retreats his sight back to ground-level. Eyes stuck on the roughly built wall decorated by a collection of supposedly art made by reckless mortals.
Oh, that day. The very same day he discovered the existence of those young souls with a matching youth. Mere mortals that live as if they weren’t. As if less than a hundred years is a long period of eternity. All in the sense of impetuous and relentless. Traits the god knew were ridiculous, something he could’ve laughed at easily. But something akin to awe stroke, and admiration was the only thing that came about.
He was intrigued, to say the least. And it isn’t something a god would normally pay even a sliver of attention to. But this—them—they got God himself to linger off of their tails.
He remembers those moments that play in his mind as though it was a recorded memory. The clearest part of a clip from an amateur tape. Tiny glimpses of coral, blue, and mint that looked like blurry orbs from far distance. And when looked closely, there were three mortals with wide grins present on their faces. Ones that the deity would like to wipe off because what the hell are they so happy for? What the heck are they so cheerful for? In this slowly, grievously dying world—full of hate and war and masked faces—why are they smiling?
Maybe it’s envy. The ugly stinging sensation of green-lit jealousy. A rapid pang in your head, chest, neck, until it pulses evenly through all your body. Along the expanse of tingling skin before it simultaneously seeps inside vulnerable flesh. It repeats and repeats until it creates that awful ache in your bones. Sickening motion slithers around pumping veins until it reaches your guts and pushes the urge to vomit, to break, to form an uproar of definite anger within yourself. Then the pain travels north, bringing red hot blood onto your face. And so, it’s about time for wet bashful tears to pool in quivering eyelids.
Maybe it’s longing. The dreadful wait for a feeling that existed centuries ago, and died centuries ago. Witnessed by stars that are probably as dead by now. He misses that contentment gained from simply living life with someone you love. Someone you adore and you swear to protect—always—until you no longer can. It’s stupid and it’s human. And that’s exactly why he loathes it from the very core of his being. It’s useless, pointless to long for something that isn’t there anymore. Even for a god, some things are out of reach.
The god sighed as mental images of his past friend—lover—started to fill up his mind at an agonizingly slow pace. The squint of his eyes was barely there, but it was. He’s reminded of the prominent freckle across pale cheekbones. The thick tuft of chocolate locks that would beautifully flow wherever the wind goes. The soft pink of slick lips that makes the prettiest smile in existence.
HD…
Or maybe it’s greed. A strong desire to get back what he lost. Because he would be lying if he said the one in blue didn’t look like HD. George, he recalls.
George looks scarily similar to HD. The way he carries himself: so effortlessly yet so divine. The way when he smiles even just a little, it would create a crease at the corner of his eyes and make his eye bags obvious—a significant feature that is arguably cute. He has the same brown fringe HD would always sport. Styled in the same way; messy but in the way where it’s inviting for the other to want to put his fingers through soft strands.
And he hates that he wanted George purely because of that reason. He could scream and throw a giant fireball or move mountains. He could do a lot of things yet his heart is locked for one mere mortal. One that wasn’t even aware of the deity’s existence yet when XD started to fall. In an unexpected twist, he felt regret, he felt fear. And at that point, he saw no difference between him and George. At that moment, he’s just as mortal as George is.
In a desperate defense, he’d say it occurred out of love, of course, but one that is not for said individual. Which is cruel itself. Sharp nails scraping against blackboard kind of cruel. XD cringes at his own thought. He’s pathetic, utterly so. Chasing after a being that is less than what he is, pitifully wrapped around slender fingers.
The god watched over the three for a little while. He studies them, solely because he’s got nothing better to do. He learned their names, their thoughts, and their stories. One to two things piled up and followed by the third, fourth, until the stack was sky-limit.
In short, XD knows quite a lot about the trio. Not by checking off all their sins and wrong doings from the inevitability of long lists, no. It’s boring and “cheating”—a rather not very fitting word, but in use by the majority of gods and goddesses in spiteful banter every now and then. To conclude, it’s more personality wise instead of history wise. And it’s not illegal by any means, to act spy-like towards mortals. That’s what gods are for anyway. No point in spilling secrets and instead sealing them bottled in the core of Hestia.
Reasonably, XD quickly got bored of that too. Where’s the fun in collecting data as an outsider?
With that and courage up his sleeves, XD approaches the one he’s enamoured by. The one that got his heart to race a million miles at this rate. You guessed it; George. Finding George was easy. Well, easy is an understatement. The brunet’s shirt colour sticks out among the rest of Manberg. Eye-catching sky blue in the middle of an orange pumpkin patch, of tall green grass that swept dust to where his knees are, of a walnut empire of wood-based structures. Blue against every other colour in nature. With the ocean located justly far, there was barely a challenge.
Trying to find George was a piece of cake, finding him alone was the cherry on top.
The boy was sitting on the tail-end of a cliff. The shape of it looked like it contradicts Newton’s law of motion. But nothing made sense nowadays, anyways, so the only thing worth being paid a mind for is the pretty brunet sitting atop the brick-hard stone surface, clothed legs dangling from the adequately rough edge. Sun rays illuminated his frail figure in the middle of summer on a lonely grass field. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought it’s the Sahara Desert from the plenty of bedtime tales.
XD quietly clears his throat, not in the way to gain attention but to prepare to socialize with a mere mortal. And not just that but a mortal that he’d call “HD” by accident if not careful. Ultimately being the one, too, that swooped romantic attraction directly from his inner side in a heartbeat. Gods, he hasn’t done this for decades.
“George, correct?” the god began, and there goes all the circumstantial nervous build-up. It’s did and done and no turning back. He really chose this path, huh? Crossing history with a mortal yet again. “You’re too impulsive. You fell in love with the moment, brother. And do you know how dangerous that is?” Drista’s voice rang in his head. Indigo strings hover in between plain concern.
It’s been over a decade since he last saw the epitome of a sister Drista was—is. Therefore, he keeps close to heart every single moment they shared, every drop of words she stated. Even her warning is one of the only things keeping him in tact.
However, that day, that time, that second, it was too late to think twice. “Yes?” A small voice talked back. Like an object thrown onto a concrete wall and reflected back to the incident point. Almost automatic.
Now the object hit XD, delaying the god’s thought process. But before he even had the chance, a high-pitched deafening shriek broke through his eardrums. “Who– What are you?” the boy stuttered, clammy hands clasping the corners of dust-covered rock. His body was now already facing the deity, carefully backing away with all the strength he could muster.
“I’m XD.”
Pause.
“Don’t be afraid.”
After that, all was a blur. A long film of discreetly built precious friendship that rolls in a quick duration, compressed into just a split second in XD’s memory tape. Though just in that second alone, every detail of pure happiness that floods back into the present never fails to cause XD’s lips to twitch upwards.
Although it was going well and smooth—everything XD has ever wanted—wheels move in a circular motion. And life is a wheel. Powered by non-stop tales mortals run. Certain points are sometimes up (above in the skies, like you’re on top of the world) and sometimes down (below where everything is shred to broken pieces. Destroyed by the wicked hands of the world—or perhaps it’s the underworld’s doing).
George’s attention was split, and leaning further to the side XD does not prefer. And maybe it’s not his place to be mad, he doesn’t have rights for what a mortal should feel. Sure, he has his positions on the entirety of where ground takes place. But there’s no way to give law and order for someone’s heart.
But this guy—this guy—was doing all that. It seemed like he owned George's heart. Getting those glances of fondness from the brunet's round hazel eyes every time he came around. Blond, tall, and charming. Dreamy, living up to his name. Traits which XD learned from the past centuries of being a god are attractive. Who wouldn't fall?
Fuck Dream.
In a matter of fact, he could kill him out of spite if he wanted to. Simply send a request to an old friend beneath the dirt he steps on. Put a quick hello and a sentence to follow, then it's set. But hey, come on, he's a good god.
Besides, if George is happy, isn't it enough?
So, despite being screamed at by his own conscience, the god cut all ties with the pretty boy for a while. Emptying his head and at least trying to focus on his relation with other deities and fixing long-lost friendships. Built an affair and tore it all down. All that in the span of countable years.
He didn't lose time, he lost the meaning of it.
Back to the present, it has been more or less four years since he laid eyes on George. When haunting trails of the Brit stains his persistent train of thoughts on the daily for the last few weeks, it took a lot of might to stop himself from wondering. How is he today? Did he sleep well? What did he eat for breakfast? Has he eaten at all? Is his favourite spot still the same? Does he miss me?
But here he is, waiting for something to happen.
Vulnerable in between wild, controlling forces of the universe. Prone to hungry night wolves and skeletons with their greedy bows. Brainless zombies with their ridiculous hunger level. Now, it's not like he's not immune to those, because of course he is. In sooth, if something could kill him, it'd be the sighting of a strange "creature", the rumours that begin to spread, and the moment he'd have to hide while progressively evolving as a legend put in fairytales that sells hundreds.
He'd done that, made it to dumb pieces of stacked papers that got handed out to gullible childrens. Had to remain absent for more than a decade for the havoc to die down.
"Dream", they referred to him as. It's kind of ironic, really, considering the very mortal he was jealous of was named the exact same. Same word, same syllables, and same George.
Everything, everything reminds him of the man that holds the warmest smile along with the most delicate features. The universe is unfair. So lovable and lively, kind-hearted in multiple silly little ways. It's such a thing to say about George. It's endearing.
The five stages of grief. XD was at stage zero—a stage nobody ever mentioned, but it appears as bright as neon signs—when he decided on leaving: shock. Then not so long after, denial corrupted his head to the point he was about to step back into George's life and stay glued to the boy—pretending that he's wanted. But that flew quickly, and now, he's reached acceptance.
Damp rocks in his heart dried off and burned to ashes, blown out through each and every aching pore of warm skin.
Alright, he decided. He'll come back for George precisely next Christmas. The Brit's favourite holiday, he learned. Say hi. It won't hurt.
-
The number 25 is messily circled by vibrant red ink. You can tell whoever did that is an energy ball for the holidays. The force of the tip is thick and harsh, the line falters at the end.
He spotted the calendar earlier near the objectively huge gate of Manberg. Seemed like the nation had some collective agreement in terms of restructuring building designs—maybe even changed entirely. Not sure about the political fuss, though.
Silver motifs carved onto the iron like ice frosting. Beautiful, especially with snow coating each elegant curve. No one seemed to be near the gate. Busying themselves with the best times of their lives, sharing precious moments with friends and family.
Viridian eyes rake through the mass of people and boxes of ready-to-go presents. The place has really changed. Far more strict security and seemingly newly-built buildings. Everything seems somewhat less now. The atmosphere is not exactly tense, but the feeling of grasping something foreign is gliding on free, breezing weather. XD can't place his finger on what's missing and decides to be smart and not stress over it.
He inhales deep breaths that hurts the base of his nose, and prickles at the tip. He twists and turns his mind to recollect the memories he made briefing for this moment. Yes, he practiced for it with little shame to his heart. He can't ruin a reunion, a moment of sharing and giving what was lost, and finding what was untold. It's a tricky game of lost and found and he's not planning to lose.
A smaller man with a beanie clad on jet black locks is dressed up as Santa. Kids are gathering around the red puffy fabric, picking at what he could imagine are loose wool, whilst his face is obviously annoyed. The others are wearing tons of different costumes, and some not at all. XD laughs at the clutter of a sight. Oh, how he misses those days.
But what he's looking for is a particular person in blue. Or whatever whacky costume he would be wearing at this time of the year.
The god examines from above, careful not to catch attention on this beautiful day. Letting the folks stomp on slippery snow—that might cost them a broken leg, but 'you do you', as the phrase states—without awareness that a deity is looking at their every move. XD wants them to be away from the impression of judgement. He craves to see the pureness of joy left in humanity.
He can see why George loves Christmas so much.
So that doesn't make sense when he spots George alone in a corner, hidden from the rest of the town, knees tucked to his chest, arms hugging frail bones that threaten to collapse in unbearable quiver.
This is… not George. Or, at least, not the George he knows.
The George he knows is full of Christmas spirit. Pointing fingers to the moon and rambling how it would look like at Christmas, almost glowing white in the shadow of festivity. He would sit around all day sharing about how wonderful Christmas is. How he thanks his ancestors for having such fun traditions for the most fun merrymaking month of the year. He'd go on and on about his snowy adventures, and complain how XD misses all the jolly.
But the one in front of his eyes right at this moment, he doesn't recognize him. And he hates that pity is building up in his guts because he knows George wouldn't want that.
In one, selfish side of an ancient soul, he's grateful that the brunet is by himself. No prying eyes to wonder about the other man with the green coat. The other half is full of worry, yearning to plant a reassuring kiss on George's forehead and whisper the sweet truth that he is loved.
Whoever left George like this, isn't going to have a good time ahead.
XD is conflicted, to say the least. He's eager to leap onto George and ramble about how much he misses him. The presence of his laugh, his cheeky jokes, his smile, his face, him. But he's afraid to startle George, to face the possibilities that might occur. He left without a sign, and never looked back since. Now that he is ready to be back and have George once again, his heart shakes with anticipation.
Only the stars are watching, along with the dim light bulb where it illuminates George's hair yellow from above. Unmindful, helpless objects staring at an invisible wall between two separate beings.
Between two separate hearts.
XD remembers his mentor's words from centuries ago: it's a bad habit to overthink in situations where last minute decisions are required. Admittedly bad habit is an understatement, it's purely just stupid. So, he snaps out of it and takes a courageous step forward. Eyes squinting as if it would prevent negative affairs.
When he flickers his eyes open, a similar set of brown ones stares back.
Innocent, lost, and puzzled.
Fuck, maybe his mentor's way isn't meant for him.
XD is unable to look away. His mother was right when she told him beauty is the most powerful thing to ever exist. Because now, no matter how cruel this may sound, George's dried tears bring even more grace onto his unfairly perfect features. XD can't help but to have his sight glued to a precious boy in his puddle of pity.
"XD?" Weak voice comes out cracked.
XD stills by instinct, mouth gaping like a dumb fish. Trying to aim shots that got pushed by rogue waves. His voice is strained and he fears it would declare him fragile. So he let it low and slow, keeping it collected.
"George." He sighs. "It's been a while."
The face George makes is unreadable. It's almost everything at once that even divinites can't tell.
"Are you alright?" XD saunters closer, until what's left between then is only a block of dirt.
"Am I alright?" George sounds bitter. He throws his gaze aside, to the floodlighted forest where there is hardly anything to look at.
XD gulps, regret strokes the back of his throat. "Is there- Did I say, um, do something that upset you?"
He's well aware he did, but the words coming out of George's lips would be much of a relief. Not a good kind, but certainly won't cause confusion hammer his heart against his chest any longer.
"Did you do something that upset me? Are you out of your mind?" George laughs almost maniacally. Eyelids burst wide open with disbelief clearly painted on hazel pupils. "You left me, remember? Or don't you? Too busy being a god, fuck, I know. But just– You didn't say a shit! No goodbye, no nothing! At least say something so I didn't have to wait like a fool."
XD bites his lips harshly, it's one luck away from bleeding.
"I'm… George, I'm sorry."
George scoffs. "Then you come back years later thinking sorry will make it up. That's ironically so you, XD."
The god can only stare and wait.
"Fuck, I just—"
"Hey." With as much genuineness he can muster, XD mumbles. "Look, I'm really sorry but I can explain– No, no, I… shit, George, there's so much I can't tell you but I wish I could. Just, please, can you put trust in me, give me another cha—"
"Trust you? Bullshit. Last time I saw you, you said 'See you, George' and guess what? You disappeared."
Loathe laces a voice that once sang him a song. Yet frankly, it didn't sound far different. It's the same melodic hum of a chirping wood thrush, same refreshing breath to greet you along with the sunrise. It's still the same George but, this time, more miserable.
An obvious hint of hurt and confusion mixed up ambiguously at every word he spits out. It pains XD to know he himself did this—and he did it purposely.
"George, it's okay. You're okay."
Maybe it's his lack of understanding with human beings, but nonetheless it got him a steadfast slap on the cheek.
"I'm not fucking okay! Don't you put words in my mouth just for your own benefit because no, I'm not fucking alright." George clenches his jaw and retreats his eyes onto the ground as soon as the words spill out of him.
"I know, I'm foolish, stupid, and I should've been better. George I, I had… this feeling and I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't want to hurt anyone so I did what I did best." XD confesses. "Leaving."
It seems like the air has gotten colder, freezing breezes gnawing at his arms as his palm begs to crawl beneath warm sheets. Whereas George's stare turns warmer, turns closer to home.
But George is George and George is stubborn. Alert to possible sweet little lies.
"You could've just asked me, I wouldn't mind." George replies.
"I can't. I told you I can't."
The brunet sighs defeatedly. "Why won't you trust me? You told me to trust you, and I did, so why won't you?" The tone is woefully desperate.
"I trust you." It's the god's turn to laugh. "I trust you more than anyone, George. Believe me or not, you're the only one around here that has my trust. And sometimes it scares me, how you know me better than I do."
George falls silent. Air crippling in the cold of December. Festive, cheerful December. Anywhere but here.
"You won't even take off your mask!"
It takes effort and patience to break down George's walls. XD has done it from time to time, but this—reasonably—is the toughest.
XD frowns. "I would! You didn't ask."
George struggles to find a comeback. "Well, then– Take it off now!"
The deity stares for a second, mask attached, eyes drilling holes to find another button to push. Maybe, if he looked hard enough, he'd see the one to calm George. Instead, all he sees is a self-destruct button that if he elaborate further in their little (not) banter, he'd see the wrath of mankind.
"Okay," he simply says.
With careful, attentive, agonizingly slow pull of ceramic, XD begins to reveal another part of himself. No turning back.
With one last huff of breath, he lets his mask meet the surface of the earth. What withholds the secret of the universe collides with the universe itself, and XD thinks, nothing can beat the shock that comes afterwards.
"Dream?"
George whisper-shouts. Forehead wrinkling in absolute incredulity. There's confusion, hatred, longing, and thousands of other emotions poured on a pretty face like a giant cauldron. His expression is priceless, XD almost lets the moment take the wheel and enjoy the lies he's able to build.
But no, he's better than that.
"No, I'm not Dream, George," XD chuckles.
"What do you mean? You look exactly like him! Are you his omnipotent twin or something?" George examines the face that has been sitting there for the past thirty seconds one more time. Checking and consuming the apparent truth that this face is the face he had been talking to the whole time. "No way. No, this can't be. Dream is—"
There's pain in the way he said it. "Dream is…"
He bites his bottom lip and looks down. "Nevermind."
Despite having no idea what the other is talking about, the deity nods. "See? I'm not Dream. I'm XD. Still XD. Technically, I don't own a face. I just look like whoever you want to see."
The brunet exhales. "Oh."
"So, Dream, huh?" XD teases, trying to bring back old dynamics to smoothen out the tension. No matter how much it hurts, knowing George's heart yearns for another, he forces a playful smile.
"No, I… I just miss him. But it's wrong. It's just– It's complicated," George mutters.
"It's okay," XD reassures, despite being lost. He figures George would need a little loving.
In a gentle swoop, he finally holds out his hands to lead George closer. The smaller buries his head in his chest, ears against thrumming heartbeats. If George sensed it, he didn't say a single word. "It's okay."
It feels like heaven and hell all at once. A state where loving seems too easy whereas a kiss is a million miles away. But XD stays, they both stay. The god lets silence fall between them and gives George time to settle.
"Dream is in prison," George stammers before slowly letting go of the deity's comforting embrace. He has his hands intertwined together in a loose grip. Slim fingers fiddling with the hem of a green knitted cardigan.
The god's face falls visibly, painted in bewilderment. "Pardon?"
"Dream, he– I don't know what happened to him but he changed. He's no longer Dream. He lost his mind, he left… not long after you did, then blew up Manberg, our home. Dream is dead, now he's just a monster and I still love him and I feel fucking guilty." George is close to sobbing. "I-I miss him. So much."
Did Dream actually commit all that? No way, right? But this is George talking, so unless he's the one crazy, it can't be wrong. Sure, he annoys the fuck out of the god, but he sure as hell seem innocent.
This is the thing about the human world. Nothing of sorts is a thing you'd expect. Nothing is arranged, nothing is planned, just the ability of human beings to make such interesting plays to trip one another.
He feels soft hands grazing the stubble across his chin, caressing it so lovingly, he'd melt if it really is meant for him. Unfortunately, reality is nothing short or cruel. Two smaller hands clasp both sides of his face, leading him downwards with little to no force. "I miss you."
Breathe. Slow and steady. Puffs of light air trapped between two lips. So, so close to touching. So close.
XD shifts a bit. George snaps out.
"Look I, uh," the brunet lets go. "I was carried away by my feelings sorry I went on you too harshly. I poured it all on you, fuck, I'm so sorry." He pauses. "But that doesn't mean you're not at fault because fuck you for leaving."
There's a hint of humour in his words, but the deity knows there's also truth into it. "I won't leave you ever again."
"Mean it this time."
"We'll see." He jokes. But bitter lies on his tongue. An awful aftertaste for blatant lies.
"Hey, you know you can tell me anything right?" George says. Genuinity slips between plush lips, a bit swollen from nervous biting. There's hope in his eyes and curiosity draping his tone. The god knows well what he said is still a question hanging in thin air.
"Of course, baby." He lets the pet name slip out intentionally. Testing the waters even if he knows the fire of his burning desire and water doesn't work together.
Crimson blooms on George's cheeks, and it's hands down the most beautiful sight even on Christmas. As much as the god wants to take pride, he understands his place and the Dream mask he's wearing.
"So, Dre– XD." George clears his throat. "This is your first Christmas, yeah?"
"First one with you, mhm."
"Safe to assume you don't know what we do around here for Christmas, then?" George smiles. He's glad the roaring spirit is beginning to peek out. Happiness looks good on him.
"Affirmative." XD answers with a goofy smile sitting on flushed face. "Last one I had was about half a millennium ago with the North Chesters and it was fucking shit they had us licking snow for just a few bucks. Definitely not recommended, not worth the sticky tongue."
"Really?" George makes a face, suppressing a laugh. "That's just wild, I wouldn't even think of participating."
"Well, my life was pretty boring, and I won't die of that anyway, so why not give it a try?" XD answers, in a playful cocky way he knows will get a laugh out of George.
And he's right, vast ironic hiccups of laughter escapes pink lips in a humorous manner. "Oh, right. You're god. Bless. Amen."
XD rolls his eyes at that.
"You want to give Manberg's traditions a try too?" George offers, eyes warm as they burn through stitched hood.
It's an easy yes.
"With pleasure. Come on, let's get going before you get all sleepy and whiny." He rests both his palms on George's shoulders, caging his head between two large limbs.
It hurts how he still remembers George's nightly habits. Brought with painful memories that once were joyful. Sometimes he gets tired quickly and becomes an annoying—yet adorable—whining mess. The fluff of thick chocolate hair falling on XD's lap like it's meant to be that way. The deity's fingers lock through dark strands like perfectly matched puzzle pieces.
XD thinks, on one of those nights, was the point where he realized he's in love. Mad, mad love.
And some days, George doesn't sleep at all. As awake as a toddler on Christmas morning, as awake as sneaky bats and wolves at late night hunts.
"And I'm sorry, y'know, about him."
George lets a foolish jittery chuckle accompany his words. "It doesn't help when you look like that. But thanks, truly."
They begin their stroll, up the pathway of Manberg the deity used to know. Written in his muscles and memorised by every step. He would've remembered even by now if only it's still the same path. So, he follows the mortal from behind, taking blind steps after another. Oddly familiar places come to sight, decorated by scratches and traces of disarray.
It's not a very comfortable walk, if he's to be honest. Old leather shoes scrape against pale snow that drowns green grass, or wet oak for that matter, every square foot of flakes so ethereal it almost looks artificial. He stares ahead at an eye-catching Christmas tree with tons of decorative lights and aluminium bulbs thrown messily at each side. A star on the top.
"Going all out, I see," the god comments.
"Yeah, took my breath away when I first saw it," George breathes.
They walk in unison, every step synchronized just like the racing heartbeat beneath butterflies and flushed cheeks. Hidden behind snarky banters and brushing arms. That thumps louder than the stomps of overly excited children in the center of snowy ground.
He hopes George feels it too.
It's way past midnight, so the town has died down. Everyone leaves heartfelt kisses to one another before bidding goodbyes for the night. Silent whispers of "merry christmas" gone by the wind. Lights start to flicker, then off. One by one, until what's left is the festive gleam of red and green around peaceful darkness.
"So." George spins. "Where do we start?"
"How about… those boxes?" XD points at the pile of colorful wrapped boxes of many shapes underneath the lush leaves of noble fir.
"Ooh!" George bounces on his feet slightly, minding the slippery state of the ground. His grin is giddy. "Come, come." Tiny palms meet bigger ones, only managing to cover it up partly.
The god drags his feet as George tugs his hand to follow suit. After a few almost-slipped and some more, they arrive at the bottom of the tree. Which is considerably bigger when you're only two feet away from the trunk.
"These are presents! We do a little exchanging on Christmas. It's a fun tradition, I'll tell you that. You just never know what you'll get. Exciting, right?" George explains. "And that reminds me I haven't opened mine yet."
"Ehh," XD shrugs, "surprises aren't really my cup of tea."
George makes a face. "You're lame."
"Whatever. What'd you get?" he asks, eyeing as the brunet struggles tearing up cheap paper. The urge to make fun is off the limit, but he only laughs.
"Patient, Jesus." George grits his teeth and dips his head lower. There's a moment where the god thinks he'd watch George slam his head on the box out of frustration. Instead, he rips the wrapping using his teeth. With eager movements, he finally manages to get it done.
George thoughtlessly opens the lid. Brown eyes visibly light up. "A polaroid camera!"
It's a pastel cream strange-shaped thing with a big jutted black circle on the front. The corners are slightly blunt, one of them has a thin white ribbon attached to the body.
"How does that work?" XD questions.
"God, don't tell me you're that old." The way he says it is humorously mocking. The god wants to kiss the annoying smirk off of his face.
"Well, I am."
"This is used to take pictures. But the results are immediate. So after you click it, it prints and voilà, a portrait." George chatters as he toys around with his new camera.
"Nice." XD hums.
"Say cheese!" A sudden flicker of brightness flashes before his eyes. Then a foreign sound comes after, taking a few seconds before it stops completely, bringing back the quiet of the night.
"Hey! I wasn't prepared for fucks sake!" XD groans. He peeks down to view the photo that had just come out, held in the gentle grip of George's mitten-covered palms. Printed pixels of a pretty face beside his own. Well, Dream's, if we want to get literal. At least to George. To him, it's just a vacant void of nothingness. "But that's a good picture. I'm a natural model."
"You're such a narcissist, Dream," George chortles.
The deity chugs up the sting like a dehydrated man. He knows his place. He lets it kill him.
"I mean– XD, sorry." The laugh George lets out is soft and nervous. Different from the hollow, mirthless dry laugh the god tries to muster as a fair exchange.
"It's fine. Can't really blame you here, can I?" Humorless. "You can pretend I'm Dream if you'd like. I don't mind."
And I'll pretend you love me.
"Don't say that!" George hisses. "It was only a slip… You look like him now, y'know. And you acted like him too. I just can't– I can't get him out of my head. M'sorry."
Rivers of compassion flows underneath gaping pores of numbing arms. Aching hearts driven for both ends of the sword. Suffocated in mixed feelings and the throbbing itch to own. The horrible sensation of having it like the entire universe puts you in your filthy little cubicle and sets a hierarchy that makes a lot of things you ardor seem no further than a misfortune. Every vine out in the wild appears ready to get you, strangle, then shorten your lifespan by a century—if not more.
"Hey, don't be sad, now, yeah? Where's the spirit, sweetheart? Sadness can wait. It's Christmas, c'mon, let's have fun!" XD chimes. It's too genuine and heartfelt for his liking. It shows how deep he has fallen, and that is a deadly weapon against the friendship they've built.
George sniffles. Punching the taller's bicep lightly. "Stop being a sap."
"I'll stop when you smile."
The roll of pretty hazel eyes is inevitable. So is the giggle that's bound to escort. But nonetheless, it works and the bloom of a smile that takes up almost the entirety of the brunet's face is by far XD's biggest achievement of the day.
The blond snatches the camera from George's wobbly grasp, aims the camera to the brunet, and pushes the most reasonable button to snap a picture. "Got it!"
"Hey!" George protests.
"You look cute. Couldn't resist." He smirks as both wait for the printing to finish. Inch by inch of a smiley George slides out the gap, freckles prominent on moderately grainy paper.
"Ugh, stop! Let me take a look." George seizes the thick material and skims over it. "Huh. You take good pictures, I'll give you that." Then he stows it away in his knee pocket along with the previous one.
"Admit it, you do look cute." The taller pushes.
Even though George brushes it off and chooses to drag XD somewhere else, the blush that creeps on soft cheeks says more than words could ever.
The place he's dragged to next is a humble shack. Big enough to fit a dozen people. Maybe even two dozens if you squeeze hard enough. The top is covered by dried hay, atop of that lays a thin stack of spruce branches with some ornaments decorating the plain leaves.
Inside it, is a clutter of cooking ingredients. Dough spread around every countertop and flooring, wholly coating messily arranged furniture along with snow remnants.
"Gingerbread house competition!" George chirps. "Old times' favourite. Just because we don't have to clean up after creating this hell of a mess. Thank the town's volunteers."
"Damn, I would hate to be a volunteer if this is a part of the agenda." The blond snickers, ducking his head down to get a clearer view of absolute chaos.
"Their agenda." George exaggerates a shiver. "You don't want to know."
"Oh please, do tell." Sarcasm drips off eloquent tongue.
The night goes on, each of every stop milks out energy from the pair, ending them with contemporise yawns. It's their eighth stop, and George leads them to an empty lot. Slippery snow hiding what's beneath from roaming eyes. And fuck knows if risky wafer-thin ice is somewhere underneath.
XD frowns, eyeing the brunet then the tract, back and forth.
"Nothing tricky, this one. Good old snowball fights." George says. Voice soft from weariness.
Fogged breath leaves the blond's mouth as he nods, arms snaking to the smaller's waist. "As much as I'd love to smack a handful of snow onto your face, you look tired. Call it a night?"
George leans his head forward until it hits XD's chest. Calming beats that have lulled him to sleep multiple times before. "No… I don't want to lose you again."
"Hey, now." XD crouches down, enough to meet eye-to-eye with the brunet. Calloused fingers trace on alabaster skin, pushing ever-so-slightly on soft cheeks, caressing with a level of gentleness that exposes the ache of a pining heart. "I told you I'm staying, yeah? I'll be right here tomorrow morning. First thing you'll see when you wake up. Okay, baby?"
"But…" George sighs. "Promise?"
"Promise." He mumbles the rest. "Tomorrow morning."
Because that's just about how long I can stay.
Cold fingertips glaze above his own, rubbing indistinguishable shapes upon skin and veins. The brunet mutters a few words the god would probably be able to hear if he was a tad bit shorter. But the movement of plush lips forms a "thank you". Sheepish and sweet.
They wander across the town with nothing more than not-so-slick flirtatious jokes, stolen sneaky glances, and stardust magic that builds a home.
He's home. They're both home.
That's how it's supposed to be.
But not quite.
"I want to do something," George says in the middle of their silent saunter.
"Okay," the deity responds, waiting for the smaller to continue. But nothing comes, he keeps walking. "Go ahead."
"I will," the Brit replies, tension laces saccharine tongue. Thick accent comes clear to the god's attention. "Soon, when we get there."
XD hums, drifting his attention back to pearl flakes falling from infinite skies. They're delicate, small, and beautiful. Enough for a distraction, but it fails, while he drowns pounding covet in quicksand.
He wants to ask, a lot, but he figures questions can wait. He'll just have to trust George.
After minutes that feel like seconds, they arrive at this little cottage. It reeks of tulips and freshly baked cookies. It's so, so sweet yet painfully evocative. Odorous smell of being back home overpowering the odourless, black and white of lost hope.
The edge of XD's toes nudging damp dark oak. The sharp corner of it shows despite the pile of albino flakes.
"We're here."
"Your house?" A question that appears more as a blunt statement.
George simply nods, a strange smile completely enveloping his face. The curl of inviting lips sends shivers up the deity's spine, slowly taking over his entire body. It's reckless, mischievous, yet deliberate. It raises his being to cloud nine, and time will tell if it would drop him, too.
"Don't just stand there." George's voice snaps him back to reality. Virescent eyes spotted the brunet near the entrance of his home. Mushroom patterns surround him in the spotlight.
XD happily obliges, stepping up the bridge to cross over to the cottage. The usual calming sound of the pond is gone, replaced by the crippling emptiness of frozen ice. Warmth approaches piercing breeze when George is only one hug away.
"Now what?" One of his eyebrows raise, a soft puff of breath lands on the brunet's hair as the low ceiling forces the god to duck downwards.
And he didn't know such simplicity of less than five words would have a huge effect on him until…
"Kiss me."
The way he says it is weightless, so light and deftly confident. It's like he knows it's coming, he knows he'd get a yes, he knows he earns a kiss. And perhaps, he knows XD wants to.
No, no. "Don't expect too much. You'll get hurt." He remembers Drista saying.
"What?" Dubiety pushes air out of his lungs, and words flow out harsh.
A sliver of distress puts itself on the stage that is George's eyes. Too bad of a liar, he supposes. Submitting feeble emotion on display, even if just for a second. Micro expression. Then, almost immediately, pulls his pride back and risks it on the line. "Do I really have to say it twice?"
The deity loosen his tensed shoulder in the conscious absence of agitation. "You tell me."
It's when two worlds clash and promises break, when the shadow of a god drowns a mortal in intertwined fate. Agonizing seconds before two lips melt against one another is when XD feels it, all over again. The longing, the forbidden hazard of perishable blood at the noble fingertips of supreme beings. Yet butterflies that's inching up closer to the back of his throat have him locked up in a pure world of naivety.
Golden eyes flutter lower, meeting the plush pink of kissable lips that will leave a haunting mark on scarlet tongue. He knows that if he leans and presses, the universe is bound to obtain its prize separating vetoed amour. So, he does.
The first thing he notices is the plump of George's lips looks like fantasy and tastes like venom. A drug that keeps him addicted. Keeps him alive. It spills poison into the god's mouth as they melt in each other's embrace. Exchanging spit like foolish beings. Too innocent, too artless.
Large palms envelop the brunet's waist and pull closer, impossibly close, it's a miracle he's still breathing. The other's arms are circled around the blond's neck, rubbing soothing trust on tanned skin. They move in perfect sync, fearless and carefree. As if they're the only ones around and time freezes upon their will.
It's perfect. It's them. It's too good to be true.
When they part, both are panting, with stupid grins plastered on flushed faces. XD stares, a little too long on swollen lips. Pride blooms in his chest. I did that.
"That's…" George pauses to catch a breath. "The last tradition."
Sweater paws brush the remnant of spit glazing the corner of pursed lips. And XD thinks nothing compares to this very sight.
"Oh?"
"The mistletoe." The brunet points upwards, head tilting to meet the green leaf hung on the wooden ceiling. "If you and someone else are under one, you're obligated to kiss. According to the… 'rule', apparently."
"Wow, you mortals never fail to amaze me." The deity chuckles, moving to step on dirt, off the porch, so he can stand straight.
"What? Blown by our ways or by that kiss?" The brunet teases. Peals of giggly laughter bursts from within.
"Both." XD smiles.
George yawns, red mitten covering 'o' shaped mouth. "'Kay, time to sleep. Very amazing time with you, as always. Now get in before you catch a cold."
The god is more than happy to comply, stepping inside the familiar cottage with ease. Warmth immediately spreads through his body, leaving behind the freezing cold on the other side of the door. He settles near a fireplace, letting the heat flow through his bones and relax.
There's a clicking sound of George shutting the door, then a body thrown onto a mattress. It feels sort of domestic.
Not long after, the deity finds himself dipped on the same mattress—the only mattress in the room, in fact.
"Do you miss me?" he asks a half-asleep George.
"So much." The words are slurred.
"Do you… Do you love me?"
There's a pause, it's audible.
"I don't know."
"That's fine."
They stay at their current positions. Far apart, facing opposite sides.
The brunet begins to let out soft snores, and XD hums a lullaby as he listens.
Everything from this day plays once again in his head. The screams, the cries, the hugs, the kiss.
He lifts his hand and traces a finger on his lips, feeling the ever-lasting taste of George.
Maybe everything is about George, anyway. No matter in what way, path, or reality. Even if he's the immortal one.
The universe loves George, he reckons. It does anything in its power to keep George happy and accompanied. Giving Dream when XD isn't there, and XD when Dream is gone. What are the chances of befriending a god, anyway? Let alone make them fall for you. Even if the trail bleeds tears and broken promises, in the end it's all for him.
Perhaps it's just XD's misery talking. Or maybe he's right.
He presses a kiss on the top of George's head, whispering a goodnight. One more tantalising glance of someone he'd never have, before he closes his eyes and drifts into dreamland.
Next morning, George wakes up alone. With a note attached to the nightstand.
In scribbled handwriting, are XD's last words.
Hi George :) Had a good sleep?
It's 8 pm as I'm writing this. You woke up for a bit, I think. Said some words then fell back asleep. So I kept my promise didn't I? The weather is nice. Chilly, but nice. Check the kitchen counter, I made you a pancake. Can guarantee my cooking got better from last time. You love pancakes right? Of course why am I even asking
Thank you for yesterday :) I missed you. And I'm sorry for leaving, I know I suck for that. You might already know this but if you didn't, I loved you. No, I still do. I was a coward, a jealous coward and when I saw how you look at Dream… I couldn't take it. Yknow? Yeah that's pretty damn pathetic… Okay that was surprisingly easy.
Take this letter as a final goodbye, George. I promised a tomorrow, I know. But I can't let you be with me. It's impossible :) my love for you was impossible.
I thought of waiting until you wake up, but I know you wouldn't let me go, and I wouldn't have the heart for that.
It pains me to write this letter and I know it'll hurt you too, but I hope you know I mean well.
Take care, love! :)
Live as wild as you wish, I'll be tagging along in the backseat.
XD.