Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s not the Mondstadt Crepus is familiar with when he wakes up, he doesn’t even remember closing his eyes. 

His mouth tastes like sulfur, it’s dry and he feels sore, lamenting his old age as he sits up. 

“Master Diluc?” A voice is inquiring and that's new. Yes he and his son look similar but Diluc is not yet a ‘man’ and Crepus most definitely is. 

“Close try, lad.” Crepus smiles wryly, willing his eyes to open and facing upwards, a child observes him, wide eyes and round cheeked. “I’m sorry!” The kid hastens. “The hair and-“ 

“It’s quite alright.” Crepus assures him, he doesn’t want the child to panic, it was a simple misunderstanding, Crepus isn’t offended by any means he’s more… bemused. 

“I thought Master Diluc was the only one with hair like that” the kid babbles, and yes their hair is quite the eye catcher. “He got it from his old man.” Crepus informs teasingly. 

“Oh, I never met Master Diluc’s father.” 

“Well now you have.” Crepus stands, it’s harder than it should be and everything turns a saturated blue for a moment. He sways and he feels the kids arms latch around his waist, steadying him. 

“Are you alright sir!?” 

“Yes, thank you. I just got dizzy for a moment.” 

“Where are you headed?” The kid asks. He has pale, pale hair and large green eyes. “I can help you get there, you seem a bit ill.” That was sweet, Crepus misses when Diluc and Kaeya were bite sized and he could pick them both up and carry them away. 

“Dawn Winery.” Crepus responds, chuckling lightly. “I don’t know if a brewery is a good place for kiddos but I’m sure we could grab you some grape juice, it’s my son's favorite.” 

They make their way staggeringly down the path, Crepus simply put- feels drained, and strange, he catches glimpses of unfamiliarity and he’s on edge. Something is off and Crepus can’t quite put his finger on it. 

They arrive at Dawn winery in about fifteen minutes, the place is familiar, overgrown with vines, in-season grapes large, some splitting slightly, overflowing with ripe fragrant juices, a deep purple and sun touched with ridges of green, twining around solid wooden stakes. 

Crepus loves the property. “Thank you lad, I can walk the rest of the way, If you’d like some grape juice follow me- if you have better things to do I wish you well and thank you.” 

“I could go for some grape juice!” 

“I never caught your name.” Crepus edges, feeling rude. “Ah! Bennett!” 

“How old are you Bennett?” 

“Just turned 16!” Bennnett announces it like it’s an accomplishment, it is of course, Crepus pats him on the back “Happy late birthday Bennett!” That’s when they nudge the door open and a plate breaks. 

Adelinde is an amazing woman, Crepus himself interviewed her for the job, she’s thorough and when his wife died she stepped in to help raise his children while he fell to pieces, he will forever owe this woman. 

Adelinde is standing in the winery, broken plate near her feet, she’s frozen in shock- green eyes wide, her hair is shorter than it was this morning when Crepus had seen her, harsh bangs a welcome familiarity. “Adelinde are you alright?” He inquires gently, genuine concern coloring his tone, her hand trembles and she covers her mouth. 

“Master Crepus?” Her voice sounds delicate, a hair from breaking, nothing like the usual stern and self confident woman he is familiar with. “That’s me” he jokes, it falls flat and weak because there is something wrong with her, her hands are still trembling and are those tears gathering in her eyes? 

“Is everything alright?” Crepus asks again even when he knows the answer is clearly ‘no’ Adelinde straightens, inhales deeply, she forces her hands behind her back, formally she bows, eyes never leaving Crepus. 

“Welcome home, master Crepus.” Something in her tone conveys longing, like he’s been gone for a while. “If you could please sit in Master Dilu- Your office I’ll clean up this mess and be right with you.” 

“Adelinde what is going on!?” 

“Trust me Master Crepus.” She reassures, her eyes are wide and pleading and Crepus could never deny her. “Alright. Could you get some grape juice for this fine young man?” He gestures to Bennett who looks embarrassed, Adelinde eyes his muddy shoes with visible disdain, arching an eyebrow before nodding. 

“Of course Master Crepus, Sir please leave your shoes at the door if it isn’t too much of a hassle.” Adelinde’s words are firm- that it better not be a hassle- she will not let Bennett in with filthy shoes. 

“Oh, of course.” Bennett slips out of his shoes quickly, smiling like the sun itself. “I’ll… be in my office I suppose.” Crepus inserts, Adelide rarely asks favors of him but when she does he follows what she wishes to the best of his ability. She nods, “I’ll be right there sir.” 

There’s a hideous vase on a pillar as he walks towards the office, it’s colors are uncoordinated and it looks bulky and extra. It throws Crepus off because as much as the Dawn Winery is the same it is also very different and it leaves him feeling unsettled. 

Not only that but Adelinde’s reaction was so out of the ordinary, had he hit his head? Everything seemed just slightly to the left of where it was supposed to be, nothing large but different enough to be noticeable and unnerving. 

Crepus entered his office, it was it’s normal polished mahogany but the pictures of his sons on the walls were gone, perhaps Adelide was cleaning them? They got dusty sometimes but they brightened up his office and made him happy. Speaking of brightening things up, the curtains were drawn shut and heavy, the office cast in gloomy candlelight. 

Crepus never worked like this- his potted plant was also gone; it was much too dark in here. 

Pulling back the curtains Crepus was shocked by the sheer amount of dust that shook from the curtains, as if they hadn’t been opened in awhile- 

Crepus opened them every day . 

Something was very wrong, Crepus felt the Delusion in his pocket pulse in possibly maniac glee or comfort, it was hard to tell with delusions. 

He had a small knife on him, otherwise he was weaponless. He trusted Adelide, of course he did but- 

He was interrupted by voices, one loud and grumpy the other quieter but just as sharp- Adelide was talking to a man and she was mad. 

“If you could please just stop.” She snapped, the man replied with just as much ferocity. “You don’t understand. Portals have been opening everywhere and-“ 

“If you would listen to me you would know that-“ 

“Adelide I don’t give a damn about the house.” The voice cut through Adelide’s no doubt building tirade. 

The door flew open with a bang, black gloved hand wide spread, manic red curls barely contained in a messy ponytail and red/orange eyes narrowed. “There are portals opening all over Mondstadt, people have seen-“ 

And then, the man shut his mouth with an audible click, eyes meeting Crepus’s. 

“I told you.” Adelide reprimanded, sounding smug, she crossed her arms, lips pursed in an irat way that also conveyed superiority. 

The man took a step forward, as if in a trance, he was pale, his hair a mess, dark circles ringed those familiar eyes that he’d recognize anywhere. Eyes on a man that was much too old to be- but could not be anyone else besides- “Diluc!?” His son. 

Chapter Text

Adelaide was on him as soon as he had returned, clearly she did not understand the gravity of the situation, time displacement portals opening all over Mondstadt could very well devolve to all out chaos, already several individuals who were supposed to be dead had stepped through them, very much alive. 

Jean had ‘quarantined’ these individuals, for their safety and others, but portals had opened in at least two other places and Diluc had to- 

The last person Diluc had expected to see in his office was- no. 

“Diluc!?” The man's voice sounded shocked, small red beard, familiar red curls and warm brown eyes that held such love, so much love it sickens him. Don’t you know I killed you!? Diluc wanted to scream. 

How was he here!? 

No, Diluc knew why he was here. The time displacement portals. 

Damn the knights and their incompetence. 

“Father.” Diluc greeted curtly, as something in him wrenched, he found himself blinking back the hot shame of tears. 

“Son.” And Crepus is there, his hands held uselessly out in front of him like he cannot believe his eyes, they tremble slightly like he wants to cup Diluc’s face like he did when Diluc was a child. 

“We’ve had a… time displacement.” Diluc explains, but Crepus doesn’t even seem to mind, his eyes have never left Diluc’s face, they’re wide and teary and he lets out a small ‘oh’ that sounds like he’s breaking. 

“You’ve grown well.” Crepus croaks, his voice sounds raw as if he too is on the verge of crying. “My beautiful boy.” And Diluc is frozen as Crepus grabs his shoulders rough and gentle, steady in a way that only a father is. 

Diluc knows he’s fighting a losing battle, he avoids his fathers gaze yet his eyes are drawn to him, when were his eyes never not? His father was a magnet of charisma, of love, a pillar of strength and overflowing with affection. 

They are as brown as they ever were, stubby dark lashes and crows feet spread deep around his eyes, a man who smiled often. 

A man who smiled now, eyes red rimmed with repressed tears as he held his son's shoulders. 

They were the same height. When Crepus had died Diluc had still been a solid inch shorter than him at eighteen. 

“I- '' Diluc bit his lip, sure that if he bit down any harder it would bleed because he could feel the steady flow of emotion turn into a tidal wave of overwhelming mass that would dash him into the rocks below until he broke into a million bleeding pieces. 

“Ah I’m sorry.” Crepus was still smiling brilliantly. “It must be weird to see me making such a big deal about seeing you when I see you all the time like this… all grown up!” 

Diluc didn’t have the heart to say a word, he couldn’t say a word, his mouth had gone dry. 

Adelide stepped in. “We’ll have to take you to be examined by the knights of Favonius, to make sure everything is… safe.” Adelide did have a decent point, unfortunately it was lost on Crepus. 

“My son is right here, can he not do an examination and submit a form?” 

“Master Diluc is not a knight of Favonius.” Adelide offered, mercilessly. 

Crepus looked like someone had shot him. 

“Has so much changed!?” He whirled around to Diluc, eye’s comically wide “Are you injured?” Crepus was so genuinely distressed, and Diluc knew why. Before Crepus’s death, being a knight was his dream, he would be the Grandmaster and Kaeya would be his second-in-command. They had their entire life planned out and they had been excited. 

“I’m not injured.” Diluc hastily reassured, Crepus had begun to examine him like he could spot an injury and cure it. “Then why?” Crepus’s bafflement made his tone almost… harmful. 

“I found the Knights of Favonius… lacking.” Crepus’s face crumpled like a wet tissue. “Diluc.” He pleaded, for what he doubted either of them knew. “Are you- are you happier at least?” Crepus’s brows furrowed in tight confusion, mouth pushed in a concerned frown. 

When Diluc didn’t answer Crepus blew out a frustrated puff of air. “I suppose I’ll find all that out and your reasons later, yes? I’ve got to wait till this is my time.” 

Crepus’s time had come too early. 

“Where is Kaeya?” Diluc couldn’t stop the minuscule flinch at the name and Crepus knew him well, narrowing his eyes. 

Crepus was a gentle man but he was no pushover, he zeroed in on Diluc’s uncomfort and prodded. “Diluc? Where is your brother?” 

“It’s complicated.” Diluc felt weak arguing with his father, sidestepping him and plopping down on the desk chair before his knees gave out. “Son, is he okay?” 

“We don't see eye to eye much anymore.” Crepus seemed to get the deeper meaning behind his words because in a moment Diluc’s hands were encircled by his fathers. 

Warm comfort, hard calluses and thick set, his hands were still much larger than Diluc’s, they didn’t have the elegance of Dilucs- he had gotten his hands from his mother- all of his more delicate features were from his mother, Crepus was built solid and wide. 

“And where was I?” Crepus asked, hands still steady and wrapped around Diluc’s, protective, loving. 

“You’re away.” Diluc settled on, not necessarily a lie. He was away, somewhere he would never return from. 

“Could I see him? Kaeya?” Diluc ignored the pang in his chest, that his father had come back, for however brief this time was and wanted to leave so soon, to go to that drunk traitor, and liar's side. 

He pretended that he wasn’t lying to himself about who he thought Kaeya was. 

Instead he nodded, strained and tight. “He’s probably at knight headquarters, you need to fill out a form anyways.” 

“Will you come with me?” Crepus inquired, tilting his head in a vaguely teasing manner. 

“Unfortunately I cannot, I’m busy.” Something aching flooded Crepus’s face, yearning. “I remember when you were little and whenever I went anywhere you always wanted to come with.” 

“I’m not a child any longer.” Diluc responded, throat bobbing, Crepus pulled his hands away and Diluc mourned the warmth. “No, I suppose you aren’t.” He stood, smiling nostalgically. “Maybe we can all have a family dinner, I know it’ll be strange but-“ 

“No. Kaeya and I aren’t talking right now.” Crepus scoffed, loudly at that. “I’ll bring him over for dinner right?” 

“Did you not just hear me I said -“

“I heard you, my love.” Crepus bent down pressing a gentle kiss on top of Diluc’s curls “But I am your father and I don’t care, I won’t have all of this arguing when it clearly weighs on you so.” 

——

Kaeya lurched forward like a man starved, taller slightly than Crepus (shocking!) and dressed in an ostentatious getup. Kaeya had turned around, head leaned back in what could only be described as flirtatious when Crepus knocked on the door drawling out a “come in.” Only to almost fall off his desk when he saw who was at his door, blue eye wide and shocked, before tumbling forward like a newborn pup, tripping over himself and launching himself into Crepus’s arms. 

Arms wrapped securely around his adult son ! He pressed a firm kiss against Kaeya’s temple, the boy had grown so much, he still smelled the same except there was something cold permeating the normal warm scent of calla lilies.

 “My how you’ve grown” Crepus whispered in amazement, Kaeya blinked rapidly, something he sometimes did when he was trying not to cry, single eye smushed closed. 

“Dad.” Kaeya breathed and he sounded so crushed and relieved, it was quite the emotional rollercoaster to be greeted with. “You’re alive. Oh my archons.” 

Crepus stiffened and drew back, Kaeya let him, seemingly disappointed but not surprised, straightening and wiping his eye, still blinking rapidly. 

“What do you mean alive? Of course I’m alive.” Kaeya blinked, mouth pursed. 

“You did time travel right?” Kaeya clarified, Crepus nodded “Yes, I’m checking in with the knights right now, to fill out a form I believe.” 

“Dad you’re-.” Kaeya winced before he visibly steeled himself. “You’re dead in this time.” 

Chapter Text

Diluc had seen his father enraged only three times in his life. 

The first time was after his mothers death, he had been a grieving mess and some noble had dared question her sanctity and Diluc’s heritage, Diluc had been barely able to hold himself back, but had frozen at the pure rage Crepus had exuded. 

He had walked forward, silently, none of his usual swagger and charm, eyes flinty and dark beneath hair that seemed to puff out like a lion's mane and in a calm voice, drawing his steel as the room went silent, demanded the man battle him. 

The second time was before his death, he had grabbed Diluc’s hand in a grip so fierce and tight Diluc had dark bruises the next day, Crepus’s hair had been wild, his eyes slants “stay here, whatever happens do you understand me?” Calm, clipped like Crepus always was when he was enraged. 

“You need to be safe, Diluc.” 

Everything had spiraled out of control from there, both both of these times stayed ingrained in Diluc’s memory. 

This marked the third time. 

Crepus slammed the door open, behind him, vaguely, Diluc could see Kaeya, tense head down in what was very clearly shame or compliance. 

“Diluc.” Clipped, sharp, Diluc- beyond whatever will he had, couldn’t help but stiffen, the man strode towards him, unreadable and angry . 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Diluc had many things he hadn’t told Crepus, he was wondering which the man could possibly mean when he spoke again. “I am dead? You two are fatherless?” 

Diluc’s lip was bleeding, and Crepus seemed to take his silence as concession. What would he do now? Diluc was white knuckled, whenever Crepus was mad something disastrous happened. 

Crepus would never hurt him, he never had and he never would and Diluc never doubted that, but as Crepus drew close, eyes narrowed hair wild Diluc was so tense he was afraid he’d pull a muscle in his back. 

And he almost did, Crepus grabbed him, roughly, with desperation of a man who had found out he was dying and drew his son towards him like he could not survive a second more without him in his arms. And Diluc drew tighter, stiffer than a board. 

It took Diluc an embarrassing amount of time to realize he was being hugged.  

Crepus’s arms were firm around him, he was shaking slightly and breathing deeply as if trying to calm himself, steady himself, and yet even amongst all that fragility the age old feeling, the  feeling of whenever he was hugged by his father- returned. 

Diluc felt safe. 

He felt loved . 

Trembling, ready to backtrack faster than the speed of light, Diluc reached out an arm and brought it around his fathers broad shoulders, pulling him closer than the man had already been. 

His father smelled of paper and wine. 

“It’s alright son.” Crepus whispered, warm breath close to his ear because this Crepus was alive . 

“I’m here, it’s alright.” And Diluc wanted to, he struggled for a moment to push him away, an anguished cry built in his throat overflowing to his eyes prickling them with heat and wetness and his heart was beating too loud and he needed to push Crepus away because he couldn’t. 

He didn’t deserve to-

And yet, he was weak. 

His father let him struggle uselessly for a moment, weakly because Diluc couldn’t push him away, even though it was the right thing, even if all Diluc had ever dreamed of was seeing his father again and here he was- not only talking but feeling his sturdy safety, his arms around him like he was a child again and Diluc couldn’t stop the broken cry that was wrenched from his throat. 

He stifled any further cries, burying his head further into his fathers shoulder, curls stiff and itchy and red. 

Crepus was murmuring meaningless ressurances, all his anger seemingly having evolved into the longest hug Diluc had ever received. 

As long as Diluc’s head was buried in Crepus’s shoulder he could pretend that he wasn’t crying. That he wasn’t a disgraceful son who didn’t deserve the forgiveness and love of his father. 

When Diluc had been younger Crepus used to sweep both Kaeya and Diluc up in his broad arms, pulling them close like he’d protect them from the world, from everything. His little attacks of affection were always random, he would swoop in, like a hawk and snatch his children up, peppering them with kisses. 

Sometimes they would be annoyed, as little kids where when they were playing a game and an adult swooped down to disturb them, Diluc vividly remembered the one time he had squirmed and kicked his father in the face with a muddy boot. 

Crepus had laughed, squashing him further while Kaeya’s eye had been the size of a feast platter, Crepus was always gentler with Kaeya. 

He never ran a brush through Kaeya’s hair as he screamed bloody murder like Diluc, his hair an absolute mess of red and mud and sticks. Crepus had laughed at his suffering, loudly, throwing his head back in a big dramatic movement of what Diluc at the time had assumed the epitome of villainy would be. 

Diluc pulled away, it felt as if eternity had passed but at the same time no time at all, his eyes were dry, his mouth parched, he knew his skin was mottled in pink and red from crying. 

Crepus let him go, staying close, ever present. Diluc allowed himself shaky breath after shaky breath. 

His fathers arms had been so warm. 

“I thought you were mad.” Diluc settled on hoarsely, Crepus looked so infuriatingly gentle. 

“I was, am. But not at you. Never at you.” 

Crepus should be mad at him. Diluc drew his shoulders up averting his eyes, Crepus clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s have that family dinner, you look like you could use a nice meal.” That was true, Diluc was absolutely starved. 

Kaeya and Adelide were gone, probably already at the table, Diluc hesitated briefly, Kaeya would be there. Crepus’s arm on his shoulder felt both like the miracle he had been hoping for and the reunion he had been dreading. 

——- 

They had filled out the form rapidly, Crepus had been all pursed lips and narrowed eyes, Kaeya hadn’t seen Crepus mad much, it was shocking. 

“We’re going to Dawn Winery.” He announced, Kaeya cringed away slightly. “I’m not really welcome there anymore.” He joked, smiling wildly to make up for the fact that he was deeply uncomfortable. 

“Does it look like I give a damn?” Sometimes, Diluc and Crepus were eerily similar and Kaeya very much so did not like it. 

“Diluc and I are having a rough patch right now.” Crepus didn’t even spare him a glance. “Don’t try to get out of this, Kaeya.” He warned, similar to his gentle reprimands when Kaeya had run off and gotten drunk. 

Kaeya had shut up, mostly because this was Crepus and Kaeya would actually die for Crepus and also because he would never forget that sick moment when he had seen Crepus’s body and felt relief. The man had held too much power over him, Kaeya would follow him like a loyal hound. 

And so they entered the Dawn winery, if Crepus noticed Kaeya’s hesitancy he ignored it in favor of steamrolling to Diluc’s office immediately. 

There was a vase balanced on a stable pillar, the gift had been a complete joke, well…mostly. Something in Kaeya twisted seeing it hadn’t been immediately thrown away, that maybe some part of Diluc still cared for him. 

When they reached Diluc’s office Crepus took his older brother in a firm hug and did not let him go. 

Kaeya turned away when he heard Diluc break. 

Adelide made eye contact with him across the hall and gestured, impatiently. 

Desperate for a getaway Kaeya obeyed, walking up the woman who had been like a mother, or an older sister. “Adelide.” He greeted, smiling pleasantly. 

“Kaeya.” She responded, her shrewd eyes narrowed, eyeing him up and down. “Are you well?” There was some guilt in her tone, she had helped Diluc kick him out after all, hadn’t even said a word, just handed him his bags, eyes averted and showed him out the door into the rain. 

“I’m doing good, how are you?” The conversation was stagnant, Kaeya resisted the urge to fall back onto an easy public persona he had made because Adelide knew him, she’d probably kick him out all over again. 

“Older.” She stated “nostalgic now, I suppose.” She nodded her head to the office and Kaeya had to agree. 

“He won’t be able to stay here forever.” Kaeya hummed, Adelide didn’t look surprised. “It’s not his time, of course he won’t, you boys better not wallow the whole time he’s here though, waste of time.” She sniffed disdainfully a bit, implying that they were truly too foolish to understand the gift they had been given. 

Kaeya was not, he had been given a gift, he would appreciate every moment with Crepus. 

“I missed you Adelide.” 

“Help me finish dinner preparations and I may believe you.” 

Now that was a common occurrence back when Kaeya still lived with Diluc and Crepus, Adelide’s not so subtle jab at chores and how it ‘built character’ 

“Of course Adelide.” Kaeya trailed behind her, he pretended not to see her relieved small smile, he knew it had hurt her to watch him go, he didn’t hold any grudge against her, and for that she seemed relieved. 

Chapter Text

Crepus had gone to ‘freshen up’ which Diluc knew meant he had gone off to compose himself again, he couldn’t really blame him as he patted his eyes dry, knowing ultimately it was useless, his eyes puffy and an irritated pink. 

That’s when Kaeya decided to pounce. 

“Diluc.” A casual drawl, not the cruel biting ‘Master Diluc’ that Kaeya seemed to take pleasure in treating like a taunt as opposed to a title. 

“Kaeya.” Diluc stiffened, eyeing the cavalry captain, he knew he looked a mess and disparaged the fact that Kaeya could see him in such a state. Kaeya’s eye was alarmingly soft, something that Diluc found himself infuriated by. He didn’t need Kaeya’s false plastic pity. 

“Let’s try not to argue over dinner, hmm?” Kaeya raised an eyebrow as if daring Diluc to argue, Diluc was fine with that, he liked arguing. “I will not allow you to conduct yourself in a stupid manner and have nothing to say in response.” 

“I’ll be on my best behavior.” Kaeya assured, he almost seemed… nervous? 

“This dinner all hinges on you.” Diluc monotoned, all spite and blame “If it falls short that is on your shoulders.” 

“No pressure though.” Kaeya let out a light laugh, it chafed Diluc's nerves. 

Diluc opted to ignore that rather flimsy joke in favor of scowling fiercely at the laughing captain and brushing past him into the dining room. 

The table was set for three, it had been so long since the table had been set like this, years- Diluc was luckily too dehydrated to tear up again- because crying over a table was undoubtedly one of the stupidest things to cry over. 

“Strange isn’t it?” Kaeya was next to him again, a surprisingly warm presence, his tone was far away. “We used to eat like this everyday for years.” Diluc didn’t give him the dignity of a response but Kaeya didn’t seem to mind. 

He was right of course, Crepus sometimes joked that they had roots in Snezhnaya and that his ancestors moved from Snezhnaya to Mondstadt during the revolution, with their large emphasis on family- especially Crepus- Diluc wouldn’t be surprised. 

Crepus had insisted that no matter what, a family always had to have dinner together, so they had; sometimes obscenely late, because someone’s job ran overtime and it was almost ridiculous —but they always had dinner together. 

There had been one time where Kaeya had passed out in his soup- it was a moment he had never been able to live down- Kaeya hadn’t been sleeping well and had come home later, after training exhausted- they all sat down for dinner and Kaeya had passed out head first into soup. 

He woke up immediately, flushed and humiliated, Adelide patted him down with a washcloth laughing blatantly at him along with Crepus and Diluc. 

“You need more sleep.” She had reprimanded softly, she had brought him his soup in bed, after Kaeya cleaned up and Diluc remembered thinking that was unfair because Adelide never let anyone bring food into bedrooms. 

“Boys.” Crepus slid past them, clapping a hand on both of their shoulders, ushering them forward slightly. “Let’s eat, I’m sure I’ll take comfort in the fact that Adelide will always be an amazing cook.” 

“I can’t attest to that.” Kaeya laughed, leaning slightly closer to Crepus, unconsciously- Diluc was almost jealous Kaeya could so easily touch and interact with Crepus, Diluc felt stiff and thrown off- he felt disbelief and awkwardness. 

Kaeya honestly didn’t seem to give a damn. 

“What do you mean?” Crepus raised an eyebrow, and if that wasn’t where Kaeya got that particular habit from Diluc would marry Donna. 

“I haven’t been back here in years.” Kaeya proceeded, airily. Crepus looked like someone had shoved ten sour grapes into his mouth. 

“And… where have you been?” 

“I have a place in the city, I don’t live here anymore.” 

“I knew you two would probably move out when you got older- get your own spaces but I always thought…” 

“What, that we’d move in together?” Kaeya plowed forward mercilessly. “Nah, Don’t worry about it though dad.” 

“I can’t just not worry about it- Diluc did you ever want to move out?” Crepus’s attention was on him now, having his father, real, whole and alive in front of him always seemed to numb Diluc’s tongue. 

“No.” He finally answered- more of a lie really. “And you haven't invited Kaeya over for dinner ever?” Crepus sounded like he was trying to reason with Diluc, but all Diluc could hear was the possibility of disappointment. 

Crepus, coming back alive and being disappointed in Diluc was not something Diluc thinks he could handle. 

And for once, in his horrid, twisted cruel life Kaeya did what he did best—to help someone else. 

“Yes, dad- don’t work yourself up, Diluc and I were both raised by you- we know how important family dinner is to you.” His lies were seamless as always, if Diluc didn’t know any better he would think Kaeya was also from the past- a past where he and Diluc did get along. 

Unfortunately he knew better. 

“I thought you said you hadn’t had Adelide’s cooking in years.” Crepus didn’t sound suspicious, of course he wasn't, he didn't know how skilled a liar Kaeya was, he didn’t know his past. He trusted Kaeya, as his son. 

“Diluc usually heads over to my place.” Kaeya offers, “I can cook okay.” 

Part of Diluc was very curious if that was true, it was a possibility Kaeya could cook, a large one- he liked helping Adelide out, Diluc remembered that. Crepus settled, sitting down heavily at the head of the table with a sense of rightness. 

“Well, now we’re back, with Adelide’s cooking.” 

“I missed it.” Kaeya smiles genuinely, and Diluc can’t help but believe whatever snippet of truth that is, within Kaeyas' always growing web of lies. 

——-

Crepus stood in front of the bathroom mirror, it was clean- Adelide could never stand dirty glass. 

Crepus looked a mess, his hair straying from his ponytail everywhere, beard scraggly and unkept, eyes red rimmed like a drunk, he felt clammy and his lungs seemed to be uncooperative. 

He was dead. In this future, here and now, his first thought had immediately been his sons, the fact of his death hadn’t even hit him until now, where everything seemed so quiet and too loud all at once. 

His harsh breaths cut through the air as he willed himself to calm down. 

He was dead . 

Crepus’s hands clenched around the edge of the sink, white knuckled.

The children needed their father, Crepus could have an existential crisis over his death later, right now Kaeya and Diluc were his priority, as they always were. 

Crepus pushed back his hair. 

The man in the mirror did the same. 

Kaeya and Diluc were hiding something from him, it was both worrisome and humorous because they were his boys, and clearly they had forgotten that they couldn’t hide anything from him. 

The food in front of them looked delicious, and even though Crepus didn’t have much of an appetite (he felt sick) he ate the beautiful steak in front of him with as much zeal as he could. 

The conversation was slow, and awkward, like the one time Crepus had tried to pick up dating and couldn’t get through the awkwardness of it all, it should never be like that with his sons. 

Yet it was. 

Kaeya was all smoke and mirrors, uncomfortable with being himself so he became anyone else, Diluc was sullen silences and the occasional quip. 

He’s boys were different, that was to be expected and he would have been fine with that- people grow and change. It would be unfair to expect them to act the same, but they were both so very clearly uncomfortable and that was the problem. 

“How have you two been?” Crepus asked an ambiguous question, simple enough to answer as his children pleased- straying from the topic of family meals- something that had clearly made them both uncomfortable. 

“I’ve been fine.” Kaeya responded, he smiled tightly, “fine.” Diluc grunted. The conversation went nowhere. 

“I always thought Kaeya would be the one to take over the wine industry.” Crepus offered “He always liked wine much more than you” 

“And here I am the cavalry captain and Diluc the Master of the wine in Mondstadt.” Kaeya sipped from his wine glass, just to be contrary probably. “He still doesn’t like wine much, I don’t think.” 

“I prefer Grape juice.” Diluc was scowling directly at Kaeya. Kaeya smiled wide in response, eye cold. “Yes, every immature young man's favorite.” 

“I prioritize my job and my health.” 

“Because having some fun would actually kill you.” 

His children were arguing, they weren’t even trying to hide it now. Well, at least they were acting authentically, if this was how they normally interacted. 

“Kaeya, Grape juice is a valid preference, Diluc your brother is an adult- he can make his own choices- I do hope you take care of yourself however, Kaeya.” He felt as if he was micromanaging everything. 

“Did you know your son is into unauthorized vigilantism?” Kaeya purred, Diluc actually kicked him from underneath the table- like Crepus wouldn’t notice. 

“Which son?” 

“Diluc, obviously.” 

“Don’t say obviously .” Diluc snarled, “It isn’t obvious, you’re the irresponsible one.” 

“So you admit it’s irresponsible.” 

“It is for the betterment-“ Diluc sputtered, restarting “-to make up for your knights and your inefficiency- while you go off and get drunk.” 

“Are you calling me a slacker?” There was something cold and prodding in Kaeya’s tone. 

“Children- stop-“

“We aren’t children anymore, dad .” Kaeya whirled on him, a cold smile stretched across his face. “You can’t just time travel and try and fix things. That’s not how life works.” 

“Kaeya.” Diluc spat. “Don’t be so disrespectful-“ 

“No.” Crepus held up a hand and Diluc’s mouth clicked shut, audibly. “Kaeya’s right, this isn't my time and it isn’t up to me to micromanage two adults and their relationship- you two are adults , it would be disrespectful of me to treat you otherwise.” Kaeya blinked, as did Diluc. “However, you are still my children, no matter your age and you are brothers.”

Diluc visibly bristled, Kaeya cringed. Good. They were in some deep waters. 

“Unless… you two forgot to tell me something?” Their reactions where always too telling and Crepus wasn’t dumb. 

Kaeya neatly slid his silverware onto the napkin, folding it and smoothing the wrinkles, he straightened the plate, he stood, gathering himself, locking eyes with Crepus. 

“I was disowned, I use the last name Alberich now.” 

“Disowned.” Crepus tasted the word in his mouth, it was sour. 

“It’s complicated.” Kaeya sighed heavily. “I’m heading home now, unless you need anything?” 

“You’re staying the night here, we’ll prepare a room, your old one—or the guest one.” 

“We won’t.” Diluc cut in. “Let Kaeya go home.” 

Diluc’s gaze was something fierce. 

Sometimes it was hard to find his child in those angry eyes. 

“Come back tomorrow Kaeya, please.” 

“Dinner?” 

“Breakfast.” 

Kaeya laughed at that, pushing his chair in and walking over to Crepus, pressing a light kiss onto his hair. “We did miss you, dad. It’s just complicated, okay?” 

Kaeya was always complicated, something in his voice spoke of an age old hurt. “I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast.” 

He left then, Diluc pointedly avoiding his gaze. Crepus sighed, he had been dropped in quite the mess. 

He stood, grabbing his and Kaeya’s plates, ready to bring them to the kitchen, before leaving the room he paused. 

“I love you Diluc.” 

Diluc stared down at his empty plate. 

They’d talk more tomorrow. 

Chapter Text

“Goodmorning.” 

“How the hell-“ Kaeya rubbed the sleep further from his eye, squinting, Crepus stood in front of him- a bit stiffly, a picnic basket in his arms. 

“Diluc gave me your address.” Crepus responded to Kaeya’s unasked question. Kaeya blinked. “ He knows my address?” 

“And here I thought you two had dinner together here often” Crepus’s voice was thick with sarcasm, Kaeya rolled his eyes “Yeah well. I’m disowned.” 

“That’s what I want to talk about, actually.” Kaeya did not have the energy- but this was Crepus, something in him was infuriatingly soft with his adopted father. 

“Come in I guess, what’s in the basket?”

“Adelinde made breakfast, she practically shoved it in my arms.” They both exchanged a fond smile. Kaeya stepped lightly out of the way, shivering. 

He always got cold in the mornings, only wearing a plain white shirt and dismissing his eyepatch in favor of wearing a softer gauze around his eye. 

And although Kaeya hadn’t seen Crepus in years, Crepus had seen his son Kaeya quite recently and clearly remembered all his little habits, pulling him towards him, sharing his warm body heat. 

Kaeya snuggled against his side slightly, it was so…nostalgic. 

“It’s nice to see some things haven’t changed.” Crepus murmured, he seemed pleased by his son's closeness, if Kaeya had to guess it was probably because he was sad by Dilucs lack of cooperation. 

“Diluc’s just traumatized.” Kaeya mumbled back “I’m still struggling to believe you’re alive- we both do it differently I suppose.” Another light laugh, Crepus shifted his weight slightly. 

“The difference between Diluc and I” Kaeya began an edge to his voice that made Crepus uncomfortable- “Is that he thinks he has time , I know we don’t- we never do.” 

“What do you mean?” Crepus smelled familiar, like his many papers he used to work on and thick heady wine. “You can’t stay here forever, it’s not your time- You’ll go back soon- I just want to enjoy the time I have with you here and now, the problems don’t matter.” 

“I think the problems matter for that very reason.” 

Kaeya shifted so Crepus had a clear view of his displeasure. “You’re dead , petty disputes don’t matter.” 

“These disputes don’t seem petty.” 

Kaeya sighed, sliding away from Crepus and making his way to the picnic basket Crepus had set on his table. The building was small, and cozy  a bit sparse. 

“Dang, waffles.” 

“Kaeya.” 

“It’s really not any of your business father, wouldn’t want to spoil the future you know.” 

Kaeya froze and then he was stumbling over his words in a way he hadn’t since he was a child, a messy idea forming in his head- an idea that could fix everything- 

“We could save you- we could spoil the future, tell you what happens, how you die- we could—“ 

“No.” Kaeya was taller than Crepus, just slightly- his frame was smaller though, of course. “What do you mean ‘no’” 

“I will not jeopardize this future, where you are both safe and healthy for my own selfish fears, you my sons have always been the priority and if you are both alive and well I don’t care to gamble.” 

“But you could fix everything -“ 

“I’m not perfect Kaeya, I am trying to help you both but ultimately these problems are here for you to solve.” 

“I don’t think I can.” And Kaeya was snarling, in his own way, it wasn’t as feral as Diluc’s or blatantly furious as Crepus but Kaeya knew for a fact it gained people's attention. 

“I believe in you, Kaeya.” 

“I was- archons, Crepus I‘m not a good person.” Kaeya made an aborted movement- like he was going to run a nervous hand through his hair before stopping himself. “You are, you’re a good person Kaeya” 

Kaeya couldn’t handle it. He was a liar but he would not let Crepus become one. Those words were as false as Kaeya himself. 

“I was glad- for a moment- a sick, sick moment. When I found out you were dead.” Every single word was whispered, Crepus went still and Kaeya struggled to read his face. 

“Why?” Crepus’s tone was measured, Kaeya was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

He wasn’t Crepus’s true son, Crepus had loved him- made him feel loved, Crepus had shown him what a true father was supposed to be like and Kaey had loved Crepus. 

But Kaeya wasn’t Diluc, he wasn’t the biological son and he knew Crepus must have limits for him. 

Surely hearing how Kaeya was relieved at his death would be the end to that seemingly endless patience. 

“It made things easier.” It made things easier, that if he ever betrayed Mondstadt, or the fact that he used to be a spy was revealed- he would never have to see Crepus’s disappointment, never make the man think his kindness had been the wrong choice. 

Crepus needed to know his kindness was a gift, not something people could use to stab him in the back. 

So when Crepus died it was easier, and Kaeya knew he wouldn't betray Mondstadt, probably as soon as the first year with Crepus- but Crepus still couldn’t know. 

“I’m sorry.” Crepus exhaled, shakily. “That me being in your life made things harder for you.” 

Kaeya scoffed, loudly. “No. You know I didn’t mean it that way.” 

“Then explain it to me.” 

“I can’t.” Kaeya huffed, Crepus softened, hands reaching out. “You said you missed me, is that true?” 

“Yes, I don’t see how that has to do with anything-“ 

“You missed me.” 

“I was still relieved when you died.” 

“I wouldn’t be surprised, but you still care for me Kaeya and you still suggested saving me even if it would make things ‘harder’ for you, doesn’t that show how much you care?” 

Kaeya couldn’t argue with the logic- even though he could, he didn’t want to spend all of his time with Crepus arguing over his own guilt- that would be a waste of time. 

“You know what I’ve always wanted to do?” Kaeya smirked, mood shifting 180 degrees, Crepus was used to it, tilting his head curiously. “What.” 

“I never had the chance to legally get a drink with my dad.” Kaeya had been 16 when Crepus died, the legal age being 18. 

“Do I really die so soon?” 

“Don’t think too hard about it- I’m sure a drink will soften the edge.” 

“Drinking in the morning?” 

“The only acceptable time to drink” 

That drew a laugh out of Crepus, slinging his large arm around Kaeya and drawing him close. “Diluc might be onto something, are you a slacker my dear boy?” 

“Only on the easy days.” 

———-

Kaeya and Crepus stumbled through the door, they both smelled of booze and tilted like the axis of the earth didn’t care to cooperate with them. 

In short they were both drunk and it wasn’t even two o’clock. 

“I don’t understand how an actual child- can make drinks so good with the most random ingredients.” 

“Diona is a special one.” Kaeya replied, laughing softly, Crepus laughed as well, louder and more boisterous. 

Against his will Diluc felt his mouth twitch. He hadn’t heard his father laugh in a long time. 

“Welcome back.” He cut in seamlessly and dryly, Crepus staggered upward, somehow he got halfway across the room in a moment and cradled Diluc’s jaw. 

“Tell me what happened.” 

“What?” 

“Tell me why you feel the need to isolate yourself from me, son.” 

“I’m not-“ 

“Don’t you just hate liars Diluc?” Kaeya was infuriatingly smug, “I already pleaded my case, it’s your turn, don’t be a coward.” 

“Kaeya, don’t provoke your brother.” 

“I’m no coward. I doubt you told him the full truth.” Kaeya shrugged, staggering to lean against the wall. “If I remember correctly you killed him didn’t you? Crepus.” 

Diluc felt his breath leave him. 

Crepus stilled. 

And then everything went to hell. 

“It was a mercy kill- don’t worry dad, Diluc didn’t completely snap-“ 

“Shut the hell up” 

“Kaeya, Diluc can we please-“ 

“Oh yeah? You want me to shut up?” Kaeya leered, leaning forward slightly tipsy, eyes feverishly bright. “Make. me.” 

Diluc lunged forward, Crepus yelled, Kaeya cackled. 

“You have no idea what you’re talking about” Diluc roared, hands wrapped around Kaeya’s neck, the cavalry captain spread his arms out in an exaggerated provocative ``what can you do- stance. 

“Don’t I? You could never handle the hard stuff.” 

“Diluc, let go of your brother.” 

“You laughed when you saw his body.” 

“They say you laugh when you don’t know what else to do.” Kaeya was laughing now, eyes teary with mirth or grief, it was hard to tell. 

His lips were turning purple. 

Crepus wrenched his grip off Kaeya, the cavalry captain staggered a moment before straightening, infuriatingly unaffected. 

All Diluc could see was red. 

“He’s a spy.” Diluc yelled, arms flung out- grand reveal, just watch Kaeya brush that off too, see if he could make light when he was the one in hot water, see if he could laugh with his neck on the line, faced with Crepus’s disapproval, disappointment and maybe even with anger. 

Chapter Text

“He’s a spy.” Diluc roared his voice was something anguished and torn, next to him Kaeya was drawn tight, like a wire a moment from snapping, his sole eye wide and so very blue. 

“Diluc.” Crepus pleaded because his beloved son seemed wrecked. “How did you find out such a thing?” 

Diluc’s jaw twitched, Crepus saw stubble growing slightly along the edges, it still amazed him that they had grown so much. Crepus waited patiently and Diluc finally conceded. “He told me. After your…” Diluc bit his lip, cutting himself off, expression inscrutable.

 “I’m sorry we didn’t tell you.” Murmured Crepus, it was one of the things he had found the most shame in, keeping such secrets from his son.

There was a pause and than:

 “You knew?” Diluc’s voice cracked, fragmented into a million pieces. 

“Yes.” Crepus informed, Kaeya’s shoulders were tense, when he spoke his voice was a latent whisper. “How long?” How long had Crepus known!? Because Kaeya hadn’t told him. 

“Children Spies are unfortunately not an uncommon occurrence.” Crepus mourned, it always infuriated him when people were cruel to children. “I wanted you to have a good home, know what having an actual family would be like because clearly your old family did not value you enough.” Crepus could see Kaeya tremble, breaths coming out shaky. 

“You knew.” Diluc’s eyes were wide and betrayed. “You knew he was using us, faking, lying spying-“ 

“He was a child, Diluc.” Crepus snapped. “He was a child, and I’d like to think not everything was a lie. My sons.” He reached a pleading hand out, neither child acquiesced, they were so stubborn at least that hadn’t changed. 

“I-“ Kaeya began, wetting his lip slightly, tugging on his hair, he seemed nothing short of deranged, eye wide mouth pulled in a joyless hysteric smile. “You knew, ” he repeated again.  

“Kaeya-“ 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me- did you not trust me?” Diluc was furious and breathless, Kaeya seemed buried in his own head. 

“Of course I trusted you Diluc-“ 

“Were you just pretending the whole time?” Kaeya’s voice was hoarse, he looked up at Crepus, eyes like chipped ice. “Was I just a-“ 

“You where- are - my son, Kaeya.” Crepus snarled, why did both his children have to twist things in such ways? He loved them but they certainly liked to make things difficult. 

“And you- Diluc, of course I trusted you, but the truth was for Kaeya to tell, not me.” 

“I told him alright.” Kaeya barked out, he still sounded anywhere but present. “He tried to kill me.” 

“You are a spy .” 

“A good enough one that you never would have figured it out unless I told you.” 

Crepus was genuinely concerned that Diluc may slaughter Kaeya in front of him. 

“Then why!? Why even tell me, if you were such a good little spy!?” Diluc’s voice was condescending, hateful and seething. 

Crepus had a feeling he knew Kaeya’s answer, unfortunately Kaeya couldn’t stop provoking his brother. 

“I thought hmm- this is getting too easy now that good ‘ol dad is dead, let’s spice things up a bit and tell my big brother! See if that’s any fun-“ 

“You-“ 

“Sit down , you cumbersome children .” Crepus had officially reached limit to his patience, it had been waning all day- every time he had seen his beloved sons argue, his voice came out a threatening furious wip, icy cold and scolding. 

Both children went quiet, they turned to him as if surprised that he was there.

“You are both adults, yet you behave yourself like children.” Crepus knew his lip was curling in scorn and he didn’t much care to stop himself. “You consistently twist your words and provoke each other.” Further silence. “You mistreat each other and scorn everything I sought to build.” 

Diluc opened his mouth- probably to protest- Crepus silenced him with a scathing look. 

“You are my children, the most important things in my life and you can’t get along due to petty misunderstandings!?” 

“He is a spy.” Diluc argued, weakly. “That wasn't a misunderstanding.” Crepus had the feeling that Diluc meant his words as an insult against Kaeya but they had fallen quite flat. 

“It seems you two have lost the ability to communicate.” 

“Wow. You are actually pissed.” Kaeya had a short laugh, before it stifled itself in discomfort. 

Crepus inhaled deeply, steeling himself so he wouldn’t spit harmful irritable nonsense, he had one chance to get this right. 

His children, back in his time still got along, they bickered as siblings did but never to this degree and they made clear their care for each other. 

He remembers one time when Diluc had gotten mad at Kaeya because apparently ‘Kaeya got away with everything’ and Crepus was too lax. Diluc had yelled till he was red in the face, and Kaeya, nine at the time had burst into angry tears. 

Diluc had backtracked very quickly. 

Crepus still remembered with fondness how quickly Diluc’s expression had changed from rage to hopeless horror as he tried to console a sobbing Kaeya. He had then turned to Crepus, no doubt for help and Crepus had laughed in his face. 

“He’s your little brother Diluc, it is your words that hurt him. There’s nothing I can do.” 

Diluc had bitten his lip hard. “It’s just not far.” He had argued. “Doesn’t it matter!?” 

“Doesn’t what matter?” 

“How I feel!” Cheeks puffed out, an adorable red. “Of course it matters Diluc.” Crepus assured. “But yelling at your brother is never a way to fix anything, yelling at someone never fixes much.” 

Crepus blows air from between his teeth. He had gone about this all wrong. 

Present day Kaeya and Diluc may be different but they were still his children. 

“Diluc.” He begins, because Diluc is his oldest and Kaeya won’t argue over him while he’s talking and Diluc most certainly will. 

“I love you and I love Kaeya and that is never going to change.” Diluc seems vaguely put-off by his rapid change of pace, he was quite irate a moment before. “You have every right to feel betrayed, and saddened-“ Diluc sputtered, “you are allowed to be mad at Kaeya- furious even, you can be mad at family, but he is your brother. Always . Do you understand?” 

Crepus’s hands were around Diluc’s, bless be it that Diluc’s hands were still smaller than his, Crepus may have a meltdown if he couldn’t completely engulf both his sons, it made him feel as if he was protecting them, he hoped they felt safe. 

“Yes.” Diluc finally grunted, eyes anywhere but Crepus and Kaeya. 

Now for Kaeya. Crepus grabbed his younger son's hand, and yanked him over, his two boys bumped shoulders and looked mildly disgusted. 

They were so dramatic he loved them. 

“I’m sorry I never told you I knew that you were a spy, originally it was just a hypothesis, still mostly was, I had no solid confirmation.” He had simply noticed things that didn’t line up, not to mention Kaeya certainly looked foreign and many people from foreign nations tended to send spies to mondstadt. 

“But I took you in, as my son and that is what you are, also- you are an adult now Kaeya, I know I raised you with manners, please stop provoking your brother, I know it’s your way of showing how much he has hurt you but you both need to try for this to work out.” 

“Hurt me? He tried to kill me” Kaeya’s voice was incredulous. “He tried to kill me for confessing the truth- do you even know how hard that was!?” Kaeya twisted towards his brother, snarling. “I was scared to tell you for so long, it didn't matter that I had no plans to harm mondstadt, it didn't matter because I was foolish and worried you’d never look at me the same way.” 

Kaeya’s voice was borderline hysteric, Diluc seemed a bit stunned. “And I was right.” Kaeya breathed out a hoarse scoff. 

Crepus was ready to step in, but to his surprise Diluc did first. 

“You are not a spy anymore.” A statement, a bit of a question. Kaeya rolled his eye so hard Crepus was surprised it didn’t stick “What spy tells someone they’re a spy.” 

“Just answer the question.” 

“No, Diluc I’m not a spy anymore. Haven’t been in awhile.” 

“And you did not tell me until… until fathers death because you were - scared.” 

They were getting somewhere. Crepus leaned back slightly, watching a- forgive him he loved his son- constipated look, cross Diluc’s face. 

“Yes.” Kaeya seemed a bit intrigued, mouth still pulled into a frown however. 

Diuc’s eyes darted to Crepus, briefly, it was such a quick movement Crepus almost missed it.

“Then I suppose, I apologize. For my part in this misunderstanding.” 

Crepus loved Diluc, but he had not seen that coming. He was almost certain he’d have to wrestle an apology out of his son. Although he had been reminiscing mere moments ago on how Diluc always had a soft spot for when Kaeya was upset. 

Kaeya looked just as surprised. 

“Okay.” Kaeya agreed, he sounded strained. “I’m sorry too. I suppose my timing could have been better- when I told you about the whole- spy thing-“ 

“Grievous understatement.” There was a small quirk to Dilucs mouth when he said it and Kaeya laughed, his laughter sounded surprised. 

Crepus couldn’t help himself, he launched himself forward and pulled both of his boys into his arms. The relief he felt was palpable and he took humor at the fact that both his sons squeaked, surprised by his sudden attack. 

They could claim they were adults for however long they pleased, they would always be his sons. 

They were interrupted by a knock on the door, sighing loudly Crepus let Diluc go, his son padded to the door, he seemed looser, like the tension had bled from him. Crepus was relieved, his son would get early grey hairs if he stayed so stressed all the time. 

At the door was a blond- was that Jean? Little Jean!? 

Crepus turned to Kaeya “Is that Jean?” 

“Yep. The acting grandmaster.”

Diluc and Jean exchanged a few words, Jean looked deeply uncomfortable. 

“Good for her.” Crepus acknowledged, if Diluc had quit the knights he was glad Jean was the one to take his intended role; Kaeya had never wanted a leadership position. 

“Yeah, she works way too hard.” Kaeya sounded fond, well at least they were still friends. 

“Dad.” And that was Diluc not Kaeya, Crepus immediately shifted to concern. “Son?” 

“You have to leave tomorrow?” He sounded crushed, Kaeya was right- their earlier conversation about Diluc thinking he had time. Time that they didn’t have. 

“Is that what the knights said? The time displacement is fixed tomorrow?” Crepus questions instead. A muscle jumps in Diluc’s jaw. “Yes.” His voice is a whisper. “Mid-morning.” 

Crepus smiles slightly, even as he sees his son breaking all over again in front of him. 

His delusion pulses where it is hidden. 

Chapter Text

“We can save him.” Is the first thing out of Dilucs mouth after he forcibly pulls Kaeya off to the side. “I know exactly how he dies, and why.” Diluc is already running through plans in his head on how to prevent Crepus’s death when Kaeya grabs his arm. 

It’s a bit shocking, they haven’t been close in so long. 

“He doesn’t want us to do anything.” Kaeya’s voice is soft, pitying. 

Of course he knew Crepus would have to leave, of course he isn't surprised, having secret conversations behind Diluc’s back. Instead of raging at him as he so dearly wishes he could, Diluc manages to grit out a curt: “You asked him?” 

“If he wanted us to spoil his future and death? Yes.” 

“Why? Why doesn’t he want us to save him!?” It’s disjointed talking to Kaeya again, yet at the same time it feels so very right, their compromise is still fragile but it’s there.

 “He doesn’t want to risk one of us dying instead- apparently.” Kaeya’s tone is careful, Diluc doesn’t know why and he doesn’t care enough at this moment to prod. 

Diluc can’t find the words, he snarls instead, something rageful, disagreement. Strangely Kaeya seems to understand, slinging an arm across his shoulders amicably, he seems so blessedly unaffected sometimes. “I think he knows. Vaguely, how he dies.” It's a strange piece of horrible introspection.

 “How?” Diluc struggles not to shrug Kaeya’s arm off. 

“He has his delusion now, with him.” 

Diluc pales, he hadn't noticed that. Kaeya laughs, an incredulously cruel sound. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice , you were the one who used it for months.” 

Diluc doesn’t even rise to the easy bait, he’s to busy realizing his father has his own murder weapon in his pocket- the delusion tht killed him. 

“Why do you think he knows?” He barely manages to get the question out, Kaeya’s smart and Diluc has no doubt his hypothesis had to have come from somewhere logical. 

“I just have a feeling he does.” Kaeya shrugs. 

Kaeya has always had a special gift of giving lame explanations just to be difficult, it's strangely nostalgic, Diluc still remembers a time when both Crepus and he himself had practically ambushed Kaeya when he refused to give a detailed account of ‘how exactly he got mugged in front of the knights headquarters.’ 

Kaeya’s story had been so lackluster and Crepus had been worried someone was bullying him. Kaeya’s response had been “I just got mugged, it happens sometimes I guess.” Crepus and Diluc both nearly burst a blood vessel. 

“A feeling- that’s what you’re going off of.” Diluc didn’t even try to hide his skepticism. Kaeya opened his mouth, probably to respond with something snide when he is interrupted by the door opening. 

“Boys.” Crepus, apparently bored of waiting for them to finish their sidebar had reappeared, behind him was Adelinde, she looked distinctly amused. “Adelinde and I have finished catching up, I do hope your discussion was amiable.” 

“No one stabbed anyone.” Kaeya offered, Crepus shakes his head smiling slightly. “I’m glad you two are getting along.” 

Diluc really should learn to filter himself, he can’t help it. “Father. Do you know how you die?” 

Next to him Kaeya elbows him. Hard. 

Crepus’s smile falters, turning to something serious. “I wouldn’t know exactly how I die, I can only come up with guesses and I try not to think of those possibilities.” Diluc tries to ignore  his fathers hand reaching into a pocket, deftly, unconsciously, Diluc knows what’s there. 

He knows that particular Delusion well, it's a wicked thing, he had gotten along with it more than Crepus ever did. 

Diluc grabs Crepus’s wrist, halting his movement, Crepus meets his eyes, he seems startled and than sad. “Are you well?” Crepus asks and Diluc has a feeling he knows Diluc used this Delusion. 

Perhaps the delusion recognizes him and is whispering this into Crepus’s fingers. Scorching and heavy. Using the Delusion was like hiking out of a volcano, one slip up and you were burnt alive, skin blistering and heat intense, eyes watering and hands tired and cut on the dark sharp rocks. 

Crepus had grown tired, mouth dry yet bloody, hands trembling and cooked and Crepus had fallen. 

With Diluc the delusion hadn’t been quite so strenuous, perhaps it matched with him better, either way the delusion was still dangerous and said delusion was in his fathers pocket right now. 

“Let’s spend the rest of today together, we don’t have all the time in the world to worry about the future.” Kaeya looks pressed for time, they are pressed for time, Diluc supposes. 

“I have a late lunch if you care for it.” Adelinde has a hand on Kaeya’s shoulder, a solid agreement that she is backing Kaeya. She used to do this all the time when Diluc and Kaeya argued over something, she’d clearly agree with Kaeya (so what if Kaeya had more logical points- they were both children- what normal child had actual logic behind their arguments?) Adelinde of course would never verbally state her side but she’d pad a hand across Kaeya’s shoulder and raise a single eyebrow at Diluc. 

He used to find it infuriating, now he sighed. 

He and Crepus were in a strange position, tense as if waiting for some sort of fight, Diluc relaxed slightly, releasing his hold on his father.  “Fine, let’s have lunch.” Kaeya beamed, Adelinde gave what was close to a smile but more of a smirk and Crepus was successfully relaxing. 

“That sounds brilliant Adelinde, maybe we can eat outside? It’s such a nice day.” 

“Of course Master Crepus, I’ll pack a picnic blanket.” 

———

Diluc hadn’t had a picnic in a very long time. Kaeya was laughing at him as he decided to avert to the shade. “Aww come on Diluc, I’m sure you’d look great with a tan!” Kaeya is sitting in the sun, fluffy overcoat off of his shoulders, Crepus sits next to him. 

“Come over here Diluc.” He laughs “the sun feels nice, besides it's good for you.” 

“It’s not.” Diluc argues weakly.

“I was talking to Albedo and-“ 

“Who’s Albedo?” Crepus turns to Kaeya, easily distracted and curious by this new world. Diluc watches something in Kaeya’s eye glow. “He’s a really good friend, kinda stupid in a smart way.” Kaeya smiles fondly, “Offered to poison Diluc for me once.” 

“What!”

“What!?”  Both Diluc and Crepus trill at the same time, in different tones, Diluc isn’t really surprised, Crepus however is very surprised. 

“He was joking right?”

“No I don’t think so.” Kaeya answers musingly, Diluc’s inclined to agree with him, Albedo has always seemed a bit crazy. 

“And he’s a Knight!?” Crepus sounds appalled. 

“He wouldn’t without my permission- besides he was taking a more scientific approach- he had a few chemical compounds he wanted to try out.” 

“Kaeya what type of friends have you made!?” 

“Pretty and dangerous~ just like me~” Crepus snorts loudly in response, turning to Diluc, still wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. 

It’s such a little thing, but suddenly Diluc feels his throat close up- This . This has been a gift, seeing his father laugh, loud and boisterous, louder than anyone else in the room, making you smile in turn, so vibrant and full of love and laughter. 

The last time Diluc had seen his father had been after he had clamored out of the carriage, the man had been nothing but writhing pain and madness, bloody lips, begging for death. 

He’s glad for this moment, here, his father laughing at Kaeya, eyes crinkled shut, laughter ringing in the air, sun slanting on healthy skin- not that sickly pallor it had been- his fathers warmth is here. This is a gift, a new way to remember his father. 

Because sometimes Diluc still remembered his last moments clearer than the moments where Crepus had been alive, his death was so large- so traumatic- it overshadowed Diluc’s memories of Crepus being alive. 

But now, this is new, and fresh and recent and maybe when Diluc wakes up from a nightmare this will soothe him, this small, bright moment. 

“What about you Diluc? Any interesting friends?” 

“I don’t know if Diluc has any friends” 

“Oh?” Crepus’s laughter has left his face but it's still gentle and so full of care. “You shouldn’t isolate yourself, reach out to Jean again will you? You all got along swell when you were younger.” 

“She’d love that.” And that’s Kaeya, uncharacteristically kind, mouth curved in a very genuine smile. “I think she misses you, but you're both so awkward. Maybe try to not diss the Knights of Favonius and you can have an actual conversation that goes well, she works very hard as the grandmaster you know.” 

“I never meant to insult her work, just others.” He gives Kaeya a pointed glance, even though at this moment he is sincerely joking. Crepus tsks loudly “We are being kind to each other today boys.”

Kaeya laughs, honest to archons, throws his head back and laughs. “He was joking I think.” 

Dilucs mouth curls into a small smile in response. 

It really is a nice day. 

Chapter Text

They’re sitting on the couch were they are dozing off, Kaeya is sprawled across Crepus’s lap- he used to get cold a lot as a child, Crepus had remembered that, remarking on it and practically pulling his son onto his lap where he’d laid, running his hand through Kaeya’s hair. 

Kaeya had fallen asleep almost immediately. 

Diluc sat on his other side, watching him, leaning against his warm shoulder. 

He must have dozed off because he woke up to Crepus shifting slightly, eyes heavy. He hadn’t had a nightmare, he felt warm and secure against his fathers side. 

Crepus was straightening, Kaeya still draped across his lap, fast asleep, hair slipping down his face. 

“Oh I’m sorry.” Crepus rasped, “Did I wake you?” 

“No.” Diluc grunted, he eyed his father, on the surface Crepus seemed fine, just a bit tired, but Diluc could see something like fright in his eyes. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Yes, It’s just morning.” The ‘and I’ll have to leave soon’ went unsaid. 

The curtains had been pulled shut so it was still dark, Diluc could see the dark shine of his fathers eyes, and when he leaned close he could feel warmth, warmth that had just once been a phantom dream of what was once real, it was real here—now, briefly. 

He remembers the day clearly, the day that Crepus had died. When his eyes close sometimes he can still see it. 

“Father? Are you alright?” He had just turned eighteen, he was in the padded carriage across from Crepus, he had been so excited. 

“Yes.” Crepus had replied, blinking quickly, eyes training on Diluc again, crinkling with the love he always carried.

 “You just… zoned out for a moment.” Diluc remembers being worried, his father was probably just tired, but he couldn’t help but worry. 

The carriage had shook, throwing Diluc onto the side, his shoulder burst with pain that would surely bruise. 

“Diluc. Stay in here, no matter what happens, do you understand me?” His grip had been bruising, this moment etched in Diluc’s mind, his fathers last comprehensible words. When he wasn’t pleading for death.  

“Father where are you-“ the carriage shrieked to a stop, slamming Crepus to the side and flinging Diluc back onto his butt.

Crepus clamored out, Diluc saw something horrid outside. 

He screamed. 

After the fight, after the creature had vanished, Diluc stumbled forward, everything was numb. 

Diluc fell to his knees next to his father on the muddy ground. 

Wide hurt eyes, glittering fiercely with tears of pain, making them polished, fragmented gemstones. They stared at him softening incrementally, blood leaking from his mouth, seeping and meshing with red curled hair thick and syrupy and a dark horrible red, shaking white fingers. 

“Di-“ Crepus Ragvinder whispered, voice cutting away to blood. 

Bubbling from his mouth leaking down his face, and this was so wrong because Crepus was so strong, he was so, so strong he shouldn’t- this wasn’t right. 

He was the man who could wrap the whole world in his warm embrace, who held him like he was the world. Warmth and kindness and strength. Not this. 

 “Don’t talk,” Diluc whispered, his voice cracking, he had been screaming. 

He didn’t know when he had stopped screaming for help and just sat there staring at his father listening to him trying to say his name, and choking on it. 

“Just hang on.” 

“Please.” 

It was so quiet, trembling hands eyes pleading, Diluc shook his head pulling his father closer, he was such a large man in life- tall with easy charisma that Diluc lacked. Wide smiles and twinkling coffee colored eyes. 

“It hurts” his father rasped louder and pained.

 “Please, please please-“ his voice bubbled wet as more blood leaked from his lips and he choked, convulsing against Diluc’s grip. 

“No.” Diluc whispered against his hair. it smelled like him still, like his father. “No.” He had said again softer. because it hurt. Everything hurts, why?

 “Diluc!” Crepus was crazed when they met gazes again, glassy eyed full of pain and madness.

 It was a dagger, small, inconspicuous, more like a letter opener than a true weapon. “Please.” He said firmly, fighting back pain, and madness and all that dwelled within his faltering mind- all just for one plea for Diluc to please, please just- 

Crepus’s eyes were full of love, full of trust and understanding and apologies. 

It was a dagger. 

Crepus’s blood was a darker red than his hair; it coated everything around them, his flesh soft as butter against the bitter steel of the blade.

 His pale hands, larger than Diluc’s (he had still been so young) clutching Diluc’s one last time, 

Hands wrapped around Diluc’s like he could still protect him from the dark world they had been plunged into. Eyes relieved. 

He fell against Diluc’s chest, eyes closed coated in red. 

Diluc’s own pale slim fingers crimson stained and the ground around them a macabre tapestry. 

The sky broke and Celestia cried. 

 Rain was beating into the ground, the puddles of blood were diluting to lighter reds and faint pinks and yet the red on his hands stayed. 

The body in his arms grew cold and he couldn’t move- 

when he was younger he and Kaeya would wander around the forest near the winery, they liked to play games and explore. They were both to be knights of course, Diluc would be the Grand Master and Kaeya would be his right hand man. 

Together they were going to be incredible, that's what Crepus always said, wide smile and crows feet wrinkles stretching next to his eyes, a man who smiled often, so often that it was etched into his very skin. 

“You always take care of Kaeya and Kaeya will always take care of you.” Crepus would remind him.

 “I’m not going to be here forever and you and Kaeya need to watch out for each other when I’m not there anymore.” 

A thirteen year old Diluc had thought that was stupid, Crepus was so strong, of course he’d watch Kaeya but Crepus would watch them both forever and ever. 

Now, on his eighteenth birthday Diluc couldn’t move as the man whom he thought would be there forever grew cold in his desperate embrace.

“Are you scared?” Diluc’s voice was a raspy whisper, still reminiscing in  the bloody past- thinking of Crepus’s torturous future. Crepus didn’t deserve to die in such a horrifying and painful way. 

Crepus looked at his son with fierce affection. 

“Of course I’m scared.” The older man laughed softly, Kaeya was still asleep of course, so he tried his best to be quiet. “I’m terrified.” 

“Then why? We could help- change something, tell you something, so you won’t be completely in the dark-!” 

“My son, son -“ Crepus talked over him, not something he did often. “I would never dare try and change something and compromise the safety and health of my children.” Diluc furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“Right now, you two have a future, you’re both safe, alive and healthy, I would never meddle with a future like that.”

“But what about you?” Diluc sounded so very young. 

“I just hope I did my duty as a father well. You two certainly didn’t make it easy” Crepus chuckled fondly, probably thinking back to literally only a day ago when Diluc was just about ready to choke Kaeya out in front of him. “but I know it was worth it when I look at you- my grown sons.” 

“We were arguing like idiots.” 

“Take care of each other when I’m gone?” Crepus’s voice was soft but there was a firmness there. Diluc could hear the echo of his words from years ago: “You always take care of Kaeya and Kaeya will always take care of you.” Diluc agreed. Crepus smiled, probably remembering his own words, said back to him. 

“This may be the last time you see me, and this may be the oldest I’ll ever see you grow-“ Crepus’s voice was mourning “I so wish I could see you grow into splendid parents yourself.” 

“Dad- please .” Diluc’s voice cracked, right down the middle. Crepus stopped, inclining his head in  acknowledgment, a small smile dancing on his lips, eyes bright. 

“I’m so proud of you Diluc.” Simple words, genuine, and loving. 

“Do you have to leave?” He was bargaining now, Crepus smiled even as his eyes glittered, 

“I’m scared too. It's okay.” 

His hands trembled, Crepus did not want to die. 

And perhaps that's what made him the bravest man of all- his fear, he was terrified of death which is why his love for his sons was shown so vastly, he was ready to step back into his time and greet death as he was meant to. 

“I love you.” Diluc choked, clasping his hands around his fathers, they were smaller, paler, thinner, they seemed weaker than the large hands trembling in his grasp, but Crepus smiled like it meant the world to him. 

“Thank you.” Crepus murmured, eyes averted, steadying his breathing. 

“You were a great father.” Diluc spat out, it almost sounded like an insult, but as soon as he managed to work the damn out of his throat the rest of his words flooded out. 

“You where a great father- are still- seeing you again was a dream come true, and I know it was messy and Kaeya and I are stupid and I know you worry but you don’t have to- okay dad? You fixed everything, this future is a good one, I promise.” 

“Could you- could you say that? One more time?” Crepus’s voice was fragile, Diluc knew his father was strong, Crepus was strong- so very strong, he had a strength that transcended his very death, that steeled him and those around him- but Crepus was still human. 

“You are a great father.” Diluc reaffirmed, no doubt in his voice or mind, meeting his fathers eyes head on- let him never doubt that fact. A tear slipped from Crepus’s eyes, stark, down his cheek, quick. 

Diluc had seen his father cry before, it was always a quick thing. 

The tear tangled in his beard. 

And that’s when Crepus’s skin began to glow softly. “Wake up Kaeya.” Crepus instructed. “It looks like I’m leaving.” 

Diluc shook Kaeya gently, the man woke easily, eye slipping open, taking in the soft glow of Crepus. 

He seemed to understand everything in moments, eye widening, lurching upwards and closer to their father. 

“Dad-“ his voice cracked an exhale; desperate, he dug his hands into Crepus' shirt like it would make him stay.

Diluc had always thought Kaeya had been eerily composed this entire time, but now, seeing the death grip Kaeya had on Crepus’s shirt Diluc could see the truth. 

Kaeya had only held it together better than Diluc, he was no less a mess. 

“Kaeya.” Crepus smiled at him waveringly, Kaeya’s hands were tangled tightly in his shirt, white knuckled. “You knew I would have to leave from the start.” 

Kaeya made a choked noise, like he was dying, it was so very pained that Diluc felt it echo in his own soul, he shifted closer to Crepus as well, burrowing against his fathers side. For the last time. 

“You don’t have to.” Kaeya’s breaths were coming in painful rasps, like he couldn’t breath, like someone had taken all of the oxygen out of the air. “I’ve changed my mind, just let us tell you-“ 

Crepus put a heavy hand over Kaeya’s mouth. “No. No Kaeya. I’m sorry.” He did, seem sorry- so very sorry, he was staring at Kaeya as if he was memorizing his face so he would never forget what he looked like, so he would remember his son's faces until his last moments. Remember that they had grown and survived, reminding him what he was sacrificing himself for. 

This world seemed to have a gift for screwing kind people over. 

“Dad.” Diluc sobbed, he could see through Crepus’s left arm, just a faint blue outline now, shattering slowly like pieces of glass. 

“I know.” Crepus was crying now too, all of them— tears streaming down their faces as they drew closer to him he shook, his large frame seemingly fragile, Kaeya’s hands tight against him, Diluc trying to hide from the world in his shoulder. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Crepus chanted, like he was afraid they wouldn’t hear, like he was afraid they wouldn’t know. 

Diluc had never once in his life doubted Crepus’s love for him. That was simply who Crepus was, a father- one who loved with the entirety of his being, he made lame jokes just to see Diluc roll his eyes at him, and he coddled Kaeya way too much, practically letting Kaeya use him like a blanket. 

When Crepus’s wife had died Crepus had sat Diluc on his lap, he wasn’t crying, his eyes had been puffy and bloodshot, he smelled faintly of alcohol, he combed a hand through Diluc’s hair. “Loss is so much harder when you love someone with all of you.” 

He had curled an arm around Diluc pulling him closer, kissing his hair. “Find someone you love that much.” 

“Why?” Diluc had asked, because Crepus was a mess, Adelinde had told him to give Crepus space, she had curled her lip and said he was drunk and a mess and Diluc should really not go near him right now. 

“Loss is something that happens, and it hurts so much- sometimes you’ll feel like you’re the one dying.” He laughed ruthfully, Diluc could feel him shaking slightly. “But when you love someone it’s worth anything that happens afterwards. I’m so glad I met your mother.” Crepus assured. “I’m so glad I have you.” Crepus’s voice was soft, “I love you, so very much.” 

And now Diluc felt as if he was the one dying, something in his chest burned so cold it hurt, like watching his father go was wrenching pieces of him out with bloody pliers. 

Crepus was warmth, and safety, Crepus was their father and he wasn’t perfect but he was damn near close. 

They could change the outcome, they could save him, the words that could save Crepus burnt against his tongue. He wanted to. Archons he wanted to save his father he could, it was so close, this wouldn't have to be a goodbye if he could just spit out Crepus’s future. 

But Crepus had asked him not to. Because he loved his children. And Diluc may have died if he hadn’t. 

His greatest guilt coiled close to his chest, suffocating and tight sucking the air from his lungs, everything around him turned spotty and wet as his father died for him yet again. 

Crepus was dissolving now, rapidly dark blue shards, and starry flecks, like he was returning to celestia, Crepus’s eyes met his, warm and brown. 

“I love you.” Diluc cried out, desperate and Kaeya screamed , his hands clenching around empty air now, shards of blue escaping from his hands like sparks, his airtight grip gone as he clutched the cool air where the warm presence of their father had once been. 

Kaeya crumbled inward like someone had stabbed him in the stomach, a fetal position, trembling, heaving for air even Diluc couldn’t find. 

The oxygen was gone from the room as Kaeya choked loudly on tears and spit and Diluc suffocated, the cruel creature of guilt twisted around his lungs and grew thorns. 

His heart bled and his eyes wept. 

Everything spiraled, phantom warmth pressed against his shoulder like a goodbye. 

Where their father had been was only emptiness. 

Like he had never been there at all. 

——- 

Crepus turned to Diluc, young Diluc, his eighteenth birthday, inside a carriage. Diluc’s large eyes were on him. 

It was striking how much younger this eighteen year old looked compared to his future self. 

“Father? Are you alright?” 

“Yes.” Crepus assured. “You just… zoned out for a moment.” Diluc sounded worried, a cute little crease forming between his eyes. 

The carriage shuddered. 

Crepus knew, distantly what would happen. 

“Diluc. Stay in here, no matter what happens, do you understand me?” He gripped his sons hands, small- fiercely. 

His son would survive. 

“Father where are you-“ the carriage shrieked to a stop, slamming Crepus to the side and flinging Diluc back onto his butt, shoulder hitting the corner hard. 

Crepus kicked the carriage door open, delusion in hand. 

Behind him he heard Diluc scream. 

The creature in front of him was vast, and terrifying. 

“DAD” 

Diluc sounded hysterical. 

Diluc may hate him for this, may feel guilt for this- his relationship with Kaeya may fracture. He might live a dark, sad, sad life but he would survive. He would get a second chance. Crepus was a selfish, selfish man, he cared not for what happened, for how his death would splinter and split his children— because they were alive and he didn’t care as long as they were alive. 

Crepus had gotten his second chance, with his adult sons. 

‘You are a great father’ 

Kaeya begging him to stay, nails digging painfully against his chest. 

His heart beat in his ears, steady, he found in this moment he wasn’t afraid. Crepus was afraid of dying, as where most- but his worst fear was losing his sons and the future showed him he had not. 

So Crepus dug his heels in. 

And faced his death.

Chapter Text

Kaeya can’t breathe. 

Everything seems cold and empty and unnaturally quiet. 

Someone has scooped out his heart and left it empty. 

And he can’t breathe. 

Tears won’t stop coming, it’s almost hysteria, his chest aches and aches, and his lungs are constricted so tight he’s suffocating and he doesn’t even care. 

Kaeya doesn’t even know how long it’s been. Everything is empty and dark. 

——

When Adelinde comes in she opens the curtains, the bright light is blinding, dust dots the light it shines into the room. 

Kaeya has stopped crying ten minutes ago, eye dry sore and puffy, to exhausted to muster more tears, head pounding painfully, Diluc is staring off at a wall in front of him. 

“Drink this.” Adelinde kindly presses tea into Kaeya’s palms, he isn’t a tea drinker, not really but his throat is sore and dry and his eyes ache. 

“I’m okay Adelinde, really.” He gives her a smile even though he knows it is pathetic. His voice is hoarse and rough, he can barely hear it. 

She humors him, nodding, smile tight and mourning. “Of course Master Kaeya.” 

“I’m sorry you didn't get to say goodbye to him as well.” He feels so empty, fingers numb against the cup. 

“I loved Crepus, but his last moments were meant for family.” 

“You’re family Adelinde. You know that.” 

“As are you.” Adelinde smiles again and it's sad. Kaeya does not doubt that Adelinde loved their father, in her own strange Adelinde way. “Drink the tea, It’ll make your throat feel better.” 

He stares at it, its dark, seeped in leaves, a homey brown. 

He’s so tired. 

He can hear Adelinde unsuccessfully trying to get Diluc to drink some tea. She’s being uncharacteristically patient. 

He’ll never see Crepus again. 

The thought is crushing, he’ll never see the man, his father ever again. He is going to live the entire rest of his life without him, he’ll never see him smile again, laugh loudly or feel his warmth as he pulls Kaeya towards him. 

And if the archon's afterlife is true- if Celestia truly is a place, it’s a place Kaeya can never go. 

Sometimes the emptiness in his chest weighs way more than nothing should, it is heavy and pressing and his eyes want to water against its burden, but his eyes are dry. 

“Diluc.” He calls, and he makes his way over to the man- his brother. 

It’s unfair that every time Diluc looks in the mirror he can find a piece of Crepus, if he tries. 

Kaeya will never have that. 

Part of him wants to lash out- to hurt, because humans are cruel creatures and he doesn’t know what he can do besides gripe at the unfairness. 

Diluc has his hair, his skin, the same jaw and stubborn pout. 

Kaeya looks nothing like Crepus. 

He takes the tea from Adelinde, presses it to Diluc’s mouth, puts on a smile faker than even he can believe and tries to coax his brother into drinking. 

It’s annoying, distantly, something tells him that if he was any less numb he’d be irritated. 

Right now any emotion just seems too tiring to muster. 

He throws the tea cup to the ground near their feet. It shatters, loudly, brown spreading across the floor. 

It’s such a sudden movement, Adelinde startles, jumping back before pursing her lips in irritation. 

“I’ll clean that.” Kaeya soothes, as soon as he has the energy to anyways. 

“ Kaeya .” And that’s Diluc, something like exhaustion and reprimand in his tone, but he’s here- present, better than whatever empty fish eyed thing he was doing earlier. 

“You sound awful.” Is the first thing Kaeya says to him, hypocritical truthfully- he sounds just as bad. 

“Thanks.” Diluc snarks back, heavy lidded, he stands up then, straightening and taking shaky breaths. “I’m going out.” 

“You’re not.” 

“You can’t stop me.” 

“I can.” Kaeya snarls, “I can stop you, sit back down and drink your damn tea.” 

“You threw it.” And Diluc’s lip is curling and that’s at least something they all as a family had in common- their rage, easy to reach, curled lips and hard eyes. Crepus never got mad at his children- and he didn’t like to get mad in front of Diluc but Kaeya could see how much anger his father was capable of carrying in him. 

Kaeya rages cold, and not as often as he’d like to, sometimes he wonders if he’ll snap- crack down the middle and then into a million pieces like ice skating in early spring. 

“You’re not going out” Kaeya says again inhaling, keeping calm, smiling even-  it’s more condescending than anything. 

“It’s my duty-“ 

“It’s the knight's duty. Diluc. Not yours.” Kaeya already knows what he’s going to say, he’s said it so many times. 

“The Knights are inefficient .” 

They’re both standing now, Kaeya doesn’t know when that happened but they are, Diluc’s eyes are narrowed, sharp chips of red, they’re both wrecks. 

“You are going to respect Crepus’s second sacrifice for us and sit down. We are going to eat a family dinner- because that’s what he would have wanted are you really so selfish as to-“ 

“I need to go out-“ and Diluc’s eyes are shining, but what Kaeya had assumed was anger is simply grief- deep and raging, a turmoil that is tearing his brother apart. “I need to get out and fix something that I can fix, because if I don’t I-“ his voice breaks again slightly, he sounds so tired, almost as tired as Kaeya feels. 

“Alright.” He breaths. Relenting startlingly quick, he never had the energy for an argument in the first place. “It’s okay, you can go.” He can go do his Dark Knight Hero duties because clearly Diluc is clutching at straws and even Kaeya isn’t cruel enough to pull them away. 

“But be back for dinner, even if it’s a little late. We owe it to him.” 

Diluc agrees. 

Kaeya cleans up the broken glass near their feet. 

——-

“We’ve lost him before. I don’t think we should be sad again, he wouldn’t want us too.” Kaeya leans back on the chair, wine glass in hand. It's already his second glass. “It’s more of… a gift. We got to see our father- who's been dead for years again. We’re even talking.” 

His voice is smooth, coiled and controlled, like silk. Diluc does not understand his brother. 

“Aren’t you… sad?” He starts off awkwardly, he picks at the plate in front of him, avoiding Kaeya’s sharp gaze. 

“Are you?” 

“Of course.” Diluc hisses, offended. 

“Then why wouldn’t I be?” Kaeya’s tone is deceptively light, it occurs to Diluc that he may have offended the man. 

Crepus was also Kaeya’s father. Of course he’s sad. 

“Right. Sorry.” 

Kaeya looks genuinely thrown off by his apology and then pleased, staring into his wine glass with something Diluc is tempted to label as fond. 

“I think I’ll always miss him a little, it’s nothing new.” Kaeya isn’t looking at him but his voice is clear and firm. “We were just lucky we got to see him again, lots of people aren’t as lucky. We got to say goodbye Diluc.” And now he’s turning to Diluc, eye wide and bright, “I didn’t get to say goodbye the first time.” 

Goodbye. They got to say goodbye. Diluc hadn’t been able to say goodbye the first time either. 

This time- this second chance- they had held each other together and cried. Catharsis in a way. 

They knew their father was dead, he had been for many years, the man that visited them was long dead and that was no surprise, they had years to grieve and of course they would always have a sense of loss but, as strange as it was— they didn’t need to grieve again. 

Kaeya was… right. 

“You’re right. I suppose.” Begrudging, and a bit annoyed, Kaeya’s laughter was very real however. 

“I never thought I’d ever hear you say that!” And that’s pure delight in his voice. Diluc isn’t even that annoyed. “Thank you, Kaeya.” 

When Kaeya smiles it’s genuine, and a little watery. 

It’s moments like these where Diluc sees Crepus. 

“You look like him, sometimes. You know?” 

“Nonsense. We aren’t even related.” Airily, like he won’t even spare it a thought. “You do, sometimes you’ll do something and it will remind me.” 

“Well you have his jaw and his pout.”

Diluc pouts, Kaeya laughs. “Exactly that!” 

Their laughter dies down slightly, Kaeya’s smile vanishes and he just looks blatantly sad. “All things said, I still feel really sh*tty.” It’s the closest thing Diluc has to admittance- to Kaeya showing how much this event has wrecked him, right along with Diluc. 

“You’ll feel worse tomorrow.” Diluc says, Kaeya pauses confused. “That amount of wine is bound to have an effect.” 

“That's where you’re wrong!” Kaeya takes Diluc’s evasion, he’s never liked being very expressive- it sounds contrary he’s always smiling, smirking, laughing- But Kaeya doesn’t truly emote himself often and Diluc knows it makes him feel much too vulnerable. 

So even just the small confession, on how he was truly feeling- it’s a gift. Both brothers are a mess, Diluc will be the first to admit it. 

“If I just keep drinking it’ll numb the-“ 

“No.” Diluc scoffs, “is this how you’ve been living!?” 

“Well I certainly didn’t miss this .” Kaeya sasses, eyebrow drawn up in pantomime horror. 

They’re cruel to each other the rest of the dinner, Kaeya laments Diluc’s drama and stupidity and Diluc points out his unhealthy alcohol obsession and slacking. 

Kaeya helps clear the plates, smiling softly with Adelinde, they trade soft words. Diluc fights off jealousy- of course Adelinde is happy to see Kaeya he hasn’t stopped by for years. 

Before Diluc can fully process, mind still fogged with etches of grief Kaeya is grabbing his coat and fur and pulling it over his shoulders, he’s kissing Adelinde on the cheek, a sweet gesture Diluc knows hasn’t been done since Kaeya was ten. 

And suddenly Diluc realizes he doesn't want Kaeya to leave. 

He doesn’t want Kaeya to leave.

He wants Kaeya to stay; not because that is what his father would have wanted, not because he feels he owes Kaeya or Crepus anything, or because he’s guilty but because he genuinely wants Kaeya to stay. 

Because he missed his brother, having dinner with him again had reminded him of those first months after he had kicked him out, every morning felt meaningless and much too quiet.  

So he’s talking before he can even fully process why. 

“Would you like to have dinner together tomorrow?” He asks, it's a hasty rush, and even he sounds surprised. 

Kaeya turns to him, a wry grin stretching across his face. 

“Okay.” He says, and his words are soft, almost hesitant. “I’ll try my best not to be too late.” 

“I can wait.” Diluc cuts in. 

“I won’t be late.” Kaeya resolves, something soft and warm soothes the prickly creature that had reigned control of him the entire day. 

Kaeya waves, closing the door softly behind him, Adelinde is smiling rubbing at the corner of her eyes. 

Diluc closes his eyes and breaths. He’s tired, but it's not the aching horrible tiredness he has felt for years, it’s tiredness that promises after rest it will recede. 

“Goodnight Adelinde.” 

“Goodnight Master Diluc.” Fondness dancing in her tone. 

——-

For the first time in seven years Diluc sleeps peacefully.