Chapter Text
After Severus and Lily vacated their first compartment, it proved to be rather difficult to find seats elsewhere. Most were occupied, or belonged to the Prefects. Finally, near the end of the train, they found one with only one occupant.
"Let's try here," Lily suggested.
Severus nodded, wordlessly. There were only two others they hadn't searched, and if those were occupied, they might have to resort to sitting in the corridors of the train until the trip ended. It wasn't how Severus had envisioned spending his first train ride to Hogwarts, not by a long shot.
On the other hand, nothing about this trip had gone according to his plan. If only Petunia hadn't been such a prat, or Black and Potter hadn't been there...
"Mind if we join you?" Severus asked the occupant, whose head was behind a copy of "The Standard Book of Spells, Year 1."
The boy lowered the book to reveal brown hair and a slight scar on an otherwise ordinary face. He gave them a small smile. "Sure, go ahead."
After they put their luggage on the overhead bins, Severus saw the boy (already dressed in his Hogwarts robes) had stood up and had his hand extended.
"I'm Remus Lupin," he said, his voice soft, but easy enough to understand.
"I'm Lily Evans," Lily answered with a smile, taking it.
"Severus Snape," Severus replied, also shaking Lupin's hand.
They sat down, and Severus expected him to return to his book, but he didn't.
"Are-are you first years as well?" he wondered.
They both nodded. "We're neighbors," Severus said, by way of explanation.
Well, it was sort of true. They lived close enough to walk to each other's houses. Not that Lily did much of that. She had the sense to stay away, after meeting Tobias Snape. Severus hid a shudder at the memory. His father hadn't hit Lily, but he might as well have.
Lily didn't give Severus a look, only nodded before addressing Lupin. "Yes, Sev explained all about how I was a witch. Told me how when I was eleven, I'd get my acceptance letter to Hogwarts."
Lupin's face showed interest, and perhaps, a bit of respect for Severus? He couldn't tell.
"You're from a muggle family, then?" he asked.
The tone wasn't accusing or condescending, but Severus had to resist the urge to make his hands into fists. "It doesn't matter that she is," he said, a bit more fiercely than necessary.
Judging by Lupin's look of surprise.
"No, of course not!" he said quickly. "I'm half-blood, myself. My mum's a muggle."
"A muggle?" Severus echoed, sure his disbelief showed.
Lupin actually smiled. "Yeah. Dad met her when she was half scared to death by a Bogart. She received a pretty quick introduction to magic, then."
Severus couldn't help but laugh. Lily, on the other hand, looked perplexed.
"What's a Bogart?" she asked, turning from Severus to Lupin.
Lupin had the decorum to let him explain.
"It's a dark magical creature that lives in places like cupboards, chests, grandfather clocks, that sort of thing. When they see a human, magical or not, they take on the shape of the creature that they most fear," Severus explained. "Fortunately, they're easily enough to kill, as long as you know the spell and keep your wits about you."
Lily shuddered. "That's awful! I hope we don't encounter them."
"My dad says that the Prefects usually search them out and get rid of them," Lupin reassured her. "The only time you're likely to encounter one is in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but that won't be for at least a couple of years."
Severus wondered what form his bogart would take. His own father, probably.
They spoke a bit more about what they hoped to learn when lessons started, and what was likely to be their favorite class. Lily said that she'd read over all of her textbooks twice, but the Charms one three times.
"I think that will be my favorite class," she said, happily. "But Sev thinks he'll enjoy Potions the most."
Severus shrugged. "My mum's taught me a lot about them. She won all sorts of prizes when she went here."
"Did your dad have any favorite classes?" Lupin asked.
"He's a muggle," Severus explained, more stiffly than was strictly necessary. Then, he added, "My mum didn't tell him she was a witch until they'd gotten engaged. He didn't leave her, though he hates magic."
Lupin looked pained. "That's awful, Severus. I'm sorry."
Lupin--Remus, now--sounded sincere. And he probably was. Like Severus, he came from a family with one magical relative (probably a pure-blood, by the sound of it) and one muggle. Except, unlike him, the muggle relative hated hated everything about the magical world. Remus' mum might not have died from fright, but she must have felt a sense of loyalty to his dad for having saved her from the Bogart. And, as far as Severus knew, nothing like that had happened between his parents.
Severus shrugged. "Well, I'll be at school most of the year. Doesn't matter what he thinks, really."
There was an awkward silence, and Lily broke it by asking Remus what classes he was interested in.
"Transfiguration sounds hard, but really useful. I'd like to learn more about fighting the Dark Arts as well," he said. "The way Dad talks, everything looks really interesting." With a grin, he added, "I also read over my textbooks before coming here."
Severus had as well. During the last month, when he hadn't been with Lily, it had been all he'd done. Of course, he knew most of what his Potions book had said, so he'd put more time into learning spells. Specifically, hexes. He knew that the Decree meant he couldn't use magic outside of class, but he also knew that there was no way to separate underage magic from magic used by a magical parent. His mum had told him so. She'd even bought him an unregistered wand, just in case something happened to his real wand.
Tobias Prince wouldn't hurt be able to hurt her after his first year was over. Severus would make sure of that.
After the cart of sweets came around--the three pooled their pocket money and managed to buy one of most of the sweets there--the topic of houses came up. Severus felt himself flinch when Remus mentioned it, and Lily rolled her eyes.
"Oh, not this again!" she complained, although it was half-hearted.
Remus looked perplexed. "Why not? Don't you want to guess where you'll end up?"
Lily turned to Severus, exasperation on her face. "This one--" She pointed unnecessarily to him. "--Wants me in Slytherin. The last compartment we were in, two boys heard him talking and one of them started on about how Gryffindor was loads better because his dad was there. Sev said that brains was better than brawn, and before he could hex someone, we left."
Even though Lily had rather made Severus out to be at least partially guilty, he was a little pleased that she had also implied that he could hex Black and Potter.
Remus chuckled, then covered his mouth. "Sorry," he apologized, sounding sincere enough. "Dad says house rivalry is as old as Hogwarts. Pretty much the only house that no one really minds is Ravenclaw, but everyone except Hufflepuff dismisses them." He shrugged. "I expect that there are decent people in every house."
"And not so decent, if I end up with Black and Potter," Lily pointed out.
"Well," Severus said, after a pause, "maybe. I still want to be in Slytherin, though."
Although, as Remus had pointed out, Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad.
Maybe.
Looking at Lily, he thought that if she ended up in Hufflepuff, even that might not be too terrible.
Chapter Text
The rest of the train ride passed quickly enough. Lily excused herself to change into her robes when they heard an announcement that they were nearing the Hogsmeade station, and were expected to arrive in uniform. Severus and Remus were, of course, already in their school uniforms, so they remained seated in their compartment. Severus privately wondered if Remus sometimes wore muggle clothes, or if he was one of those wizards who only wore wizarding robes.
He knew that most young witches and wizards from wizarding families wore only robes. It was another mark of distinction between them and the muggle world. All the same, with Remus also being a half-blood, his parents might not adhere to this.
Not that Severus was particularly interested in what his fellow first year wore before his acceptance letter came.
More for something to say, to avoid an awkward silence until Lily returned, he asked, "Where'd you go to school before you got your acceptance letter?"
Remus looked at the floor, briefly, before turning his gaze back at Severus. "My parents taught me at home. You?"
"The same," Severus answered, with a smile he didn't feel.
Well, his mum had done most of the teaching. His father, he knew, hadn't finished muggle school. Given the way Petunia had reacted to seeing his clothes, it had probably been a good thing that Severus had never had to go to a muggle school. They likely would have tormented him, and he'd had enough of that at home.
Remus didn't say anything else, so in order to fill the time, Severus spoke again.
"Do you have any siblings?"
Remus shook his head. "Do you?"
"No, it's just me."
And given how often his parents fought, he'd wondered more than once how they'd been intimate enough for him to have come into existence. The thought had often made him flush.
"I often wanted a brother or sister," Remus continued.
Severus raised his eyebrows. "Older or younger?"
"Either. Sometimes, both," Remus added, with a laugh. "How about you?"
"I...don't know, really," Severus admitted. Then, he continued, "Might have been nice to have someone to play with."
Of course, a brother or sister would have meant someone else for his father to be awful to. Beat, too, although he might have spared the rod (or belt, rather) in the case of a girl. He hadn't cared a whit about hitting his son, but Severus noticed that men could be odd about not hitting girls.
Then again, he'd certainly let his mum have it, so maybe it wouldn't have mattered.
To his relief, Lily returned then, wearing the black school robes that covered her from neck to just above the feet. Oddly enough, they seemed to suit her. Certainly better than his mum, from what he'd seen in school pictures. Her long red hair, maybe, and her excited expression.
Severus gave her an encouraging smile, and Lily grinned back.
"We're to wear these all the time, right? Even when we don't have lessons?” she asked, taking her seat next to Severus.
"Some of us have different colored robes for the weekends, but we’re expected to wear our uniforms to lessons,” Remus answered. "They'll tell us buy dress robes in a few years, but you won't have to worry about that for awhile."
Severus had known this, and he also knew that his mum was starting to save now for them. It was one thing to wear shirts out of her old clothes, but he couldn't wear her old robes. People would notice, would stare.
They both knew that.
Another message came on that they had reached Hogsmeade, and the three of them vacated their compartment. A very large man (had he been the victim of some dark curse?) called that they would be going across the lake by boat, and there should be no more than four to a boat. Severus stuck close to Remus and Lily, and another boy joined them. He was short, a bit overweight, and with a rather pinched face. He gave them a small smile and a "hello" which they returned.
The boats, thankfully, didn't need Severus or any of the students' help, so they could enjoy the journey in peace. His mum had told him that this would be their only year traveling to the castle like this. For the other six, they'd ride in carriages pulled by Thestrals, but you could only see the animals if you'd seen someone die. To everyone else, they appeared invisible.
Severus was relieved that neither Black nor Potter were visible from his line of sight, and a mean thought entered his mind that, perhaps, they'd fallen into the lake. But no, they were there when their year reached the castle, even if they weren't anywhere near him.
Professor McGonagall, who Severus had never met but seen pictures of, gave a short address about how they would participate in the Sorting. Severus already knew all about this, but he was surprised at just how many students didn't, based on their whispers afterwards. Were they all muggle born? Or, was this something that happened in more wizarding families-parents not telling their children about the ceremony, wanting them to go in blind? He felt a spark of gratitude that his mother had prepared him for this, and probably, other parts of the school that his classmates wouldn't know.
He didn't agree with a lot of muggle sayings, but the one that "knowledge is power" came to mind, and it felt very appropriate. The more he came into school knowing, the better off he was. Especially with a horrible father and a less than ideal magical background. Really, his father could be used as a cautionary example for why witches and wizards shouldn't marry outside of wizarding families. Or, at least, only marry another witch or wizard.
They lined up, but it didn't really matter, because the Sorting would be by your last name. Which meant, Severus realized with a start, that he would be nearly the last of his class. He loathed the idea of waiting for fifty or so other students to be sorted ahead of him, although it did mean that Lily, Remus, Black, and Potter would all be ahead of him. He'd know what to expect, and if Lily didn't make Slytherin or Ravenclaw, he could-perhaps-petition the Hat to put him where she was.
What if Potter and Black ended up in Slytherin? Black was likely to be there, if he hadn't been lying about all of his family ending up there. It would serve Potter right, too, if he was sorted there...probably not, though. If it was true that the Hat put you more or less where you wanted to be. No, Potter would end up in Gryffindor.
Severus kept his full attention on the ceremony as his classmates stepped forward and were sorted. Sometimes, the hat knew right away. Other times, it look a little longer. Black was among the first, and the hat seemed to take ages with him. When he left to sit at the Gryffindor table, Severus noted that there were a few faces at Slytherin who looked positively furious. Relatives, maybe. They had the matching dark hair.
He decided, then, that if Lily and Remus ended up in the same house, even if it was Gryffindor, he'd ask to go there. Even if it meant sharing a room with someone who'd called him Snivellus. He'd survived eleven years with his father, and he could fight back if Black tried to hex him. Right. It was settled, then.
Lily Evans went to Gryffindor without much delay, and then there were at least twenty students before it was Remus Lupin's turn. Also, Gryffindor. Severus stood up a bit straighter, squaring his shoulders. All right. This was it, then.
He almost changed his mind when Potter went to Gryffindor, but no, he would stay resolute. Remus was more or less his friend, Lily was his closest friend, and there were bound to be other male Gryffindors his year. In fact, he was fairly certain that the boy he'd shared a boat with was the same Peter Pettigrew who went to Gryffindor. There would be others in his house.
Besides, even if he went to Slytherin, Potter and Black might still find ways to torment him. Another muggle saying came to mind-keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
If Black and Potter were destined to become his enemies-and he wasn't entirely sure he believed in destiny-then it made sense to know where they were at all times.
When his name was called, it took all of his resolve and self-control to walk slowly, confidently, to the chair where the hat was placed. He held it in his hand for a second, taking a moment to examine it before putting it on his head. It was very patched and faded, and if it wasn't the thing that determined where students would live for seven years at Hogwarts, Severus suspected that the upper end witches and wizards would balk before putting it on their heads.
I want to be in Gryffindor, he told the hat.
Gryffindor, eh? Are you sure? I see a great deal of ambition in you.
Yes. Gryffindor, Severus insisted.
Well, the hat mused, you certainly are brave. Courageous, even, from what I can see in your childhood.
Severus wanted to take the hat off and throw it, but he'd never live that down.
I see loyalty, as well. Perhaps, you'd do well in Hufflepuff...
No. You just said I was brave. I want to go to Gryffindor.
Not a bad mind, either...well, all right, if you're certain..."GRYFFINDOR!"
The hat nearly shouted the last word, and Severus felt a wave of relief, accompanied by fear, as he made himself remove the hat calmly and turn to walk to the Gryffindor table.
Black and Potter, he noted with amusement, stared at him with open mouths. It was all he could do not to tell them they'd catch flies like that.
They regained their composure quickly enough. Black even moved to make room for him...or perhaps, he was moving away from him. Had he not been seated next to Lily, Severus would have taken a seat far away from him.
And Potter, who was sitting on the other side of him.
Remus was directly across from Severus, and gave him a grin. Lily threw her arms around him.
"Oh, Sev, I'm so glad we ended up in the same house after all!" she grinned.
Severus grinned back. All right, so he was a lion now.
He could do far worse than be in a house known for bravery and honor. He could be a useless badger, after all.
Now, if he could just stay out of Black and Potter's way for the next seven years, he'd be all right.
Notes:
If you're so inclined to check out my non-Snape centered work, I'm in the process of writing some other Harry and Sirius centered works. In "Harry's Adoption," Sirius Black never goes to Azkaban and received custody of him just before Harry turns five. Remus also lives with them as an uncle figure, but it is not a Remus/Sirius fic. In "Harry Potter and the Survival of Sirius Black," Sirius does not fall through the veil in the fifth book, and his survival means he's acquitted and allowed to take over guardianship of Harry.
Next up in THIS fic:
Severus privately deals with the potential aftermath of his rather rash decision, and tries to enjoy the Feast.
Continued feedback would be greatly appreciated! :)
Chapter Text
Severus' mother had told him about the excellent food at Hogwarts, but nothing she'd said could quite prepare him for the feast. Certainly not how many different dishes were available, nor how the food on the platters seemed to refill as soon as it started to become low. He knew that house elves had prepared the feast, and they were invisible servants who existed to meet the every need of a witch or wizard. Most belonged to rich families, but Hogwarts housed over one hundred. He'd once wondered how a school could need so many, but upon looking at the vast amounts of food available, he could see why. Besides, this was only a small amount of the work that had to be done. Severus would not have to wash his own clothes or even make up his own bed. There would be no floor mopping or dusting, or dishes to clean after the meal. Everything would be performed by house elves, while he would only have to worry about going to class, getting good grades, and hopefully, making friends.
All the same, as Severus helped himself to the food, he was careful to observe what his new housemates were doing. His mother had warned him against taking too much at once, because this was considered poor form in the Slytherin House. No matter how often you went without meals, you should always start with a modest portion, and not gulp it all down at once. She admitted that taking large bites was more looked down upon if you were a female, but even boys like Severus should mind their manners. She'd instilled these lessons into him.
Except, Severus was not in Slytherin, and there might be a new code of conduct among the Gryffindors. Surely, if gulping down your food, as though you hadn't eaten in weeks, was the right form for people like Potter or Black or Lupin, he should imitate what they were doing. With that in mind, he observed them, and saw that they were taking generous helpings, but not excessive. They filled their plates to the brim, but didn't pour food on top of what was already there. They also ate hungrily, although he thought it was more like they appreciated a good meal than they were making up for going a few days without.
Well, Potter and Black could hardly be considered overweight, but one look at them and he doubted that they'd ever missed a meal in their lives. Remus, on the other hand, did look rather pale and thin, even if he was smiling as he ate.
He copied their style of eating as best as he could, and since no one said anything, Severus figured he'd done well enough. After several moments, he allowed himself to relax enough to enjoy what he was eating. Some of the foods were ones he'd never seen before, but everything was delicious. When Black and Potter helped themselves to seconds, followed by Remus and a few of the girls, he did the same. He was, after all, still hungry.
"Don't forget to save room for dessert," one of the older girls warned them, but she was smiling.
"All right, we'll hold off on thirds," Potter answered, with a grin.
"Speak for yourself!" Black shot back, elbowing Potter, and causing him to lose aim of his fork and nearly stab himself in the face. "Blimey, mate, you nearly killed me!"
"Sorry!" Potter laughed.
The two of them cast Severus glances throughout the meal, but they weren't glaring at him. All the same, they didn't speak to them, even as the topic of houses came up, and who had expected to go where.
"I thought I was destined for Hufflepuff," a boy who'd introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew said. "Can't believe I'm here!"
"Better Hufflepuff than Slytherin," Potter said, with a look in Severus' direction.
Not an entirely unfriendly look, or perhaps, he was just imagining it.
"They're not all likely followers of You-Know-Who," the same girl who'd warned them about dessert retorted, and she wasn't smiling. "Both of my sisters are there, and they're still decent."
"Who's You-Know-Who?" Lily asked, looking at Severus, who shrugged.
Sure, he knew loads about Hogwarts and spells, but not so much about wizarding politics. Or whoever this person You-Know-Who was. His mum hadn't exactly been welcome in the wizarding world after marrying his father, or so she'd told him.
"He's a very dark wizard," another older student, a blonde with a long braid down her back, explained in a hushed voice. "Says he descended from Salazar Slytherin himself, and wants to 'purify' the wizarding world of people who don't come from wizarding families. He's already gone after some of the dark creatures for their support, which is rubbish, because if he takes over, they'll be among the first he'll destroy."
"Merlin," Black muttered.
"Point is, there are some perfectly decent Slytherins," the same girl explained. "And you can hardly decry an entire house simply because a few people come from families who support him."
Black, for some reason, looked uncomfortable.
The rest of the feast went smoothly enough. Desserts arrived shortly, and Severus helped himself to a few chocolate eclairs and a few scoops of strawberry ice cream. Potter and Lily, he noticed, were both enjoying ample helpings of treacle tart. He vaguely wondered what was happening at the Slytherin table. Had he been there, would they be talking about pure-blood politics, or just enjoying the good food?
Even as Severus enjoyed his dessert, there was a not so small part of him had begun to worry about what would happen upon retiring to the Gryffindor dormitory. His mother had caustioned him that the students all shared a large room with the students of their gender belonging to their year. This was the policy regardless of house, and even regardless of student status. His mother, having been a Prefect for her last three years, had still been expected to room with the Slytherin females of her year. Even the Head Boy and Head Girl didn't have their own rooms. Before long, Severus would have to go to the Gryffindor tower, then the common room, and then to the bedroom. He'd see James Potter and Sirius Black face to face without the benefit of half a table of food between them, plus other students. Would they be cruel to him? Ignore him, perhaps? It seemed too much to hope that they would let bygones be bygones, now that they were in the same house.
Perhaps, arguing about houses and creating ridiculous and cruel nicknames disappeared once you had been sorted, and once you were all in the same house. Hadn't McGonagall said something about your house being your family?
A lot of good that did Severus, given his father, but most kids probably didn't grow up with near daily beatings.
Which reminded him...he better not let any of his roommates see him without all of his clothes on. They'd ask questions he wasn't about to give them answers to.
Lily had guessed, the one time she'd put an arm around his back, and he'd flinched away. Not simply because he hadn't been used to her touch, but because it had been the day after a particularly bad beating.
He hadn't done anything to deserve it, aside from exist when his father had had too much to drink.
They'd talked about it, and she'd told him that decent parents didn't do that. The occasional spanking, perhaps, although her own parents never did that. (Severus privately felt that Petunia should have gotten one. Or several.) But hitting kids to the point of drawing blood? With a belt? Lily had said that there were laws against that.
Severus didn't know if such laws existed in the Wizarding World, and Tobias Snape certainly wouldn't be held accountable there, not being a wizard. And he couldn't exactly ring the police on his father. Not when his mother-he was fairly sure-went through similar, maybe even worse, treatment. No, he'd just had to stay out of Tobias Snape's way as much as he could.
Once they were finally allowed to leave, Severus felt rather sluggish as he followed the Prefects through the castle and into the Gryffindor tower. Like Slytherin, there was a password, and it was regularly changed, so the students would have to keep track with the new ones as they were posted. He knew that Ravenclaw students needed to answer a riddle, and of course, Slytherin students also had a password. He couldn't recall offhand what Hufflepuff students had to do...it was late, and while he knew the information was there, he couldn't easily retrieve it.
Black and Potter didn't seem to be paying him and Remus much attention when they entered the tower, probably too busy looking around. He touched Lily's hand briefly to say goodnight, and she gave him a sleepy smile and a soft, "Night, Sev." Then, a male prefect led him, Remus, Pettigrew, Black, and Potter to their dormitory, and he assumed that a female was doing the same for Lily and her roommates. He wondered, briefly, about his trunk, but it was at the foot of his bed when he entered the room.
It was a large room, too, easily the size of their entire downstairs. There was ample space between the beds, and the beds were the four poster kind with red and gold curtains you could pull on to have some sense of privacy. He quickly chose the one closest to the door, then opened his trunk and grabbed a set of his sleeping attire before heading into bed.
Black and Potter grabbed their garb and headed into another room-probably the bathroom-with Pettigrew tailing behind them. Remus looked like he might follow, then turned to Severus.
"Er, are you coming?"
Severus shook his head. "No, I'd prefer to change here."
Remus gave him a smile. "Well, all right, then. See you in a bit?"
He nodded. "Well, perhaps. I, er, reckon I might be asleep by the time you get back."
Remus, chuckling a bit, nodded. "I know what you mean, Severus. Good night."
"Good night, Remus."
He pulled the curtains closed, and changed out of his robes and into his sleeping gown as quickly as possible. Then, he opened the curtain to deposit the robe on top of his chest of clothes. The others were still gone.
Severus realized he should probably brush his teeth...but he was too tired to care, and one day was unlikely to do any long-term damage.
He pulled the blankets and sheets away from the bed and crept inside before pulling them back over him. They felt softer and warmer than anything he'd ever slept under, and within moments, he was fast asleep.
Notes:
I should warn you that I don't usually post this frequently--I aim for an update of any of my Harry Potter fics once a week--but I've been inspired to work on this fic and currently have eight chapters in various forms of completion, so I'd rather not stagger them TOO much. At the rate I'm writing, if I did one update a week, I could be on chapter twenty by the time I would post chapter three. Maybe...
That being said, my policy for updating this fic will remain the same for my others: I want to have at least one chapter written ahead of the one I'm posting, and a good idea of what will happen afterwards, before I update again. At this point, the writing process is going rather well, but I expect I'll run into some writer's block at SOME point.
Next up:
The meeting between Severus, James, and Sirius. But will be it a confrontation?
As always, feedback would be much appreciated, especially since this is my first time writing Severus Snape (well, the child version) as the narrator.
Chapter Text
Severus awoke to none of the familiar sounds or smells he'd heard his entire life, and felt disoriented. He could not detect his mother making breakfast, nor the stomping around of his father, nor the usual sounds of fighting. There was only silence.
Then, he recalled the events of the previous day. With a jolt, he realized he was at Hogwarts-finally-and, due to his own stubbornness and rash request from the Sorting Hat, had ended up in Gryffindor.
He tried not to groan aloud.
Severus Snape, not in Slytherin. Not in the house of his mother, of most of his mother's family. Not that the latter had really mattered, as they had disinherited her when she had married Tobias Snape. Still. He cared what she thought about him, and wanted her to be proud of him. There was no doubt in his mind that she wouldn't be happy to learn that he wasn't in Slytherin, but in Gryffindor. Ravenclaw might have been acceptable, if not disappointing, but Gryffindor? The house of brawn, of rashness?
What had he been thinking, telling the hat to place him there?
Of course, Severus reasoned, she might simply be relieved that he hadn't been sorted into Hufflepuff, although Severus thought that he might have followed Lily there, if it had come down to it.
He'd have to send her an owl within the next few days. Severus knew he could get away with waiting a day or so, since he didn't have an owl, and classes would begin right away, which would limit his ability to write to her. She knew that there was an owlery, of course, for students without owls, but he didn't know where it was. Not that Severus knew where anything was in this castle.
Well, he would hardly be the only student with that problem, and certainly hardly the first year. Come to think of it, Lily didn't have one, and she would want to send word home. Her parents didn't know about the houses, but they would want to know that she'd arrived safely.
They could make plans to go together, then. Lily would like that.
Severus rose, then pulled away the curtains to leave his bed and retrieve his toiletries and school robes. His mouth had an unpleasant taste from foregoing brushing the previous evening, and he could change in the bathroom before anyone else arrived.
The bathroom was large, with five stalls and as many showers that included a tub. He should probably bathe before class...
To his surprise, there was actually shampoo and something called "conditioner" already in the shower stall. Provided by the house elves, no doubt. He and his mother had always used regular soap, and Severus knew that it might get his hair clean, but it also made it look lank and even oily. Cutting it short was not an option, thanks to a scar his father had given him along the neck...
Slowly, Severus squirted a small amount of the shampoo into his hand, and then worked it into the top of his hair. To his astonishment, upon touching his hair, the shampoo seemed to have a mind of its own. It went at his scalp as though invisible hands were there. Severus let out a surprised gasp, but realized that it actually felt...pleasant. He let himself relax as the invisible hands worked at his scalp and, then, throughout the rest of his hair. After a few moments, it stopped, and Severus, bemused, stood with his back to the shower spray, allowing the water rinse off the suds.
Severus hurried through the rest of his shower, unwilling to risk seeing any of his roommates see him without his clothes on. Remus seemed decent enough, and but he wasn't sure where he stood with Pettigrew. Potter and Black might still be out to get him, or they might decide to let their argument on the train go, given that they were in the same house.
There was just too much Severus didn't know, and he didn't like it one bit. At least at home, he could try to avoid his father.
Well, he reckoned he'd find out where everyone stood before long.
He toweled his hair dry as best as he could, then dressed. Afterwards, feeling a bit safer, Severus gave his teeth a thorough brushing. Slowly, he returned to the bedroom, feeling nervous but determined to meet whatever lay before him without looking like a sniveling fool. Except, a look around told him that the curtains on all of the beds except one were open. Black and Potter, he saw, were engaged in conversation, and still dressed in their sleeping shifts (as Severus had been taught to call them). The shifts worn by males of wizarding families weren't quite as long as female nightgowns, but were made of the same type of material-cotton for the warmer months, flannel for the winter. Darker colors, sometimes with stripes, and the ones for children might have more vivid patterns. Or so Severus had heard, anyway.
Remus pulled his curtain aside and emerged, dressed in his school robes, and gave Severus a small smile upon seeing him. Severus had gone to sleep without knowing who would take the bed next to him, and was relieved that it had been Remus. He rather hoped that the beds they chose would be the ones they would remain in for, if not their seven years at Hogwarts, at least that year. Sleeping next to Potter or Black meant that Severus would hardly sleep at all. The bed next to Remus, Severus noted, belonged to the still sleeping Pettigrew. Black and Severus, he supposed, had chosen the ones closest to the windows, but he didn't know who slept where.
"Hello," said Remus, as Severus took a seat at the edge of his bed. "Sleep all right?"
Severus nodded. "Had a bit of a shock when I woke up," he admitted.
Remus chuckled. "Yes, I wasn't sure where I was, at first. Took me a minute to remember I was at school."
Before Severus could formulate a response, he saw Black and Potter stand up and began to walk in his direction. Severus willed himself to look at them impassively, as opposed to letting his fear show. Slytherins didn't do that, and Gryffindors certainly didn't. Showing fear was showing weakness before your enemy, and he couldn't afford to do that. At least, upon glancing at his roommates' empty hands, Severus could see that they weren't planning on hexing him just yet. His own wand was in the right pocket of his robes.
After giving a nod to Remus, they stopped directly front of his bed. Before Severus could jump up, they each took a step backwards. Were they trying to appear less threatening? Or, did they genuinely not want to alarm him?
Potter spoke first. "Look, er, I reckon we got off to a bad start yesterday."
"I suppose so," Severus allowed, keeping his eyes on both of them, inwardly debating whether it would be better to stand or remain seated.
"Sirius and I were talking, and we'd like to start over, if that's all right with you. We're in the same house, after all, and we're going to be living together for the next seven years," James went on. "I expect there's enough rivalry between the houses without adding one in our own."
It sounded well enough, just as long as Potter wasn't messing with him. Of course, he wouldn't know unless he got burned by him or Black, but there was little reason to reject the offer of, if not friendship, at least not rivalry.
He'd still keep his wand at his side at all times, preparing for an attack. But that could come from a student friend another house as much as Potter and Black.
Severus gave a quick nod towards Potter, then turned to Black. "You both want to start over, then?"
Black nodded, his face turning a bit red. "Yeah. And I shouldn't have called you Snivellus. I-I'm sorry, Snape."
Severus nodded. Then, feeling that he should make a gesture, just in case they were telling the truth, he thought he should make an effort. Slowly, he said, "It's all right. And, since we're in the same house, maybe we should use our first names?"
The relief and smiles on Potter and Black's faces looked genuine.
"Sure," Black agreed. Extending his hand, he added, "I'm Sirius Black. Call me Sirius."
Severus shook it. "Severus Snape. Call me Severus."
"Sev" was Lily's nickname for him. But maybe, if they really became friends, he might let them use it.
Maybe.
Potter went next. "James Potter, here. James." He grinned. "Nice to meet you, Severus."
They shook hands.
Severus felt the knot in his stomach fade. He wasn't stupid-they couldn't be trusted entirely. But, perhaps, they wouldn't be his enemies.
Remus spoke up, moving over on the edge of his bed to offer space. There was only room for one of them, so Sirius took it, and then James glanced at Severus, who nodded and moved over. James sat next to him, and made a motion with his hand, but Severus involuntarily stiffened, and James' hands went to his sides. The knot returned, followed by a sense of shame.
They chatted for a bit, Severus trying to contribute intelligibly, and if it didn't work, at least he didn't earn any more rude nicknames. Then, James and Sirius excused themselves to change in the bathroom.
"I suppose we better wake Pettigrew," Severus offered, once they were gone.
"Yes, I can't expect he'll want to be late on our first day," Remus returned, with a bit of a laugh.
They headed over, moved back the curtains, and Remus gently prodded a still sleeping Pettigrew, who awoke confused, but quickly recalled where he was, and was eager enough to get on with the day.
Several moments later, the five of them headed to the common room, where the Prefects were gathering the first year students to take to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Perhaps, going to Gryffindor had been a wiser choice than he'd initially anticipated.
Notes:
Next up: Severus sends his mum a letter about his sorting, and Sirius receives a Howler from his mother. Also, perhaps James and Sirius ARE being sincere in seeking out Severus' friendship?
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome! :)
Chapter Text
Even with the established truce between Severus and James and Sirius, he wasn't sure if the three of them would end up as friends. At the Great Hall, Severus took a seat between Remus and Lily, with Pettigrew sitting on the other side of the table, next to James. Sirius was on his other side, and received dark looks from the likely relatives from the Slytherin table.
Well, Severus certainly wouldn't call attention to that, but James gave his friend a nudge in the elbow.
"What's up with them? At the Slytherin table?" he asked, softly enough that the entire table couldn't hear.
Sirius glanced over, then rolled his eyes. "My cousins," he explained. "The blonde is Narcissa. We call her Cissy. And next to her is Bellatrix, or Bella. The male Prefect by Cissy is Lucius Malfoy, who's not really related by blood, but Cissy has been seeing him for two years, and everyone expects they'll get married once she finishes school. The one not glaring, who looks like Bella?" Sirius grinned. "Andromeda, their other sister. She's the middle one, and my favorite. I reckon she doesn't think I am as good as a blood traitor now because I am in Gryffindor."
"Blood traitor?" Severus echoed.
He'd heard the term before. From his mum, about what her family thought when she'd married a muggle, and from his father, when he was being especially nasty.
It was obvious what it meant. Someone who went against the wizarding world, even rejected their magic and lived as a muggle. While Severus never believed that about his mum, he could believe it even less about someone who hadn't been sorted into the family house.
Sirius shrugged, but Severus could see the concern on his face. "Well, the worst Mum can do now is send a Howler."
"What's that?" Lily asked, taking a bite of her eggs.
"A screaming letter, usually from your parents," Severus answered, before anyone else could. "Gets sent to the Great Hall at meals, so not only do you have to listen to them scream at you, everyone else gets to as well."
Lily paled. "How humiliating!"
Severus wanted to say it was better than being whipped, but he didn't. He wouldn't say that just to Lily, and certainly not in front of his house.
"Don't worry, your parents wouldn't know how to," he reassured her.
"Mine do," Sirius said, grimly, playing with a piece of bacon with his fork before bringing it to his mouth.
"Well, that's silly, sending a humiliating screaming letter just because the hat doesn't put you where they want," Lily said, with passion. "I hope they don't."
It was proof that Lily was such a kind person, since she'd snubbed Sirius after her Sorting less than a full day before.
"Thanks, Evans," he said, with a bit of a smile.
She returned it.
Professor McGonagall came by a few moments later, timetables in hand. Severus saw that about half of their classes would be with Ravenclaw, two with Hufflepuff, and Potions with Slytherin. Nothing on the timetable about flying lessons, but his mum had said that those wouldn't be announced until after the first week ended. Severus was both relieved and disappointed that Potions wouldn't be until Friday. The Slytherin students really didn't look that nice, now that he got a good look at them, and their teacher was Professor Slughorn, the head of their house. He would be bound to favor them, too...
Their first class was Transfiguration. It wasn't as difficult for him as he had expected. After watching McGonagall turn her desk into a pig and back, they took notes before trying to turn matches into needles. He managed on his third attempt, earning five points for his house. By the end of the lesson, Lily, James, and Sirius had also managed. Another student from Ravenclaw had nearly managed, but his needle had the coloring of the match, so he didn't earn any points. Charms was next, where they learned how to make sparks with their wands, and everyone managed that by the end of the lesson.
After lunch, they had Defense Against the Dark Arts, taught by a squat but fierce looking witch. She introduced herself as Professor Virgil Armbitry, and while this was her first year at Hogwarts, she'd been teaching the subject at another wizarding school for ten years. She lectured them on the more commonly known dark creatures for most of the class, but Severus didn't find the lesson to be dull in the least. All the same, he hoped that they would have some practical lessons.
That was their final class of the day, and Sirius halfheartedly suggested going to the owlery.
"Are you going to write your mum?" James asked, as they trudged up a staircase that looked promising.
"Naw, my favorite uncle. He was a Slytherin, of course, but maybe he can make my parents see my sorting as something other than a complete repudiation of their values." Sirius looked unconvinced. "Anyway, I reckon it can't hurt."
"I need to tell my mum, too," Severus put in, although a it reluctantly. Unless Remus would come with them, he'd rather not be alone with James and Sirius. "I don't think she'll send a Howler, but it's better she find out sooner rather than later."
"You lot are downers," James complained. "Remus, what will your parents say?"
Remus chuckled. "Dad was a Gryffindor, so he'll be pleased. But he's only told me a hundred times that the hat knows where I will be happiest, so I shouldn't worry wherever I'm placed."
"Mind if he sends some of that wisdom to my parents?" Sirius grumbled. "Not that they'd listen."
After several wrong turns, and help from older students, they finally found their way to the owlery. There were dozens, perhaps hundreds, of owls there. Severus was also pleased to see parchment, ink, quills, and other odds and ends for mailing. He selected some ink, parchment, and a quill, and sat down to write.
Dear Mother,
I hope you're well. I arrived to Hogwarts safely. As you told me, we traveled across the lake in boats. Fortunately, the weather was fair during our trip.
The Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I know this wasn't what we had hoped for, and I hope you're not too disappointed. Two of my roommates seem nice enough, but I don't know about the others. I will, of course, always have my wand on hand.
Give my best to Father, and see you soon.
Your son,
Severus
He read it over a few times before sealing it. He knew it sounded stiff to anyone else who read it, but his mother had never been the warm sort. Not like the Evans family, certainly. He wasn't sure if all pure-blood families were like this, or if it came from being married to an abusive muggle drunk.
Anyway, it conveyed the necessary information, and that was what mattered most. He handed it off to a tawny owl with a pat on the head. The owl gave a small chirp before vacating the owlery.
Lily finished a few moments later, and by the look of the parchment, she'd written far more than he had.
"You know you can write as often as you like," he teased, his tone dry.
Lily lightly elbowed him as she selected her owl. "Well, Tuney might consider me a freak, but Mum and Dad will want to hear all about my school."
"She'll come around," Severus said, although he doubted it.
Petunia Evans had been unpleasant from the first day, and it sounded as though Dumbledore's letter had been the final straw.
They leaned against the wall as they waited for James, Sirius, and Peter to finish their letters. Peter, by the look of it, had written a similarly long letter, although not as long as Lily's near novel (or, rather, biography). Sirius, Severus realized when the boy wrapped up two rolls of parchment, had written two letters. At Severus' gaze, he grinned and shrugged.
"I reckon I ought to tell my parents as well as my uncle. Even if they burn it up upon receiving it," he explained.
Severus nodded. "My mother won't be too happy, either."
Sirius' face took on an almost gentle look. "That's why you wanted to be in Slytherin? She told you all about how great it was?"
"Yes, she had me convinced it was the best house," Severus explained. "She said that Ravenclaw was decent enough, but only if you weren't good enough to get into Slytherin."
Sirius nodded in understanding, even briefly put a hand on his shoulder.
"I am sorry, Severus," he said, quietly. "For what I called you."
Severus felt his throat go dry. "It's all right, Sirius."
Two girls might have hugged at this point, he thought, but he wasn't about to do that.
They did stand next to each other as they waited for James to finish tying up his letter, and Sirius briefly put his arm around Severus' frame.
It wasn't entirely unpleasant.
Notes:
Up next:
Lily gets a crash course in pure-blood hatred, and Severus hears back from his mother.
All constructive feedback is most welcome! :)
Chapter Text
Severus was relieved when no Howler came from his mum, a fate that Sirius wasn't spared. His mother and father (but mostly his mother) screamed at him for at least fifteen minutes, not just calling him a blood traitor, but accusing him of befriending muggle borns (only using the slur against them) and sullying the bloodline.
Several students, Lily included, asked the older students at their tables what "mudbloods" were, and he was glad that James allowed him to answer.
"Let's leave the hall," he said, shortly, in the midst of Mrs. Black's screaming.
She nodded, and they abandoned their mostly eaten breakfasts, retrieved their books, to walk far enough away from the hall to drown out the Black matriarch's slurs.
For everyone's sake, he hoped she'd run out of steam. Or lose her voice.
"You remember that I told you that lots of people who go to schools like this one come from wizarding families, but others don't," Severus began.
"Like me," Lily answered, studying him.
Severus nodded. "Yes. If your entire family is magical, you're a pure-blood. That is, if it's your mum and your dad, and their parents as well. That means you're from a magical family, like James and Sirius, and you're pure-blood." He waited for her to nod, or comment, before continuing. "Now, if it's just some of your family who's magical, you're half-blood. Me and Remus, we have one parent who's magical, who came from a magical family, but the other one's a muggle. So, we're half-blood." Again, Lily nodded. "Then, there's the last type. If you're the first in your family to be magical, well, you're muggle-born." Severus plunged on ahead. "It doesn't matter as far as your magic goes what your family is. But some pure-blood families want to remain that way, and they spread lies about how people who aren't pure-blood aren't as good. One of the things they do is call witches and wizards without parents who are magical is 'mudblood.'"
Lily stared at him. "That's me, then."
Severus gripped her shoulders. "It's a vile word, and anyone who has any sense knows it. It's a lie, that you're not as good as the rest of us, Lily. If you have magic, it doesn't matter who your family is."
She hugged him, then, and with only the slightest hesitation, Severus hugged her back.
"Sirius' mother is a nutter, okay? He's told us so, remember?" Lily grinned, nodding. "And besides, there's only so many pure-blooded families. Remember what you told me about those royal families who kept marrying their cousins and ended up dim-witted and with extra toes?" Severus murmured, still holding her.
Lily giggled, letting go of him. "I remember. Think Mrs. Black has an extra toe?"
Severus snickered. "Probably not, as we can fix those by magic. But, what happens is even worse. You ever read about squibs?"
"No..."
"They're from a magical family, but don't have magic. That's the wizarding version of a birth defect," Severus explained, with a grin.
"Oooh. What happens to them?" Lily asked, wide eyed.
He shrugged. "Usually get adopted by muggles. Easier for them, you know, than having to live in the wizarding world without magic."
"I suppose," Lily agreed.
"Anyway, don't worry about Sirius' mum, all right? She's bonkers, and he knows it. Sounds like a lot of his family is," Severus added. "Well, he seems all right."
"Yes." Lily nodded. Looking back at the hall, she added, "Shall we go back?"
"All right," Severus agreed.
It must be nearly time to leave for Potions, but neither he nor Lily knew how to get there on their own, yet. Anyway, he wanted to see how Sirius was managing.
They returned to the Great Hall, and Severus nearly fell to the ground as an owl narrowly missed colliding with his head. It gave a hoot, then dropped a letter into his hands. A glance at it told him his mother had returned his owl.
Well, at least it wasn't a red letter.
"Don't they usually come at once?" he asked, looking around at James and Sirius.
The latter, who looked stony faced, shrugged. "My mum's dulcet tones must have scared them off."
James gave a short laugh before putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. Severus made a sympathetic face, and wondered if he should wait to open his own letter.
"Oh, go ahead, if you like," Sirius offered, his tone a bit softer, as he nodded at the letter. "Bet yours not half as bad as mine."
Severus snorted in appreciation, then opened the letter and laid it flat on the table.
My dear Severus,
I know you must be disappointed not to be in Slytherin, but the Hat knows our minds and hearts best. Moreover, it must think highly of you, to put you in the house renowned for bravery and honor.
I will only be disappointed if you do not work hard and use this opportunity to make friends with those among your new house. You should, of course, seek to befriend your Slytherin classmates-however, you should not take out your disappointment on your roommates.
Above all, strive for excellence in all of your lessons. I know I can expect high marks in Potions and Defense.
Please write soon and tell me more about your friends and your time at school.
With love,
Mum
Severus reread the letter, and felt his heart rate slow to normal. He hadn't memorized what he'd sent her, of course, but had he implied that he was disappointed by his placement? He knew that he hadn't included that he'd asked to be placed in Gryffindor, so perhaps, she thought he'd been rejected from Slytherin?
A part of him wished he could speak directly to her, but he knew that this was impossible. Not until Christmas, at the earliest, and he had no desire to see his father for the holidays. He always got drunk, and it was never a happy holiday. His mother had spent hers at Hogwarts, and spoke highly of the festivities.
"Severus? How bad is it?" James asked, sounding concerned.
Severus forced his eyes from the letter, and shrugged. "Just said that the hat knows best, and I have to work hard. As though I wasn't planning on doing that."
"Wish my mum had taken that approach," Sirius grumbled. "Well, good for you, Severus."
He didn't sound angry, or not at Severus.
Severus glanced at Lily, who smiled at him.
Everyone was starting to pack up their belongings, and since Severus and Lily had already done so, they waited for their fellow first year Gryffindors to get ready to leave.
It would be all right. His mum wasn't angry, and he didn't have any enemies in his house. They had only one class that morning, and Severus was certain he would do well at it. Then, there was the weekend to study, explore the castle, and enjoy themselves.
Severus took another deep breath before following his classmates from the Great Hall, but before they could go any further, a Slytherin student approached them. Upon closer examination, Severus realized that it was Andromeda Black, which was confirmed when Sirius' expression changed into a smile.
"Hello, Andy," he greeted. Turning to the others, he added, "This is Andromeda Black, the favorite cousin I told you about.
She smiled, a bit formally, and nodded at the others. "Sirius, I wanted to speak with you. Do you have a few minutes?"
Sirius turned back to her, and began to say something before giving her a nod. "All right, but won't you be late for your class?"
"I have a free period," she explained. Turning to the others, she added, "I'll escort him to his class. Potions, isn't it?"
"Yes. Go on, mate, we'll save you a spot," James encouraged.
"All right, see you soon," Sirius answered, still smiling, and following his cousin into a corridor.
"Wonder what that was about," Severus murmured, once they were out of earshot.
James looked at him like he was a complete fool. "She's his favorite cousin, Severus, and he just got a howler from his mother. She likely wants to make sure he's all right."
Oh. Right, that made sense.
"And since he's in a different house," Remus added, in a more gentle tone, "she likely wanted to catch him when she could."
Severus nodded. "You're right, I should have guessed as much."
James turned, nearly crashing into Severus. "You don't have any family that you're close with, do you?"
Severus shrugged, like it didn't matter. "My father's a drunk, and I've never met my grandparents on his side. Reckon they disowned him for marrying a witch. It's what my mum's parents did."
James and Remus and even Peter exchanged a look.
"Most families don't do that," Peter spoke up. "My mum's a witch, and my dad's a muggle. We all get together at holidays."
Severus would have liked to snarled that not everyone came from a perfect family, but he didn't. Peter didn't deserve that.
"What about you?" he asked Remus, as they headed into the dungeons and took their seats.
"The same, but it's a bit different for my mum's family. Once they heard what my dad did for her, they couldn't exactly dislike him. And it's not as though they got married on the day he saved her," he added, with a grin.
Severus wondered if things would have been different had his mum saved his dad from a Bogart. Probably not. They had liked each other once, after all, and something had changed. Perhaps, it was because she hadn't told him until after they got engaged. Or, maybe it was because Severus was magical, too.
He knew that there was no point in wishing things were different. But he would make his father pay for hurting his mum (and yes, for hurting him) as soon as he returned home next.
Sirius returned, looking a lot happier, just before Slughorn arrived and began lecturing about potions for removing boils.
Notes:
Next up: After seeing something about his roommate Severus would have liked to keep secret, a bond occurs between Severus and one (or many?) of the marauders. (G rated)
I'm going to say that this is one of the big turning points/"come to Jesus" moments so far.
Thank you for all of those who have left feedback. I cannot express how much constructive feedback, and your ideas in general regarding this fic, mean to me! :)
Chapter 7
Notes:
There will be no scenes of physical punishment in this fic from the time Severus is at Hogwarts and onwards, but it's canon that his father beat him in the past. With that in mind, this chapter will delve into that, although without any flashbacks to Severus being beaten. I wouldn't suggest skipping the entire chapter if this bothers you, because there's some serious character development present, but you might want to skim over parts, especially the beginning.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The following Friday evening, Severus emerged from one of the showers, a towel wrapped around the bottom half of his body, and his night shirt clutched in his right hand. Taking a deep breath, Severus turned sideways to get a better look at himself in the mirror.
Or, to be more precise, his backside.
Severus' father had subjected him to painful beatings since he'd been old enough to get in his way. Perhaps, around the age of four? Severus vaguely recalled that his mother had objected, at first, and faced his wrath in addition to him. Why, Severus had wondered on numerous occasions, hadn't his mum just taken out her wand and hexed him? Or, at the very least, defended herself and her son? He'd never found the courage to ask her, and he later supposed that she'd made some modified version of the Unbreakable Vow never to use magic against him.
Perhaps, Tobias Snape had seemed like a kinder person when they were courting. He must have been, or why would Eileen Prince have left her pure-blooded family for an abusive muggle like him? Sure, she hadn't exactly been attractive, but to witches and wizards who only wanted to marry their own kind, that was secondary to preserving the bloodline.
Severus would defend his mother, and himself, when he returned in the summer. He smiled a little at what sort of hexes he could use against the man who had sired him. His mother wouldn't approve, at first, but she'd be grateful when her husband finally left him alone.
With that in mind, Severus now examined his back. As far as he could remember, his father had belted him hard enough to release blood, and he'd been in agony for the remainder of the day. Or so it felt, to a small child. His mother, an expert in healing charms and potions, had been able to fix most of the damage. But still, there was scarring. Numerous small lines and circles filled most of Severus' back, a tribute to his father's anger at the world. Perhaps, a professional Healer could have removed the scarring, except that would likely cost money, and it would draw attention to their circumstances. So, Severus learned to accept these scars on his back, and was glad that they were not in a more visible area.
The latest beating had come the night before he would leave for school. By his own standards, it had not been particularly painful, and Severus hadn't bothered his mother. Not when there was still the lack of the packing to do, and she was worried enough for his sake.
Severus hadn't looked to see what the results of the final beating-and it would be the final beating-since he'd started school. Partly, he was afraid-mostly, he didn't want any of his roommates to come inside the bathroom and see his back. He was on decent enough terms with Sirius and James, but they were pure-bloods and Sirius might have been subjected to similar treatment by his family. His mother had sent another Howler, this time to Dumbledore, demanding that her son be moved to the Slytherin House. Such a move had not occurred. Remus would likely feel sorry for Severus, and he wanted his peer's friendship, not his pity. As for Peter? Well, to be honest, Severus often forgot the last boy was even there. He followed the rest of them wherever they went, yet he was fairly forgettable unless you were seeing him or talking to him.
With this in mind, Severus knew that the chances of someone rushing in were low. It was a Friday evening, and most of the Gryffindor House was gathered in the Common Room, or perhaps getting a few more hours in at the library before curfew. Perhaps, exploring the castle. Not taking a shower a few hours before bed.
Almost two weeks later, the area was still healing. He saw a mix of scabbing and dark purple bruising, but when Severus gently prodded at it, there was minimal pain. His mother would have still wanted to use a healing potion on it, and he would have allowed it without complaint, but he certainly wouldn't seek out aid for something so minor from the matron at Hogwarts.
Feeling relieved, he was about to don his night shirt when he heard the door swing open and the familiar voice of Sirius Black. Frozen, Severus couldn't force his fingers to move, although the chances of preventing Sirius from seeing him would have been small.
The words of his not friend, but not truly enemy, echoed in the year.
"Hey, Severus, James is finally going to test out his Invisibility Cloak! We reckon the two of us can fit under it, and we're going to the kitchens for a snack. You want us to snag you anything?"
Severus should have answered, should have pulled the night shirt over his head. Had Sirius noticed his back-and he was standing at an angle that he might not have seen much-Severus could have accused him of being nearsighted.
Instead, his reaction time was too slow, and before he knew it, Sirius was at his side, his hand on his mouth, even though Severus knew he didn't smell.
"Merlin! Severus, what happened to you?"
Sirius was staring at him, and Severus still couldn't find the words, only the vague thought that if Sirius Black now wanted to rescind whatever friendship they had, go back to calling him "Snivellus" even, he'd have all the ammunition right here.
Severus forced himself to straighten, to pull his night shirt over his head before Sirius Black could spend even more time staring at him. He removed the towel and walked over to the towel rack, hanging it under his name.
"Severus?" Sirius repeated, still standing there, still staring at him. "What happened to your back?"
Severus turned to face Sirius. "Why?"
"Because no one should do that to another person, that's why!" Sirius shot back, crossing his arms. Then, realization seemed to hit. "It wasn't one of your parents, was it?"
"Yes. My father, who hates magic," Severus explained, stiffly.
He felt that he could speak, now, especially since his back and his scars weren't exposed. He occupied himself in straightening the front of his night shirt. Any excuse to look down, and not at Sirius Black.
"And he uses you to express his anger at it?" Sirius asked, his voice now soft.
Gentle, even.
Face flushed, Severus nodded. "He won't be able to, anymore. The night before I left was the last time. And if he tries to hurt my mum..."
He left the sentence unanswered, mostly because he still didn't want to give anyone (well, Lily and Remus might be exceptions) that information.
Sirius surprised Severus by putting a hand on his shoulder. No, he actually put it around his shoulder.
"Yeah. You'll hex the living daylights out of him," Sirius agreed, and while there was a darkness in his tone, Severus could tell it wasn't directed at him.
Severus forced out a laugh. "Can you tell I've played it all out in my head?"
Sirius gave his shoulder a light squeeze. "I reckon we all have. Who doesn't have an enemy that they wouldn't like to throw a good magical equivalent of a punch at? And, besides, after we've been here for a year, and will have learned some good ones. Anyway," he added, "Andy already promised to defend me if my parents tried to hurt me."
So that had been what the conversation between them had been about. Sirius certainly looked happier after speaking to his cousin, although no one had thought it prudent to ask about it.
"I already know some. Well, the incantations, anyway," Severus admitted. "Will be some time before I can make them work."
Sirius gave him a light punch. "Give him hell, all right?" At Severus' nod, he added, softly, "D'you know if he, er, does the same to your mum?"
"Probably, but I reckon I take the brunt of it." Severus shrugged, and Sirius' arm fell off his shoulder. He was a little disappointed, even though he didn't think he would be. "Mind you, things will change this summer."
Sirius stood in front of Severus, now, looking him in the eye. "Look, I know I already apologized for what I called you, and for being a prat on the train...but I really am sorry, all right?"
Severus nodded. "To be fair, Sirius, I wasn't exactly polite to you or James," he pointed out.
Even if they had been the ones to intrude on their conversation. But that was history, now.
"Well, no," Sirius allowed, with a grin. "But we probably shouldn't have gone off on you like that." At Severus' silence, minus a slight nod, he added, "I'm glad we're in the same house, you know? I reckon we could have been real enemies had you and Lily been sorted into Slytherin. Good thing, eh?"
"Well," Severus said, slowly, not sure he wanted to say this, but figuring that Sirius had already seen what his father had done to him, and that was a lot worse. "I actually asked the hat to put me in Gryffindor. After we left...Lily and I joined Remus' compartment after we left the one we shared with you, and he seemed decent enough. We were even calling each other by our first names before the end of the trip," Severus recalled. "When he and Lily ended up in Gryffindor, I figured I'd take my chances...even if you and James ended up being prats."
Sirius looked rather impressed. "All right, now I really am sorry for what I said before. That took nerve. More nerve than I had. I just wanted to go into the same house as James, and maybe there was a bit of sticking it to my family. You were going in thinking we were going to make your life miserable."
Severus looked down at the floor, briefly, before meeting Sirius' eyes. "I'd rather hoped that there would be others who weren't prats, and you might give me a second chance, once I was in your house."
Sirius, to Severus' surprise, reached out and hugged him. Severus took a moment to hug him back, but he did. His friend's arms felt strong around him, protective, even. Severus thought that if he sent Sirius an owl that summer to come over and help him hex his father, he'd show up in a heartbeat.
Severus let go first. They smiled at each other, a little awkwardly.
"I thought only girls did that," Sirius quipped, with a grin. "Ah, well. Can't take it back, I suppose."
Severus huffed a laugh. "It's rather better than punching each other."
Sirius, grinning, elbowed him, but it was a gentle. "Oh, Merlin, I forgot that James is waiting for me. So, er, do you want us to get you anything from the kitchens?"
Severus considered. He'd enjoyed the chocolate éclairs from the Feast, but hadn't seen any since. Anyway, he wondered how Sirius and James would manage this. How, exactly, were they planning to sneak into the kitchens?
"Oh, that's easy," Sirius answered, breezily, as they walked out of the bathroom and into the dormitory. "James' dad gave him all sorts of information about the passwords to the rooms we're not technically supposed to get into. As for getting the food, the kitchen is run by house elves-you know what those are?-and they just love visitors and handing out snacks to students. Ask them for anything, and they'll get it like that." He snapped his fingers. "So, chocolate eclairs for you?"
Severus nodded. "Say, er, is this going to be a one time trip or...?"
James answered for Sirius. "Dad wants me to be in possession of the cloak at all times, but we can take turns. Really, I reckon that three of us can fit under it, so is there anyone else who wants to go?"
"Severus does," Sirius answered, with a brief glance towards him.
Remus looked relieved, as did Peter.
"All right, so long as you don't get us caught and expelled," Severus agreed, raising an eyebrow. "How does this cloak work, anyway?"
James grinned. "Well, you become totally invisible, but you still make sounds, so we have to go quietly..."
"And with three sets of feet, that will be ten times more difficult than getting the food," Sirius observed, grinning.
James tousled his near perfect hair. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Come on, then! To the kitchens!"
The next morning, Severus found a note on his bed. Specifically, on the top of his head.
Severus,
I wasn't sure if I should ask, but do you want me to say anything to the others about the-you know? So that you don't have to?
Last night was fun, eh?
Sirius
Severus read the note a few times, trying to decide whether to reply, or what he wanted to say. Really, he'd hoped to be able to go as long as possible without his roommates knowing his father had used him as a punching bag, but based on the fact that he hadn't made it a full two weeks before Sirius had found out, this was unlikely.
If it weren't for the last line, Severus might have been annoyed. Who was Sirius, to think he had the authority to tell the group? But no, he was just another kid, and wanted to do the right thing.
As luck would have it, Sirius was up before the others. Severus trailed him to the bathroom.
Sirius grinned at him. "Early riser this morning, too, eh?"
"Think I woke up to your note," Severus remarked, with what he hoped was a sardonic smile.
Sirius looked a tad embarrassed. "Oh, right. That."
"Listen, you and James are a lot better friends than he and I." Granted, James had included him last night, and hadn't insulted him or anything. He also hadn't excluded him. All the same, it was obvious that he and Sirius were practically brothers. Did being pure-blood do that? "You can tell him, and Peter, I suppose. But I'd rather be the one to tell Remus."
"I sort of thought that would be the case," Sirius answered, with a nod. "But I wanted to check with you."
"I appreciate it," Severus said, and he meant it.
Sirius put a hand on his shoulder. "Look, er, my parents have used that kind of stuff on me. Of the magical sort. Like stinging hexes and the like. But nothing that stayed on me for more than a day."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Are you planning to retaliate when you return home?"
Sirius shook his head. "Better to stay out of their way. Especially my mum's. Mind you, her bark is worse than her bite, but I'm a blood traitor now, so I really better stay out of her sight."
It sounded like it, based on the two Howlers. Severus felt a momentary spark of gratitude that, as much as his father hated magic, he had to resort to his fists. A few good hexes, and he might back off entirely.
"James says I can probably spend a few weeks at his house," Sirius continued. "I reckon I'll spend Christmas and Easter here."
"I was planning to do that. Mum says that Christmas is really enjoyable, and the Easter holidays are just filled with homework, so there's no sense in returning home," Severus offered. "But you don't need to decide until December."
They returned to their dormitory, where the curtains on the beds were still drawn.
"Want to grab an early breakfast? Those lazies will be sleeping for another couple of hours, I expect," Sirius offered.
Severus nodded, warmth filling him. "Sure."
Notes:
I realized in the last chapter that I didn't clarify what Andromeda wanted to talk to Sirius about. Hope this chapter clears it up. As it's Severus' point of view, and his friendship with the others is rather new, he's not going to out and ask Sirius-who might have told James privately. But basically, Andromeda gave him moral support after his mother's FIFTEEN MINUTE LONG Howler. Because she is his favorite cousin.
Checking online, the time she was born ranges by a few years, so I put her as a sixth year. I realize that this means Bellatrix would have graduated from Hogwarts by then...oh well. I guess this will be her seventh year. JKR has said that she's not good with math, which means that fans can fudge the numbers a bit. Side note: I'm doing the same, at least in this fic, with full moon dates. As long as Remus is gone once a month and roughly a month apart, I'm not going to bother about whether it was a full moon.
Up next: Remus' needing to leave for a few days causes Severus to wonder if his friendship with James and Sirius is entirely sincere on their end.
Chapter Text
A week later, on Saturday morning after they had all risen but before they'd gone to the Great Hall for breakfast, Remus casually announced that he would have to return home for a few days on Thursday. Severus felt his heart rate increase at this news, even though he told himself that if James and Sirius wanted to beat him up or hex him, they would have done so already. They'd been living together for just under three weeks-the train had brought them to Hogwarts on Sunday-and everything had been going fine up until now.
Unless they hadn't wanted to bother with Remus there. But no. Thinking about it, Severus was reasonably certain that Sirius wouldn't act on his own, especially having seen his scars. James, too, had been even kinder to him ever since (Severus thought) he learned that his father regularly beat him. In fact, the five of them had begun doing their homework together, usually in the library, and they were amicable enough to him.
Except, really, it wasn't really a group of five. James and Sirius acted as Severus imagined twin brothers would act, always joking around or engaged in playful rough housing. Severus thought that if he had a sickle every time one of them elbowed the other or tried to mess up their hair, he would easily be able to afford all of his textbooks for his second year, and probably his third. Peter was also always around them, listening to their every word. They were decent to him, but he never quite fit in with their group. A third wheel, as the muggle expression went.
Then, there was him and Remus. Severus didn't consider Remus as close of a friend as Lily (who had found her own friends to study with), but he felt far more comfortable around him than around James and Sirius alone. Or James and Sirius and Peter. Really, he and Remus might be considered friends of the two pure-bloods, but not in their inner circle. Was it because James and Sirius came from wizarding families? Perhaps, Severus sometimes thought, even if Sirius had wanted to escape the pure-blood worship of the Slytherin House, he couldn't quite manage it. Not if his closest friend was also a pure-blood wizard.
Now, Remus was leaving the group, even if it was only for a few days, and Severus would face James and Sirius alone for the first time since the train ride.
And Peter, but he didn't truly count as a foe.
Well, there was little he could do much about this. As Remus had explained, his mother wanted him there to celebrate his grandmother's birthday, after all, and he couldn't very well refuse. So, he'd be leaving by Portkey the following Thursday, and be back by Sunday afternoon.
"Why so long?" James asked, helping Remus pack. "If the party is on Friday?"
Remus shrugged. "I suppose my other family wants to have a chance to see me." He gave them a small smile. "It will have been almost a month since the term began."
"I expect you'll going to go home for Christmas?" Sirius queried, sitting on the edge of the bed, and watching Remus add some socks to his trunk.
"I expect so, even if they want me to come up before then," Remus answered, looking thoughtful.
James and Sirius exchanged looks at Remus going home a second time before their two-week vacation, and Severus tried to reassure himself that they weren't plotting against him.
Severus tried to act as though everything was normal during the days leading to Remus' departure, but he really wished he knew some actual hexes in case things took a turn for the worse.
He left on Thursday morning before the others had woken up. Severus, being an early riser, and perhaps jolted awake by nerves, heard his friend walking around, likely placing items of clothing in an overnight bag. After a few moments, he decided that he might as well get up.
"Hello, Remus," he said quietly, loathe to wake the others.
Remus was already fully dressed, but not carrying anything. Still, his body seemed headed towards the door. "Hello, Severus."
"You're, er, not taking anything with you?" he asked.
Remus laughed. "I'll only be gone for a few days. I have clothes at my house, and my mum can clean my uniform while I'm there," he explained.
Severus nodded. Lily, in all likelihood, would take several changes of clothes, but she was a girl, after all.
"You're leaving right away, then?" he asked.
"In a few moments, yes. I need to stop by Professor McGonagall's office for the Portkey," he explained.
"I could go with you," Severus offered.
Remus looked uncomfortable, though it took Severus a moment to see why. Then, he realized he was still in his sleeping shirt.
"Oh, right," he said, managing a laugh. "Well, I suppose I'll see you on Sunday."
His friend nodded, then put a hand on his shoulder. "Severus, if you're concerned about James and Sirius...well, I wouldn't be."
Severus tried hard not to let his face grow red. Was it that obvious he was still afraid?
Well, not so much afraid as cautious. Sure, the two were decent enough as long as Remus was there, but what if everything changed when he was gone?
"Right. Well, I suppose I'll find out, either way," he said, a bit colder than he intended.
"Really, Severus. They're decent," Remus assured him. "But if I'm wrong, I owe you five chocolate bars."
Severus had to laugh at that. Given how much his friend loved chocolate, he must be really certain.
"I'll hold you to that," he half-threatened.
Then, Remus pulled him into a hug. Severus froze for a moment, then squeezed back.
"See you soon," Remus said, once they'd separated, looking a bit amused at Severus' reaction.
"Have fun at the party," Severus answered, managing a smile.
Which Remus returned, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
It was still rather early, except not early enough to bother try going back to sleep. Anyway, in spite of Remus' reassurances, Severus didn't quite trust James or Sirius not to hex him in his sleep. Mostly James. Unless Sirius was an excellent liar, he had seemed genuine enough over the last couple of weeks, mostly after learning about Severus' abuse. Perhaps, even if James wanted to hex him, Sirius could get him to knock it off.
Severus dressed and brushed his teeth, having already showered the night before. They'd have Potions this morning, and Herbology in the afternoon, so he ought to use the time to prepare for those lessons. Keeping the curtains to his bed open, he climbed back in, textbooks in hand. He lay on his stomach and began to reread the chapters they would cover.
He was so immersed in his studying that he didn't notice Sirius until his roommate playfully tugged at a piece of his hair. It was light enough not to hurt, but the touch startled him enough that he lost his balance and fell face first onto his book.
Sirius, to his credit, didn't laugh. "Merlin, I'm sorry! Didn't mean to startle you, Severus."
Severus forced himself upright, tried to look dignified, and looked up at Sirius. His face only showed concern, but Severus knew that his own was probably red with embarrassment.
"It's all right," he answered, although rather stiffly. He moved his sleeves up to examine his elbows which were, thankfully, free from any marks.
Sirius sat down at the edge of the bed. "Rule number twenty-seven of living with roommates. Don't grab their hair when they're immersed in studying."
Severus had to laugh, just a little, at that. "Should I be aware of the other twenty-six?"
"Well, they're not rules so much as things to be aware of," Sirius explained, with a mischievous grin. "For example, James snores."
"I do not!" came James' voice, followed by his body, and Severus had to force himself not to wince as his roommate headed over in his direction.
"Hmm. Maybe that is Peter, then," Sirius suggested, with an innocent grin. "I sleep with you on either side of me."
"Is not!" Peter mumbled from within his bed.
"It is definitely Peter," James insisted, now walking over to Severus. Or Sirius, rather.
James planted himself at the edge of Severus' bed, right next to Sirius, and slung an arm around him.
"You do talk in your sleep, though," Sirius informed James, with a grin. "Can't talk your way out of that."
James removed Sirius' arm from his shoulder before giving him him a light shove. "Oh, that's nothing. Mum screams in her sleep. Wakes up my dad." He grinned. "She didn't warn him before they got married."
"You're joking," Severus said, before he could stop himself.
In spite of the fact that they had taken up residence on the edge of his bed, they were talking to each other, not him.
But then James smiled at him, and it seemed almost genuine. "Nope. And Dad sometimes quotes Ministry laws he's read about in the Daily Prophet. Also, potion instructions. A perfect match, those two. You should be glad if I only snore. Which I don't."
Severus had to smile at this, and Sirius outright snorted.
Sirius gave James a poke. "See, James, he can smile," he said, in a stage whisper.
Severus' confusion must have been obvious because James spoke up.
"You've been acting like we're going to hex you ever since Remus announced he was leaving for a few days," he explained. "And you're always armed, as though prepared for it."
Severus stiffened. "I wasn't sure where we stood."
Looking at both of them, he could see their faces soften.
"Well, I thought we were friends," Sirius explained, carefully. "Especially after..." He made a motion to his back. "Not that we, er, were going to use it against you or anything," he added, quickly.
"Definitely not!" James agreed, nodding vigorously.
Severus stared at the blanket on top of the bed.
"I expected that you lot hated me and were out to make my life miserable ever since the train," he admitted in a low voice.
"Yeah, but we said that we were in the same house, on the same side, didn't we?" James asked, sounding both concerned and exasperated.
Severus looked up. "Well, yeah, you said that."
James put a hand on his shoulder. "I meant it. So did Sirius."
Sirius nodded, then cautiously put an arm around Severus' shoulders.
It was oddly comforting, and Severus swallowed, hard. "I, er, I didn't exactly have a lot of friends before. My mum, she's a witch, but my father's a muggle. Her family wasn't exactly thrilled with who she married."
James looked angry at this news, but Sirius just nodded, and squeezed Severus a bit tighter.
"Lots of pure-blood families are like that. Not James', but my family has this stupid tapestry with everyone's names and birth dates and all that. It's basically a family tree," Sirius said, slowly. "Except, if you do something really bad, and you're of age, your name gets burned off. I never really thought about it until now, because that was just something that happened. Everyone knew the rules, and if you broke them, well, it was your fault. Also, no one would bring up your name in family gatherings, except to use you as an example."
Severus looked at Sirius, then at James. "I've never met anyone from my mum's family, but I reckon they did something similar to my mum."
James frowned. "Whatever happened to marrying who you wanted, muggle born or muggle, and just making sure they knew not to go around blabbing to the Wizarding World? It's not like there are unlimited pure-blood families to choose from."
Sirius snorted. "Don't let my parents hear you talk that way. I got threatened with the Cruciatius Curse for asking what what happen if we ran out of pure-blood families. I was eight, I think."
Severus couldn't hide his gasp. "But that's illegal!"
Sirius just shrugged, then squeezed Severus' shoulders. "I expect pure-blood families can get away with a lot, especially if it's within their own family. Anyway, they didn't actually use it on me."
"We're getting off topic," James reminded them. "Look, Severus, if you don't want to be friends, that's your choice, but if you don't, we're not going to go around hexing you."
"I never said I didn't want to be friends." He looked at James, then at Sirius. "I do. Want to be friends, I mean."
They smiled at him.
"This calls for a hug," James determined. At Sirius and Severus' dubious looks, he added, "A group hug. Up."
He pulled on both of them, but more gently on Severus.
"You better not try to kiss me, James," Sirius grumbled, rising.
"Eugh, no way. Not with your morning breath," James shot back.
Sirius tousled his hair, but Sirius just laughed and grabbed hold of a piece of his.
Severus watched in mild amusement. Was this how most boys acted?
James had Severus stand in the middle of them, and they both placed their arms around his frame. He stood rather stiffly until James, laughing, instructed him what you do.
"First, you hug one of us, and then you turn and hug the other," he explained. "My mum calls it a hug sandwich."
Bemused, Severus followed his instructions. He started with James. Warmth filled him from all sides, and while it suddenly felt a bit difficult to breathe, he didn't really mind. The same thing happened with Sirius, who hugged him a bit tighter this time.
Finally, they separated.
Sirius let out a chuckle. "That wasn't quite as bad as I'd expected."
James rolled his eyes. "I guess the Black family doesn't hug a lot, eh? Or the Snape family?"
They both shook their heads.
James let out a put-upon sigh. "No wonder you were both sorted into Gryffindor."
"Oh?" Severus asked, grabbing his book bag.
"Yeah, Slytherin is just a bunch of cold old snakes," James explained, with a grin, and he slung an arm around each of them. "I'm telling you, you both really lucked out, being sorted here."
Sirius and Severus snorted, but Severus privately thought that James might not be too far off.
They grabbed their bags, and after dragging Peter from his bed, headed to get ready for breakfast.
Notes:
Next up: Severus is REALLY good at Potions, and why is Remus so exhausted after just having been home to see his family?
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome. :)
Chapter Text
By the time Remus returned on Sunday in the early afternoon, Severus felt much more confident that James and Sirius were no longer out to get him. He could see-as could anyone with a working set of eyes-that they were much closer friends with each other than with him. All the same, not only had they not hexed him, they had even made more of an effort to include him within their group during Remus' absence. Perhaps they had noticed that, when they did their homework, it tended to be two groups who sat at the same table, yet with physical distance between them. Severus hadn't minded this arrangement, as he and Remus worked well as study partners, but with him not there, Severus had been alone. James and Sirius had seen this, made space for him, and included him in their study plans. They even asked Severus' input regarding which the order of subjects to study, and assigned him to create the study questions for Potions, while they would work on ones for the subjects in which they thrived.
James, for instance, was downright brilliant at Transfiguration. While he was still on a first year level, he was able to complete the tasks assigned to them on the first attempt, and it was a struggle for him not to go ahead and try the next assignment. His essays also needed no rewriting, as he managed to get his thoughts down intelligently on the first attempt. He also had a knack for Herbology, even though he admitted that the subject didn't interest him very much.
"Why bother with growing plants when they'll just be cut up and used for potions?" he'd complained, more than once. "If I go into Potions as a career, I'll just hire someone else to grow the plants."
He could, too. His father had already been rich, but his development of a hair potion meant to tame even the worst of nests provided him with money that would rival the Malfoy family-though, perhaps, not the Blacks.
Sirius, on the other hand, had a real talent for Charms. He also, to everyone's amusement, enjoyed Herbology as much as it bored James. His spells always worked on the first attempt, or the second if he wasn't concentrating, and he rarely bothered with learning the theory behind the wand movements.
"It's all just rubbish to help you focus," he'd say. "The intent is what really matters."
He demonstrated this by using the levitation spell, something they would not learn in class until Halloween, while keeping his wand hand entirely straight, and still managing to raise his quill five feet in the air and hold it for as many minutes.
Severus, of course, knew that his talents lay in Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Slughorn's class rather bored him, because he'd been making potions to cure boils and warts and moles with his mum since he was six years old. While Slughorn could see his talent, and awarded him points accordingly, he didn't bother assigning him with more advanced work. Defense was also fairly easy, especially since they only used practical spells half of the time, if that.
Remus shone when it came to Charms, as well as Transfiguration, but he didn't believe that he was as good at the latter class as he really was. To James' amusement, and a bit of teasing, Remus kept studying the theory, even after his transfigurations went perfectly.
Peter, Severus had to admit, didn't seem to have the same talent for the practical fields, and relied on James and Sirius' help simply to keep up. Not that he was without talent. Astronomy and History of Magic was where he shone, and he could create decent memory devices for the others to keep track of dates and planetary cycles.
"My dad mentioned in his last letter that we'll add more classes in our third year," James said, once they had finished their homework for the weekend, and he had finished looking over Peter's essay for Potions.
"Just what we need, more work," Peter said, with a bit of a sigh.
"I'd sign up for two classes if it meant being able to drop History of Magic. Why should we care about the Veela Revolt of 1652? Has anyone here ever even seen a Veela?" Sirius grumbled.
Everyone shook their heads.
"It would be easier if we could just study the history on our own and take the tests," Severus allowed, shutting his Potions book. "The class itself is only good for an aid for insomnia."
James grinned at him. "Too bad muggle technology doesn't work here. We could record Binns' lectures and sell them as a sleeping aid."
"Far less addicting than Dreamless Sleep," Severus added, dryly.
Peter looked surprised. "Is it really?"
"All potions are, to one degree or another, if used regularly," Severus explained, not managing to keep the surprise out of his voice. Didn't everyone know this? "Dreamless Sleep's level of addictiveness is debatable, but most Healers won't allow for its use in full-grown adults more than twice a week."
"Where's that in our textbook?" James asked, raising his eyebrows at Severus. Quickly, he added, "I'm not accusing you of lying, mate, I know that you could whip up potions circles around the rest of us."
Severus tried not to smile. James and Sirius were at the top of their year in nearly everything, but Slughorn had told Severus in private that he had a real career in the field.
"My boy, you could take your O.W.L.'s with a year of hard work, were that permissible!" he'd told him, quietly, after he'd handed in his latest potion. "You and Miss Evans will be the potioneers of your day, I'd bet galleons on it."
"Professor Slughorn loans me his copies of Potioneers Weekly, once he's finished with them," Severus answered, with a small smile.
They were far more challenging than his textbook, and Slughorn had told the class that they would continue to use it for their second year. Severus hoped the intermediate guide would prove more stimulation.
James seemed satisfied with that response. "D'you think he'll let us borrow them, once you're finished?"
"You'll have to ask Lily Evans, as she reads through them once I'm finished, and gives them back to Slughorn," Severus explained.
"Right. Think I'll do that, then," James said, with a grin. "Sirius? Peter? Want me to add your names to the list?"
Sirius nodded eagerly, but Peter shook his head.
"I have enough trouble keeping up in his class as it is," he said, with a half laugh, half sigh. "It's even worse than Transfiguration."
"Your partner doesn't help much," James comforted him. "Shame Slughorn won't let you work with one of our groups."
Peter shrugged. "At least I can give it up after my O.W.L.s. Only nearly five more years to go."
"Well, once you make these changes, you'll be all set with this essay," James told Peter, handing him back his essay that was about half covered in red ink. "Shall we check on Remus before heading to dinner?"
This received agreement from everyone, especially Peter, who looked at his essay as though it were a basilisk before putting it back in his bag.
The curtains to Remus' bed were closed, and Severus was the only one who felt comfortable enough to push them aside and prod the likely sleeping boy. Remus was curled in on himself, sleeping heavily, and Severus gently prodded him.
"Remus," he said, speaking softly.
To his surprise, Remus' eyes opened almost immediately. "Severus?" he asked, his voice rather husky.
"We're heading to the Great Hall for dinner," he explained, still keeping his voice low. "Join us, won't you? You missed lunch earlier."
"All right," Remus agreed, rubbing his eyes. "Give me a moment to get dressed, will you?"
"Sure. I'll hand you your robes?"
"Thanks."
Once Severus retrieved the necessary articles of clothing, Remus' curtains closed again. Severus stepped backwards, wanting to give his friend plenty of space.
"Poor bloke. He's still worn out from the festivities," Sirius observed, looking at his friend's bed with fondness.
"Has he been like that since we left, d'you think?" Peter wondered.
"Might have risen to go to the bathroom," James noted, then shrugged. "Should we just bring him some food back?"
But Remus pushed aside the curtains then, fully dressed. He looked more pale than usual, but smiled at the rest of them.
"Thanks for waking me up. I might have slept all night," he said, with a yawn.
Sirius put an arm around him. "Your family knows how to party, I reckon?"
Remus chuckled. "I suppose so."
Severus noted that Remus didn't eat very much, and wondered if it had been a mistake to wake him up. Upon returning, Remus looked rather longingly in the direction of their dormitory for a moment, but turned back to Severus and the others before they could say anything.
"What have you been doing today?" he asked, hiding a yawn.
"Exploring the castle for a couple of hours this morning, then homework and some studying in the afternoon," Severus answered. "You must have a lot to do..."
But Remus just shook his head. "No, the teachers all knew that I'd be out, so they gave me my assignments last Friday. I finished everything before I went home."
"Good thing, then," James noted, giving him a relieved smile.
"Yes, well, family gatherings are always like this, and I'll need to go home again next month. They promised to do the same, then," Remus explained, taking a seat in one of the armchairs.
"What's going on next month?" Peter asked, removing his essay and some fresh parchment from his bag.
"Nothing specific, only it will be a lot colder, and Mum always gets rather terribly ill around then," Remus explained. "Dad works, and will need me to help him take care of her."
"Aren't there potions for that?" Severus asked.
"She's a muggle," Remus reminded him. "She likes magic well enough, of course, but she'd rather stick with muggle medicine for herself."
Severus nodded. He'd read about the effectiveness of potions on muggles, and while they didn't generally poison them, they certainly didn't work as well as they did on witches and wizards. Remus' mother was wise to keep them at a distance, especially if there was a muggle alternative.
"Then," Remus added, with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, "my aunt Jessica is marrying Philip in November, so they'll want me home for that."
"If that wedding is anything like the party you just attended, you'll need at least two days to recover," Sirius noted.
"Well, she's my favorite aunt," Remus said, with a shrug.
The conversation fizzled out, then. In spite of his near exhaustion, Remus helped Peter with his essay while the others finished their Transfiguration homework. It was still rather early, but Remus kept glancing in the direction of the dormitory, and it probably wouldn't hurt to get to bed at a reasonable hour.
James and Sirius seemed to be thinking the same. Once everyone had completed their work, they made a big show of yawning, and they all headed to their dormitory. Severus had rather hoped to get a chance to talk with Lily-even though they were in the same house, they didn't see each other nearly as often as he would have expected-but she was busy with a group of girl friends.
It was a good thing that James and Sirius had extended an offer of friendship to him, and that he'd accepted. Otherwise, with only Remus, he would have been very lonely. And possibly looking over his shoulder every minute in case the two of them were planning on hexing him.
Notes:
Next up: It's the Halloween feast! And, perhaps, some foul tricks are at work?
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome-and thanks for those who have been so kind as to leave their thoughts!
Chapter 10
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus was rather astonished at how quickly October passed. Just before the end of the month, Remus had to return home again and, this time, Severus wasn't at all concerned that James and Sirius would turn against him in his absence. Nor did they. All the same, Severus was happy When Remus returned. Outside of Lily, who had found her own group of friends that consisted of Gryffindors and a few Ravenclaws, Remus was still the person Severus felt closest with. Had it not been for Remus, Severus might not have risked asking the Hat for Gryffindor, and ended up in Slytherin. Possibly trying to ingratiate himself with the other Black family, who seemed to hold the power-and wield it accordingly. Sirius was certain that his oldest cousin was just counting down the days before she could officially join You-Know-Who, and only a bit less certain that Narcissa would follow her almost fiancé to kiss his feet. Slytherin might have a few good people, and he knew that his own mother didn't hold the same views as most of the Blacks (she had, after all, married a muggle), but the house never looked less appealing.
Now, three days had passed since Remus returned, and he was only starting to gain back his usual countenance. For the second time, he'd arrived looking exhausted, spending the entire day in bed, and neglecting the plate of food they'd brought him from the Great Hall. The following day, he still looked very tired, but had managed to eat, attend classes, and do his homework before nearly collapsing into his bed. It was a good thing he was feeling better today, Severus thought, because it would be a shame to miss out on the Halloween Feast. Everyone with a parent who had attended Hogwarts had reminisced about this feast, and all five males of Gryffindor were eagerly anticipating it.
One downside of it being the end of October was the chilly weather. It had become so cold that students could hardly leave the castle (which, at a minimum, was necessary for entering the greenhouses for Herbology and the Astronomy Tower for their weekly midnight class) without extra socks, and warming charms for their robes. Even the castle halls felt drafty. Severus was glad that his mum had warned him about the chilly falls and even colder winters before he'd left, and made sure he knew how to perform a warming charm before almost anything else.
Not that it was particularly advanced-about the same level of difficulty as the hover charm. The other marauders managed it easily enough, but Peter still struggled with it, and often needed one of his roommates' help. He was improving, though, and Severus thought he'd be able to cast the spell without any difficulty within a week or so. On the day of Halloween, once everyone was well equipped for the drafty castle, they headed downstairs and remained in front of the closed kitchens to savor the smells of the feast that they would enjoy later that day.
"Mmm. I smell treacle tart," James observed, getting a dreamy look on his face.
Severus nodded, feeling his own mouth begin to water. "I think I smell eclairs."
"Oh, I can smell those. Wonder if there will be jam tarts," Sirius added, grinning at Remus, who smiled back.
"Oh, there's little there won't be," James replied with confidence, taking another deep breath. "Mum and Dad would tell me all about the Halloween Feasts here. They've told me it's the best feast of the year."
"Move on, first years!" one of the older students called. "The feast won't arrive any faster with your drooling over it."
"We're not drooling," Peter protested, half-heartedly.
However, reluctantly, they moved away from the heavenly wafts and in the direction of the delicious, yet not quite heavenly, odor of the Great Hall. They sat down in their usual group-Peter on one side of James and Sirius on the other-with Severus and Remus across the table from them.
It felt so natural, now, that Severus couldn't believe they had nearly become enemies on the train. The girls of their year sat near them, but distinctly apart. Lily was in the middle of two girls, Marlene McKinnon and Alice Longbottom, both from pure-blood families, but whose families had a history of being Sorted into Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.
He helped himself to his own porridge, savoring the taste. It was much better than the undercooked porridge his mother had prepared. The raisins and sugar certainly enhanced the taste.
"Muggles celebrate Halloween too, you know," Remus murmured, after taking an appreciative whiff in the way of the kitchens.
"Oh, really? What do they do?" Sirius asked, now helping himself to porridge from the bowl.
"For the kids, trick-or-treating. Costume parties and the like for the adults," Severus answered, as Remus had just taken a mouthful of food and couldn't reply. At the look of confusion on James' and Sirius' faces, he further explained. "Kids get dressed up in some kind of costume, then they go house to house in their neighborhood and yell out, 'trick or treat!' The adults give them each a candy bar or some kind of sweet. Goes on for a couple of hours, and the kids return with bags loaded with sweets."
"That sounds fun, but why the 'trick' part?" Sirius wondered.
Remus, who had swallowed by now, answered for Severus. "You'd like that bit, Sirius. James, you as well." He waited, rather dramatically, before explaining further. "If the adult won't give you a treat, that gives you free reign to play a trick on them. Some kids toilet paper the house of an adult who won't hand out treats."
"Wicked," Sirius grinned, rubbing his hands together. "Ohhh, that does sound like fun."
"The tricks sound like fun, but I don't fancy having to do all that work for sweets," James said, thoughtfully.
Sirius shrugged. "Any holiday that allows playing pranks on people gets my vote."
"You can only play the prank if they don't give out sweets," Severus pointed out, with a wry grin.
"Aw, why can't I do both?" James complained, but his twinkled.
"The adults would get rightly angry if they spend pounds on sweets for kids only to get their houses egged and toilet papered in exchange," Severus remarked. "They can't fix it with magic."
"Yeah, I suppose you're right," James answered with an affected sigh.
"Have you ever been trick-or-treating?" Sirius asked, glancing at the others.
"I did, some years," Remus answered. "But there weren't many homes in my neighborhood. Besides, we always had chocolates at home."
"I went last year, and the year before that," Severus recalled. "I went with Lily Evans both times. I had fun."
His mum had agreed to let him go, and his father had gotten drunk (as usual) after his work had let him off. Severus had taken a few of his sweets home and hid them under his mattress, but let Lily have the bulk of them. Better she enjoy them than they end up with the rubbish. And receive a beating for participating in a trivial holiday. Or, nearly as bad, his mum being beaten for not encouraging him to act more normal.
His father's views were often inconsistent when it came down to Severus and his wife, but most of what they did would result in his violence.
Thinking about this filled Severus with anger, and he forced himself to breathe slowly.
He thought about having spent the time with Lily, instead. Her mum had taken the both of them. One of the few disappointments she'd had, over discovering that she'd be at Hogwarts for most of the year, was missing out on Halloween. Even though Severus reassured her that the Feast had every kind of sweet she could imagine, she said that part of the fun was going house to house for them. Severus, despite participating in the muggle version of the holiday for two consecutive years, couldn't see why she was so disappointed.
"My dad took me before Hogwarts," Peter put in. "My mum went once, too."
"Doesn't sound like the type of thing my family would let my brother and me do, unless other pure-bloods were involved," Sirius noted. "They'd say we were begging for sweets, and that's unbecoming for a member of the House of Black."
"I reckon my dad would have allowed it, had he known about it," James mused. "He loves that sort of thing, although he likely would have teased me about 'begging' for sweets."
That seemed to end the conversation, and they went ahead and finished their breakfasts.
The students in years three and up had been excused from classes to attend Hogsmeade for the first time that year, but the first and second years had their morning classes. Afternoons were free, it being a Friday, but it felt a bit unfair to be left out of the festivities that nearly the entire school was a part of.
"We'll go next year," James promised. "Dad says there are seven passages outside of the castle to Hogsmeade, but he wants me to learn them on my own. Says it will be more fun that way. And Mum agrees, although I reckon she'd prefer I wait until I'm old enough."
That made having to go to class a bit easier.
Fridays meant Charms, where they learned how to make objects fly (and of course, everyone except Peter was an expert at this), and Transfiguration. In the spirit of the upcoming holiday, Professor McGonagall stunned them all by turning into a cat in front of them, and then spent the next fifteen minutes explaining about animagi, or witches and wizards who could transform themselves in an animal at will.
Sirius raised his hand. "Can it be any animal you like, or just one?"
"Only one, and you can't choose it, Black," she explained. "Once you complete the process, you turn into the animal that best matches your personality and abilities. It could be anything from a lion to an insect. So, if you're thinking of undertaking the process once you're of age, you'd do well to keep that in mind," she added, warningly.
James raised his hand, then, and spoke once McGonagall called on him. "Can you find out before completing the process what your animal would be, so you know if you want to finish it?"
The Transfiguration teacher smiled. "A complex question, Potter. There are tests that you can perform to determine which animal you are likely to become, but you know nothing definitively until the process is complete. Now, let us turn our attention to our marbles, and try to turn them into butterflies."
As they worked, the five of them chatted quietly. McGonagall didn't usually like people to talk in her class, even her best students, but she must have been feeling generous, it being a holiday.
"Would any of you want to go through all that? Becoming an Animagus?" James asked, as his butterfly flew around the room.
Sirius shook his head. "Not if I found out I'd end up a tick or something foul like that."
Severus shrugged. "I'd prefer to know what animal I'd become before going through all the work. Some kind of bird would be best."
"But you don't even like to ride a broom!" James protested, with a laugh.
"Because you can fall of those," Severus explained, for only the tenth time. "Animals with wings know how to use them. I wouldn't be afraid."
"They still fall, if there's a predator on the loose," Sirius pointed out, with a grin.
"Then I'd use my superior human brain and get out of the way," Severus smirked. "Might not work on your end."
"Hey!" Sirius protested, but he was laughing.
"Peter? What do you think?" Remus asked.
He shrugged. "I'd just be happy to make it to that point, but I suppose a lion or a tiger would be pretty neat."
"You don't want to fly, then?" Severus asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Well, most birds are prey animals, and lions and tigers are at the top of the food chain," Peter pointed out. "I'd feel safer, there."
"McGonagall did all right with a house cat," James murmured under his breath. "No predators, and every kid who doesn't know any better and sees her tries to pet her."
"Unlike Mrs. Norris," Severus noted, with a smirk. "Who would bite the hand off of any student who tried."
Potions was equally enjoyable, but Severus always enjoyed that class the most. Slughorn was known to choose favorites, but in spite of being the head of Slytherin, he didn't necessarily favor that house. Of their year, Severus and Lily were his pets, but James and Sirius weren't far below them in his eyes.
They spent the afternoon finishing their weekend assignments, and then James convinced them to explore the castle with him.
"We won't need my cloak, since it's nowhere near curfew," he told them, "and with just the first and second year students, it won't be at all crowded. Maybe," he added, with a grin, "we'll stumble upon one of the entrances to Hogsmeade!"
The castle was certainly colder than the Gryffindor Common Room, but after reapplying heating charms to their robes, everyone was comfortable.
"Without seeming like a spoilsport, I'm rather glad that we're here and not in Hogsmeade," Remus commented, after the charms had been applied. "It's bound to be nearly freezing."
"Not in the shops, though, and butterbeer warms you right up. Besides, they're likely wearing cloaks and scarves, not just school robes," James pointed out, as they climbed one of the staircases.
"What's butterbeer?" asked Severus, pausing at the top to catch his breath.
"It's amazing, even better than hot chocolate," James explained, helpfully. "Dad bought me some for my birthday. Tastes delicious, warms your whole insides. My mouth's watering just thinking about it." He paused. "Maybe I can ask him for some for Christmas. I'll share with you, of course."
"I'll believe it's better than hot chocolate when I taste it," Remus quipped, but he was grinning.
"You will," James said, with confidence.
"Say, d'you know if we have to get new robes for the winter months?" Remus asked. "It's only going to get colder from here on out."
"Our shopping list didn't specify anything for the different seasons," Severus answered, "and I'd think Mum would tell me if she needed to buy me new ones."
"We should be fine, just as long as we apply those heating charms," Sirius said, with confidence. "Anyway, I don't expect the castle will get too much colder. Andromeda says they'll make more fires as it gets chillier."
"Woolen robes would be awfully uncomfortable," Peter put in. "We'd be scratching ourselves nonstop."
"Not if we wore our regular ones underneath, you prat," James reminded him.
"We'd look like mummies if we did that," Severus mused. "Not to mention, we wouldn't be able to move our arms nearly as freely. Say, let's try that door!"
They were having so much fun exploring that they only barely made it to the start of the Feast on time, and it was quite magnificent. All of the first years looked around in awe, even some of the Slytherins who pretended to be above that. But the decorations were nothing compared to the food. Every sort of dish that had been at the Sorting feast were there, and then some hearty dishes that tasted incredible in the cold weather. Not to mention, the desserts included all sorts of sweets, many of which Severus had never seen before.
"Careful with some of those," James warned him, before he could take a red lollipop. "Dad says that those are blood lollipops."
Severus immediately withdrew his hand. "How can you tell?"
"See the way the color reflects on the wrapper? That's how," James explained. "And you don't want to eat those, as they're acid pops. They'll burn a hole in your tongue."
He nodded towards another red lollipop.
"Why would they serve them, if they're not meant for us to eat?" Remus asked, gingerly putting a few of his treats back to the center of the table.
"Because you're meant to know, or be told by older students," Sirius returned. "Everything else is fine, though, right?"
James nodded. "Well, the cockroach cluster tastes nasty, but yeah, the rest is all right."
Severus was about to point out that muggle treats were a good deal safer, but realized that wasn't entirely true. He'd nearly burnt a hole in his mouth from an Atomic Fireball as a kid. His dad had given him milk to drink, which was meant to be better for the heat than water. It was one of his few good memories of his father.
He wondered how his mum was getting along. He hadn't heard from her since her owl at the start of the term, even though he'd written back almost immediately. If she didn't write in another week, he would send another owl.
Thinking about her hurt. She was still with his awful father, likely being hurt even more, while he was at Hogwarts, enjoying good food and having real friends. He knew she would be happy for him, and that she was an adult, and yet...
Severus pushed these feelings down and focused on the feast and his friends.
Stuffed with good food, and pockets filled with more treats to enjoy later, the five of them headed upstairs and slept especially soundly that night.
The next morning, the Slytherin table was positively gleeful. Before Severus could guess why, Bellatrix strode over with a copy of the Daily Prophet, looking like a rather darker version of her younger sister.
"Look here, Sirius!" she crowed, placing it in front of him. Tossing her hair to the side, she added, "And don't think you're safe because of us. He can smell blood traitors from France."
They all studied the heading: Halloween Prank or You-Know-Who's Work: Five children of prominent witches and wizards go missing, then found dead.
Notes:
Next up: Severus receives unexpected news from his mother, and the Christmas holidays draw near.
As always, constructive feedback is most appreciated!
Chapter 11
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus was annoyed to discover that the article Bellatrix had forced upon them actually revealed very little. It named several children and noted that they had been traveling in a group. Then, it listed their ages-the oldest was thought to be around thirteen years of age, and the youngest around eight. They had been dressed in muggle costumes at the time, and it had been speculated that they had been on their way to or from a Halloween party. Their parents were, of course, unable to give much in the way of comment.
"I expect the older ones were being homeschooled, since the Prophet claims they're from wizarding families," Peter mused.
"But why would You-Know-Who attack children?" James asked, reading over the article once more.
"He didn't like their parents? Anyway, it could have been Death Eaters having fun, and not caring who they killed," Sirius put in. With a glare at the Slytherin table, he added, "No wonder Bella's so happy."
"She wouldn't want him to kill you, would she?" Peter asked. "You're her family."
Sirius shrugged. "My whole family is into the pure-blood nonsense, and my parents think that You-Know-Who is completely right. Not sure if they think half-bloods and muggle-borns should be killed...except Bella, maybe. She's dark."
Severus shivered. He was a half-blood, after all. Just how safe was he? Or his mum, come to think of it? He didn't know a ton about her family, only that they disowned her after she married a muggle.
Glancing at the table, it looked like most of Slytherins looked elated as well, but perhaps that was Severus' imagination.
Sirius folded up the paper with a look of disdain on his face. Before he could say anything, the flock of owls arrived, and within seconds, one dropped a letter by his breakfast. It wasn't a red one, either.
"Oh, it's from my favorite uncle!" Sirius grinned as he saw the return address.
Severus opened his mouth to respond, but became distracted when another owl dropped a letter by his plate. He grabbed at it as soon as he saw it was from his mother, then ripped it open, all thoughts of his breakfast abandoned.
My dear Severus,
I am writing to you to give you some news that will, I hope, you will be happy to hear. Put plainly, I have left your father. Severus, I should have left him when you were a baby, and begged my family to forgive me and accept us back into the Prince House. As it is, I fear that it is far too late for that. However, I have started a new life, and I hope you will not be too ashamed of me to be a part of it.
A week after receiving your letter, I journeyed to Hogsmeade in search of work. I did not truly expect to find anything, but your father had been more volatile since you went off to school, and he had taken to drink away even more of his wages than before. My cousin Hilda, as I learned, had opened an inn in Hogsmeade five years ago. It had become very successful, and she was in need of more help. To condense a very long story, she hired me because of my skills and our familial relation. After a week, I believed I could trust her enough to tell her the truth about my husband and how he had treated us. She immediately offered to house me in one of the rooms for a small portion-a pittance, really-from my wages.
The room is smaller than our house, but certainly large enough for two people. There are two large beds, and when you visit during the summer (if you so choose), we can hang a curtain to provide you with some privacy. I know that you will be twelve soon, and should not have to share a room with your mother. I am hopeful, however, that I will have saved enough by the end of your second year to move to a cottage on the other side of Hogsmeade. There are some available for rent that are quite a good bargain. As it is, Hilda pays me ten galleons a week, and since my meals are covered by the inn, my only expenses will be for your schooling.
Your father signed the documents for divorce without any complaint, so we will not have to worry about that.
Please write soon, especially if you wish to visit for any of you school holidays.
With love,
Mum
Severus read the letter three times, disbelief turning into respect for his mother. He realized that he hadn't thought much of her, not really, until now. Oh, he knew that she loved him, but his failure to protect him from his father had meant she was hardly a protector. Worth protecting, perhaps, yet hardly someone he could really respect. Certainly not after what he had heard about the others' parents (well, except Sirius'). And while he felt a bit let down that he would not be able to hex his father upon returning home, he was also rather relieved that this would not be a battle he would need to fight.
The others, he realized, upon putting the letter down, were staring at him. Even Sirius, who must have finished reading his uncle's letter.
"All right, Severus?" Remus asked, giving him a gentle smile.
He nodded abruptly, then slowly grinned. "Mum's left my father. She's gone to work for a cousin in Hogsmeade, and she's living there."
The other marauders, who knew directly or indirectly about the abuse Tobias Snape had inflicted upon his wife and son, looked relieved. Happy for Severus, too.
Sirius, who was sitting next to him, put an arm around his shoulder. "That's great, mate."
Remus, sitting on the other side of him, squeezed his hand. "You must be relieved."
"Yes, I am," Severus answered, truthfully.
He felt a bit let down, of course, that his father wouldn't pay for his crimes, but he couldn't say that here.
His friends likely knew this, anyway.
"Mum wants to know if I'll visit her during the school holidays," he continued. "Have any of you thought about your plans for Christmas?"
Until now, he had planned on staying at the castle, but he didn't know about the others. Lily would be returning home to see her family, and likely try to reconcile once more with her sister. Never mind that Petunia hadn't written her one letter since Lily had left for school, and while the owl post was the fastest, there were people working in the post office who could certainly deliver a letter to Lily. Dumbledore receiving her letter nearly a year ago had proved that.
"I'll be returning home," Remus answered, "but I'll be staying here for the Easter holidays. Dad says the teachers will give us loads of homework then, so if we don't get a head start, that's all we'll be doing."
"Dad said the same," James added, with a nod. "I already asked them what work they'll be giving us, and took notes. We can get started right away. It's mostly essays. Oh, and I reckon I'll be staying here, because the festivities are supposed to be incredible."
"I'll be staying, 'cept I don't plan on telling my parents until the last minute," Sirius put in. "Don't want to get another Howler."
"Our ears are still ringing from her last one," James teased.
Sirius attempted a glare, but ended up grinning. "She probably made history for the longest Howler for something stupid."
Severus snorted.
"Well, Mum and Dad don't want me to stay," Peter added, looking disappointed. "They say they'll think it over for next year."
"Afraid you'll get into trouble?" Severus asked him, with a smile.
Peter chuckled, but shook his head. "No, it's only as they haven't seen me since the start of term, and they'd rather not wait until April or June."
"That's two of us, myself and Sirius," James noted. "Severus? What about you?"
He shrugged. "I'd like to see how my mum is, especially without my father around. It would be nice if I could spend a week with her and a week here."
"You can, just ask McGonagall," Remus told him. "You'd take the train...well, you'd likely take a Portkey, since your mum lives in Hogsmeade."
"No, the train makes a stop in Hogsmeade," James corrected. "They make more stops during the holidays, and that's the first. Since it's an all wizarding village, some of our classmates live there. No sense in having to travel all the way to King's Cross if you're just going back. Not for a holiday, anyway. And," he added, "I believe you can ask McGonagall about going back here after the first week. But you'll need to check."
"I'll do that," Severus decided. "Thanks, James."
"We'll do loads of exploring while you're gone, and we can show you all the secret passages and shortcuts we've found once you return," Sirius added, grinning.
"Not that we've managed all that well with the secret passages," James added, a bit disgruntled. "Still, we've got over six and a half years left to look."
Severus smiled at the two of them. When he'd first started school and been Sorted into Gryffindor, the idea of spending a week alone with James Potter and Sirius Black would have made him choose going up against his father without his wand. Now, though, he had no doubt that they would ever intentionally hurt him.
"I'd take a shortcut over a secret passage," Remus put in, taking another piece of toast. "Do you realize how far the Astronomy tower is from the Gryffindor one? If we could figure out a route that would take us directly to the Hufflepuff House..."
James lightly slapped him on the back. "On it, mate. Oh, look, another round of owl post!"
"I better not have gotten another Howler," Sirius groaned.
Luckily enough for Sirius, there was no red envelope.
Remus, on the other hand, got a package that was carried by two owls. He looked a bit embarrassed as he tucked it into his bag without opening it.
Sirius and James, perhaps seeing his expression, didn't pry, but Peter didn't share their tact.
"What have you got there, Remus?" he asked, between mouthfuls of eggs.
"Say it, Peter, don't spray it!" Sirius grumbled, giving him a (from Severus' line of vision) a not so gentle shove.
Remus chuckled. "It's nothing terribly special. Not chocolate or anything like that," he explained. "Just some, er, toiletries. From my parents."
Sirius changed the subject to suggesting they explore the third floor again after lunch, and they all agreed.
Severus, using the excuse of having forgotten to brush his teeth before breakfast, followed Remus into the bathroom. His friend unwrapped the parcel to reveal a large bottle of the shampoo and conditioner. Severus felt his stomach turn as he realized he had been using not school shampoo, but his friend's, since his first day in the tower.
He had to say something. He couldn't continue to steal from his friend, even though he hadn't realized he had been doing so. He would have to pay Remus back, as well...
"Remus, I, er, thought those were provided by the elves as well, and, uh, have been using them," he managed to get out. "I'm sorry, I'll pay you back for them..."
Not that he had much pocket money, but perhaps his mother would let him work with him in Hogsmeade that summer.
Remus put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Severus. That's why I put them out, for anyone who wanted them to use. Anyway," he added, "they're not expensive, not like the stuff James and Sirius uses." Remus gave Severus' shoulder a squeeze. "I'd thought that you or Peter, or both, had been using it. Really, I was surprised they had lasted as long as it had."
Severus forced himself to look in his friend's eyes. "I didn't mean to steal from you. I thought it was provided by the school."
"You didn't steal from me, Severus," Remus insisted. "Really, you didn't. I put them out for everyone. It's not as though you went through my trunk. Do you notice how James and Sirius always bring their items in? Sure, they'll give you a handful if you need it, but it's theirs. I didn't want to bother with that. Really. You don't need to pay me."
"Well," Severus conceded, "I'll be more careful about how much I use. And see if my mum can get some...she's working now, so..."
He trailed off.
"If you like," Remus allowed, with a smile. "What did you use before, anyway?"
"Soap," Severus said, with a shrug. "My father told my mother he didn't want her wasting his hard-earned money so we could smell like flowers-to put it mildly-so we used that on our hair as well as our bodies. It worked well enough-neither of us got lice or ticks or anything."
Of course, it gave both of their hair a dull, lank appearance. His mother could pull her hair back in a bun and hide some of the lankness, but Severus couldn't.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Remus began, cautiously. At Severus' nod, he added, "Why do you keep your hair...rather on the long side?"
Severus lifted up his hair and motioned for Remus to stand behind him. Starting at the base of his neck, he knew, were a mixture of burns and scars.
Remus gasped before he could control himself, and Severus lowered his hair and faced him, knowing his face looked grim. "All the work of my dear father," he said, grimly. "Mum's great at Potions-she won all sorts of awards when she was here-but we didn't have the ingredients available that Slughorn does. Anyway, she reckons you need a Healer to get rid of the scarring, and that would cost money we didn't have."
"You could go to Madam Pomfrey," Remus offered. "I expect she could remove the-the marks."
"You think so?" Severus asked, skepticism making his voice sound harsher than he intended.
To his surprised, Remus smiled. "Sure. It's not dark magic, is it? She could heal you up in less than a day. Less than an hour, probably."
Severus shrugged, although he tried not to let the hope show on his face. "Well, maybe. She'd probably talk, though."
To his relief, Remus simply nodded, and just put an arm around Severus. They headed out of the bathroom.
Notes:
Feedback is most welcome! 😁
Chapter 12
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Mr. Snape, kindly remain after class," Professor McGonagall said, in her usual crisp manner. "Class dismissed."
Severus wasn't overly concerned. Being asked to remain afterwards wasn't necessarily cause for discipline. In fact, most of the teachers at Hogwarts rarely detained students for this reason, preferring to issue the taking of points or assigning of detentions in front of other students.
Neither of which he had received as a punishment since his arrival, although James and Sirius had received a handful of lost points apiece. They earned plenty, though, so no one minded.
Anyway, he had just submitted his request to spend a week of the Christmas holidays at school, so he imagined his head of house was going to tell him her decision.
Severus walked to her desk, waiting until everyone else had left.
"I received your request, Mr. Snape," she began. "Your mother's move to Hogsmeade makes it relatively simple to grant."
"Thank you, Professor," Severus answered, gratefully.
She gave him a nod. "Some of the older students spend part of the holidays with family and the other part at school, but they are generally the fifth and seventh year students. May I ask why you wish to do so?"
"I would like to spend some of the time with my housemates," Severus began, slowly, "but I received news from my mother that..." He stopped, not sure how much he wanted to tell. Or could tell. It was one thing for his roommates to know of his father's abuse. Another for his teacher, even if she was his head of house. Especially since his mother had abandoned the man. "I would like to see her," he finished, rather lamely.
McGonagall studied him. "Mr. Snape, I am aware that your father is a muggle, and that your mother is no longer living with him. If you are having any difficulty, please know that you can speak with your Prefect..."
Severus shook his head. "It's fine, ma'am. My father and I were not...we did not have a very..."
He trailed off again.
She nodded, her stern face softening. "If you do have a change of mind, your Prefect can be a resource, or provide someone who may help."
Severus nodded. "Thank you, Professor."
"With regards to your original request, there will be carriages departing from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts at noon on the day after Christmas. You won't need a ticket, simply arrive at the train station promptly. The carriages to Hogsmeade will depart from the grounds to Hogsmeade on the first day of the holiday."
"Thank you," Severus repeated, glad to be done with the questioning. "I won't forget."
"I expect you won't," she said, offering a small smile. "I shall write you a note to explain your lateness to your next class."
The next class being History of Magic, it hardly seemed necessary, but Severus was hardly about to say so. He accepted the note and left, glad that he knew his way around the corridors well enough that he wouldn't get lost without a classmate.
Binns was droning on about some goblin war, so Severus left the parchment on his desk before taking a seat next to Remus and behind James and Sirius, who were reading from a book. Peter, on the other side of James, looked like he was losing the battle against falling asleep. Sirius turned around.
"All right?" he mouthed.
Severus nodded, feeling warm at having friends who cared.
Oh, he knew that Lily cared, but he had never told her about the beatings.
He would have kept it a secret from the others, had Sirius not walked in and seen him. But not now. He wasn't glad that they knew, exactly, but he was relieved. He didn't have to hide so much, and they had offered him understanding.
James and Sirius gave him the thumbs up sign, and Remus gave him a smile, having looked up from attempting to take notes.
They resumed their own ways of trying to endure the next half hour or so, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when Binns dismissed them.
"Do not forget your essay on the Goblin Revolt of 1618 is due next Thursday," he added, but few paid him any mind.
"Already finished mine," Sirius said, with a grin.
So had Severus. It had been the most boring assignment he had had this year, but it was finished.
"Did McGonagall want to talk to you about your holiday request?" Remus asked, once they were in the corridor.
"Yes," he answered, a bit more shortly than he intended. At the looks from the others, he added, "She agreed, but tried to pry into my home life. Said she knew my father is a muggle and they're divorced."
"At least she cares enough to ask," Remus pointed out.
Severus shrugged. "She told me to talk to my Prefect if I had any problems. Nothing against Frank Longbottom, but can you imagine telling him what he did to us?"
"I reckon half the kids in Slytherin are messed up by their parents," Sirius murmured, darkly. "But can you see Slughorn doing anything? Too busy planning his parties."
Severus snorted. "At least the professors can't hit us. My mum said they were when she was there. And worse. Glad that’s done, even if Filch grouses over not being able to whip us senseless."
His face must have darkened, because James immediately slung an arm around his shoulders. "Like you can talk, Sev. How many points have you lost this term?"
"None," James answered for him, also putting an arm around Sirius' shoulder, and grinning. "Unlike us...how many has it been, Sirius?"
"Twenty-five for me, twenty-seven for you. Course, I earned one hundred and twenty, and you got one hundred and sixteen," Sirius answered promptly.
"How do you remember that?" Peter asked, awestruck.
"We tally them up at the end of each day," James explained, proudly. “My goal is to earn five hundred by the end of the year and lose no more than one hundred and one."
"You don't have to lose any at all," Severus pointed out. "Just don't get caught."
The others snickered, even though Remus rolled his eyes.
"You look a bit like the characters in The Wizard of Oz, standing like that," Remus grinned.
Severus, who had seen the movie, let out a chuckle, but James and Sirius stared blankly. They did let go of each other's shoulders, though, and continued their walk to the Gryffindor tower.
"It's a muggle movie," Remus explained. "A good one, too."
"Well, except for the wizard being--"
Remus pressed a finger to his lips conspiratorially. "Don't spoil the ending!"
"Oh, all right," he agreed. "Not that we'd be able to see it here."
Too much magic in the castle.
"It's based on books, though," Remus mused. "I have the set at home."
"I'd like to read them, if you will lend them out," Sirius said.
"Sure. I'll pack them up when I'm home for the holidays," Remus agreed.
"I'd like to take a look, too," Severus added. "Muggles have a funny way of writing our kind, from what my mum says."
He'd only read a couple, having had to borrow them from Lily. And he was loathe to do so, mostly because his father might throw them out.
"Of course," Remus agreed.
They found four comfortable chairs in front the fireplace, which was roaring and wonderfully warm. Severus sighed as he lowered himself into his seat. Having no homework to do, Severus could lounge in front of the flames, after removing his boots from his feet, until dinner time.
"Anyone up for a game of Chess?" James asked. Teasingly, he added, "Not Sev, as he's moments away from sleep."
Eyes closed, Severus snorted. "I was up late working on that History of Magic essay."
He felt a cloak being placed over him, then tucked over his shoulders. Severus couldn’t hold back a murmur of appreciation. “Thanks.”
"Not sure why, as we still have another week," Sirius chided, and even though his eyes were closed, he could feel his friend tuck the cloak’s edges around his feet. Severus breathed deeply, savoring the added warmth. "James, I'll play you, but be prepared to loose dreadfully."
"Fighting words, those are!” James laughed.
Severus wasn’t sure if he’d actually fall asleep, as comfortable as he felt. Even with the common room relatively empty, he was aware of the people still present. But they wouldn’t hurt him. Severus adjusted his head so the back cushion served as a perfect pillow. He felt a hand on his head, then a voice urging him to rest.
After an indeterminate amount of time, Severus became aware of his surroundings. Even with his eyes closed. Once they were opened, he saw Remus in front of him, a hand on his shoulder, saying it was time for dinner.
"We can take you a plate if you like," James added, speaking softly.
Severus stretched. "No, I—I’ll join you."
He removed the cloak and handed it to Sirius, who nodded his thanks. Once his feet were back in his shoes, Severus rose from the chair, still sleepy, but alert.
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome!
Notes:
Next up: the holidays begin!
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Chapter 13
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The remaining weeks before the Christmas holidays passed quickly. Remus was, once again, out in mid December, explaining that his father had once again contacted a cold. Since his mother was a muggle, it made sense that Remus had needed to help out, but didn't Remus have other magical family members nearby? As they had come to expect, Remus returned looking as exhausted as he usually did upon returning home for a few days.
"It should be a bit easier for you next term, eh?" Sirius asked him the day after he returned, which was a Saturday. "Surely your parents will be happy enough that you're going home for Christmas and won't be nagging you to leave school every few weeks afterwards?"
Severus knew Sirius wasn't being flippant, and so did Remus. It wasn't an issue that Remus missed a couple of days of classes-not to their teachers, anyway. He always turned in his assignments on time, and Severus knew that his grades were good.
It was the exhaustion that followed him after he returned to school. Right now, Remus looked considerably better than he had when he returned, having spent Friday excused from classes, and slept the whole time. Or, at least, he had been asleep when he had arrived right before breakfast, and was still asleep when they returned. Didn't his family see how worn out they were making him?
"I couldn't say. My parents told the headmaster that family obligations would take me away from school fairly often, and he was quite understanding," Remus answered, shrugging a bit. "I sometimes get quite ill as well, although that hasn't happened this year, thankfully."
The other boys exchanged looks as though to say, "Well, obviously."
At breakfast, Severus was both pleased and astonished to receive another owl from his mother-that included ten galleons. Her missive included instructions that he was to use to purchase this money Christmas gifts for his friends.
A part of Severus wondered if she could afford to give him that much money. She was earning ten galleons a week, and even if her room and board were included, surely she had other expenses? Well, perhaps not. Didn't maids usually wear a uniform? In any event, Severus could hardly send it back without seeming ungrateful.
At least, he thought as he turned over the coins in his hands, he wouldn't have to forgo giving gifts to his roommates.
He would have to do a lot of thinking to determine what they would like. Two and a half galleons for each of them felt like a fortune, but that was only because Severus was lucky to have a sickle to spend before. Over the next several days, before the end of term, he scanned the catalogues with his friends, as they seemed to be readily available for perusal. They were all looking for ideas without being too obvious, and he could hear the girls throwing out hints to their friends without trying to appear obvious.
It seemed rather silly to be exchanging gifts, as he knew that Sirius and James came from extremely well-to-do families. Nothing he could buy them would be close to what their parents would buy for Christmas. James, anyway. Was Sirius more or less disowned because of his sorting, or would his family still give him presents, as appearances meant so much to them? No one was going to ask, of course.
All the same, it was rather fun, looking at the catalogs. They were full of presents ranging in value from a few knuts to hundreds of galleons. Severus spent several days searching and making notes on parchment before making his purchases.
In the end, he purchased a large container of Remus' favorite chocolates from Honeydukes for him and, similarly, an assorted box of sweets for Peter. He bought James a newly published book about famous Chasers, as he knew he wanted to try out for the Quidditch team the following year. For Sirius, he ordered a book on famous witches and wizards who were not of pure-blood descent-and hoped that James hadn't beat him to it. Finally, for Lily, he purchased a stuffed lion that was charmed to roar and "interact charmingly" (which he took to mean give cuddles to) with the first person who opened it-and growl at anyone the person directed it to. Petunia would not be amused if she made that list.
That left him nearly a galleon (sixteen sickles and five knuts, to be precise), so he ordered a small, yet tasteful, necklace for his mother. It didn't contain any real jewels, only a chain with a butterfly in the middle, but it looked pretty from the picture, and as she likely wasn't expecting anything, she would hopefully be pleased and surprised.
He still had five sickles left, which he pocketed for future use. Perhaps purchasing sweets on the train next September. He had only had a handful of knuts to spend last time.
Yes, Severus submitted the order form, feeling pleased enough with his purchases, and had them sent out via owl with the instructions that the owls were not to deliver them until Christmas Day. Sure, he could just hand them to his friends, but where was the fun in that?
The way the break fell that year, there would be a week off before Christmas, and another week beginning the day after. Severus and his mother had finalized his plans so that he would visit for the first week, and would return the day following Christmas. He would not be taking a train, as it turned out, but go via the carriages pulled by the invisible thestrals used to go from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts by the non-first year students on the first day. Most of the student body would travel this way, but as fewer students were visiting family in Hogsmeade, this would be their first stop home.
Severus had hoped to sit with Lily in the carriages, but she was surrounded by a group of of her own friends. He only recognized three fellow Gryffindor girls from his year. Were the others from other houses, or older students from their house? He couldn't tell.
Looking back on the term, he realized that he hadn't spent nearly as much time with Lily as he would have expected. All that talk about wanting to be in the same house, and he'd ended up speaking far more time with the two boys he was sure he would be enemies with, instead. It just went to show you that you couldn't rely on first impressions. It wasn't that Lily had become enemies with Sirius or James, but she had formed her own group of girl friends. Severus knew that she was very popular. He was happy for her, but he hoped that they would spend some more time together the following term.
Which led Severus to think about his own roommates. While the five Gryffindors of his year got along well, Severus knew that James and Sirius were the most liked, the popular ones. There was no doubt that they were extremely smart, funny, and good-looking. They also spent so much time around each other that some of the teachers had taken to referring them as brothers. Nor would this be an entirely false thing to declare. Sirius and James, like most of the pure-blooded families, were distantly related. It was hard to find a pure-blood family who didn't have some ancestor in common with another one. Severus knew that his mother's family had been pure-blood, so he likely had a relation that was of a second cousin or something of one of James or Sirius', but being only a half-blood, he felt that the connection was not as strong. Not that it mattered to James and Sirius that the others weren't of pure wizarding descent, but it certainly connected them...really, had Severus not found his place in this group, he might have wished he'd ended up in Slytherin, after all.
James and Sirius were staying at the castle, so they helped as the others packed. That is, they tried to help with the packing, but they ended up getting in the way so much that even Remus asked them to stop trying to help. In the end, they sat on varying beds and asked the others questions about their family traditions.
Severus did more listening than talking. Growing up, if he was lucky, his father would be at the pub, getting drunk with his friends. He would fall asleep-somewhere-and when he arrived the next day, he'd be too hungover to do much except sleep the day away. His mum and him would have a small celebration, perhaps a tea and cake, although nothing as extravagant as a Christmas tree. Once, Eileen had made Severus a shirt from one of her old robes, and it looked half-decent. But, for the most part, presents weren't something Severus had received as a kid.
Lily had invited him over, but his mum had always refused. It was one thing to go trick-or-treating or visit their house during the rest of the year, but Christmas was for Lily and her family. Even though Lily had protested, Severus' mum would not be swayed.
He wasn't sure what to expect this time around, really, but it had to be better than hoping his father would be too plastered to give him and his mum a beating. Anyway, since the inn was in Hogsmeade, Severus thought he could walk around the village, even if he didn't have any pocket money remaining to make purchases.
They all woke up fairly early the next day. James and Sirius didn't have to, of course, because they were staying at the castle, but they insisted on seeing off Severus and Remus and Peter. The five of them headed into the Great Hall around nine, trunks still in their bedroom, to eat breakfast.
Severus made sure to eat a big one, as he didn't know if he'd be able to eat lunch that day. The carriages were coming at noon, and even though his mum had said she'd meet him at the station, she might not be able to get away. He just hoped that he would be able to find the inn, if she wasn't there.
"Are you going to look for secret passages while we're gone?" he asked James, who was sitting next to him.
James swallowed a piece of sausage before nodding. "Nick won't give us any clues, but he'll tell us if we're in the right direction. I'm hoping to find one that leads to Hogsmeade."
"My mum says that one of them is over the Whomping Willow," Peter volunteered. "That's probably why they put the tree up. Too many students using it."
Sirius frowned. "Why go to the trouble of putting a tree there, even if it does hit you back?"
Peter shrugged. "It's just what she said," he mumbled.
"I believe you," James reassured him. "Just reckon it's a shame that they had to plant the Whomping Willow there, of all places."
"Too many troublemakers using it," Remus grinned.
"Well, if you knew a good Stunning Charm," Severus mused. "Mind you, it would take years of training to get it to work on that..."
"I wouldn't risk it," Remus murmured. "I rather fancy keeping my arms and limbs attached to my body."
"Spoilsport," James teased, and Remus shrugged, grinning a bit.
Severus was surprised, although he really shouldn't have been, when Sirius and James nearly attacked the three of them with hugs when it came time to leave.
"It's only for two weeks!" Remus protested, but he hugged James back and was grinning.
"And one week for me," Severus managed to get out, before having the breath knocked out of him by Sirius.
They were all grinning, though, and soon, the rest of them were hugging each other tightly. Severus felt the familiar warmth that the others brought to him. He was accepted here, liked, and even part of a strange family. They all teased each other, perhaps, but they also spent nearly every waking minute together and had gotten to know each other quite well. When they finally boarded the carriages, Severus felt a strange sense of loss at saying goodbye to James and Sirius, even if it would only be for a week.
The ride was short, which was good, because the carriages were open and the day was frigid. Even with warming charms over his robes and his winter cloak, Severus would be glad to go inside. He sat next to Remus and another boy, who he thought was from Hufflepuff. Peter was on the other side of Remus. It was too cold to talk properly, even with the warming charms, so they passed the trip in silence. Some of the other students, those who hadn't known to ask others to charm their clothes, were sitting there with chattering teeth, and Severus felt a wave of sympathy for them.
They all walked into the station, some whose parents or guardians would meet them inside, and most to whom this would only be a stop on the way to King's Cross. Severus clutched his trunk and scanned the crowds for his mum. Upon seeing her, he almost did not recognize her.
Eileen Snape still wore her hair back from her face, but her face did not look nearly as sallow as Severus was accustomed to. Nor did her hair look particularly lanky, either. She was smiling, truly smiling, and even pulled him into a hug upon seeing him.
"Severus, you look well," she murmured, then released him and held him at an arm's length, hands clasped on his shoulders. "I do believe you've grown at least six inches since September. And your hair..." She touched a piece of it with wonder. She pulled him into another hug, a longer one this time. "I am so happy to see you."
Severus had not grown up being hugged very much. Never by his father, and rarely by his mother. Two hugs in as many minutes was a once in a blue moon occurrence-if that. If James and Sirius and even Remus had not been so affectionate with each other and with him (although, they rarely hugged-more arms around the shoulder for them), he might have stiffened in surprise. As it was, he couldn't entirely stop himself from gaping at his mother as she took hold of his trunk and, wrapping her free arm around him, walked with him out of the station.
Notes:
Up next--Severus gets a look at his mother's new life.
Chapter 14
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
His mum whisked Severus away from the station so quickly that he realized a few minutes later that he hadn't have a chance to say a proper goodbye to Peter and Remus. He hoped they wouldn't be upset with him. There was nothing to do about it, now, except perhaps send an owl to apologize.
His thoughts immediately went to his mother. Severus had known that Eileen Prince had never been considered a beauty, with her sallow face and too skinny to be attractive body. Men didn't want someone with a large waistline, he knew, but his mother didn't have much in the way of...well, what Lily had called "womanly assets," a term she'd borrowed from her own mother. Try as he might not to think about it, Lily had more in the way of those at eleven than he'd ever seen on his mother. Eileen Prince was tall, too thin, and too pale to be considered pretty.
Except, now, she looked much better than Severus had ever recalled. He was sure that she had gained weight during the time he'd been gone-not enough to make her look fat, but she didn't look so skinny, either. Her face wasn't so pale, and maybe it was being outside, but there was some brightness in her cheeks. Also, even tied back, her hair looked a lot better than Severus had ever seen it.
Well, their father had forbidden them to buy anything but soap for their hair. Now that they were both away from him, they were clearly taking better care of themselves.
"You look nice, Mum," he told her, after they'd started on the path.
She turned to him and beamed. "You've never looked better yourself, Sev."
He smiled at her. "It's a good school."
"And you've made friends, so I've read from your letters," she told him, still smiling.
"Yes, the boys in my house are really nice. We're all friends," he answered, simply.
There was no need to tell her about nearly becoming enemies with James and Sirius on the train. That was ancient history. Anyway, his mum didn't know that he'd asked to be placed in Gryffindor. She might be proud of him for being Sorted there, but considerably less for having gone against her wishes...and their plans for him.
"I didn't have many male friends at Hogwarts, but the girls and I were very close," Eileen confided. "I often wish I had remained in touch with them after graduation. Of course, three of them were married within the year..."
"But weren't you, too?" Severus asked.
He hadn't known much about his parents' courtship, but he did know that his mother was twenty-nine. She'd married Tobias Snape when she was seventeen, perhaps eighteen. Then, of course, she'd become pregnant with Severus almost immediately.
He supposed that it had all gone downhill then, if there had ever been any happiness in their marriage.
Eileen shook her head. "We'll discuss all of that later, honey. Right now, I have to get back to work, as I still have the afternoon shift, but I had to meet you at the station and show you around. We'll have some lunch, and you can keep yourself busy for a few hours?"
"Of course," he answered, immediately.
"You do look well, too, Mum," Severus told her, hoping to be conciliatory.
She smiled. "I certainly feel much better, now that I'm away from that drunkard of a muggle," she told him. "I should have taken us away from him when you were a baby."
Severus had no response for this. Yes, she should have, to be sure, but where would they have gone? Would any of her family have accepted him, a mere half-blood, into a pure-blood family? To be sure, the Prince family was not as wealthy nor as outspoken against muggles and muggle-borns as the Malfoys or the Blacks, but they likely wouldn't want to see (or support) a daily reminder of their only daughter's mistake. And her two bothers probably wouldn't have been much better.
"Are you hungry?" she asked him, looking at Severus sideways. "Would you like something to eat?"
Although he had only eaten two hours ago, Severus was hungry. "Yes, please."
Once inside the inn, a very grand building, Eileen Prince removed Severus' cloak and her own before putting them on a hook. She took him into the kitchen, where a few other servants were working, and had him wash up before placing a bowl of hot, flavorful soup in front of him. Then, she set a few pieces of bread in front of that, and sat down with a look that could only be described as fond, even adoring.
"You look so well, Sevvie," she murmured, using the childhood nickname she'd abandoned when he was eight.
He took her hand before starting on the soup. "So do you, Mum."
"You should have seen her when she first arrived!" a witch in dark blue robes declared, putting a plate of cinnamon rolls in front of Severus. "Nearly starved, she was!"
"Hilda!" she laughed, but there was a darkness in her eyes.
Severus had seen it often enough.
"Yes, well," Hilda conceded, after a glance at Severus. "That oaf of a husband had her nearly starved, and I don't suppose he treated either of you very well before you attended school. And her hair! Merlin, it was so lank and dull...but we fixed that right soon enough, although you'd never know by the way she pulls it up in a bun."
"Now, Hilda," Severus' mum said, a grin on her face, "how am I supposed to do all of the housework and cleaning with my hair flying about in my face? Yes, there are cleaning charms, but suds and the like can still get in the way."
Hilda made a hmphing sound. "My help manages fine with braids and the like. Besides," she added, pointing to her own hair, which was partially loose, but also out of her face, "do I look as though I've bread crumbs and the like stuck up in here?"
"Leave her be, Hilda," one of the other women said, this one dressed in yellow robes, although they were mostly obscured by an enormous white apron. "I expect she's still not used to her new freedom."
"Ack, she knows I'm mostly teasing," Hilda returned, putting an arm around her. To Severus, she added, "If I've one complaint, it's that your dear mum works too hard. More than earns her wages, she does."
"And makes the rest of us look slovenly," the same woman complained, but with a grin.
"It wouldn't hurt you to study a few more cleaning charms other than 'tergeo' and 'scourgify', Rebecca," Hilda lightly reprimanded. "I know they didn't teach much of that at Hogwarts, but there are spells for sweeping a floor, for instance."
"Old habits die hard," Rebecca admitted. "I'll reread the book you got me."
Hilda's hand squeezed Rebecca's shoulder. "Good girl. It makes your life easier to know them, or else you'll end up crouched over a broom like a muggle, instead of letting the broom do all the work. And now!" she added, briskly. "I need to be out of here and let Eileen catch up with her dear son, or else there's little sense in having given her the afternoon off."
"I have the afternoon off?" Eileen asked, confused.
"Of course you do, dearie! You have to catch up with your son. Not that you don't deserve it, with all the hard work you've put in," Hilda laughed. "Off with you."
"Well, I'll be back in time to help with dinner," she promised.
"Fine, that's fine. But you're not to work after dinner, you understand?" Hilda asked, and despite her stern look, Severus had the sense she was teasing.
Eileen confirmed this guess by laughing. "Yes, ma'am."
"Good, now you enjoy the time with your son. It was nice to meet you, Severus," she added.
"Nice to meet you, too," Severus answered, grateful he'd already swallowed his mouthful of soup.
And Hilda was off. Rebecca chuckled, then made some excuse to leave, but Severus thought it was to keep from being a third wheel.
After finishing the soup and bread, he was already quite full. He glanced at the plate of cinnamon rolls, then at his mother.
"Go on, they're meant for you," she said, with a laugh. "Or, if you like, we can take some upstairs for you to have as a snack later."
"Let's do that, then," Severus agreed, and rose.
"The cloaks will stay downstairs, in the kitchens," his mum instructed, now grabbing hold of his trunk. "You have the rolls, then?"
"I can carry the trunk," Severus protested, lightly.
"Nonsense. Besides, I can manage a feather-light charm, and I don't suppose you'll learn those for a bit?"
"I believe it's a second year spell," Severus recalled. "James thinks so, anyway. It wasn't in our book."
"It's easy enough to manage. I'll teach you later." She pointed her wand at the trunk, and then lifted it as though it weighed next to nothing. "Follow me, Sev."
Plate in hand, Severus followed his mother out of the kitchen and past several rooms before turning into a windy staircase. She lifted her robes above the ankle to climb the stairs, and Severus was glad that his own robes were above the ankle. All the same, he had to rush to keep up with her. Had his mother always been this speedy?
He was nearly out of breath by the time they reached their room, but his mother seemed fine. They walked down several corridors before stopping. The door read in bright red "7 - E - 15."
"That's the seventh floor, the east wing, and the fifteenth room on the floor," she explained, pointing at it with her wand. The door opened. "Hilda enchanted the staff's doors so that they would open only to her wand, theirs, and any others they wished to enchant. However, the others go away in either a week, or after the tenant cancels the enchantment, whichever is later. We'll get that set up for you in a bit. Come in."
The room wasn't quite as large as the one he shared with four others, but it was certainly larger than his room at their old home plus his parents' old room. By the sound of his mum's letter, he'd been expecting something small with two beds crammed inside, perhaps a table in the middle with a lamp on top. This was far more roomy than he'd expected.
It also looked a lot cleaner and friendlier than any part of their old house. Several paintings hung on the wall, and they were the wizarding kind, with portraits that moved and interacted with you. The walls contained yellow and blue wallpaper, with patterns of flowers along the top and bottom. Both of the beds were as large as his at school, although without the curtain he'd become used to. There was a blue couch on one side, and two desks across from it.
"If you go past the door," he mum said, urging him forward and opening it, "there's a nice bathroom."
The bathroom, too, was quite roomy. Double sinks, one of those claw-footed tubs (or whatever they were called), and a shower with glass doors next to it. On the far end of the sinks was, of course, a toilet. A towel rack hung outside of one of the showers, and another one outside of the tub.
"Hilda treats us like family," she explained, with a smile at Severus. "Rebecca has two daughters at Hogwarts, in Hufflepuff, and when they visit her during the summer, she opens up an adjoining room, so the three don't have to share. Her husband travels most of the year, you see."
"It looks really nice," Severus said, and meant it.
Even if her cousin hadn't paid her, had given her this room and food in exchange for her work, he would have thought it was a decent enough job. Not that he knew much about paid work or fair wages, being only eleven. Still, he could see that she was living far better than at their old home.
Besides, there was no abusive husband to come home to.
She put the trunk down, and then put her hands on his shoulders once more. "It is much better than before, Sev. I'm very grateful to her, although," she added with a laugh, "she tells me not to be, that I earn every galleon."
They sat down and spoke a bit about Severus' first term at Hogwarts. He told her that he was doing well in classes (not quite full marks on everything, but high grades all the same), and his friendships with the boys in his house. She listened in earnest, asking questions on occasion, and seemed pleased with what she'd heard.
Earlier than Severus would have expected, his mum had to leave to prepare for the evening meals, and Severus didn't fancy getting lost in the inn, so he remained in their room, figuring he might get a good start on the schoolwork the teachers had assigned. There wasn't a great deal of work, but he'd never been one to procrastinate. Once his Herbology and Transfigurations essays were complete, he was about to start on Charms when his mother returned.
"I'm done for the day," she explained, by way of greeting, sweeping him into a long hug. "How have you been, Severus?"
As Severus returned her hug, he thought he could get used to this.
"I finished my essays for Herbology and Transfigurations," he told her, "and I've only Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts to complete. I do have some reading for Potions and Astronomy, but it's more like rereading for me."
Eileen laughed. "With a mind like yours, I'm rather surprised you weren't Sorted into Ravenclaw."
Had she been disappointed, after all? Ravenclaw was the universally acceptable house. Sirius had speculated that his mother wouldn't have been quote so angry had he ended up there, and James had thought that being Sorted there wouldn't have been too terrible. Severus, too, initially saw Ravenclaw as an alternate house for himself and for Lily.
Did it matter, really, where you ended up? All of the classes were the same, and he didn't believe his teachers graded students any differently on account of their house. Their heads might favor them, although McGonagall certainly never favored the Gryffindor first years. It was more about the people who you were with, and what they valued and considered themselves decent at. After all, an idiot might value intelligence, but the Hat would have enough sense not to put him in Ravenclaw.
Severus shrugged. "I'm happy in Gryffindor."
Eileen walked over to the couch to sit down, bringing Severus with her.
"I admit that I was a bit surprised to hear of your Sorting when I received your owl," she admitted, "but when I thought about it, I shouldn't have been. You were always brave, Severus. Far braver than you should have had to be. I suppose," she added, with a rather pained smile, "the hat saw that in your mind."
Should he tell her? Not now, not on the first day of the Christmas holidays. Later, perhaps.
Instead, Severus just murmured that he was glad he hadn't let her down.
"Oh, Sev, even if you had been Sorted into Hufflepuff, you couldn't have let me down!" she said with a laugh. Then, she added, "One of Rebecca's daughters is in that house, so we should mind what we say around her."
"What year is she?"
"Fifth year. A prefect, too," Eileen added. "She only mentions it once a week or so. I expect she's hoping her Kathy will be made Head Girl in a bit."
Severus had to wrinkle his nose. "A Hufflepuff as Head Girl?"
Eileen's eyes twinkled.
"How does, er, your work go around here?" Severus asked, a bit awkwardly. In response to his mother's questioning face, he added, a bit more plainly, "When do you work, and when are you off?"
"Ahh. Well, in the usual months, I work from eight until twelve, and then I take an hour off for lunch, and a bit of my own work," she began. "Then, I resume working from one until around four, perhaps a bit later if there's more work to be done. After that, I have a couple of free hours, so I'll have dinner, perhaps go for a walk, write letters, that sort of thing. I have an hour or so of work to do from seven until eight, and then I'm finished for the day. Once a week, I'll work from seven until eleven instead of my morning hours-there are six of us, you see, plus Hilda, and we switch those hours out. Anything a guest wants after eleven just has to wait until the next day." She watched Severus with amusement. "This week, and next, it's a bit simpler. Everyone has fewer hours and one shift to perform. I chose the mornings, to be able to spend more time with you. So, I'll be working from seven until twelve, and then I'm free for the remainder of the day. Oh, and I am usually off on Saturday afternoons and all of Sunday."
Severus thought that was quite a lot to keep track of. "What sorts of things do you do?"
"A lot of cooking and cleaning and mending, nearly all by magic," his mum answered. "Some waiting on guests, like changing their linens and bringing out an article of clothing to Hilda or Rebecca to fix, if they ask for it. Turning down their beds in the evening, if I work then. There's always quite a lot to do, and Hilda pays me well. She pays all of us well, really. I make the least because I'm the newest, but she says I'll go from ten galleons a week to twelve come January."
"Is that a lot?" Severus asked.
"It is when I don't have to pay for room and board," she answered. "Many places for rent around here go for three galleons a week, and a few of us do rent there, but I want to save as much as I can before leaving. And there's your schooling and your clothes to think of," she added, pulling gently on Severus' robes. "You'll have outgrown those by the end of the year, the way you're growing."
Severus looked down at his robes. When he'd started school, they covered his feet, which were a bit longer than was stylish, but his mother had said he'd grow into them, and she couldn't afford to replace them mid-year. Now, they were at least an inch above his ankle. Not exactly short, and teachers knew that students grew out of their clothes, but if they got much shorter...
"Fortunately, there's cloth underneath for the house elves to let out," she added, showing him the other side of the bottom of his robes, where there was about six more inches of fabric. "If they're too short for you, just leave a note, and they'll fix them up before you wake up. All the same, you will need new ones next year."
He flushed a bit, thinking that James and Sirius and Peter likely never had to worry about the length of their robes. Remus, too, most likely, although he didn't seem to be as-well, pampered-at the others. Sirius' mother might despise his placement, but she'd never let him go to school wearing ill-fitting clothes.
"I-I hope it won't cost too much," Severus murmured, still looking down as his robes.
His mum wrapped an arm around his frame. "You aren't to worry about it. First, it will be more than manageable, now. Second, I expect you've put up with wearing my own clothes for far too long. Of course," she added, with a smile, "now that we'll be living in Hogsmeade, you won't need to wear muggle clothes. They'll look quite out of place. However, you will need a couple of sets of casual robes. I expect I can rework some of my dress robes to suit you-oh, I'm only teasing, you silly boy!" she added, with a laugh.
In all likelihood, wearing a reworking of his mum's dress robes wouldn't have been nearly as bad as her clothes as shirts. All the same, he was relieved she wasn't serious.
"It's getting late, and I expect you're hungry," Eileen now told him, smiling fondly. "I know I am. Let's head down for supper."
Severus nodded, and his mum gave him a quick kiss on the top of his head before rising. He immediately followed her, and she locked the door with her wand before they headed down the corridor.
The path downstairs felt a bit more straightforward than their trip upstairs, and Severus thought he might be able to manage the trip out of the room on his own. From the way it sounded, he would have plenty of time on his own, even though his mum would be working shorter hours while he was there. Should he offer to help? Severus supposed he should ask soon.
It was only just after five, but the staff was already preoccupied with making supper for the guests.
"We eat here, Sev," Eileen explained, nodding at the same kitchen he had eaten lunch at earlier.
"Best if you keep away from the paying guests," one of the other women explained. "Mind you, we all eat the same food."
"And you're protected from some of the unsavory sorts," Rebecca added. "Not that you need to worry about that, Severus."
Severus glanced back at his mother, sure that the fear showed on his face.
"Oh, they won't force anyone to do anything," Eileen quickly added, with a laugh.
"No, they only look," the first woman put in. "But they're usually gone within a few days. Hilda doesn't rent to anyone who's looking for just a bit of fun, and if they cause trouble with her employees, she can hex them something awful. They learn or leave soon enough."
"Really, Meg! You would think we work somewhere like the Hog's Head!" Eileen protested.
"Men are men," Margaret answered, a bit grimly.
"I do have a male child, you know," Eileen answered, her voice taking on a warning tone Severus had heard on occasion.
"Ah, well, he's still a child," Margaret amended.
"Don't mind her, Severus," Rebecca commanded. "Now, don't the both of you stand around there. Have your supper. And, Eileen Prince, don't even think of trying to help. You're done for the day, and that's that."
They obeyed, and Severus noted that his mum must be back to using her maiden name. Well, she was divorced from the muggle, wasn't she? Of course, things weren't so simple for him. And he could hardly consider himself a pure-blood just because that man was out of his life.
Magic and biology didn't work that way.
Notes:
Next up--Severus explores the village.
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome!
Chapter 15
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus and his mum passed a peaceful afternoon in their room. As she knit, he told her more about his first term at Hogwarts.
It had begun with her asking him a lot of questions, and he realizes just how much had changed while, at the same time, how much had remained unchanged.
"Will you tell me more about your first term, honey?" his mum asked, her needles clicking together cheerfully.
Severus gave her a tentative smile. "What would you like to know, Mum?"
"Start with your roommates. You all are friends?" she asked.
He nodded. "Yes, we're friends. James and Sirius are best friends, but we all get along and spend most of our free time together."
"And Lily?" Eileen pressed, with a smile.
"We're still friends, but she spends most of her free time with the girls in our house," Severus explained.
"That's to be expected, especially in the beginning," she answered, a bit consolingly. "Did you send her anything for Christmas?"
"Yes, a stuffed lion that was charmed to cuddle and growl with preselected people," Severus answered, with a bit of a grin. "When I saw the picture and the description in the catalog, it seemed like something she would like."
"I'm sure she will. It sounds lovely, Sev," she said, still smiling. "You've mentioned the first names of your friends, but what are their surnames?"
Severus had expected this question. His mum was a pure blood, after all.
"James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew," he recited.
Her eyes widened. "Sirius Black? You're quite sure?"
"Very. I know, Mum," he added, quickly, "he's the first in his family to be sorted into Gryffindor."
Eileen chuckled. "His mother and I were not the same age, but we attended school at the same time."
"What was she like?"
"Very sociable and amiable unless you ended up on her bad side, and then an utter terror. Had a dark streak, that one," Eileen remembered. "What's her son like?"
"We didn't start off on the right footing," Severus admitted, "but we mended things after ending up in Gryffindor together. He's very kind."
The memory of Sirius seeing the scars on his back came to mind, and his fury on Severus' behalf. And they had not be friends for very long, then.
"I expect he's the type of person who would fight with you if he heard you were being bullied," Severus added, softly.
She nodded, then reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder for a moment.
Severus thought now might be the time to ask her the hard questions about his father, but the words wouldn't form in his head, much less his mouth. He swallowed and turned the subject back to his roommates.
"Sirius and James are both of wizarding families, and best friends. Did you ever know the Potters?" he asked.
Eileen withdrew her hand after giving Severus' shoulders a squeeze, then pursed her lips together. Depending on the context, this could mean she was upset or thinking hard. He thought it was likely the latter.
"I believe Fleamont developed the hair potion? For taming wild hair," she recalled. "If that's the same person, he likely attended Hogwarts well before me. I never met him."
Severus nodded. "James hasn't said much about what his father does. I only know that he's an only child and his father was also in Gryffindor."
"Knowing what I do about the Black family, it was likely a shock that Sirius became a Gryffindor," Eileen mused, smiling slightly.
"His mum sent two howlers. One to Sirius, and it went on for at least a quarter of an hour. Later, to Professor Dumbledore," Severus recalled. "She demanded a resorting."
His mum chuckled. "Wouldn't do any good. Even if Sirius agreed, the hat never changes its mind." After a pause, she added, "How did Sirius handle the howler?"
He shrugged. "He wasn't pleased, but I don't think he was too surprised."
"No, I expect not," she said, shaking her head. Looking at him, studying him, his mum added, "Were you worried that I would send one?"
Severus shook his head. "No, but I thought you would be disappointed."
Especially since he had begged the hat to place him there, but he wasn't going to admit to that yet.
Maybe ever.
"I was a bit surprised," Eileen answered, softly. "After you left, I went through the options the hat would consider for you, or so I thought. You are extremely clever, and I thought you might do well in Ravenclaw. I rather thought that, in spite of your loyalty to Lily, you might dismiss Hufflepuff. I didn't consider Gryffindor because I hadn't had any friends there, and Slytherin and Gryffindor are generally rivals. I believed that if you didn't end up in my old house, you would be in Ravenclaw. Receiving your owl and hearing your disappointment in your placement was rather painful."
"You were disappointed," Severus repeated.
He'd known it, but this confirmed it.
"Not in you, but for you, Sev," Eileen corrected. "I knew that you felt let down."
Severus glanced down, his face warm. He couldn't lie to his mum, not about this.
"I asked for Gryffindor," he said, his voice barely a whisper.
Eileen stared at him, uncomprehendingly. "Why?"
She didn't sound angry, or even disappointed. Just confused.
He told her everything, then. He started by speaking quickly, telling about the encounter with James and Sirius on the train, and the argument that followed. Then, the much more pleasant rest of the ride with Remus, who had also wanted to go to Gryffindor (Severus could tell, even then), but hadn't been so brash or rude about it. How, when he arrived at school, his name came the last, so he'd seen everyone else's sorting. And even though James and Sirius might try to make his life awful in Gryffindor, there was the chance that they would do so anyway, wherever he ended up, and he thought that he would have a better shot against them being in the same house as Remus and Lily.
"So, when it came to be my turn, I told the hat I wanted Gryffindor, and it placed me there," Severus finished, his voice hitching a bit. "The next day, James and Sirius said that as we were going to be living together for the next seven years, we ought to try to start over, and I agreed."
Eileen stood then, and for a moment, Severus was afraid that she would strike him. She never had, not in his memory. She'd never laid a hand on Severus, never even threatened to. Perhaps, on the occasion that he acted up, she thought that Tobias had abused him enough that she had no right to hurt him. Or, perhaps, she just didn't believe in corporal punishment.
But as her hands reached for him, he stiffened, waiting for the blow...until Severus realized she was hugging him, and then taking him in her arms, holding him next to her in the oversized chair she'd been sitting in. Arms still around him, even rocking him as though he was a small child.
"I'm sorry. For not telling you everything before," he whispered, his breath still hitching.
"Sevvie, I don't blame you," she murmured, still holding him. One hand rubbed his back in small circles, and the other held his head close to her. Then, fingers carded his hair. "It was very, very brave of you to ask for Gryffindor. I am proud of you, wherever you would have been placed, but especially now." She tilted his head so he was looking at her. Chuckling a bit, she added, "It was rather Slytherin of you, to ask for Gryffindor to keep an eye on potential enemies."
Severus chuckled a bit at that, and hugged her tightly. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."
"And then, they became your friends," Eileen murmured, a hand still making small circles on his back.
It felt so nice, and he sighed. Eileen chuckled and placed her other hand on her back, moving her hands in a circular motion.
"I am very, very proud of you, Severus," she told him.
He smiled, warmth filling him.
Everything, it seemed, was turning out all right.
Notes:
Next up--Eileen would do a lot for her son, Severus realizes...and an unbidden memory emerges.
Constructive feedback is always appreciated! 😁
Chapter 16
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus could not get warm. Perhaps, the temperature outside had gone down several degrees since the previous night. Or, he had been too tired to notice the previous night. Whatever it was, two blankets, even charmed to stay warm, were simply not enough.
"Mum?" he asked, finally, turning his head in her direction. "Are there any extra blankets?"
She sighed. "I'm afraid not, honey. I can ask Hilda for more tomorrow, but it's not likely. We're already running low on them for the guests."
Great. Just great. At this moment, Severus wished he was at school, where his bed was always warm without him having to apply charms to it, or worry about not having enough blankets. James and Sirius were probably sleeping well right now, if they weren't in the warmest, softest armchairs by the fire in the common room.
Then, he felt bad for this wish. He was happy to be here, and glad for the time with his mum.
It was just so cold...
"Come sleep next to me, if you like. Bring your blankets if you do," Eileen requested.
Was he too old to sleep next to his mother? Severus decided he didn't care.
He rose from the bed, but his mother floated the blankets over to hers before he could touch them. They landed neatly on top of hers, and Severus nearly raced over and crept under the covers.
One of his mum's arms pulled him close, and the other tucked the covers under their legs and under their frames. The extra blankets, plus his mother's warmth, removed the chill from Severus almost immediately, and he felt himself relax, nearly ready to fall asleep.
They both wore dressing gowns over their night shirts-nightgown in Eileen's case-but Severus could feel the outline of his mum all the same. He knew that she was taller than average, closer to six feet than five, and he didn't reach her shoulders when they stood. And she was still thin-Severus could feel it-but as he lay with his head against her shoulders, she felt comfortable. Especially now that both of her arms had wrapped themselves around him, drawing him close.
"Better, honey?" Eileen asked, tucking some stray hairs out of his face.
"Much. Thanks, Mum," Severus answered, now feeling both wonderfully warm, comfortable, and pleasantly tired.
"You're welcome. Sweet dreams, Sevvie," she answered, holding him a bit tighter.
Within moments, Severus was sound asleep.
When he awoke, the space his mother had inhabited was empty, but still warm. Severus rubbed his eyes. A simple lamp was lit, and looking outside, it was only just starting to turn light. Eileen was dressed in her undergarments, which were almost as long as her robes, so Severus only felt a bit embarrassed. He watched as she pulled her robes over them, then straightened the sleeves and the skirt before adding an apron that covered most of her front. Eileen then brushed her long hair back into a low bun, tying it back with several pins. She turned around to see Severus watching her, and he flushed.
"What are you doing up so early?" she chided, teasing. "You're on holiday!"
He yawned, proving her point. "I just woke up." After a moment, he realized why. "I, er, need to use the loo."
She laughed. "Well, I'll expect you back in bed afterwards," she said, placing her hands on her hips. "Get some more rest, then come down for breakfast. Understand, young man?"
"Yes, Mum," Severus answered, grinning as he headed to the bathroom.
She had left by the time he came back, but he was still quite tired, and headed back into the bed. As Severus pulled the covers over his frame (it was just as cold as the previous night), he noted that there were three. Which meant that his mum had been willing to sleep under only one, so he could have two.
Still, he'd been cold. She must have been even colder. Severus was glad he'd joined her in bed-for both of their sakes.
Severus stretched out in the bed, then pulled the covers back over him, tucking them under his feet and sides. Leaving the bed to use the loo had made him realize it wasn't much warmer than it had been the previous night, and he hoped his mum would be all right. Hopefully, she'd spend the morning in the kitchen.
This bed was larger than his bed at Hogwarts, which could easily fit two of him, and three in a tight fit. Both were quite soft...
He yawned, and his eyes closed once more.
When he rose for the second time, the sun was up. Severus stretched, enjoying the motions, and then got out of bed. There was a chill in the air, and he was glad that he was wearing his dressing gown. After brushing his teeth, he decided to take a hot shower and use the new shampoo and conditioner alongside it. He hadn't bathed since the day before last, which wasn't unheard of back when he lived at home, but at Hogwarts, he'd gotten into the habit of showering daily. Severus didn't think he smelled, yet, but he would if he put it off much longer.
The water became warm without having to wait long, and he stepped in, soaking it up like a cat. Well, he knew a cat would hiss and run away from the water, so he revised his comparison to a cat taking a sun bath. The Evans had a ginger cat, Rosie, who delighted in those.
Severus also relished the gentle massage of his scalp by the shampoo, which felt even better than he remembered. The knowledge that the suds wouldn't get into his eyes (not that he'd had much experience with that-his mum had always been gentle when she'd bathed him) certainly enhanced the experience.
Once his hair was free of the shampoo, Severus applied the recommended amount of conditioner to the middle of his hair. Immediately, the invisible hands working, not massaging his scalp, but combing throughout his hair. Severus let out a contented sigh. It almost felt better than the shampoo, certainly just as good. Unbidden, suddenly, a memory of his mum brushing his hair came to mind. He was four, maybe five? And his hair was soft, not at all dull or lanky. And she was gently brushing his hair, murmuring to him, and he felt safe and happy.
His eyes opened on their own accord. Where had that come from? Severus knew about long-term and short-term memories from a book at the muggle library. Most of human science was lacking, because it didn't account for magic, but muggles had explained the brain fairly well. And that memory felt so real! Had his current experience triggered it?
He stood still as the combing ended, then moved to the center of the water stream to rinse it out. A few moments later, fully clean, he reached for the towel. When he combed his hair a few minutes afterwards, he experienced no tangles, and even though his hair was still damp, he knew it was softer than before.
Smiling a bit, Severus dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast.
Notes:
Next up: Severus becomes quite the explorer. Also, the start of a long overdue talk.
As always, constructive feedback is most appreciated!
Chapter 17
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The next few days took on a familiar pattern for Severus. He awoke after his mother had already left to go about her work, showered and dressed in his Hogwarts robes, then ate breakfast in the kitchen (the food was nearly as good as the meals at Hogwarts). Afterwards, he would set out to explore the village. Severus did not enter every building (he had seen the people entering Hog's Head, and they looked a bit rough for an eleven year old), but he went in most of the shops in the town.
There were other areas of interest, but the most notable was a building called "The Shrieking Shack." It was, rather fortunately for him, roped off to prevent visitors, and he'd heard other witches and wizards around his age claim that it was too haunted for people to be allowed inside. Severus had read a book from the Hogwarts library detailing the true history behind what muggles believed to be haunted areas. More often than not, they were cursed, and a foolhardy muggle would end up as the beneficiary. Sometimes, the Ministry could heal the damage and Obliviate the muggle-more often, they had to modify the appearance of the curse so it looked like the muggle had been in a horrible accident or contacted a rare disease.
Severus didn't believe that the Shrieking Shack was cursed, or it would say so in writing, but it certainly looked terrifying from afar. He was almost glad that he was not there with any of his friends, because they would dare each other to edge closer. Even Lily might have been tempted to try. No, Severus preferred non-haunted buildings. The ghosts at Hogwarts were mostly harmless, but trying to enter a haunted house was just asking for trouble.
He would have liked to avoid Zonkos, the joke shop, but Sirius and James would want to know all about it. So, dutifully, he entered on his fourth day, and took note of the products. Dung bombs seemed to be the most popular product. He wrinkled his nose. The only class he would be tempted to set those off in would be History of Magic, and what was the point when your teacher was long dead?
Severus did spend some time at Honeydukes to purchase an assortment of sweets for himself and his friends. He noted that the "blood pops" James had referred to were ordinary cherry lollipops-the real ones were far darker in color and had the words "blood pops-not fit for human consumption!" in tiny letters. Had the makers changed how they looked since James' father had issued the warning, or had he been teasing his son? The way James spoke, his father was very traditional, but with a playful and teasing nature.
He avoided the acid pops and cockroach clusters, among other sweets that were not intended for humans. He did make a note of what they looked like, just in case he was offered one in the future. Not that his friends would do this, or not intentionally. It was rather careless of the owners to put all of the sweets togethers like this.
The total came to nearly a galleon, which made Severus cold in spite of his warm clothes, but he still had nine left. It was fine, really. His mum wanted him to spend at least some of the money she gave him.
All the same, it was with reluctance that Severus handed over the coin and received a mere five knuts in change.
He wished he knew when his friends' birthdays were. Well, this was not strictly true-he knew that Sirius had turned twelve in early November. Rather, he and the others had known after the fact. His favorite uncle had sent him a cake and some spending money the day of, and they had all celebrated with a small party that evening. He'd been a bit disappointed that it had been ignored by his parents, and Severus thought he might have preferred a Howler to their silence. Would it be acceptable to give him a present a few months late? What if the others were annoyed that Severus had made a purchase, and they hadn't? Severus decided not to buy him anything belatedly.
He had purchased a gift for Lily, whose twelfth birthday was in a couple of weeks. His came first, but he didn't expect much, what with it being so close to Christmas. Since she had complained that she was still having a bit of trouble using quills, he purchased a set specially made ones for young witches and wizards, as well as an assortment of sugar quills from Hogsmeade. He just hoped that she wouldn't be insulted by it...
Midway through his visit, Severus returned to the bedroom after dinner while he waited for his mother. One of the other staff had become ill, and she had volunteered to make dinner and clean up afterwards. He was beginning to see why Hilda thought she was such a help.
The room was still chilly, in spite of the warm fire. Severus had changed into his night shirt and dressing gown, but borrowed one of the blankets-there were still only three-to wrap around his body. After several minutes of this, with his rocking chair in front of the fireplace, he felt warm enough to free his arms from the blanket and read a book.
It wasn't a textbook, but a recommendation from James called, "Quidditch Through the Ages." He preferred to fly as little as possible, and only had slightly more interest as a spectator in the school sport, but the book was quite interesting.
In what felt like a short time, he heard the door open and his mum enter the room. Her face looked more flushed than usual, but he supposed the hot kitchen could do that.
"Hello, Mum," he said, putting the book on the table beside him, and moving to rise.
"Oh, stay where you are, Sev," she laughed, walking over and giving him a peck on the cheek. "Cold, isn't it? Are you warm enough?"
He nodded, and she smiled at him. "I'm going to have a quick wash, but I'll be back soon."
"All right,"
Severus answered, turning back to his book. She gave him a light kiss on the top of the head before leaving for the bathroom. Shortly afterwards, he heard the water running.
After finishing the next two chapters, Severus heard the water turn off. Moments later, his mum emerged, clad in her sleeping attire. Her long hair was still damp and hung, straight, well past her waist. She sat in the rocking chair next to Severus, and leaned back, a smile on her face.
"Ahh, the fire feels nice," she murmured. "Funny, the kitchen felt hotter than ever, but as soon as I was in the corridor, I felt nearly chilled to the bone. I always forget how cold these winters are until they return. Are you warm enough as school, Sev?"
"Usually," he answered, honestly. "The warming charm you taught me helps. We all use them-that is, the boys in Gryffindor."
He didn't know about the girls, or the others in his year, but they didn't seem to be chattering from the cold.
Anyway, the classrooms were warm enough, as was the Great Hall. It was just a few of the corridors that were drafty. Even in Potions, they could hover over their warm cauldrons for extra warmth.
"I loved Slytherin, but I will say that its proximity to the dungeons made for some chilly evenings," she mused. "Anyone who didn't know how to warm their clothes before it grew cold relied on friends or older students."
"Peter still struggles with it," Severus put in. "But we're happy to help him." After a moment, he added, "Mum? Can a cooling charm be applied, for when it becomes too warm?"
She frowned a bit. "It is possible, yes, but I wouldn't recommend it. Better to use the wind charm, if it becomes necessary. You'll likely be learning those in the spring, if Professor Flitwick hasn't changed the curriculum."
He nodded.
Eileen glanced down at his book, still open on his lap, but her next statement wasn't a question of what he was reading.
"Severus, honey, I want to have a talk with you about your father." She took a deep breath. "I've been putting it off since you arrived, and that's not fair to either of us."
Severus nodded, again. He'd known this had been coming, ever since they had met at the station.
Even so, he felt his lungs constrict.
Notes:
Next up—Eileen’s story is revealed.
As always, some words of feedback would be much appreciated!
Chapter 18
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Eileen smiled at Severus. "There's no need to be frightened, Severus."
He nodded again, but his mother's words didn't make it any easier to breathe. Was this a panic attack?
She stood, then gently pulled Severus to his feet and, with an arm around his back, guided him to the nearby sofa. He followed her lead, clutching the blanket, but letting the book fall to the ground. Once he was seated, his mother crossed the short space, picked up the book, and placed it on the small table before returning to him.
His mum then wrapped both arms around his shoulders and held Severus close to her. He leaned in, appreciating the comfort as much as her warmth. After several moments, she removed one arm and turned so that she sat next to him, facing Severus.
"Shall I begin, honey?" Eileen asked. At Severus' nod, she began her story.
"My mother and father both came from good families," she began, her voice soft and reflective. "Pure-blood, as I've told you before, but they were hardly the kind that believed they were better than others who had married muggles and muggle-borns. My father always told us that magic is magic, and as long as you could perform spells, he wouldn't think you were any less of a wizard than he was. My mum was the same way."
"Was?" asked Severus, softly.
"To my knowledge, they're still alive," Eileen amended. "I'm twenty-nine, as you know, and my mum was twenty-two when she gave birth to me. My dad, two years older. They are in their early fifties," Eileen calculated.
At Severus' nod, she continued. "They both went to Hogwarts, well before Dumbledore became the headmaster. I don't recall who theirs was. My mum was in Slytherin, and my father was in Ravenclaw. My father's younger sister was in my mum's year, and she was a Ravenclaw, but you know how houses have some classes together. Anyway, since Ravenclaw's entrance was a riddle, my father would often solve it...that is, when he became interested in courting my mum." Eileen smiled, and Severus imagined her parents had recalled this story on numerous occasions. "She was in her fourth year and he was in his sixth when they began seeing each other. Officially, that is. I rather suspect my father would have liked to begin seeing her earlier, but even though her birthday was in November, she was still just fifteen for her fourth year.
"They were both Prefects of their house, which I imagine made it easier to spend time together. They became engaged immediately upon leaving school, and both families came from enough money that my father's chief responsibility was to serve on various boards and the like, and see that the goblins were managing it well. They always did, and he wasn't someone who distrusted goblins, but he believed it was his duty to be diligent where money was concerned," she explained. "Now, my mum was a very talented witch and could have become successful at any number of jobs, but this was back when married women didn't work if they didn't need to, and certainly not well-to-do witches, so once she married, her role was wife and mother.
"She never seemed to mind, even with three house elves to help with the rearing of three small children-nappies and the like-and she gave birth to my brother first, after a year and a bit of marriage, and then my older sister two years later, and then me about two years after that.
"Many well off wizarding families don't like to have many kids," she continued. "If the first is a son, you might not wish for more, because you have your heir. If you have a daughter, you will likely try for a son. But after three, even if they're all girls, most stop. It's easier, you see, especially when you have more babies to feed and more clothes to buy. And that's only the beginning!" Eileen laughed. "You wouldn't dare buy your heir a second rate broom or used potions kits. You wanted to hold onto your money, pass it on to the next generation.
"My parents, now, they weren't of that mindset. Oh, they didn't want seven or more children," she added, with a laugh, "but they did want another boy so there was a neat two and two. Unfortunately, my mum only experienced stillborns after me, so I was the last.
"My brother and sister were both exceptionally good-looking. My brother had your hair, all sleek and shiny, only he wore it shorter," she said, smoothing Severus' hair, "and my sister had my mother's yellow hair and her ringlets besides. And her eyes! Severus, she had your exact eyes, Jessica did. She was beautiful from the start, and only became more so later on. Many girls go through a rather awkward stage around thirteen, fourteen, but not her!" Eileen laughed, but there was an edge to it. "I was rather jealous, especially since she was such a good person. It's harder, somehow, when they're beautiful and good...
"I wasn't hideous, nor was I entirely plain. I realize this now," Eileen explained, with a bit of a laugh, "but I certainly felt that way next to my family. Even my mum, then closer to forty, seemed younger and more vivacious than I was. I kept to my studies, too, spending hours indoors and brewing potions for my favorite class, and likely that didn't help my appearance.
"As you know, I became a Slytherin, just like my mum. My sister also was sorted there, and my older brother followed my dad in Ravenclaw. We had a rather friendly rivalry, but we didn't snub our noses at any house. You see, Sev, both of my parents had siblings in Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, so to put on any sort of show...it would mean hostility. All the same, I do believe that my immediate family believed that Slytherin and Ravenclaw were the best, because we were in those houses. Do you see?"
"I think so," Severus answered, leaning close to his mum, who wrapped both arms around him.
It felt nice.
It was the most she'd ever told him about her family. Before tonight, he hadn't even known that she'd had a brother and a sister. Tempting though it was to let himself fall asleep against his mum, he wanted to hear the rest.
Eileen began to card his hair with one hand, and Severus felt his eyes close. "While at Hogwarts, I made friends with the girls in my house, and a few in Ravenclaw, but I remained self conscious of my looks. No one ever insulted me to my face, but boys didn't look at me in the way they looked at pretty girls. And because I spent so much time on my studies, perhaps I didn't try as hard as I could." Eileen shrugged.
"At any rate, when I left school, my brother Horace had been married for a year and my sister was seeing a very good sort of boy in Hufflepuff, and there I was! I had my friends, of course, but no suitors.
"Now, we had a manor, like most well off wizarding families, but it was near a muggle part of town. Our house wasn't invisible to muggles, only impossible to enter. Because it wouldn't do to see the house elves doing chores or my mum gardening with her wand...
"A year after I finished school, I went to receive training as an assistant to a potioneer in our town. He was older than my parents, married with two children, so my mum and dad weren't worried about anything...untoward." She laughed a bit. "I knew that they had hoped I would be married rather than learning a trade, but as I had no prospects on the horizon, it was something to keep me occupied," she explained, still carding his hair with gentle motions.
"I saw that you won awards in school," Severus recalled.
"Yes, I did," she answered, with pride. "Professor Slughorn had asked me to stay on as his assistant, to help with brewing, but my parents wanted me to return home upon graduation. Not that I particularly minded...
"At any rate, I was occupied and felt safe in the environment. My employer's wife was a potioneer as well, and helped run his apothecary, so she was often there, and that made me feel safe. Not that my master ever tried anything, but back then, a girl like me had to guard her reputation. I learned a lot, far more than at Hogwarts, and I was very happy.
"My house was close to muggles, and of course, we dressed differently than they did, even back then. What we call robes, they call long gowns, but the muggles who saw us often remarked that we looked as though we were from the last century." Eileen chuckled at this. "I heard all sorts of theories. Some thought we belonged to a muggle religion that demanded we dress with gowns to our feet. Others believed we liked to live as though we lived a hundred years ago. Technically speaking, witches and wizards are supposed to blend in with muggles, but that certainly didn't happen in my town!
"And that, Sev, was how I met your father. The apothecary was a store for witches and wizards, enchanted to look like an abandoned building to muggles. If they came too close, they immediately remembered all sorts of things they had to do, and we never had any trouble," she went on. "Your father and his family lived nearby, and he often saw me on my walks to work. We exchanged greetings, and one day, well, he introduced himself.
"He was rather attractive back then. Not exactly a looker, but hardly..." Eileen trailed off, then added, "He seemed kind and had good manners and was always happy to see me, and, well, we became friends. Before long, more than friends.
"Our meetings were not exactly secret, but they certainly weren't out in the open. I didn't think my parents would approve of me seeing a muggle, although my brother had dated a few muggle borns at school before marrying a half-blood. Tobias wasn't a muggle-born, though, but he was interested in me, and no one had been before.
"To him, I was fascinating. I didn't dress like other girls, and he approved, and while our robes are certainly not like the dresses that muggle women wear, especially now, they hardly hid that..." Again, she trailed off, but Severus knew what she meant.
"That you were a woman," he supplied, sitting up a bit.
His mother laughed. "Indeed. He certainly noticed that I was a woman."
Severus turned rather red. His father had given him a rather blunt version of what Lily called "the talk" when he turned ten. He had warned Severus to be prepared not to do anything that would result in offspring until he was old enough to provide for them.
"Women claim they have it hard because they deliver the tykes, but we're the ones who gotta slave for their upkeep," he'd explained, bluntly. "Bigamy is illegal even for your kind, so you better be careful about what you do until you can get married and handle the brats."
Severus had taken it to mean that he had not been the only "brat" of the family.
Tobias hadn't meant that they had had other kids.
Eileen waited until the color faded from Severus' face, and hers was rather red as well.
"He didn't ever force me, Sev. Tobias was many things, but he never forced himself on me before marriage. He did encourage me, slowly, and more than once." She chuckled. "I told myself it was to keep his interest, that I was still a respectable woman, and that it was close enough to when I was about to bleed that nothing could happen. Until, well, you happened, honey.
"I knew after I hadn't bled for three months. I had begun to show. Robes can only hide so much, and even with..." Eileen went quiet, then she cleared her throat. "Well. I knew, and while I did my best to hide it from my family, I didn't wish to hide it from Tobias. I was sure that he cared for me.
"He was surprised, but readily married me. I was four months along, roughly, at that point. I didn't tell my family. I just asked my master for permission to miss work one day, and he agreed. And we married.
"It wasn't a magical wedding, since I hadn't told Tobias about that. A minister of some church married us. I went home and told my mum and dad. I didn't tell them about you, Sev, only that I had married a muggle I had fallen in love with. They were...stunned.
"I gathered my clothes and the money I had earned, and left. A month before you were born, Sev, I told Tobias that I was a witch. He thought it was a joke, at first, until I did some magic for him. He was shocked, and made me swear on your life never to use any spells against him. It wasn't an Unbreakable Vow, of course, but I kept my word. Even when I shouldn't." Eileen held Severus even tighter, and he was glad.
"Things went well enough for awhile. I did have to leave my job, on his orders, because he wanted me and only me to care for you. Truthfully, I didn't mind. He didn't even mind that I could do magic, just as long as I didn't use it on him.
"But when you began to show signs, around five years of age, everything went sour," Eileen explained. "He began to hurt us. I can't remember how many times afterwards I wished I had picked up my wand or left altogether, but I knew that I had nowhere to go."
"What about your parents? Wouldn't they...?" Severus trailed off.
"I wouldn't burden them with us. I would sooner go at it alone. And I had money, some money, so I hung onto it for your schooling, and in case I needed it. I didn't realize until much later that I needed it long ago."
She held Severus so tightly he couldn't breathe very well, but he didn't mind. He didn't want his mum to let him go.
"I had planned to leave him when you went to school, but hearing about your sorting confirmed it. If you could be brave, so could I. So, I up and left, and then went to the ministry for a divorce. Of course, he had to sign the papers, which I sent by owl post, but it was easier to get his signature for the divorce than to get the toad to marry me. I received them signed the next day. I had my job, and I had my freedom from him," she said, softly. "And, Severus, I am so sorry that I didn't do this when he first started to hurt you."
His mum stopped speaking, and Severus knew that she had nothing more to say.
She was waiting for him to speak.
Notes:
Up next--Severus reflects, and then acts.
As always, constructive feedback is most appreciated!
Chapter 19
Notes:
This chapter, and perhaps others, takes place in the early 1970's in the Wizarding World, and refers to Eileen Prince's late teenage years, which were in the late 1940's. It's been established in canon that the Wizarding World is far more traditional than the muggle world, even in Harry's time, so if you went back about 40-45 years, it would be even more so. Take this into account when you read it, and keep in mind that Severus is an eleven-year-old who has been isolated from both worlds (but has been raised under his rather traditional mother and abusive father) for his entire life. His viewpoints, then, represent what he believes to be from the world he knows back when his MOTHER was growing up, and do not reflect the muggle world of the 1970's, much less the 2020's!
If you find the views he spouts in this chapter to be offensive, please keep in mind that he is a kid of his time and thinking about an even earlier time.
My intent is for him to comprehend what he now knows from his mother with the world he inhabits.
If this offends you, consider skipping over this chapter.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus knew, as the silence dragged on, that his mum was waiting for him to say something.
While he'd never considered himself to be particularly verbose, or not on emotional matters, anyway (he was only eleven, after all), his mind felt particularly useless to him at this moment.
Finally, his mum spoke. "Sev? Is there anything you'd like to ask me?"
He shook his head, and then shrugged. Not out of callousness, or anything like that, but because he wasn't sure.
"I don't know," he whispered. "I-I need to work out what you told me."
She nodded, even looked a bit relieved. "Of course, honey. I've told you more in the past evening than I have in your life."
"Well, yes," he agreed. "I didn't know much about anything to do with your...your past."
She hugged him tighter, and Severus wrapped his arms around her shoulders, tightly, not wanting to let go.
"Can I ask you any questions I have, if I have any, tomorrow?" Severus asked, finally.
He felt his arms growing tired, and he let go of his mum.
"You may," she answered, with a smile. "I'll answer as best as I can."
A yawn escaped Severus. "I'd like to go to bed now, I think."
Eileen ran a hand over his clean hair. "Would you like me to join you?"
He nodded. Even if there had been enough blankets-his mum had managed to get a fourth, but two each was not enough, and he wouldn't want her sleeping under only one-he would have wanted to stay close to her that night.
Several moments later, they were both under the small pile of blankets. Just as before, Eileen had her arms wrapped around him, and he thought she might be trying to protect him as much as keep him warm.
All the same, in spite of his tiredness, it was some time before he could fall asleep.
The next day was the day before Christmas Eve, so there would be even more work to do in order to prepare for the menu options on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. The staff received neither day off as a matter of course, and Severus wished things had worked out so that he could have spent more time with his mum during the first week of his holidays. He half considered changing his plans so he would return the day before his Christmas holidays ended, but it could easily end up being a repetition of the same schedule.
All the same, his mum was there when he rose-and it was quite later than usual, given that Severus had taken ages to fall asleep. She was dressed, though, and immersed in her knitting, so he suspected that she'd been waiting for him to wake up.
"Good morning, Sev," she greeted, smiling at him. "Did you sleep well?"
"Reasonably," he answered, truthfully. "It took awhile to fall asleep."
Her smile widened just a bit, showing the humor in her face. "I could tell."
Severus rose from the bed. "How?"
His mum put down her knitting, and gently pulled him into her lap. Never mind that he was too big for this, Severus allowed it.
"You make little noises in your sleep. You don't snore, exactly," she added, quickly, "but you murmur a bit. Also, you were lying far too stiffly to be asleep."
He laughed a little at this, and she joined him.
"Are you going to explore the village more today?" Eileen asked, changing the subject.
There wasn't much else to do. His holiday homework was long finished, and Severus had studied ahead several chapters in each of his textbooks.
"I think so," Severus replied. "I made all the purchases I needed to, though."
"Well, keep your money with you, anyway. You never know when you'll find something perfect," Eileen answered, sagely. "And make sure you heat your clothes and your cloak. Hilda told me last night the radio broadcast said it would be even colder today."
"I will," he promised.
"The next time we go to Diagon Alley, I'd like to see about warmer school robes for the winter months. Nothing with wool, of course, but they might have something lined with flannel. Back in my day, we had different robes for each season. I don't know if the standard ones are the only ones permitted, so we'll need to find out," Eileen mused.
"Flannel robes in the winter would be a great deal warmer than cotton," Severus agreed.
Eileen nodded. "I'll check. Perhaps, I could even have a set ready for you after you go back. Hilda's giving bonuses the day after Christmas..."
She went on to chatter about more school related expenses as Severus pulled on his clothes (her back turned, of course), and he made appropriate comments as needed.
They weren't about to talk about last night, it seemed. Or, she was waiting for Severus to bring up the topic.
Well, he needed to think about what he'd learned. It was a good thing, then, that he had several hours to wander the village and go everything over in his mind.
They both ate breakfast in the kitchens, where it was too noisy to talk even if had they wanted to do so. His mum hadn't been exaggerating about the preparations needed for the meals in the next two days. Most of the jobs were done by magic, of course, but that still required the concentration of a witch (he hadn't seen any males in the employ of Hilda). Severus focused on his food, wanting to be out of the way at soon as possible, yet even he saw enormous mixing bowls floating in the air, not to mention ingredients following them...
As Severus made his way outside, having donned and warmed his cloak, he thought about the Hogwarts kitchens. Over a hundred house elves lived and served in the castle, and he and the others had likely seen as many as fifty at one time in the kitchens. It had never been quiet, not by a long shot, but the elves always seemed to be excited to be working, and just as excited-if not more so-to be serving students who ought not to be there in the first place. Still, were it truly off-limits in the way the Forbidden Forest was, they would have reported the students or told them not to return. Or so James said, and he was the one with the cloak.
He might have asked his mum what she thought, only asking his mum about possibly breaking a minor school rule was just about the furthest thing from his mind. Severus realized he'd been nearly running, and slowed his speed to a quick walk.
He turned the story over and over in his head. His mum, seeing herself as unattractive, had not had any boyfriends at Hogwarts. Upon returning home, she'd felt isolated, and turned her entire attention to the first muggle boy who'd given her a passing glance. His father's talk had led him to believe that he should be very careful about having any sort of relations with a girl until they were married, or she would use that to trap him. Certainly, he knew, it was hardly ideal to be far along in a pregnancy upon getting married. Even if the man was the father of your child, it had a feel of...he remembered, suddenly, a phrase that Lily's mum had used.
Shotgun wedding.
Of course, witches and wizards used wands instead of guns, but the intent was the same. You impregnated my daughter and made it so that no "respectable" person would want her, so now, you have to marry her.
Severus flushed at the idea. Muggles thought it was only slightly old-fashioned, but Lily thought that the wizarding world were fare beyond them.
"I mean, Sev, women wear the same gowns that my grandparents wore! Forget about wearing trousers or shorts, it would likely be a scandal to let our ankles show!" she'd told him one afternoon.
He'd laughed. "We can show our ankles, Lil. You're exaggerating."
She'd rolled her eyes. "Have you seen McGonagall or Sprout's robes? They cover their feet!"
Severus had to admit she had a point there, and really, he had never actually seen his own mum's ankles, so he'd admitted that she might have a point.
Anyway, Severus thought, smiling a bit at the memory, his own father had clearly not taken well to learning that his wife was a witch and carrying a wizard. A pregnant wife, he could handle that, especially since the child belonged to him. But learning that his wife could do magic and their son would be able to do the same?
Well, Severus could certainly understand his father's hesitation, and likely anger at Eileen having not told him about her abilities from the beginning. Then again, given what Petunia (and others, he was sure) thought about witches and wizards, was it really that surprising that his mum hadn't told him immediately?
She likely wanted to, only hadn't been able to.
His mum had been a Slytherin, after all. Bravery to the exclusion of all else was hardly what their house valued.
No, his mum had acted the way most Slytherin woman probably would have. Use what you can to make the man who made you pregnant marry you, and tell him the full truth at a later date.
Severus thought that she likely acted in a rather panicked state, without any support from her friends, and might have feared that she would be homeless had her parents learned that she was pregnant with a half-blood child.
His father likely felt tricked after she revealed that she was a witch, and he could understand his losing his temper over small things in the following months. The only other married couple he'd seen were Lily's parents, even if they were muggles, and while they certainly didn't act like they were in love all the time, they got along all right. Lily said that they argued on occasion, but never really fought.
Severus had taken that to mean they didn't throw punches at each other, but Lily had explained that no, it meant that they didn't shout and raise their voices.
Well, all right. His father had been angry at his mother, who's basically lied the whole time about being a witch. And he could almost understand him taking his frustrations out on her, at least in the beginning. But, it hadn't just been for the first year or so.
Severus' breath hitched in his chest as he realized that, as far as he could recall, the hitting had begun after he'd begun to display signs of magic.
Had it been his fault, then? If he'd been a squib, could his father have "overlooked" his mum being a witch, and they would have gone on to live ordinary lives?
Or, Severus wondered, had his father been trying to beat the magic out of both of them?
He clenched his jaw. It was almost a shame that his parents were divorced. He'd like to teach the man who'd sired him a few lessons...
No, there was no point in stewing about that. He wasn't going to try to find his worthless father, not now.
Severus wondered if his mum would try to contact her family. Perhaps, though, she had done so--and not just since the divorce. A single mother with a child might be looked at as shameful. Even in the muggle world, this was hardly cause for celebration.
But did his mum's parents still love her?
Well, he knew, love generally had limits.
Notes:
Next up—it’s almost Christmas!
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome. 😁
Chapter 20
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Did you ever send an owl to your parents?" Severus asked.
They were sitting in their room again, after dinner, and she was knitting again. Severus had asked if she was working on a blanket for the guests, but she'd said no, and not provided any more information. The yarn was pretty, a rich blue color.
"No, I wanted to tell you everything before making any decisions," she explained, giving him a tentative smile.
Oh.
"Then, you haven't spoken since...?" he trailed off.
She nodded, fingers still working at the needles as her face focused on him.
"I made a lot of foolish decisions, Severus. At the time, I thought it was best to leave before they knew I was expecting because I was terrified they would Vanish you," she explained, with a shudder, "and you didn't deserve that."
Severus managed a nod. He'd heard the term before, mostly by his father. Usually in his drunken rages, he would have said something to the extent that Eileen should have Vanished their son before he was born.
"You thought they would have?" he asked, slowly.
She shrugged. "I didn't know, but I was scared. At the time, I thought I was keeping you safe."
Severus couldn't hide a snort, and his mum laughed. "Yes, I know."
"Well, they can't Vanish me now, can they? And if they haven't...we won't be any worse off, right?" he pressed.
Eileen placed her knitting on her lap, and a hand on his shoulder.
"All right. I will send an owl after the new year."
Severus tried to smile.
"Do you have any other questions, Sev?" she asked, quietly.
Severus shrugged a bit. As far as he could tell, his mum had explained herself reasonably well the night before. He could ask plenty of "what if?" or "why didn't you?" questions, but he didn't think she would have any satisfactory answers.
It must have come down to fear. Fear of her parents finding out about her pregnancy, and later, fear of being entirely alone and helpless with her son. Sure, she could have controlled her husband without getting into trouble with the Ministry, and that might have been better than letting them suffer...
"Not right now," he said, honestly.
"All right."
They were quiet for awhile. Severus returned to his Herbology book, and his mum to her knitting. Considering that she wasn't using magic, it was quite remarkable how quickly whatever she was making was growing. When he looked up next, she had finished the article and had begun something else, using bright yellow yarn.
"It's Christmas Eve tomorrow, and Hilda was rather insistent that I take the entire day off, except for the dinner she's giving for the staff. Unfortunately, you can't come, as it's only for the help and not for their families," she added, apologetically, "but I can have something to eat with you before it starts."
Severus nodded. He didn't mind not being invited--being with a bunch of adult women sounded rather dull--but he did wonder when it would start and how long it was likely to last.
As though reading his mind, Eileen added, "It begins at eight and will likely continue until ten, perhaps eleven. Fortunately, I will be off the following day, for Christmas."
Severus nodded once more. He wondered what they would do for the holiday, if anything.
"So, I rather thought we could spend the next two days together." His mum smiled. "I understand that you have been exploring the village, and I must admit that I know very little about it. I rather kept myself here, especially before Tobias signed the papers. Would you like to give your dear mum a tour?"
Severus smiled, this time for real. "I'd like that."
"Good. I dare say it will be practice for when you and your friends are old enough for school outings. You'll be quite the expert by then, and quite knowledgeable about the myriad of sweets and tricks available," she said, fondly.
"I did go into Zonkos to see what they sold, but I didn't buy anything," Severus admitted. "Tricks are more what James and Sirius like."
"I did receive that impression based on some of your stories," Eileen laughed. "I expect they might ask you to act as a go-between for their purchases."
"I expect as much," Severus said, wryly, but he couldn't hold back a smile.
"Just don't get caught pranking in class," Eileen warned him, but her eyes were sparkling.
He rolled his eyes. "That's rather Slytherin of you, Mum."
"Of course it is," she answered, still smiling. "I never told you that I never broke any minor rules, Severus. I simply was shrewd enough to avoid detection. For a Slytherin, getting caught was far worse than rule-breaking."
Severus couldn't hide a smile at that. "James and Sirius could take a page out of your book."
She laughed. "So I gathered."
Eileen put down her knitting, then, and stretched her hands, her expression pained. Upon seeing Severus watching her, she gave him a small smile.
"I've always loved to knit and sew, but my hands cramp up faster than they used to," she said, with a sigh. "My mother used to apply a balm on hers when it happened. I might need to look it up. It can't be terribly difficult..."
Spontaneously, before Severus could talk himself out of it, he took one of her hands in both of his and began to massage it. Not that he had ever done this before, or even seen it done, but it seemed simple enough.
Eileen murmured in appreciation. "That feels nice, Severus." Then, she added, "Here, sit next to me."
Severus released his hands from his mother's long enough to obey, moving from his spot on the rocking chair to beside her on the couch. Once settled against the soft cushions, he began to work again on her hand, moving back and forth, and then in a circular motion. Several times, Eileen let out murmurs of appreciation, and when Severus chanced a glance at her face, he saw her eyes were closed.
After several minutes, he asked, rather uncertainly, if he should switch hands. In response, his mum nodded and removed her right one from his.
Severus continued until his own hands felt rather numb, but to his surprise, he didn't mind much. It was rather nice, being able to ease some of his mother's pain. He could see just how hard she was working, and how much harder she likely would have worked had he not been there. He still wondered what it would have been like to spend the entirety of his Christmas holidays at school...but there were six more of those remaining.
Hopefully, by then, his mum would have advanced past menial labor at an inn. Perhaps, she would have a position at the apothecary. He knew how talented she was at making potions, and hated to think of her gifts going to waste here.
Severus knew that he should feel grateful to Hilda for having hired his mum, because it meant an escape from Tobias Snape. He did, too.
Only, he wanted more for her.
Finally, he could no longer deny that his own hands were without feeling, and had to stop.
"Thank you, Severus," Eileen said, opening her eyes. "That was lovely, and very thoughtful."
He smiled, a bit uncertainty, and then a little wider as she placed a hand around his shoulders and pulled him close to her.
"How are your hands?"
"Like new." She grinned, rather mischievously, and jabbed both of them into his sides.
Severus howled with laughter and wrapped his arms around himself in an attempt to block the tickle attack.
To very little avail. His mum might have been half asleep a moment ago, but she was clearly wide awake now, but her aim was flawless.
Fortunately, she wasn't cruel. After only a few more jabs that left him nearly in tears from laughing so hard, Eileen removed her hands and held them up.
"I declare victory," she said, mildly enough, but with a triumphant grin on her face.
"Hmph!" Severus grumbled, but couldn't bring himself to get too put out.
He recalled James recounting stories of himself and his father engaging in similar battles.
"Dad never used tickling hexes, as he claimed it wasn't fair to me," James had explained. "Not that it mattered, as he's twice my size and could beat me with a hand around his back. And did, quite a few times."
Remus, too, had admitted that tickle matches between himself and his parents took place on occasion.
But Peter's father had died when he was a child, but Sirius had said, with a mixture of wistfulness and bitterness, that the Black family would never engage in such activities.
At the time, Severus had been amazed that as many as two of his roommates had parents who engaged in play with them.
Now, he thought as his mum tucked them both into bed, he was the third.
"You won't try tickling me while I'm sleeping, will you?" he asked, half trepidatiously, half (almost) hopefully.
Severus could almost see the smile on her face.
"Well, perhaps not tonight. Sweet dreams, hon."
Curled up against his mum, he allowed himself a grin.
Notes:
My characters thought a light middle and end to this chapter would be appropriate, given the content of the last few. I did wonder if Severus would think he was too old for a one-sided tickle match at nearly 12, but I figure that being shown the playful affection by his mom would override any embarrassment. Especially since his friends aren't there to witness his defeat!
Next up--Christmas is a time for family and relaxing, right?
As always, constructive feedback is most appreciated! 😁
Chapter 21
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
When Severus opened his eyes the following morning, he felt his mum's arms still wrapped around his frame. Smiling to himself, he leaned in a big closer to her warmth, and felt her arms tighten around him.
He yawned, glad that he didn't yet need to use the bathroom. If his mum wanted to have a lie in with him, he was certainly happy to comply. These past few days aside, Severus couldn't remember the last time they had cuddled together. It hadn't been something that Tobias Snape allowed...
A moment later, he felt a light kiss on the top of his forehead, and then one arm released its hold on Severus as Eileen brushed some hair out of his face.
Severus let out a small sigh of contentment, and his mum laughed, then began to card her fingers through his hair. This felt so nice that Severus felt his eyes close again, and he wondered if he might end up falling asleep for another couple of hours. Except, some thoughts in the back of his mind prevented him from feeling too comfortable.
He knew that his mum hadn't been stringy with affection, not really. His father had never displayed any physical affection towards Severus, not as far as he could recall. But he clearly remembered his mum holding him, hugging him, and giving him kisses as a child. The hugs continued as he became older, although they became less frequent. Still, after Tobias began beating him with regularity, Eileen had always given him hugs after tending to his wounds. In the beginning, Severus would sob into her robes as he sat on her lap.
Severus must have stopped that before he turned seven, when he felt that he was too old for that. Or, rather, too old to be able to get away with it, if Tobias Snape caught him. That must have been around the time he'd stopped crying after being beaten, because one of Tobias' favorite lines was that he would give Severus something to cry about-meaning that each sob meant another minute of being beaten. Severus had learned to hold it in until after his father was out of the room.
Severus never really learned what to do to make the beatings stop. He'd believed as a child that he'd deserved punishment, that he hadn't been good enough to please his father. But the beatings had not only continued, but become fiercer and longer as he aged. A few spankings at age five was usually the worst he got-but after he turned ten, the whippings must have lasted at least as many minutes as his years.
It was all right, though. Tobias was gone, and he wouldn't be back..
Still, as he reflected upon this, he could almost feel his father's belt on his spine.
His mother must have noticed, because she stopped carding his hair.
"Are you all right, honey?"
He turned towards her, aware that one arm was still around his frame, and loathe to hurt it.
Severus could see the concern in her face, which was softer since her dark hair was loose around it. She always kept it up in some way while up, but left it down for sleeping. Eileen was far from old, Severus realized now, having seen the variation of ages in his female professors at Hogwarts. None of them came within a decade of his mum, he was sure.
He considered lying, but his mum always knew when he wasn't telling the truth.
Besides, after hearing his mum's story, he didn't want to lie-or even fib.
"I-I was remembering how Father hit me," he explained.
Because Tobias was always Father, a distant and angry figure. Eileen was Mum, having been Mummy when he was a child, but Tobias had never been Dad or Daddy. He'd trained Severus to call him Fathers as soon as he could talk.
Eileen sat up and pulled Severus to her in a long hug. He allowed it, and even wrapped his arms around her slight frame.
"Hitting is putting it mildly," Eileen murmured, now releasing him, but keeping one arm around his shoulders. "I should never have let him."
Severus nodded, as much to acknowledge his mother's guilt as what Tobias had done to him.
"My friends know," he said, softly.
She looked pained, but not entirely surprised.
"Did you tell them, or did they see?" she asked, her voice gentle.
Well, Severus supposed, living with four other boys means it would only be a matter of time before they saw me partially disrobed.
Were girls more careful about that? He certainly wouldn't ask Lily.
"Sirius saw, after a week of so," Severus explained, "and he asked what had happened, so I told him. He was furious about it."
It almost made Severus smiled. Sirius' family might not have been the kindest, but they didn't cause scarring on their children.
"He asked me if he could tell the others, and I said that I wanted to tell Remus, but he could tell James and Peter. We haven't spoken about it since then," Severus concluded. "I try not to let them see my back."
Eileen's eyebrows raised. "Madam Pomfrey couldn't remove them?"
Severus frowned. "Remus said she might be able to, but that was before your owl came about leaving Father. I didn't want to draw attention to us."
She let out a breath, and then hugged him. "Oh, Sevvie. Yes can go to her."
"Are you certain that she will be able to remove them?" Severus asked, trying to keep his voice steady.
He couldn't hope for something that he wouldn't be able to have.
Still, if she could even make them appear less visible, that would be a great improvement.
"Quite. It's not dark magic, which would be more difficult. Human...cuts can be fixed with the right potions," she explained, matter of factly, much the way she had when Severus had come to her with a Potions question. "May I look?"
He nodded, and she gently turned him so that his back was facing her. Then, she removed his night shirt (Severus was very glad he was wearing his underwear underneath) and tucked the edges around his shoulders. Eileen let out an angry noise upon seeing the damage, but soon quieted.
"Are you in any pain?"
"No."
"There are various stages of healing. I am going to prod certain areas, and I want you to tell me if you feel any pain. Promise?"
"I promise."
He meant it, too. His mum might not be a Healer in the traditional sense, but she had treated his wounds with healing potions when necessary. Back then, their supplies had been limited, as she only had so much money and she couldn't leave Severus alone for long. Mostly, she had used soap and water. But when Tobias had gone too far, or when it looked like infection might set in, she'd use a healing salve, often in addition to a nasty-tasting but undeniably effective potion.
He'd never needed to go to a muggle doctor or professional Healer.
Now, Severus felt the prodding of his mum's fingers, but no pain.
Well, after a few minutes, there was some mild sensitivity, and he said as much. Finally, she set his night clothes aright, and wrapped an arm around Severus, holding him against her.
"I'd forgotten how bad it was for you, Severus," she murmured, voice husky.
He wanted to shrug, but there was a lump in his throat.
"Yes," Severus answered, his own voice scratchy.
His mum wrapped another arm around him, and they remained like this for some time.
It was almost enough to take away the images of Tobias Snape going at Severus as though he were an angry beast, a werewolf perhaps, instead of just a kid.
"I won't insist on it, but I do believe that you should see Madam Pomfrey, Sev," she said, after a few minutes. "I am certain that she can remove the scarring."
He nodded, if only to end the discussion.
Eileen kept her arms around Severus until they were too hungry to ignore their stomachs.
Notes:
Next up: a tour of Hogsmeade, and planning for the future?
Thanks to everyone who left their thoughtful feedback and ideas for this story. Please continue to do so—it lets me know that people are reading this work, and what I can do in this universe. 😁
Chapter 22
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
They rose and took turns in the bathroom. Severus let his mum go first, taking the time to read from his History of Magic book. It was a shame that the class was taught by such a dull ghost (Sir Nicholas would have been far more engaging), because the textbook was one of his more interesting ones. Certainly, it was more challenging than his first year Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts books.
Eileen emerged after Severus had finished three chapters that were rather shorter than usual. She was still in her dressing gown, and using her wand to dry her hair. Lily had told him about muggle inventions called "hair dryers" that did the same. Unfortunately, while Severus could use warming charms on his robes without much effort, using them on his hair was still beyond his ability. Or any of his friends', really. It was a third year spell, but they were determined to master it before the end of the year.
"It's all yours, Sev," Eileen told him, holding a long lock of hair in her hand.
"Thanks, Mum."
He showered rather more quickly than his mum, but washed and conditioned his hair. Partly because both felt so nice, but partly because Severus had learned within the first week that his hair would become oily without daily washings. Which meant that he would run through his hair products faster than he would like, so he would have to send an owl to order more...likely before April. He sighed a bit in spite of the invisible hands massaging his head. At least, he still had several galleons left over...
Eileen was dressed in rich blue robes when he returned, having dressed in his own while in the bathroom. Her hair was fully dry, and hung in a dark, straight sheet down her back.
"You look nice," he told her, softly.
She did, too. Severus had become accustomed to seeing his mum looking worn after a long day's work, often still wearing an apron that covered most of her robes. The robes she was wearing weren't her nicest--she'd told him that she hadn't been able to fit into them since having Severus--but they were certainly far nicer than the ones she'd worn when they lived with his father.
Eileen smiled. "So do you, honey." Giving him a once over, she asked, "Would you like me to dry your hair?"
"Yes, please," he answered, gratefully.
She motioned for him to turn around, and he obeyed. A gust of hot air shot at him, then settled onto his hair until it went from damp to dry--and warm against his face.
"Thanks. The books say it's a third year spell, but we're determined to master it before the end of the year," Severus confided.
Eileen drew him into her arms. "I believe that you're determined enough to achieve that goal, honey."
Severus grinned and let the hug continue for a few more moments before breaking away. His mum let go, and they headed downstairs to eat.
After breakfast, Eileen asked Severus if they could walk around the village together.
"I haven't explored since I was a girl, and I am certain there are new shops," she explained, putting an arm around Severus' shoulder.
He grinned up at her. "All right. Where shall we go first?"
"Whatever is nearest to the inn," his mum answered, practically.
This turned out to be a shop that only sold quills. Severus had gone inside before, and purchased a couple that would last far longer than his standard ones.
It wasn't terribly crowded, despite being the last shopping day before Christmas. Not that it was deserted, but Severus and his mum were able to move about freely.
She chuckled a bit at the quills made for pranksters, and gave Severus a nudge. "Perfect for Sirius and James."
"I already got their presents," he answered.
She opened her mouth, then closed it, nodding a bit. She gave the quills another amused look before guiding Severus in the direction of high-end quills. Eileen selected a few that cost five sickles apiece-far more than the ten knuts each of his school quills cost.
"Do you like any of these?"
He shrugged, knowing that each would last at least a year. But she'd already given him loads of spending money, and most of it was still in the pouch.
Eileen smiled, then took all three to the desk, and paid for them. Severus tried to look nonchalant as the employee placed them in a bag and handed them to her, along with some change. She thanked him, then placed that bag inside of one of her own. Severus recognized it from the trip to Diagon Alley, as well as trips to the market when he'd been too young to stay by himself. The bag looked ordinary enough, but his mum had showed him as a child that it was charmed to hold far more than how it appeared.
"Could I fit inside?" he'd asked with fascination.
"Not...quite!" she'd answered, tousling his much shorter hair.
He smiled a bit at the memory, and allowed his mum to wrap an arm around his shoulders as they left the shop.
Her cloak, he saw, was not new, but in better condition than the one she'd usually worn when she went out in the cold. It was dark green, and like his, covered her from the head to just above her boots. His own was black, like his Hogwarts robes, just like everyone's in his year.
It hadn't mattered before Hogwarts had begun, because Severus thought that everyone would wear their school uniform at all times. But the cloaks, he'd discovered early on, could be any color, and most students only wore the black robes to classes.
Not that any clothes were permitted outside of class. Lily, he recalled, had been told off by a Prefect for wearing muggle clothes in the Great Hall during a Saturday. He'd been relatively kind about it, as Severus understood, taking her aside to reprimand her privately, and not taking away points or issuing a detention. Both were, he knew, well within his rights. But Lily had been nearly in tears when she told Severus, and he'd hugged her and insulted the Prefect.
James, in particular, had a large set of what he called "casual robes." He only wore them on weekends, but he claimed they were loads more comfortable than the uniform.
It was difficult not to feel jealous of his friend.
Severus realized he'd let his thoughts make him lose track of where he was when he found himself standing outside of Honeydukes. His mum's arm was still around his shoulders.
"You want to go in?" he asked, rather unnecessarily.
Eileen huffed a laugh. "I will have you know, Severus, that children are not the only ones who like sweets."
Severus laughed in spite of himself. "Let's go."
Eileen selected a basket for both of them, and they went to explore the treats. He thought that there must have been a lot of new ones since she was a kid, because she was equally amused and fascinated by sugar quills.
"Don't dip those in ink!" she warned, playfully, as she put several in both baskets.
"Oh, they still have those horrid beans!" she said, a moment later, with scorn. "My friends and I wrote them a letter asking to make boxes with only the good flavors. We received a rather cheeky response that there was no reward without risk."
"It's generally only risky with certain colors, and if you haven't been forewarned," Severus pointed out, "but there are certainly better sweets."
"Very true."
They added chocolate frogs next, which were not at all new to Eileen, having been invented shortly before her birth.
"My mother ate them regularly when she was expecting me," she chuckled, adding a few to the baskets. "And my father always loved chocolate."
"Remus loves chocolate as well," Severus put in. "More than any other sweet or dessert."
"When he comes for a visit, I'll serve that," she promised.
Severus felt very warm, and he knew it wasn't just because of his charmed cloak and robes.
"Thanks," he murmured.
Eileen put an arm around him again, and it reminded there for several moments.
Baskets full to bursting, Eileen paid for both.
"But I still have lots of the spending money you gave me!" he protested.
"Then you'll have it for something else," she said, with a laugh.
Severus didn't bother protesting, even when the total for both came to nearly six galleons.
After a few more shops, including an apothecary where they spent at least an hour (but bought little, as Severus only needed a few Potions ingredients by now), they decided to have lunch at Three Broomsticks.
"Try the butterbeer," his mum advised. "It's quite tasty."
"All right," Severus agreed, pulling off his cloak.
It was warm enough in the room to go without winter cloaks. His mum, after a moment's pause, did the same.
The food was delicious, but the high point of the meal was certainly the butterbeer. From the first sip, a lovely warmth flowed over Severus, and he thought that had he been outside and without his cloak, the drink would have been enough to warm him.
And the taste! It was sweet, of course, but also rather creamy...not unlike ice cream. It took all of his self control to sip, rather than gulp, the drink down. Even so, after finishing his, he saw his mum had only drank half of hers.
"Good, isn't it?" she asked, smiling softly.
"It's incredible!"
She laughed. "I was about your age when I first tried it. I drank it nearly twice as fast as you...and had awful hiccups as a result. If my mum hadn't brought a potion to cure them, it would have been dreadful. Fortunately, she'd known from previous experience."
Eileen smiled fondly at the memory.
"Do they sell it in bottles?" Severus asked. "I'd like to bring some back for my friends to try."
"Oh, yes, what a good idea! And an extra one for you to drink with them," Eileen added. "We'll purchase them when I pay for the meal.
"But first," she added, with a grin, "dessert!"
Severus left the pub an hour or so later feeling very full, and perhaps a bit sleepy, but very happy.
They walked around at a leisurely pace, moving past the commercial area and towards the houses. They ranged in size from a bit larger than their former home to what Severus imagined James' and Sirius' manor looked like. Not something his mum would ever be able to afford, but with only two people (and Severus away most of the year), they didn't need much space.
Yet, his mum had mentioned Remus visiting, so perhaps she would try to find something with a third bedroom when she'd saved enough...
He wished he could help. Get a job a few days a week, even. But his mum would never allow it, and nor would Hogwarts. Even if any jobs were available to study, they would go to the older ones.
"I've been checking the Hogsmeade Weekly for flats to rent," Eileen said, without preamble. "There are a few for two galleons a week."
"Is that very much?" Severus asked.
"That's what I've yet to determine," Eileen answered, with a bit of a laugh. "The wizarding equivalent of our house in Cokeworth would have been five galleons a month."
He frowned. Then again, the wizarding world and muggle world had little to do with each other in so many areas. Rent might be one of the many differences.
"I've nearly a hundred galleons saved up," she continued, "so we're hardly impoverished, and we're a great deal better off than when your father was the one working. All the same, for now, I want to be careful."
"Of course," Severus answered, meaning it.
"You will have your own room, and it will be a large one. Especially since you'll have friends over," she added. "Even boys and girls from large homes usually like to share a room with their friends when they visit."
Severus felt his stomach loosen as he nodded.
He didn't want James or Sirius or Remus to feel even more sorry for him.
"Anyway," she continued, "I have stopped by the apothecary to see if they need help. The owner told me to stop by after the new year."
"Is that good for you, then?" Severus asked, hopefully.
She laughed. "It certainly isn't bad, honey."
Notes:
Thanks to those who have left their kind and thoughtful feedback!
Up next—it’s Christmas!
Chapter 23
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus never expected much in the way of gifts. Being poor meant that his clothes were made from his parents' discards, and presents were mostly items he needed, with the occasional trinket. It was easier, not living near other witches and wizards his age who were from well off (or, at least, mildly prosperous) families. He'd never been given a child's broom, for instance. While Petunia might have complained about receiving a sweater from a relative she'd rarely seen, Severus would have been grateful for a new sweater. He knew that his mum remade a lot of his clothes as he outgrew them.
He knew that their circumstances were entirely because his father had drunk away most of his earnings. Whether he was an alcoholic or spiteful because they had magic and he did not, Severus knew that his mum never saw most of his paycheck. They could have lived better if he gave more of his money to Eileen to manage. Severus had heard the fighting enough to know the lines by heart.
Before he went to bed on Christmas Eve, he firmly told himself not to expect much. There would be a good meal, and perhaps an item of clothes from his mum (that had not belonged to her, first), and perhaps, maybe, something from Lily.
Perhaps. They'd never exchanged gifts before, and Severus knew that just because he had sent her something, it didn't mean that she would know to reciprocate.
Severus also reminded himself, whenever he started to hope, that just because he had bought gifts for his roommates didn't mean that they were obligated to do the same. They hadn't spoken about sending each other presents, and besides, wasn't the fact that they were friends with him more than enough? James and Sirius could have made his life a living terror, but they hadn't. More than that, they were genuinely kind to him and cared about him.
He should be grateful for that.
And he was. Severus knew that expecting anything from them was just setting himself up for disappointment.
So, as he curled up against his mum under the blankets that night, he put any hope of real gifts out of his head.
Severus rose rather earlier than usual the next day, awakened by the need to use the bathroom. He pulled his dressing gown closer over his night shirt as he walked into the bathroom, but when he breathed, he could see his breath hover in the air for a moment before it disappeared. He washed his hands quickly, frowning a bit. The Hogwarts corridors might be chilly enough to need warming charms, but he didn't see his breath while strolling down them!
Upon leaving the bathroom, Severus saw that the fireplace as empty of flames, and frowned to himself. Well, that certainly explained the lack warmth in the rooms-even more than usual. Good thing they had learned how to make a fire in Charms last October. He pointed his wand at the fireplace, muttered "incendio!" and a great fire appeared. His shoulders relaxed automatically, and the warmth filled him...perhaps not as well as the earlier butterbeer, but there was no doubt it was a great improvement.
Turning to his empty bed, Severus saw a pile of presents. Heart thumping, he crouched down to see if they were truly his.
But yes, they were all for him. Each came with a card with his name and the sender's name on the rolled up parchment, but it hardly seemed necessary, as he recognized all of their handwriting except Peter's.
He counted five (five!) gifts, and they were from each of his friends. He felt his throat constrict. It hardly mattered what was inside the packages (well, unless it was something foul like owl droppings...). There were five gifts. All of his friends had thought of him, had bothered to give him something. Severus brushed a tear out of his eyes, and just stared and stared.
"They're not going to open themselves, Sev," came a voice behind him.
He turned to face his mum, clad in her dressing gown over her night clothes.
How long had he been staring at the gifts in front of him?
"I didn't really expect anything from them," he confided, and felt her arms around his frame.
She didn't ask why not-she knew. Instead, she just held him closer, running a hand along his hair, until he finally pulled away.
"It is rather early, but I suppose that most children wake up early on Christmas to see what the owls brought them. And," she added, softly, withdrawing her wand and pointing it to under Severus' bed, "I may have a few things to add to the pile."
Severus had to laugh as four gifts joined the pile. He sat down on the floor, and his mum joined him, sitting besides him.
"Which shall I open first?" he asked, a bit shyly.
"The ones from your friends," Eileen answered.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I can wait, honey," she answered, smiling at him.
Nodding a bit, Severus opened the one from James, which happened to be the closest. He removed the parchment note first and read it.
"Severus,
I thought you might like to add these to your collection. Just don't use them on me without fair warning!
James
P.S. Only kidding about the last part. Be prepared and all that!
P.P.S. Hope you're having a great holiday!"
Severus opened the package to reveal a book of unusual hexes and jinxes to use against opponents. As he flipped through it, he saw that there was a large section on dueling, and another on blocking unwanted spells.
He grinned, and his mum laughed.
"Just the sort of book you'd like!" she praised.
"That, and Potions," he told her, eliciting another laugh.
"Quite."
Sirius' book turned out to be just that, only Severus was quite sure it would have been in the Restricted Section had the school owned a copy. It was all about the history of certain potions (harmless enough) but went into vivid details about how they were developed and the less than pleasant side effects the potioneers experienced before they were quite ready. The note to Severus read:
"Severus,
Saw this and thought you would like it. If the catalog's description is accurate, some of the drawings are brilliant!
Happy Christmas!
Sirius
P.S. Mind if I have a look sometime?"
Severus snorted a bit at the last part, but felt extremely happy that both Sirius and James knew him so well. He showed the book to his mum, who gave a surprised laugh.
"Rather dark, but I don't suppose it will be the worst thing you'll read at school," she allowed. "And if you go into Potions afterwards, it will be good to know what not to do."
"Like using an anti-boil potion on the boil?" he asked, looking at the illustration of just that. The man looked like he was in agony-and it was little wonder why.
"Precisely," she laughed.
Remus and Peter both sent him assorted treats and sweets. Remus' gift included éclairs and other favorite desserts, with a note that he and his mum had made them. Peter had sent various candies from Honeydukes, based on the label.
"I'll perform a preservation charm on Remus' gift, so they stay fresh longer," Eileen offered.
"Thanks, mum."
That left Lily's gift. He wondered what it was, and what she would think of her gift.
"Dear Sev,
I thought you'd like this combination of the wizarding and muggle world.
Happy Christmas!
Lily"
Frowning a bit, he opened the wrapping, and then the box holding her gift. Inside was a snow globe of Hogwarts, and when he shook it, beautiful music played. Then, to his surprise, the scene changed to the inn, and he was sure he could make out himself and his mum. But how?
Then, he spotted the card from the manufacturer. It read, "This globe starts as the muggle Christmas scene, but changes (upon shaking) to the place the holder is located, and the people present. Shake the scene again to save this scene, and then revert to the first one. The globe is enchanted to hold one hundred scenes, but must be shaken before the user leaves the location. Equipped with Unbreakable charms. Guaranteed to last three hundred years. More scenes can be added by sending five galleons to this address."
It was an address in Hogsmeade, Severus knew.
"Brilliant," he murmured.
"Very," Eileen agreed, reading over his shoulder. "That was a very kind and thoughtful gift of Lily."
He agreed. "Yours next?"
"Of course."
The first was rather lumpy, and quite large. Severus opened it to find three pairs of soft, casual robes in red, yellow, and blue. There was also a cloak in rich brown. He stared at them, letting his fingers trace over their softness.
"They're lovely, Mum," he said, his voice cracking a bit.
Eileen pulled him into a hug. "I don't want you having to wear black all the time, and Merlin knows you've worn enough of my old clothes made over."
"Thank you." He wrapped his arms around her, only vaguely aware that he was still holding the clothes.
He let go after a few minutes, and turned his focus on the next. Eileen chuckled.
It was a set of Gobstones. A very good set, too.
"I was the president of the Gobstones Club while at Hogwarts," she explained, a grin lighting up her face and making her look truly beautiful. "So, it's only right that you should have a set."
He grinned. "Sirius is really good at them."
The next was a journal, made only to open at the hands of the first person who touched it. Severus opened it carefully, and the smell of new, expensive parchment enveloped him.
"You don't need to worry about writing small, because it won't run out of room. You can use it for whatever you like. Your thoughts, of course, but also notes as you experiment with creating spells and potions. I know you want to do both before long," she added, softly.
This earned her another hug, a fierce one.
The last gift, wrapped in a rather bulky package, turned out to be the most beautiful and colorful blanket he had ever seen. And how soft and warm it was. Impossibly so-were it not for magic.
"Thank you," he said, meaning it, and looking over the blanket once more.
It was what he believed was called a patchwork style blanket, comprised of numerous squares in different colored yarn. Yet, while the yarn he was familiar with was rather scratchy sweaters, requiring long sleeves to absorb the warmth without the constant desire to scratch, this yarn felt as soft as bed sheets. He couldn't resist the desire to put it against his face, and let out a small sigh as the blanket touched his cheeks.
Eileen wrapped it over him, and took him back to bed. "It's still rather early for breakfast. Let's have a rest."
Severus nodded his consent, and murmured another thank you. His mum tucked him back into bed, making sure the blanket was on top of the others. It was even larger than the other ones, and hung over all three sides of the bed. As he drifted off, Severus thought that, if he were a cat, or a kitten, he would be purring at this moment.
Warm, happy in the knowledge that his friends cared about him and knew him, and feeling truly safe and loved by his mum.
There would be a Christmas meal and entertainment for himself and the guests later, but Severus thought that this alone would have made it the happiest Christmas of his eleven years.
Notes:
Author's note:
The idea for the journal that Severus' mother gave him was modified from Clairedeloon's fic "To Trust" which can be found on this website.
Up next: Severus returns to Hogwarts, and Sirius' parents are still furious at him.
As always, constructive feedback is greatly appreciated!
Chapter 24
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The following day, after a hearty breakfast and lots of hugs from his mum, Severus boarded the carriage from the Hogsmeade train station to return to school.
In truth, he was a little sad that he likely wouldn't see his mum until the end of June. At the same time, he felt almost elated to be returning to school with a week of the holiday still remaining. He was also looking forward to seeing Sirius and James, even if it would be another week before Remus and Peter returned.
Despite spending a great deal of his holiday out of doors, the weather has become even colder in the last day or so. He certainly felt the winds in the carriage ride back on his face. Were it not for the extra potent heating charms his mum had applied, not merely to his new winter cloak, but every article of clothing he was wearing, Severus thought he might freeze before arriving at the castle. As it was, even with the hood of his cloak covering his head and ears, his face ached from the exposure to the chill before he'd even seated himself on the bench. A handful of other students sat throughout the carriage, in varying degrees of discomfort.
Thankful, the trip was a short one. Severus spent the time gazing at the road and the scenery, the latter which was covered by snow. Then, five minutes into the trip, it began to snow. He pulled his scarf around his head more tightly as the flakes assaulted his face.
"Take your trunks with you!" the driver called to them upon arriving at the castle.
There were some groans, and a few murmured swears, but the students obeyed. Severus wasn't happy about this news, but at least he had remembered to perform the Feather Light Charm before leaving. The trunk didn't slow him down much, and before long, he was back in the castle.
He walked quickly to the Gryffindor tower and provided the barely awake Fat Lady with the password.
The warmth of the fireplace greeted him, but before he could take more than a few steps towards it, James and Sirius nearly attacked him with a hug on each side. He flailed a bit before attempting to return the hug, while seemed to only tighten his friends' arms around him.
"That's enough--I can't breathe!" he protested, after a minute, but he couldn't hide a wide smile.
James, snickering, let go first, followed by Sirius. James made to tousle his hair--he was a few inches taller than Severus, and could do so with ease--as soon as Severus removed his hat and scarf.
"Nice to see you as well!" Severus added, smiling at their grinning faces. "Have a good Christmas?"
"It was brilliant!" Sirius enthused. "Loads better than anything at home."
"You really should stay next year, Severus," James added. "It was loads of fun. I'm surprised more students don't stay, really."
They practically dragged Severus to the most comfortable of the squashy armchairs nearest to the fire, and forced him to sit down. Rolling his eyes, Severus removed his (new!) cloak and draped it over his legs. He placed his gloves, hat, and scarf on top of them.
"Tell me all about it, will you?" he asked, leaning back in the chair.
They happily obliged, speaking animatedly, and often finishing each other's sentences. They regaled Severus of stories from the past week, but focused on recounting the delicious food from the Christmas feast, the crackers everyone pulled, and the firework display Dumbledore had arranged. It sounded spectacular, and even though Severus had enjoyed the time with his mum, he couldn't help but feel a bit left out.
"I will try to stay next year," he said, once his friends had finished talking. "It does sound brilliant."
"We'll have loads of fun this coming week," Sirius promised, perhaps seeing the ambivalence on Severus' face. He put a hand on top of Severus'. "The holiday isn't over yet, and rumor has it there might be a celebration for New Year's."
Severus smiled. "Are you planning to explore the castle and look for secret passageways?"
"Obviously! That, and grab food from the kitchens," James added. "There's loads of extras from the Christmas feast. We put a plate of eclairs for you by your bed."
"Thanks!" Severus answered, gratefully.
Between what was by his bed and Remus' gift, he expected he would have enough for a few weeks. James and Sirius had enormous appetites.
"Oh, and thanks for the book," Sirius added, grinning mischievously. "I already started it. Better swap the cover, or else Mum and Dad will burn it, and then me."
Severus winced. "You could leave it here."
Sirius nodded. "Might be best. Still fascinating, though."
"Yeah, and the book on Chasers was brilliant! Their tips for scoring goals will help when I try out next year," James added with enthusiasm.
"As long as it's you and not me!" Severus said, suppressing a shudder. "Flying is bad enough without having to deal with bludgers..."
James just shrugged. "That's what the Beaters are for."
"I enjoyed your gifts as well," Severus told them, almost shyly. "I hadn't really expected anything."
"You didn't?" James and Sirius echoed.
Severus stared at his cloak, not wanting to tell his friends that he'd convinced himself that they couldn't be bothered to send him anything. Especially after they had...
Fortunately, there was a truthful explanation that didn't reveal too much.
"See, I didn't really get much in the way of gifts for Christmas," he began. "My father wasted most of the money he earned. I might get a sweater or something that I needed, but little in the way of toys or interesting books."
Sirius stood and placed a hand around his shoulders. James outright pulled him into a hug.
"Git, your father," he murmured.
Severus nodded, squeezing back, letting himself enjoy the affection.
"Your mum's all right?" he asked, after letting go. "Now that she's on her own?"
Sirius pushed his chair next to Severus' so it formed a couch of sorts, and James did the same.
"I've never seen her look better," Severus answered, honestly. "Or, well, younger."
Sirius snickered. "How old is she?"
"Twenty-nine. She met my father just after her last year of school, and they married when she was eighteen. And I was born before she turned nineteen," Severus explained.
Doing the math, he really should have known before that he hadn't been born a full nine months after their marriage. Perhaps, he hadn't wanted to face it before.
"That's old, but not ancient," Sirius piped up. "My mum's thirty-five. Had a couple of miscarriages before me, and one between me and my brother. Inbreeding, I think."
"Not that you told her," James laughed.
"I like staying alive, thanks." Sirius stretched, then looked longingly at Severus' cloak. "James? Would you fetch some blankets? I'm cold."
"You're always cold," James retorted, but he left, presumably to retrieve some spare blankets.
He left the common room, and Sirius chuckled.
"Like he can talk. He sleeps under at least five!"
Severus shook his head in amusement. "The castle is rather drafty."
"I noticed. When we were in the kitchens last night, he asked if one of the elves could add two blankets to his bed," Sirius explained. "And add extra warming charms on them."
"Is he ill?" Severus wondered, frowning.
Sirius put an arm around his shoulders again. "Naw, it just runs in the Potter family. He says his parents use heating charms even in the summer. They also curl up under blankets then, too, when they relax on their couches."
"Cold-blooded, then," Severus noted. At Sirius' look of confusion, he explained, "It means you grow colder easily." Smirking a bit, Severus added, "So are snakes, you know."
Sirius sent a light tickling hex Severus' way, but he was prepared and easily blocked it, smirking as he did so.
He wasn't prepared for Sirius going at him without his wand, and before he knew it, his friend's hands were under his armpits and he was fighting for breath amongst peels of laughter.
Sirius grinned wickedly as he moved one hand to under his grin. "Take it back, Sev."
Severus nodded, tears forming in his eyes, and Sirius let go.
"Why are you torturing Severus, Sirius?" James asked, appearing in front of them with a pile of blankets. "You'll make him wish he'd stayed for the whole holiday."
"I told him you and your family got cold easily, and he compared you to snakes!" Sirius explained, grinning.
James snorted. "Sev, are you okay?"
Severus glanced from Sirius to James. He knew they wouldn't hurt him, not really, but tickling didn't seem to be off limits...
"Yes..." he said, slowly, but pulled his legs up against his chest, hoping to deny them access to most of his more ticklish areas.
Perhaps James noticed, because his look changed from teasing to...gentle.
"Glad to hear it. Now, Sirius, no more hexing or tickling the muggles way."
"All right, all right," Sirius grumbled, but it was good-natured
Satisfied, James lifted up the blankets and began spreading them over the couch. There were, Severus noted, four of them.
"Think I'll move to the side, just in case either of you change your mind," he said, casually.
"I claim the middle!" James announced. "Being a cold snake and all."
"You're not really a snake," Severus protested. "Just cold-blooded."
"I know," James said, with a laugh. He put a hand on Severus' shoulder, briefly, before burrowing himself under the blankets, leaning against Sirius. "Ahh. Nice and toasty."
Severus had to smile. It was certainly an improvement, especially with the heat from the fire. Glancing over at James, he saw that his eyes were closed, and Sirius was looking at him with an expression of fondness and amusement.
"We woke up early, because of your coming back today. Only, we stayed up a bit later than we had expected," Sirius explained, not managing to hide his own yawn.
"Oh...thank you. You didn't have to," Severus answered, softly.
"Don't be a prat, we wanted to," Sirius returned, grinning. Then, he yawned again. "You'll tell us about your holiday when we've recovered, all right?"
"I will," Severus promised. Then, rather tentatively, he added, "I spent a lot of time exploring Hogsmeade. It's brilliant."
"Lucky! Wish we could visit before third year," he said, yawning again.
Severus tentatively pulled the blankets a bit closer to him before leaning against his friend.
James shifted, then lopped an arm over him.
He rolled his eyes, then leaned against his friend, feeling his own eyes become heavy. It was clearly a losing battle.
Well, it was rather comfortable...
Notes:
Up next: the festivities aren’t over just yet!
Chapter 25
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The week before classes resumed passed faster than Severus would have thought possible. There was a routine that Sirius and James had established the week before, and it was quite easy for Severus to let himself fall into it.
They rose later than on school days, but a bit earlier than weekends--usually between 8:30 and 9:30. After breakfast in the Great Hall, they wandered the castle for a couple of hours, looking for secret passageways and shortcuts. James claimed that his dad knew about a lot of them, but wouldn't tell James, because he wanted him to find them for himself. After lunch, they lounged about in the common room for a couple of hours, then searched the library for interesting books. They had begun to read "Hogwarts, a history" and James, in particular, liked to read several books at once. Then, they went to dinner, and spent the evenings alternating between reading and playing games. Then, it was time for bed.
"Did you ask your mum if she knew about any?" Sirius asked, the morning after Severus had returned.
That day, they had attempted searching the fourth floor, but found nothing except empty classrooms. And the paintings, of course, but those were along every corridor.
"I didn't," Severus answered, with a note of apology in his voice, "but I can send her an owl."
He saw James' father's point, though. As great as it would be to find a secret passage or a shortcut, he had a great deal of fun in searching.
It was also great to be back at Hogwarts and with his friends. Sure, Remus and Peter wouldn't be back for a few more days, but he now felt completely at ease with James and Sirius. And, well, he had missed them during his week away from school.
"My mum's looking for a place to rent in Hogsmeade," he said, suddenly. "She's currently staying at the inn."
He stopped abruptly, suddenly wishing he hadn't said anything. Both of his friends came from families with vaults filled with wizarding gold, and extra houses as well. The Prince family might have been well off, but his mum was no longer a Prince.
But the look on James' and Sirius' faces was unmistakable--jealousy.
"You'll be living there for good, then? Merlin's toes, you're lucky!" James exclaimed, giving him a light shove.
Severus relaxed. Of course, Hogsmeade was a perfectly respectable place to live, far more than Cokeworth, and while his mum might only be a maid, that wouldn't be her job forever. Besides, to Sirius and James, this meant access to the shops well beyond a few days during the school year.
"She's just started looking," Severus amended, "but yes, that's our plan."
James grinned and his face took on a glassy look. "Imagine all the sweets you'll be able to buy. And the tricks at Zonkos." Giving Severus a sideways look, he added, "Not that you're likely to spend much pocket money there."
He shrugged. "I went in and made a list of what's there, just in case."
"Ohhhh, can we take a look?" Sirius asked, playfully grabbing at his robes.
"I suppose," Severus answered, feigning annoyance, but he couldn't hold back a smile.
So, after a quick lunch, they headed back to the common room to wait for Severus to retrieve his notes. He was about to head out when he saw them enter the dormitory, looking rather sheepish.
"We reckoned we ought to keep it quiet, just in case anyone comes by," Sirius explained, flopping onto his bed.
That made sense, so Severus nodded. He joined James, who had already made himself comfortable on Sirius' bed.
"Take off your shoes, would you?" Sirius asked, removing his own, and letting out a barely controlled whimper. "To hell with these," he muttered under his breath.
"Too small?" Severus asked, sympathetically.
"They weren't at the start of the term, but I can barely get my feet into them, now," Sirius complained, giving his shoes an accusatory look. "My mum doesn't believe in buying shoes that grow with you. Says the charms ruin the quality. Well, they're too small now, and my feet are paying the price."
"Will your parents send you a new pair, if you send them an owl?" James asked, settling next to Sirius and putting an arm around his shoulders.
Severus noted that James, who was just as tall as Sirius, had been able to remove his shoes without any difficulty.
"Probably. They ignored Christmas, as you know, but I don't reckon they'd let me go without clothes or boots or anything," Sirius answered, stretching his feet with a pained look on his face.
"They...ignored Christmas?" Severus echoed.
Sirius shrugged, now placing his hands on one foot and beginning to massage it.
"They ignored my birthday, remember? I expected the same for Christmas." Sirius shrugged, as though he didn't care, but there was a look of pain on his face. Although, that might have been from spending the morning in too-small shoes. "Say, either of you mind if I remove my socks?"
Severus shrugged, his James made a show of smelling Sirius' feet, and nearly passing out.
"At least wash them, first," he requested, with a grin.
Sirius muttered something about James not being funny, but placed his feet into his slippers before heading to the bathroom. A minute later, there was the sound of water running.
James turned to Severus, his face darkening. "He hides it, but Sirius is more hurt than he lets on. And not just because of his shoes."
Severus sighed. "It's rotten, how his family treats him. Can we help?"
"Yeah." James sighed. "He's spending Easter here, but he'll have to return home for at least part of the summer holidays. I spoke to my parents and we're going to invite him over--well, all of you," he added, with a grin, "but Dad says it wouldn't be good form to invite him for more than a month."
"Why not?" Severus asked, frowning a bit.
"Because the Blacks are an ancient pure blood family, and we're just a notch below them. Potters aren't part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, mind, but we call ourselves pure-blood because of the grandparent understanding," James went on.
Severus frowned again. Sacred Twenty-Eight? Grandparent understanding? He opened his mouth to ask about it, but Sirius returned, then, and headed to his bed.
"All clean. Smell, if you like," he said, with a grin.
James rolled his eyes, but put his nose close enough to Sirius' feet to get a good whiff.
"Loads better."
"Glad you approve."
Sirius began to rub at his feet, trying to stretch out his toes. They were bright red, but that could have been from the hot water he always used to wash with. Severus noted, though, that there were sharp indentations along the edges of his feet, and more along his toes. Severus didn't want to stare, but he imagined it was quite painful.
"Sev, have you got the list? From Zonkos?" Sirius asked, and Severus looked up from his friend's feet.
"Yes," Severus began, but James had also noticed his friend's bare feet, and let out a noise that all but drowned him out.
"That looks awful," James murmured, watching as Sirius began to rub at his feet again.
"It was worse before." Sirius tried to smile. "Just don't make me cram my poor feet into those shoes for at least another hour."
Severus winced. He would have offered a trade, except his feet were smaller than Sirius'. So were James'.
James rolled his eyes and gently moved his friend's hands away. He placed his hands on top of the foot and beginning to work at it. Sirius let out a small murmur and his eyes closed.
"Feel any better?" James asked him, sending a smile in Severus' direction.
"Loads." After a moment, he added, "You know, I reckon if I send them an owl, they'll send the next size. They might hate me, but they wouldn't force me to wear too small shoes. It would look bad if that sort of thing got out."
"Maybe, but they're still prats to ignore you on Christmas," James practically growled, looking up to face Severus. "It's not like they can't afford presents. They're just doing it to hurt him."
"My uncle says that they would go back to how everything was if I went to Dumbledore and got a resorting," Sirius explained, eyes still closed, "but even if he agreed, which I doubt, I would still end up here. Likely as not, I'd be even more Gryffindor than I was to start with."
James grinned, moving his hands to the arch of Sirius' foot. Sirius looked almost like a cat, and if they weren't talking about his hateful parents, Severus thought he might have started purring.
"What does it say that two of my closest friends were very nearly snakes?" James mused. "Ouch!"
Sirius had given him a light swing on the arm.
"It was...Severus?" he asked, hopefully, giving Severus an apologetic look.
Severus snorted.
"Don't cause bodily harm to the person giving you a foot massage," he advised.
"Foot massage? We call them foot rubs in my house," James noted, removing his hands from Sirius' foot.
"And we just cram our feet into too tight shoes for being blood traitors," Sirius added, giving them both a sad puppy look, and wiggling his foot at them. "Please? I'm sorry for hitting you," he added, in a hopeful voice.
James rolled his eyes, but took Sirius' foot in his hands once more.
"Show us the list, will you, Sev?" Sirius requested, giving Severus a winning smile.
Severus read the items from the list, accompanied by their prices.
"Why would they sell sugar quills at Zonkos instead of Honeydukes?" James wondered, frowning a bit.
Severus shrugged. "No idea. They're at Honeydukes as well, but it is odd that they'd be at a joke shop."
"The frog spawn soap sounds great," Sirius put in, eyes still closed.
James, Severus noted, had switched to the other food.
"Not if you end up using it in the tub," Severus put in, rather darkly. "I wouldn't fancy feeling that on my feet."
Sirius gave an involuntary squirm.
"Well, obviously, we wouldn't use it on each other!" James assured him. "Now, the biting teacups sound funny. Wonder if they would bite at each other."
Severus let out a snort at the mental image. "The people who work there must need gloves to keep from getting hurt."
"I wouldn't mind working there," Sirius mused. "I'll have to work somewhere, most likely, after school."
"You'd be better at inventing than selling," James noted. "Not that you wouldn't be able to sell..."
"Well, maybe. I reckon I still have some time to think about it." He stretched his feet and let out a sigh. "Ahh, I think I can move my toes, now. Thanks, James."
"You're welcome. Let's see if we can find an expansion charm to keep your feet from getting deformed," James suggested, and his tone wasn't entirely joking.
Severus didn't disagree. "There likely is, only it might not be a first year spell."
"We can manage a second year," Sirius said, sitting upright against his pillows.
"Probably," James agreed, shifting his position so he was next to Sirius. "Severus, shall I do your feet next?"
"Er, that's all right," Severus answered, quickly.
Hugs were one thing, and he supposed he didn't mind occasionally sleeping next to either of them, especially if they were half-asleep. But something as intimate as rubbing/massaging his feet? He wasn't even sure he'd feel comfortable if his mum offered.
"All right." James gave him a smile, no doubt showing he wasn't offended. "If you change your mind..."
Severus nodded, a bit abruptly. "I'll check The Standard Book of Spells to see if there's anything. Before Sirius' feet cramp up permanently from too small shoes."
"And I'll owl my parents and my uncle," Sirius offered. "So James' poor ickle hands don't cramp up."
James gently pounded his face with a pillow.
Notes:
Next up: Classes resume, and everyone has to decide whether to face their worst fear immediately...or at the final exam.
Have a comment? Please let me know what you think! 😁
Chapter 26
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Peter and Remus returned the morning before classes were due to resume. In that time, they had learnt the Expansion Charm, and Sirius had received a brief letter from his father telling him to expect a larger pair of shoes and winter boots within the next week. The letter contained no endearments, not even a "dear" before his name at the beginning of the salutation, and ended with his father's signature. Sirius crumpled it up after showing it to James and Severus.
"At least they care enough to buy you new shoes," Severus offered.
He knew that his own father wouldn't have bothered, had his mum still been with him.
"Only because they don't want to be seen as neglecting something as basic as my clothes," Sirius answered, shortly. "Anyway, with the Expansion Charm, it's hardly necessary."
The charm had been a second year one, but easy enough to learn.
Not that Sirius remained in a bad mood for long. There was simply too much fun to be had in the few days before classes began. They had taken a break from exploring the castle, opting instead to remain in front of the fire in the common room and toast snacks over the fire.
Severus was happy to see the return of his roommates...his friends. He'd enjoyed the week with his mum, and even more so the time with Sirius and James. They hadn't made him feel like an outsider at all. But upon seeing Remus and Peter, he felt a bit as though he was back with his entire family.
Well, nearly. He had yet to see Lily, although he had received an owl from her, thanking him for the "delightful lion."
The five of them returned to their dormitory upon Remus' and Peter's arrival, who had been swallowed up by hugs from Sirius and James. Severus had hugged them, too, but he was sure his hug hadn't left them deprived of air.
Not that either had minded Sirius and James' greetings. Peter, especially, seemed to enjoy practically being knocked over by James and Sirius. He didn't quite fit in with either of the two groups, Severus knew, even though both welcomed him.
"How are you feeling, Remus?" Sirius asked, giving him the once over.
Remus smiled. "Well enough."
That was, Severus noted as he chewed on a chocolate eclair from the batch James had swiped from the kitchen, rather an understatement. After Remus had returned from visiting relatives before, he'd been unequivocally exhausted, even ill, for the following day. He returned to himself before long, but it was an unspoken understanding that Remus would be even worse after the holidays.
But no, Remus looked as well as ever. There weren't any circles under his eyes, and he didn't yawn once.
Severus was surprised, and could tell that Sirius and James were, but no one would say anything.
After a pleasant afternoon of snacking and catching up with each other about their holidays (Sirius didn't say anything about his parents, but occasionally cast baleful looks at his charmed shoes), they headed into the Great Hall for dinner.
There, Severus found himself accosted by Lily into a bear hug.
"Sev! There you are!" she laughed, releasing him after a moment. "Thank you so much for the lion! He's brilliant, and even Petunia was amazed by it--for a moment, anyway. Before her scowl returned!"
Severus grinned. "I'm glad. Had good holiday, then?"
She nodded, taking a seat next to him. Casting a look at James, who was sitting next to Severus on the other side, Lily lowered her voice just a bit.
"I had a great time seeing Mum and Dad again. They missed me a lot, you see. But Petunia was a real sourpuss." Her green eyes flashed a bit. "When she wasn't ignoring me, she was making rude remarks about how my 'freak school' was a fraud and all sorts of rubbish. I tried to reconcile with her for the first couple of days, and I had bought a special present for her for Christmas, but...you know how stubborn and how downright awful she can me. I spoke to Mum and Dad, and we agreed to ignore her when she was being hateful."
Severus nodded, slowly. "Did it work?"
Lily sighed. "She didn't turn back to being Tuney, but she became a bit more pleasant after a few days of us ignoring her. Although she still went off with her own friends, her normal friends of her own, as much as she could."
Severus took her hand. "And your present? Did you give it to her?"
Lily shrugged. "I gave it to Mum and Dad to give her for her birthday if she got nicer. Anyway, Petunia didn't buy anything for me for Christmas. Not that I care all that much about gifts from her...it's just..."
Severus squeezed her hand. "I know."
"So, how's your mum?" Lily asked, brightening a bit. "Was she happy to see you?"
"Yes, she's much happier. Very busy at the inn...although she wants to work at the apothecary, soon. It's hard work, even if she can use magic," Severus explained. "But we're both happy that my father isn't there."
It was Lily's turn to squeeze his hand. But then, the food appeared, and Lily made Severus promise to tell her more after dinner.
"Severus? You up for a game of Exploding Snap after dinner?" Remus asked from across the table, once they had begun to eat.
"I was going to have a chat with Lily," he answered, forcing himself not to sound apologetic.
"Oh, all right, then," Remus answered, with a smile.
Then, Severus felt Lily's hand on his shoulder. "Perhaps afterwards? We won't be all evening."
Remus nodded. "You're welcome to join us, if you like."
She gave him an evaluating glance. "Perhaps."
After they ate, Lily and Severus went in search for a private place to talk. Their first stop was the Gryffindor tower, but that proved to be a mistake, as the common room was too crowded to have a private conversation. Lily thought that her dormitory would be the same--not that Severus would have been allowed in there. The old-fashioned founders of the school had enchanted the female dormitories to produce a hard slide if a boy ever tried to enter. Severus wouldn't have been so irritated about that were it not for females going able to come and go freely to the male ones. Not that this happened, but it was the principle. Exclusion from dormitories by sex should be consistent.
They wandered the corridors for a bit, which were quite drafty, and Severus and Lily both knew that the empty classrooms were likely off-limits. Finally, they settled on the owlery, which was always open, and it was large enough to be able to hold a private conversation even if others were present.
Fortunately, a quick scan around the room showed that there were none. Severus supposed that the students who had just returned from holiday wouldn't write that very evening unless it were urgent.
"I heard that you spent half your holidays here, with James and Sirius. How were they?" Lily asked, without preamble.
"Oh, it was fun," Severus reassured her, smiling. "They're loads better than when we met them on the train. Especially since we're in the same house," he added, with a bit of a laugh.
"I believe you, Sev," Lily answered, stroking a tawny owl who was hooting softly. "If you think they're decent enough, I trust you."
"Not that they don't get into trouble," Severus allowed, with a smile. "But it's mostly harmless."
Lily chuckled. "Like turning Mrs. Norris blue?"
"It was a one-hour charm." Severus was grinning now. "And no one would turn them in."
"Obviously." Lily wrinkled up her nose. "That creature is an insult to cats."
"I'll tell her that the next time I see her," Severus threatened.
"Don't you dare, Severus!"
He grinned. "Did you know...my mum said that Filch had a Mrs. Norris when she was there? Either it's a very, very old cat, or he gives all of his cats the same name," Severus noted.
"Sure. Like the goldfish the teacher has in primary, only it can't possibly be the same one your dad says was there," Lily said, with a smile.
Severus shrugged, having had no experience with muggle school.
"Tell me more about your time at home," he requested. "You said your parents were really glad to see you?"
Nodding, Lily spent the next ten or so minutes recounting the past two weeks. It was so full of entertainment that Severus wondered how she'd managed to finish her assignments--not that he would ask. It was full of trips to muggle places that Severus had been to only on occasion, and only with Lily. Some of the things, Severus had only heard of, never gone to firsthand. Movies, skating rinks, the shops, a few children's museums, a dance show called "The Nutcracker," and even the zoo!
"Did you sleep at all?" he teased her.
Lily laughed. "I won't deny that it was eventful, but I had a lot of fun. Mum and Dad asked about you. I, er, wasn't sure what I should say. I ended up telling them that you were spending half of the holidays with your family and the other half here."
"You can tell them Mum divorced my dad," Severus answered, feeling touched. "I don't mind."
Lily nodded. "I won't send them an owl just to let them know, but I won't hide it." After a pause, she asked, "How does our world view...divorce?"
Severus frowned in concentration, trying to recall what his reading had told him.
"In the case of my mum and my father, who's a muggle, it's likely cause for celebration. Marriage between magical folk and muggles is allowed, of course, but it's complicated. Statutes of secrecy and all that. Anyway, Mum got married by a muggle, which is accepted as a marriage, but not as good as the magical ceremony. Leaving him was a lot easier, then, as all she needed was for him to sign the papers," Severus explained. "And that's more magically binding than the old marriage was."
"And when they're both magical?" Lily pressed.
Severus hid a sigh. The rules were the same, except not in practice. Pure bloods who divorced endured some disapproval from the wizarding world, but half bloods or muggle borns received stigma. And, of course, regardless of what had happened to cause the divorce, the pure blood was viewed as the victim.
Half blood divorce was similar to pure blood.
"It happens, on occasion, but anyone in the Ministry will discourage it unless there's proven mistreatment or infidelity. Both of which are hard to prove. Strictly speaking, it's allowed but doesn't happen all that much. Easier for the two to live separately and make some excuse," Severus explained. "Do you know anyone in your year whose parents are divorced?"
Lily shook her head. "Dorcas' father died from Dragon Pox, but the rest of us have parents who are alive and married."
"I think Peter's dad is dead, and either a muggle or muggle-born, because he says he's a half-blood," Severus added.
Lily looked annoyed, her eyes narrowing. "People like us don't even count as a few points?"
"I don't make the rules, Lily," he murmured.
She sighed. "I know, and it's rotten luck for you that you were landed with a total prat of a father. That's worse."
Severus put an arm around her shoulder. "If it helps, you are considered pure-blood if all of your grandparents have any magic."
She chuckled. "Then I better marry someone with magic, eh?"
"If you care about that. And if you want your kids to have magic. It's not really clear what happens if a muggle born and muggle get married," Severus added.
She laughed again. "Let's talk about something else. You spent some time at Hogsmeade, didn't you? How was it?"
So, Severus spent the next several minutes talking about the marvels of the sole wizarding village in Great Britain. As he spoke, he remembered the vast amount of sweets that he and his mum had purchased, and figured that there would be more than enough to share with Lily. He'd save some of the chocolates for her birthday, just in case she didn't like the quills...
"The Shrieking Shack sounds terrifying! Did you hear anything when you were there?" she asked, eyes widening.
Severus shook his head, rather regretfully. "No, but I reckon it's mostly at night."
"Yes, that's when it would be most scary," Lily agreed. "Oh, it sounds brilliant! You're lucky that you'll be living there. I'm really jealous."
"Maybe you can visit for a bit over the summer," Severus offered. "Mum's looking for a place we can afford, and she wants something large enough for me to have friends over."
"All right, but I won't visit when James or Sirius does," Lily said, with determination. "I know they're not as bad as they seemed... but my parents would have a fit if I was visiting with other boys."
Severus understood. His own father had forbidden him to spend the night at the Evans', never mind that they were eleven upon leaving for school.
"I know how boys think, and I won't have my son impregnating another witch!" he'd shouted when his mum had protested.
"Sure, I understand," Severus answered, with a smile. "You'll come with me to our dormitory tonight, though? My mom and I bought sweets from Hogsmeade, and I was going to hand them out."
"I suppose," Lily replied, with a laugh. She put a hand around his shoulder. "I'm really glad things are going well for both of you."
"Me too, Lily," he said, softly.
Looking at his watch, it was still two hours before curfew, and that was only for being in your house, not in your room. They walked back at a leisurely pace, and Severus couldn't help but feel a spark of pleasure when Lily saw his friends greet him like it had been two weeks, instead of less than as many hours, upon seeing him.
The following week would be be far from relaxing. In part because Severus and all of his first year students would face their most difficult lesson in Defense Against the Dark Arts that they had faced to date.
Bogarts.
Notes:
Next up: Classes and preparing to face your worst fear in public. What could possibly go wrong?
Enjoying this fic? Have ideas for future chapters? I won't know unless you leave a comment below!
Chapter 27
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The first week of classes was not exactly relaxing. All of the teachers seemed to take the approach that with the Christmas holidays over, it was back to work. All the same, Severus didn't mind. He also knew, based on the grumbles from the older students, that this was as light a workload as they were likely to receive. The fifth and seventh years, in particular, were essentially living in the library, never mind that their OWLs and NEWTs were several months away.
Sirius received three new pairs of shoes that fit him perfectly on Wednesday morning. One was for daily wear, one was for dressy occasions (not that they had those in their first year...), and a pair of winter boots. They arrived, according to the wrapping, directly from the store.
"My mum and dad would have sent them directly, with a note and some treats," James had confided to them, after Sirius had raced back to his dormitory to put all but two pairs away before breakfast ended. "Can't believe they didn't even include a note."
Severus agreed. His friend's parents were making it all to clear that they would provide for the physical needs of their oldest son--but nothing more. It was one thing for kids to hold grudges, but your own parents?
Well, his own father hadn't ever forgiven him for having magic, so perhaps he could understand.
Sirius seemed to take it in stride, though. Perhaps he was resigned, or maybe he was holding out hope that they would get over their disappointment when he had to return home. Not that this would be for a long time, as they all planned to stay at school for the Easter holidays.
It was rather nice, Severus thought as he watched Sirius and James exchange notes in yet another sleep-inducing History of Magic lesson, that they were all back together and in the routine of lessons.
The next day came the most interesting lesson yet in Defense Against the Dark Arts. They would begin their unit on dark creatures, beginning with bogarts.
"Nobody knows what a bogart truly looks like," Professor Virgil began, pointing her wand at a noisy box. "Can anyone tell me why?"
Remus raised his hand, and at her nod, said, "They take on the form of the thing that scares us the most."
"Very good. Five points to Gryffindor. Yes, bogarts' are not dangerous in the way many other dark creatures are, because they cannot physically harm you. That being said, they are very skillful shapeshifters, and if someone is left around one long enough, they can cause quite a bit of damage. Does anyone else know what can be used as a weapon?"
Severus raised his hand, and at the teacher's nod, answered, "Laughter."
"Indeed. Laughter will destroy a bogart. Which means that you must learn to either laugh at what scares you or, a far more easier task, use your mind to make your fear less frightening.
"For example," she continued, hearing the murmurs of confusion, "my greatest fear is sharks. When I face a bogart, strictly in classroom demonstrations, I imagine the shark covered in butterflies."
This produced a great deal of laughter, and the witch smiled.
"Your assignment for the next class is ten inches on your bogart, and how you would make it humorous. We will put this to the test--on a voluntary basis only, but if I may provide an incentive, you will earn twenty-five points for your house, and no homework for two weeks." Looking at the class, she continued, "I shall caution you, though, that facing the bogart will also be a part of your final exam, although it will be conducted privately. If you opt not to take a turn in class, or aren't entirely successful, I urge you to visit during my office hours."
She dismissed the class after providing more useful bits of information about bogarts, pausing so they could take notes.
"Bogarts already?" James murmured, once they were far from the classroom. "Dad said he didn't encounter those dark creatures until the end of his second year."
"I suppose they've changed a bit since your dad was here," Remus pointed out. "How many decades ago was that?"
"Very funny," James retorted, but he couldn't hide a grin. "Shall we get started on that assignment after lunch, then?"
The others agreed, although Peter with less enthusiasm than the others.
Severus didn't need to think hard to imagine his worst fear, having encountered the man every day of his life until September of the previous year. How to make his father less scary? Now, that was a difficult question.
At least it was the last close of the week, and Friday afternoons were always free. When the weather was a bit nicer, James would coax the others to come with him to the Quidditch pitch and borrow a few of the school brooms. This wasn't an activity that Sirius or Severus enjoyed very much, as their flying skills were well below average. Remus and Peter were decent enough on a broomstick, though, and didn't need much persuasion. The end result was usually Sirius and Severus flying (or trying to remain on their broomstick) for several minutes before retiring to the benches.
Today, as it had been since before the winter had begun, it was far too cold for even James to want to go outside and face the bitter cold. After a quick meal, during which Lily and her friend Dorcas joined them, they headed to the library to begin their assignments.
"Does everyone know what they're going to write about?" Peter asked, his voice quiet enough not to attract attention from Madam Pince, yet still audible.
"I do," Severus answered.
"I thought I did, until it happened," Sirius said, rather glumly. "Problem is, I don't know how to make it humorous."
James chewed on his quill, then stopped as a few pieces of feathers got stuck between his teeth. "Blech!"
Sirius gave him a playful swat. "What did you expect? They're not sugar quills."
"Now you tell me," James deadpanned.
Severus snorted, and even Peter and Remus looked up from their work to smile.
"Anyway, what is your bogart, if you want to tell us?" James asked Sirius.
He sighed. "Well, it's sort of already happened, but it's my family rejecting me. That is, burning me off the tapestry."
"Does that hurt? The burning, I mean?" Lily asked, wide-eyed.
"Probably not. I dunno. Some of my relatives are really into the dark arts, so I wouldn't put it past them." Sirius looked sour. "But that wasn't quite what scares me. It's, well, being alone. Without family."
James gave Sirius' hand a squeeze. "I told you, my parents will take you in if that happens."
"They haven't even met me."
James studied Sirius in mock consternation. "Guess we better keep it that way, then."
Sirius couldn't hold in a snort at that.
"Since we're talking about it just as a fear, how can we make it funny?" Remus asked, softly.
"Well," Lily began, "my mum used to have horrible stage fright, until her mum gave her some advice. You could give it a try."
"Yeah?"
She grinned. "Imagine them in their knickers."
Sirius let out a loud guffaw that made Madam Pince look up from the small girl she was helping, and glare in their direction.
They all mouthed, "Sorry!" and she looked slightly mollified. Enough to turn her attention back to the girl, anyway.
"Don't get us kicked out," James murmured, but he was grinning.
"It's Lily's fault. Imagine my mum and dad in their knickers...well, undergarments, anyway." He began shaking in silent after. "I'll do that," he managed, after getting control over himself.
Severus wondered how to make his own father less frightening. He'd seen the man wearing half of his clothes before, and hadn't seemed any less terrifying. More, really.
After some thought, he settled on giving him curly, pink and purple colored hair, and similar clothes.
He could always use another tactic when he faced the bogart.
Perhaps, he had given too much thought on the assignment, judging by his nightmares that occurred mere hours later.
Notes:
Next up: Severus learns a few things about Sirius' family. Also, will he be able to face his bogart?
Have something to say about this chapter? Anything you want to see? Let me know!
Chapter 28
Notes:
This chapter will have the most fluff of all the ones I've written in this fic. Be warned.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus could feel the belt hit his face when he let out a scream.
Then, he felt himself being shaken awake.
"Mum?" he asked, momentarily forgetting that he was at school.
"No, it's Sirius," his roommate answered. "Are you all right?"
Severus didn't answer right away, so his friend added, "That must have been some nightmare, huh?"
Concerned.
Severus nodded, then sat up, trying to get a sense of his surroundings, willing himself to, if not forget the dream, at least put it aside for the moment.
Of course, when it still felt so real, this was quite impossible.
He could see that Sirius was still there, now standing at the side of his bed. Or, his frame, anyway. Even with the curtains pushed aside somewhat, it was too dark to makes out much in the way of details. Even so, he had the inclination that Sirius was trying to stand far away enough not to crowd him, yet close enough to communicate without waking the others.
"I'm sorry," Severus murmured, "for waking you."
"You weren't loud or anything, Sev. Want...want me to stay with you a bit?"
Severus was about to say no, but found his head nodding of its own violation. He took a deep breath, and then Sirius was next to him.
His heart wouldn't slow down, and he couldn't seem to get enough air.
Then, Sirius wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"It's okay, Sev. Take a deep breath. Slowly," he instructed, quietly. In the same gentle voice as before. "Good. Like that."
Severus brought the covers around himself. Sirius kept his arm around him, even pulled him close. It helped, at least a little. Severus could still see the boggart, but he couldn't feel the belt against his back anymore.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Sirius asked, after several minutes.
But Severus shook his head. "Not now."
Sirius wrapped his other arm around him. "All right."
"Please...don't leave just yet," Severus whispered, suddenly afraid that Sirius would decide that he had done enough.
He had. Severus wouldn't have expected his friend to check on him after a nightmare. Sirius wasn't his mum, after all.
Still.
As tired as he was, he didn't think he could manage falling asleep on his own.
The bogart might be back.
Sirius tightened his arms around him, and Severus felt him stretch himself out next to him. "Don't worry, Severus. Swear to Merlin and all. You're stuck with me."
Severus nodded, then closed his eyes. He felt himself begin to shake as the the images from his nightmare inevitably appeared in his mind, and he let out a low, almost visceral whimper before he could stop himself. Then, Sirius began murmuring something, something comforting, and he held Severus tighter, rocking him a bit.
Slowly, Severus calmed enough to fall asleep.
This time, he had no nightmares.
When he woke up the next morning, Sirius was still there, holding him in a tight hug. Severus felt a little embarrassed, but mostly relieved. Grateful, too. He would hardly have expected such comfort from his own mother, much less a fairly new friend.
It made him a bit uncomfortable, too. What if Sirius woke up feeling-if not angry-then pitying or otherwise looking down on Severus?
All too soon, Sirius' eyes opened, and he turned to Severus with a gentle smile. "Hey. Sleep any better?"
Severus nodded, briefly. "Er, I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for?" Sirius asked, stretching contentedly.
"For waking you up," Severus explained, feeling it should be obvious. "Last night."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I'm surprised that this is your first nightmare. Especially with that prat as a father."
"What do you mean?"
Sirius closed his eyes for a moment, then leaned on his side.
"See, I have really good hearing. Trained myself at a young age. Comes in handy when trying to eavesdrop." He grinned, and Severus let out a small laugh. "I started training myself because my younger brother, Reg, used to get horrible nightmares. He slept next door to me, before school, and I'd let him come in my room if he had one. Course, more often, I'd go to his when he had one." Sirius gave a small shrug. "Guess hearing you made me remember when it was him. I knew it wasn't, but the instincts are still there. Whenever someone here has a bad dream, I hear it, and see if they're all right. You're the only one who hasn't had one by now." Sirius tousled Severus' hair. "I reckon you ought to win some prize."
Severus laughed. "I don't need a prize."
"Yes, well." Sirius shrugged. "I reckon I am the mother hen of our year. Especially being the oldest. You'll just have to deal with it for the next six and a half years."
He smiled, and Sirius grinned back.
"You mentioned your brother," he began. "Is he your only brother? How old is he?" Severus asked. He recalled that Sirius wasn't an only child, but he hadn't spoken very much about his brother before now.
Sirius gave a small chuckle. "Just him and me. Reg-Regalus, formally-is ten and a half. His birthday is in May, so we're a year and a half apart. Nearly. My birthday is in the beginning of November and his is at the end of May. Anyway, he'll start school next year."
"Are the two of you close?" Severus asked.
"I thought we were. Me being older, I was supposed to set a good example. Which I haven't done, being in Gryffindor. Be great if Reg were there as well. Mum and Dad would explode from shock." Sirius laughed, but it sounded bitter. "Reckon they're telling him all about what a blood traitor I am and how the family honor rests on him, even though he's younger. I haven't heard from him. They might have forbidden him to write, but if he cared enough, you'd think he would have found a way." He paused. "Maybe."
Severus wasn't sure what to say. Sirius' parents sounded nearly as bad as his father, but he had a feeling that if they reconciled, such words might be remembered later. On the other hand, that seemed far from likely from where things stood currently, and his friend was hurting now.
"I'm sorry, Sirius. It shouldn't matter where you get sorted, you know?" he asked, tentatively.
Sirius shrugged. "I dunno. I reckon we wouldn't have had the chance to be friends had you been in Slytherin, right?"
Severus nodded, slowly. It hurt, hearing that, but it was true. The three had gotten off on the wrong foot on the train, and could have become rivals, even enemies, had he been in Slytherin. Not because Sirius and James were awful people, but because they wouldn't have had the chance to get to know each other. Not in the same way as living with someone, anyway.
"I know," he said, instead.
Sirius put an arm around Severus' shoulders, and he smiled. The warmth of the blanket seeped into him.
"Mind if I ask what got you screaming like someone was out to murder you?" Sirius asked, his voice taking on the gentle tone of the previous night.
Severus didn't want to talk about it, but Sirius deserved to know. Especially if it happened again.
Besides, it was nothing he didn't already know...
"It was my boggart. I dreamt about my father chasing me around with his belt," Severus admitted, his voice barely louder than a whisper. "Not much different than what would really happen, only I had learned not to run around the age of...six, maybe."
Sirius swore under his breath. "Can I give you a hug?"
Severus nodded, and Sirius' arms crept around him. The hug was as tight and firm and warm as those from his mum, and while it was a bit hard to breathe, he didn't mind. Then, Sirius let go, and repositioned himself so he was holding Severus against his side. Severus' head rested on Sirius' shoulders, and he felt the blankets pull up again around his neck.
"Your mum's blanket is mighty toasty," Sirius murmured. "I'm not saying you ought to have nightmares more, but if you do, you really shouldn't feel bad about it. I reckon this could warm up all five of us."
Severus chuckled, and wondered if he could ask his mum to make Sirius one for his next birthday.
His own eyes feeling heavy, Severus felt sleep take over.
Severus was relieved to awaken each morning after his nightmare without having experienced any others. All the same, he wasn't looking forward to facing the bogart when the following Friday came along.
At least, he wasn't the only one. James had been unusually quiet during breakfast, and Sirius had barely touched his plate. Peter and Remus had their usual appetites, yet seemed tense. Were they all considering facing the bogart? The promised reward couldn't be worth facing your worst fear...except they would have to do so during the final exam, and wasn't it better to get some practice beforehand?
"Dad told me he didn't have to do this until his second year," James muttered as they walked the corridors. "Mind, there was a different teacher then."
"There's been a different teacher for this lesson almost every year," Sirius put in. "Before I left for school, my parents told me that it was Dumbledore's doing."
"How can it be? That it's only the one lesson?" Severus asked, startled.
Sirius shrugged. "They only sent me there because everyone in the family has gone. Pretty sure that there was a family meeting about switching everyone to Durmstrangs once he became headmaster. You know how they are. Slytherin is the only good house, pure-bloods are the only ones worth associate with, blah blah blah."
"Doesn't Slytherin let in half-bloods?" Peter asked.
"They'd find a way to blame him on that." Sirius sighed. "All right, ready to face the music?"
They took their usual seats together, but the atmosphere was far more tense than usual. Almost no one spoke above a whisper before the professor entered the classroom and wordlessly summoned their homework.
"Down to business, then. Bogarts. Before we begin, let's review the basics..."
Severus took notes, even though he remembered everything from the previous lesson and his reading. It gave him something to do, after all, and something to think about to replace the terrifying form of his father.
All too soon, however, it was time to face the bogart. Professor Virgil removed the box from under her desk, and pointed her wand at it. Immediately, noises began to emerge from the box.
"I cast a silencing charm on our dark friend before," she explained, clearly noting the looks of confusion on their faces. "Some can be quite loud."
James raised his hand. "Some, Professor?"
She smiled. "You can tell the age by the amount of noise they emit. I selected a younger one. They are quite noisy, but settle down after a time. If they live that long. I don't plan to have any of you destroy this bogart, as we need it for the final exam. Very astute question. Mr. Potter. Five points to Gryffindor."
He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"If there are no other questions, let us begin. First volunteer?"
Severus stood. Might as well go first and get it over with.
"Very good, Mr. Snape! Come to the center of the class...and the rest of the volunteers, line up behind him. Quickly, now!" she instructed.
Severus felt Sirius' hand squeeze his shoulder, briefly. "Good luck, mate."
"Thanks," he murmured.
As soon as the box opened, a drunken Tobias Snape emerged. He was far taller than he had been, easily three times Severus' height. Twice his stature. He was holding his best belt in his hands. Severus remembered that the daily ones were bad enough, but worn out. The pointy parts from the buckle-whatever they were called-hurt, but not as much as the leather.
But when Tobias Snape was in a particularly foul mood, he went in search of his best belt. And even without much effort on his father's end, it tore his skin. Of coarse, Tobias Snape always put more effort into the beating when he used that one.
Severus froze, the memories overtaking him. He could feel the pain, feel the man's hand holding him down, squeezing his arms until he was sure they would break. (They only had once. An accidental, he'd told his mum, later.)
It's not him. He can't hurt you.
Even as the figure advanced upon him, Severus forced himself to think of his father in his mum's undergarments. The floor length shift. The skirt covering it. Whatever it was that she kept around her chest, even when she slept. He focused hard, then, suddenly, imagined them covered in flowers. Because that would be truly funny.
The change was immediate. The face remained, but the dirty shirt and trousers became his mum's undergarments. Severus sniggered to himself, then allowed himself a belly laugh. He laughed until he was crying, even as the bogart flailed-and tripped on the floor length undergarments. Severus felt Sirius slap him on the back, and heard his chortles of laughter.
"Well done, Mr. Snape! Please take your seat. Mr. Black, if you would..."
Even though Severus had defeated the bogart, the image of his father refused to leave his mind. He barely noticed as the bogart became a very tall, very handsome woman whose tiny frame could hardly support the volume of her voice. He did notice Sirius shrink back as she waved her wand at him, and wrapped his arms around himself. Thankfully, Sirius recovered after a few moments, and the woman's black, swirling velvet robes became her undergarments. They were identical to what Severus had imagined his father in, except instead of flowers, variations of "I love muggles!" appeared. The bogart tried to hide the writing as Sirius began to laugh, but his laughter only grew louder.
And then, his turn was over. James had opted not to go, as well as Remus, but Peter went after several other students. His greatest fear, as it turned out, was his mum's death. But he changed her unmoving body into a muggle style ghost, and managed to laugh. Severus wondered what he would have done had this been his greatest fear-and promptly stopped that line of thought. His father as a bogart had been bad enough.
At least, Severus thought, he'd only have to face the bogart once more. And his real father-never again.
The class' reactions upon leaving the lesson felt rather mixed. Some were excited, having faced their worst fears. Others, particularly those who hadn't gone, were more reserved. Only a couple of students besides himself and Sirius looked grim at having faced the boggart. Peter looked positively elated, and Severus made sure to congratulate him.
"Rotten things, boggarts," Sirius murmured as he cut into his food with more force than was necessary.
"At least they can't physically hurt us," Severus muttered, glancing at his own food without much appetite.
James, who was sitting between them, put an arm around each. "You're braver than me. I chickened out."
"Nothing wrong with not wanting to face your worst fear in public, James," Remus reasoned. "Better to go at it alone, if you can."
"I suppose so. Partly, I wasn't entirely sure which fear the bogart would go with." James gave them both of their shoulders a squeeze. "Reckon you all went in knowing."
"Unfortunately," they answered, at once.
They finished eating without saying anything else.
The nightmare returned that night, but it was worse than before. Severus awoke suddenly, throat raw, only to see Sirius at his side.
"Some nightmare, huh?" his friend asked, lighting his wand so Severus could see his face.
Severus nodded, trying to fight back a sob. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up again."
"Oh, don't be a prat." Sirius promptly climbed into the bed and pulled Severus into a tight, reassuring hug. "Want to talk about it?"
Before Severus could answer, James was there, wand also lit. "Severus? Have a nightmare?"
He was sure his face reddened at least ten shades, but he nodded. "I didn't mean to wake you."
James snorted. "You're hardly the only one who gets nightmares. Remus wakes us up from nightmares at least twice a month, and Peter's had a few since September."
"As have you," Sirius retorted.
"I was getting to that," James retorted. Turning to Severus, he added, "Shall I join you?"
Severus gave a faint nod, and James slipped in, then pulled the covers over all three of them. "Merlin, your mum's blanket is toasty," he murmured. "I might sneak in just to use it."
"I called dibs last time!" Sirius protested.
Severus chuckled in spite of himself. "It is rather warm."
After James made himself comfortable, he turned to face Severus and Sirius. "Do you want to talk about your nightmare?"
"I had a dream about the Bogart," Severus explained, and heard Sirius take a deep breath.
James nodded, then put a hand around Severus. "Does it help...knowing that your dad won't be back?"
Severus shrugged. "I expect so. I was all right...well, I wasn't having nightmares about him...until last week," Severus explained, hearing the bitterness in his voice.
He felt so weak. This was the second time in barely a week since his nightmares had woken Sirius up. Now James.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
Sirius snorted, giving him another hug. "Don't be. It's not your fault that he hurt you, Sev."
No, but had that ever mattered? Severus felt the tears come, unbidden, and then Sirius holding him even tighter. He let his head slump against his friend's shoulders. After a moment, Sirius began to card his hair.
He felt James shift, just a bit. "Severus? Would you like me to rub your back? It's what my mum and dad do whenever I have a bad dream. It really helps."
Severus gave a small nod. "Okay," he whispered.
James took hold of him, moving him out of Sirius' grasp, but even then, Sirius remained close. Severus was glad.
James placed his hands on the top of his shoulders, moving back and forth in an almost rhythmic fashion. His hands were stronger than Severus would have thought, but they didn't hurt. It wasn't the same as his mum's hands, exactly, but it was soothing. Relaxing. He felt the pain that he hadn't even been aware of drain away. After several moments, Severus thought he might fall asleep any minute.
"Thank you," he managed, swallowing, once he knew there was no point in fighting sleep. "You can stop now, I expect I'll be out any minute."
James chuckled, withdrew his hands, and let Severus collapse onto the pillows. Seconds later, James' frame was next to his.
"You'll stay with me?" he asked in a whisper.
"Don't worry, you're stuck with us," Sirius reassured him.
Severus let out a chuckle as James pulled the blankets over them before wrapping Severus in a fierce hug.
"We're not even going to let you move, Sev," James added, teasingly. "Sirius, you got him?"
A second pair of arms joined James'. "He's not going to move."
"I can hardly breathe," Severus half grumbled.
Sirius snorted. "You can talk, can't you?"
"Barely."
He felt a pair of fingers lightly jab at his sides. Fortunately, Severus wasn't ticklish there.
"Aww," Sirius lamented. After a moment, he tightened his hold on Severus, resulting in nearly all of the remaining air being knocked out of his lungs.
"Can't...breathe," he managed.
Sirius released his grip so it resembled a hug rather than an air-denying hold.
"Sirius, let him breathe properly," James chided.
"I can breathe all right. For now," Severus amended.
He didn't hear James' response, though, as sleep overtook him.
Severus woke still sandwiched between James and Sirius. While he could-despite his protests several hours earlier-breathe easily enough, he was effectively pinned to his bed. It was a good thing, really, that he was in no immediate need of using the loo.
Nor did he particularly want to move. He was extremely comfortable, with most of his body protected against any chill in the air by his two roommates and the four blankets on his bed, which included the extra potent one from his mum. Severus stretched, just a little, and smiled.
James opened his eyes first, then grinned. "Morning, Sev. Sleep all right?"
He nodded. "Thank you. I didn't mean to wake you up."
James rolled his eyes, turning on his side. "I reckon you're a really sound sleeper most nights. We've all had nightmares since the start of term. Well, the first one, I mean."
Severus felt his eyebrows raise of their own accord. "I didn't know that."
"Yeah. I get them once a month or so. Sirius...maybe twice a month? Peter's had a couple. And Remus gets them the most, but he won't talk about them. Whatever it is..." James trailed off. He sighed. "You're hardly the only one, Sev."
"What do you have bad dreams about?" Severus asked, before he could stop himself.
He bit down on his tongue, as though he could take the question back.
Thankfully, James didn't look offended.
"Disappointing my parents, mostly. Especially my dad." James stared at Severus. "I'm the only kid they were able to have. And if I don't do as well as they want...it's not like there's anyone else. Not that they say as much. But, I still..."
James took a deep breath. Severus put a hand on his shoulders.
"They're proud that you're in Gryffindor."
"Yeah. The hat didn't need much convincing on my end," James said, with a grin.
"Can't say the same for me," Severus recalled, "but I'm glad to be here."
"Me too."
"You too what?" Sirius mumbled, stretching and removing his hands from around Severus' frame.
"We're happy Severus is in Gryffindor," James explained.
"That's even a question?" Sirius pulled Severus into a tight hug that nearly knocked the breath out of him.
"I really can't breathe, now!" Severus protested, squirming.
Sirius loosened his grip. Slightly.
"Let Severus fill his lungs, Sirius," James grumbled, reaching over and gently swatting him on the arm.
"Yes, please do," Severus added, breaking loose from the grip. "Between you and James, it's a wonder my lungs aren't permanently damaged."
He said this dryly, and they snickered.
"A good hug is one that takes at least some of the breath out of you," Sirius pointed out.
"So says the near snake," James retorted, earning him another swat-this time on the top of his head. "Hugs aren't meant to be near occasions of death, Sirius."
"Good to know," Severus quipped, smiling.
Remus chose that moment to push the curtains aside from his own bed. Rising, he asked, "What's all the ruckus about?"
Severus spoke before the others could. "I had a nightmare about my boggart, and these two nearly murdered me with hugs."
Remus chuckled. "Awful way to go-death by hugs. Are you all right, now?"
Severus nodded. "Yes. As long as I don't have to face the boggart again before finals, I believe so."
Notes:
Congratulations on surviving the fluff! :) I did think it was necessary to show the developing bonds and Severus' past trauma. And no, this isn't going to be a Severus/James or Severus/Sirius or any other slash combination fic. Severus has been added to the Marauder brotherhood, but not in any romantic sense. Just so we're clear.
Up next: A trip to the hospital wing.
Have anything to say about this chapter? Leave a comment below!
Chapter 29
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
To everyone's annoyance, a bout of colds swept through the castle a little over one week before Severus' birthday. The cold symptoms were not as bad as a flu, but they were serious enough to make it unpleasant for those infected.
Severus was one of those unfortunate students, being among the first to receive it. According to Madam Pomfrey, he had been too late in receiving the Pepperup potion for it to prevent the cold.
While Severus certainly had felt worse, he hardly wanted to risk his roommates becoming ill-had they not already been exposed. So, he found himself in a private bed in the hospital wing, wrapped under several blankets (including his mum's) to keep the ever-present chill somewhat at bay.
Later, Severus realized, he could have asked Madam Pomfrey to take a look at his back. Except, there were at least two dozen other students to look after, and his symptoms (headache, mild fever, and sore throat) required less attention than some of the others.
Severus spent most of his time asleep, occasionally roused to be fed, watered, made to use a bed pan (thank Merlin there were curtains separating the beds...), and made to take the occasional potion.
Three days later, Severus was well enough to be dismissed, but he noticed that his blanket was missing.
"Madam Pomfrey," he began, "I came in with a blanket..."
"Oh, yes, that beautiful patchwork one," Madam Pomfrey answered, with a fond smile. "Not to worry, dear. It's been cleaned by the elves, and will be waiting for you on your bed."
Severus nodded and thanked her. He hoped that cleaning charms wouldn't remove any of the softness or the warmth, but he supposed that the house elves had laundered it before...
"You're still alive!" James greeted, nearly knocking him over with a hug.
"Steady now!" Sirius laughed, joining James at Severus' back. "He's only just been released."
Severus managed a smile once they let him go. He did feel a bit unsteady, though. "I'd say that I can handle a hug, but I've experienced yours enough to ask you to use some caution."
Sirius snickered. "Fair enough."
Peter offered his own hug (which didn't threaten to knock Severus over) after the two had let go, and grinned.
"How are you feeling?" Sirius asked.
Severus took a seat on his bed, pausing to inspect the blanket. It felt as soft and warm as ever.
"Still a bit tired," he admitted, "but well enough."
The three joined him on the bed, Peter the last of them, and Sirius gently slung an arm around Severus' shoulders. "We tried to visit, you know, but Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let us."
"Something about keeping the sick confined so as to keep it from becoming an epidemic," James explained. "We thought it was too late for us, because Remus got sick the day after you, but the rest of us were spared."
"For now," Sirius reminded him. "Most of the sick are back in class, but you know how the cold season is."
Severus groaned. He wouldn't fancy a recurrence of this cold. "You'd think we'd be able to cure it with magic," Severus mused.
Peter shrugged. "Maybe there will be a potion in another fifty years."
Sirius guffawed. "We'll be grandparents by them."
Severus opened his mouth to protest, but realized that his own grandparents were probably around that age. Instead, he nodded.
"Probably. Or our grandchildren will say it will be another fifty years." Severus tried to hide a yawn, but without any luck.
"Back to bed, then," James ordered, pulling the covers back.
Severus rolled his eyes, but complied. "I haven't done much except sleep in the last three days."
"Then, another one won't hurt," Peter remarked, with a grin. "Good thing it's Friday, eh?"
Severus nodded, then watched as James and Sirius made themselves comfortable on either side of him, and Peter at the end of James.
"You're staying?" he asked, trying to keep the hope out of his voice.
"Of course," Sirius said, easily. "We need to pester you with questions about the sick wing until you fall asleep."
"Like what?"
"Is it really a dungeon?" Peter half asked, half whispered.
"No, it's just a large room with lots of beds," Severus answered, rolling his eyes. "And there are curtains between the beds for privacy."
"Did you get a bed near Remus? Is he all right?" James asked. "He looked really awful the day before leaving for the hospital wing."
"I didn't see him," Severus admitted, "or hear him. I spent most of the time asleep, when I wasn't being forced to drink broth or foul-tasting potions."
"Are there any that aren't foul-tasting?" James asked, with a laugh. "I hope she gave you water, afterwards."
"Yes. And more broth," Severus added. "Madam Pomfrey isn't like a mum, you know, but she wasn't too bad."
"Reckon she must know her cures, as she's the sole Healer at the school," Sirius murmured.
Severus nodded, feeling his eyes grow heavy. He heard Sirius ask him something else, but he couldn't make it out before sleep took over.
Remus returned the following day, which happened to be a Saturday, and looked as exhausted as he had the previous term when his parents kept insisting he return home.
They gathered around his bed, trying to be helpful without crowding him.
"Why'd she let you go so soon?" James demanded. "You still look awful."
"He means you look sickly," Sirius added, giving James a small shove, "not ugly."
"Did I say ugly?" James protested, rubbing his shoulder.
"You did say he looked awful," Severus observed, earning himself a pillow thrown at his head.
Remus chuckled a bit and pulled the covers close. On top was Severus' blanket-he'd insisted.
"I might look awful, but I don't have a fever, and there are more ill students than before," he explained.
Severus had to see the logic in this. Lily's mum might have kept her and Petunia home if there was the slightest rumor of a cold, but she only had two people to care for.
"We'll let you sleep," Sirius promised, placing a hand on top of Remus' head, and tucking some stray strands out of the way.
Remus managed a small smile. "Thanks."
Severus noticed Sirius and James exchange a brief look before closing the curtains of Remus' bed, but James just shrugged.
"Who's up for a game of Gobstones?"
Notes:
Next up-Severus turns 12! Also, Remus' frequent visits home are drawing attention.
As always, helpful feedback would be much appreciated!
Chapter 30
Notes:
Severus turns 12!
Warning: this is a LONG chapter because I wanted to fit everything into one day.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus' birthday began a few hours before he would have preferred. James and Sirius had taken it on themselves to jostle him awake at an ungodly hour (at least, for a Saturday) at six in the morning.
5:57, to be exact.
"What's going on? Who died?" Severus muttered, pulling the covers back over his body.
"It's your birthday!" James explained, animatedly, his wand lit in Severus' face.
"We thought you wanted to get a head start with celebrating," Sirius added, his tone only slightly less jocular than his coconspirator's.
Severus glanced at the clock, then groaned. "Merlin's left foot, you lot! It's not even six in the morning!"
"You're welcome," James answered, with a laugh.
Severus glared at them. "Don't most kids get to sleep in on their birthdays?"
James and Sirius exchanged looks.
"Well..."
"Sort of..."
Severus felt awake enough to feel slightly remorseful. After all, he supposed they'd meant well, waking him up early.
You only had one birthday a year, and all that.
"Sorry. It's just, I'd rather wait until after the sun is up. It being a Saturday and all," Severus explained.
They nodded. "We'll know for next year, Sev," Sirius promised.
"How'd you celebrate them at home?" James asked, his voice a bit more somber. He climbed into the bed now, and Severus raised the covers enough for him to get underneath.
Sirius followed suit.
Even wearing their dressing gowns, mornings in January were bitter cold. Also, he supposed that the charmed blanket made his bed rather popular.
"Not really," Severus answered, after a moment. "My father drank away most of his earnings. And he forbade Mum to get a job with our kind, even though the apothecary would have allowed her to bring me. We didn't have much in the way of celebrations. Maybe a cake, if my father was feeling generous enough to give her money for the ingredients. Or a new shirt or pair of socks or something," Severus added.
He preferred it when there was cake, even though it meant that his father would have joined in on the party. Usually bringing a pint or two of drink, claiming it was for he and Eileen to celebrate, but it often resulted in him getting nasty and Severus hiding in his room before the belt could come out.
Severus shivered at the memories, and felt his friends wrap their arms around him.
"He's gone, now, Sev," Sirius reminded him. "Your birthdays are going to be loads happier, now."
"Yeah, you should see all the presents by your bed," James put in. "There's one that's got to be a cake, because it smells amazing."
Severus forced a laugh. "They'll still be here in a couple of hours, won't they?"
"Well, the cake might not be," Sirius warned, "if James has his way."
"Hey!" James protested, reaching across Severus to tousle Sirius' hair. "I'd never do that to Severus."
"I believe you," Severus assured him, which resulted in a firmer hug. "So, we're agreed? I can sleep a bit longer?"
Sirius yawned. "I suppose, if you insist on it."
Severus chuckled, then closed his eyes. If there was one positive note to being woken up this early, it was that his friends cared enough to want him to enjoy the day.
Also, the added warmth from their hugs was hardly the worst thing in the world...
After what seemed to be a good few hours later, Severus' eyes opened, and he felt far more ready to rise from the bed. Sirius and James were awake. Sirius was still next to him, although James had moved to the other side of the bed, and they were talking in whispers when Severus rose and stretched.
"Good morning, sleepyhead," James greeted with a grin.
Severus rolled his eyes. "Imagine not wanting to rise when it's still dark out."
"Good thing you weren't here for Christmas Day. James dragged me out of bed to open presents even earlier." Sirius wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "See, James, I told you he'd be cranky if we woke him this early. You owe me a galleon."
James shrugged, and his face reddened a bit. "We'll know for next year, I expect. Mind you, Severus, the following year your birthday will be on a Monday, and you won't be able to sleep the day away."
"There's rather a difference between rising with the birds and sleeping the day away," he pointed out. Glancing at the other two beds in their room, he added, "Anyway, Peter and Remus are still sleeping."
"Ah, but it's not their birthday today," Sirius reminded him. "They don't have to be up with the birds."
Severus snorted, then pulled his mum's blanket back over him. It was still cold out, and he was quite sure that his winter sleeping shift was losing its warmth since he'd been given it two years ago. It was also rather short on him, nearly at the knees...
"Now, are you ready for presents?" James asked, practically bouncing on his heels.
Severus tried to act nonchalant, but as with Christmas, he'd approached this day expecting next to nothing. "All right, then." A thought occurred to him. "I thought the owl post came at breakfast?"
"Not on birthdays," Remus answered, emerging from his bed. "Or Christmas. Everything's delivered directly to the area in front of your bed on those days. Happy birthday, Severus," he added, grinning.
"Thanks, Remus," Severus replied, smiling. "How'd you know about that?"
"My dad told me...but it's also in 'Hogwarts, a History,'" Remus added. "Chapter eleven, I think."
Severus nodded to himself. He'd started the book awhile back, but with schoolwork and everything that came with Hogwarts, it had been a few weeks since he'd picked it up.
Now, he glanced at the pile of presents before him, feeling almost as apprehensive as he had on Christmas morning.
He reminded himself that this was foolish. His friends liked him enough to get him something to celebrate turning twelve. It was what friends did, after all.
Before he could select one of the parcels, though, Peter emerged from his bed.
"Happy birthday, Severus!" he greeted, coming over and sitting besides the others. "Did you start opening your gifts?"
"I was just about to," Severus answered, taking a deep breath.
Wishing he wasn't making such an idiot out of himself.
Remus, who had taken a seat next to him, must have sensed that something was wrong. He gave Severus a small smile, and his hand a squeeze.
That seemed to help, because he could focus on the pile in front of him, on the seemingly monumental task of choosing a gift and just opening it. Severus could almost hear his father's voice in his head, but he immediately blocked it out.
He wouldn't choose not the largest one-he'd save that for last.
He took hold of the smallest parcel and began to unwrap it, wincing as the paper began to tear. It was all right-they didn't need to reuse the paper. It would just be thrown out with the rubbish...
Inside were a pair of warm gloves, a hat, and a scarf-all in Gryffindor colors. As he turned them over in his hands, he knew his mum had knitted them. And her work was perfect, without the slightest strand of yarn out of place. He tried on the gloves, and they felt as soft and warm as her blanket against his skin.
"Oh, they're brilliant," Severus murmured. Glancing up at his friends, he added, "From my mum."
"She's got a knack for knitting, based on your blanket," Sirius said, with admiration.
The others murmured their appreciation, and Severus felt grateful. Clothes, especially hand-knit ones, might not seem like a big deal for his friends, but Severus was grateful that his mum had found the time to make him anything.
The next gift was also from his mum-a few more sleeping shifts, and a dressing gown. Severus let out a sigh of relief. He wouldn't have to drag the blanket around to stay warm around the Gryffindor tower.
"Gryffindor colors, too," Remus added. "Your mum's really taken to your sorting."
Severus chuckled. "I suppose she has."
The next gift, also from his mum, were the first three volumes in a popular series called Patricia the Perky Potioneer. A note in his mum's perfect handwriting said that they had been her favorite when she was his age, and while she knew he preferred non-fiction, she hoped he would enjoy them.
He was glad that she'd included something of a recreational nature. Grateful as Severus was for the clothes, his friends were watching as he opened the gifts, and he didn't want them to think that they were impoverished.
They weren't, after all.
Finally, there was the parcel that James was certain was cake. It was certainly large enough. Inside were two tins, and included a note that the cake and treats contained inside would refill itself four times, and remain fresh for up to two weeks. Severus read that out loud before opening the tin to reveal a cake easily large enough for everyone (including Lily) to have a big slice.
"What does that mean, it will refill itself?" Sirius asked, eying the cake.
Severus, fortunately, knew the answer to this. "You know how the food at the Great Hall refills itself at our meals?" At Sirius' nod, Severus continued, "Well, you can't just create more food out of nothing. The elves make it, only if they put out everything that they make, it wouldn't fit. And they can't be sure that everything would be eaten in one mealtime, anyway. So, they sort of stagger it, with spells that make the foods seem to appear out of nowhere when they're running low. It's a bit like Apparition, only with food and other items that receive the charm."
"Wicked," Sirius grinned. "So the rest of the cake is at your mum's house, waiting for us to finish with this?"
"Precisely," Severus answered, with a smile. "She likely only had that tin on hand, but knew we'd want to eat more than that."
He opened the second tin, about half the size of the cake one, and saw a mouthwatering assortment of treats and biscuits. Severus took one and passed the tin around, beginning with James, who was on his left.
Severus was about to turn his attention to the remaining four gifts in front of him when the door opened. They all glanced at the figure who entered. It was Lily, clad in her nightgown and dressing gown. She carried a rather large parcel, half tucked under her arms.
"Er, hello there," she greeted. "My owl kept trying to take this from me, but I wanted to give it to you myself. Happy birthday, Severus!"
He rose from their circle, feeling his face heating a bit. "Thanks, Lily. You didn't have to get me anything."
"Don't be silly, it's your birthday," she retorted, with a grin. "Are you opening your others, then?"
"We made him start," Remus spoke up. "We would have waited had we known you were coming."
Lily laughed. "I hadn't-well, I wasn't planning on barging in until my owl wouldn't stop pestering me. Hogwarts enchantment, I expect."
Severus nodded. "Have a seat. And some treats, if you like," he added.
"All right."
James moved over so Lily could sit next to Severus, and she sat cross-legged, her nightgown and dressing gown taking up considerably more space than the boys' night clothes. Severus thought she looked rather like one of those princesses on the cover of her fairy story books. Even her long hair, while not as neat as usual, looked rather pretty in the way it must look whenever she rose from sleep. Severus felt almost shy as he looked at his childhood best friend, and she squeezed his hand.
"Sev's opened up his mum's gifts, and now he has ours," Sirius explained from the other side of Severus. "She got him a cake, treats, some books, and a bunch of clothes."
"That's really great," Lily answered, seeing the smile on Severus' face.
"Yeah, and new clothes, at that," he added.
He didn't include that they weren't made from his mum's old clothes-Lily understood, and some things felt too embarrassing to share.
Lily squeezed his hand again.
Severus picked up the parcel nearest to him, but before he could begin to open it, Remus cleared his throat.
"That's from me. We all talked beforehand, about what to get you. Y'know, make sure we weren't going to buy the same thing, and run ideas by each other," Remus explained.
"It was rather difficult to figure out what to get for you," Peter put in, with a smile.
"I didn't really expect anything," Severus answered, honestly. "Before, I was lucky if I got a piece of cake."
Sirius put an arm around his shoulders. "All the more reason to get you something you'd really like."
Out of the corner of his eye, Severus saw Lily nodding.
"I'm sure I'll like whatever you got me," he said, a bit huskily. He swallowed, then focused his attention on Remus' gift.
It turned out to be an assortment of muggle snacks and sweets. Including Cadbury chocolates, which he'd had once at Lily's. Chocolate frogs were great, but nothing compared to Cadbury chocolate.
"I figured that you might like a change," Remus explained. "You live in Hogsmeade, now, and might get tired of Honeydukes."
"Perish the thought!" James exclaimed, putting a hand over his heart in mock horror.
Lily sniggered, but Severus privately thought that Remus might have a point.
"Thanks. I've never heard of most of these," he admitted, glancing at the very large box. "We'll share them, all right? I can't eat all of these on my own."
Well, he might manage the chocolates.
"If you insist," Sirius answered, giving Severus another squeeze.
Peter gently pushed a smaller box towards Severus.
"Yours?" Severus asked, and Peter nodded, a bit shyly.
"It's also got a sort of muggle element," he added.
Severus raised his eyebrows a little, then saw the others grinning. One disadvantage to his friends consulting with each other was that it rather felt like they were in on a secret. Even if they meant well, Severus felt a bit left out.
The gift turned out to be marbles, but they were charmed. They changed colors, for one thing, and even made noises as they moved. Severus had only played marbles with Lily a couple of times, but he grinned. This was loads better.
"Thanks, Peter!" he said, sincerely.
"I only know a bit about them," Peter admitted, "but they looked very colorful and fun."
"I can give you some pointers. All of you," Lily offered, and Severus nodded.
Of the two, she certainly knew more.
Sirius' gift turned out to be a beautifully made pair of protective gloves. He must have noticed that Severus' had gotten worn, and how much more time he'd spent cleaning his hands after Potions than the others.
"It's not very fun, I know," Sirius explained, chancing a glance at Severus. "But I reckoned you might like them all the same."
"They're great," Severus assured him, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "Really, Sirius. Thank you."
James' gift was a book-it detailed the lives and discoveries of famous Potions masters, and included beautiful (and rather dark) illustrations. Severus was eager to start reading it.
"Lily, that leaves you," Remus said, taking a chocolate biscuit.
She laughed, a bit breathlessly. "I hope mine isn't a disappointment."
"It won't be," Severus assured her. "Not unless it's frog spawn soap or a biting teacup."
"Note to James," Sirius intervened, "don't ever buy those for Severus."
James reached over and lightly punched him on the shoulders.
Severus took care in opening the parcel. It was a set of books.
"They're muggle books, but set in a magical world," Lily explained. "I purchased the Narnia series, and also the Lord of the Rings ones. So, at the rate you read, you should have them finished in a couple of weeks," she added, teasingly.
Severus had read some of the muggle fairytales before, and enjoyed them. If these were anything like those books, they were bound to be good.
"They look great, Lily. Thank you," he told her.
If they were in private, he likely would have hugged her, but he felt uncomfortable doing so in front of the others. Especially with them in their nighttime attire.
Lily must have felt the same way. "Well, I expect Dorcas will be up now. See you at breakfast?"
"Sure," Severus agreed.
"Come back later, when we play some games and have cake," James offered. "We still need to have Severus' birthday party."
Severus looked at James, a bit surprised.
"You didn't think we'd end the festivities there, did you?" Sirius put in. "Besides, we still have cake to eat!"
"How about after dinner?" Severus asked. "I can't stomach eating cake this early!"
James made a little bow. "Whatever the birthday boy commands."
Severus snorted, but secretly, he rather liked the sound of it.
The rest of the day went rather quickly. After breakfast, the four of them set upon their homework, which was rather more than usual, but still finished by lunch. Part of the delay was Remus had an essay to write, having caught the cold the day after it was assigned. Then, they had to help Peter with the extra Transfiguration homework McGonagall had assigned, claiming that he needed the extra practice. But all that was done before lunch, and they each had second (or third) helpings.
They spent much of the afternoon playing games, although after the third round of Exploding Snap, Sirius nearly burned his eyebrows off. It was a good thing he knew how to regrow his hair. Not that it was needed, this time.
Severus would have liked to read some of the books he'd been given. Especially the muggle ones from Lily. Yet he had a sense that his disappearance would go noticed today, especially, so he settled for playing a game of wizards Chess with Remus. His mum had taught him with a muggle board and pieces, since it was one of the few games that could be adaptable for muggles. Tobias Snape rarely complained when they played it, either, because of this. Severus had become quite good over the years, even beating his mum on occasion.
Remus was better, though. He had Severus in Checkmate within minutes for their first game, and it only took a bit longer after their second.
"Blimey, Remus, how'd you get to be so good?" James asked, as they set up the pieces for a third round.
"Loads of practice," he answered, simply.
James shook his head. "Yeah, but my dad's really good, and I don't think I ever saw him beat someone that quickly. No offense, Sev," he added, quickly.
Severus looked up with a smile. "None taken. Appears that Remus is some sort of a genius."
His friend shrugged. "I was bedridden quite a bit as a child. Got bored, even though they tried to occupy me with stories and books. So, my mum taught me to knit, and my dad taught me Chess. I took to Chess a bit better than knitting."
"Evidently," Sirius put in, looking up from his game of Gobstones with Peter.
"Do you play, Sirius?" Severus asked.
"I know how to," he answered, looking a bit sour. "My parents made Reg and I learn at a young age. They thought it was one of those games all good, pure-blood boys should excel at. If we made what either considered a mistake, Mum would burn our hands."
Severus flinched, and Sirius nodded.
"Can't say I have fond memories of playing, although I reckon I could give Remus a run for his money." Then, he grinned. "What do you say? Five galleons for the winner?"
Remus chuckled. "I haven't got five galleons."
"Then you can take my next detention if I win, and you get five galleons if you win. Sound fair?" Sirius asked.
Remus rolled his eyes, and Severus caught a hint of fear on his face. "Yours end up on weekends, though, and that's often when I have to go home."
Sirius raised his hands. "All right. Bragging rights for me, five galleons for you."
"That doesn't strike me as particularly fair..."
"Take it, Rem. You've seen Sirius when he gets full marks and I don't. Believe me, it's worth more than five galleons if you can stop him!" James urged.
Sirius gave him a swat on the head.
"Oh, all right. After this game, if you don't mind?" Remus asked, turning to Severus.
"I don't think I can handle a fourth beating," he answered, honestly.
"Nor can we!" put in his king.
Remus put Severus in checkmate in less than ten moves, and then moved on to play against Sirius. The other three took seats that were close enough to watch, but far enough that there could be no argument of providing help. In fact, Severus noticed, the two wore expressions more similar to taking a particularly difficult test rather than playing a game. Even if there was a wager of money involved.
"I feel as though I'm watching a muggle film," Severus commented, after a few moments. "A particularly intense muggle film."
"Wizard Chess is bloody intense if you grew up in my family," Sirius remarked, taking one of Remus' bishops.
"It is just a game," Remus said, mildly. "Between friends, that is."
"Sure it is," Sirius agreed, with a grin, "only I meant it when I said I get bragging rights for winning, and you'll get five galleons if you win. Which you won't."
The game stretched on for at least half an hour, and Severus was kept guessing who would win. Finally, Remus secured his win upon gaining Sirius' queen, leaving him with only two pawns and his king. Remus, on the other hand, had a queen, both knights, his king, and a bishop. Within another few moves, he'd placed Sirius in checkmate.
"Good game," Sirius said, standing up and shaking Remus' hand.
Remus, Severus noted, looked a bit startled at Sirius' gesture.
"I'll get you the money this evening at Severus' party, unless you'd prefer I grab it now," he offered.
Remus laughed. "I can wait. Tonight, then, after dinner?" he asked. "Does that sound all right, Sev?"
Severus nodded. "Just us? Or, can Lily come as well?"
"It's your birthday. You can have whoever you like," Peter put in, grinning.
So, it was settled. Severus made sure not to get second helpings at dinner, lest he ruin his appetite for cake. Knowing his mum, it would be delicious. The others were clearly thinking along the same lines, because while they filled their plates to the brim, no one went back for seconds.
They all ate rather quickly, too.
After spending a half an hour or so playing Exploding Snap in the common room, Severus found Lily. Rather surprisingly, she was seated in one of the far corners of the room, away from a good deal of the action, immersed in their first year Transfiguration book. Severus gently tapped her on the shoulder, but she jumped anyway.
"Sorry!" they both said at once, then laughed.
"We're about to tuck into the cake my mum sent," Severus explained. "Want to join us?"
Lily smiled broadly, then closed her book. "You know I'd never say no to cake."
"Never?" Severus asked, teasingly, as they walked towards the group. "Not even if it was made out of earwax and vomit flavored Every Flavored beans?"
"That's not a cake, that's just a pile of disgusting beans."
"What if Mrs. Norris had begun eating it?"
"I'd cut away that part," Lily retorted.
"Cut away what part?" James asked.
"I told Sev I never say no to cake," Lily explained. "So he's going through all sorts of scenarios to make me take that back."
"Oh, that sounds fun!" Peter grinned. "What if it was sitting in a cauldron that hadn't been cleaned?"
Lily paused. "I'd eat the top part."
"I don't know," Sirius put in, mock darkly. "Some of those ingredients can make their way through nearly anything."
"Depends on the type of potion, I expect," Lily amended. "If it could be consumed, I'd take a bite of the bake before deciding."
"It's official, then. You really like cake," Remus agreed, with a smile.
"Told you!"
A few minutes later, Severus retrieved the tin of cake and accompanying candles. James placed thirteen in--witches and wizards followed the muggle tradition of adding an extra for luck--and they sang the universally known "Happy birthday!" song.
Severus tried not to grin too hard as he blew them out. He received a small round of applause when he managed them all in one go, as well as murmurs that his wish would certainly come true.
He cut large pieces for everyone, effectively emptying the tin for the first time, and they all took large first bites before murmuring their appreciation of his mum's cooking.
Her cake was even better than he remembered.
Later, curled up in bed, he couldn't recall having had a better celebration.
He just hoped that his wish would come true. It would be nice to meet his grandparents, and perhaps aunt and uncle. Maybe, he thought as he drifted off, he might even have cousins at this point.
Notes:
Next up:
Things really aren't looking good for Remus' "furry little problem."
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome.
I posted the following on FFN because I've had some issues there. Although it does not apply, for the most part, on AO3, I figured I might as well give the same note...
For anyone who wonders what a "constructive review" means, it's feedback that shows appreciation of parts of the story, while giving some ideas for making the rest more enjoyable. That being said, inferring your own personal viewpoints as a means of dictating how I tell the story, such as "I want there to be more plot" or "I don't like that you haven't put Sirius and Remus together as a couple" or "I don't like how you wrote X character" will be treated as spam. If you want a story told a certain way, with certain pairings or a certain timeline for events, YOU write it.
Finally, as always, for the many loyal and thoughtful readers who have left thoughtful feedback, THANK YOU!
Chapter 31
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Remus was out again, this time called home for an aunt's second marriage.
"Her first husband died from Dragon Pox," he'd explained, after they'd gone rather silent at the "second" part. "About three years ago."
Severus was no longer concerned about being bullied, or even feeling like a third wheel, during his friend's monthly disappearances. In fact, he'd begun to take it for granted that Remus would be summoned home for a few days, and be exhausted for a full day after returning. The one time he hadn't been asked to come home had been in early January, and that had been when he and Severus had been ill.
Now early March, Remus had returned home just days after Severus' birthday, and he would be doing so once more. Remus took these trips in stride, not complaining about having to miss class, or spend an increasing number of evenings getting caught up. At the beginning of the year, he'd been able to do so before leaving, but their work load had increased since they'd returned from the Christmas holidays.
After the customary hugs goodbye the night before, Sirius slipped a tiny piece of parchment into Severus' hand. He gave him a slight shake of the head at Severus' questioning look, and Severus slipped it into his pocket, deciding to read it in bed that night.
"Severus,
James and I need to talk to you. Meet us in the library at 7 tomorrow morning.
Sirius"
Severus raised his eyebrows for real. Whatever it was, they didn't want Peter or Remus to know.
Peter was still asleep when he rose at half past 6 the next day, and he could hear the shuffling from their beds that Sirius and James were up. Why not just tell him whatever it was here? Or in the bathroom, for Merlin's sake?
It was a good thing he didn't mistrust them.
Severus was ready for class before the others, having showered the previous evening. He headed into the library and took a seat at a small row of tables near the entrance. With the pretext of having something to do, he removed his Herbology textbook from his bag.
Moments later, James and Sirius showed up.
"Not here," James murmured. "In the corner."
"Good morning to you, too," Severus muttered, rising.
"Sorry."
Once James led the two of them to his preferred corner, he removed a stack of parchment from his bag. "These dates," he began, showing one piece of parchment to Sirius and Severus, "are the ones that Remus has been away since October."
Severus glanced at them, then up at James. "How did you remember all that?"
James shrugged. "I checked with Sirius. He's certain."
Severus shook away a feeling of hurt at having not been consulted. James must have noticed, because he put his hand on his shoulder. "It's all right if Sirius and I have private conversations, Sev. But if we suddenly asked you to join us, they might have suspected."
"They?"
"Peter and Remus," Sirius explained. "And we wanted to wait until we were certain."
"Certain?" Severus echoed.
James removed the first piece of parchment to reveal a copy of the moon chart. He'd circled each full moon date.
"Notice anything?"
Severus did. His eyes widened. "He's always gone during the full moon."
"And back after it's waned. He always leaves the day before the full moon." James' voice sounded darker than Severus ever remembered.
Severus chewed on the inside of his mouth. October, November, December, and now February. Four months, three consecutive ones. In fact...
He peered at the moon charts again. Severus remembered the date in September that Remus had left to care for his mum, because he'd considered it the rather official start to his friendship with Sirius and James.
"You're missing September," he murmured, not quite looking up, "but Remus was out for a few days. I remember the dates, and he left the morning before the full moon."
Sirius swore under his breath. "As you didn't see him in the hospital wing last month, and he was tired as hell when he returned from 'being ill'"-he used air quotes for those last two words-"I'd bet almost anything that he wasn't really ill. Not the kind of illness that you had, anyway."
"Right." James sounded grim. "That's every month this year that he's been out on the full moon. Including this one. You know what that means."
"He's a werewolf," Severus barely whispered. After a moment, he added, "I take it we're not going to tell Peter."
"Not yet," James agreed.
"We wanted to see how you'd handle it, first," Sirius supplied.
Severus snorted. "I'm still trying to process that one of my closest friends is...well..."
He couldn't quite lump Remus with the same group of monsters he'd grown up hearing tales about. Besides, Remus clearly took pains to be away from school during that time of the month, and the professors and headmaster must be fully aware, to let him miss so many classes. To go out of their way to give him the assignments ahead of time, and now, to give him extra time to turn everything in. No one would be given that leniency for trips home to see family members. Perhaps, if his mum or dad had been deadly ill, but then, it would have made more sense to keep him out of school until the parent passed.
"He's not a monster!" James nearly shouted, then lowered his voice. "Lycanthropy is an illness, Severus. I'm sure that Remus couldn't help having been bit. And I wouldn't go around asking him about it, either!"
"I wasn't planning on it," Severus snapped back, anger blocking his hurt. "And I never said that he was a monster!"
Sirius placed a hand on both of their shoulders. "Whoa. Easy, easy. We're all on the same side."
Severus nodded at him, relief flooding through him, then turned his attention to James. "I don't think he's a monster."
He didn't. Perhaps it had been growing up studying Potions and learning all he could about self-defense, but Severus had nearly consumed (as his mum put it) numerous books about dark creatures and ways the magical world could turn against you. Werewolves were dangerous, everyone knew that, but almost no one had any say in becoming a werewolf. If you were bit by one, you became one.
If you were lucky.
James looked remorseful. "'Course you don't. I'm sorry, Sev."
"It's all right," he answered, quickly.
"We know Remus. Of course, he's not a monster. Anyway, from what I've read, it sounds like lycanthropy is rather more of an illness than anything else."
Severus nodded. It was easier to think of what Remus has as an illness. There were certainly common factors.
Only, of course, being in the wrong place at the wrong time put you at grave risk.
Then again, Remus made sure he was clear out of the way on the full moon.
Severus wondered where he went to, in order not to be a danger to others. For one thing, the school would never allow it, and for another, Severus couldn't imagine his mild-mannered friend causing any type of harm to any other human. He even flinched a bit when they had to disembowel flobberworms.
Probably tied up with enchanted ropes. He'd be stunned by one of the members of the staff, then bound until the full moon waned. As for where he resided during this time...well, Hogwarts was quite large. Perhaps, if Remus awoke, there were silencing charms around the area. Or charms that were used to repel muggles from magical areas, only modified for witches and wizards. He'd read about them. Get too close, and you'd suddenly remember something you had to do, something you forgot, and the sheer panic that would ensure would have you running in the opposite direction.
"He won't be back for at least two more days," Severus suggested. "I say we tell Peter what we found, and then Remus."
James frowned. "As soon as he returns? When he's practically dead on his feet?"
Severus had to admit his friend had a very good point. "Right. We'll wait until he's back to his usual self."
"Whenever he tell him, I can't imagine it will be an easy conversation," Sirius reminded them. "I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to bolt."
"We just need to make sure that he can't, or not immediately," James said, grimly. "Then, we have to get it through his head that we understand, and we won't abandon him or anything like that."
Sirius nodded. "All we can offer him moral support, and make sure Remus knows that he's still our friend. Anyway, I expect that Madam Pomfrey does the physical healing."
"How do we ensure that he doesn't bolt?" Severus asked, warily.
"Locking the door won't work," James reminded them. They're learned Alohamora last month. "I reckon we ought to disarm him, and block the door."
"Isn't that a bit aggressive? The four of us have wands, and, besides, I don't expect he'd use any hexes on us," Severus murmured.
Sirius and James nodded. James spoke, slowly. "I expect it will have to be enough to block the door. Perhaps, a leg-locker curse if we have to, but I really don't want to use any hexes."
"Agreed."
With this settled, they headed to the Great Hall for breakfast.
Peter, as it turned out, took the news rather better than they had expected. They were in their dormitory, later that day, and having just finished their homework, everyone was in a better mood.
"I reckon Remus didn't want us to know that he's-you know-a dark creature," Peter put in. "Werewolves are hated as much as they're feared."
Severus made a face. "Remus is hardly a dark creature."
Well, technically, his condition put him in that group. But Severus shook his head slightly, refusing to see Remus in that light.
Sirius seemed to be thinking along the same lines. "No, he's not," Sirius agreed, and he put an arm around Severus. "But unless you're not from a wizarding family, in which case there's almost no way you'd have been bitten by one, it's hard not to associate werewolves were ferocious beasts. The ministry doesn't help matters-makes the stereotypes worse, I reckon."
"And I expect that once Remus was bitten, he came to believe that he was now a monster," James added, slowly. "I know I might, had it happened to me."
"How's he at Hogwarts, though?" Peter asked. "Don't you think the headmaster would have known?"
"I've been thinking about that, and I remembered that Andromeda told me, just before September started, that an owl arrived stating that a new tree would be planted on the grounds. She said that that the Whomping Willow was very dangerous and students were not to go near it," Sirius mused. "Seems a bit odd, doesn't it? Some dangerous tree being planted on the school grounds just as a student werewolf is due to start? Which makes me think it's covering something that leads to a place for Remus to transform without hurting anyone."
"Wouldn't it be a real joke on us if it was an entrance to the Shrieking Shack?" Severus asked, with a smile. "Especially after we've been spending so much time trying to find secret passages to Hogsmeade?"
Sirius grinned. "You're saying that, technically speaking, Remus has been going to Hogsmeade every month without us?"
James rolled his eyes. "He's hardly indulging in sugar quills and chocolate frogs while a werewolf."
"Strictly speaking, Sirius is right," Severus retorted, earning him a mock glare from James.
"Even if the entrance to wherever Remus transforms is the Shrieking Shack and is covered by the Whomping Willow, how does he get in as a kid?" Peter wondered.
James shrugged. "Probably one of the teachers uses a stunning spell on it."
"Or Remus," Severus suggested. "It's only a second year charm. Remus is brilliant at charms-he could manage it."
"I expect it's a teacher," Peter said, almost stubbornly. At the inquisitive looks from the others, he explained, "Well, he might accidentally tear up his wand after he transforms. And Remus likely needs to be chained up, or locked in. Better for the teachers to handle all of that before he changes, right?"
That was true. Severus pointed point, "This is further proof that he's safe to be around. Dumbledore wouldn't have let him attend if he wasn't."
They were quiet for a bit. Peter, rather timidly, asked when they should tell Peter that they knew.
"I reckon we ought to give him a good while to mend and get caught up on homework," James reminded them. "Next Saturday afternoon, how does that sound? We'll have him come to our dormitory for a study session, and then have hot chocolate and other goodies available. You know how much he loves hot chocolate. Make sure he doesn't feel threatened or accused, too. Then, we'll tell him we know, and we don't think any less of him for it. And, well," James added, thoughtfully, "if it wants to tell us anything, like how he got bit or what it's like to transform, we can be there for him."
"Aside from his parents, he's probably never been able to talk to anyone about that part," Sirius mused. "I imagine that as soon as anyone found out, they were yelling stuff like 'monster' and 'half-breed.'"
"Half-breed" wasn't on the same level of insult as "Mudblood" and it could even be considered an accurate classification of someone like, well, like Remus. But it was hardly a polite term, either.
They spent a few more minutes planning everything out, and then decided to play Exploding Snap before dinner.
Notes:
Next up: The truth comes out for real. Also, Severus wonders what else can be done to help Remus.
Chapter 32
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The four of them went over the plan once again. At three in the afternoon, Severus would ask Remus to come with him to their dormitory, where they would be having a study session. If asked why, he was to say that James and Sirius were growing tired of the library, and besides, James had managed to obtain some treats and hot chocolate to aid them with studying. If the promise of jam tarts, Remus' favorite dessert, didn't tempt him, a pot of hot chocolate surely would.
Severus hoped that Remus would come with him to the first year dormitory without any complaints-although, he saw no reason why this wouldn't be the case. His best friend would not be suspicious, as neither he nor any of the marauders had given him any reason to be. As for the library, it was true that most of the first year students had not begun to study in earnest for their exams, the Easter holidays still a couple of months away, and the second and third year students had warned them to begin studying then, if they wanted to receive good marks. The fifth and seventh years, on the other hand, were already hard at work, preparing for their O.W.L.'s and N.E.W.T.'s. The library, far from a tranquil place to study, had become ripe with tension.
Severus had woken up that morning of the confrontation-or whatever it was-feeling more nervous than he had been since his first night at Hogwarts. Which was ridiculous, because he knew that Remus was no more of a threat to him than he had been before, and besides, James and Sirius and Peter were all his friends. Yet, he knew that it could go terribly wrong, and what if Remus was angry at them, and made Severus choose sides? The scenario felt as unlikely as it was unappealing, but he couldn't get the images out of his mind.
Sirius and James, on the other hand, seemed to be their usual selves.
"Don't worry, you'll be fine," James assured him, when Remus and Peter were using the bathroom.
"Right," he managed, exchanging his night shirt for his school robes.
All the marauders changes in front of each other, except with their backs out so they couldn't see everything. Severus still changed privately, not fancying the idea of his father's handiwork on display.
He still hadn't summoned the courage to go to Madam Pomfrey about removing them. Partly because he didn't want to see the expression on her face, and partly because he wasn't entirely sure she could do anything more than his mum.
At least the robes covered them, and his hair the back of his neck. If he ever went swimming with his friends, well, he'd wear a shirt over his swim shorts.
"Might I suggest running a comb through your hair, Sirius?" James offered, nodding at the mirror.
"You're one to talk, with that hair," Sirius grinned, grabbing at his brush.
"Precisely. Can't have two of us looking like we just came from fighting a pack of trolls," James explained, rather patiently. "Even Severus takes care of his hair, now, even if it's on the long side."
Severus rolled his eyes, but glanced at himself in the mirror. His hair had grown past his shoulders. He'd have to ask his mum to cut it during the summer holidays.
"James, didn't your father invent a hair potion especially for people with unruly manes?" he asked.
James rolled his eyes. "Severus, as much as I love my dad, I'd rather be bald than use a hair potion designed for girls."
Severus chuckled. "Fair enough."
The morning went by quickly enough, with the five of them studying and doing homework in their dormitory. Then, they went to lunch together, and talked about their study plans for the afternoon.
"I reckon if Severus here lets us go over his notes, we can make a lot of headway on Potions," James suggested, giving him a grin.
Severus agreed. "If you let us use yours for Herbology this evening," he added.
Provided that their talk with Remus went well, of course. But there was no need to say that bit out loud.
James agreed easily enough, and after lunch, he took a detour to the kitchens. Severus followed.
"If Remus is going to stay with us, should we tell him we know as soon as you get to our room?" he asked, keeping his voice low.
James cast a glance over at the other three, who were getting ready to leave.
"That would be best. If he's already in our room, we won't need to grab him," he answered. Before Severus could turn away, James reached out and grabbed his shoulder. "Why don't you come with me? We can take more that way."
"All right," Severus agreed. "I hope they have eclairs."
"When have they not?" James reminded him, arm around his shoulder.
They donned the cloak, and walked slowly to the entrance to the kitchens. It was unlikely that they'd get in trouble if they were caught, but the kitchens did have a password for a reason. Fortunately, James' father had told him it before he'd left for Hogwarts. If James wasn't so agreeable about sharing his bounty and the use of his cloak, Severus would have very jealous of his friend.
Their friends were already in the common room when they returned, and Sirius abruptly pulled on Remus to bring him over to their dormitory. Remus looked rather perturbed, but went without question.
James snorted. "Much as I consider Sirius a brother to me, like the rest of you, he can be a bit of a prat at times," he murmured to Severus.
"We're Gryffindors. Being rash comes with the territory," Severus reminded him.
James snorted again, then put an arm around Severus' shoulder. "That's why I like you, Sev."
"Oh?" Severus asked, walking alongside James.
"You've blunt, wickedly funny, and downright honest," James explained.
"Aren't the first and third the same thing?" Severus asked, feeling his lips twitch.
"Maybe. I'll think of more adjectives to describe you later," James chuckled. "In the meantime..."
Severus nodded. "At least we won't have to pull him away with some ridiculous story."
James didn't disagree, only gave Severus a squeeze before letting go.
They gathered along the floor, propping up against their beds. Severus made sure to be next to Remus, and Sirius planted himself on the other side of him. Peter sat on the other side of Sirius, but he'd likely have to move when James sat down. Currently, he was arranging the treats from his latest raid to the kitchens before he would place it in their direct line of taking.
No one, least of all Remus, seemed surprised by the appearance of snacks so soon after they had finished lunch. Granted, Remus might have been the only one who would have been legitimately surprised, since he hadn't been privy to their plans for several days. James placed the treats in the middle of the room, followed by the pot of hot chocolate, and then, five mugs. Remus looked at the drink with undisguised longing.
Grinning, James poured large amounts into each of the mugs before sending them their way with a hover charm. They'd only learned it officially last month, but James had known it since September.
Severus had to admit, upon taking a sip, that the hot chocolate tasted especially good today. It was richer than usual, and he could detect the smell and taste of melted marshmallows. Before this year, he had believed that hot chocolate could only be drunk properly during the winter months, but his friends had thought he was crazy when he told them this.
Remus sighed happily upon taking a large sip, then wiped away the foam from his lips. "Thanks, James."
James grinned, then took his mug and his seat next to Sirius, but not before slinging an arm around the recently displaced Peter. Not that Peter seemed to mind.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, drinking up the hot chocolate before sending their mugs in James' direction to refill them.
Which he did, and gave Remus his mug first. He sipped more slowly, this time around-they all did.
Then, James spoke up. "Remus, we have something to tell you."
Remus looked up, his face unconcerned. "All right, then."
Severus slid in a bit closer, and tentatively put a hand on Remus' shoulder.
"We know why you disappear each month," Sirius said, turning a bit to face him.
Remus paled. "But-but I've told you why. Family gatherings...my mother's been ill...and last month, I caught her cold..."
James opened his mouth to speak, and Remus shut his. "We've figured it out, Remus. We know you're a werewolf. And it's okay."
Remus didn't hear the last part, it seemed. He dropped his mug in his haste to get to his feet. Nearly tripping on his robes, he raced to the door. Severus pointed his wand at it and murmured the incantation to lock it. Of course, a simple unlocking charm would reverse this, but Remus had left his wand on the floor.
Severus, closest to him, walked briskly to the door. Remus tried to open it, almost frantically, then began to pound on it. "Please, let me go! I'll go to the headmaster, I'll ask him for a separate room. I'll tell him you've found out...I'll leave the school, if you wish..."
Then, they were all around him. Well, except Severus, who acted on instinct and retrieved the thick, warm blanket from Remus' bed. He muttered a warming charm over it, and once his friends had managed to get him to settle down, at least a little bit, he wrapped it around Remus. Murmuring soothing words, James and Sirius walked Remus to his bed, and Severus helped him onto it. After a moment, he sat next to Remus, who now had tears running down his eyes, and began to card his hair. It was what his mum did when he woke up from a nightmare, after all. Remus seemed to relax, at least a little, and, slowly, the other three had climbed in. Sirius took the other side of him, and James pulled the covers over the three of them before sitting in front of Remus, taking care to avoid his legs. Peter did the same, but on the other side.
Sirius placed a hand over Remus' shoulders. "Hey, it's okay-"
"I'll go to the headmaster," he interrupted, panic returning to his voice. "I'll tell him."
"Remus, will you shut up for a minute and listen!" Severus finally snapped, taking a seat next to his friend and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "It's all right! We're not mad at you for hiding it, and we understand! You're not a monster!"
A bit blunt, but sometimes, bluntness was necessary.
That, and the charmed warmth of the blanket, seemed to help. Remus deflated, just a little, and remained on the bed. Tentatively, Severus sat next to him, taking Sirius' place, but the pure-blood didn't seem to mind. In fact, he placed a hand on Severus' shoulder, as if to say as much.
"Like Sev said. We're not angry at you, Remus," James began, and placed an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. Remus seemed to slump against him. "We understand why you thought you had to hide your lycanthropy."
"And we certainly don't think that you need to leave the school, or ask for a separate room," Sirius added, placing a hand over his shoulders. "You're hardly contagious, and you don't reek."
"Definitely not!" James added. "Unlike Sirius, here."
Sirius snorted.
"You're not a monster, Rem," Peter added. "We'd never think that of you."
Remus looked up at them, meeting their gaze. "Do you...really mean all that?"
They all nodded, and Severus wrapped the blanket around Remus a bit more securely. "It's not your fault someone bit you."
"Not just someone," Remus countered, looking from Severus to James, and then at the others. "Fenrir Greyback."
Even Severus, who had been raised with no connections to the Wizarding World, knew that name. They all winced, hissed, and Sirius Black let out a few swears.
"Do you want to tell us what happened?" James asked, gently.
He floated the pot of hot chocolate over, and poured Remus another mug of it. The floor was stained from his having knocked over the old mug in his haste to escape, but no one paid that any mind. Nothing that the house elves wouldn't be able to sort out, after all. Granted, a good cleaning charm would also go that, but they wouldn't learn those for another couple of years.
Sirius, now seated on the other side of Remus, began to run his hands over his back in a circular motion. Severus doubted that Remus could feel much of it, what with the blanket and all, but Remus seemed to relax, slightly.
He took a sip of the hot chocolate, then began in a small voice.
"When I was very young, around five, a werewolf climbed into my bedroom and attacked me while I was sleeping," Remus began, still clutching the mug with both hands. "My screams brought in my parents, and they rushed to take me to St. Mungos. But there was nothing that the Healers could do-I'd been bitten, and I was a werewolf." Remus' eyes dulled a bit. "At first, when I began to transform each month, I felt very sorry for the werewolf. I thought that he was like me, and couldn't control the instincts. My parents had to keep me locked away and in chains so I wouldn't hurt anyone. It wasn't until a few years later that they told me the truth. They'd gotten on the wrong side of Greyback, and he retaliated by going after me." Remus paused, then took a long swig of the hot chocolate. "Dad was going to teach me magic at home, but Mum had heard about Professor Dumbledore, and thought that he might let me in, if they could make it so that it wasn't dangerous for the other students."
"It worked, didn't it?" James asked him, now running a hand over Remus' back, making small circles.
Remus nodded. "They planted the Whomping Willow over one of the entrances to Hogsmeade. I would go to the hospital wing the night before the full moon, and be escorted there. The entrance led to the Shrieking Shack, where I'd be chained up and not a danger to anyone until the full moon was over. At that point, I'd be unchained and lead back to the castle, where Madam Pomfrey would heal me."
"Heal you?" Severus repeated, glancing directly at him.
Remus nodded. "It's-it's very painful, becoming a werewolf," he began. "The transformation itself is agony. But then, the werewolf mind overpowers mine, and it wants to run, to hunt, to bite. Being chained up, the mind...well, I lose control of my own, and I can't bite others, so I bite myself, instead. Madam Pomfrey often has a lot of damage to repair by the time I'm back to my human body."
He looked up at his friends. "They aren't wrong in thinking that we're monsters. Not entirely. When I'm a wolf, I'm a danger to any human around me. I have to be locked up, to be chained down, or else I could hurt, even kill, other humans."
"You're not a monster," Severus insisted. "It's not your fault you were bitten, and it's certainly not your fault you have to transform every month. You've got no control over it."
"Sev's right," Sirius added. "You have an illness, is all."
"A problem. A furry problem," James said, a bit teasingly. "A little furry problem."
"Yes." Sirius grinned. "That's what we'll refer to it as, all right, Remus?"
Remus had to smile. "You still want to be my friends?"
"Of course we do!" Severus nearly shouted, and the others were quick to agree.
They spend the next several minutes hugging Remus, who still looked pale, and dousing him with two additional mugs of hot chocolate. Finally, the shivering stopped, and he was able to smile at them.
"Thank you," he said, softly.
They insisted that he get some rest, then, and like a bunch of mother hens, they tucked him back into his bed, wrapping the covers tight around him. James and Sirius performed warming charms on his other blankets.
"W-will you stay with me, just for a bit?" Remus asked.
"Of course," James answered, brushing some hair back from his head.
The bed was large enough for four of them to lay side by side. James took one of Remus' sides, and Severus the other. On the other side of James, Peter stretched himself out. Then, Sirius curled up in the space on top of Remus' head, and began carding his hair.
Severus could hear his friend's breathing become slow and even, and he carefully wrapped his arms around him.
"We're not going to let anything happen to you," James promised, from the other side.
"Yeah, and you'll be so toasty and comfortable when you wake up, you'll insist we always sleep like this," Sirius teased.
Remus laughed a bit at that. "Are you sure you're comfortable, Sirius?"
"I'm fine," Sirius insisted, and Severus could hear his grin. "Now, you stay still and sleep tight."
"Very tight," James added, tightening his hug.
"You won't be able to breathe before long," Severus added, with a smirk. "With all of us nearly smothering you."
Remus laughed again, and his eyes closed. "Thank you."
Notes:
Well, there you have it. I wanted to put the big reveal in the first year, although canon is rather murky as to when the others found out. As for how they'll help him cope? You'll have to read on to find out!
Next up: The Marauders experience the aftermath of Remus' first (known) transformation, and try to figure out how best to help him.
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome!
Chapter 33
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
When the next full moon approached, Severus and the others believed that they had a good idea of what to expect when their friend returned. His wounds would be healed by Madam Pomfrey before he would return to their dormitory, but the pain of transforming and turning back, in addition to the injuries he would have sustained on himself while a werewolf, would result in a type of "phantom pain" and exhaustion that would linger for at least an entire day. Remus would spend that time in his bed, so tired and without an appetite that he would have to force himself to eat and drink the most basic of foods. He would recover most of his strength the next day, but the marauders understood that he would not return entirely to normal until after classes began.
The night before Remus would leave for the next couple of days, he was already looking rather pale. Only for the tenth time, they went over how to help him once he returned. They were all near to him, seated on his bed, but James had chosen one side of him, with an arm around his shoulders, and Severus on the other. Peter and Sirius sat a few feet in front of him.
As he was sitting cross legged, they didn't have to worry about his legs.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he said, only for the hundredth time, the evening before.
"Remus, kindly shut up about that," James told him cheerfully, tousling his hair briefly.
Sirius and Severus snorted.
"What he means is that we understand, and we're not angry," Sirius translated.
"And we'll help you when you get back," Peter put in.
"You don't have to do very much," Remus protested, weakly.
"Don't be a prat, Remus," Severus said, rolling his eyes. "We'll be regular mother hens. You won't be able to get rid of us."
"Sev's right," James put in, grinning, and placing an arm around Remus' shoulders. "You're just going to have to put up with the four of us trying to make your life easier after every full moon-"
"-For the rest of our time at school," Sirius interrupted, finishing James' sentence.
Remus chuckled, turning a bit red. "Well, as I said, I mostly just need rest..."
"You asked for extra blankets, and warm ones," Severus reminded him, gently. "I'll handle that."
Technically, he already had-he'd left a note for one of the house elves, and later spoken with her directly. They were, as always, all too happy to serve.
"Tockey will make Mr. Remus' blankets extra soft and warm!" the elf had promised.
"Will you be in pain?" Peter asked. "Or does Madam Pomfrey handle that?"
Remus' face darkened, just a bit. "She fixes my injuries, but I need to rest afterwards. It's all very...wearing on my body." He looked down at the covers. "I don't meant to complain. Anyway, you've already given me so much, simply by understanding."
James squeezed his shoulders. "We'll be right here when you turn back."
Remus nodded, and after a bit, they vacated his bed in exchange for their own.
Severus pulled the covers over his shoulders, burrowing under the warm blankets. He took a minute to enjoy the warmth pouring over his body before closing his eyes and allowing sleep to overtake him.
Remus was gone before Severus woke up, and he felt a pang of loss that he hadn't felt since his friend's first "trip home." This time, of course, Severus was not the slightest bit worried that James or Sirius would use Remus' absence as a way to reveal their true feelings towards him. Severus knew that his friends cared for him like a brother, and he felt the same way. No, this feeling came from a sense of pain at what Remus was about to go through. It had been easier to think his family overworked him when he spent a few days home. Now, they had to face the fact that, at least once a month, Remus' body and mind went through excruciating pain as the werewolf emerged. The same wolf made him tear his body nearly apart, because the wolf longed to bite and infect others, but chains prevented him from doing so.
They'd learned in DADA that most children who had been bitten by werewolves died within a year. Remus must have had access to healing potions during those early days. The ingredients that formed these potions were not very expensive, but they were difficult to brew. Untreated injuries became infectious over time, and the stress on a child's body took its toll before long. Remus' father must have been very knowledgeable to be able to keep him alive for so long.
Everyone seemed down that morning as they bathed and dressed in their school robes. It was even hard to eat, because Severus, at least, felt as though he shouldn't enjoy his food while Remus was suffering. He knew this was illogical, that Remus would want them to go about things as usual until he returned, but Severus was almost glad that his porridge tasted more like lumpy paste than the good and hearty meal he had grown used to.
"What's wrong with you lot?" Lily asked, glancing at them with concern.
Severus shrugged, looking at his roommates. To his surprise, it was Peter who answered with a plausible excuse.
"It's dreary outside, again. Hasn't snowed in a week, but it's not warm enough to enjoy being outside," he explained. "My mum says this is the worst part of the winter months."
Lily laughed. "She's not wrong, there."
They ate in relative silence, and when they rose from the table, Lily looked back at them.
"Remus is home again?"
Severus nodded, not looking at her, and James spoke this time.
"His dad's under the weather. Been ill for almost a week when he contacted Remus," he lied with relative ease.
This made Severus realize that, in all the times Remus had missed class, they had never seen a note from his parents expressing his need to return home. They wrote regularly, of course, but he had never drawn attention to them telling him to return home.
Should Lily know? She'd become friends with Remus, although not quite as good as Severus. On the other hand, she wasn't very fond of the other boys in their year. When Remus returned, Severus would have to ask him directly.
He worried-as did the rest of his friends-throughout the day and into the evening. No one could concentrate very well on studying. Severus kept imagining his friend as a werewolf, chained up, gnawing at his hands in an attempt to escape. He didn't even realize he was crying until the text in his Herbology book became blurred.
Embarrassed, Severus wiped at his cheeks, but Sirius looked up and saw. His face was dry, but his eyes were rather red. Then, James looked up from his work, and he took a deep, almost shuddering breath.
Peter looked up last, his face pale. He looked around at the others, miserably.
"Are we all thinking about Remus?" he asked, softly.
Everyone nodded, including Severus.
"I keep imagining him howling. Trying to break free," he murmured.
"Me too," Sirius agreed. "Plus, the agony of turning into the monster. And back."
Severus shuddered, and James walked over to him and put his arms around him. Grateful as he was, Remus needed the comfort more.
"I wish we could do something to make it easier on him!" he added, still squeezing Severus. "It's got to be so lonely. We could help him through the pain, too, if we were there."
Severus wasn't sure about the last bit, but he wasn't about to protest.
"You're not thinking of us getting bit, are you?" Peter asked, rather tremulously. "To be there with him?"
"Don't be a prat, Peter!" James said, laughing a bit. He gave Severus' shoulder a final squeeze before taking his seat at the table. "I mean... I dunno. Remember what McGonagall said last term about some witches and wizards who could turn into animals?"
"Animagi," Sirius answered, immediately.
"She also said that it can take years to become one," Severus reminded them. "Not to mention it's incredibly dangerous..."
"And we might end up as bugs, since we can't choose our form," Peter piped up.
But James and Sirius were grinning.
"Good thing we have over six years, eh?" James asked. "Mind you, I hope it doesn't take that long."
"Anyway, what are the odds of all four of us ending up as bugs?" Sirius added.
"Dunno, Sirius, your eyes rather match a spider's," James shot back.
Sirius pretended to be physically wounded.
"I reckon we won't all end up as," Severus allowed, a smile forming on his lips. "I certainly won't!"
"We'll never know if we don't become animagi," James pointed out. "How about we start while Remus is away?"
"Tomorrow, then," Sirius decided. "We'll pester McGonagall about the process."
Severus had to laugh outright at that. "What will we ask?"
"How we want to become them as soon as we finish school and we need to start preparing?" Peter asked.
"Best not," Severus advised. "We should take the angle of wanting to study the process. James, you're the best in class. She'd buy it from you."
"Better mind my p's and q's. Not lose any points tomorrow," he noted, with a knowing smile.
McGonagall was, as it turned out, rather in a bad mood the following day. James kept to his plan of not doing anything to lose points, but he vacated the classroom with the other first year students.
They were in the common room, catching up on the homework assignments they hadn't done the night before, when Remus entered, looking pale. He managed a small smile before heading to their dormitory. Despite Severus' promise to let Remus keep to himself-all of their promises, really-all at once, everyone put their books down to follow him to their shared dormitory.
Except, Remus wasn't in the room when they arrived, and they looked around uncertainly.
"You don't think he forgot where he sleeps?" Peter asked, glancing around.
"Let's check the bathroom," Sirius suggested.
"I'll go," Severus offered. "No need for all of us to surround him, if he's there."
The others nodded, and Severus entered the room. A pair of feet stood under one of the stalls.
"Remus? Is that you?" he asked, awkwardly.
"Yes, it's me," came his roommate, sounding tired. "Just a moment."
Severus waited until the door opened, and Remus emerged wearing a sleeping shirt much like Severus' (except his was rather shorter, reaching midway from the knees to the feet instead of covering the ankles), and holding his robes.
"I just wanted to change before resting," he explained, almost apologetically. "Is everything all right?"
"We wanted to make sure you were," Severus answered, giving his friend the once over. Gesturing to the robes, he added, "I can take those, if you like."
He half expected Remus to refuse, but he nodded, gratefully, as though the act of holding his school clothes was almost too much for him.
"Thank you, Severus."
Severus held the door open with one hand as he carried the clothes in the other. The way the robes were folded, Severus suspected they were covering undergarments (not that male wizards wore much in the way of those, usually), and he didn't unfold them. Remus took the steps to his bed slowly, as though he was in pain.
"Thanks for, uh, coming to check on me," Remus addressed the others, forcing a smile.
Everyone except Severus, who was still holding his clothes, pulled him into a very long hug. Remus laughed a bit, but Severus could see his smile was genuine.
"All right, then," James said, giving Remus the once over. "What do you need from us?"
"Rest," Remus answered, simply. Then, almost apologetically, "Perhaps, warm blankets."
"I took care of that," Severus reassured him. "And there's an extra one, in case you need it."
The look of gratitude on Remus' face was almost too much. "Thank you, Severus."
He made his way to the bed, almost hobbling, and Sirius and James pulled back the covers. Once he was laying down, they tucked him in, and made to go.
"D'you..." Remus began, then trailed off.
"What is it?" Sirius asked, sitting down next to him, his voice gentle.
Remus looked embarrassed. "Never mind."
Severus placed the robes on top of one of the chairs, then joined the others. "Go ahead, Remus. What can we do?"
Remus glanced around at the four of them, hovering over them. "C-could one of you stay with me? Just for a bit?"
"I'll do it," Severus offered, immediately.
"There's two sides of the bed. Dibs on the second!" James added, almost gleefully.
Sirius gave them a mock dirty look. "Well, Peter and I get the second shift, then."
Remus chuckled. "Thank you. All of you."
"It's no trouble," James insisted, tucking the covers around his friend. "My mum would card my hair when I wasn't feeling well. Shall I do that?"
Remus' face brightened, and he gave a small nod.
Peter and Sirius left, then, and James reached up and began stroking Remus' hair. The boy let out a small sigh, his face relaxing. Severus secured the blankets over him, wanting to keep in as much warmth as possible.
"Thank you," Remus murmured again.
James shifted his position so he was laying next to Remus, not dropping his hands from his hair. Severus didn't lie down, but he sat next to his friend, close enough to add to the warmth Remus must be feeling.
"Mmm," Remus mumbled.
"We're both quite warm," James said, only half teasingly.
"I'm being baked in an oven," Remus laughed.
Severus sniggered, immediately understanding the reference to Hansel and Gretel, but James looked horrified. Upon seeing Remus' smile and Severus' look of amusement, he relaxed a bit, then rolled his eyes.
"Muggle thing?"
"Yes. I'll explain later," Severus offered.
"Will you wait until I'm awake to do so?" Remus asked, softly.
"Of course."
After Remus was fast asleep, Severus crept back to the common room to retrieve his History of Magic book, as well as his Charms book. He wouldn't be able to write any essays, but he could certainly finish his reading assignments.
James was still stretched out next to Remus, and Severus wasn't sure if his friend was awake or not. He crept onto the bed carefully, and began to read.
Remus rose a few hours later, some of the paleness gone from his face. He didn't look like his normal self, but he also didn't look like he was moments away from...well, Severus didn't like to think about that.
"Hey, Moony. How are you feeling?" James asked, now awake and shifting to a sitting position.
Severus, who had been reading ahead, put his book down to study Remus.
"A bit better," he answered, after a moment. Then, he added, quickly, "Better than I usually feel at this time."
"We won't enter you into a duel just yet," Severus teased, and Remus smiled.
"Can we do anything for you?" James asked. "Are you hungry?"
There was another pause, and Severus wondered if Remus was trying to determine what his bodily needs were at the moment.
"A bit. Not very, but more than usual," he decided.
"It's about time for dinner," Peter pointed out. "Could we bring you something back?"
"I-I think some toast," Remus determined, "and tea."
"That's not very much," Sirius said, in mild consternation.
It was Severus' and Eileen's dinner more often than not...but that was in the past.
"I expect you need to start slowly," Severus pointed out, "and know what your body needs."
"You're right. Tell you what, Remus? We'll eat quickly, and stop by the kitchens for your tea and toast," Sirius offered. He reached over and gave Remus a squeeze.
"Unless you'd rather we do that first?" James added.
But Remus shook his head. "No, you go ahead, I'll be fine."
So they did, a bit reluctantly, although they ate quickly and stopped by the kitchen for Remus' food. It being the dinner hour, there was no need to sneak around. Not that the kitchens were strictly off-limits, but you did need a password to enter...
Severus had been there a few times since his first expedition under James' invisibility cloak, but it was quite another thing to visit during meals. The house elves were always hard at work, of course, but their work took on a new purpose when the students were actively eating.
James seemed to be thinking the same, and muttered something about coming back later to Sirius, when at least five of the elves saw them and gave them enormous smiles.
"It is James Potter!"
"And Sirius Black!"
"And Peter Pettigrew and Severus Snape!"
"What is it that we can be assisting you with?" several asked at once.
"Er, our friend Remus Lupin is a bit under the weather," Sirius began, grinning at them. "He'd like some toast and tea, if you have any."
"Of course we is having some!" one of the female elves assured them. "You must be sitting down and having something to eat and we is to be bringing it for you right away!"
"Yes, right away!" a male elf echoed.
Several minutes later, they headed back to the Gryffindor tower, holding not only a teapot and cups, but a various assortment of toast (some buttered, some covered with various types of jam), as well as various sugary treats.
"Remus isn't going to be able to stomach half of this until at least tomorrow," Sirius said, a note of sympathy in his voice.
"We'll save him some, but there's no sense in letting it go to waste," James decided, taking a bite of tart.
"Will he feel ill if he sees us eating them?" Peter wondered.
"We can always ask," Severus decided. He shook his head as James offered him an eclair. "Thanks, but I'm stuffed."
"Not everyone has your bottomless stomach, James," Sirius laughed, slinging an arm around his shoulder.
James started to talk, swallowed, and then said with more precision, "It's a rare talent."
Severus chortled. James could certainly eat enough to feed a small family.
Remus was awake when they returned, occupied with one of his textbooks.
"Food delivery!" James called, cheerfully. "How are you feeling, Remus?"
He put his book down and adjusted his position so he was sitting straight up. Severus caught the look of pain on his face.
"Would you like some extra pillows?" he asked.
Remus nodded, sitting stiffly, and Severus retrieved four from one of the wardrobes.
"I'll help," Sirius offered, holding out his arms.
Severus handed him two, and after fluffing them, they placed them behind Remus' back. The boy leaned back and sighed.
"Thanks, that's a lot better."
The pillows were stacked high enough to support Remus' back, and after straightening the blankets, James handed him the tray with the toast.
"The house elves went all out, as usual," he explained. "Eat whatever you like."
Severus poured out some tea from the pot, and placed one of the cups on the tray. "And here's your tea."
Remus looked like he might cry. "Thank you."
James took a seat next to him, then placed both arms around his shoulders. "It's no trouble, really. Want me to stay here?"
Remus nodded, and began to eat. The others, Severus included, sat at the table and began to work on their school assignments, not wanting Remus to feel like an exotic animal.
When he turned back, half the toast was finished and James was pouring a second mug of tea for Remus. It reminded Severus a bit of when he was a child and ill, and his mum would take care of him.
Except, Remus' illness was monthly, and tearing his body apart was nothing compared to a fever or sore throat.
He couldn't imagine what it must be like. And that was only the physical element. People feared werewolves, rejected them. Severus and the others wouldn't reject Remus, of course, but he must have experienced it before. Not that Severus would ask.
"Had enough to eat?" James asked, now, and his tone was even more gentle than usual.
Remus nodded. "Think I'll brush my teeth."
He tried to stand, and while he didn't fall, he clearly fought back a spasm of pain.
"Here. Hold onto me," Severus offered, standing by the bed.
"Well, all right," Remus managed, then laughed in a self-deprecating manner. "Good thing I'm not supposed to duel anyone."
He placed an arm around Severus' shoulders, a bit more firmly than usual, but it didn't hurt much. All the same, he was glad that it wasn't far to the bathroom.
Remus collected his toiletries and brushed his teeth carefully, all while keeping an arm around Severus. He kept his mouth over the sink, lest he get toothpaste on him. When he was finished, they made their way back to the bedroom, and Remus nearly collapsed into bed, falling against the cushions.
"You don't look very good," Sirius noted, having headed over and now fluffing one of the pillows.
"It's the worst the day I change back. I'll be better tomorrow, then back to myself-nearly-the next day. As it's a Friday, it worked out well, since I will be in top form for Monday," Remus explained.
James was still on the other side of him, although a foot a way from his frame.
"Is there anything we can do?" Glancing at Remus, his frame propped against the pillows as they physically held him up, he added, "I could rub your shoulders, if you think that might help."
"Really?" Remus asked, as though it was too much to hope for.
"Sure. Here, let me in..."
Severus watched, ready to help if needed, as James did a bit of maneuvering. He ended up leaning against the pillows, squatting behind Remus. Severus couldn't imagine how this position was remotely comfortable, but James grinned at Severus' look of incredulity.
"Don't look at me like I have two heads," he chided. "I am very flexible. Runs in the family."
Severus just shook his head. "As long as we don't have to carry you to the hospital wing afterwards."
James stuck out his tongue (causing Severus to laugh in surprise), then focused his attention on Remus.
"Are you all right, sitting like this?" he asked.
Remus was sitting upright, and he nodded. "Just a bit stiff."
"Not for long," James said, with confidence, and placed his hands on top of Remus' shoulders.
Severus was close enough that he could practically see the pain leaving his friend's body, as his face went from nearly contorted in pain to genuinely relaxed. He was glad for him. Remus deserved every bit of relief that James could provide.
He had finished all of his reading homework when James emerged, a smile on his face.
"He's fast asleep," he said, softly, closing the curtains around Remus' bed.
"I hope he does feel better tomorrow," Peter said, looking up from a textbook. "Poor Remus. He looked awful."
"He did," James agreed, flexing his hands and taking a seat between Sirius and Severus. "But he looked a lot better just now. Even tried to thank me."
Severus smiled, easily able to picture this. "It was good of you to do that, James."
He shrugged. "I'm just glad it helped. My parents give each other back and foot massages at least once a week. I might have asked for one on occasion," he said, grinning, "and they showed me how to give a good one. Rather think my mum benefited the most to have the two of us able to give her a good back or foot rub."
Peter squirmed a bit. "I expect a back rub would feel nice, but I wouldn't want anyone near my feet."
Severus shrugged. "When my mum was pregnant with my brother, her feet got huge. She still wore tight shoes all the time, and would have Kreacher-one of our house elves-spend hours on them. Then, she'd put on slippers that squeezed them almost as much before going to bed. Insane, women are."
James tousled his hair. "Your mum's in a class all by herself."
"No argument there, mate," Sirius relented.
"What are your parents like, Peter? You don't talk about them much," James asked him.
"Oh, I don't know much about my dad. He died of dragon pox when I was really young," Peter answered. "I think he was a muggle-born, because my mum's from a wizarding family and I am a half-blood. But my grandparents aren't alive on either side."
James nodded. "Dragon pox, too?"
Peter shook his head, then shrugged. "I think my mum's did. She doesn't like to talk about any of them. I didn't even know that they both met in Gryffindor until I sent her an owl that I was sorted there."
There was a silence for awhile, and then Sirius turned to Severus.
"What about your family, Sev?"
He shrugged. "My mum has a brother and a sister. Never met them, or my grandparents."
"What about you, James?" Sirius asked.
"My mum's are dead, my dad's are alive. We see them a few times a year," James answered, with a shrug. "They had Dad when they were on the older side, and my mum didn't have me until she was a bit older."
Severus thought that it was likely that his grandparents were alive. His mum wasn't even thirty. Surely, they couldn't be more than seventy, and probably closer to fifty. They were probably younger than James' parents.
"We're all only children, except Sirius," Peter noted.
"Well, your dad died early, James' parents had him old, Remus got bitten early so they probably didn't want to have more kids and put them in danger. And Sev's father..." Sirius trailed off.
"Having grown up with them, it's no wonder I am an only child. Mind, I wouldn't wish my father on anyone," he answered, a bit bitterly. "I reckon I only exist because I was born before I should have, strictly speaking."
James put a hand on his shoulders. "That's hardly your fault."
Severus nodded, but it didn't feel that way. Not after finding out from his mum. If she hadn't gotten pregnant, she might not have married Tobias...
Peter yawned and muttered something about going to bed, and Sirius followed him. Severus still had fourteen inches left to write for Transfiguration. It was tempting to put it off, but he had just read the chapters, and he'd rather do it when it was fresh in his mind.
James was still working, too, so Severus didn't need to leave the bedroom in favor of the common room.
Finally, it was finished, and Severus was sure it would receive a good grade, if not full marks. He stood and stretched, trying to get the feel of being upright again. How long had he been working? Glancing at his watch, it was only a little after 10, but they'd arrived back at the common room before 6.
Out of the corner of his eye-a skill he'd developed from years of being suddenly grabbed and beaten by his muggle father-he saw James was watching him.
"What?" he asked, a little defensively.
James raised his hands in the universal motion of surrender, and his face went pale.
"What do you mean, Severus?" he asked in a calm manner.
Severus sighed, realizing he was overreacting. For Merlin's sake, this was James. They hadn't fought since their first meeting. Even then, James hadn't even sent sparks at him with his wand.
"Sorry," he said, meaning it. "You reminded me of my father, just them."
Now, James looked confused. "What d'you mean?" At Severus' hesitation, he added, "I can't stop doing something that alarms you if I don't know what it is, Sev."
Severus nodded, realizing the validity of his friend's statement. And James was his friend-they all were. Sure, he was closer with Remus than James and Sirius, but he had come to think of them all as close friends. Maybe even brothers. Not that he would know, having never had a brother.
He sat down on the edge of his bed, and James joined him, placing a hand around his shoulders.
"You know my father beat me?" Severus began.
He glanced at James, who nodded, looked pained, and squeezed Severus' shoulders in a comforting manner.
"It wasn't just when he thought I misbehaved," he continued. "He got drunk fairly often, and could be violent towards my mum and me. More towards me, because she had magic, even though I'd never seen her use it on him. And when he was in the room, then, I couldn't just leave, because then I knew he would follow me and give me a real beating..." Severus paused for a breath, and James' grip on him tightened. "So, I got used to knowing when he was there and had his eyes on me without looking at him. And, by extension, whenever anyone else was."
This had saved him, or at least warned him, on several occasions. Severus couldn't do much to defend himself when his father took out the belt and pinned him down, but when he was just an angry drunk? He couldn't fight the monster his father had become, but he could deflect the blows.
He glanced at James, who had this look of understanding on his face, compassion even, even though it was obvious to Severus that his friend had never experienced worse than a spanking. If that.
James wrapped his arms around Severus, and he returned the hug gratefully. He didn't want it to end anytime soon, and James seemed to understand.
"Merlin, Sev. I'm sorry your father was such an abusive git," he murmured.
Severus forced a smile. "At least he's gone, now."
James let go of him, placing both arms around his shoulders, instead. "Yeah, but going through that...it's likely to mess someone up."
Severus snorted. "Even make them want to get sorted into Slytherin?"
James chuckled. "Exactly."
Not that they were all bad. Andromeda Black was one of the good ones, and even Narcissa (for all of her infatuation with the Prefect Lucius Malfoy) seemed more cold and proud than vindictive. Like her sister, Bellatrix. Not that Severus really knew much about the sisters except the stories Sirius told, and seeing them in the Great Hall for meals. Anyway, the best representative of the house was likely Professor Slughorn...
"I'm glad I'm here," Severus murmured.
James put a hand on his shoulder. "Me too, Sev."
A yawn escaped him. "Will you be up much longer?"
James glanced at Remus' bed. "Just a bit."
Nodding, Severus gathered a sleeping shirt before heading to the bathroom. As he'd washed earlier, he only needed to brush his teeth. Too bad-he would have enjoyed the head massage. But he didn't want to use up the shampoo and conditioner too quickly, and become reliant on Remus' good graces before more arrived via owl post.
James was reading at the table when Severus returned, depositing his dirty robes in the hamper that the house elves would collect before they woke up.
He looked up when Severus returned, then stood. Severus gave him another smile, albeit a tired one.
"Going to sleep?"
Severus nodded.
"You know, you're next to Remus and if he needs any help during the night, I reckon I could help him easier if I'm next to you."
Severus smirked. "You just want access to my mum's blanket."
James laughed, following Severus to the bed. "Added benefit."
James followed Severus, laying next to him, and placing his hands around his frame. Severus felt his mind begin to drift off into sleep.
Notes:
Next up: The marauders consider adding the confidence of another to their newly founded secret. You can probably guess who.
As always, constructive feedback would be most welcome!
Chapter 34
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
All of the marauders kept an eye on Remus the next day, to put it mildly. Even though he said that most of the pain had left his body, he still looked rather pale, and was moving slower than usual. Even so, he joined them in the Great Hall for meals, and ate considerably more than he had the previous day.
Despite this, Severus thought that they rather took their cue from Remus as to how to act around him. While he didn't need (or want) silence or to be treated like an invalid throughout the day, which anyone could see.
That being said, Remus did take a nap after eating his standard-sized lunch.
While he was sleeping, Severus broached the topic of whether Lily should know about Remus' condition.
"If we tell everyone, the wrong sort will inevitably find out," Sirius said, quietly.
"Lily's hardly 'everyone,'" Severus protested, hurt. "She knows how to keep a secret."
"How's that?" James asked, without thinking.
Severus fixed him with a look that he understood.
"Oh."
"We'll ask Remus first, of course. It's up to him," Severus added, quickly. "I was just wondering what you thought."
James nodded. "If Remus doesn't mind, I can't complain. It's his secret, after all."
Severus decided to be the one to take the initiative. That evening, while the others were helping Peter with a Transfiguration essay in the library, he stayed behind, claiming he wanted to do some reading that wasn't school related. This might have earned him an eye roll from James, but he didn't say that it was Severus who had turned in an extra credit assignment for Charms.
Remus had finished all of his makeup work, and was reading from Potioneer's Weekly on his bed. Well, perusing it, rather. Severus could always tell when his friend was studying something, as opposed to looking it over for entertainment.
"Feeling a bit better?" he asked, from his bed.
Remus smiled. "Yeah, I'm back to myself, or will be by tomorrow. Thanks for understanding, Severus."
Severus made an effort not to roll his eyes. "It's not your fault that you have, as James puts it, a furry little problem."
Remus actually chortled at this. "That sounds like I own a very badly behaved rabbit."
"What would you rather we call it? If we have to refer to it at all?" Severus asked.
Remus shrugged. "I never thought much about it. I expect that calling it my furry problem lends a humorous element to it."
Severus impulsively pulled his friend into a hug. "Nothing's funny about having your body ripped apart by a monster inside."
Remus squeezed him back, tightly. "I know."
"Would you want more people to know about it?" Severus asked, after a moment. "If it wasn't so...taboo?"
"Yes." His friend's voice was soft. "My mum thinks that people fear what they don't understand. Especially in our world. She's muggle, you know, so when I got bit, she was only thinking about my health, and about the pain I'd go through each month. My dad certainly thought about that as well," he added, quickly, "but he's a pure-blood. He knew it would be awful for me, not just the lycanthropy, but what people would say if they knew it. And, well, we aren't exactly rich. Not like James and Sirius. I'll need almost perfect grades just to be considered for any job, since I'll have to register, and they'll sack me as soon as they can. If I'm lucky, the full moon will fall on weekends for the first several months, and I'll have been able to save a bit." Remus gave Severus a sad smile. "It's silly, perhaps, to be not even twelve and worrying about where your meals will come from when you're an adult."
Severus put an arm around his shoulder. "My father used to drink away most of his paycheck. Said it was his right-in more colorful language. My mum and I went hungry a lot. Anyway," he added, "we won't let anything happen to you, so don't worry, all right?"
Remus nodded, just a bit, and Severus could tell that he still doubted him. He could almost read his friend's mind-a lot could happen between now and when they graduated from Hogwarts.
Of course, a lot of good could happen as well.
"If people could know, more people, would you want them to?" Severus asked.
Remus gave his friend an odd look. "Didn't you just ask me this?"
Severus laughed. "All right, you caught me. What d'you say about telling Lily?"
Remus' reaction surprised Severus. "All right." At what must have been Severus' surprised, even shocked, expression, he went on. "She's muggle born, so she likely doesn't know about all the hatred we face. Hasn't absorbed it, anyway. And we are friends with her. You're the closest with her, of course, but we all like her."
"Don't tell James, but I'd say you're better friends with her than he is," Severus noted.
"I'm a bit less of a prankster," Remus allowed.
"Quieter, too," Severus added, with a grin.
"Just a bit," Remus chuckled.
They gathered in their dormitory after dinner--Peter's assignment was finally finished--and Remus told them that they could involve Lily on his secret.
"Just Lily, though," he added, quiet yet determined. "I know how popular she is, and she might want to tell at least one of her friends. And, well, given that no one was supposed to know..."
"You didn't tell us--we found out," Sirius reminded him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Dumbledore didn't take into account our excellent detective skills, as well as far above average intelligence."
"Near genius level," James put in, grinning.
"Modest, too," Peter remarked. "Aren't they, Sev?"
"Exceedingly," Severus said, dryly.
Remus tried--and utterly failed--to hide a grin.
"She just has to keep it a secret, all right?" he asked, after a moment.
"I've known Lily for years," Severus reminded him. "She knew she was a witch well before the letter came. Her prat of a sister knew, but that couldn't be helped. And the Obliviation department never had to visit our village, so that shows that she can keep a secret when it counts."
"Obliviation department?" James and Sirius said at once.
"That's what Mum calls it," Severus explained, with a shrug. "It likely has a more boring name, like Department of Accidents and Memory Reversal...something or another. What it comes down to is the same. Making muggles without magical relatives forget that they saw anything out of the ordinary."
Remus nodded, seeming reassured. "Shall we see if we can find her right now?"
"No time like the present," James answered, brightly, and the five of them went out in search of her.
They were rather in luck. Lily could have been with her gaggle of girl friends, and they would have needed to find an excuse to talk to her alone. Instead, after not finding her in the common room, Severus suggested they check the Owlery--and there she was.
Decked in bright blue robes, with her red hair down her back, Severus rather thought that she would have been easily spotted even in a group. As it was, she was the only one in the Owlery--or rather, the only one in that part of the Owlery.
"Oi, Lil!" James shouted, grabbing her by the shoulder.
Lily turned around, a look of irritation on her face. "Don't just grab me like I'm a cat or a dog, James!"
He raised his hands in defeat. "Sorry."
She glanced around at the others, still a bit cross. "What do...all of you want, anyway?"
"We'd, er, like a word with you," Severus explained. "After you're finished with your letter, that is."
Lily tucked the parchment into one of her pockets. "Fine, let's go."
"We can wait," Peter offered.
She crossed her arms. "Are you planning on sending any owls?"
No, they hadn't.
"Then, you came up here just to track me down, did you?" Lily guessed.
"Lucky guess on our end," Severus admitted. "We didn't see you with any of your usual friends."
"No, I fancied writing to Tuney--Petunia--and not have them looking over my shoulder," she answered, rather frankly.
"And just when you were getting started, we came along and interrupted you," Remus guessed, smiling, yet looking rather self-effacing.
Lily shrugged. "I wasn't getting very far with it. I'd intended just to send a quick note, wishing her a happy birthday. But she's still being awful--never answered my last owl--and I'd only gotten as so far as 'Dear Petunia' when you lot came in." She sighed. "Maybe it's for the best. I might have remained here all evening. What did you want to talk to me about, anyway?"
"Not here." Severus glanced around the room. A few more students had come in, and even though they weren't paying them any mind, you could hardly be too careful. "Will you come with us to our dormitory?"
Another shrug. "All right, then."
He would have thought the journey back to the Gryffindor tower would have been awkward, but James started up a conversation about the latest Defense class, which had been a practical. They'd learned how to disarm each other, only Sirius and James had learned quickly enough that the hex worked almost as well as a Summoning Charm (which they wouldn't officially learn until their fourth year), and after having mastered taking their wands from their partners, had moved on to books, quills, and even shoes.
Well, the shoes had to be untied.
"I still remember the stench!" Lily said, with a laugh. "Sirius, don't you ever bathe your feet?"
"Sure. Once a day, like the rest of me," he said, mock affronted. "It's not my fault I have sweaty feet."
"Sweaty, putrid, festering, the list goes on and on," James put in. "They're freezing, too. Never make him mad, or he'll dangle them in your face to wake you up."
"I never!" Sirius protested.
"You threatened me at least twice," Peter pointed out.
"Didn't go through with it, did I?" Sirius reminded him. "Doesn't count."
Lily snorted. "I'm with Peter. It counts."
"So am I," James added, giving her a smile.
By then, they'd reached the tower. After providing the password (Murkylard), they stepped inside and headed straight to the first year male dormitory.
"All right," Lily said, taking a seat on one of the chairs. "What did you want to talk about?"
There was a pause, and Severus realized that they hadn't thought that far ahead.
Remus broke the silence. "I, er, I'm a werewolf."
Notes:
Good way to end the chapter, huh, with a nice cliffhanger? :)
Next up? Well, I haven't started the next one, yet, but I expect it will involve more of Lily, and the Marauders on their journey to become animagi--although their transformations won't happen for at least a couple of years. Yes, they're extremely clever, but it's something that full-grown witches and wizards rarely attempt. I'm not going to have them start out their second year with their animal forms intact!
As always, constructive feedback would be most welcome!
Chapter 35
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus was relieved, though hardly surprised, when Lily reacted to this news with compassion.
"Oh, Remus," she said, softly, tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. For how long?"
"I was bit when I was a small child, maybe five years old," he answered, giving her a smile. "I barely remember my life before I had to transform every month.
Lily tsked a bit, but it was clear to Severus and Remus that this was sympathy.
Even more so when Lily asked Remus if she could give him a hug, and he nodded. She wrapped her arms around him, and even though she was several inches smaller than Severus, and even smaller still than Remus, Severus could tell that his friend felt its strength.
Lily's hugs, although hardly daily occurrences, were nearly as strong as his mum's.
When she let Remus go, she asked, almost shyly if she could learn more about "his condition" and how he was managing at school.
So, seated at the table in their shared room, Remus went over what he's told the others more than a month previously.
"It's very painful," he concluded, "but it's been easier, on my body, since I've been here. Dad's great at healing potions and all, but nothing like Professor Slughorn and Madam Pomfrey."
Severus was about to ask what Slughorn had to do with it, but stopped himself before he could ask something so ridiculous. Yes, of course, Madam Pomfrey had skills at brewing potions. You could not become a Healer without one, any more than you could perform magic without a wand. All the same, with a Potions expert like Slughorn on staff, Madam Pomfrey could devote her time to diagnosing and healing her charges, rather than wasting precious hours on brewing the potions.
He rather suspected that at St. Mungos, the Healers took turns with that sort of thing. No one could do it all at once-there simply weren't enough hours in the day.
Severus was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he missed all but the end of Lily's question.
"...hurts something awful when you return to your human body, I expect?"
Remus nodded, then winced. "The wolf mind takes over my human one. The pain of transforming to and from is bad enough, but the wolf-the werewolf, really-longs to bite, to devour human flesh. Chained up and isolated as I am, the wolf can't harm anyone but himself. Myself," Remus corrected himself. "I feel it each time I come to."
Lily made a strangled sound. "And to go through that every month..."
"Sometimes, more," Remus added. "Because our months are longer than twenty-eight days, and on a rare occasion, it falls twice."
"Does it hurt more?" Peter spoke up. "It's the same time frame either way, isn't it?"
Remus shrugged. "It shouldn't, I expect. As you said, it's the same twenty-eight days. I think-I think it's more draining on my mind. Turning towards the beginning, and then again at the end. It's harder the second time."
"Is that very often?" James wondered. Then, he did the calculations in his head. "No, it can't be more than once every couple of years."
"Two to three years," Remus corrected, with a smile. "Depending on the month the last one occurred. Last one was this past December. I was out at the beginning, and the second was when we were on our Christmas holidays. So, I expect I'll be in third or fourth year when it happens again."
"We'll keep you extra well-stocked in chocolate when that happens," James promised, and the others nodded with vigor.
Lily looked puzzled. "Why chocolate, of all sweets?"
"It's got healing powers," Remus explained. "Mind, it's always been my favorite sweet, even before I was bit. Mum says so. She thinks it developed when she was carrying me. It was her favorite sweet as well, but she got awful cravings then. Dad says she must have eaten at least two pounds every week."
"Your parents are both magical, then?" Lily asked, changing the topic.
Remus shook his head. "Dad's a pure-blood, but my mum's a muggle. She had a rather nasty introduction to the magical world by means of encountering a Bogart. Dad saved her, and thus began their courtship." He grinned, then. "But she adjusted soon enough, and they even put a Bogart topper on their wedding cake. And she wears the robes that we do."
Lily laughed. "Sure, as they're loads more comfortable than our skirts and trousers."
"I can't speak for skirts, but I'd agree about the trousers," Severus put in. "Remus, did you dress like a muggle before you came to Hogwarts?"
Remus shook his head. "My parents kept me rather isolated, even though I was only dangerous during the full moon. Wizarding children grow up hating and fearing werewolves, and we lived away from muggles. Besides," he added, rather contemplatively, "I expect it would have been rather difficult to explain where I was going to school during holidays, even if most of them were away as well."
"The statute of secrecy?" Lily asked, with a slight nod.
"Yes. Close family can know, especially if you're muggle-born, but our world has to be kept a secret," Remus explained.
"I can understand. I expect that Petunia would tell everyone if she didn't think I was a freak, but Mum and Dad are really happy for me. They see it as a rare talent, being a witch." Lily, who had been looking sour at the mention of her sister, turned happier when she spoke of her parents. "So, aside from chocolate, what else can I do? Can we do?" she added, glancing around the room.
"Not tell anyone, because no one is supposed to know. I'm safe being around everyone when I'm myself, and the Shrieking Shack is extremely well secured. Professor Dumbledore told me about his plans for the Whomping Willow the summer before it was planted. The other students just think it's a rare plant, likely for Professor Sprout to use, and if they wonder about it, I expect it's that it's not in one of her greenhouses..." Remus trailed off. "Anyway, you don't need to be afraid of me, Lily."
"I'm not!" she insisted, almost hotly. Then, she added in a softer tone, "Really, Remus. I'm not. Now, had it been any one of you, I'd say otherwise," she added, voice teasing, eyes darting towards Sirius and James.
"Hey!" they both shouted, looking almost identically affronted.
Severus snorted.
"Why not Sev?" they protested at once.
Lily glanced fondly at Severus. "He'd have told me first thing. Well, right after I was a witch."
Severus wondered about that. Would he have told Lily as soon as she claimed? Likely not. He probably would have waited at least a month.
After all, even if she hadn't grown up to fear werewolves, you don't spring on anyone (much less a girl) that they've got magic, and that you're a dark creature.
Remus chuckled a bit before smiling at Severus. "How'd that go down?"
Lily returned his smile with a rather sly one of her own. "That's a story for another time."
Severus bit back a relieved sigh. Sure, his friends were all from magical families and might have struggled the same way he had when he'd told Lily she was a witch.
That didn't mean he didn't look back on the memory with some hesitation. He could have done much better.
Could have waited until Petunia was out of sight.
Lily asked Remus a bit about the kinds of potions Madam Pomfrey and his parents used after his transformations.
He shrugged, rather uneasily. "Ones for bruising and pain, I expect. I'm in too much pain to notice much of what goes on around me when I turn back. Some senses brighten, others dull."
Like smell, Severus expected. Wolves had excellent noses, and werewolves were likely no exception. Likely as not, they relied on their noses to spot humans to bite.
But Remus isn't like that, he reminded himself. Not like Greyback.
That werewolf's reputation was so well-known that some witches might threaten their children with an appearance of him if they refused to come inside after dark.
Not his mum, of course, but he expected that Sirius had heard the threat often enough.
"I wish there was more we could do," Lily murmured, taking his hand. "To have to go through all of that, alone, each month."
Alone. Well, if they managed the Animagus transformation, even one of them, Remus wouldn't be alone.
Then again, he hoped they didn't turn out to become insects or mice or something.
Remus just shrugged. "I'm rather used to it. I expect it doesn't get much easier, but I know what to expect."
Lily hugged him again, and they stayed rather quiet until James suggested a game of Exploding Snap.
"What d'you say, Lily? Are you in?"
Lily gave him an evaluating glance before nodding. "Oh, all right, then."
Notes:
Up next: Severus makes a friend in Ravenclaw.
As always, constructive feedback would be much appreciated!
Chapter 36
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
A few weeks after they told Lily, and just at the next full moon, Severus woke up feeling his usual sense of anxiety before the weekly double Potions lesson.
It had little to do with his ability to do well in the class. He knew that he could create potions at least on a third year level upon entering the school, and his reading and brewing skills had only further developed during the school year. Nor did he dislike Professor Slughorn-the teacher clearly had favorites, as his housemates had spoken about "slug parties," but he didn't favor Slytherin house (overtly) over the others.
No, the anxiety came from Slughorn's decision to pair each student with a student they hadn't worked with before during the brewing process. He wouldn't say it out loud, but no one in his year came close to his level, and frequently, they hindered the process. He had to remind himself to be patient, that even the pure-bloods likely hadn't studied with their parents to the extent that he'd studied with his mum. Why, she'd been reading brewing books to him before he could walk!
All the same, brewing potions with a complete novice was far more dangerous than practicing charms and transfigurations with one. There was simply far more potential for injury, even with the most simple of potions. Too many stirs, adding the ingredients in the wrong order, and the whole thing was likely to blow up in your face.
This had happened, too. Not to Severus, but to others in his class. Slughorn had been there within seconds, administering the necessary antidotes and Vanishing the useless potions, all with a sympathetic manner and a chuckle. Meanwhile, Severus would try not to look at his partner and think that it could have been them, if he hadn't been quick to correct the other's mistakes.
Given his preference, Severus would have brewed entirely alone, but they wouldn't even begin that until the second year.
In the meantime, he would just have to keep on his toes and hope to subvert any damage his less talented classmates might cause.
"Sev's grumpy," James teased, as they headed to their door.
It was true, but Severus hadn't so much as said anything.
"How do you know?"
Sirius counted on his hands. "First off, it's a double Potions lesson. Second, it's a double Potions lesson. Third...it's a double Potions lesson."
Severus managed a snort. "That's one reason."
"Ah, but repeated twice for emphasis," James explained, slinging an arm around his shoulder. "Cheer up, mate. It's not like you've ever been attacked by a Swelling Solution."
"Not attacked yet, you mean," Severus reminded him. "Came close last week."
"You were working with Sally Buckright, though. She's pants at Potions," Peter put in. "Not that I'm much better..."
"At least you know not to put the muckrate root in before the spangled leaves," Severus pointed out.
He'd worked with Peter once. It hadn't gone too badly. Knowing that it was not a lesson he thrived at, he mostly let Severus do the brewing, satisfied with being assigned to cut up the ingredients.
Peter brightened at the compliment. "You won't be with me today, though. Slughorn says there won't be any repeats until everyone's worked with someone they haven't."
"I know," Severus replied, dully. "Wonder who I'll get today."
He wasn't very hungry at breakfast, but knew he had to eat something or he'd be unable to concentrate halfway through the lesson. Settling on a small helping of eggs and a piece of toast, he set himself to the task of eating.
He wished he could be as carefree as James and Sirius. Their marks were nearly as good as his, but he hadn't had a chance to work directly with either of them. Remus was fine as well, although he certainly wouldn't be a potioneer as a career. "Furry little problem" aside, he was apt to attack the ingredients, rather than treat them with the care they deserved. Really, Peter was better at preparation than that!
All too soon, they had to head down to the dungeons. Severus ate the last bite of egg before abandoning his food, and took another deep breath. Then, he hoped that whoever he was paired with didn't send him to the hospital wing.
Slughorn was waiting with his usual cheery grin. Severus and the others took their usual seats near the front of the room, and watched as Lily and her group of friends took seats slightly further back. She gave him a small wave upon seeing him peering at her, and he waved back.
"Today," Slughorn began, "you will be brewing a Forgetfulness potion. You will have the aid of your textbook for today, but you'll be expected to know it by heart for the final exam. Yes," he added, to murmurs around the class, "I am telling you now what is on the final exam, and yes, you will be required to memorize the entire process. While you are only first year students, this will be expected for your OWLs, and it's best to begin early. Besides," he concluded, with a smile, "if you are in a situation where you must brew in real life, you are unlikely to have the aid of your textbook."
Several students groaned, but Severus was not one of them. Memorization was a key element to potion making. Slughorn was right-you could not rely on the book always being there.
Slughorn lectured for the next quarter-hour about the history of this potion and ways it had been used in the past. It was not unlike a History of Magic lesson, only far more interesting. Severus took careful notes until the teacher stopped speaking.
"Finally, what you have all been waiting for." Slughorn boomed a laugh. "Your pairings, for today, are as follows..."
As they shared this lesson with Ravenclaw house, Severus still did not know most of the names. Ravenclaws were, he felt, rather a mixed bag when it came to brewing. Some were still so enthralled with having been Sorted into the house known for knowledge that they became overconfident. Others were astute learners and brewers.
He'd had his share with both.
Casting a glance at his friends, he saw James and Sirius watching and listening animatedly, while Peter's face showed boredom. Really, Severus couldn't blame him. The whole process lasted at least five minutes, with Gryffindor's eleven students (there were six girls) and Ravenclaw's fifteen. If there had been an odd number in all, perhaps Severus could have persuaded Slughorn to let him brew on his own, but such was not his luck.
Well, he'd been lucky this term in other ways, so perhaps an hour or so of worrying that your partner would be worse than incompetent, oven the span of a week, wasn't too terrible.
James grinned as Slughorn announced Lily's name with his own. Sirius ended up with a female from Ravenclaw, and Peter with one of the females from their house-Amanda Brickshield or something. It was a strange last name.
Then, Severus heard, "Severus Snape, with Charity Burbage."
After he finished with the last few names, the students all moved to join their partners. To avoid confusion, Slughorn had instated the rule, early on, that the name of the first person would remain in their seat, and the second would join them. So, Severus had to stay put until his partner showed up at his desk.
It didn't take long. A rather small girl made her way across the room, and up front, Severus thought that she looked rather like a prettier version of his mum when she was that age. Pale, rather delicate skin instead of the sallow he associated with his mum. Dark green eyes, not entirely unlike Lily's. Long, curly hair, although she'd had the sense to tie it back for the class.
"Hello," she greeted, giving him a friendly smile. "I'm Charity Burbage."
She reached out her hand, and he shook it. "I'm Severus Snape."
Rather briskly, she sat down next to him, and opened her Potions book. "Shall we start?" Before he could answer, she went on, "Or prepare the ingredients? I rather don't like not having everything ready beforehand, but I can work either way."
Severus felt a wave of relief. She, in all likelihood, would not risk contaminating the potion or him.
"Let's prepare them, first. Faster and more efficient in the long run," Charity suggested.
He nodded, glad to have what seemed like a truly competent brewing partner.
At first, they sorted and cut up and squeezed and shriveled the necessary ingredients in silence.
Then, Charity broke the silence.
"You're in Gryffindor, aren't you?" she asked.
Severus looked up from his work, a bit startled. "You don't know the names of the boys in your house?"
She laughed. "Of course I do. Had to break the silence somehow, didn't I?"
"I suppose so," he answered, with a small shrug.
"You have any brothers or sisters at Hogwarts?" she went on, head lowered over as she sliced up the goat brain.
"No, I'm an only child. Do you?" he asked, because he knew he should reciprocate.
"I've got an older sister named Grace. Ravenclaw, same as me. She's a fifth year," Charity explained. "All my family were in Ravenclaw."
"Are you from a wizarding family, then?"
"I'm not a pure-blood, if that's what you mean." Charity gingerly placed the brain slices in the middle of their table, and reached for the illustrian root. "My mum's from one of those older families, and my dad's a muggle-born. I reckon that makes me and my sister half-bloods."
"I'm a half-blood as well, only my father's a muggle," Severus told her as he sorted through the beetle eyes. "My mum was a Prince before she married him."
Charity looked interested. "Was her name Eileen, by any chance?"
Severus nodded, eliciting another grin.
"Oh, she was my mum's best friend back in school! Amanda Selwyn," Charity added. "You're not still Unplottable, are you? She tried to send an owl several years back, but it just returned with the letter."
He shrugged. "We've moved since then, to Hogsmeade. I don't know if my mother's going to make our place Unplottable or not. I can let her know, though, if your mum wants to try again."
"I'll ask. Say, where'd you live before?"
"Cokeworth," Severus answered, trying not to flinch. To outsiders, it was just a muggle town, not the dingy place he'd grown up in.
"Hogsmeade, really? You're lucky. How are the shops?"
Severus tried not to laugh at this excited reaction. Really, everyone would be able to go there in a little over a year. All the same, it rather pleased him to have access to the only all-magical town in Great Britain.
"They're quite good," he allowed, "but I only went to some of them, and not very much. We still lived in Cokeworth when I left for school, and I've only been back for the Christmas holidays."
She nodded, then lit the flame below their cauldron. "Does your father like living in Hogsmeade?"
Severus stiffened. "He's, er, not living with us anymore."
"He died since you started school?" Charity asked, tone sympathetic.
Ha. He wished.
"No...my mum divorced him. He was...not a good person," Severus added, quickly. "It's much better this way."
Charity nodded, almost briskly. She adjusted the flame before adding the beetle eyes.
"Is your mum going back to her original surname, then?"
Severus hadn't considered this. When divorce occurred between witches and wizards, regardless of blood status, the female had the option of going to the Ministry and requesting a petition for Change of Name charm. When a witch married a muggle, there was no request involved, only a visit with the divorce paperwork. He imagined that some completed it all at once.
Of course, children were required to keep the name of their father, even if he was a muggle. They could apply for the charm once they came of age, and Severus imagined that a few might, but by then, everyone knew you by yourself childhood surname.
Severus didn't know what he would do, but he rather loathed the idea of being stuck with that name for the next five years. It was hardly his fault that his mother had gotten herself knocked up by a deadbeat muggle, and had felt it necessary to marry the prat...
"I don't know," he said, shortly. "I expect so."
They were quiet for the next few minutes, covering the awkwardness with brewing the Forgetfulness potion. It took considerable concentration, because as the ingredients blended, waves of confusion and forgetfully emitted from the cauldron. It was essential to do nothing until they faded.
Charity laughed when the last of the waves disappeared. "Goat brain next?"
Severus consulted the textbook, even though he knew this was correct. "Yes, and then the roots."
They spent the last twenty or so minutes focused entirely on the final stages, and when it was complete, the potion was the exact consistency and color the textbook claimed it would be.
"Excellent job, Mr. Snape and Miss Burbage!" Slughorn boomed, upon viewing it and stirring it with his wand. "Ten points to Gryffindor and Ravenclaw."
"Thank you, sir," they both replied in unison.
They smiled at each other. Severus knew that they had worked well together, flawlessly, really. Even if the social aspects had been rather difficult, at times.
"Wish we could choose our own partners," she murmured. "Can't tell you how many times my dunderhead classmates nearly missed a step in the brewing, or mutilated an ingredient rather than treating it with the respect it deserved."
Severus snorted. "Same here."
She gave him a knowing look. "I reckoned that wouldn't happen with you. My classmates said you were rather good." Then, she added, "They're Ravenclaws, you know. Can't give too much credit to another house."
"I expect that's universal," Severus admitted.
"Well," Charity said, picking up her bag, "perhaps we'll get to work together again before end of term."
"Perhaps," Severus agreed, grabbing his own bag.
Notes:
I knew that I wasn't going to pair Severus and Lily in this fic--James/Lily was the end game, regardless. However, I did want him to find someone he would be happy with, and I felt that of all the characters introduced in the Harry Potter series, he might have had at least a friendly connection with Charity Burbage. As there's very little canon about her, I decided to tell part of her back story in this chapter. You'll notice that, even she's related to one of the Sacred 28 families, she's not pure-blood. Her upbringing is what later leads her to wanting to foster understanding between magical and non-magical humans. However, I didn't want to cover all of this in one chapter. Suffice it to say that she'll be back, and that it will be a few years before there are ANY romantic pairings. You might see an introduction of Marlene McKinnon rather soon, though.
I also thought it would make sense that Severus would somewhat dread Potions because it's the most dangerous subject (I mean, poor Neville ended up with boils on his face because he put the quills in the wrong order--and that was in their first class!), at least for their age level. Maybe you can set someone's hair on fire with sparks, but otherwise they just don't have enough magical abilities and practice. Potions? Yeah, you can do some real damage!
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome.
Next up: Easter holidays, and the first step towards becoming animagi. Also, Sirius' relatives are really, really, REALLY jerks.
Chapter 37
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Even though all of Severus' roommates had been warned that the Easter holidays would consist of far more work than the Christmas ones, no one was prepared for the myriad of essays they were to write within the two weeks without classes.
"This is bloody ridiculous!" Sirius complained as he plopped himself face forward on his bed. "Three feet for History of Magic! Five for Transfiguration! Five for Charms, plus mastering the Tap-Dance charm for our exam. A bloody book of Astronomy questions to answer and study for our exam. Eight inches for Defense, and another four for Potions." He glanced at his roommates. "Did I miss anything?"
"Study for exams?" Peter asked, glumly. "Never mind that they're ages away."
"You forgot a six foot essay for Herbology," Remus pointed out. "I swear, if I ever become a teacher, I will never assign homework over the holidays."
"They might force you," Severus pointed out.
"Well, I'll assign something like one inch on your favorite dark creature," Remus amended.
James laughed. "You'll be the most popular in no time. Now, what do you want to teach?"
"Not Potions, as I'm no good at it, and that's Severus' job," he said, kindly. "Perhaps Charms? I'm rather good at that."
"More than rather good. You and Lily are the first to master the new charms Flitwick has us practice," James told him, with pride.
"Oh, well, you're hardly far behind," Remus said, turning rather red.
What no one was saying, not in front of Remus, that they had expected to have a lot more free time to work on the animagus process. They'd managed to gather a few books when he was out, as it was hardly something they could work on in front of him.
But the full moon corresponded with some of their Easter break, and they had hoped to set aside most of that time doing research.
The added homework was proving to make this very difficult.
"We just need a plan," Severus decided. "We have fourteen days before classes resume, and we ought to set aside a few hours each day for studying as well as the essays. Remus will be...transformed...on Thursday and Friday, and we know you won't be yourself until Sunday at the earliest. We won't do any essays then, just studying."
"It will give our poor hands a break," Sirius agreed. "All right, Sev. Why don't you set out the schedule, and we can start tomorrow?"
Severus agreed readily enough, and set to the task.
The first few days that followed passed quickly enough, with everyone writing their hands off-and going through more than one quill-on their numerous essays. However, that Thursday, there was owl post at breakfast for all of them.
Not just letters, either. Everyone received a parcel of similar sizes. James' was, of course, the largest, but not by a great deal.
"Bet it's sweets for Easter!" James said with enthusiasm, and it was only with great self-control that he opened his letter first. "Ha, I knew it! 'Dear James, We know how hard you have been working, and we are immensely proud of you. In celebration of Easter, and to fuel your studies, we're sending along some of your favorite sweets. We look forward to hearing all about your first year in a few months. In the meantime, we send all our love. (Oh, and Mum's adding in some kisses!) See you soon! Mum and Dad.'"
James grinned widely, almost the widest Severus had ever seen, and he knew his friend's happiness was only in part due to the abundance of sweets before him.
Severus remembered Sirius telling him, back when he had comforted him after his first Bogart nightmare, that they all got nightmares. How James' were related to letting down his parents.
The letter must have confirmed that he'd done no such thing. It must have filled him with a sense of relief unlike when Severus' mum had not been angry that he'd been Sorted into Gryffindor.
As it seemed they were taking turns, Peter went next, being on the other side of James. His letter was more of a card, but his mum wrote to him weekly, and he'd received a full length letter the previous day. He turned his attention to the sweets, and immediately ate a chocolate covered frog.
"Your go, Sirius," James instructed, then elbowed him a little. "Guess your parents got over your placement."
Sirius chuckled, then looked at his parcel and letter as though he'd only just realized it was there. A smile played at his lips as he opened the letter, it disappeared from his face.
"It's not from Mum or Dad. It's from my uncle Alphard. He's my favorite," Sirius added, quickly, "but if he took it upon himself to write and send a present, he likely feels really sorry for me. Not to mention that my parents still have their knickers in a bunch, and summer holidays are sure to be torture."
He swallowed, and tried to smile. "Shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, eh?"
James pulled Sirius into a long hug, and when he let go, Sirius was wiping at his face.
"Sorry, it's stupid. I should have known. Really, I should have. They're pure-blood jerks, the lot of them. 'Cept maybe my uncle and Andromeda, of course. But Cissy and Bella and Mum and Dad...they think that all that matters is blood and wealth, and in that order. Like it's something you choose, to be born into a wizarding family. Like it makes you bloody special or something!" Sirius was breathing hard, now, and James put an arm around his back. Began murmuring to him, and Sirius' face returned to normal. "Right. Who's next?"
"Severus is closest to you," Remus said, quietly. "But Sirius, you don't have to feel like you can't talk to us."
"Yeah, don't hold it in, mate, all right?" James put in, giving his friend a squeeze. "Your parents are rotten prats, and they're pants at parenting. Tell you what. You'll spend all summer with my family, and you can see how a proper wizarding family behaves. Hell," he added, "maybe they'll outright adopt you. Mum was always disappointed she couldn't give me a brother or sister, and I always wanted an older brother!"
Sirius' grin was real, now. "Yeah, all right. And any time I have to be at Grimmauld Place, I'll spend telling Reg about how great Gryffindor this. Merlin's eyes, wouldn't it be funny if he ended up here? He's really nice...bit of a follower, but not a bad kid."
"You bet!" James enthused.
Sirius nodded to Severus, who turned with some reluctance to his mum's letter.
As it was rather long, he read through it quickly, intending to give it more attention later. His mum wrote things rather similar to James' parents-she loved him, she was proud of him, and she looked forward to seeing him in a few months-but there was other news as well. She'd left the inn to work for the apothecary, which meant a considerable increase in pay, even accounting for rent and food. She had also made contact with her parents, and they had welcomed her back and were looking forward to meeting Severus. "Time, it seems, can indeed heal many wounds. I particularly regret some of my past decisions, dear Severus, because many of the things I had feared would never have come to pass." He supposed that meant that his grandparents wouldn't have forced his mum to have him Vanished before being born. How true was this? Were they only saying this because the only means of disposing of him would end you in Azkaban for life? Or, had she truly been too emotional and worried about something that her parents might have been angry and disappointed about, but ultimately accepted?
No one knew, least of all Severus. He felt a twinge of anxiety and pleasant anticipation at meeting his grandparents in a few months. Then, realizing that his friends' eyes were on him, he put aside the letter and opened his parcel. It included an assortment of sweets from Honeydukes as well as homemade treats, such as fudge brownies. Like Peter, he ate a piece of chocolate immediately, only to have another appear in its place.
He looked up, and saw that Sirius had mostly regained his cheerful countenance. James was still sitting closer to him than usual, although his hands were at his sides.
Remus took his turn, reading his letter and then focusing on his parcel. It consisted, of course, entirely of sweets of various types of chocolates.
"No surprise there," he said, with a grin.
"I expect they'll be gone before the end of the holiday," James teased, and Remus just chuckled.
The day that Remus left to transform, they set to work. The process was highly complex, as almost every book took great pains to emphasize. There were even graphic illustrations of transformations gone wrong, and witches and wizards stuck as half animals, half humans, until they could be restored by a Healer at St. Mungos.
This did little to deter them on their quest. James had suggested that they involve Lily, and far from dissuading them, she insisted on being included.
"Moony's going to have plenty of company if we can piece out the details," James had laughed.
"Moony?" they had echoed.
"If we become animagi, we will need nicknames. Remus' form comes out at full moon, so he's Moony. I expect we'll figure out ours once we know what they are. That will be the easy part," James had explained.
"Better than 'furry little problem,'" Peter had said, dryly.
"That's what he has. It's not really a nickname," Sirius had reminded him. "That stays."
While they did not make as much progress as they had hoped for, they learned that the first step was oddly deceptively simple.
Keep a mandrake root in your mouth for an entire month.
No, this would be far more difficult than mastering a first or second year spell.
It was almost a relief, for Severus at least, to return to essays and studying after Remus returned, looking more haggard than usual. The extra workload, most likely.
Lily had taken on an almost mother-hen role last time, making sure he ate, fluffing his pillows, and checking to make sure he was warm enough. Later in the evening, after he'd regained a small amount of energy, she took it upon herself to almost force-feed him several pieces of chocolate, and read a few chapters from one of her favorite books.
It was nearly the opposite of what Remus had asked his roommates to do, but the effect was a positive one. The chocolates brought some color back to his face, and he looked interested, transfixed even, as she read to him.
Remus did reject an offer of a game of Wizards Chess. Severus couldn't blame him, as the pieces could be loud and cantankerous.
Lily resumed her role as "temporary mum," as Remus teasingly referred to her. She'd taken the name in stride, with a laugh and a playful eye roll. While it took an extra day for Remus to recover, he was himself by the following Monday.
Sirius, on the other hand, was still smarting. He hid it during the day, although Severus wondered if his private chats with James involved more than a bit of venting about his family. Not that he wasn't justified in any anger he felt.
When Severus was returning to his bed on Tuesday night after having to use the loo, he heard crying. No, not just crying, but rather strangled sobs. It was clear, even through the closed curtains, where they were coming from.
A part of him wanted to ignore it and return to his bed. Who knew how Sirius would react to being confronted like that? But the memory came to mind of Sirius comforting him after his nightmares, and then the other memory of him and James. The boys-his friends-had been there for him. Had reassured him, held him, stayed with Severus for the rest of the night. He'd only felt so safe in his mum's arms before then.
No, he had to check on Sirius, at least.
"Sirius?" he asked, in between the sobs. "Can I open the curtains?"
Silence, and then the curtains opened.
Tentatively, he approached the bed. Sirius moved over, clearly giving him permission to take a seat next to him.
"Did I wake you?" Sirius asked, lighting his wand and pulling the curtains closed.
"No, I was already up. Had to use the loo," Severus explained.
Sirius nodded.
Severus shifted a bit closer. Physical comfort felt complicated. He could receive it all right, but it felt strange to offer Sirius a hug. Still, he ought to ask...
"Er, can I give you a hug?"
Sirius nodded once more, and Severus reached out and placed his arms around his back. Sirius squeezed back, emphatically, and then the sobs started up again. Severus began to run a hand along his back in a circular motion, the way his mum so often did. Sirius left out a small murmur, so Severus continued for a few minutes longer.
He was still a bit relieved when Sirius broke off the hug.
"Stay with me a bit?" he asked, voice shaky.
"Sure. Er, shall I fetch my mum's blanket?"
Sirius barked a laugh. "Definitely."
Severus left then, and returned with the blanket as well as the container of sweets. Because of his mum's charm, it was still full.
Sirius perked up a bit, but then the tears fell once more. Severus wrapped the blanket around them, glad it was large enough to fully envelope them (and others) in its warmth. Sirius took a chocolate frog and bit into its head first. He leaned against Severus, who wrapped an arm around him.
It was easier, this time.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
Sirius shrugged. "I should have expected this, the way my family goes on. But I thought...being the oldest...and being close to Uncle Alphard...they would have gotten their knickers un bunched by now. Sure, I am the first Black not to be in Slytherin for probably a century, and yes, it's Gryffindor and not even Ravenclaw...although you bet there would have been a Howler even then," Sirius added, taking another frog. "I just reckoned they'd have relented a bit by now."
He sighed, and Severus didn't know what to say.
"Perhaps, once you're at home?" he offered, lamely.
Another shrug. "I'm not getting my hopes up, Sev."
"I'm sorry."
Sirius took a deep, measured breath. "I sometimes fantasize about hexing them. Not that I could do that many. Well, the leg-locker and full-body bind. But they'd undo it in a second." He laughed a bit. "Love to cover them with boils. I mean, everywhere. So they couldn't even go to the loo without agony."
Severus snickered. "They deserve worse."
"Oh, don't I know it." Sirius' voice was hard. "Way worse. Too bad it won't happen."
Severus ran his hand over Sirius' back again as he gnawed on a third frog. "You heard James. You can stay with him. Me, too, if you like. Mum wants me to be able to have my friends over. She's really nice, too. I reckon you'll like her."
"Thanks, Sev." Silence. Then, "I just wish mine weren't such bloody pure-blood purist gits."
"Me too," Severus said, simply.
Sirius handed him the full parcel. "I'll wake up with a massive stomachache if I eat any more."
"All right," Severus agreed, taking the parcel, and rising.
Feeling as though he'd been dismissed.
"Come back, all right?" Sirius grinned. "I'm keeping the blanket for tonight, and I reckon it stays with you."
Severus snorted. "Perhaps I should charm it so it stays with me."
"Don't you dare!" Sirius threatened, but he was grinning.
Moments later, they were curled up together under the covers, but feeling extra warm by the blanket.
When Severus woke up the next day beside Sirius, he felt confused, wondering if he'd had another nightmare. Then, he recalled his friend's sobs, and felt even more confused. Should he leave? Would Sirius be offended if he did?
Better to stay put. He lay still on his side, focusing on remembering the Transfiguration notes he'd rewritten that previous night. He'd learned early on that he learned best by copying his notes over and over until they remained in his head. Transfiguration was certainly his most difficult lesson, although it was almost easy for James and certainly didn't require as much effort from Sirius.
The latter of whom stirred in his sleep, stretched, and rolled over, nearly knocking Severus off the bed.
Sirius reddened as he grabbed his friend's hand, pulling him over a few inches. "Sorry 'bout that."
"It's all right," Severus answered, managing a smile as he sat up. "You...all right?"
Sirius shrugged, pulling the blankets over them. "Well. My parents are still prats."
Severus nodded. "They've no right to treat you like that."
Another shrug. "I reckon that ordinary rules and standards are beneath them. Blacks have our own rules, and all that nonsense."
"Will you be all right? With them all summer?" Severus asked, before he could stop himself.
"Oh, they won't kill me, and I don't think they'll hurt me. Nothing that lasts long enough to show, anyway. Nothing that I'm not used to," Sirius answered, almost flippantly. At Severus' stare, he added, "Your father wasn't the only one who beat you, Sev. Mine just used magic so it didn't show."
"Stinging hexes?" Severus guessed.
"More like bloody hurts like hell hexes, but it was likely the spell he used. Or Mum. Or Kreacher," Sirius added. "He's one of our house elves. Absolutely devoted to my parents, 'specially my mum. And house elves have serious magic on their own, so if she sent him to punish me, it would hurt way worse than anything they'd use."
"What are you two talking about?" James asked, opening the curtain.
"Sirius' beatings. Well, the magical kind," Severus explained.
James sat next to his best friend, making himself at home under the covers. "Like I said, you're not going to spend much time at home, all right? I sent my mum an owl last night, asking if you could come over for the holiday." He grinned. "She never says no to me. Even Dad rarely does."
"Still have to get their permission," Sirius pointed out.
"Ah, but that's where wizarding politics come in. Now, I know, we're not part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, but Mum and Dad do have a bit of influence in the Ministry. 'Sides, Dad created that hair potion. Not that you need it," he added, tousling Sirius' hair. "And they go to all of the balls and stuff every year, doing their part to mingle in pure-blood society. Trust me. They can't say no. Even if you can't spend the entire holiday, you'll see me so often you'll get sick of me."
Sirius grinned.
"And you're invited as well, Severus," James added, glancing at him, and smiling.
"My mum might prefer you to come over to...wherever we end up living," Severus pointed out. "I don't know where that is in Hogsmeade, yet. It likely won't be very large."
"It's Hogsmeade. And we'll be there a year before the rest of our class!" James reminded him, now grinning. "Besides, we don't care about what your new place looks like."
"Unless there are rats inside," Sirius teased. "That's where I draw the line."
"Mum's notoriously clean," Severus reassured them.
"Brilliant. See, Sirius? It will all work out!"
Sirius nodded, then gave a real smile. "Sev will have to give us the grand tour of the village."
Notes:
Up next: Exams are never fun, even when you've done little but spend the last couple of months studying. And the animagus process begins...sort of.
As always, helpful/constructive feedback would be most welcome! That being said, I have my pairings set in stone, so I don't need any ideas for that!
Chapter 38
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Even though they weren't truly spending every moment outside of lessons preparing for exams, it felt to Severus as though this was the case. He was hardly the only one, either. Their teachers kept impressing upon them the importance of doing well, with the cautionary addition that exams would only become more difficult each year.
"Can you believe we have to add on at least two classes in our third year?" Peter complained, after their latest Charms lesson.
Even Flitwick, who was generally mild-mannered and easygoing, had cautioned them at the end of their lesson that he hoped they were studying hard.
"Let's worry about getting through this one," Remus answered, evenly enough.
Sirius snorted. "D'you really think they'll hold you back if you don't score high enough?"
"Yes!" everyone answered.
Severus cleared his throat. "We have to score high enough to pass all around," he began, "but scoring poorly on one or two lessons won't be enough to hold you back. Not if you've made up for it in others."
"Well," Lily put in angrily, having just joined their group, "I think the whole thing is ridiculous."
"How do you mean, Lily?" Remus asked, evenly.
Severus tried not to roll his eyes. He'd heard her rant about this before.
"We're eleven and twelve years old. We shouldn't have hours of homework or studying to do in a single night to prepare for some stupid exams," she began, placing her hands on her hips. As though Severus and his friends were the reason behind exams. "I'm not against the idea of an evaluation, or requiring students to put in a few hours of study for it. But you can bet that muggles starting secondary aren't putting in the study for their end of terms that we are."
"They're not witches and wizards," James pointed out, grinning.
Lily glared at him. "All the more reason not to make us go nutters studying before we've started out second year!"
"Think the teachers are doing it for fun?" Peter asked, and Severus could tell that he wasn't joking. "It's always easier to grade a test than to take it. They know the answers and all that."
She sighed. "I suppose," she said, with great reluctance, "that they have to report to the headmaster, who has to report to the school board. Yes, Black, I know about the school board!" she added, catching his look of surprised. "I may be muggle-born, but I'm not ignorant!"
"No one ever said you were, Lily. Just that most pure-bloods don't know about the board of governors right off the bat," Sirius explained, taking a step back from her.
Lily rolled her eyes. "It's all in 'Hogwarts, a History.'"
"Which virtually no one reads cover to cover," a new voice piped up, followed by a familiar face.
Severus smiled at his new friend, Charity Burbage, who returned it easily.
They'd been assigned to work together the previous week, and it had gone as well as the first time. However, he didn't know if she was friends with Lily, and if they weren't friends, Severus would have felt odd striking up a conversation with her outside of class.
"They ought to, Charity. It's incredibly interesting," Lily answered, earnestly.
"I'd know, as I suggested you borrow it from the library...what was that...three months ago?" Charity asked, then elbowed Lily teasingly.
"Oh, I purchased my own copy since then," Lily explained. "With all of this studying, I'd never get through it."
Severus hid a sigh. What good did complaining about work ever do?
"It is more than I had expected," Charity agreed, and the group headed away from the Charms classroom. "Grace told me they were awful, but I thought she was exaggerating. She'd also told me that the Sorting Hat liked to pull your hair, and I now know that's not true."
"Ouch!" Lily glanced at Severus. "Thanks for not lying to me about that, Sev."
"You make it sound as though I told you loads of other lies," he retorted, without thinking.
"You did try to get her Sorted into Slytherin," James piped up. "That would have gone terribly for both of you."
"And for us," Sirius added, "since we could never be friends with Slytherins."
The hurt must have shown on Severus' face, because Sirius quickly put an arm around his shoulders in a rather jovial manner. "Good thing you came to your senses, eh?"
Well, yes. Severus couldn't deny this sentiment.
"My mum thinks the sorting system occurs far too early," Charity mused. "She thinks if we spent a year or two without a house, just divided up into rooms randomly, it would be far better."
"What do other schools do?" Severus asked, glancing around at the faces of his friends.
James shrugged. "Dunno. My parents only ever considered Hogwarts for me. I expect that the other schools do some kind of Sorting ceremony, y'know? It's more theatrical than just putting kids into random houses."
"I'm fairly certain that Durmstrang has houses and a Sorting," Sirius put in. "A couple of my distant relatives went there, but the Black family likes to keep their kids close by. Easier to keep tabs on them, make sure they're not falling astray of the Black values."
James gave Sirius a little shove. "Hasn't worked with you, has it?"
Sirius grinned.
Charity's face registered confusion, and Severus immediately filled her in.
"No Black before Sirius has been Sorted anywhere except Slytherin," he explained.
"And my parents still haven't forgiven me for it," Sirius added, looking rather glum. "Summer holidays are going to be murder..."
"That's if we survive exams," Lily said, sourly. "Three weeks left of studying, then a week of exams, then another week of classes before the farewell Feast and the awarding of the House Cup."
"We'll survive," Remus assured her-and, by extension-everyone else. "And we'll receive good marks. We've been studying hard enough, and half of the teachers have told us what's on the exam."
This was true. Flitwick had said that they would be provided a pineapple apiece, and were expected to make it tap-dance across his desk. McGonagall would have them turn mice into snuffboxes. Slughorn, of course, had told them they were to create a Forgetfulness potion on their own. Sprout had heavily hinted at the plants they would be expected to grow during their one-hour exam. Defense would consist of a part written exam, followed by a practical. The only exams that would be nearly encompassing of what they had studied over the year were History of Magic and Astronomy.
Really, it could be far worse, and if the Gryffindors preparing to take their OWLs could hear Lily complaining, they likely would have rolled their eyes and reminisced about their first-year examinations.
"I'm still going to give stony looks to all of the teachers on the day of," she determined. "Maybe before then, too."
"Even Flitwick?" Severus couldn't help but ask, and didn't bother hiding a smile.
Lily thrived in Charms, and Flitwick positively adored her. If teachers had pets, Lily was surely his.
"Maybe not him," she allowed, with a small smile.
In the end, they continued to attend their lessons, study for exams during all of their afternoons, and into the evenings. No one, least of all Severus, was willing to pull what muggle students call an "all-nighter." Each night, they went to bed at a reasonable hour, woke up at the same time as usual, and the whole process repeated itself.
The timetables their heads of houses provided showed that each day would consist of an exam in the morning, a longer than usual lunch break, and a lesson in the afternoon. As all first years were in seven classes, and there was only to be one exam per day, the exam "week" began the Thursday that they'd considered to be the final week of lessons, and continuing through the next week.
"At least we have a break, with the weekend," Peter noted, smiling as he looked up from his new timetable.
"Some break!" Lily said bitterly. Then, she added, "But I suppose it's better than exams on Saturday or Sunday."
To Severus, they seemed to fly as quickly as the rest of his first year. He also nearly breezed through them, finding that even Astronomy and History of Magic were not nearly as difficult as he'd expected. All the same, he knew that he'd received full marks in Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. The only exam he'd been apprehensive about was Transfiguration, although McGonagall had provided them with opportunities to practice beforehand, and she'd offered the use of mice for anyone who wished to visit her office (during office hours) and receive further practice. Severus had managed several rather lovely snuffboxes that he wouldn't have hesitated to give to his mum as a present-but that was practice, and he was not being evaluated on the end result.
Fortunately, ample amounts of practice and study had paid off, and his blue snuffbox with a long, pale yellow ribbon produced an approving nod and-perhaps-the ghost of a smile.
It was rather a shame that he wouldn't be allowed to keep it.
After each exam, his friends compared results. While no one wished to go through the written tests question by question, there were some that came up. Generally, everyone had put down the same answer, and agreed that it had been the correct one. As for the practical exams, no one (except maybe Peter) struggled there, having spent so much time preparing.
Severus had been rather disappointed, when they showed up for their Potions exam, that it was not entirely without aid. Slughorn did provide the ingredients they would require, although not in the quantities they would need. A few instructions appeared on the board at various points. Severus didn't blame the teacher for providing aid, but it rather went against what he'd told them several weeks earlier-you couldn't rely on having a book in front of you at all times.
Perhaps, there had been complaints from parents, and he'd been forced to forgo making his first year students memorize everything for the time being. Then again, that may have been his plan all along.
As that exam was their final one, Slughorn cleared his throat after announcing the end of the exam.
"I realize that we're due to have a lesson after lunch," he began, "but house duties have rendered that impossible. Therefore, I am releasing you to your weekend a few hours earlier than you might have expected." There was some cheering, and Slughorn continued, smiling broadly, "I also wish to congratulate you upon the completion of your first end of term exams."
Even more cheering resounded, and much louder.
"Well, that wasn't so bad," Peter said, as they walked towards to Great Hall. "The weekend's here, no more exams, and even Slughorn's wasn't too awful."
The other boys agreed, and Severus wisely kept quiet about his thoughts regarding the exam.
Lily was with her usual group of friends, and looking far more cheerful than he'd seen her since before the Easter holidays. She gave them wide grins before turning back to her conversation with another Gryffindor, Dorcas.
Severus ate automatically, an idea coming to mind as he chewed. James and Sirius were talking about spending the afternoon outside, maybe taking a swim in the lake, and Remus and Peter seemed in favor of this idea.
"What about you, Sev?" Sirius asked. "Fancy a lazy afternoon outside?"
"Sure," he said, simply, as he finished his meal.
If his response seemed short, the other said nothing. Once they'd finished eating, they picked up their bags and began walking. Severus hesitated. If he was going to do this, now would be the best time.
Before he lost his nerve.
"You coming with us?" Sirius asked, and Severus realized his friends were several yards ahead of him.
"You go ahead," he assured them. "I have...something I have to do."
Remus gave him a puzzled look, as did James, but Peter was either oblivious or trying to be. Sirius, on the other hand, gave him a look that said Severus was hardly fooling anyone.
Severus headed in the opposite direction, feeling his face burn. He didn't want to make any of them angry at him, or keep secrets, but this might be his only chance at getting his scars looked at before the end of the year. Classes resumed next week, after all, and he had no idea how Madam Pomfrey would react to his coming to the infirmary for mere scars during the weekend. Not even dark magic scars, at that.
Then, they'd be going home. And while Severus had waited this long, he suddenly didn't want to return home with the marks of his father on his back. Not if he could help it.
He strode on with purpose, not stopping even when a hand appeared on his shoulder.
Notes:
Any guesses who the hand belongs to? :)
Next up: A physical transformation, and perhaps a mental one? (I've already finished this chapter, but I want to wait a few days before posting it. It's one of my favorites so far.)
As always, helpful/constructive feedback (NOT related to pairings!) would be much appreciated!
Chapter 39
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus turned, not at all surprised to see Sirius standing there.
His face was scrunched up in concern, and Severus immediately felt a pang of guilt flow over him.
"Hey. Are you all right? I reckon you almost fled from us as soon as lunch was over," Sirius asked, gently.
It reminded Severus of how he spoke to Remus after he returned from his monthly transformations.
Severus shook his head, then forced himself to take a few deep breaths. It was suddenly very hard to breathe. Was this what a panic attack felt like? Or, perhaps, panic overall? Sirius, thankfully, led him into an empty classroom, and made him sit down. Then, after pulling a chair next to Severus and sitting down, Sirius placed an arm around his shoulders in a steadying fashion.
"Easy," Sirius murmured, running his hand around Severus' back, making small circles. "Take your time. Don't rush it."
Severus nodded, forcing himself to inhale, then exhale. Slowly. Repeatedly. All the while, Sirius kept one arm around him, and made soothing circles with his free hand. Severus found himself leaning against his friend's shoulder, and forced himself upright.
"I don't mind being a pillow," Sirius joked. "But if you're that tired, I reckon we ought to get you to the tower."
"It's not that," Severus protested, although waves of tiredness were beginning to creep in. "I'm not ill. Or tired."
Well, not very. Not enough to keep him from visiting the hospital wing. All the same, he couldn't deny that he could use a good, long rest. Lily had been right. Over the past few months, there had been far too much studying, too many exams, and too much stress overall. What were their teachers playing at? They were kids, first year students at that.
He forced himself to stay alert.
"I was going to head to Madam Pomfrey's," he continued, chancing a look at Sirius. "To see if she could fix my scars and my burns. I figured with Slughorn canceling today's lesson, now was the best time."
Understanding seemed to dawn in Sirius' face. "And you didn't want us going with you, eyeballing you and all that. Especially..."
If she couldn't do anything about it.
Severus gave a half nod.
"Tell you what? I'll make sure you make it to the hospital wing, and then I'll join the others. Let them know you're all right, and we'll likely see you later." Sirius paused. "I can say you were tired? That you wanted a lie down?"
Tempting as Sirius' offer was, Severus found that he didn't want his friend to go. Sirius had, after all, been the first person to see the scars. He'd shown Severus more understanding, more compassion, than he could have hoped for at the time.
They were no longer enemies, but Severus hadn't considered Sirius a friend. Yet.
"If you want to come with me...if you don't mind..." Severus trailed off. "I mean, only if you want to."
He felt Sirius pull him into a firm hug. "Of course I'll join you, Sev."
They separated from the hug after a few moments, and left the classroom. Sirius didn't put his arm around Severus' shoulders while they walked, for which he was grateful, but Severus felt as though he was standing closer than usual than usual.
Then, they were outside of the hospital wing.
It wasn't exactly empty, but as far as Severus could see, the only other students present were sleeping. Upon seeing them, Madam Pomfrey immediately crossed the distance between then, her robes billowing out behind her as she walked.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Black and Mr. Snape." She gave them a once over, and upon seeing no visible injuries, she added, "What seems to be the trouble?"
Her tone was brisk, but hardly unkind. Severus stepped forward, just a bit, just enough to make it known that he was the one who needed treatment.
"I have a muggle father," he began, and felt Sirius' hand on his back once more, "although my mum's not married to him anymore. She left him after I started school, and neither of us see him anymore." Best to let her know that straight away. "While growing up," Severus continued, haltingly, "he often beat me, on my back, rather badly. Often. Burned me, too. I have no mobility issues, but I was wondering...if you could possibly do anything to remove the scarring."
Madam Pomfrey's face had darkened when he mentioned the beatings and the burns, but it resumed a neutral stance by the time he'd finished speaking.
"I don't believe that will be problem," she began, "but I'll need to examine you to be sure. You'll have to disrobe for that, and for the treatment."
"Entirely?" Severus asked, feeling his face burning.
Madam Pomfrey flicked her wand, and a long white cloth flew across the room and into her hands. She handed it to Severus. "You can wrap this around your pants and legs. It's only the back that needs treatment?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"I'll wait while you change," she promised, and flicked her wand to bring down a curtain, which separated Severus and Sirius from her.
"Er, do you mind turning away?" Severus asked Sirius.
"Not a problem."
Sirius turned, and Severus undressed quickly, taking more time to get on the bed and wrap the cloth around his waist as he would a towel.
Once Severus was ready, Sirius pulled back the curtain, and the matron whispered if she ought to dismiss Sirius, or if Severus would prefer him to remain.
"I'd like him to stay," Severus answered, and Madam Pomfrey nodded before having his friend stand at his side.
"I'm going to perform some diagnostic spells on your back, just to be certain," Madam Pomfrey informed him. "It won't hurt."
Then, Severus felt the not painful poking of her wand on various areas of his back and his neck before she told him to sit up. He readjusted the cloth so that it would not become loose, still feeling very exposed.
"I can easily remove the scars and the burns," she told him, gently. "It won't take but an hour. And no, it won't hurt, although it will feel rather cold when I apply the salve."
Relief filled Severus. He could have managed pain, but not even that? Just a chill? That would be nothing.
"Will you use the same salve for both?"
"No. I'll apply a scar-removal salve to your back, and a burn-removal salve to your neck," Madam Pomfrey explained. "Just once-I won't require you to come back. Although, if you find any areas I missed, you're welcome to." At Sirius' look of bemusement she added, "I very rarely make mistakes, Mr. Black, but I provide warning in the unlikely event it occurs."
"Can you do it now?" Severus asked. "Or do I need to return, once the salves are ready?"
"No need for that. I always have a fresh supply on hand," she assured him. "Just lay down on your back once more, and I'll fetch the salves and begin. It won't take but a moment."
"Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am," he answered.
He readjusted the cloth so that it covered his pants and his legs before laying on his stomach. Sirius moved so that he was next to him, and extended a hand.
"Just in case it stings," he explained. "Grab it as tight as you need to, all right?"
Severus nodded, managing a smile, grateful that Sirius had followed him.
The matron returned, and gave him a warning that the coldness would begin in a few seconds. As she counted down, Severus prepared himself for something like ice water, but only a pleasant cooling sensation followed.
They'd worked with plants-Severus couldn't remember their names offhand-that breathed fire as adults, and steam as babies. Of course, being first-years, they'd only worked with the babies. It had been nearly impossible to avoid being burnt, so Professor Sprout had made sure they worked with buckets of ice water nearby.
This sensation was rather similar to that. Not that his skin had felt like it was on fire and it was being treated, but the salve had a similar cooling effect. Really, it was almost relaxing, and Severus soon found himself in a sleepy, almost dreamlike, state.
"Very good," Madam Pomfrey declared, after some amount of time had passed. "Time for the burn salve."
"Will that hurt?" Sirius asked, for which Severus was grateful.
He was still too hazy to think clearly, let alone speak.
"No, it will feel the same as the salve for scars." A pause, and then she added, "As you're already here, would you mind lifting up Mr. Snape's hair? The salve won't hurt his hair, but better to avoid getting hair mixed up with it, if we can."
"Sure." Sirius gave Severus' hand a squeeze, and then lifted up his near mane. "Someone needs a haircut," Sirius teased.
"Like you can talk. Your hair's nearly as long as mine," Severus retorted.
Sirius snickered. "Precisely. I'll likely have mine cut off as soon as I arrive at home. By Kreacher, no less."
The image of the hated house-elf holding his friend down while chopping away at his hair with scissors came to mind, and Severus flinched.
"Hurts?" Sirius asked, softly.
"No. Thinking of Kreacher hurting you," he explained.
"Naw, he wouldn't unless under orders," Sirius reassured him.
Severus hardly felt reassured.
Then, the countdown began, and the familiar cold formed at his neck. This felt rather pleasant, even more so than before. Well, these scars had been caused by heat, and he supposed that the magical salve drew out whatever heat remained, as well as the scars Tobias Snape had inflicted on him. Besides, with Madam Pomfrey's hands applying the salve to his neck and rubbing it in, Severus rather felt like he was receiving a neck massage.
Before long, the second part was over, and Madam Pomfrey was helping him up, and then urging him to look at himself in a full-length mirror.
Severus stared at his back and neck, now fully awake and rather shocked. He'd started receiving the beatings that led to the scars from an early age, no later than six. While they had multiplied over the years, he could hardly remember a time when he hadn't had any scars. But there he was. His back was, mercifully, magically, free from any marks caused by a belt or a candle's flame. It looked the same way his arms and hands did.
He looked normal.
He looked...human.
Severus suddenly realized that he would no longer have to hide his back from anyone. Not when he changed his clothes in the Gryffindor dormitory, or after he showered in their bathroom.
Because there was no longer anything to hide.
His vision blurred, and he wiped away at his eyes. "Thank you, Madam Pomfrey," he whispered.
The matron put a hand on his shoulder, then handed him his robes.
"The damage was quite substantial," the matron told him, softly. "Thank Merlin, it was only muggle damage, and not dark magic. Mr. Snape, you're certain that your father will no longer be a part of your life?"
"Yes, ma'am. Very certain," he answered, with a nod.
She returned the nod. "I am required to make a note in your file, but unless he returns, I will not report it. You must tell me if he does, even if he doesn't hurt you."
"I will," Severus promised. "Thank you."
Reporting it could draw unnecessary attention to his mother. After all, she was a witch, and could have protected him from these beatings. The Ministry hardly forbade the marriage between muggles and magical folk, but there were universal expectations that parents (especially magical ones) would keep their children safe from abuse.
Eileen had failed to live up to her obligation, even if she hadn't been living in the wizarding world at the time, and Severus had been the one to pay the price.
Severus tried not to think about this too much. Tobias was gone, and he was finally without any scars.
Now, he could finally get a shorter haircut.
Severus and Sirius left the hospital wing together, and headed back outside. Severus was suddenly exhausted, but he wanted to see his friends after having dismissed them earlier.
Besides, he could always take a nap on the grassy area.
They looked relieved to see him, and even though they didn't ask, Severus told them the truth as he took a seat on a large red blanket.
"I had the scars and burns removed," he explained. "By Madam Pomfrey."
"That's great!" James cheered. "Knew you'd do it eventually, Sev."
Remus rolled his eyes at James' complete lack of tact. "I'm happy for you, Severus."
"Me too," Peter piped up.
"Thanks. Sorry I didn't explain earlier," Severus added, stretching out on the blanket, not entirely unlike before.
"I was worried you were angry with us," James admitted, laying next to Severus. "But Sirius figured he knew why you'd run off."
"Well, I am a bone fide genius," Sirius boasted. "And an excellent judge of character."
"You called me Snivellus on the train!" Severus protested.
"I never said I was right all of the time," Sirius amended.
"And I reckon you've made it for it," Severus allowed.
"Generous of you," James laughed. "Not sure I'd be so kind if Sirius gave me that sort of nickname. I'd likely give him one that was just as bad."
Severus shrugged, closing his eyes. "I don't have that kind of creative mind."
"You're creative, just not cruel," Sirius explained. "And before you protest, yes, I was being cruel then."
"Ancient history," Severus insisted, rolling over on his back, eyes still closed.
He felt Sirius squeeze his shoulder, and then sleep overtook him.
Notes:
Next up: Exam results, making summer plans, and Severus realizing that living in Hogsmeade has some disadvantages.
As always, constructive feedback would be much appreciated!
Chapter 40
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus slept for a couple of hours, and when he rose, he felt rather relieved to find that he hadn't been the only one. Remus, who had returned to his human form mere days before exams started, was still sound asleep. Peter's eyes were also closed as he lay on the blanket, but this didn't necessarily mean that he was asleep. James and Sirius, on the other hand, were wide awake, laying on their stomachs as they quietly conversed with each other.
"And my dad said that we'll be taking our usual summer holiday to the beach, only it will be three weeks this time instead of two. Mum wants it to be just us for a week, unless your family lets you come for the full time, and then everyone else is invited for the last two," James was saying. "It's smaller than our manor, with only six bedrooms, but I reckon we'll want to share a room or two."
"If they'll let me go," Sirius responded, rather glumly.
"They will. Didn't I tell you? Dad already sent an owl to your parents to officially invite you. They responded by inviting me over to Grimmauld Place for two weeks, beginning the second week of July." James grinned.
This was evidently news to Sirius, who perked up considerably. "Really?"
James nodded. "Yeah! So, even if you have to spend some time with them, you'll be with us for at least three weeks. And they might let you visit Severus or Remus, too."
Severus cleared his throat, just so they were aware that he was awake. His mum had written two weeks ago, asking him for ideas for his summer holidays. She'd agreed to host his friends for at least two weeks, although she preferred it not to be at the beginning of the summer.
And, of course, there'd been the news (which hadn't really been news) that she'd pick him up at Hogsmeade, instead of at King's Cross.
Severus wouldn't be joining his friends on the train.
"Hello, sleepyhead!" James teased, scooting over closer to him. "Have a good rest?"
Severus nodded. He had slept better in the few hours than he had in weeks.
"What have you been up to while we were asleep?" he asked, nodding in the direction of the other Gryffindors.
"Let's see." James scrunched up his face. "First, we were talking about how to make exams more bearable next term."
"I suggested a full-body bind on the teachers starting before the Easter holidays," Sirius put in, "but James the spoilsport pointed out that would likely get us expelled."
"Or lose about a thousand points apiece," Severus added, with a smirk.
"Which would be even worse," James agreed, grinning. "We thought that it we started studying a month or so earlier, we could space out the studying and manage to have some free time between Easter and when exams start."
"I suggested we ask all the teachers for the Easter assignments when the year started," Sirius put in. "Because it's mostly essays, and they were meant to get us ready for studying for the exams. Some of the material was as old as the Christmas holidays."
"And it's not as though we can't work ahead," James reasoned. "So, we're going to ask for the work ahead of time at the beginning of next year. Well," he added, "maybe a month or so into the term."
Severus was impressed. "That's not a bad idea. Think they'll agree?"
"If even half of them do, it will mean a lot less work come Easter," James reminded him. "I reckon they won't take points for asking."
Severus nodded, agreeing with the reasoning. "I know OWLs are a long way off, but I expect we could apply the same logic there."
"Sure, and there are practice OWL tests we can borrow from the library. Dad says he started those in his fourth year. Made his fifth one a lot more bearable," James said, smiling. "Mind, I'm not saying that we should do nothing but work..."
"But spacing it out would be loads better than the few months we endured," Severus finished for him.
"Precisely."
"It will also," Sirius added, in a lowered voice, "give us more time to help Remus. By becoming animagi."
"We did rather lose a lot of ground on that," Severus admitted. "We could have completed the mandrake step, at least."
"Yeah, and there's no way we'd be able to do that at home," James added, with a sigh. "So, first thing as soon as we get back. Get loads of mandrake leaves and figure out how to keep them in our mouths for thirty days."
Severus thought about this for a minute. "How about a Sticking charm? A good one can last twenty-four hours."
Sirius and James both stared at him.
"Sev, that's brilliant!" Sirius murmured, giving him a light slap on the back.
"Really, it is!" James added, his voice just as quiet, but no less intense. "We could have that step completed by October."
Severus felt his face turn red. "Er, thanks. But that's just the first step. Of many, I reckon."
Remus stirred, then, and they were forced to change the subject.
"My mum wrote. I'm, er, not taking the train back," Severus said, quietly. "Because we live in Hogsmeade."
The others nodded, looking rather sympathetic.
"I understand why," Severus added, quickly. "It's silly for her to make the trip to King's Cross when she doesn't have to."
All the same, he felt rather disappointed. The train ride to school hadn't exactly been a fond memory, and certainly hadn't begun that way, but it hadn't gone so badly in the end. If he and Lily hadn't met Remus, hadn't shared his compartment, he likely would have forged ahead and become a Slytherin. Lily, of course, would still be in Gryffindor. They might not be friends after that, and he might have James and Sirius as enemies.
Remus had changed that. Had made Severus consider other possibilities. He couldn't imagine he would have been as happy in Slytherin as he had been in Gryffindor, and he was certain that his mum would have stayed with her husband.
"You'll be on the train on September first, right?" Remus asked. "That's the way everyone arrives to Hogwarts."
Severus nodded, grateful for this. "Yes, Mum's going to take me to King's Cross then."
"And we'll see you during the summer," Remus put in, smiling at him.
"Mum wants you all to come over at some point," Severus agreed. "Not at the beginning, perhaps near the beginning of August."
"It would need to begin on the second week, with our family beach trip," James pointed out. "Of course, you're invited, Sev."
He grinned. "I've never been to the beach."
"It's brilliant. So many seashells, amazing waves. A bit cold, but a Heating charm warms you right up." James smiled, warmly. "Mum always makes hot chocolate when Dad and I come inside."
"She doesn't go in the water with you?" Sirius asked.
"She'll dip her toes in, and when I was a kid, she'd help me make sandcastles. Says she gets cold too easily to go much past her toes," James explained. "It's loads of fun. Be even better if you're there."
"My mum and dad might let me visit, as long as it's not near a full moon," Remus said, slowly.
James shook his head. "I checked the full moon chart. The first one is at the beginning of July. Not that Mum and Dad know about your lycanthropy," he added, "but if they did, they'd schedule your invitation around that."
Remus smiled. "Have you told your families?"
"I haven't told my mum," Severus admitted. "I'd rather avoid her knowing for as long as I can, just in case."
Remus nodded, a bit uneasily.
"My parents would campaign to have you expelled, and even my uncle would likely take their side on it," Sirius said, bitterly. "Mind, he would approach it from an 'accidents happen and we don't want to risk it, especially around the heir' perspective."
Remus sighed. "Well, your acceptance is more than I could have hoped for."
James edged over and pulled him into a hug. "As long as I can keep calling it your furry little problem in public."
"Sure, and make it sound as though I own a deranged rabbit," Remus quipped.
"Or a cat. They can be quite badly behaved, not that I know from experience," Severus mused. "Any animal with fur can be a problem, I expect."
Snickers followed this remark, and Peter rose shortly afterwards.
The weekend was blissfully relaxing, with no more exams to study for, and not a single assignment to complete. Of course, they were a bit anxious about how well they had performed on their exams, but there was no point in worrying now. A week from Monday, the results would be in, and they'd face the music then.
Lessons started up again on Monday, but this was mostly a way for the teachers to assign the summer assignments. This news received numerous groans, especially by Lily and her friends, because hadn't they just spent the last few months studying for tests?
Really, it wasn't so bad. Not every teacher gave assignments-Binns, Sinistra, Virgil, and Sprout being the ones who evidently believed that the summer holidays should be just that.
The outliers were Flitwick, McGonagall, and Slughorn, and no amount of dark murmurs or groans could dissuade them. Each assigned essays to complete, but the essays were to be much shorter than the ones they had been required to complete over the Easter holidays. Severus reckoned he could finish everything before the end of the first week of holidays.
The last Quidditch match of the year was Ravenclaw against Slytherin. Although Slytherin won by a narrow margin-their Chasers played very dirty-the Ravenclaw Seeker caught the Snitch about a half-hour into the match. Even with their win, Slytherin had not scored enough points to give them a lead in the House Cup rankings.
The morning before the Farewell Feast, envelopes arrived at the Great Hall containing the Hogwarts crest.
"That would be our exam results," James noted, grabbing his and staring at it.
"I thought exam results were posted outside the Great Hall," Severus mused, picking his own up.
"They did that before Dumbledore took over as Headmaster," James explained, removing his sheet of paper. "Guess he figured not everyone would want everyone else to see how well or badly they did."
"Good thing, too," Lily said, picking up hers with the caution of one having received a Howler. "I'd rather not have the entire school know how I made out."
Severus nodded, then removed his envelop and scanned his own marks.
Severus Snape, first year student
House: Gryffindor
Head of House: Professor Minerva McGonagall
Examination results for Spring Term
Astronomy: 97%
Charms: 102%
Defense Against the Dark Arts: 110%
History of Magic: 96%
Herbology: 100%
Potions: 115%
Transfiguration: 99%
He let out a deep breath. His lowest mark had been in History of Magic (he'd likely messed up the names of two goblins), and three of his results were over the 100% mark. He had no idea what he had missed in Transfiguration, but he certainly wasn't going to waste time worrying.
On the whole, he thought he'd done well. Very well.
"Anyone want to share results?" James asked, grinning widely as he held up his own exam.
Severus glanced around the table. Everyone seemed happy with their results.
"Suppose we give our papers to the person to the right, and keep that up until we've received our own back?" Sirius offered.
No one objected, so Severus soon found himself looking at Lily's results. Nothing below a 95 (that was in History of Magic), but her highest mark was a 125% in Charms. Like him, she'd scored over 100% in Potions.
Sirius and James both received full marks in Transfiguration and Potions, and nearly that in everything else. Nothing above 100%, but nothing below a 96%.
Remus' grades were slightly lower, with his lowest being an 85% in Potions. He did receive full marks in Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts, and a 99% in Charms. Everything else was in the low to mid 90's.
Peter's were the lowest, although hardly poor. His highest scores (95 and 97, respectively) were in Astronomy and History of Magic. Like Remus, his lowest overall mark was in Potions (a 79%), but everything else was in the high 80's to low 90's. He seemed rather let down at having done the worse of everyone, even though his mood had been bright beforehand.
"You did well overall, Pete," James encouraged.
"I'm pants at Potions," he grumbled, sticking the paper back in the envelop.
"I'll help you study," Severus promised. "We'll get that mark up in no time."
"No more studying until next year," he said, with a small smile. "Come September, I'll take you up on it."
"Deal," Severus agreed.
The following day was the Farewell Feast, along with the awarding of the House Cup. They arrived at the Great Hall a little before noon, when the feast was to be held.
As the hourglasses showing the house point totals had been magically covered since the "week" of exams, no one could be entirely certain who was in the lead. When Dumbledore walked to the front of the Great Hall, he rather took his time unfolding the piece of parchment containing the totals. No doubt, this was to add to the suspense.
"In fourth place," he began, his voice booming, "Hufflepuff, with a very respectable four hundred and seventy-five points."
"At least we're not last," James muttered.
Similar opinions echoed, through murmurs, across the Gryffindor table.
"In third place," Dumbledore continued, after waiting for the voices to die down, "is Slytherin, with an even five hundred points."
Even five hundred or not, they'd still lost. Severus felt a smile grow on his face, and his was hardly the only one with one.
"Bella looks furious," Sirius muttered, with a laugh. "Good thing it's her final year!"
Severus chuckled. He couldn't imagine Sirius' cousin being all that concerned with point standings, but perhaps she would have felt it a sign that Slytherin house (and her hatred of Sirius) was superior, had they won.
"In second place," the headmaster went on, cutting these cheers short, "is Gryffindor, with five hundred and twenty points. Which means, for the second year in a row, Ravenclaw has won the House Cup with a very impressive six hundred points."
More cheers resounded, and no one at the Gryffindor table could feel too badly that they had been overtaken by Ravenclaw. The decorations turned to blue and gray, with a lot more blue than gray, and the Head Boy and Seventh Year prefect rose to accept the Cup and shake the headmaster's hand.
"You know," Sirius murmured, helping himself to two pieces of baked chicken, "Slytherin must have really been behind before the Quidditch match. D'you remember the score, James?"
"Three hundred and twenty to three hundred," James answered, in between bites of his own food. "Which means that Slytherin likely only had around two hundred points before the game began."
"Unless they lost a bunch," Remus pointed out.
"Well, I don't mind that Ravenclaw won this year," Severus said, "but if James makes the Quidditch team, they'll likely find themselves in second place."
James grinned. "We'll see. I have to make the team, first. Dad's promised to buy me a racing broom this summer. We're going to look over the catalog to see what's out."
"Have you done any research on your own?" Severus asked, with a grin.
"Yeah, but the new models don't come out for another few weeks. That's if Dad agrees to the newest model. He's a bit cautious...says they might not be as great as the advertisements claim, and doesn't want me falling off my broom in the middle of a match," James explained. "I know I'll love whatever I get."
"Sure to be better than those school brooms," Peter noted, dryly. "Nearly knocked me off that one time."
"It's a good thing Madam Pomfrey ran a diagnostic charm afterwards," James noted. "No one's that bad of a flier, eh, Peter?"
Peter laughed. "Good thing she had it destroyed."
The broom, like many that were not intended as racing brooms, had outlived its usefulness. When that occurred, the only thing left to do was destroy it completely.
The Quidditch coach had also performed similar spells on the remaining school brooms, just to be certain that none of them would send first-year students into the hospital wing.
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you looked at it, the only broom that had needed to be disposed of was the one Peter had been using.
Soon, the lunch options were replaced by dessert ones, and before they knew it, the feast was over. Everyone felt rather full as they made their way back to their dormitories to finish packing.
As Severus finished folding up his casual robes, he noticed that Remus' chocolate supply was looking low. The next full moon was only days away. As he still had a great deal of uneaten chocolate, he placed it in a tin and handed it to Remus.
"Here. I'll never finish all of this," he offered.
"Oh! Thank you," Remus murmured, a smile forming on his face.
"We'll make sure to acquire a large supply over the summer," Sirius put in, "but I reckon Severus will have the easiest access to it."
"You will as well, if you can manage a visit," Severus reminded him. "We ought to write or floo-call within the first week, so we can figure out who's going where over the holidays."
"That's a good idea," James said, placing a stack of textbooks in his trunk. "I know when our beach trip will be, but I really want to see Hogsmeade. And you, of course, Sev."
Severus chuckled in appreciation. "I might grow sick of the village before we get to go as students."
"Never!" Sirius looked scandalized. "We can't have that!"
That night, they all slept in the same bed-or rather, beds. They fit into one, but barely, and rather than be uncomfortable during their last night, they moved another bed next to the first. Of course, they slept with Severus' mum's blanket on top of them, even though it was too warm to really need it.
All in a row, Severus curled up between Remus (at the far end) and Peter. Sirius was on the other end of Peter, with James next to Sirius, who was at the other end of the bed. They whispered for awhile before drifting off to sleep, but Severus was too tired to make out more than bits of conversation here and there.
It did occur to him, as he drifted off, that he'd miss this during the summer holidays. At least, the part of the holidays that it would just be him and his mum. He'd always had his own room, but sharing a dormitory hadn't been nearly as difficult as he'd expected. Perhaps, because the curtains produced some form of privacy when he needed it. By now, after nearly ten months of sharing a room, he thought he'd be rather lonely in the coming weeks. However large or small the house (or suite of rooms) his mum managed to purchase with her earnings, she'd told him that he'd have his own room.
While Severus would rather enjoy the privacy, he thought he might feel rather lonely as he fell asleep.
At least, it would only be for a couple of months.
As everyone had packed the night before, the last morning was relaxing. The ride to Hogsmeade was not set until 11:30, and everyone rose before 8. Hungry from not having eaten since the night before, they changed into their school robes and headed to the Great Hall.
Lily and her friends were already there, and Lily certainly looked the most morose of the bunch.
"A whole summer with Petunia," she grumbled, after greeting Severus and the others. "And you won't even be living in my neighborhood!"
"I'm sorry," Severus answered, meaning it. "Perhaps you can visit over the summer? With my father gone, I'm sure my mum will let you."
"That would be brilliant!" she grinned. "Mum and Dad would say yes, I'm certain of it."
"Perhaps in early August?" he suggested. "James is having us over in July for a couple of weeks, to stay with them at their beach cottage."
"That's what Mum calls it," James piped up. "Potter Sea Cottage."
"Sounds pretty," Lily said, still smiling. "My parents usually take us on a holiday to the beach. I usually love it, only this year..."
"Petunia might warm up a bit if it's just the four of you," Remus offered. "Family holidays can offer a way of bonding."
"Maybe." Lily sounded a bit dubious. "We can send owls from anywhere, can't we?"
"Takes longer if you're on the other side of the world," Sirius explained. "If you're going to the North or South Pole, they can be at least a month. I expect if you send one from any beach in Great Britain, it will take the owl another day to get to Severus in the beginning, but after that, your owl will know the path easily enough."
Lily grinned. "They're more reliable than the muggle postal service, aren't they?"
"Usually. And they don't close for muggle holidays," Severus added. "Or Sundays."
As they all finished eating their breakfast of bacon and eggs, Severus and Lily promised to owl each other as soon as they arrived home. Severus did feel a little bad that he wouldn't be living near her anymore, but if her group of girl friends she was surrounded by was anything to go by, he doubted she'd be alone much during the summer holidays.
They returned to their room one last time to grab their trunks and make sure they hadn't left anything behind. Peter found a pair of socks under his bed, but they were the wrong color and half-eaten by dust.
"Must have been there before me," he decided, throwing them in the bin.
Then, it was time to go. Severus tried to enjoy the carriage ride to the station, but felt a sense of loss when he knew that his trip would end there. His friends would have hours together on the train, chatting and enjoying the train snacks (not that he couldn't purchase those in Hogsmeade, but still...), and he'd already be home.
At least his father wouldn't be there.
His friends, for their part, gave him extra strong hugs when they arrived at the station. Really, Severus thought James nearly cracked one of his ribs with his.
Lily's was certainly the most gentle of the bunch, although as warm as ever.
"I'll floo-call as soon as I have your address!" James promised. "Or you can call me, if you like. Potter Manor."
"You'd better wait a day or so for me," Sirius said, looking a bit gloomy. "Dunno what my parents will do to be in the week before James arrives."
James wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I'll be there before you know it."
Remus and Peter also provided their addresses (Lupin Woodsy Place and Pettigrew Village) with an accompanying piece of parchment stating the name. Severus didn't imagine he'd forget, but he was grateful all the same.
Then, the threstals stopped, and they vacated the carriages, holding their trunks in one hand, and giving Severus a final hug with the other before making their way to the platform.
A minute later, his mum Apparated beside him, looking even prettier than she had over the Christmas holidays, and smiling brightly at him.
She pulled him into a long hug before speaking, and Severus felt nearly all the remains of his gloomy mood evaporate.
"It's so good to see you again, honey," Eileen murmured. "How are you? Are you ready to see our new home?"
At Severus' nod, she took his hand and they vanished.
When they appeared, Severus stood at the entrance of the house in front of them in wonder.
Notes:
Up next: The 1% rule, a new (kind of) house-elf, and getting settled.
As this marks the end of Severus' first year, it would seem logical to have this be the conclusion of my fic-and start up a new one for Severus' next year. However, I'm not sure if I'll be writing for all seven years, as I currently don't have nearly enough ideas for a fic/series of that size. While I do plan on writing linearly, I might skip one or more year entirely, which would result in a rather clunky series.
So, for the time being, this will remain one fic. I figure I can always go back and rework the formatting if need be.
Thanks to those of you who have commented and left thoughtful feedback. I hope you (and others!) will continue to do so!
Chapter 41
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus' first thought was that this couldn't possibly be all theirs. His second, more reasonable, thought was that it wasn't, of course. The mammoth-sized building they were standing in front of must house several families, and they would simply be living in a suite of rooms.
Yes, that made far more sense than his mother renting (buying?) a bonafide mansion.
"Well, what do you think?" Eileen asked, giving Severus a gentle push forward, and opening the door with her wand.
Instead of a hallway leading to various rooms, the main one stood in front of them.
Well, perhaps there was a common area for tenants on all of the floors, rather the way the houses at Hogwarts had their common rooms.
It was certainly fancier than anything Severus had expected.
Before he could think of an answer, a small creature wearing a very large, white sheet appeared with a crack.
"Miss Leeny! Miss Leeny is back!" the creature said in a high-pitched voice. "And Miss Leeny, this be your soon, Mr. Severus?"
Severus then recognized the creature as a house-elf.
But who was "Miss Leeny?"
His mum turned to Severus, smiling. "Yes, but he seems to have gone momentarily mute."
"Perhaps Pinky can make him some tea and biscuits?" the house-elf offered, looking hopeful.
"I think that would be a very good idea, Pinky," Eileen beamed. "Come, Severus, you look positively shocked. I'll explain everything once we sit down."
And so they did, in that very room, on one of the softest couches Severus had ever sat on. He had thought that the squashy armchairs in the Gryffindor common room had been the perfect place to take a nap, but this was like sitting on a cloud.
Not that he'd ever sat on one, and he knew that clouds weren't actually soft, but the comparison seemed sound enough in his mind.
Pinky, he learned, as his mum poured him a cup of hot, warm, and truly delicious tea, was one of the Prince family elves. Yes, wealthy families had more than one elf at a time, because long ago, a family would start with at least one male and female elf who were already married, and then children would soon follow. At the time Eileen had reconnected with her family, they had ten elves-although three were very old-and wanted to bestow at least one of them onto Eileen. Pinky had been her favorite as a child, and the elf had very much missed her, so they agreed that Pinky would come to live with Eileen.
"That explains Pinky," Severus agreed, slowly, "but who's Miss Leeny?"
Eileen laughed. "I am. Leeny was my childhood nickname. I outgrew it by the time I was twelve, but Pinky and I had always been close, and I allowed her-and only her-to continue to call me that. As you can see, she still does." She gave Severus a fond smile. "I expect she'll continue to call me Miss Leeny until she's very old. Not that this will happen for quite some time. House-elves, when treated well, can live even longer than witches and wizards."
All right, so the reunion between his mum and her parents had gone well enough that they'd given her her favorite childhood elf. He supposed this was promising. But how in the world could she afford this house? It was hardly a house, really, but a mansion.
Smaller than what James and Sirius lived in, he knew, but it could have swallowed up their own home several times over. At least.
"And...the house?" he asked, cautiously.
Had it been owned by his mum's parents, as well? He knew that some old wizarding families kept numerous homes, as much to have places to go on holiday as for safety reasons. Not that something like a muggle fire could cause a wizarding home to go up in flames, but they weren't indestructible if you had enemies.
Eileen blushed, just a bit. "Severus, do you know about the 1% rule?"
Severus shook his head. He'd never come across this in any of his readings.
"Most wizarding families, like mine, invest a great deal of their money in Gringotts. Of course, nearly everyone with at least some cash on hand puts their money there, because it's safer and because the goblins invest it for them. Goblins are shrewd businessmen, and if you keep your money with them, they ensure at least a 15% rate of return per year. Of course, that means you have 15% more money than you started out with the following year, even if you don't add anything to it," Eileen added, "and many of the wizarding families don't work, but live off of their fortunes. It's part of the reason some don't have many children."
Severus nodded, following along easily. Yes, with that rate of growth, even a modest amount of wizarding gold could grow significantly in several years.
"Once a child reaches adulthood, the father or mother will withdraw 1% of their cash assets from the bank, and give it to them as a yearly allowance," Eileen went on. "Male or female, it doesn't matter. Mind, females are rather encouraged to marry shortly after they come of age, but they receive their 1% even if they remain single. Each year, they receive this 1% as an allowance, and because of the 15% growth rate, the allowance is larger each time."
"What about when the family has more than one child?" Severus asked.
"It's still 1% for each child, once they become of age," Eileen explained. "As long as the family doesn't have more than fifteen children, their wealth will continue to grow."
She said this last part as a joke. Severus didn't think he knew anyone with more than a few children.
"I left my family a few years after I had begun to receive my share of the inheritance," Eileen went on, "and when I returned, I had expected my parents to tell me that they had given it to my brother and sister. They would have been right to do so, as I'd abandoned them. However, my father had kept careful records of what my portion would be at the end of each year, in the event that I returned. This means," she concluded, "that we have rather more money than I can begin to fathom. My family's wealth exceeds fifteen million galleons, so after they provided me with my portion..."
"We're millionaires?"
The idea seemed foreign to Severus.
She nodded. "This house was a couple hundred thousand. My parents helped me find it. I thought it was too large, and no doubt you think so as well. But," she said, with a laugh, "they say that if I'm to return to my family, I must live at least somewhat like a Prince. The rest of the money is in the bank. I'll still be working at the apothecary for a few mornings a week-I love the work-but I won't be relying on any of the money it brings in."
"What sort of work do you do there?" Severus asked, taking a bite of a biscuit.
"A bit of brewing for the shop and research into newer potions. Not unlike what I did before you were born," his mum answered, smiling. "More potions have been discovered since then, and there's quite a demand. But Master Belby and your Potions teacher, Professor Slughorn, had been working together on potions for various ailments, and invited me to collaborate with them."
Severus was impressed. "That's great, Mum!"
"Yes," she said, simply. "Would you like to know what we've been working on?"
He nodded, still chewing on the biscuit.
"As you know, Dragon Pox has been around for about nine hundred years, and while there's a cure, it's less effective on the elderly population. We've been experimenting with modifications of Gunhilda of Gorsemoor's cure to create a potion that can be used on the elderly," she explained.
"How do you test out such a cure?" Severus wondered.
"That's part of the trouble. Fortunately, Master Belby has been spreading word about it, and if anyone who's old enough to contact a severe case of it, they're very willing to be what muggles call a 'guinea pig.'" Eileen studied him. "That's not the only potion we're working on. There's another that may be of particular interest to you."
Severus frowned, unsure of what she meant. His scars were gone, and he had no other physical ailments.
"What do you mean, Mum?"
"Well, not to you, directly, but to one of your friends," she clarified. "I know about Remus Lupin's lycanthropy, dear."
Notes:
A cliffhanger, yup. More details to follow in the next chapter.
I know that, according to online sources, the Wolfsbane Potion wasn't developed until the 1980's, when another werewolf attended Hogwarts. It was then that Master Belby, working with Professor Slughorn, developed the Wolfsbane Potion.
In this universe? Eileen Snape's adding herself to the mix. And with three minds working together, why shouldn't a cure develop quite a few years earlier?
Rest assured, this will NOT prevent the Marauders from becoming animagi.
Next up:
Adjusting to a new home is never easy, and plans for Severus to meet his grandparents.
As always, if you're enjoying this, please feel free to leave feedback!
Chapter 42
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus had just reached out his hand to take another biscuit from the tray, and at his mother's words, his hand shook and his eyes darted up at her in shock.
She paled, immediately, and spoke quickly. "Didn't you know? I thought you and your friends would have noticed the pattern of his absences by the end of the year."
"N-no," Severus stammered. "I mean, we did put it together. After the winter holidays, that is. But how did you know, Mum?"
"My father is quite friendly with members of the Board of Governors at the school," Eileen explained, his face smoothing over. "They were notified of the decision to admit Remus Lupin, and agreed to have the Whomping Willow planted over one of the entrances to Hogsmeade. It was certainly unconventional to admit a werewolf into Hogwarts, but Headmaster Dumbledore, it would appear, outlined the plan of care so thoroughly that they could not reasonably object. Additionally," she added, "his father is quite well respected."
Severus nodded, mutely.
"He is a friend of yours, is he not?" his mum prodded, gently. "You've mentioned him in your letters."
"He is," Severus confirmed. "He's a good friend. If it weren't for him, I expect I'd be in Slytherin."
His mum put an arm around his shoulders. "We want to help him, if we can. Along with any other werewolves who are not...who have not chosen the darker path."
Severus had a vague idea of what his mother meant. He knew of Fenrir Greyback, as all witches and wizards did, and his name was even used as a warning for naughty children who wanted to stay outside and play past their bedtimes. This werewolf chose to target children, including Remus, wishing to make the entire offspring of the wizarding world those terrible creatures.
He supposed that, with the hatred of werewolves as a whole within the wizarding world, Greyback had his own set of followers.
"Will you be testing the potions on Remus?" Severus asked, looking up again at his mother.
But she shook her head. "No, even if he wanted to and his parents gave consent, it would be forbidden under our laws to use children as test subjects. We do have some adult werewolves who have given consent, in exchange for money, but Remus will not receive any potions until we are certain they are effective. Which could take years, even decades," she added, with a sigh. "Master Belby and Professor Slughorn and I are rather at odds with what the potion should entail. Certainly, it should allow the werewolf to keep his or her mind upon the transformation, and not be a danger to himself or others."
Severus nodded. "And you want something more?"
He guessed as much. It was consistent with his mother's high expectations for herself.
"I want the transformation to and from to be without pain," she said, simply.
"I-I haven't seen Remus transform, of course," he murmured, "but we've all seen him afterwards. I know Madam Pomfrey treats his injuries, but it takes at least a full day to recover. He can't do much except sleep in that day. Can hardly eat."
His mother's arm pulled him closer. "Yes. And that's with the pain potions available at Hogwarts, which most werewolves do not have access to. Most live with lasting pain-muggles call it chronic pain-until the toll of the transformation causes their heart to give out. So, as you can see, a potion or potions that would make the transformation entirely painless would do a world of good to these werewolves."
Severus nodded. Yes, that would be a breakthrough, if they could manage this. But he also knew enough about potions to realize that even fairly simple ones could take at least a year to concoct. What his mum was speaking of might take a decade, or longer.
She was brilliant, and so was Slughorn (and so, he expected, was Master Belby), but what they were looking to do could be nearly impossible.
Still, he was proud of her for trying.
"I hope you can do it," he said, his voice shaking a little.
His mother now pulled him into a hug.
After they separated, Severus asked his mum if she was upset that he hadn't told her about Remus.
"No. As you said, you didn't know until after the Christmas holidays, but it's hardly the type of thing one puts in a letter," she assured him. "Anyway, I wouldn't have blamed you had you wanted to keep your friend's secret. I do think that the headmaster should have been candid from the start, though. If he believed it to be wise to let Remus attend school, he ought to have told the students and their families. But," she added, "now that you know, I suppose you'll keep it between the four of you."
"And Lily," Severus added. With a grin, he said, "She's a real mother hen when he comes back from the hospital wing. Practically forces chocolate on him."
Eileen chuckled. "From what I have seen of her, I don't doubt it. Anyway, I expect Remus appreciates her care--all of your care--but there is something about us females. Now, are you hungry for lunch?"
Severus nodded, and they walked to the kitchen, where Pinky was waiting with stacks of delicious sandwiches and soup.
As well as assortments of cakes for dessert.
Later that night, Severus was unable to sleep.
He'd expected as much, and when he showered earlier (his enormous bedroom actually had a private bathroom that was larger than his room back in Cokeworth), he'd washed and conditioned his hair, despite having done so that morning. But the relaxing scalp massage did little to put him to sleep, even if it had felt very nice at the time.
Severus could hardly complain about his bedroom. It had everything he could possibly want, and things he hadn't thought to want. There were even two very large beds that were softer than his bed at school. The blankets were also incredibly soft, and there was a new one his mother had knitted for him on top. The pillows were both fluffy and solid against his head. And the walls contained shelves and shelves of books of all kinds. There was a good, sturdy wooden desk, an equally sturdy chair for work or study, and a separate rocking chair besides. He had no fewer than seven windows alone his corner tower room, and window seats as well. He could curl up in one of those seats and open the window and feel the night air on his face.
There were even advanced potion kits and supplies, the kind he'd longed to get his hands on when they first went to Diagon Alley. But they'd cost twenty-five galleons apiece--a fortune, back then. His mum now purchased them so he could keep up with his brewing over the holidays, but playfully warned him that she expected Severus not to spend all day working.
Nor was brewing or reading the only way he could pass his time. Along the shelves not loaded with books were a variety of muggle and wizarding games, and even materials for drawing and painting. He hadn't done either for ages, but perhaps he might start up again.
At the moment, though, Severus just lay in bed, unable to sleep, feeling lonely and as though the silence was unbearable. At school, he'd had his friends, and the background comforting noises of them. He reckoned he could distinguish between each of their footsteps by now, because at least once a week, they would have to rise and go to the loo, or grab a drink of water, or both. He knew that Remus snored on occasion, Peter often, and James spoke of Quidditch in his sleep. Towards the end of the term, Sirius' nightmares had become more vivid, but with the exception of the one time during the Easter holidays, James got to him first. Severus would hear his voice comforting Sirius, and he'd drift back to sleep.
He missed them. He missed Hogwarts, of course, but he really missed his friends.
Sirius is probably even lonelier than I am, he thought.
His parents hate him, and it will be at least another week before James gets there. And it probably won't be the only week he'll be without company.
As hard as it was to sleep by himself, at least Severus' mum was nearby.
He rolled over on the bed, then the other way. But while he was perfectly comfortable, sleep refused to come.
Maybe he could go downstairs and get some tea. There was still some in the pot from earlier. Severus could warm it up with a Heating charm. Maybe the drink would put him to sleep.
Severus was just turning the door when it opened towards him, and his mother stood in the hallway, wearing a pale blue dressing gown over her standard white nightgown.
He jumped back as though he'd been struck, and his mother stepped back a few feet.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to frighten you, Severus. The wards were off, and I wanted to make sure you were all right," she explained, a note of apology in her voice.
Severus felt himself shrink a good foot or two.
Wards. Something that parents put on a child's room, to detect danger at worst, nightmares at best. His mum had altered his to detect only physical danger when his father started beating them both for the crime of him having a nightmare on occasion.
"I thought those were just in case I was in harm's way," he said, carefully.
Eileen put a hand on his shoulder. "He's not here anymore. Unless you'd prefer it to be the old way?"
Slowly, Severus shook his head.
His mum smiled at him. "Come. Let's have some hot chocolate, and you can tell me what's troubling you."
He nodded, and followed her out the door.
Notes:
If you have a minute and enjoyed this chapter, please leave a comment!
Up next: not entirely sure. Definitely a heart to heart between Sev and his mum, but I haven't started the chapter yet!
Chapter 43
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Perhaps sensing his need for a change of scenery, Eileen called Pinky and called for the hot chocolate to be sent to the upstairs study.
Although, really, the word "study" felt dreadfully inaccurate. Yes, there was a desk and shelves filled with books, but there also contained two long, dark couches, and upright, roomy chairs that, Severus noticed upon sitting on, were surprisingly comfortable for their sturdy appearance. Which made him wonder if every piece of furniture in this house was meant to be soft enough to fall asleep on? He'd have to find out as he spent more time there. Given the size, this could take days...
"Here is the hot chocolate, Miss Leeny and Master Severus!" the elf squeaked, bringing Severus out of his musings. "Pinky brought biscuits, in case you is hungry. But Pinky can take them away if you is not wanting them?"
"No, they look delicious. Thank you, Pinky," Eileen answered, kindly. "You may go back to bed. I don't think we will be needing anything else."
"If you is needing anything, Pinky is happy to serve!" the small elf insisted, making a curtsy before vanishing with a plop.
"She was always my favorite," Eileen said, with a light laugh. "I hadn't realized how much I missed her, or her me. House elves can get very attached to the families they serve, Severus, especially if they are treated with kindness."
"Not everyone does?" Severus asked.
Although he was fairly certain he knew the answer. Sirius had referred to elderly elves being beheaded and their heads mounted on the fireplace.
How barbaric.
"Unfortunately, no. But my parents always instilled in us the importance of being kind to our elves," she answered, taking a biscuit from the tray.
Then, rather slowly, his mum took a seat next to him, and lit the lamps (oil lamps, he knew, from the scent) with her wand. With another flick, she lit the fireplace, for which he was glad. Severus wore only his sleeping gown, and the room felt chilly.
All the same, he felt himself shivering, and willed himself to stop.
"Here, put this on," his mum lightly ordered, removing her blue dressing gown and wrapping it around Severus' shoulders before he could protest.
"Won't you be cold?"
"I've never gotten cold easily," she's explained, with a light laugh.
Severus nodded, but his attention focused on what was covering her. It wasn't as long as a shirt, as it ended below her shoulders, but extended to cover where her legs began. Up the front were a row of something that weren't quite buttons, as they were metal.
He'd seen glimpses of it before, this white garment that covered the top of her body. When Severus had slept beside his mother over the winter holidays, she'd kept it covered with a dressing gown, and on the occasion he'd seen her only partially dressed, he'd turned away. It wasn't decent, he knew, to see a grown woman without all of her clothes. Even his mother. The dressing gown covered most of her nightgown, and all of the white garment, so it was all right. But she was sitting next to Severus in just her nightgown and the white garment, whatever it was, and didn't think there was anything unusual about it, so Severus supposed he ought to take his cue from her.
"Sorry," he said, embarrassed.
His mum looked down at the white garment and laughed. "Oh! I suppose you've never seen my corset before."
He shook his head, unfamiliar with the term, then looked down at his hands. This felt as awkward as when his father had told him about sex..."Your...what?"
"I wear it under my robes, sweetie, and over my nightgown. Not all witches wear them over their nightgowns, I expect, but those with smaller waists do." At his blank stare, she explained further. "Muggles have mostly stopped wearing them by now, but witches of magical parentage still prefer them over...other undergarments." Now, she reddened just a bit. "In a year or so, many of your classmates will likely start wearing them. Not Lily Evans, I expect, but many others will."
"Oh." Severus looked up for a moment to find his mum sitting next to him. The garment was very tight-fitting, and he noticed for the first time just how small his mother's waist was. He could probably wrap both of his hands around it, with room to spare. White button like things lined up in front, except they weren't buttons. It certainly looked strange, quite unlike her loose robes. And his, too.
"D-does it hurt?" he had to ask.
His mum laughed, as though she'd been expecting the question.
"No." She put an arm around him. "Well, I admit that it did feel rather restrictive when I began to wear it, but that was ages ago. I was thirteen, then, and I have worn it ever since, except for the months I knew you were growing inside me." Eileen gave him a rather wistful smile. "It rather feels like a good, strong hug."
Severus smiled, glad she enjoyed wearing this garment...this corset. Of course, he supposed that she wouldn't wear it to sleep in if she didn't.
Eileen tucked some hair around his shoulders. "But that's not what's troubling you, is it, Sev?"
Severus wrapped the dressing gown closer around him, and his mother summoned a blanket and wrapped it around them both.
"I expect I miss school," he began. At her encouraging nod, he continued, "And my friends. My room is brilliant, Mum, it really is," he added, quickly. "It's only...I expect that it feels a bit...empty, as it's only me there."
"Lonely" was the correct word, but he didn't want to complain.
Eileen pulled him a bit closer to her, and Severus let his head rest on her shoulders. While she didn't say anything for a few minutes, Severus had a feeling it was because she was trying to find the right words to use.
"Do you know, I very much felt the same after my first year," she answered, finally. Her voice was softer than usual, almost sad. "At home, I had my own suite of rooms, even my own bathroom. As you know, my family was very well off, and after you reached a certain age, you were given more space to yourself than many adult wizards who lived on their own for the first time! All the same, I quickly became used to living with my fellow Slytherins, and didn't find it particularly difficult to share a space with them. The problem, as you may realize, was that I could hardly spend all year at school. When I came home, I missed them, but I also missed living with them."
Eileen squeezed Severus' shoulder. "I expect your friends miss you as well, honey."
A feeling of warmth spread over Severus.
"What did you do when you were home for the holidays?" he asked.
Severus knew that his mother had always returned home for Christmas and Easter. Well, except for one year, when she spent both holidays at Hogwarts, but that had been to see what the castle was like during those times.
He recalled her telling her with a laugh that she had a far better Christmas than Easter at Hogwarts.
"Convinced my younger sister to share a room with me." She smiled rather ruefully. "We weren't close, especially after I became a teenager, but it was certainly better than being lonesome."
Severus wondered if she had reconnected with her sister as well as her parents. Now didn't seem like the best time to ask.
"I can't do that, though," he said, instead.
"No," Eileen agreed. "But if you can't sleep and would like to chat, or just want some company, you can always come and talk to me. We can have hot chocolate and biscuits, too."
"I don't want to wake you up, Mum. Not for something silly like that."
"Oh, Sevvie." She took him into her arms. "It's hardly something silly! Besides, you will see them quite soon, and the loneliness does go away."
Severus knew the former was true, but was less convinced about the latter. All the same, it was a relief that she understood.
They finished their hot chocolate, and then Severus allowed his mother to tuck him into bed and card his hair until he fell asleep.
Notes:
Short chapter, but I couldn't think of too much else to write without dragging it out. Anyway, I expect previous ones were long enough to make up for this!
Next up-a visit to the grandparents!
Chapter 44
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
They wore their dress robes to visit Severus' grandparents. Or, to be more accurate, Severus put on the sole pair of dress robes that he owned, while his mum deliberated for a bit between a color she called periwinkle and another in dark blue. In style, they were identical, with loose-fitting sleeves, more material in the skirt than traditional robes (in case they were being worn to balls, weddings, or other events that would include dancing), and some embroidery along the sleeves, neckline, and bottom of the skirt without being, as Eileen had called it "too ornate."
In the end, the periwinkle robes won out over their competitor.
Severus' own robes were a deep shade of brown, and upon studying himself in the mirror, he thought he looked rather nice in them.
Of course, he did need a haircut. His hair was past his shoulders, and he'd taken to wearing it in a ponytail. All the same, it was rather a nuisance. His mum had promised to take him to the hairdresser in Hogsmeade before the end of his first week back, and it was still only his fourth day home.
"You look nice, Mum," he told her, watching as she critically studied her appearance in the full-length mirror.
She did, too. This particular set of robes was from before she'd married, although she'd purchased new sets since. In the end, he supposed, his mum had gone with what she knew.
The colors seemed to be brighter in some areas than others, nearly moving as reflected by a prism, only with lighter and darker shades. It was only something that a witch or wizard with a good eye would notice. The robes had generous wide sleeves, not that his mum would be brewing in her best clothes, and narrowed around the waist to accentuate hers. Severus thought he could hardly be blamed for not noticing her small waist before, as ordinary robes were generally not tailored. Oh, you knew if someone was large, but not if someone was small.
Then, there was her hair. It was loose, minus two small braids in the front that she'd woven together to form a type of net around the rest of her tresses. It was like nothing Severus had ever seen, and it was lovely.
That, and her excited face certainly made her look beautiful. Not like the mother he'd known for most of his life...or much like a mother at all. Well, perhaps, maybe a young mother...
She smiled. "As do you, honey. Do the robes fit you all right?"
"Yes, they're comfortable," he assured her. "Mum, are--are they very...formal?"
His grandparents, he meant. He still didn't know what to call them, even what to refer to them as. His mum's parents? His grandparents? His mum's mother and father?
Usually, he just said "they."
"Not always," his mum said, rather slowly, "but we always dressed for dinner, and whenever I visited over the past few months, I wore my dress robes. Do you mind dressing up to see them?"
Severus honestly wasn't sure, and said as much. Dress robes, at least his, were made of a softer material than his ordinary or school robes, but you also had to treat them with more care. He was sure that James wouldn't think of flying in his, just as he wouldn't brew until changing out of them.
"Well, I suppose we'll have to see what they expect of us," she answered.
"Do you like dressing up?" Severus asked, as much to know the answer as to shift the subject.
She grinned. "I do. Especially since I haven't had much opportunity to do so in quite a long time."
"You look lovely, Mum," he murmured, almost embarrassed to say it, but knowing she would appreciate it.
She did, and after another once over and a farewell to Pinky, they departed.
They did not appear inside of Prince Manor. To do so would have been the height of rudeness, and likely impossible. Most magical houses had protective barriers against Apparition inside, not unlike muggle locks. Of course, the barriers didn't apply to the owners or residents, but Eileen Snape was neither.
Instead, they Disapparated a few feet away from the front entrance. Eileen had explained that this entrance was used by friends and extended family, while tradesmen and the like entered by side entrances. The house elves usually greeted those people, and if it was necessary for them to see members of the Prince family, the elves would use their own powerful magic to appear in front of the family.
Severus had wondered if they would be seen, but his mum had explained the manor was surrounded by a very woody area, and aside from that, their house (as well as many others belonging to magical folk) contained muggle-repelling charms.
Such charms could be removed in the rare event of a muggle needing to be admitted into the house. Tobias Snape, of course, had never been inside of Prince Manor, which gave Severus a feeling of safety as well as a feeling of being polluted by being his son.
Even if he could hardly help who had been his father.
Eileen gave Severus a careful glance to make sure he was all right, which was kind but unnecessary. He had only felt ill the first two times, and a bit dizzy a few more. Now, he gave his mother a reassuring smile, and she returned it.
"Ready?"
He nodded.
She knocked gently on the door, and Severus wondered if her action would go undetected, but immediately, the door opened and a figure emerged.
Severus had never seen pictures of his maternal family. His mother had packed her clothing, but either by design or by accident, she left behind any photos she might have been able to call her own.
The woman in front of them wore fine robes (silk, most likely) of a light blue color, decorated with lace and embroidered stitching along the sleeves, the high collar, and (he later saw) the bottom of the skirt. Her robes fit her in the same tailored manner as his mother's, and her waist was also very small. Her black was piled in an ornate bun on top of her head, and while her face was as pale as Eileen's used to be, it looked delicate, rather than sallow. Her eyes were dark green, almost piercing.
She looked, Severus realized, like a combination of a lady and one of those illustrations of princesses or queens from Lily's muggle fairytales.
She did not act like it, though. Or, not entirely. Upon seeing Eileen, she swooped forward and pulled her into a long hug.
"Eileen, my dear," she murmured, still holding her. "It has been so long."
Then, she released his mum and pulled Severus into a fierce hug that would have put James and Sirius' to shame. It didn't hurt him, though, nor did it feel suffocating. Or even very strange that a woman he had just met was hugging him as though they'd known each other for years.
After a moment, Severus hugged her back, but was sure his own was woefully insufficient. Still, the woman who was likely his grandmother (who hardly looked like a grandmother) merely laughed and squeezed him a bit closer.
When she let go, Severus felt an odd sense of loss, and did his best to school his features. He'd become quite good at this before starting at school, but the better part of a year with his fellow Gryffindors had made him let his guard down.
"You," she said, placing her hands on his shoulders, "must be my grandson, Severus."
"Yes, ma'am," he answered, politely.
He wondered if he should care her something else, then, but surely she would tell him.
And she did.
"Grandmother, child. Or Grandma, if you prefer. My other grandchildren tell me that's what we're to be called, these days," she answered, with a bit of a laugh. "Come to the sitting room. We mustn't have you two standing in the entrance all morning!"
With one arm around Severus' shoulders and another around her daughter's, Severus' grandmother guided them into a grand living area. A man was already there, about the same age of her, and he was conversing with a house elf. Upon seeing them, his face formed a grand smile.
"My daughter and my grandson!" he said, with a voice that was rather softer than Severus expected. "Great Merlin, I have waited too long for this!"
Severus found himself swooped up into another hug, and grinned.
It was rather a good thing he'd had a lot of practice over the past school year.
Notes:
So, I haven't written the next chapter, and I'm going to ask for your input. Shall I continue with this scene, or skip ahead to another?
Up next: You decide! :)
Chapter 45
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The sitting area was rather less formal than Severus would have expected, given how well off his mother's family was. Then again, he knew very little about his mother's side of the family, and they weren't part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, so he supposed he shouldn't have been surprised at their taste in furnishings.
He also had little experience with wizarding families and how they lived. Certainly not the way James and Sirius did.
Glancing around surreptitiously, Severus could see that the sitting room was certainly less informal as the Gryffindor common room, which the squashy armchairs that one could easily succumb to sleep in (and if you were fortunate enough to claim two, and could put them together, you basically had a bed). That, he supposed, was to be expected. Even in a sitting room, he imagined, there had to be an air of formality. Lily had loaned him a book awhile back, set in the United States almost a century ago, about a relatively well to do farmer family. The parents were so proud of their parlor that the children were rarely allowed in. How strange, to be so devoted to a room that it was off-limits to most of the people in your family.
"Sit down, sit down!" Severus' grandmother urged them, guiding them to one of the couches.
He obeyed, as did his mum, taking a seat on a dark blue couch, finding its cushions to be lined with velvet. It was almost unbelievably soft, perhaps a recipient of a Softening charm? He noted that the couch was oddly high backed, but Severus was rather grateful for the support, because as soon as he sat down, he felt it rather difficult to remain upright.
Not his mum, although she'd always sat straight and upright, never leaning against the back of a chair. Severus wondered if her corset had anything to do with that. Looking at his grandmother, who had taken a seat next to his grandfather in a matching green couch, he noted that her waist was almost as small as his mum's. She also sat upright, but the expression on her face was anything but formal.
His grandfather's stance was only slightly less upright. Like Severus, the older man-though not old, and certainly far better looking than his own father had been after a few too many alcoholic drinks. His robes were rich brown, and nicer than Severus' dress robes. Despite his new clothes, he felt rather out of place in such a large and rich home.
Even though the one shared by himself and his mother was likely at least half that size...
All the same, Severus felt almost shy, in spite of the hugs and smiles. Certainly, at a loss for words. These smiling people, his grandparents, might as well be strangers to him. It was, after all, the first time they'd ever met. They might have gone over a decade without seeing their daughter, but they knew nothing about Severus, and he knew very little about him.
His grandmother broke the silence. "Eileen tells me you finished your first year at Hogwarts, Severus."
Before Severus could do as much as nod, his grandfather broke in. "Nearly top in your year, as I understand, and a Gryffindor to boot! I don't believe our family had one of those for nearly a hundred years."
Severus wanted to squirm with embarrassment. His mum hadn't minded, in the end, but was he going to become some sort of black sheep, some oddity, because he'd chosen this house.
His thoughts were broken off by his grandmother's almost melodic laugh.
"Great great great grandmother Cecily Ariadne," his grandmother recalled, almost gasping for breath. "Great Merlin, I hadn't given her much thought for years." She paused to take a breath, or perhaps for emphasis, still smiling widely. "Now, Severus, I never met her, and she passed when my mum was still a child, but, oh, my grandmother remembered her well. A real tiger, she was! Oh, excuse me," she added, covering her mouth, "I mean, a real lion."
She winked, and Severus snickered in spite of himself. "What was she like, Grandma?" he asked, so eager to hear more that he didn't stumble over the unfamiliar word.
"To hear Grandma tell it, she was bold as brass," his grandmother recalled, with a snicker of his own. "Nearly expelled from school more than once, but always had a good reason behind it. Mind, rules were far stricter back then, and they whipped boys and even girls for the smallest of things." His face darkened, as though the idea of such a punishment made him want to hex those who performed it. "Hogwarts was not always the kind place that your mum knew it to be. Once, Cecily charmed those dreadful objects to become invisible for a week, and go after the professors instead. That made her quite popular in all the houses. Another time, she fought against the exclusion of the younger students at the Winter Ball by hosting another one in the...well, I mustn't give away castle secrets just yet. You'll find out soon enough, and then you'll understand."
Severus gave a small nod of understanding. Their searches throughout the castle had been fun, but not entirely productive. Still, they knew of at least one way into Hogsmeade, even if the Whomping Willow covered it.
He felt his mum's arm around his shoulder. "Mum, you'll make Sev think you approve of troublemaking!"
"Only when there's a good reason behind it. Mind, Slytherins in my day caused plenty of trouble, but we never were caught. That was our motto. If you're going to break the rules, don't get caught doing so," she said, with another one of her laughs.
"Did Mum...?" Severus asked, making sure not to look as his mother.
"Not very often, at least, as far as we knew," his grandfather answered, without hesitation. "A few house points taken here and there, and perhaps one detention throughout her tenure."
"Mostly, though, for being tardy to class or skipping History of Magic to work on her potions," his grandmother put in, with a rather indulgent smile. "Not that I would have faulted Leeny for either, but we usually didn't know except from her, and well after the event occurred."
"If there was any lesson worth skipping, it would be History of Magic," Eileen pointed out, sounding sour. "Why the headmaster hasn't sacked that ghost and filled the position with someone who's a capable teacher, I'll never understand."
"I expect it's a rite of passage," Severus' grandmother said, sagely, but his grandfather snorted.
"A ghost doesn't collect a salary. Even if Dumbledore wanted to sack him, the Board of Governors would put up a fight," he reasoned. "No, I expect that old Binns will remain for the duration of the school."
"Ah, but dear Cecily might have been able to put a stop to him," Eileen quipped.
They all laughed at that.
Moments later, a house elf appeared with their tea, and the most delicious biscuits Severus had ever tasted. He had to take care not to take too many at once, and to eat them at a reasonable pace. For a moment, he recalled his uncertainly about eating at the Welcoming Feast, only to realize that the boys who would soon become his friends did not observe the same standard of decorum (or, not at school, anyway) as he'd grown up with.
While his grandfather certainly shared his enthusiasm for the treats, both his mum and grandmother stopped after one apiece.
"Hopey, kindly assemble a large container of these for Severus and Eileen to take with him," his grandmother requested.
"With pleasure, Mistress!" the elf squeaked, bowing deeply. "Is there anything else you be needing?"
His grandparents exchanged looks, and then his grandmother shook her head. "Nothing at the moment, but we will summon you if we need you. Thank you, Hopey."
The elf bowed again, and immediately disappeared with a small popping sound.
"Such dear creatures, our house elves," she said, with fondness. "Hopey has been with us for eight years. Her mother, Lakey, gave birth to her ten years ago. Elves, you see, reach the age of needing to serve at two."
Severus had never known this before, but he'd known very little about house elves. He felt that he was expected to give some response, so he settled for a nod and a rather awkward smile.
"Severus," his grandfather put in a moment later, no doubt wishing to rescue him from the awkwardness, "your mother says you've inherited her talent for Potions."
"Not just Potions!" Eileen protested, with a laugh. "He excels in all of his studies. Over a hundred percent in most of his examinations, Father!"
His grandfather chuckled. "Ah, I've no doubt that you're an excellent student Severus, but Potions are where you shine, isn't that so?" he prodded.
Severus nodded once more, but this time, with more certainty. "Yes, sir," he answered. "Ever since Mum first taught me to brew, I've taken an interest in the subject."
"I'm glad," his grandfather said, rather softly. "The talent is a strong one in our lineage, and if you go back in our family tree, you'll see names that later became known for great discoveries. Not that I expect you to make such a discovery tomorrow, but know that this talent is a great part of you, and must be cultivated."
"Yes, sir," Severus repeated.
"Yes, Grandfather," he corrected, gently. "Or Grandpa, if you prefer."
"Grandpa, then," Severus added, feeling his face redden, just a bit.
Fortunately, the man reached over and put a hand on Severus' shoulder.
Hopey appeared with a pop, then, and walked over to Severus' grandmother. "Hopey is very sorry to interrupt, but Milly is saying that lunch is ready if you is wishing to eat."
The older adults exchanged a glance, and then a smile. "Would you two care to stay for lunch?"
Eileen gave Severus a questioning look, and he gave her a slight nod. Smiling, she said that they'd be delighted.
The meal was as delicious as the tea, and Severus left the table feeling quite full, as their plates kept refilling themselves as soon as they emptied.
Well, not his mother's or grandmother's, as they ate at a far more leisurely pace than Severus and his grandfather. He supposed that they did not feel quite as stuffed as he did, nor rather in need of a rest.
Severus was relieved, although a bit disappointed, when his mother said that they ought to take their leave.
"You will return next week?" His grandmother asked, concern showing for the briefest moment.
"I promise," Eileen answered, then gave her mother a hug. "Sundays will be our day for tea and lunch."
"Very good, and you are most welcome during the week," his grandfather added. "The both of you, mind. I must show Severus my Potions lab before the holidays conclude."
"There will be plenty of time for that, Father," Eileen promised, as he wrapped her in his arms.
Then, it was Severus' time for goodbye hugs that almost rivaled his friends, and they were off.
Notes:
The response was unanimous--continue this chapter--so I hope that this one met your expectations!
Next up: Time for a haircut, and plans for the Marauders to join up again.
As always, constructive feedback is most welcome!
Chapter 46
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
After receiving an owl from James with an official invite to his family home, which requested his presence for two weeks starting on Saturday, July 10th, Severus figured he ought to do something about his hair.
It was only a week and a half into his holidays, but by now, he'd established a good routine. He rose relatively early, ate breakfast with his mum, and then walked with her to the apothecary for her morning work. Her few mornings a week had changed into four to five mornings, but he didn't really mind because Severus was going to be thirteen in less than half a year, and hardly needed his mother with him at all times.
Without Severus, his mother could have just Apparated to work, but the mornings were warm without being stifling hot, and the walk gave them further time to chat. Sometimes, she told him about her work, or stories from her childhood, or what she was doing in the lab. (Severus had asked to help, but she'd said no-he was still too young for the brewing process of these complex potions. And they had an apprentice for the sort of mundane tasks he would be capable of performing. Perhaps in a year or so.) Potions was a slow, complicated process, and where there were mundane aspects to the process of brewing various concoctions in hopes that a slight adjustment of stirring, waiting, or ingredients would be what caused this one to work, anyone who went into the field knew this and rather thrived in it. Lily had joked that those minds often had a muggle disease called OCD-or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Severus had retorted that being orderly and wanting to keep all of your limbs intact was hardly a compulsion.
Normally, Severus would return home afterwards and get a good start on his homework-or read ahead for the next term. Today, with James' invite in hand, he was planning to finally have his hair cut.
"Are you sure you don't want me to go in with you, honey?" Eileen asked, only for the tenth time that morning.
Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes, sigh, or both. "I'm sure. Why, is the witch who cuts hair someone to be afraid of?"
She laughed. "I don't know, as I've never had a haircut in my life."
Severus stared at her. "Never?"
Another laugh, then a shrug. "If my ends looked dreadful, then my mother would tidy them off. Other than that, no. Witches in pure blood society always wore their hair long. Some of the wizards, too, as you know by your headmaster," she added, with a smile. "Short hair was a fad for a few years among some of the half bloods and muggle borns, according to my mum. During the 1920's, I believe." She frowned, just a bit, as she concentrated on remembering. "Yes, it must have been then. Well, it never caught on, and as I recall, most of the girls who weren't pure blood still ended up growing their hair out even if they came in with a-what's the word?-'bob,' I believe. Like small waists, I don't believe long hair will ever go out of fashion in our world."
Severus frowned. "Am I making a mistake, then? Having my hair cut?"
Eileen hugged him, never mind that they were in the middle of the village. Severus found he didn't mind in the least.
"Not at all, sweetheart," she assured him. "For one thing, boys usually do have short hair. For another, you've had to keep your hair long, because..." She paused, then squeezed his shoulder. "Now that all that's gone, I believe it would be good for you. And if you wish to go back, your hair grows quickly. You will likely need another haircut by the end of the holidays, anyway, if you don't fancy going back with shoulder-length hair."
Severus nodded, seeing the reasoning all around.
And yes, he likely would need a second haircut. His hair grew faster than many of the plants in Professor Sprout's greenhouses.
They departed soon afterwards with another hug, and then Severus headed in the opposite direction to the village's sole hairdresser.
He'd seen it before, and taken note of the location, or else he might have spent a couple hours in search of it. Not that the shop was out of the way, exactly, but it certainly wasn't as prominently visited as Honeydukes or Zonkos. Or even the post office, which was on the left of it. (The right of it, Severus noted with a bit of embarrassment, was a shop that sold the lady's undergarments his mum and other witches wore. Not that there was anything wrong with wearing one, but he reckoned it was rather untoward for a boy of his age to be gaping at a store that sold them. He averted his eyes, quickly, and headed into the hairdresser.)
It wasn't as crowded as Severus imagined Honeydukes would be on a Saturday Hogsmeade visit, but there was no shortage of people. Nor was there a shortage of employees. The employees were easily marked by their long blue robes, with huge white aprons covering the fronts. This was promising. A shop that made their customers bald would not have nearly as many of them. Word did get around, after all.
"Hello, there!" a red-haired witch wearing the uniform greeted Severus with a kindly grin. "Here for a haircut, are you, young lad?"
"Yes, ma'am," he answered, respectfully, although he suspected that this woman wasn't likely much older than a seventh year student at Hogwarts.
"Very good!" she beamed. "First time, is it?"
"Yes, ma'am," he repeated.
"A shampoo, or just a haircut?" she asked, studying him. "With your straight hair, we can manage without getting it wet, but it's only an extra two sickles, and Miss Rosings does a lovely scalp massage."
"Only two sickles" would have been a lot just a year ago-indeed, half the amount would have been a lot. But now, with plenty of spending money in his change purse, and an extra galleon given to him this morning simply for this occasion, he rather had to agree with the assessment.
All the same...
"How much would a full haircut be? With the shampoo included?" Severus asked.
She laughed. "That depends on how much work you want to have done. Mind, you're a young male, so I reckon you don't want the braids or elaborate hairstyles some of the girls your age fancy?" At Severus' look of horror, she laughed again. "Thought not. A trim, or perhaps a bit more off, then?"
"Above my shoulders, but long enough to cover my ears," Severus explained, having already thought this through. "They, er, tend to stick out a bit. I wouldn't fancy a super short cut. Like this," he continued, with a gesture of his hands.
The witch nodded. "Yes, yes, that style would suit you, I'm sure. Well, in that case, the total would come to five sickles, including the cost of the shampoo. How does that sound?"
Severus didn't think that, in spite of her question, there was really room to negotiate. Not that he would have wanted to waste the time in doing so.
"Sure, that sounds all right," he answered.
"Excellent. Now, I have another boy ahead of you, who's getting a shampoo, but Miss Rosings is just about finished with him. I expect that by the time you're sorted out, I'll be ready for you. Come with me."
The witch, without actually touching him, nudged him in the direction of a woman who looked to be somewhere between the age of his mum and his grandmother.
"Miss Rosings! This boy-sorry, dear, what's your name?" she asked, haltingly.
"Severus," he answered.
"Right-Severus, then. He'll be needing your services. As it's his first time, do an extra good job, eh? We want him returning," she said, with a laugh.
"I always do a thorough job, don't I, Ellie?" the witch half grumbled, half laughed, as she rinsed out the suds with her wand. "You'd think I hadn't been at this since you were a wee child!"
The witch-Ellie-just laughed. "I'll leave him in your hands, then."
Miss Rosings nodded, finished with the rinsing, and wrung out the hair of the wizard in front of her. He looked to be a year or so younger than Severus, and had a small smile on his face. No doubt, he'd enjoyed his shampoo. Miss Rosings draped a towel over his shoulders, and gently prodded him until he rose.
"Thank you," he said, with a smile.
"Now, don't thank me until you see that Ellie doesn't chop off all your hair-oh, I'm only teasing, dear!" she added, seeing his face turn to horror. "She's a good one, that girl. Well, off you go. Ah, Severus, are you ready?"
"Yes, ma'am," Severus answered.
"Well, have a seat, then. Let's get you sorted."
He obliged, and felt the woman's hands gently position his head so it was in the sink, yet his neck was arranged comfortably on a warm cushioned towel. As the warm water from her wand filled the sink and seeped into his hair, Severus felt that he might fall asleep.
It only improved when Miss Rosings' applied the shampoo to his hair. Due to the large amount of his hair, she had to use quite a good deal, or so it seemed, and massaged it into his scalp for what felt like ages. Severus was used to the gentle massage from the shampoo meant for children, but this was a whole other level. He sighed, nearly melting into his chair, and heard the older woman's chuckle as she worked it in, over and over.
Severus reckoned it was over when the water ceased to pour over his head, but Miss Rosings didn't apply the towel just yet.
"Feel good, eh? Now, I'll put in the conditioner. That will be just as nice," she told him.
"But I only paid for the shampoo," he murmured.
"It's part of the charge. A sickle for the shampoo, and a sickle for the conditioner," she explained, with a laugh. "And with hair as long and as thick as yours, you need it."
"All right," Severus conceded.
Not that he needed much convincing.
It did feel very nice, although perhaps not as sleep inducing. The combing felt rather like a good head scratch, a bit different from the treatment of the conditioner he used at home, but not in a bad way.
Really, even if they did mess up his hair, it might have been worth it just for this.
Maybe. Hopefully, Ellie knew what she was doing.
After a final rinse, Miss Rosings gave him a gentle prod from the chair, and Ellie was waiting to take him to his seat.
"Felt nice, didn't it?" she asked, with a smile. "I have witches and wizards who come in weekly just to get their hair washed and conditioned by Miss Rosings, then dried by me. Don't even get a haircut, just want the treatment."
"It was very nice," Severus agreed, returning her smile.
She began to comb through his hair. "Now, let's go over what I can do for you today. Wouldn't want to turn you away from coming back after that, would I?"
They both laughed.
Severus held a rather large hand mirror in front of his face, and Ellie another one behind his back. They spent a couple of minutes going over how much he wanted her to take off, and she asked him questions to clarify exact lengths. Finally, she removed her mirror, but had Severus continue to hold his.
"If I take off too much or too little, you must tell me at once. I can perform an Undoing charm, but it must be within a minute of the cut," she explained.
This was an additional reassurance, Severus had to admit.
In the end, though, no such charms were needed. Severus reckoned he left with perhaps as much as half of his hair gone, but the new style suited him. His hair was long enough to cover most of his ears, enough to keep them from sticking out, and the rest was just above where his neck started. He'd still have to come it out in the mornings, but it would take a few minutes, rather than at least twice as long.
Severus was also glad that he hadn't gone for bangs. His forehead, Ellie had explained diplomatically, didn't work with that hairstyle.
"Thank you!" he told her, very nearly beaming, when he saw the final result. "It looks brilliant!"
She laughed. "You're rather a handsome boy, behind all that mane!" she teased. "If you return a few days before your holidays end, I can perform the same cut without taking off nearly as much."
"Well," Severus answered, with a light laugh, "my hair grows rather quickly."
"Lots of witches would love to have that problem," she said, sagely.
He thanked her again, paid her, and left feeling light on his feet, and having grown about a foot.
Notes:
I had a version of this written before, but when I went to locate it in the FFN document manager I use for all of my chapters, I couldn't find it. I guess I accidentally deleted it! In any event, I think this was the better version, so hopefully it's for the best.
Next up will PROBABLY be the Marauders joining up at James' house, but we'll see where inspiration takes me.
As always, if you're enjoying, please leave a line or so of constructive feedback.
Thanks!
Chapter 47
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus waited as his mum finished preparing. He hadn't realized that she'd be joining him when he visited James and his friends, but when James had sent the official invitation, it included a tea for the parents. Severus had been more preoccupied with wondering how the Black family would handle this than he'd been about his mum.
As it turned out, from a far more casual letter from James, Lord and Lady Black would not be attending. This wasn't out of rudeness, but simply because they'd already hosted Mr. and Mrs. Potter when they'd dropped off James at their house.
Probably for the best. Severus didn't know if Lord and Lady Black would explode from the shock of meeting Mrs. Lupin, an actual muggle.
At the time, though, he hadn't realized that a tea involving the parents would be a formal occasion. Judging by the way his mum was having their elf, Pinky, prepare her clothes and her hair, it might very well be as grand as a ball.
The extent of Severus' preparation was washing his hair that morning, and donning a pair of dress robes. He was still getting used to his shorter haircut, and found himself smiling every time he looked in the mirror.
Now, he was waiting outside of his mum's room, hearing her occasionally give an order in the form of a request to Pinky.
When she emerged, though, he had to admit the extra time had been well spent. Severus had viewed his mum as sallow-faced, not well dressed, and with lanky hair not dissimilar to his own. Either she'd left any of her nicer robes at her parents', hadn't fit into them after giving birth to Severus, or they'd been destroyed by Tobias Snape. She hadn't resorted to wearing muggle clothes, but her robes had been faded and worn, patched over with fabric that didn't quite match the original.
Her appearance had certainly improved once they'd moved to Hogsmeade, with her face gaining more color and her hair sleek and shiny, even if she had kept it up most of the time. Severus thought that his mother had become even prettier after he'd returned home for the summer holidays, especially with new robes and a less severe hairstyle.
Now, though, he almost wondered if it was truly her.
The dress robes were violet in color, complementing her hair and skin in a manner Severus wouldn't have expected. They were long and full past the waistline, as traditional ones were, but they emphasized all of her features. Never mind that the robes reached just to his mum's collarbone. From there to her waist-and it was very, very small indeed!-he could see how it brought out all of her best features.
"Er." He cleared his throat. "You look really, really nice, Mum."
Eileen laughed, and pulled him in for a hug. "I dressed like this for parties in my youth. We all did."
Severus couldn't imagine a sixteen or seventeen year old Eileen looking like that and having to resort to marrying Tobias Snape.
"Miss Leeny was a lovely girl, but she did not always see it!" Pinky explained, stepping out from beside her. "Pinky and the other elves and Miss Leeny's mother would tell her so! Alas, she did not believe it!"
"Well, with a beauty like my sister, can you blame me?" Eileen asked, peering down at the elf.
Pinky hmphed. "Miss Jessie is a good and lovely girl, but her waist was never as tiny as yours!" To Severus, she added, "Miss Leeny was fourteen inches then, and fourteen now! Miss Jessie could not get her waist below sixteen! Too many biscuits and cakes, Pinky says!"
Eileen chuckled, and Severus stared. "Fourteen inches?"
He knew his mum's waist was small, although he rarely saw her robes as tailored as they were. Usually, they hung rather loosely on her frame.
"Well, fifteen after I left your father. I needed the extra room for the housework at the inn, and it's rather difficult to get your waist so small without help," she explained, with a blush. "But yes, I'm back to fourteen, thanks in part to Pinky's help."
The elf beamed. "Pinky wishes to please her mistress, Miss Leeny!"
"You do, Pinky," Eileen said softly, smiling down at the house elf.
"And, you're comfortable?" Severus asked, studying her again.
She pulled him into a hug. "Yes, honey, very. Don't worry about that, please."
All right, then.
"Well, you do look beautiful, Mum," he told her, smiling. "Are you ready?"
"Yes, honey. Do you have your trunk?"
"It's downstairs by the door. I used the Feather Light charm, just like you taught me," he added. "It wasn't as difficult as I had expected."
"That's because you're a very bright and studious boy, Severus," Eileen praised. "You know, if you hadn't talked the Sorting Hat into Gryffindor, I expect it might have strongly considered you for Ravenclaw."
Severus shrugged. Ravenclaw probably would have been fine, in its own way. He likely would have made his own group of friends. But, he reasoned, even if James and Sirius hadn't decided to become his enemy, he never would have been his friend in that house.
He was far better off in Gryffindor.
After a quick breakfast, Severus took hold of his trunk with one hand, and his mum's with another. He felt the familiar tug he associated with Apparition, and then, they were standing outside of Potter Manor.
At one time, he would have been astounded by the size, but having lived in what muggles would call a mansion for the better part of three weeks, Severus was simply impressed. He wondered if the Potters used as little of their house as he and his mum did of hers. Pinky kept all of the rooms clean of dust, of course, even if most would go untouched by human hands for weeks, if not years, on end.
It was, as Eileen had explained, a status symbol. Perhaps, at one point, entire generations of magical families lived within the same home, and a hundred or more rooms were necessary, or at least useful. Now, though, children set out to make their own families, and while the tradition of each generation adding rooms no longer had any real purpose, it remained as a tribute to what was.
Severus' mum squeezed his hand. "Nervous, honey?"
"A bit," he admitted.
He'd never even met the Potters, and suddenly he was going to live under their roof for two weeks.
But James and Sirius and Peter and Remus would be there. It would be all right.
Besides, he'd spent the majority of his life trying to stay out of his father's way. He hadn't entirely succeeded, but he could have done far worse. If the Potters were dreadful (and James certainly didn't seem to think so...), he'd manage.
Really, he would have had more to fear staying at the Black family. They'd scorn him for having had a muggle father and being the illegitimate son of a pure blood witch. Probably, they would have said that the Prince family should have killed him and his mum...
Severus was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't see his mum kneeling before him, placing herself a bit above eye level with him.
"Sevvie, honey, it will be fine," she soothed. "And if you're unhappy, you can send an owl or a Floo call, and I will come and fetch you."
Severus smiled, but mentally reprimanded himself. He'd managed a year away at school, for Merlin's sake. He'd even befriended two boys who, he'd been certain, would have been his enemies had he not been in their house. He could certainly manage a two week holiday away from his mummy!
"I'm just being silly," he answered, with a laugh. "I'm nervous, but I'll be fine. Really."
Eileen hugged him again. "I'm proud of you, love."
Then, after a brief look at Severus, who nodded, she gently knocked on the door.
Notes:
Next up...the mothers meet, and a reunion of the Marauders!
If you're enjoying this fic, please take a minute to leave a comment!
Chapter 48
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
In the time it took for Severus to mentally prepare himself, the door to the Potter Manor opened, and a house elf wearing a clean pillowcase decorated with flowers opened the door, then bowed.
"Good afternoon!" she (Severus supposed the elf was a she, as the pitch of its voice was the same as their elf) greeted, with a wide smile. "Is Pinchy correct in thinking you be the guests of Mr. James Potter?"
Eileen looked entirely nonplussed at this. "Indeed, Pinchy. I am Eileen Prince, and this is my son, Severus."
Bowing again, Pinchy held the door open even wider. "Please come in! The others have just arrived!"
Severus felt the slightest pang of fear, and annoyance, at being the last. If his mum had just hurried a bit...
But no, there wasn't any point in getting worked up about that. Besides, the elf had said they had "just" arrived, so hopefully, they hadn't been waiting long.
"Thank you, Pinchy."
Another bow, and the elf led them into a sitting room more than twice the size of their own. Why, his entire year could fit in, and with room to spare.
Severus saw his friends, of course, as well as an assortment of adults he had never viewed. He reckoned he could determine who the Potters were, with Mr. Potter's long, black hair tied in a ponytail, accompanied by his wife with similar long hair in a braid. Both wore traditional robes, but Mrs. Potter's waist was nowhere near as small as his mother's.
Not that it was large...just far closer to Mrs. Evans' in size than his mum's.
They were currently involved in conversation with another pair of adults who, Severus guessed, were Remus' parents. A dark haired man wearing green robes stood beside a blonde female in robes of a lighter green hue, and whose waist was somewhere in between the size of his mother's and Mrs. Potter. He recalled that Mrs. Lupin was a muggle, but she must have taken on the practice of traditional wizarding garb upon her marriage to her husband.
Standing a bit off to the side was a lone witch, small in stature, wearing yellow robes. He couldn't make out her face, but if his former guesses had been correct, then she was Mrs. Pettigrew.
The Black family was noticeably absent from this gathering, although Severus saw a smiling Sirius chatting with James. Had their families had their own tea? That might have been best, as the Potter family was the sole pure blood of the group.
The elf-Pinchy, Severus reminded himself-bowed before the Potters and gave the slightest noise when there was a silence in their conversation. Mrs. Potter looked down at the elf, and while Severus could not make out the details of her face from his viewpoint, he did see her nod as the elf said, "Begging the Mistress' and Master's pardon, but Mrs. Prince and Mr. Severus have arrived."
"Ah, very good, Pinchy. Thank you," Mrs. Potter spoke up, sounding much as his own mother did when she spoke to their elf. "Do excuse us for a bit."
"Of course," Mr. and Mrs. Lupin answered at once.
Mrs. Potter walked towards them, rather more briskly than her smiling husband. Was she the one who oversaw everything in the house? Or, since it was a matter of social behavior, was it rather more common for the women to "take charge?"
Before Severus could wonder too much about this, though, he found himself face to face with his de facto guardians for the next two weeks. He gave a low bow, as was the tradition, and when he rose, he was relieved to see both Potters smiling up at him.
"It is lovely to meet you both," Mrs. Potter greeted, now reaching a hand out to shake his (another pure blood custom), which he accepted.
"Very good to meet you," Mr. Potter added, extending his own hand.
"Thank you for the invitation," Severus replied, politely. "It is most kind of you."
Mrs. Potter's smile widened, and Mr. Potter chuckled.
"It's all James could speak about since he returned from the Blacks. We're happy to be able to meet his friends, as well as their parents," he added, turning to Eileen, and giving her a nod. "A Potioneer, I understand? Quite impressive."
Eileen laughed. "Thank you. To be fair, I've only just begun my work in the field again in the past few months. Raising a young boy loans little time for a career."
"Ah, yes." Mr. Potter nodded, his long ponytail brushing against his shoulders. "Even with house elves, there are many tasks. Mostly enjoyable ones, of course, but responsibilities all the same. Euphemia chides me for spending too much time in my laboratory during the days that James is away at school, although, my dear," he added, turning with a smile towards his wife, "I have not been there once since his return home."
"I should think not, as I'd send Pinchy to fetch you after a few hours," Mrs. Potter returned, with the smallest of eye rolls. To Eileen, she added, "That's not to say that I don't enjoy brewing, myself, but Fleamont could spend all day and much of the night there."
"Yes, well." Mr. Potter chuckled, then turned his attention to Severus. "And you take after your mother, James tells me? It's your favorite lesson."
"Yes, sir!" Severus answered, with enthusiasm.
"Excellent." Mr. Potter gazed on him with approval.
"Well, dearest, let's assemble everyone for tea," Mrs. Potter coaxed, "and allow Severus to greet his friends."
"Right you are," Mr. Potter answered, with another light chuckle. He put a hand on Severus' shoulder, rather carefully, and gently steered him in the direction of the other boys.
James immediately separated himself from the others, and Severus wondered if this was another pure blood tradition he hadn't known about.
Out of the corner of his eye, Severus could see his mum and Mrs. Potter walking towards the direction of the adults.
"Sev! You made it!" James called, grinning at him.
Severus smiled a bit awkwardly, and was relieved when Mr. Potter spoke up.
"I daresay we've been talking his ears and his mother's ears off. Other than that, he's all in one piece."
James gave Severus the once over, as though to verify his father's claim. "Looks like even his ears are all right. Sev, can you hear me?" he asked, raising his voice to a near shout.
It was all Severus could do not to roll his eyes. "Barely," he returned.
Both Potters broke out into laughter at that.
"James, tea will begin presently, so why don't you show your friends where they'll be staying?"
"Sure, Dad," James answered, a smile on his face. As soon as his father began to move away, he asked, "Have a good start to the holiday? Your hair looks great like that! Oi, you lot. Look who's here!"
As Severus expected, he spent the next few minutes being hugged by his friends. Even as he complained that his lungs were being crushed, he couldn't hide a smile.
"Come on, I'll show you where we'll be staying," James urged. "Well, Sirius has seen it earlier, but he's welcome to come, too."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Already sick of me, are you?" he asked, a smile playing at his lips. "Nice haircut, Sev."
"Thanks," Severus answered, running a hand through it. "Still feels a bit odd, but I like it."
"You look less like a sheepdog," James offered, as they followed him out of the room.
"Like you can talk," Remus put in. "Mind, your hair isn't exactly long, but it's certainly wild."
"Ah, that's a Potter trait. Can't cure that expect with Dad's hair potion, and I'll only use that under duress," James specified. "Now, we have my bedroom, and another spare room that Mum enchanted so it connects with an inside door..."
They stopped walking as they approached a round staircase, and by the way it was set up, Severus and the others could see there were numerous floors. Just the thought of walking up so many made Severus' legs hurt.
"Don't worry," Sirius interjected. "James' room is on the second floor. So are his parents', only they're on the other side of the house."
"Yeah, we don't use most of the house. The third floor is mostly where Dad does hit Potion work, and the fourth floor is where we have our Quidditch stadium." James grinned at this. "There are spare brooms if you want to play, but we'd need to take turns on my Silver Arrow, as that's the best one there."
"What are the other floors for?" Peter questioned. "I see at least three more."
"There are three standard ones, but there's also the attic at the top. Mum thinks there might be a ghost who haunts it, so she never goes, herself. Mostly old clothes and school papers and the like, so if she ever reckons she needs something that isn't in her room, she'll send Pinchy or Marble to search it out." Severus shrugged. "The other floors are mostly just unused rooms. A handful of bedrooms, another room that used to be a library-only Dad combined the books there with the ones in his first floor library-and empty rooms. Might even be a second ballroom. Dad says that some old pure blood families used to use a spare to teach their daughters to dance, but as there's only me...yeah, we don't use most of the rooms in this house."
"It's the same with my family," Sirius added, in response to Remus and Peter's awestruck stares. "If you're rich, you add on rooms. Never mind that some manors already have more than a hundred, a new generation has to make their mark, so they send their house elves to work adding more. Perhaps, the new rooms become the main living quarters, and the rest of the house gets shifted up a floor. Or they make add on a few rooms for every floor, so the house doesn't need to be moved. Whatever they choose, you end up with more space than ten families would ever need."
"My house is a bit like that," Severus offered, tentatively. "Well, the one Mum bought. We don't use even a portion of what's there."
"You're still living in Hogsmeade, though?" Peter asked, as James opened the door to his bedroom.
"Oh, sure. It's great there," Severus said, with a smile. "We're a bit away from the shop portion, but it's not a far walk."
"You'll have to tell us more about it," James insisted. "Well, here's where you'll be staying for the next two weeks."
Notes:
I don't have an immediate vision for the next few chapters, only that the next will likely cover the tea and the beginning of the Marauders' stay at the Potters. Any ideas you have would be much appreciated--but keep in mind that Remus still doesn't know about them wanting to become animagi, so any steps towards that goal during this trip would likely lend to him feeling left out. And while canon!James and canon!Sirius in their fifth year can be a bit dense about that (to put it mildly), they are a few years younger here, and I've changed the story enough so that the two--while yes, might still be rather reckless and self-obsessed--won't take it nearly to the same level as canon.
If you're enjoying this, please let me know! :)
Chapter 49
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
James made as though to leave his room, but before Severus could stop himself, he blurted out the question that was likely on everyone's mind.
It certainly was on his.
"James? How did everything go with Sirius' family?" he asked, glancing from James to Sirius.
Sirius easily sank down into one of the plush chairs, followed by James, who nodded at the others.
"You want to tell it, or shall I?" Sirius queried.
"They're your family," James replied, rather cheekily. "You have the honor."
Remus raised both eyebrows, and Peter tried to stifle a laugh. Severus hoped that he looked nonchalant, but he could hardly see his face.
"Ha." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Well, you know what blood purists my whole family is, 'cept Andromeda and Uncle Alphard."
"No, really?" James quipped. "Did you have any idea, Peter? Severus?"
Peter snorted, and Severus rolled his eyes.
"You don't say," he deadpanned. "I thought they adored muggles and muggle borns. Had them over to tea on Sundays."
It was Sirius' turn to snort. "Yeah. Well, turns out that rather played in my favor. See, as I heard from Andy, she and Uncle Alphard spouted the pure blood rubbish about how it really wasn't so terrible that I was in Gryffindor, and my closest friend is a pure blood, even if he's not part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. Which matters to them, the Sacred Twenty-Eight bit, only not to the extent of being a pure blood. Nott's list was questionable at best because of some of the families that he included and didn't include. Political rubbish and all that..." Sirius shrugged. "I mean, the Weasley family is on the list, and they were burned off the tapestry eons ago. Once Dad learned that everyone in my house was at least a half blood, and my best friend was a pure blood, he wasn't quite so angry."
"That's...logical," Peter remarked. "Is he, er, the one in charge?"
Sirius snorted. "He's the head, Mum's the neck. They both know it, too. Which means that her opinion is what matters most." He paused, and after waiting (rather dramatically, Severus thought), he continued. "Dad wasn't exactly thrilled by my sorting, mind, but with this new information in hand, I reckon he rather realized that going almost a year without any communication had been a bit dramatic. It wasn't as though I'd been placed in Hufflepuff, you know, or had made best friends with muggle borns. Not," he added, quickly, "that I have anything against muggle borns. But I wasn't about to act as though I was rejecting my family's most sacred values a few days after I was sentenced to spend the next two months with them."
Severus nodded, as did the others. Truth be told, of the five of them, his views regarding muggle borns had likely been the most negative. Sure, Lily had been his best and only friend for years, but he'd rather thought that she'd shined in spite of her muggle born status.
Her handicap, as it were.
Sirius went on before Severus could continue his mental train of thought. "From what I gather, Dad tried to convince Mum that I wouldn't have been a whole lot better off in Slytherin, because they do let in half-bloods. I heard him say that the Potters were a decent sort of family, even if they weren't 'of the caliber of the Blacks,'" he added, using finger quotes. James snorted. "In short? Mum and Dad say that I'll be able to use my unfortunate sorting to make political connections, if I don't muck it up in the next six years."
"Merlin's left toe," Severus murmured. "You're not planning on becoming the next Minister of Magic, are you?"
"Not if I can help it." Sirius grinned. "But they no longer look at me like I'm a wart, although Mum's told me at least ten times how very disappointed she is in me for not letting the Hat see my true Slytherin nature. Guess she thinks I was trying to use mind control on it." He changed his voice so it went higher, and said in a hoity tooth tone, "If you had done your duty and been Sorted into the house of our ancestors for the past thousand years, we wouldn't be put through such a disgrace. Oh, what will the Lestrange family say when they hear about this! Sweet Bellatrix was as good as engaged to Rudolphus until now."
"'Sweet Bellatrix?'" Peter quoted, making a face of utter repulsion. "Er, has your mum met your cousin?"
Sirius chortled. "That's my dear mum for you. Anyway," he continued, "by the time James' parents invitation came, they decided it would be best to make a good impression, even if the Potters weren't quite as high up in the society of inbreds as us Blacks-sorry about that, mate-and they invited him over for two weeks before allowing me to come visit him. Would you say it went all right, James?"
James nodded. "If I hadn't known everything that had gone on, I would have reckoned that the Black family was a bit...odd...but I reckon that's how it is with all magical families." He chuckled. "They made me feel welcome, didn't try to poison me or take a blood oath never to talk to anyone who wasn't at least half blood, that sort of thing. I'm glad to be back home, though."
"How do you expect things will go after you return home, Sirius?" Severus wondered.
"Probably the same as they were before. Fortunately, by then, it will just be a month before I can return to school." He ran a hand through his hair. "A part of me thinks the worst is over, that things will never be like they were before I started school, but they won't ignore me after I return. I guess I'll just need to tread lightly for a bit, and spend as much time with Andromeda and Uncle Alphard as I can manage. Pity that Andromeda's entering her seventh year soon. She'll likely be married right after the end of the year."
"Is that how it usually goes? In pure blood families?" Remus asked.
"Depends," James put in. "My mum and dad waited a year after finishing school, but they were sweethearts for the last couple of years. From what Mum says, it's fairly normal for girls in rich, pure blood families to either be engaged or married less than a year after they finish at school. They usually have kids soon afterwards."
Peter coughed a bit. "D'you think that Bellatrix's boyfriend would really refuse to marry her just because of your Sorting?"
"Doubt it. Anyway, she'd hex him ten ways if he tried." Sirius glanced at his watch. "James, we better get back downstairs."
James' eyes followed Sirius'. "Yeah, we better."
"I hope they don't start eating without us!" Peter said, quickly jumping to his feet.
"Mum wouldn't allow it," James reassured them. "Dad might try to sneak a few of the tarts, though."
A few minutes later, they were back downstairs, in the midst of the chatter of their families.
They sat on one side of the table, while the adults sat on the other. Remus and James occupied the two seats which held one of their friends on one side, and an adult on another. Severus sat between Sirius and Peter, and helped himself to the food while the conversation flowed around him.
The food was delicious-Mrs. Potter's house elves were clearly on par with the Hogwarts elves in their ability to prepare meals. Or, perhaps, it was a universal skill held by elves. If you went around preparing sub-par food, and your master and mistress still had their taste buds in tact, you were likely to be either sacked, to sent to perform other chores. His mum still loved to cook, and had divided the cooking duties between herself and Pinky.
After Severus had eaten his fill, he began to pay attention to the conversations around him. It was difficult to make everything out, as there was the adult conversation as well as the one between his friends to keep track of, but he could see that the families all conversed with ease. Severus was happy that his mum seemed to fit right in, and no one seemed to take her decade long absence from the wizarding world as unusual.
In fact, if they'd known about her divorce from Tobias Snape, they kept quiet about it.
After second and third helpings, and then desserts that more than filled Severus's stomach, the plates cleared, and everyone stood. All the parents bid goodbye to their children, gave last minute hugs, and then, they were off.
"Be good, and have a lovely time," Eileen told Severus, softly, after giving him a final hug. "I'll see you in two weeks."
Severus smiled in what he hoped was a confident manner. "I'll be fine, Mum, and I promise I won't give the Potters any trouble."
She ran a hand over his short hair. "I know you won't, but as your mother, I have to say it," she replied, with a laugh. "You'll probably grow another half a foot before I see you again!"
Severus gave her another hug, more fiercely this time, and then they said their final goodbyes.
James, who was the only one of them who would remain with his parents for the duration, grinned at everyone once the adults (including his parents, who had vacated the room) were gone.
"Let's explore, shall we? Maybe we can find some hidden passageways!"
Notes:
I haven't written the next chapter, but at this point, I plan to delve into their adventures at James's house over the next couple of weeks. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Finally, if you're enjoying this, please take a moment and leave some feedback.
Chapter 50
Notes:
50 chapters already?! And I haven't even started Sev's second year at school. :O As I mentioned in an earlier chapter, I don't believe that I will cover each year in NEARLY the same detail as I did the first. Other writers have done so with Marauder fics-and, as Severus is a member of the Marauders, I suppose that this qualifies as one-but the plot bunnies have not yet arrived to give me such inspiration or stamina. This is just one of the fics I'm working on, after all. With that in mind, I'm always open for suggestions that are NOT relationship centered (those are written in stone). Also, as I've long since believed that good writing is character centered rather than plot centered, suggestions for plot IDEAS are welcome-commands for me to hurry up with the plot are not. Anyway. Onto the chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Light filled the room. Severus rolled over on his side, wondering why Pinky had opened the curtains so early. Unfamiliar noises filled his ears...except that they weren't unfamiliar, not really.
Severus opened his eyes to find himself in an unfamiliar (though comfortable) bed, under covers that decidedly were not his. The room was larger than his own...and then his gaze settled on the other beds, currently occupied by his fellow Gryffindor friends.
That's right. He was staying at the Potter Manor for the next two weeks.
No wonder he'd been confused.
The day was still a bit chilly, or perhaps the Potters used stronger Cooling charms than his mother. He pulled the covers back over his frame, rather wishing he'd brought his blanket, yet realizing it would have been terribly babyish to do so.
Still, it would have helped with the sense of unfamiliarity of being in an entirely new house. The only familiar thing was his sleeping shift against his chilled skin.
At least, the sheets and blankets were very soft. Severus's bedclothes had always been that way, soft to the point of thread bare, because until recently, his mum couldn't afford anything better. He recalled how holes would sometimes peep through the fitted sheets that covered the mattress, and his mum would mend them with a piece of an old shirt. By the time he left for school, almost half of his sheets and fitted sheets had been a hodgepodge of materials, his mum's old clothes.
His linens at school had remained whole, and soft, no matter how many nights he slept in them. Magic, of course. And at their new house, it was the same way. Severus was still adjusting to the idea that they would never go hungry, nor have to do with secondhand clothes, nor would he worry about his mum not having saved enough (before her marriage, of course, because Tobias Snape's wife did not work) for new books and robes.
They didn't just have enough, they probably had more than enough to pay for the schooling of every student in Gryffindor tower for all seven years. His mum had made a "sizable" donation to the school fund intended to help those who could not pay their own way. Her way of giving back, Severus supposed, and he could hardly blame her.
Still. Often those in need were too proud to ask for aid.
Shaking these thoughts aside, he reached for his copy of "The Standard Book of Spells, Year 2." He had finished the third chapter when the noises of his roommates told Severus he was no longer the only one awake.
"Stop studying! We're on holiday, Sev," Sirius told him, then aimed a pillow at his head.
It missed, but barely.
"You're the ones sleeping until noon," Severus retorted, closing the book.
"First off, it's not even ten in the morning. And my parents always sleep in, so it's a kindness not to wake them," James began, sitting up in bed. "Second, if you're keen to read, there's at least a hundred other books you can borrow before reverting to a textbook you've nearly memorized."
"Where are these hundreds of books?" Severus inquired.
James pointed to the bookshelves, then to the walls of additional bookshelves on the wall to the side of his bed. "I have more underneath, too," he added. "Drives Mum crazy, because she thinks they all ought to be in plain view."
Severus peered at this bounty. Fiction, nonfiction...at least twenty books on Quidditch. Of course.
"She has a point. Can't you ask your dad to get your elf to build you more shelves?" Severus wondered.
"Ah, but I fancy being able to reach under my bed and come up with a surprise. It's more fun that way," James reasoned, then grabbed his dressing gown. "Seriously, Severus. If you ever want something to read, just take one of them. Oh, and if you can't sleep, Dad showed me this charm where you can not only light up your wand, but the light is only seen by you."
Sirius laughed. "Don't tell my father there's a charm that does that. He just sold his Hand of Glory to Borgin and Blokes, or whoever the other man's name is."
"What's a Hand of Glory?" Peter asked, disengaging himself from the covers.
"The way my dad told it, it's like a candleholder, but it only provides light to the user. Perfect for thievery and mischief," Sirius explained. "Of course, the Black family is filthy rich, so Merlin knows how we ended up with it. That's what my mother says, anyway." He rolled his eyes, as though to say that the Hand had at least partially contributed to their wealth.
"The spell isn't anything dark, though," James added, quickly. "It's just a way of being considerate if you're sharing a room and like to read at night."
Severus nodded. "Sure. Can't hurt to learn it, anyway."
"Speaking of sleepyheads..." Sirius walked over to Remus's bed, which still had a large human sized lump underneath. "Hey," Sirius murmured. "You hungry?"
The lump moved slightly.
Severus grinned. "If you don't get up soon, we'll eat all of your breakfast."
Remus's head appeared. "You wouldn't!"
James rubbed his stomach. "Dunno. I'm awfully hungry."
"Me too!" Sirius added, and began jumping on Remus's bed.
He groaned. "I'm up, I'm up. You don't need to starve me or destroy the bed."
"Takes more than a few jumps to destroy it," James consoled him. "Now, up, sleepyhead!"
"Do we change into our robes for breakfast?" Peter asked.
But James shook his head. "Mum and Dad eat in their night clothes, too. Oh, but grab your dressing gown, as it can be rather chilly in the morning."
A few minutes later, still clad in their nighttime attire (sleeping shirts for all except Remus and Peter, who wore pajamas) and dressing gowns, they bounded downstairs.
Severus could smell the food before he saw it. He could see why James and Sirius had playfully threatened to eat Remus's share.
Before Hogwarts, breakfast was generally just toast and water. Milk if they could afford it. On special occasions, there was bacon.
The Hogwarts Great Hall was always well stocked with good food, but there was generally just a few selections. Toast was always available, but some days the main meal was porridge. Other days, bacon and eggs. Occasionally, pancakes.
Mrs. Potter had created--or more likely, her house elves--of all of these foods and more. A long table a few feet from the one they were seated at was positively loaded with food.
"Ah, there are the sleepyheads!" she smiled, from her large plate of food. "Come in, and help yourself to whatever you like."
"And if you fancy something that you don't see, Hetty can whip it up," Mr. Potter added, from his even larger plate.
"Everything looks great, Mum!" James enthused, taking a plate and beginning to pile everything in arm's reach onto it.
"Yes, and smells great!" Sirius added, following suit.
The other three nodded and added similar words of encouragement.
Severus helped himself to pancakes, but made sure to add some bacon and eggs to his plate. He'd never had pancakes before becoming friends with Lily, and they had quickly become his favorite. His mum had smiled at the time, but explained they were too expensive. Now that they were rich--a fact that still amazed Severus--they had them at least once a week.
He had to hold back a moan of pleasure when he tasted them, something his friends had no qualms about doing. Fluffy, sweet, and with just the right amount of butter, Severus thought they were nearly the best thing he'd ever eaten.
The eggs and bacon were just as good. Crisp and tasty, he found himself dreading his full plate becoming empty.
"There's more than enough for seconds," Mrs. Potter said, giving them all endearing glances. "I had Hetty prepare plenty, for you're growing boys!"
It was a testament to the size of their plates and the amount of food they could fit that, despite the amazing taste, no one had room for thirds.
Severus, in particular, felt almost unpleasantly full, but didn't regret having eaten so much one bit. He might grow an inch or two by the time the trip was over. Well, as long as it was vertically, and not horizontally.
After praising and thanking Mr. and Mrs. Potter, they went upstairs to change into their robes. Then, they headed to the Quidditch pitch, and both worked off some of their energy, and worked up a good appetite for lunch.
Notes:
Short chapter, but I hope you enjoy it. If you do, please remember to leave feedback.
Next up: Severus has the inkling that something is off with his mum.
Chapter 51
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus didn't consider himself to be paranoid as much as someone with an appropriate level of caution. He credited this, primarily, to his father's abysmal failure at being a good father. Really, had the man not married his mum when she'd become pregnant with Severus, and simply abandoned them, he reckoned they would all have been a great deal happier during the first eleven years of his life.
His mum called his caution "cunning," and used to say it was one of his many attributes. It was a talent admired by the Slytherin house.
It had been, ultimately, what made Severus to keep his then enemies at a close range, and tell the Sorting Hat to place him in Gryffindor.
Nearly a decade later, after he would accept the positions of Potions teacher and head of Slytherin house (an irony the remaining Marauders never lost an opportunity to rib him about), Severus would come to understand that the "cunning" talent he and a multitude of his snakes shared was often do to intentional neglect (as opposed to lack of means to provide) and child abuse not unlike what he had experienced. Unlike Professor Slughorn, who he greatly admired, Severus took on a more direct role of care of his snakes. He instituted mandatory annual checkups up to their coming of age, and if there was anything amiss, Madam Pomfrey would tell him immediately.
In some cases, little could be done. Either the child was undernourished because there simply was not enough food around. In these instances, Severus simply made sure they had enough while in school, and had parcels sent during the summer holidays. And if he had to send extras for the parents and siblings, so be it. His snakes would not go without.
It was more difficult in instances of physical abuse. Was there a family member capable of caring for the child? Could the parents be made to surrender their child to such a person? Would the child give consent? All such answers had to be yes, and at least half the time, they weren't. So Severus would simply have Madam Pomfrey remove whatever damage she could (dark magic was far more difficult to remove, but its effects could be eased), and keep an eye on the situation.
It brought him many sleepless nights.
As a twelve year old, Severus only had his cunning and his instincts for when something was amiss.
And something was amiss, indeed. He spotted it in his first letter from his mother, which he received after being away for two full days. It was shorter than usual, and he thought she might have been in a hurry.
But the other letters that followed were similarly short. They included what he'd expected, and yet...not. It appeared that she was going through a list of items to say before she could finish the letter. When he wrote back with general questions, like how his grandparents were faring, she answered in only the vaguest of ways.
Ten days into his stay, and Severus was becoming alarmed.
He tried not to let it bother him. After all, he was a guest of James Potter and his family, and it would be bad form to tell them of something that had no immediate relevance to him.
He hoped.
It was rather to James's credit that he could be a little spoiled (more than a little) and used to thinking about himself. Not that his friend was deliberately obtuse, but sometimes, he wouldn't see something was bothering anyone (except maybe Sirius--they sometimes seemed to share a mental link) unless someone outright told him.
Sirius, too, seemed to think that all of his problems were now over. Yes, his parents would collect him at the same time as the others, but he was on reasonably good terms with them. His being the first Gryffindor in the Black family since Merlin knew when made him an oddity, but would not automatically blast him off the family tapestry. Severus could hardly blame his friend for his newfound happiness.
Peter was rather an outlier. Really, if he hadn't been in their house, they probably wouldn't be friends. His talent for the borderline non magical lessons was nothing compared to the others' automatic knack for the practical lessons. He was the worst student of the five, and he knew it, and he didn't have a great deal of personality to make up for his average skills. And yet, he took his inclusion in their group to be more than he could have expected.
Maybe, it was Remus who linked them all. Their desire to help the werewolf, to use their skills to make his life more bearable, bridged other gaps.
Severus was pondering this as he watched Peter, James, and Sirius flying together. Neither he nor Remus particularly liked flying, but James was a natural, and determined to land at least a reserve spot on the team.
"Dad promised me a Nimbus if I make it," he said, for only the tenth time, "so I need to be up to snuff."
"If you want Chaser or Keeper, you're in," Sirius said, shooting a Quaffle in his direction. "But you're pants at Seeker."
"Shut up!" James laughed. "I caught the Snitch yesterday, didn't I?"
"After it nearly fell into your hand," Severus shot back.
James gave him a glare, then cast it in Sirius's direction as his best friend shot a Bludger in his direction.
"Hey!"
"Your fault for not looking." Sirius was unrepentant. "Can't be holding conversations on the pitch, you know."
"And you nearly break my arm as a way to make your point?" James nearly whined. "Some friend you are."
"Perhaps he's doing you a favor," Peter pointed out. "If your arm is broken so you can't try out, you can't be ripped apart by Bludgers."
"Mum can heal broken bones in a second. Dad and I got loads while training," James said, with a grin. "I can score or catch the snitch with a broken arm."
"Is that a challenge?" Sirius grinned wickedly, and gave the Bludger a firm beating.
This time, James easily dodged it--and scored.
Beside him, Remus chuckled.
"Sirius isn't half bad, even if he's only playing to give James extra practice," he mused. "He'd make a decent Beater."
"Are there spots available?" Severus asked, not really caring.
Watching a Quidditch practice was only slightly more entertaining than playing. If there was one additional advantage becoming a second year, it was no flying lessons.
Playing Quidditch in the spring term against Slytherin had been a challenge, to say the least.
"I expect they always are in need of a reserve," Remus said, shrugging. After a pause, he added, "You all right, Severus?"
Severus turned to his friend, whose expression had turned sympathetic. Not unlike how he looked when tutoring Peter.
"Why do you ask?" Severus asked, trying to keep the edge out of his voice.
The werewolf gave a slight shrug. "Over the last couple of days, you've seemed a bit off."
Severus looked again at his other friends. James was trying to outrun another Bludger.
"Is it so obvious?"
"No." Remus's voice was gentle. "But you can talk to me, if you like."
Severus hesitated. Sharing his fears with Remus wouldn't be bad form, not like James or Sirius. It might do him good to talk about it, too.
"Not here," he murmured.
Remus understood. "Hey, you guys? We'll be right back!"
Severus nodded, and received a few waves in return. Hopefully, they would be so distracted they wouldn't notice if they were gone for more than enough time to use the loo.
Once in their shared bedroom, Severus showed Remus the letters from his mother. There were four in all, the latest from the day before yesterday.
"See if you notice anything off, all right?" he asked. "Anything at all."
"All right."
They sat down on squashy armchairs that were even softer than the ones at the front of the Gryffindor common room. There was even a fireplace in front, which must be lovely during the colder months. Severus's new bedroom had a fireplace, but it didn't feel nearly as...Gryffindor.
His thoughts were interrupted by Remus's voice.
"I only met your mum once, Severus, but the letters seem perfectly ordinary to me." He handed them back. "Is there something that is worrying you in particular?"
Severus wanted to retort that he wasn't worried, but that would be a lie. "It's nothing I can point my finger at. Rather, it feels like she's filling out a checklist of things she expects me to ask about." He shrugged. "Perhaps I'm paranoid."
"After what you've told me about your childhood, I don't blame you. No, I know your mum never hurt you," Remus added, quickly, "but your father did."
"He's gone," Severus reminded Remus, sharply. "They're divorced."
And a divorce between a muggle and someone of magical blood couldn't be undone. It was as good as if Tobias Snape had died.
Well, to Severus, not quite as good.
Still, he felt rather more at ease when they returned to the pitch. The others were still playing, and all in one piece.
His mood improved further when his mum wrote again the following day, asking if Severus would like to have Lily over for a week or two after the first week in August had passed. "I do believe she'd love to see you again, dear, as well as the village of Hogsmeade."
Severus wrote back immediately. He could have invited Lily in a separate letter, of course, but evidently, his mother wanted to go the traditional route of being the one to send the invitation to her and her parents. That was fine by him--and besides, it rather showed that she respected Lily.
It was what pure blood families did when having a child of said family over for the first time.
Tired of Quidditch practice, or perhaps aware that Severus and Remus could only watch and feign interest for so long, the five Gryffindors spent the last two days exploring the house. James and Sirius held out hope for secret passages by placing their hands on likely statues and walls within rooms. Severus, Remus, and Peter simply marveled at the sheer amount of unused space. There were entire hallways that hadn't been cleaned by the house elves in the duration of James's life because, as he said with a shrug, "It's not as though they'll ever be used."
Of course, this meant their robes and faces and hair were positively covered in dust. Cleaning charms weren't something anyone had bothered to learn, so when they ended their search of the second floor "extra wing installed by my great grandfather," they looked like street urchins.
They spent a great deal of time in the showers getting cleaned up before joining the older Potters for lunch.
"I caught sight of you boys before you got cleaned up," Mr. Potter said, with a grin. "Searching for secret passages, were you?"
James grinned up at his father, admiration clear in his expression. "Yeah, but we didn't find any."
"Pity, that." Mr. Potter put an arm around his son's shoulders. "Keep looking."
James's face shown with excitement. "Have you found any? Do you have any tips?"
But the older man just shook his head. "You might consider...less obvious places."
Mrs. Potter smiled. "I'll have the elves do a thorough cleaning. It won't take but a few hours, and that way, you won't look like muggle chimney sweeps by the end."
"Thanks!" the boys said at once.
"You're welcome." She looked pleased. "I must say, I was a bit uncertain about entertaining five boys for two weeks, but you've all been lovely to have. I do hope you'll return for next summer, as I expect you'll wish to celebrate Christmas and Easter with your families."
"Easter will be mostly homework and studying for exams," James reminded her.
"And picking your lessons for your third year," Mr. Potter reminded them. "I recommend Arithmancy, personally. Very difficult, but fascinating."
"Ancient Runes was my favorite," Mrs. Potter recalled. "There was a time I wished to go into the field professionally, but my parents would have never permitted it. I suppose it's better that I didn't press it. Wouldn't fancy being in Egypt or other arid countries, piecing together possibly cursed artifacts."
"I wouldn't have been able to manage it, myself," Mr. Potter laughed. "Our weather isn't perfect, of course, but it's better than living in a desert."
"What other lessons were available to choose from?" Remus asked, after swallowing a bite of his sandwich.
"Alchemy, Muggle Studies, Care of Magical Creatures, and...what was the last one, dear?" Mr. Potter frowned.
"Ghost Lore," she answered, promptly. "Rather a necessity if you plan a career within the Department of Mysteries or become an Unspeakable."
"Alchemy and Ghost Lore aren't offered anymore," Peter said, sounding disappointed.
"Oh, some electives come and go, but others remain in place nearly as long as the school. The founders offered Muggle Studies, as there were so many children from solely magical families," Mrs. Potter recalled. "It's all in Hogwarts, a History, if you care to read it."
"Anyway, enough about upcoming lessons," Mr. Potter said, with mock sternness. "You're still on your holidays!"
"Yes, sir!" the boys answered, cheerfully.
Sirius and James saluted the man, which caused him to chuckle.
After lunch, James suggested they meet in his room for a chat. As he was their host, and it wasn't an unreasonable suggestion, they agreed.
Severus was just making himself comfortable on one of the armchairs, thinking how it was rather like being back at the Gryffindor common room, when Sirius dropped the bombshell.
"Everything all right, Severus?"
Severus resisted the urge to look at Remus, but looked at his friend instead. Possibly, his closest friend. Sirius seemed to understand him in the way that others didn't. From the moment Sirius glimpsed his scars, things had changed from potentially still hostile roommates to, if not friends, an understanding.
It was for this reason that he didn't respond with a lie, but rather a question.
"Why would you think everything wasn't?"
Sirius's expression took on a look of almost hurt. He glanced at James, who cleared his throat before speaking.
"You haven't quite been yourself the last few days, Sev," he said, almost too gently, "and you always go rather quiet right after owl post comes."
Severus's face flushed.
"And you and Remus disappeared for awhile this morning," Peter added, haltingly.
"Was it really that long?" Remus asked.
"Longer than a usual trip to the loo," James said, diplomatically. "Look, I'm not saying that you have to talk, just that you can."
Severus considered. Remus hadn't spotted anything amiss, but the extra pairs of eyes might help. Besides, in spite of the fact he thought he'd done a good job pretending to be fine, he evidently hadn't.
"All right." He took a deep breath, then let it out. "My mother's letters seem off. I can show them to you, if you like. I'm--I'm rather scared. Wizarding divorce doesn't allow for remarriage to the same muggle, but..."
"She's been talking to your father?" James asked, raising his eyebrows.
"I don't know!" Severus snapped, then took another breath. "I'm sorry. I just think that something is off, and I'm worried."
Of course, hugs followed this. Fierce ones that nearly left him breathless, but he didn't mind in the least. Then, he distributed the letters, and waited with Remus as his other friends tried to decipher any hidden meaning.
James and Peter thought everything looked all right, but Sirius could see what Severus meant.
"It's the way my parents didn't write at all last year, but sent everything through my uncle. My new shoes, the Easter sweets. At the time, I thought it was as good as disowning. But it was more about saving face, and perhaps, harboring anger. I don't think your mum is in any danger, but I do see what you mean. There's an element of performance. There's nothing spontaneous--it's like she's writing exactly what she should." Sirius looked sympathetic. "I would have noticed even if you hadn't said anything."
"Great," Severus muttered, bitterly.
Sirius squeezed his shoulder. "Let us know what happens, all right? We're here for you. I reckon that you could spend holidays at school or with us, if it came down to it."
Severus appreciated the gesture. Before the news of the divorce, it would have been more than he could have hoped for. But now...
"Maybe my grandparents could adopt me, if it came down to that." He sighed. "Almost wish I hadn't removed the scars and burns. But Madam Pomfrey knows, at least."
"Your father is a muggle, and a brute at that," Peter encouraged. "The adoption would go through easily if your mum started something with your father again."
That was true. Severus had options--if the worst came to pass.
He was both looking forward to and dreading returning home. He had to know what was going on, even if it turned out to be dreadful. But Severus knew he wouldn't see his friends for another month at best, and he wanted to enjoy the final hours.
His mother came around the same time as the others. There were no scars on her face, nor did anything seem amiss. She hugged Severus tightly when she saw him, and as soon as they said their goodbyes, she told him she'd invited Lily Evans to stay for two weeks.
"Her mother gave her money to spend in Hogsmeade, and extra for her books next year. I don't expect there to be a large number. The next volume from 'The Standard Book of Spells' and perhaps a title for your Defense lesson. You won't advance to intermediate books until your third year," she observed, as they entered the sitting room.
Severus nodded. "Thank you, Mum. I was hoping to be able to see Lily this summer."
"You're most welcome, Sevvie." She smiled at him. "Did you enjoy your time with your friends?"
"I did, only...is everything all right? With you?" he asked, quickly.
To his surprise, she laughed. "I knew I should have told you, but I didn't want to open it, and I didn't receive one..." His mum put a hand into one of her robes' pockets. "It came the day after you left."
Severus took the letter, willing his hands not to shake.
It was addressed the way muggle letters were, including a stamp. The return address included a town he'd never heard of.
The sender was Tobias Snape.
Notes:
Did you expect that? Let me know if you did!
I am still struggling a bit with this work, but I think I have an idea for the next chapter. As always, I would love to read constructive feedback and ideas for future chapters that aren't ship related--as those are set in stone!
Chapter 52
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus wasn't sure if he would rather open the letter or burn it. He stared at the handwriting of the man he'd grown to hate over the eleven and a half years of his life. Tobias Snape was finally gone...and now, here he was again.
"Did he write to you as well?" he asked, willing his voice not to shake.
But she just shook her head, placing an arm around his shoulders. "Only you, sweetheart."
Well, that was a relief. Better not to hear from the brute at all, but at least he had only contacted Severus. He stared at the envelope again.
"It's a letter, Sevvie. It won't hurt you," Eileen reminded him.
Severus had to chuckle at that. Muggles couldn't send a Howler without the aid of a witch or wizard, and besides, the envelope wasn't red.
He was glad she hadn't suggested burning it. Whatever the letter contained, it would be better to read it and know, than not.
Perhaps, Severus wouldn't have done poorly in Ravenclaw...
"Would you...stay with me?" Severus asked her.
Eileen smiled gently. "Of course. I'll look away while you read it. If you wish to show it to me afterwards, you may do so."
"Thank you."
Severus rather tore open the envelope, feeling it didn't deserve the care of a letter from his mum or friends. As though reading his mind, or just sensing his emotions, Eileen chuckled slightly. Leaning again her, Severus began to read.
Dear Severus,
I'm writing this letter to you in the fall, but I won't send it until the summer. I expect your mother will insist upon your staying at school for your Christmas and Easter holidays to give her time to tell you, and if I send it before your summer holidays, she'll likely throw it out.
Your mother said you were sorted into the house known for bravery. That's a surprise, I admit. Never saw you as very brave. Her house, as you well know, was renowned for loyalty and cunning. Well, she has the second in spades. We told you that I found out your mum was a witch after I agreed to marry her. It might well have been--I don't quite recall--but it was after she got pregnant with you, forcing me to make an honest woman of her. I expected I loved her, and I still do.
Severus, you know by now that she forced a divorce. I may not have appreciated her lies over the years, but I would have stood by her. You know I always provided for the both of you, so I was shocked. But in your world, muggles like me are less than dirt. So there was no point in fighting it.
I still love you, son. You're probably very angry at your mother for taking apart the family. I don't blame you one bit. I've started seeing another woman, a real fine lady, and I expect I will propose before the year is out. But if you ever wish to live with us, instead of in that run down inn your mother is working at, just send word. You're my flesh and blood, and I will always care and provide for you.
With love,
Father
P.S. It's the end of June, so I reckon it's safe to send this. I don't know how you'll get it--I just hope one of your kind works at the post office. At any rate, Olivia Marcroft gave me her hand, and we married last month. She's a real lady, and would make a fine stepmother if you fancied living with us. She knows about what you are, and promises she won't hold it against you.
Severus read it twice, then a third time. He was crying by the time he was half finished, but they were tears of relief. Perhaps even amusement. The idea of him leaving his mum to live with someone who had brutally beat him simply for being born with magic! Or that he would live under the rule of a woman who would graciously accept his magic. Probably would have made Severus quit school and go to work in a mill or something in a few years. What an egotistical sod!
"Sevvie?"
"It's all right." He smiled, then wiped his face. "Read it if you like."
His mum took the letter, and began to read it. Soft peels of laughter came out of her after a moment, and soon, she was shaking with giggles. Eileen needed to take a moment to get her breath back.
"Oh, mercy!" she murmured. Then, she poked him. "Fancy living with your father and his new wife, eh?"
Severus made a disgusted face which only sent her into another laughing fit. He straightened, realizing he'd been slumped over in a bending position, and stretched. A moment later, he felt his mum's hands on his shoulders, carefully kneading away the tension.
"Ohh, that feels nice," Severus murmured.
"I'm glad. Stay still, now," she instructed, gently, as she continued to knead.
Severus obeyed with ease, feeling his breaths coming more easily, the tension fading until he felt nearly boneless.
"How do you think he sent it, anyway?" he murmured.
"Oh, our kind works in all lines of work. No doubt, they recognized your name and slipped it to an owl. Or the address, as it was our old home. And the Ministry does keep records," Eileen murmured.
"He doesn't know where we live now?" Severus clarified, turning slightly.
"No." She placed her hands on his shoulders. "I promise. He won't as long as you don't write back, and even then, he can't visit. Hogsmeade won't ever allow muggles, you know."
"I don't plan to write back. I want to forget he ever existed," Severus admitted.
"I can't say I blame you. Shall I burn the letter?" Eileen asked.
"Yes. Please," Severus added, now closing his eyes, suddenly exhausted.
He was aware of a blanket being tucked around him, his body being laid dry on the couch.
"Get some rest, honey," she said, softly. "Lunch will be waiting when you're up."
Lily was scheduled to arrive by the Floo network on August 5th. She wouldn't be staying in Severus's room, of course, but in an equally large one next door. Eileen and Pinky spent a great deal of time redecorating the room so that she would feel comfortable. This turned out to be rather difficult, as none of the three knew her tastes very well. Severus had been in her room a few times, and knew that she had a pink bedspread and rather frilly pillows that she didn't seem to dislike. But, as his mum pointed out, her parents could have picked those out.
It was a good thing that witches and wizards could change colors and textures numerous times, instead of having to buy new ones. The two changed everything over several times, but Severus rather thought they enjoyed it. In the end, the bedspread was purple with matching pillows. The curtains were a floral pattern with lighter colored flowers. The furniture remained the same, only Eileen enhanced the softness of the armchairs and couch. She also added cushions to the window seats, making them rich blue velvet. The room would have been far too girly for Severus's personal taste, but he didn't have to sleep there.
"It looks really nice, Mum," he told her, as she gave the room a once over.
Eileen laughed and hugged him tightly. "Perhaps it's silly, but I do want Lily to feel comfortable. And as I never met her properly...not that this is your fault, dear," she added, quickly.
"She's great. Very lively," Severus said. "And talented, too. She had a bit of control over her magic when she was nine, and her marks were among the best of our year."
"Muggle Borns often excel in that way. Not coming from magic, they work the hardest," she mused.
"Lily definitely works hard," Severus agreed. "Although she wasn't happy about the amount of work we had for the Easter holidays."
"I agree entirely." Eileen made a sympathetic face. "A few times, students tried a strike. Simply didn't hand it in. They received zeros and detention. I expect that the same thing would happen even if everyone rebelled."
Severus wasn't surprised. He'd read about previous headmasters of Hogwarts. Dumbledore had officially removed corporal punishment for offenses, much to Filch's chagrin, but even he wouldn't abolish holiday homework. A pity, really.
Lily arrived promptly at ten on August 5th. Considering it was her first ever trip by Floo, Severus thought she'd managed reasonably well. She arrived at the correct address, for one thing, and with only some soot on her clothes. She stumbled slightly upon emerging from the fireplace, holding her trunk with one arm.
"Hello, dear," Eileen said, gently taking Lily's free arm in hers to steady her. Lily smiled in relief, but before she could speak, Severus's mother went on. "Are you feeling all right? Oh, your robes...do allow me..."
She Vanished the soot from the Muggle Born's robes, then took her trunk.
Or tried to. The Feather Light Charm one of the older students had applied at the end of term had faded off, and Lily could hardly reapply it.
"Oof! Wait just a minute..." Eileen laughed, then pointed her wand at it, and then smiled. "That's better! How are you, Lily, dear? Feeling all right? Floo can be rather dizzying."
Lily took a deep breath, then nodded. "Yes, ma'am, I'm all right now. It was rather a strange way to travel!"
Eileen, still smiling, set the trunk down, then hugged her. Lily looked a bit surprised, at first, but immediately smiled and returned it.
"It's lovely to meet you," she answered, once Lily had let go. "Properly, that is. Severus has told me a great deal about you, but until recently...well, I am glad you were able to finally visit."
"Likewise," Lily smiled.
"I expect you'll want to get settled in properly, so Severus can show you to your room. I wasn't entirely sure what you liked, but if there are any changes you would prefer, please let me know," Eileen went on, rather nervously. "I was thinking that, afterwards, we could have lunch or tea?"
"That sounds lovely. Thank you, Mrs..." Lily trailed off.
"Prince, dear," Eileen said, gently. "I've resumed my maiden name."
"Oh, that's good." Lily blushed.
But her awkwardness seemed to reassure Severus's mother. She gave her another gentle smile. "It is. Very." Then, she glanced at Severus. "Well, you know the way, Sev!" she laughed.
"Yes, Mum," Severus answered, chuckling a bit. Turning to Lily, he added, "It's this way. Shall I take your trunk?"
"It's not heavy, now...well, all right," she amended.
Probably wonders if it's a pure blood custom, Severus thought, a bit amused.
He took hold of the trunk, and led the way.
Notes:
Tobias strikes me as a character with zero self awareness or empathy, you know? A man who beats his son to the point of scarring (although I don't believe in any kind of physical punishment on children) is going to be a total jerk. To use G rated language. So, I wanted to wrap up THAT storyline, although I might have Sev mention it to Lily.
Whether Lily ever met Eileen remains unclear in canon. Personally, I think there's more room to believe they haven't, so I am going with that angle. I also want to show that Eileen isn't someone who thinks of Muggle Borns as inferior.
I figure the next chapter will focus on their time together and exploring Hogsmeade.
In other fanfic news, I completed "The Guardian" and am working on the first sequel. It's my first Severitis fic, so if that's something you're interested in, please check it out!
Chapter 53
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Your room is this way," Severus told her, rather unnecessarily, as they walked upstairs. "It-it wouldn't be proper for us to share a room, but mine's right next to yours."
"I don't mind," Lily answered, from a few steps behind him. "I wouldn't have been uncomfortable sharing a room, but I expect your mum and mine would feel awkward about it."
The way Lily ended her statement made Severus think she wanted to say more, but she went silent. In fact, she didn't speak again until after they were in her new bedroom.
"Oh, it's lovely!" she murmured, grinning widely. "It's so beautiful, Sev! And window seats...I always wanted my room to have them. The female dormitory has them, you know, and they're just darling! And the colors. Your mum did such a great job. Tell her thank you-I will, of course, but make sure you do. And it's so big! It's nearly half the size of the female dormitory." She spun in a circle with her arms out, her robes billowing around her. "It's beautiful."
Severus chuckled as he put her trunk down. "Yeah, our bedrooms are huge. Makes my old one look like a closet-a wardrobe, really. James's is even larger, though, and I reckon our dormitory could fit into Sirius's bedroom."
Lily sat down on the window seat, and after a pause, Severus joined her. "Not that I mind, but why are they so large?"
"Status," Severus answered, shortly. "Pure bloods used to own one main home, and later generations would add onto it. Each one basically had a house of their own. 'Cept it didn't stay that way-I reckon couples wanted space after they got married-but the tradition of adding onto an existing home never went away. And it's not like it is in the muggle world, with taxes and all that. Once you own your home, it's yours until you decide to sell it, and most never do. Besides, we can add on floors and the like by magic-it's not as though we need to hire builders."
"But you-your mum..." Lily faltered.
"I don't know, exactly, how she managed to buy this house. I reckon the blood line died off, or they had moved on to other houses. She just told me that she'd bought it, and that was that," Severus explained.
"Yes, but how did she have the money?"
Oh, that.
"When she reconnected with her parents, they insisted on giving her a bunch of the money they would have as an adult if she hadn't left," Severus explained. "She was expecting me before she was married, and was afraid that if they knew, they'd make her Vanish me. So, she left before they could find out, and we saw how well that turned out." His face contorted. "Not that she could have known for sure," Severus added, generously. "After she left my father, she sent them an owl or something, and they were just thrilled that she was all right. We visit at least once a week, except when I was staying at James's house."
"Then, you're rich, now." Lily looked around the room.
"Yeah." Severus laughed. "I reckon it's still hard for us to believe. We're not buying gold cauldrons by the dozen or anything like that, though. Mum got a job in the apothecary, brewing potions with Slughorn and some other wizard-I forget his name. Not because she has to, but I reckon that she doesn't fancy just sitting around all day."
"Mum doesn't work outside the home," Lily countered. "She says just raising us is a full-time job."
Severus rolled his eyes. "Raising Tuney is more than a full-time job."
"Ugh, tell me about it!" Lily closed her eyes. "She's gotten even worse. Do you know, she wouldn't even touch the box of chocolates I had delivered to them from Honeydukes? Mum and Dad practically inhaled them, they were so good. But Tuney acted like they were-were ear wax flavored beans."
"She's jealous. No, she's envious," Severus corrected himself. "Because you have magic and get to go away to a brilliant school, and she's hardly an average student, and can't even transfigure a match into a needle. And instead of being gracious about it and happy for you, she's a prat."
"That's more or less what Mum and Dad say. Even Dad's getting fed up with her. They were pretty understanding at first, kept saying how hard it must be for her, but they also see how hard I'm trying, and how dreadful she's being. Anyway." Lily just shook her head. "Oh, can I ask you a question, Sev?"
"Sure, go ahead," he replied.
"Why did your mum send the invitation? Instead of you?" she asked, puzzled.
"Oh, it's a tradition amongst pure blood families. When it's the first invite, the parents send one to the family of the child. Even if it's been all but settled by the kids, it's still considered proper." Severus paused, trying to recall what his mother had told him about this. "I reckon it stems from the days of arranged marriages, although they've all but died out for most of us."
"Oh." Lily looked a bit pleased. "Then, it was a compliment?"
"Definitely," Severus reassured her. "Mum isn't one of those witches who thinks that blood matters, but she's still traditional in some ways. Like that."
Lily grinned. "She seems nice, your mum."
"I can't complain." Severus returned the smile. "Anything in particular you want to do after you unpack and have tea?"
"I suppose you expect me to say explore the village," Lily grinned, "and I do want to. But I expect it would be better for me to learn my way around your castle."
"It's hardly the size of Hogwarts, and we don't use half of it," Severus protested, "but all right. I suppose you don't fancy trying to find the loo by your bedroom and end up in the library."
Lily giggled. "Precisely...wait, you have a library?"
Severus gave her trunk a pointed look. "After you unpack, perhaps? I, er, reckon you don't want my help there."
She blushed. "Best not. You're next door, then? I can knock on your door when I'm finished?"
Severus nodded, then rose. "Just don't get lost!" he called, as he left the room.
"You're lucky I can't hex you!" Lily called after him.
Actually, she could. But he would wait after tea before revealing that.
Notes:
Short chapter, I know. But while I can have covered more, I plan to do that in the next one. I plan to write the next one or two from Lily's POV, for reasons you will see when you read it.
In case you didn’t understand the last line and don’t want to wait for the next chapter…Dumbledore reveals to Harry in the sixth book that the Ministry of Magic can only detect magic performed in a home, not who’s doing it. So, when Dobby performed the Hover Charm, they thought it was Harry. As a result, a household with at least one magical adult would not receive a notice even if underage witches and wizards were doing magic IN the home. (Outside is a horse of another color…)
This means that Severus can do magic undetected, as well as all of the other Marauders. It also means that Lily, as long as she’s IN the Prince home, can also do magic without detection.
Sev’s going to clue her in, but not right after she playfully threatens to hex him!
Chapter 54
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lily couldn't fall asleep.
Her bed was very comfortable, perhaps even more so than her bed at Hogwarts. The sheets were incredibly soft, too, and her nightgown felt familiar on her skin. Yet, despite the room being as close to perfect as she could imagine, she suddenly felt dreadfully homesick.
Up until last year, she'd never been away from home for more than a night at a time. Her school friends had invited her to sleepovers to celebrate their birthdays, and she'd always gone and had a lovely time. Going away to Hogwarts had been quite a difference from being away from home for a mere night--and it was so much farther away, besides. But all of her roommates were experiencing this for the first time, and that rather provided them with common ground. Never mind that Lily was the sole Muggle-Born, her four roommates had accepted her as one of their own. Besides, only two came from pure blood families...
She sighed. The summer holidays, up to this point, had felt rather isolating. With Tun--Petunia still being rotten and having loads of summer homework (although this, admittedly, rather had its benefits...including the look of horror on her sister's face when she opened one, or worked on an essay using parchment and a quill...) her mum had been her only reliable companion. None of her friends lived closer than an hour away by car--not that any had cars--and Severus, of course, was no longer her neighbor. She was happy for him, of course, but it had been disappointing to learn that they could no longer walk to the park to meet up.
Lily could hardly reach out to her muggle friends without creating a bunch of lies about her new school, and besides, none of them had stopped by since their school term ended. It was as though Lily had moved permanently.
To rub salt in the wound, Petunia seemed to have become extremely popular at her secondary school. She had friends over at all hours, or was with them at the shops or the movies. Lily knew that she was popular at Hogwarts, but it didn't seem to matter, now.
And then, there were the changes, as her mum called them. Less than a week after returning home, she'd gotten her first period. At least, she'd known what to expect. A couple of girls in her year had already gotten them, and besides, her mum had given her THAT talk when she'd turned ten. Lily had begun wearing a bra, too. It wasn't terribly uncomfortable, but she was certainly aware of it, and always happy to have it off at the end of the day.
Lily couldn't tell any of this to Severus. Not the girly stuff, obviously, and certainly not that she missed him, now that he wasn't a neighbor. And she was genuinely happy for him--she hadn't known the extent of the abuse Tobias Snape had inflicted on his son, not until she learned he'd sought out Madam Pomfrey's aid to remove the scars.
She shivered. Her own parents didn't even believe in spanking. No, it was selfish to wish Severus and his family was living elsewhere, just because her girl friends didn't live nearby.
And now, she thought miserably, I'm back in their world for two weeks, and in Hogsmeade of all places, and of course, I would get homesick. I'm so stupid!
She was just wiping the tears from her eyes when there was a light knock on the door.
Lily swallowed hard. What could Severus want? Had he heard her? But she hadn't been sobbing, just a bit tearful. Ought she ignore it?
No, this was a magical house, and faking sleep probably wouldn't work.
"Who is it?" she asked, instead.
"It's me, honey," came a soft, female voice. "May I come in?"
"Sure," Lily answered.
Because, what could she say?
Mrs. Prince opened the door, and then lit the light. Lily saw Severus's mother wearing a white dressing gown, which covered most of her light blue nightgown, and was carrying a mug.
"I was a bit concerned when the wards alerted me," she began, softly, walking over to Lily's bed and placing the mug on her bedside table, "and rather thought I ought to check in."
"Wards?" Lily echoed, sitting up in her bed.
Mrs. Prince glanced at the armchair closest to Lily's bed. "May I, dear?"
Lily nodded. "All right." After a pause, she added, sheepishly, "Yes, ma'am."
Mrs. Prince gave Lily's hand a squeeze, then sat down. Lily couldn't help but notice how straight she sat. She'd been like that at tea and at dinner, as well. She always looked comfortable--she was smiling, anyway--but she rather put Lily's posture to shame. And even now, on an armchair, Mrs. Prince sat bolt upright.
"What did you ask? Oh yes, wards. Well, all parents put protective wards outside the rooms of their children, to detect any physical danger. Up to a certain age, they place ones to detect any distress. Or even unhappiness," she amended. "I have them up for both Severus and yourself, and was a bit concerned when yours went off."
Lily sighed. "I didn't realize it was that bad. Really, I was just rather homesick. Silly, I know. I've been at Hogwarts for months on end."
"Ah, but your roommates never were away from home for so long before then," Mrs. Prince reminded her, softly, "and this is your first time here, which can hardly be said for myself or Severus."
Lily managed a smile. "Everything is lovely, and you've both made me feel welcome. I hope you don't think I sound ungrateful..."
"Not at all!" Mrs. Prince squeezed Lily's hand again. "I can tell that you're a very sweet girl, Lily."
Petunia would have set her straight, Lily thought, only she's there.
"Thank you."
The woman nodded at the mug. "I find hot chocolate often helps. I asked Pinky to make more than usual--I usually have a mug before bed. Tastes far better than tea," she said, with a laugh.
Smiling, Lily nodded, took hold of the mug, and sipped from it. The familiar beverage was delicious...and seemed to warm her from the inside out.
"Lily," Mrs. Prince began, after she swallowed, sounding tentative.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"I...rather wanted to thank you."
Lily frowned, confused. "Thank me?" she repeated. "For what?"
"You see," Mrs. Prince continued, and she looked almost uncomfortable, "I have lived apart from the wizarding world until recently. I tried to give Severus a sound education, but I was unaware of recent events concerning He Who Must Not Be Named. I hope he will be stopped before long, as he's worse than Grindelwald, as my parents remember..."
"I see," Lily said, wondering where this was heading.
She'd never heard of Grindelwald, or was it Grindlewald? She would ask about it. And who was He Who Must Not Be Named?
"Well, I was in Slytherin, and while there's always been a bit of a bias there towards those from magical families, I never experienced it. Mind, my family wasn't an exceptionally old wizarding family, but we were very well connected. At any rate," she went on, "I rather encouraged Severus to, shall we say, aim for Slytherin. I had genuinely thought he would be happiest there. But in light of what I have learned, I have come to the unhappy conclusion that support for You Know Who has become rather concentrated in that house over the past several years. Severus can think for himself, mind you, but I am rather relieved that he's away from such a source of temptation. Oh, I know," Mrs. Prince went on, "it wasn't entirely you. Severus told me everything. But he wouldn't have considered Gryffindor if you hadn't been sorted there, and so, I am grateful to you, dear."
"Oh. Well, as you said, I don't know how much influence I had, but you're welcome all the same," Lily managed, entirely nonplussed.
"And if there's anything you need, or anything troubling you, honey, please let me know," Mrs. Prince added. "I want you to feel welcome here."
"Thank you," Lily answered, and meant it.
She finished the rest of hot chocolate, and did feel better afterwards. Mrs. Prince seemed very kind, after all, and welcoming.
Before Lily fell asleep, she determined to ask Severus about the rest of the story behind his Sorting.
And about those other dark wizards...
She'd rather thought he'd changed his mind about the glories Slytherin promised after the hat put her in Gryffindor.
Notes:
Severus told Sirius about what he told the hat, and the story made its way to the rest of the Marauders. (Of all people, Remus deserves the most credit for Sev not going to Slytherin!) But I never included a scene featuring Severus telling Lily, so I decided in this chapter that he didn't. And Lily, being more than a little self-centered, gave the credit to herself. Or mostly herself.
Next up: Lily discovers something she finds unsettling about the wizarding world.
Chapter 55
Notes:
This chapter continues from Lily's POV, and is the final one for the time being. I'm going to put out a warning that this chapter delves into the subject of corsetry, in a G (PG TOPS) manner. This entails a discussion between Lily and Eileen about their usage, and a scene of Lily trying one on for the first time.
If this is a "trigger" for you and you previously enjoyed the story, you may wish to cease reading here, and pick up at the next chapter.
I must emphasize the following. Given a few negative comments when the topic came up in previous chapters, I'm telling you right now that ANY rude or hostile comments will NOT be allowed. Questions are permitted, of course, but if you're going to be rude, prepare to be blocked.
This is your final warning. IF you feel at all uncomfortable with reading what I've described, and you still want to follow the fic, be assured that you can skip the following chapter and not miss out on the larger storyline.
Still reading? Onto the next chapter...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lily did not ask Severus during the first week of her visit. While they spoke of school, it was a stretch to ask about his sorting. They were, after all, in Gryffindor.
They had passed a very enjoyable week in the village. She thought he was very lucky to be able to live there, and have access to the village for another full year before anyone else.
"You'll be an expert before long, Sev," she mused, as they enjoyed lollipops from Honeydukes. "Perhaps you can give tours."
Severus rolled his eyes, but Lily could see a small smile on his face. "The main attractions are Honeydukes, Zonkos, and the Shrieking Shack. Not everyone cares where to buy the best quills or see the post office."
"Oh, but the owls for local post are adorable!" Lily nearly squealed. "They could fit in one hand, they're so tiny."
"Given the size of your letters, they would never be able to carry one," Severus teased.
Lily tried to scowl, but the mental image was too funny. "Imagine if Sirius Black had used one when he told his family that he was the first Black ever to go in a house other than Slytherin."
"She'd probably kill it," Severus replied, darkly.
"Did you meet her? When your mum and the other families had tea at James's house?" Lily asked.
"No." Severus frowned, not out of annoyance or anger, but in concentration. "Sirius's relatives did a lot of what muggles call 'damage control' to act as though Sirius being sorted into Gryffindor wasn't as bad as it appeared. We're all at least half-blood, and James Potter's family is respected pure bloods. If Sirius were ever to go into politics-not that he wants to-those connections could be better than those sorted into Slytherin from our year. Anyway," he concluded, "his parents went over to the Blacks just after school let out, and they didn't show up at ours."
Lily laughed. "Is everything in the wizarding world about politics?"
Severus shrugged. "When your family is an ancient as the Black one is, yeah. But you met my mum and my grandparents. They don't care about that sort of thing."
"Do many?"
Severus considered. "Enough to keep You Know Who in power."
"Who is he, anyway?"
"A dark wizard who's been in power the last couple of years, according to Mum," Severus answered.
"And Grindelwald?"
Severus frowned. "I never heard of him before. Where'd you hear his name?"
"From your mum, but she mentioned it in passing," Lily explained.
"I reckon we can look him up in the library. My mum's, or after we get back to school," Severus offered.
Lily nodded. "Do you mind if I ask you another question?"
They were sort of on the topic.
Severus nodded. "You can ask me anything, Lily."
Lily smirked. "How old were you when you were out of nappies?"
The look on his face was worth it. "Not like that!"
She rolled her eyes. "I was teasing, Sev."
"Good, because you'd have to hex me before I would tell you THAT!" Severus glowered at her.
"Oh, you were clearly born knowing how to use the loo," Lily teased.
"I swear, if you don't stop..." Severus made to stand, but Lily pulled him down.
"I'll stop, I promise," she managed through her giggles.
"All right." After a pause, Severus asked, rather cautiously, "What did you want to know?"
"How did you end up in Gryffindor? I mean, you were so intent on Slytherin," she added, feeling rather guilty for the first time.
Lily had taken it as unexpected that her best friend had ended up in her house, a lovely surprise gift. How it had occurred-well, she'd assumed that the hat simply saw more of a lion in Severus than a snake. And it had worked out very well for him, after all. Even the two boys who had mocked him on the train had ended up his friends.
"Oh, that." Severus grinned, rather mischievously. "I asked-demanded, almost-for the hat to put me there."
"You asked for Gryffindor?" Lily repeated, thinking she'd misheard him. Or misunderstood. "Why?"
"Partly because the hat already placed you there, and Remus as well, and snakes and lions don't generally get along," Severus admitted. "I also reasoned it was the easiest way to keep tabs on Sirius and James."
Lily bit off a piece of her lollipop as she reflected. "But wouldn't you rather be as far away from them as possible?"
"Sure, if you think they'll leave you alone. I wasn't certain. Besides, as I stated, you were already there, and so was Remus, and we were on good terms with him." Severus shrugged. "I figured if I was in Gryffindor, I'd have a couple of allies or friends, and James and Sirius might think twice before hexing someone in their own house. And it worked. The next day, they asked if we could start over. Not that I didn't stay on my guard for some time." Severus made a face that Lily couldn't decipher. "I reckon I came to trust Sirius first, a bit. After he saw my scars and what an oaf my father was."
Lily squeezed his shoulder. "Your father should never have done that to you, Sev."
"I know," Severus muttered, face darkening.
Lily wrapped an arm around his frame. "It was really brave of you to demand Gryffindor, and I'll glad that it turned out."
Severus chuckled. "My mum said it was Slytherin of me when I told her."
"It was a bit of both," Lily allowed, with a laugh.
After they finished their lollipops, they set off exploring a part of Hogsmeade less densely populated by shops. As a village exclusively for witches and wizards, there were lots of houses of various sizes that people owned or rented.
"There's a fresh fruit stand over there," Lily noted, when they were still a ways off. "Have you ever been there?"
"No, but I reckon Mum sends Pinky there. Or to the grocery shop," Severus mused. "I got my hair cut earlier at that hairdresser on the other side of that set of shops. She did a good job, but I'll need another one before the summer is out."
Lily nodded. His hair was a good deal shorter than at the end of term, where it fell past his shoulders. But it was still rather long. It had always been so, and she'd assumed her best friend just liked it that way. Until she'd learned that Severus had kept it long to hide the scars and the burn marks inflicted by his father. A surge of righteous anger had filled her, when she'd found out the truth, and she was grateful to this day that Tobias Snape was no longer part of their lives.
They continued to walk at a leisurely pace, but Lily felt her good mood evaporate within minutes. They were in full view of the fruit stand, and she could see the hairdresser on the other side. But right in the middle, with a very clear sign on top, stated that this was a Frenchwoman's shop that sold corsets.
Corsets! What century were they living in?
She must have looked shocked, because Severus followed her gaze. Then, he reddened.
"Let's, er, let's walk over that way," he muttered. "I think there's a shop that sells quills..."
Lily didn't trust herself to speak, and simply nodded. They walked at a far more brisk manner until the shop was well out of view. Unsettling questions filled her head. Were all witches expected to wear them? If the expectation was there, would it apply to Lily immediately, for she had just begun to wear a bra, or was the expectation in place only for adults? Were they an unwritten rule in the Hogwarts dress code?
Or, Lily hoped fervently, perhaps it was merely one of those vintage shops, rather like the vintage ones her own mum occasionally frequented when she had a hankering to find longer skirts, or antique hats, or costumes for Halloween for her daughters?
She'd have to ask her roommates. They'd know-hopefully, they'd tell her that no one ever wore those breath stealing devices, because Lily had been taught in History that's exactly what they were, and that woman who owned the shop simply sold them to the occasional VERY old witch who had never received the information that breathing was healthy.
It then occurred to Lily, although she'd need to work up all of her courage to do so, that she could ask Mrs. Prince. Sev's mum was a pure blood, after all. Yes, she'd do that, after dinner-no, after they'd said good night. She wouldn't do it in front of Severus-why embarrass him further?
"Have you started the Transfiguration assignment?" she asked, even though she knew they had both finished it within the first week of their holidays.
Immediately upon returning to Severus's house, he explained that he wanted to answer a letter from Remus.
"He sent one a few days ago, and I keep forgetting about it," he explained, sheepishly. "Mum, do you mind keeping Lily company for a bit?"
For a moment, Lily thought she might protest, but suddenly, she seemed to understand. She nodded, just a bit, and smiled good naturedly at her son.
"Of course, if Lily doesn't mind keeping an old mother company," she replied, smiling.
"You're not old!" they both protested, and her smile widened.
"Thank you. Now, off with you, love," she insisted, pulling Severus into a hug.
He initially made a show of protesting his mother's hug, but Lily noticed that he was smiling after it ended.
Then, Severus was off, leaving Lily alone in the sitting room with his mum. Lily thought that she must not look like herself-she certainly wasn't smiling-and Mrs. Prince gave her a rather concerned as she took a seat on the plush couch, then beckoned for Lily to sit beside her.
"Are you all right, honey?" Mrs. Prince asked, gently.
Over the past week, they had rather gotten to know each other. Sort of. Lily and Severus spent most of their time together, but they did eat breakfast and dinner with his mum, and she could be inquisitive and talkative, in an manner that didn't feel intruding.
Lily could see that Severus's mother was a kind, understanding woman. Lily wondered if she would ever marry again, because she was certainly pretty and kind enough, but she didn't think it would be polite to ask. Perhaps, after being hurt by Tobias Snape, she'd rather not risk it again.
Then, of course, there was Severus to think of.
"I-Severus and I were exploring Hogsmeade, and-it's silly," Lily murmured, looking at the floor. "I overreacted, and now Severus must think I'm crazy."
Mrs. Prince drew an arm around Lily's shoulders, and Lily was grateful for it.
"Lily, dear, whatever you saw, it drained the color from your face. I'd like to help you, if I possibly can," she said, gently.
"It's-it's not exactly..." Lily faltered.
Yes, she was making perfect sense.
"Lily, I'm going to ask you something personal, and you needn't answer if you don't wish to." She paused, and when Lily nodded, Mrs. Prince went on, in her gentle voice. "Have you begun to bleed?"
To bleed.
Oh, periods.
Did she think Lily had just gotten hers today?
Well, yes, that would certainly have been embarrassing. She managed a small smile.
"Not today, ma'am. I did start my-my cycles-earlier this year," Lily explained. "I'm not due for my next one for another two weeks."
Relief-or perhaps understanding-registered on the lady's face. "Will you permit me to ask another question?" At Lily's nod, Mrs. Prince continued, in her soft, reassuring manner, "You have begun, then, to wear a bra?"
Lily nodded. "But...will I-will I be allowed to keep wearing one?" she managed to get out.
"Of course!" Mrs. Prince spoke emphatically, then hugged Lily. It reassured her, but Lily immediately saw that the woman's frame was not soft like her mother's.
"Dear child, is that what alarmed you?" At Lily's nod, she went on in a gentle, yet emphatic manner. "The sole school wardrobe requirement are your black robes. Whatever you wear during your free time, and whatever you wear under your robes, is entirely up to you." Mrs. Prince smiled that gentle smile of hers, then stopped for a moment, allowing Lily to react. When Lily let out a deep breath, and managed a small smile, she continued, "It's not, nor to my knowledge has it ever been, a school requirement for girls to wear corsets." She gave Lily's shoulders a gentle squeeze. "With that in mind, dear, most girls with magical family members wear them. In a year, perhaps even next term, you will likely see at least a couple of your roommates wearing them."
"But that's horrible!" Lily gasped, her relief diminishing a bit.
Mrs. Prince merely chuckled. "Why don't you tell me what you learned about them?"
"Er." Well, Mrs. Prince had asked, after all. Lily thought back to what she'd been told in school. "T-they prevent women from being able to breathe very well. Women tried to get down to eighteen inches or smaller, and often fainted as a result. They were miserable and could hardly move around or do anything," Lily summarized. "Some even died."
Mrs. Prince rose, and for a moment, Lily was afraid she'd highly offended her. But she was smiling as she pulled back the fabric along the waist of her periwinkle robes to reveal a waist that, Mrs. Prince then demonstrated, she could nearly encircle in both hands. Lily gasped.
"I have a fourteen inch waist. Yes, fourteen." Mrs. Prince waited for Lily to take this in. Then, rather emphatically, she took a deep breath. "As you can see, honey, I can breathe deeply with ease, and I assure you that it's not due to magic that I don't faint daily." At Lily's small smile, Mrs. Prince grinned back.
"Did you-always find it to be-bearable?" Lily asked.
Severus's mother nodded. "I began wearing a corset when I was thirteen years old, slowly at first, just a few hours at a time, that took me in by two inches, until I was fully entirely at ease. I was never out of breath, mind, but new corsets start out very stiff until they adapt to your body. Your body must adapt to them, as well. The upright posture is not one that most girls are used to standing or sitting in for full days at once. Now," she continued, speaking in a gentle, almost motherly manner, "once I was entirely at ease with wearing one all day, I began to wear one at night. This was my choice-my mother allowed myself and my sister the choice of wearing them only during the daytime hours, or wearing them at nights as well. She did insist that we wait until turning fourteen to begin wearing one at night. I will say that this, too, took a few days to adjust to, but I soon found it so comfortable I never wanted to go back." She smiled, no doubt recalling fond memories. "You may be curious about how I became so small with ease?" At Lily's nod, she went on. "As my body became increasingly more comfortable in my corsets, my natural waist became smaller. By the time I finished my seventh year at Hogwarts, I had achieved a fourteen inch waist. With comfort," she added, pointedly. "I had yet to faint or feel uncomfortable past the adjustment period of a new corset during this time. I did cease lacing during my later months of carrying Severus. I rather wished at the time I could have continued, because Severus was a very large baby, and I would have welcomed the back support, but Tobias didn't think it was wise, and I did as he requested."
She released the fabric of her robes, then sat next to Lily, and tentatively placed a hand on hers. "I don't doubt that some girls in my time were uncomfortable, as well as muggles before corsetry went out of style for them," Mrs. Prince added, gently. "Especially in the past, there were always mothers demanded faster progression than was comfortable. Of course, and I speak from experience as a Slytherin, girls often compete with each other, and can place love of beauty over comfort. Not that fainting was a regular occurrence in my particular year...My point, honey, is that corsets, by themselves, are hardly devices of torture."
Lily felt her face redden. "I'm sorry, ma'am."
She felt Mrs. Prince gently take her face in her hands. "You did nothing wrong, and I dare say you taken aback. But you understand, dear, now?"
Lily nodded. "I-yes. But, to be fully honest, I don't wish to wear one."
"I assure you, Lily, you will never have to." She wrapped an arm around Lily's shoulders, and Lily found herself leaning into the older woman. "Besides, Madam doesn't sell to girls under seventeen without a parent present, or a signed note. I dare say that had you entered the store, she would have told you such, rather than forced you into an eighteen inch corset then and there." Her eyes were teasing, and suddenly, the image was so bizarre that Lily couldn't help but laugh. "With all that said, Lily, I do have my old ones, and should you wish to try one on, just to see how it feels, you may. But by no means feel obliged to do so," Mrs. Prince added, rather quickly, watching her.
Studying her, rather.
Lily considered. An hour ago, she would have run in the opposite direction, perhaps reconsidered her friendship with Severus, at such an offer. Now, hearing it explained so logically, and knowing that it was her choice, would always be her choice...
Yes, she still felt rather mixed about the idea of ever putting such a formidable undergarment against her body. On the other hand, it sounded as though what she'd learned in History had been a bunch of nonsense (and come to think about it, bras were a fairly new invention, so women had needed to wear something before then, and they had managed to stay alive and have kids...). Mrs. Prince had calmed her worries, but she didn't want to switch over. But trying one on...Lily could only imagine what Petunia would say-but, she had to admit, this, too, had some appeal.
Besides, now, she was rather curious about what one would feel like, and better to do so now, under the relative ease of her best friend's mother, than under her roommates.
"I think I'd like to try. If-if you don't-make it very tight," Lily added, quickly.
"Oh, I won't! I can start you off with as little as an inch, and just say the word, and I'll take it off," Mrs. Prince promised. Then, giving Lily's shoulders a light squeeze, she added, with a smile, "And yes, you will still have enough breath to ask."
It was, Lily realized about fifteen minutes later, a bit more complicated than simply putting the undergarment on, and Mrs. Prince pulling on the laces. Mrs. Prince had Lily use her own bathroom (twice the size of Lily's at the Prince house, and at least four times the size of her own parents'...) to get ready while Mrs. Prince waited in her bedroom. Lily needed to discard her robes, of course, and then put on something that looked rather like a nightgown? Only, once on, it reached a little below her knees instead of her ankles. It felt so soft against her skin! Lily thought it might be worth being out of breath just to be able to wear this all day.
"I rather like this," she said, rather shyly, when she opened the bathroom door. "I've never worn anything so soft."
"Isn't it? It's called a chemise. Some shops now sell them so that they reach your ankles, but I'm rather used to the older style." She studied Lily. "Good, it fits. Not too snug around your shoulders?" When Lily shook her head, Mrs. Prince smiled. "Lovely. I'm glad my mother kept all my old clothes and such after I left..." She shook her head, as though to discard unpleasant thoughts. Or memories. "Yes, I see that you're about the same height as I was when I started out. Good. Are you ready, honey?"
Lily nodded, summoning her Gryffindor courage. "I'm ready, ma'am."
The older woman seemed to understand. "Why don't you have a look at it, first?" She smiled, a bit cheekily. "It won't jump out and squeeze you of its own accord."
Lily smiled.
It was far flatter than she would have expected. Not that it looked nothing like the pictures in her History books, just more...innocuous. It was beautiful, too. Embroidered flowers covered the front, and a few decorative ribbons lined the top, creating a small bow in the middle. The clasps at the front were the most formidable bit, but really, if they were on her shoes or as part of a winter coat, Lily likely wouldn't have thought much about it. She turned the corset around, and yes, there were the laces that could be pulled. Fourteen eyelets on each side held them, and Lily once again thought it wasn't unlike the ones on her shoes.
No, the corset didn't look very terrifying, and whoever made it had put a great deal of work into it. Besides, it had been Mrs. Prince's first one, and she'd clearly enjoyed wearing it...
Lily handled it back to Severus's mum. "All right, I expect I'm ready."
She gave Lily another hug. "I promise to lace you in very slowly, and I reiterate, the moment you want it off, it comes off."
Lily nodded. "Thank you."
"I suppose," Mrs. Prince added, "I ought to measure your waist, first. Do you mind? I'll use my wand, of course."
"I don't mind," Lily assured her.
After standing as straight as she could, Mrs. Prince quickly traced her wand around Lily's frame-twice, just to be certain.
"Twenty-three inches, same as I was when I began. Very well, that means we'll take you down to twenty-two..."
The clasps had to be undone first, and then the laces loosened enough for it to be placed around Lily's frame. She was glad that Mrs. Prince clearly knew what she was doing, because the whole process seemed rather complex. Still, Lily paid attention, because, well, if there was ever a dance or something, and she found it bearable to wear one...maybe...
Then, she felt it around her, still very loose, not remotely constricting her breathing. Lily was beginning to feel a little excited...still very apprehensive and a bit anxious, as well, but Lily had the small hope that wearing this corset might be a-dare she frame it in her mind-relatively pleasant experience?
Mrs. Prince spoke up again. "Yes, this is a reasonably good fit. Not constructed precisely with your frame in mind, but I dare say your figure isn't terribly different than mine as a girl. Ready?" At Lily's nod, Mrs. Prince went on. "Stand as straight as you can, honey, and take a good, deep breath. Oh, hold it in, honey! Good, like that. And now I'll pull...a bit more...there, that's one inch." Lily saw her take out her wand again. "Yes, twenty-two exactly. How does it feel?"
Even though Mrs. Prince had gone slowly-Lily expected-there was only so long you could take to pull in someone's waist by an inch, or so Lily supposed. Lily had been aware of the pulling and light, then rather moderate, pressure around her frame, but before she could fully process it, Mrs. Prince had tied off the laces. Now, wearing a corset at a one inch reduction, Lily took a moment to gauge just how it felt.
Well, there was certainly an increase of warmth around her chest, and yes, the light pressure that wasn't unlike a hug. Tentatively, Lily let out her breath she'd still been holding, and then, carefully, took in another. Relief filled her as she saw that she could do so with ease. She experimented with another deep breath, then letting it out, and, yes, it was as easy-or nearly as easy-to do so as ever. She smiled. Lily now felt fully aware of the undergarment around her...holding up her breasts a bit, and, yes, it was rather hugging her entire frame, and that part was her favorite. After all, who didn't enjoy a good hug?
It felt more than bearable. It felt...nice.
"It's actually quite comfortable," Lily admitted, as much to herself as to Mrs. Prince. "It doesn't hurt, or pinch, and I don't feel faint at all."
Mrs. Prince laughed. "You don't say?" she asked, rather playfully.
Lily giggled, still found she could breathe with ease upon doing so, and smiled with ease. "All right. I admit that it's not a torture device."
"Not as long as it's made to your measurements and you don't have your house elf or friends or mother take you in several inches on the first day," Mrs. Prince pointed out, smiling. "Two inches is the standard starting point for beginners. That's something muggles and our kind both agree upon."
"But this is only one inch," Lily pointed out. "I expect that I'm not getting the full experience..."
"Would you like me to take you in an extra inch?" Mrs. Prince asked, softly.
Lily considered, and decided if she was going to do the thing, she might as well do it properly. "As you said, you can loosen it or take it off?" At her nod, Lily nodded, determined. "All right, then."
Mrs. Prince chuckled. "Very well. Take another deep breath..."
The second inch didn't restrict Lily's breathing, or not to the extent that she noticed, but she was more aware of being hugged, and held. It felt nicer than before, quite pleasant, even. A smile tugged at her lips, and Mrs. Prince returned it with her own.
"It feels really nice, ma'am. Like a good hug," Lily said, softly.
"I'm so glad, dear." Mrs. Prince stepped forward, and hugged her.
Lily could still feel the hug over the corset, and leaned into it, letting her head rest against the woman's shoulders. Warmth filled her. After several moments, though, she let go.
"May I-might I see how I look?" Lily asked, almost shyly.
"Certainly!" Mrs. Prince beamed. "There's the mirror, dear..."
Lily walked a few yards until she was directly in front of a full-length mirror, and nearly gasped at what she saw. She hadn't given a great deal of thought to her appearance, before. Lily had been told that her red hair was "vibrant" and her eyes were "striking" and how very fortunate she was not to have freckles, as so many redheads did. Tun-Petunia had been the evident beauty in the family, with her blonde hair and pale, blue eyes. (And yes, while Lily had only just started to wear a bra, her older sister was more-as their mum pointed out-developed.) Lily was pretty, she knew, but Petunia was closer to beautiful.
Now, as Lily stared at herself, with her clearly defined waist, and looking as though she'd grown at least one bra size, she had the notion that she-almost-rather resembled one of those fairytale princesses in the books she used to read.
And she looked like this without feeling any pain, or difficulty breathing, or any of the symptoms she and her former classmates had been told about in their History lessons! Why, even deep breaths still came with ease! And the hug...she still felt it, and yes, it was lovely. Lily felt not only pretty, really pretty, but comfortable, and that was just as important to her.
"I look so different," she mused, aware she was smiling.
Mrs. Prince hugged her. "You are lovely. But, sweetheart, you were beautiful before, as well," she added, emphatically.
Lily beamed. It was reassuring, really, to hear that she looked pretty either way. Because, in spite of the comforting hug it gave her, and a more upright posture, she didn't want to be told she was an ugly duckling without the corset.
Well, perhaps, just perhaps, when the time came for a larger bra, she could broach the topic with her mum. She had reacted reasonably well when Professor McGonagall came to tell her Lily was a witch. Her mum might take to this, too.
At the same time, Lily wasn't sure if she'd ever want a fourteen inch waist. To her, at least, that felt incredibly small.
"It is very comfortable," she said, slowly. "And warm."
"Yes. In the winter months, that's particularly nice. I usually apply a Heating Charm-have you learned those yet? Ah, that's a pity," Mrs. Prince murmured, as Lily shook her head. "Next year, perhaps. Well, during the colder months, it's rather lovely. Some witches use a Cooling Charm during the hotter ones, particularly those past a certain age, but I never found it necessary. Well, Lily, even if you don't choose to wear a corset with regularity, I hope I have assuaged your fears?"
"You have. Very much so," Lily answered. "I don't know... I don't mind bras, although I admit...looking and feeling this way...it is rather an improvement. I don't know, though, if I would want to wear one every day...and my parents would likely think I have gone mad..."
Mrs. Prince handed Lily a dressing gown, and gestured for her to sit down on her couch. Lily put it on, marveling at its softness, and carefully sat on the couch. She was certainly sitting straighter than usual. Severus's mother joined her, and put an arm around her shoulders. Instinctively, Lily leaned into her, and the two remained like that for a few moments.
When Mrs. Prince spoke again, her voice was gentle and sympathetic. "I understand your concerns, Lily. Not that I experienced them, personally, but there were half-bloods in my house whose parents were not entirely supportive of waist training for teenagers."
"Waist training?" Lily echoed.
"Oh!" She laughed. "It's the daily wear with the intention of becoming smaller, although it's more effective if you wear a corset at night."
"Oh, I see."
"Indeed." Mrs. Prince turned in her seat, slightly, and Lily did the same, so they could see each other properly. "As I've said, there's no school rule that mandates corsets. Especially in Gryffindor, dear, I don't expect you to be ostracized if you choose to continue with bras. With that in mind...If you do decide to pursue this, either with the blessing of your parents or after you're of age, you ought to take it slowly," Mrs. Prince said, carefully. "I must caution you, with a new corset, you'll feel stiffness in the beginning. Less so if you borrow one off of a friend. The one you're wearing belonged to me, and I wore it for some time-it's well broken in, not at all stuff. So, you must take care to go slowly, only a few hours at a time in the beginning. It's healthier, more comfortable. Do you understand?"
Lily nodded, glad for this advice.
"However, even after you have adapted to it, if you're ever short of breath, or flat out uncomfortable, then know it's far too tight," Mrs. Prince added, almost firmly. "You should start out reasonably comfortable, taking into account the initial stiffness, and after it molds to your body, you ought to feel entirely at ease. There is never, in my opinion, a time or occasion in which you should allow yourself to be uncomfortable."
Lily nodded, happy to hear this reassurance. "If you don't mind my asking, ma'am...how do you handle eating and-and such?"
"When I began, it was during the summer holidays, and I wore one for a couple of hours in the morning, and then unlaced for lunch, and then again until dinner. Later, I became accustomed to eating with it on. You don't starve, mind, but you do need to eat rather slowly, and smaller portions. My roommates and I would compensate for any missing food with a platter of healthy snacks before bedtime. Perhaps a few sweets as well," Mrs. Prince added, laughing. "Some girls struggled a bit with digesting certain foods, at first, but it's always been my experience that if you eat slowly, and not past feeling full, you'll experience no discomfort later. Nor will you with the, er, with the elimination process," she added, her face reddening a bit.
"Do-do most girls go down to fourteen inches?" Lily asked, looking at Mrs. Prince, then at her own figure, which wasn't entirely hidden by the dressing gown. She'd never given the size of her waist much consideration before, and she rather preferred the look of twenty-one inches over twenty-three, but there could be such a thing as too small...at least, for her.
"That depends on a myriad of factors. Those girls who sleep corseted regularly diminish to far smaller measurements than those who don't. There was a girl in my year-Sophia-whose mother was a Muggle Born, and her father was half-blood, and they wouldn't permit her to sleep laced until after she came of age. Well, I expect that they would have preferred her not to, but when you become of age, you are an adult. Her waist was nineteen inches until that point, and she was eighteen by the time we graduated. I believe she chose not to decrease smaller than that. Many of the girls in my year slept laced and achieved sixteen or fifteen inch waists. My fourteen inches was, I expect, due to starting out a bit smaller than they were, and a rather smaller appetite." She shrugged. "I also have an October birthday, and was among the oldest in my year. My sister started out two inches larger than I did, and always had a bit of a sweet tooth. She wasn't undisciplined, despite what Pinky would say, but when it came down to it, she'd prefer a waist that was small without being minute, over a second bowl of ice cream or cake and a truly tiny waist. And she was always stunningly attractive... I was always rather jealous of her. Never mind. Do you have any other questions, honey?"
"If I were to begin-say, after a year or so-would I-would my body-have to shrink?" she asked, awkwardly.
But Mrs. Prince shook her head. "If you have a specific waistline in mind, and you don't want to go below that, there are nonmagical ways to combat it. Eating more, of course, but also lacing more loosely at night, taking some nights off entirely, that sort of thing."
"It's odd, isn't it, that witches are so much smaller than muggles were?" Lily wondered.
Mrs. Prince chuckled. "Well, dear, that's our magic at work. There was a noted fashion historian who claimed that the average waist size of a witch who wore corsets was between three and four inches smaller than a muggle who did the same. If eighteen inches for a muggle female was truly the ideal a hundred years ago, it stands to reason that fourteen or so was the same. At one point, anyway. Now, oddly enough, the measurement of 'respectability' among such circles is eighteen inches, and that can be achieved by most teenage girls in under two years. With comfort," she added, emphasizing the last word.
Lily blushed. "May I ask...do you sleep at fourteen inches?" Lily asked.
"Mercy, no!" She laughed, then squeezed Lily's hand. "Fifteen and a half, sometimes sixteen. No, it's not recommended to sleep laced at your daytime measurement. Not as a general course of action."
"Are there any reasons to wear one...aside from a smaller waist?" she asked, contemplatively.
"Quite a few. Good posture, of course, as you can see it's very difficult to slouch in one. Try-go ahead." Lily obeyed, and immediately straightened up. "It also provides a good deal of back support. I only brew during the mornings, but Horace Slughorn and his colleague, Damocles Belby, are working most of the day. As you've just experienced, it's difficult to slouch, but the way cauldrons are made, the inclination to do so is a strong temptation, indeed. Imagine having your back in such a position for hours at a time, every day. The two likely need to imbibe in pain-relieving potions in order to sleep well at night. Such is not the case for me, nor was it when I was unmarried and working those long hours. If Severus were to pursue that line of work, and I rather suspect he might, he'll likely be in for some discomfort. Men don't generally wear corsets anymore.
"And for young girls such as yourself," Mrs. Prince added, smiling kindly at Lily, "you will, if you do not already, spend hours in study, crouched over your books and parchment, writing long essays. That's not to say a corset is required to maintain good posture, of course, but it certainly helps."
Lily nodded. "It does give me a lot to think about," she said, slowly, "and I'm relieved that this feels comfortable."
Mrs. Prince hugged her. "I'm glad, honey. Now, would you like to keep this on, or take them off? Mind, dinner is only an hour away..."
"I expect it's better to take it off," Lily said, rising. "But thank you, really, for letting me try it on."
"You're more than welcome," Mrs. Prince answered with warmth, as she rose.
She hugged Lily again, even more tightly, and then had her turn around to be unlaced.
Lily felt a rush of emotions as the corset came off. She missed the hug, but she also felt a sense of relief. Her breathing hadn't been affected, not as far as she could tell, but it felt nice to be able to move however she liked. The corset hadn't felt restrictive, certainly not the torture device she'd learned about, but it had been there all the same.
Then again, she thought, so was her bra, and that was never exactly comfortable, and certainly didn't hug her.
Well, she would just wait and think on it further. There was no rush to make any wardrobe change.
When she stopped by Severus's room, he was reading over his letter and looked up. Grinning, she gave him a hug.
Sev looked a bit startled, but returned the hug.
"Everything-go all right?" he asked, once Lily let go.
"Yes, Sev, everything is fine. Thank you," she said, meaning it. "So, how's Remus?"
Notes:
As I said, I had hesitated before writing this chapter because, while I did venture towards this topic by including Eileen's experience, it wasn't met with the most positive of feedback. The topic of corsets as something that women once wore (and many, many still do, for a myriad of reasons including back support, emotional support, aid in weight loss, and simply enjoying the feel) is filled with controversy. It is generally represented unfavorably in media, to the annoyance of fashion historians and current wearers of them. My own research and, yes, personal experience, has shown that while they're not something everyone will enjoy, they're hardly torture devices created by men to repress women. In part, because the fashion industry of the 1800's was dominated by women, and it is THAT which rather got on men's nerves. Those interested can do their own research on the topic.
My goal with this chapter was to have Lily introduced to it in a safe, gentle manner. Will she choose to wear one with any regularity later on? At this point, I don't know-this isn't her story. Maybe, Severus will notice something when there's a dance. We'll see. (Any negative remarks about this won't have any effect on my decision, so save your time.) But having already introduced this topic, it will feature in later chapters-specifically after Severus marries and has kids.
As always, constructive feedback and sincere questions are most appreciated! (If you have a question and are writing without a user name or email address, though, I cannot respond to you.) Rude comments are NOT welcome.
Mrs. Weasley: I can wallop them with my broomstick, dear!
Me: Let's see how people react first, Mrs. Weasley.
Mrs. Prince: I shall assist, Molly!
(they take a moment to compare broomsticks)
Me to my readers: This is why you shouldn't leave rude comments!
Oh, and Severus's POV will resume in the next chapter.
Chapter 56
Notes:
Thank you to all those who left kind words of feedback on the last chapter. I was both pleasantly surprised and relieved to find that the feedback was generally positive.
The topic of corsets will continue to feature in this story, but that was the most heavily centered chapter to this point.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus felt relieved, to put it mildly, when he saw Lily approach in a genuinely good mood. He'd known what had startled her, but also knew that he would have been one of the worst people to talk to her about that. Given that he'd known about his mum's waist for less than two months, it seemed laughable to pretend to know anything about the expectations of what women (and teenagers) wore under their robes. But he trusted his mum, or at least far more than himself, and he was very glad that it had gone well.
The rest of her visit passed quickly, in a pleasant manner. It wasn't like their time before their first year at school, but far better. After all, Tobias Snape would not be returning to their shack at the end of the day. Drunk, more often than not. No, it was just his mum, after her mornings spent brewing at the apothecary, and Pinky, although the elf usually kept herself scarce. That was the mark of a good elf--seeing their work, not them--but Severus suspected Pinky was a good companion for his mum when it was just the two of them. Besides, despite the enormity of their house, they barely used most of the rooms.
Two days before the end of Lily's visit, Eileen took them to Diagon Alley.
"There aren't many books to purchase this year. You two won't need new books for Transfiguration until the next year, and I expect your Astronomy and History of Magic books will suffice until your OWLs. But there is the second year edition of Mathilda Bagshot's book, and your new Defense teacher assigned a text on dark creatures," she observed. "Lily, you and Severus have both grown a half a foot, and will need new robes." She glanced down at the list again. "New ingredients for Potions, too, I expect. Still, far less to do than last time."
"How will we get there?" Lily asked.
"Floo powder. That reminds me, I should pick up some more. Yes, I expect we'll need to stop at Gringotts before anything else," she mused. "Once you've finished breakfast, we can get ready..."
In under a half hour, they were off. Severus could see what his mum meant about their robes. While hers reached to the floor, which was longer than they needed, his were nearly a half foot above his ankle, and Lily's just as short.
"My mum gave me muggle money. I used up the rest of the wizarding money at Honeydukes," Lily confided. "Do they change over money at the bank?"
"Oh, certainly!" Mrs. Prince reassured her. "How much did she give you?"
Lily opened her purse and counted the notes. "One hundred pounds, and some change. She said to keep anything that's left over."
"I believe the exchange rate is five pounds per galleon, so you should be fine," Mrs. Prince said, with a laugh. "More than fine."
"Will your mum let you get a pet this year?" Severus asked.
First year students had been permitted an owl, cat, or toad. But toads had gone out of fashion at the beginning of the century, Hogwarts had school owls for mail delivery, and cats...well, Severus had nothing negative to say about cats.
"Yes." Lily looked rather uncomfortable. "I'd decided on a cat, but I don't want it to be a bother when I'm here. Do you think it could be delivered to my home after I return?"
"We could ask," Mrs. Prince returned, with a smile. "I wouldn't mind having a cat here for a week, but I rather agree that it might be better to have him or her delivered directly to your house. A salesperson will arrive by Apparition outside your door on the date of your choosing."
Lily nodded, face relaxing. "I'll do that, then." She turned to Severus, her eyes questioning.
Severus grinned. "I'm also getting a cat. Another reason it might be best to have yours sent over. If we chose a boy and girl, we might end up with kittens."
Mrs. Prince laughed. "Oh, dear!"
Ten minutes later, they stood inside of Diagon Alley. His mum wanted to go to their vault, first, so they had an enjoyable ride there. Severus's eyes widened as he saw the contents of their vault. It was nearly crammed to the top with coins, and by the looks of it, mostly galleons. The handfuls that his mum took for herself, and another one for a sputtering Severus, seemed to be less than a drop in the ocean of their newfound wealth. His mum gave a slight chuckle as she placed a hand around Severus's shoulders, and then, as though this was a regular occurrence, she promptly turned and closed the door.
Severus thought it must be a spell that prevented the money from spilling out the vault behind them.
"Come, dear, as you wished to change your money," Mrs. Prince said, rather briskly, as she put an arm around Lily's shoulders.
"Yes, thank you," Lily answered, smiling at her.
The goblin took the notes without preamble, reminded them of the exchange rate, and then gave Lily five hundred galleons in small pouches of twenty apiece.
"I expect you won't need more than two of those pouches, if that, for the coming year," Mrs. Prince remarked, as Lily placed them in her purse, "but it never hurts to have extra cash on hand. A pity you can't open your own vault until you come of age...well, shall we pick up your textbooks, next?"
They did so, and as none of them were particularly lacking in funds, they added a few more titles than the required ones. Both Lily and Severus added a few Potions and Defense works, and Lily a few fictional works.
"Oh, you'll want to add the Bard's fairytales, too," Eileen commented. "I believe that they should be required reading for those who weren't raised in our world. They're very well written, of course, but a good introduction to our world."
Lily accepted the text with a smile. "Are there any books that talk about the...culture and history?"
"Let's see..."
Lily's basket was quite full by the time they were finished. Not that Severus's was exactly empty. Their total came to fifteen galleons (for Severus) and twenty (for Lily).
This included three bags which she placed a combination of Extension charms and Feather Light charms, so that, as Severus's mum put it, "Your arms and backs won't be throbbing before we return home."
The Feather Light Charm was a second year one, and besides, being in public, neither of them could get away with performing the spell without receiving a warning from the Ministry.
Purchasing robes came next. They needed an assortment of school robes as well as casual ones, but Madam Malkins was very prompt and organized. They got measured separately, of course, but the entire task took under thirty minutes, and their robes were added to their bags. Except, for Severus, for the pair he wore out. He was amazed by how much longer his new ones felt on him.
"I told you that you shot up!" his mum said, when he mentioned it. "Mind you don't trip, now."
But her eyes were teasing.
"I hope I don't, with all those steps," Lily mused. "I expect I ought to begin wearing the new ones soon, to get used to them."
"If you didn't trip in your first year, you certainly won't in your second," Eileen reassured her. "Not unless you're hurrying or racing down the staircases."
"Especially if the staircases decide to rearrange themselves, and there's a trick one," Severus recalled.
Sirius had gotten caught in one, once. Severus hadn't been there to witness it, and his friend had played it off as a joke, but James had also been there to help him out.
But his mum shuddered. "Oh, that happened to me once. I was by myself, having been brewing before curfew, and I only barely made curfew as a result. I nearly--well, never mind," she added, quickly. "But yes, as long you're careful, you'll be fine."
"Mum, you needed dress robes for a few years, didn't you?" Severus recalled.
"I did. There's usually a dance every few years, sometimes for the older students, sometimes for everyone who wishes to attend. My first one was during my fourth year." She sighed. "No one I particularly fancied asked me, so I went on my own. About half of the girls in my year in my house went with dates. It was a nice time. You'll know if a dance is scheduled, or if it includes your year, if your school list requires dress robes."
"Not this year, then," Lily mused.
"I'm afraid not," Eileen agreed. "But there's plenty of time remaining."
The pet shop came next. Lily fell in love with a calico kitten, while Severus settled on a brown one. They paid for the pets, but arranged for them to be delivered to King's Cross on September 1st. They would remain at the shop until then.
The last task, if you could call it that, was to purchase lunch. Severus's mum had treated them to this last year, even though they both chose the least expensive items from the menu. He thought his mum might have skipped breakfast and even dinner to make up for it. Not that they needed to worry today. His mum brushed aside Lily's offer to pay for her meal, insisting it was her treat.
Severus could enjoy his food more, knowing his mother wasn't pinching knuts to be able to afford it. They all ate large portions, except for his mum, who had always had rather a small appetite. Still, even she finished everything on her plate, and smiled rather conspiratorially.
"Who would like ice cream?"
Severus found himself perking up. He'd eaten it at school, during the feasts, but never at home. Not even on his birthday. The Muggle kind was too expensive to buy, Eileen had always explained, and wasn't nearly as good as the magical kind.
Lily, too, had room for it, so after walking around the streets for a bit, "to work up an appetite" as Eileen explained, they sat down at Fortescue's.
"I remember going here with my mother and my sister," Eileen murmured. "Hasn't changed a bit, I dare say. I even met the owner, once. Lovely man, and extremely well-read. Well," she added, picking up a menu, "let's see what looks good."
Severus chose Dulce de leche, the same choice as his mother, but Lily went with a raspberry and vanilla mix. It took all of Severus's self control not to shovel large spoonfuls into his mouth at once. It was better than anything he'd ever tasted, even better than the ice cream at Hogwarts. Glancing up at Lily on occasion, she wore an expression of wonder and contentment on her face.
Too soon, they were finished, even scraping their bowls for any remaining fragments. When it was all gone, Severus realized wouldn't have wanted more--he felt quite full.
His mother voiced the general opinion. "Well, that was delicious."
After returning home, Eileen mentioned that she was in need of a rest, and could Severus and Lily entertain themselves until dinner? They were quick to agree.
Lily and Severus spent the last day of her visit doing a thorough exploration of Hogsmeade, and an even more careful one of Honeydukes. Lily's basket was nearly overflowing with sweets for herself, her parents, and a few close friends. Severus, too, took the opportunity to stock up. Of course, chocolate frogs and the like would be available on the train, but fizzing whizbees and other treats would not be available. He just hoped his friends would wait until they were off the train to begin experimenting with them...
Eileen had Pinky prepare all of Lily's favorite foods for dinner, and a big chocolate cake, which brought tears to her eyes.
"I'm sorry!" she said, both sniffling and smiling at once. "It's just so kind of you. You have both been so kind...made me feel so welcome..."
She trailed off as Eileen rose and pulled her into a hug. "Oh, it was no trouble! And, Lily, you're welcome back any time, honey."
Lily hugged her back, and they remained that way for a few moments. Severus felt a bit awkward, but he was glad the two had become close. Well, as close as a girl and her friend's mother could be, he supposed...
The evening was filled with smiles and good food. Later, even after they had eaten generous slices of the cake, Eileen suggested they pop corn while playing Exploding Snap. She used a spell over a large bowl after placing it in the fireplace, and the end result was a much larger bowl filled with fluffy popcorn. The bowl was warm, too, without scalding their fingers. It was delicious, and rather the perfect end to a lovely evening.
The next morning, after a good breakfast and hugs all around, Lily departed via Floo Powder with more ease. Eileen charmed her face and clothes to remain mostly free of soot, since Lily had neither the magical skills nor the presence of another magical being in her house to be able to perform such a charm undetected.
Her disappearance seemed to mark the ending of holidays, even if there was technically more than a week remaining. Severus felt oddly empty and excited all at once.
Notes:
Next up: Back to school! Or the Hogwarts Express, anyway. New (to us, not to canon) characters show up.
Chapter 57
Notes:
Been awhile since I updated. I've been focusing on my "The Guardian" works, my first Severitis series in which Severus Snape becomes Harry's guardian after his aunt and uncle unexpectedly die. The series begins shortly before Harry turns eight years old. If this piques your interest, please give it a read! And now, onto the next chapter...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
No sooner had Lily left than the summer holidays were over, or so it felt to Severus. In some ways, he looked forward to the new school term less this year. Not that he wasn't eager to see his friends again, but there wasn't the pressing need to escape the small house-made smaller by his father's presence-in Cokeworth. This was a castle by comparison, and Severus hadn't even been inside half of the rooms. Moreover, he and his mother had an easy relationship that he hadn't quite remembered since he'd been a small boy. The lines of worry and sallow skin were gone, replaced by a very pretty, quietly confident mother who was, as Severus had noted at the tea, still quite young. Why, he reckoned his grandparents were within a few years of the Potters!
This didn't mean Severus was necessarily dreading going back, though. The visit to Potter Manor had been great fun, and he rather missed his friends. He also looked forward to their evenings and weekends together, chatting away in their dormitory or in the common room. Being second years, they would have easier access to the squashy, roomy chairs right in front of the fireplace. Especially during Hogsmeade weekends, when the school would be very nearly deserted.
Not to mention, he was looking forward to his lessons. Not History of Magic, of course, but all the others were to his liking. Even Potions, where Severus reckoned he knew more than most third years, had the advantage of being among Slughorn's favorites. He just hoped they would be able to work by themselves this year. Then again, if they could choose their partners, Severus knew of a few he wouldn't mind.
Severus's musings, and the final bits of packing his trunk, were interrupted by Pinky's sudden appearance. Bowing lowly, first, the female house-elf looked at Severus with an expression of adoration only a bit lower than she reserved for his mother. She didn't speak immediately, waiting for him to give her permission.
"Hello, Pinky." Severus smiled at her. "What do you need?"
"Please, sir, Miss Leeny wishes to know if you is hungry and would be liking tea," Pinky answered.
"Here, or in the sitting room?" Severus asked.
The elf paused, just for a second. "P-Pinky thinks Miss Leeny means in the sitting room, but she can ask Mistress if you would be wishing to stay here."
"No need," Severus reassured her. "Sure, tea sounds great. Is it ready, or do you need time to prepare it?"
"It is ready!" Pinky said, proudly.
So, Severus left his packing and musings behind as he followed the house-elf through the corridor, down the majestic staircase, and into the sitting room. His mum was sitting, reading some publication, but immediately rose when he arrived.
"Sevvie," she said warmly, wrapping him into an equally warm hug. As though it had been weeks instead of a couple of hours since they last saw each other. Not that Severus minded a bit.
He returned his mum's hug, leaning his head against her shoulders for a bit. While he had certainly grown during the past year, he was rather glad that she was still taller than him. Merlin knew, it likely wouldn't stay that way for much longer. Two years, if that.
"Hello, Mum," he answered, easily. "Pinky said you thought I might be hungry?"
She laughed. "You are a growing boy, and I admit, I had wondered if that trunk had swallowed you up."
Severus had to chuckle at the mental image. He and his mother sat down next to each other, and she smoothed out his hair. He'd had it cut a couple of days prior, and it had been as nice as before. The scalp massage nearly put him to sleep, of course, but the results of the cut were as good as the first time. His hair still covered his ears, but went above his shoulders. It was hardly one of those spiky Muggle haircuts in some of the magazines Lily used to show him, but it was a far cry from the sheepdog appearance he'd had. And that had been after being able to use proper shampoo, instead of the soap that gave his mane an oily appearance.
"It tried, but I was faster," he joked, earning another laugh. "I'm nearly finished."
"Good. At any rate, I can owl you anything you might need later," Eileen promised. She sighed a bit. "I must say, Sevvie, it will be difficult for your silly mum, your living a mere walk from me, and not being able to see you until Christmas."
"I know. It's silly that second years can't go to Hogsmeade," he lamented, taking one of the cookies.
"Ah, don't blame the school for that. The regulation was established long before Dumbledore became the headmaster," she allowed, also taking a cookie. "And I won't encourage you to leave school without leave just to visit me," she added, shaking a finger at him, playfully.
"Christmas isn't so very far off, and I will send you loads of owls," Severus promised, feeling his throat tightening a bit.
She wrapped an arm around him. "I'm just being a bit silly. Damocles and I will have plenty to do, working on potions. No, there hasn't been as much progress with your friend's as I would have liked, but those things can take years before the missing ingredient or combination can become clear. Although, between us?" At Severus's nod, she went on, smiling a bit impishly. "I believe Horace's insistence of doing everything by the book might hinder us a bit. Oh, I am not saying to throw out everything you learned," she added, quickly, "but once you have the skills mastered, it's perfectly acceptable to experiment with procedures. And with him at Hogwarts all year, perhaps that's enough to make more progress. Mind, I don't want you spreading this around, or thinking your teacher is an old fuddy duddy."
Severus smiled, both at the Muggle expression, and to reassure her. He made the Muggle sign of zipping his lips and throwing away the key, earning him a hair tousle.
"Very good," Eileen praised. "Now. Enough about my work..."
They had an enjoyable afternoon, and easily polished off the treats. Severus finished what packing he could, figuring he could handle his toiletries and the last of his robes and night shirts the morning they would leave. As there was still a full day before they would leave for King's Cross, Severus and his mum planned to spend it together.
Severus had a strange sense of deja vu as he and his mother waited at King's Cross. Traveling by Apparition, the journey lasted barely a second. It was 10:30 currently, giving them a half-hour before the train actually left. Plenty of time to locate Lily and his male friends, as well as cross the barrier and board the train. This time, he was not remotely nervous. He had friends, and did not need to concern himself about his (or Lily's) sorting. Severus never would have expected events to play out as they had a year ago, but he couldn't have been happier. After all, even if the hat had put himself and Lily in Slytherin, and James and Sirius had ignored him, he would not have been their friends. His mother, too, would still be living with Tobias Snape.
His thoughts were interrupted by Lily's arms suddenly around him. Although taken aback, he returned the hug.
"I was calling your name at least three times, Sev!" Lily half scolded, upon letting him go. "Didn't you hear me?"
Severus reddened. "Sorry. Lost in my own thoughts."
She rolled her eyes. "Well, at least you weren't ignoring me on purpose! Oh, hello, Mrs. Prince," she added, smiling at Severus's mum.
Eileen returned the smile and hugged her. "Hello, dear! Enjoy the rest of your holidays?"
"Mostly," Lily answered. "I'm looking forward to being back at school, though."
She laughed. "Ah yes, I remember that feeling well. Shall we cross the barrier, or...oh, hello! You must be Lily's parents and sister!"
Petunia's face came into view immediately, followed by Mr. and Mrs. Evans. Petunia rather resembled her mother, with her blonde hair, but her eyes were her father's. They were older than his own mum, Severus knew, well into their thirties. Not that they looked old, exactly.
"Lily!" Mrs. Evans scolded, lightly. "I told you not to go running off."
"Sorry, Mum. I saw Severus, and forgot," she explained.
"No harm, love," Mr. Evans reassured her. "Not that I can do much to punish you, what with you about to leave until Christmas."
"Good riddance," Petunia muttered under her breath.
If her parents heard, they ignored the remark. Eileen's face took on a slightly hardened look, and Lily's was wearing one of feigned indifference.
"Mum, Dad, you met Severus, of course. This is his mother, Mrs. Prince," Lily spoke up.
The adults were all smiles as they shook hands and murmured the traditional adult greetings. They chatted for a bit, and Lily pulled Severus aside.
"Did you make plans with the others to sit together?" she asked.
Severus shook his head. He'd assumed that they would, but now that he thought about it, six people might be a bit snug. That was, of course, if Lily hadn't planned on sitting with her friends.
"Oh. Well, Charity and Marlene and I were planning to sit together. You can join us, if you like. But if you would rather wait and see what they want..." Lily trailed off.
"I had expected we could. Perhaps, we can find compartments near each other. There's no law that we have to stay in our own, and the trip is a long one," Severus offered.
Lily's face relaxed. "Good idea."
"How's Petunia?" he asked, in a lower tone.
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, just lovely, can't you tell? And she's with the popular girls at school. Either they see something in her, or they're just as rude."
Severus cast a glance back at the others. The contrast on the faces of the adults, compared to Petunia, was stark. While they were all smiles, the older Evans sister looked as though she were standing in front of a rubbish bin filled with dung bombs.
But she was very pretty, with her long blonde hair and pale eyes. And she was thirteen already, only without the bad skin his mum had lamented she'd dealt with. ("Thank Merlin for Madam Pomfrey's bubertuber puss concoction! It did more for my skin than soap ever could!" she'd told him. "Sevvie, if you ever experience acne, go directly to her. Don't be embarrassed, honey!") Even her disgusted look didn't hide that. So, knowing the little that Severus did about girls, it wasn't unthinkable that Petunia Evans could achieve a level of popularity among Muggle girls her age.
Before long, James appeared with his parents, followed by Sirius and his. Severus found himself standing even straighter, and Lily paled visibly. But while the Black family gave Severus and his mother an evaluative glance, they didn't bother with Lily or her parents.
They rather stepped aside, too.
The Black parents weren't wearing dress robes, as far as Severus could tell, but the way they carried themselves, and the looks on their faces, demonstrated that they thought they were royalty. Or wizarding royalty, as kings and queens did not exist.
"Sirius, dear," Mrs. Black spoke up, "do introduce us to your classmates. We had only the opportunity to meet your friend, James."
Sirius straightened. "Mother, Father, this is Severus Snape and his mother, Eileen Prince. This, here, is Lily Evans and her parents, and her sister."
Eileen smiled and extended her hand. "A pleasure, Mr. and Mrs. Black. Severus has said lovely things about your son."
Mrs. Black shook her hand, followed by her husband. "It is very nice to meet you, Miss Prince."
Then, with rather more chilled looks, they murmured similar greetings to Severus, and gripped, rather than shook, his hand.
He could guess why. His mother had fallen from grace by her marriage to a Muggle, but restored it by her divorce and reclaiming of her maiden name. Severus, on the other hand, was a defilement. Not as low as a Muggle-Born, but half blood. And not even one of those half bloods whose family hadn't quite reached the pure blood status. All four grandparents had to be half blood or pure blood in order to count, in most circles, so a child could be half blood if only one grandparent was Muggle-Born or outright Muggle. They were but one generation away from purifying the bloodline.
Severus was far more than that.
With even more chilled looks, they greeted the Evans family. Severus had the distinct impression that, were they not in a mixed setting, the Muggle family would have gone ignored. No doubt, Mrs. Black would burn her gloves that night, and her husband would scrub his soiled hand for the better part of an hour.
Lily, being Muggle-Born, received similar treatment.
It was quite remarkable that Sirius was nothing like his parents.
Then, a boy who looked rather similar to Sirius, accompanied by another boy, came up to his parents.
"Ah, there you are, Regalus," his mother said, smiling down at him. "You found Scorpion, I see."
"Yes, Mother." Regalus grinned.
"Very good. Well, I dare say it's nearly time to board the train, so let's do so." She gave a smile to the others. "Will you be joining us?"
They would be. Thankfully, after crossing the barrier, the families divided up into their own units for final goodbyes. After giving his mother a final hug, he and Lily boarded the train, followed by James and Sirius.
Severus was glad to be away from the Black family, although he had enough decorum not to state this out loud. Sirius, on the other hand, snorted once they were seated.
"Well, those were my parents you had the misfortune of meeting," he drawled. "And James, here, managed to spend extended time with them and live to tell the tale."
James made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a snort. "They're not so bad, as long as you're pure blood."
Sirius slung an arm around his best friend's shoulders. "Good thing, too. You might not be alive if you weren't."
"Are you telling me you'd invite your best friend over to be murdered by his parents?" James quipped, with a grin.
"Good point." Sirius shook his head. "Anyway, enough about them. How were the rest of your summer holidays?"
The next few minutes consisted of enthusiastic chatter about time with parents, including a holiday Peter's mum and dad had taken him on to France. Severus threw in a few lines about Lily visiting him, and James spoke about seeing a local Quidditch game (although Severus wouldn't have been able to remember the names of either teams five minutes later). Only Remus remained quiet, and come to think of it, he looked paler than usual.
He wasn't the only one who noticed.
"Moony? You all right?" Sirius asked, gently.
Remus raised his eyebrows. "Moony?"
"Well, Sirius and I were saying how you need a nickname, given your furry problem, we thought that 'Moony' worked rather well," James explained. "Er, do you mind? We can choose something else..."
His face suddenly turned red.
Remus shook his head. "As long as it's only said between us, and perhaps Lily, I don't mind. I'd rather not have others hear it, given my condition's meant to be kept a secret."
"Of course!" Sirius and James answered at once.
Sirius, who was seated next to Remus, squeezed his shoulders. Severus noticed his friend flinch before immediately schooling his features into a more neutral expression.
"Are you all right?" James, who must have seen it, asked softly.
Remus shrugged. "The full moon was last week. At home...we don't have the sorts of potions that Madam Pomfrey does. I heal all right, but it takes longer. I-I suppose that I'm now rather used to her more advanced ones. After two consecutive full moons at home, it's rather more difficult than I remember."
He said all of this quietly, as though he was ashamed of it. Severus felt a jolt of pain. He recalled his father's beatings, and his mother's healing potions that often stung as they fixed most of the damage. By the next day, the pain of the beatings were all gone, but the memory was still there. And the knowledge that his father wouldn't stop, that it could happen at any time, for any reason, or for no reason at all.
Remus's transformations made his beatings seem like nothing. Like stubbing your toe. Severus had read about the werewolf transformation process during the last week of his holidays, from a book his mum had loaned him. A werewolf had written his account, using a pseudonym, and it sounded like the sort of Muggle horror stories Lily used to read. The author had been bitten as a teenager during a family camping trip, and written his story ten years later. Every month, occasionally twice a month, the monster invaded his body and tore it apart. The pain did not dull over time-if anything, as his body aged, it heightened. After becoming a monster, his memory would fade as the base instincts took over, but when he emerged from the beast, he'd be covered with injuries. He wouldn't simply bite himself, he would go to far as to break his bones.
Every four weeks. Every full moon.
Until his body would give out. His heart could only handle the trauma for so long, and at some point, he would die. Perhaps, he already had. The book had been written over a decade earlier.
If Severus's mother could develop a potion that made the transformation painless, she'd prolong the lives of many werewolves. She'd enable them to live without this monthly agony.
But cures could take decades to come to fruition. It was one reason why the Wizard's Flu and Dragon Pox remained treatable, but not cured. Oh, if you were a child and got either, you were in for a rough few days or week, but you wouldn't die. If you caught it as an adult, it was harder, but still far from deadly. It was only in the very old that it was more likely to be a death sentence.
Severus tore himself from his thoughts, aware now that Sirius had hugged Remus, and James was promising that they'd take him to the Hospital Wing as soon as they arrived at school.
"We'll say you caught a bug and want it looked at, if anyone asks," he said. "Anyway, Madam Pomfrey's likely to know that-well, whatever your mum and dad used wasn't at the same level as her stuff."
"Could she send it back with you?" Peter asked. "For the next time you have to leave?"
Remus looked uncomfortable. "The school's already done so much for me."
"Then, what's a bit more, eh?" James retorted, gently tousling Remus's hair.
Remus chuckled a bit. "Well, perhaps."
Then, the trolley arrived, and conversation about his "furry little problem" ceased. For which, Severus thought, his friend was likely grateful.
Notes:
Up next: I'm thinking of doing Regalus's sorting (Slytherin, of course), but I don't anticipate him being a prominent character in this story. I do want to include the feast, though, and perhaps the first night back. If you have any suggestions, please include them with your feedback about this chapter.
Chapter 58
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The rest of the train ride sped by. Severus joined his friends in purchasing treats from the trolley, but unlike his friends whose mothers did not own mansions in Hogsmeade, it was rather more of an ordinary occurrence than a rare treat to be able to buy licorice wands, chocolate frogs, cauldron cakes, and other items that were mere representatives of the plethora of sweets awaiting for them at Hogsmeade. If Severus were the smug, show-off type, he might have made some remarks to that effect. Instead, he merely used some of the smaller coins his mother had given him to purchase a selection of treats.
Remus, predictably, used all of his coins to purchase chocolate frogs. Was it because chocolate had healing powers that he so enjoyed them, or had he loved chocolate most before he'd been bitten? He might not even know, having been bit at such a young age...
They did not cross the Great Lake in boats this time around. Instead, carriages pulled by Threstrals, which were invisible to all who had not witnessed someone's death, drove them from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts. The five of them sat in one row, chatting as they enjoyed the journey.
"Next year, we'll be taking the trip to Hogsmeade!" James grinned. "I can't wait!"
Severus suspected that James was more eager to see the joke shop than Honeydukes. Or, perhaps, just as eager.
"It's as great as you think it will be," an older student behind them answered, smiling genially. "I've been there every time I could go, except the one where I was recovering from the flu. Bad luck, that. This one-" He gave his male companion a not so gentle shove. "-Says he reckons it's lost some of its appeal. Bonkers, he is."
The other boy, with blonde hair rather like Lucius Malfoy, only not as light, simply shrugged. "The sweet shop is excellent, but there's been nothing new for years."
"There's the Shrieking Shack, Merlin!" the first protested.
Out of the corner of his eye, Severus saw Remus flinch.
"Ah, but have you actually heard any shrieking? Reckon it's just an old building, Tom," Merlin answered, with a grin. "I'll still go with you on the first weekend, mind."
The two began to debate the merits of Hogsmeade amongst themselves, ignoring their original audience. Before the conversation had ended, they had arrived at the castle. Severus was glad. His legs could use a good stretch.
A sense of familiarity, of belonging, crept over Severus as he walked inside. Everything, from the corridors to the scent, felt familiar. Perhaps not quite like home, exactly, but could you have a second home? If so, that's what the castle now felt like to Severus. He breathed in deeply, wanting to experience entering the castle for the first time in his second year properly. Savoring it, even.
Most of the students head immediately towards the Great Hall, but Remus, upon seeing Professor McGonagall, immediately approached her. Of course, Severus and his Gryffindor roommates joined him. Their head of house's mouth opened slightly, as though to issue a warning, but Remus immediately plunged ahead after the customary respectful greeting. Perhaps, it was Remus's pallor as much as his explanation which softened Professor McGonagall's stern demeanor.
"Yes, of course," she answered, rather less briskly than Severus would have expected. "If you're feeling well, you may return to the Great Hall afterwards. I dare say she'll know what care you require, Mr. Lupin."
"Thank you, Professor," Remus answered, softly.
"You remember the way to the hospital wing, I presume?" the head of house queried, her voice a bit softer, now.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Then, off you go." She nodded at the other boys, then raised her eyebrows slightly, as though asking if they could be trusted with this secret.
James, speaking for the group, made the universal motion of zipping one's lips and throwing away the key. Professor McGonagall actually smiled, then, before dismissing them.
Severus saw her attention immediately turn to the first year students, as well as his own. They looked positively tiny, especially the girls. As she began to lecture them about the history of the houses at school, Severus felt himself being steered into the Great Hall by what felt like the rest of the student body. Another spark of mild annoyance filled him. It wasn't as though they would be allowed to eat before the Sorting had concluded.
As he sat down in the familiar, enormous room, his annoyance turned to gratitude that he was not among the first years. Just a year ago, he'd been almost determined to go to Slytherin house, and drag Lily with him. Only their encounter with Remus Lupin had made Severus give other houses the slightest consideration. But when not only his then enemies gone to Gryffindor, but Remus and Lily, Severus had decided to throw his lot in with the rest of them. Nor did he once regret his impulsive decision.
Going to Slytherin would have been a disaster. At best, James and Sirius would have chosen to ignore him. At worst, they would have become his enemies. Severus would have seen a lot less of Lily, too, and perhaps lost her friendship. His mum might not have left his father. And Merlin knew what sort of friends he might have made in Slytherin. Oh, not all Slytherins were chomping at the bit to join You-Know-Who, but enough were. Severus was a half-blood, and perhaps he might have chosen to join (or act like he wanted to...) simply to fit in.
No. Choosing Gryffindor had changed his life for the better. He looked around at his housemates, and a small smile passed his lips. It was true that he didn't know the female Gryffindors nearly as well as Lily, but James and Sirius and Remus were his closest friends. Peter, too, was a decent friend, even if he tended to blend into the background. If they could just figure out how to become animagi, and if his mum could produce a potion to make Remus's monthly terror manageable, he'd be almost completely happy.
That, and if they suddenly heard that his father had an accident at work that left him dead or permanently paralyzed. The idea of the man who'd beaten him since he'd been a boy in such a state for the rest of his life-and it had better be a long one-made Severus very happy, indeed.
Even if his mum would say it wasn't wise or kind to wish ill on others, no matter if they truly deserved it.
"Reg's going to be among the first," Sirius murmured, interrupting Severus's thoughts. "Black, you know. Not many surnames ahead of us, I reckon. I was the third, last year."
Severus had no idea where he'd been in the lineup. Nor how many students had gone after him.
"Do you think..." he trailed off.
Sirius shrugged, schooling his expression to look neutral. "I expect it's more likely than not he'll end up with the rest of the family."
James put a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe not. You might have convinced him to join us."
"What if he ended up in neither?" Peter asked. "Like, say, Ravenclaw?"
Sirius snorted. "Regulus is not exceptionally bright. Oh, he's intelligent enough," he added, loyally, "but he won't read a nonfiction book for the fun of it. He's loyal, though." He chuckled. "Reckon if he ended up in Hufflepuff, it would make me look good by comparison."
Severus didn't bother to hide a grin. The only way he would have accepted Hufflepuff would have been...well, he'd petitioned the Hat for Gryffindor, and he'd once considered that an impossibility. It was a good thing the Sorting happened only once per student.
His musings cut short when the hat sang a song about the different houses, and the Sorting began.
Like his older brother, Regulus stood third in line. Severus studied him, having only seen him for the second time ever. He resembled his older brother in his features, but his hair had been cut short. Their eyes were the same color, though, and they had similar noses. No one would mistake the Black brothers for twins, of course, but if they stood next to each other, it would be quite clear they were related.
When it came time for Regulus to try on the hat, it was hardly a second later that the hat shouted, "SLYTHERIN!"
Sirius groaned, then muttered something under his breath. Schooling his features, he forced a smile.
"Well, I'm officially the black sheep in the Black family," he muttered.
James put an arm around his shoulders. "Bellatrix isn't here anymore, and Andromeda can look after him."
Regulus cast the briefest of glances towards the Gryffindor table before walking quickly to the Slytherin one. A few older students shook his hand, and one gestured for Regulus to sit down beside him.
"At least Bellatrix isn't here this year," Sirius murmured, clearly abandoning all pretense of caring about the rest of the Sorting. "Passed her NEWTs with all Outstanding's. Not that she'll go on to have a career. Well, not that type, anyway."
"The wedding to the Lestrange brother is back on?" Peter asked, softly, his hands covering his mouth to avoid detection.
"Oh, it was never off. Due for summer, end of July. After that, they'll be after Andy to find a good, pure-blood husband," Sirius explained. "She's in her seventh year, now. There's about a year and a half difference between her and Bella, same as me and Regulus."
"Is it common, for wizarding families with multiple children to be so close in age?" James wondered.
Sirius shrugged. "There was a three year gap between Andy and Cissy. Mum reckons Aunt Druella had a miscarriage between them. Two more afterwards. Never got their son, you know, just three girls. Most wizarding families who luck out with a son as their first born stop afterwards, or only have one other child. Heir and a spare is the ideal."
"They don't like girls, then?" Peter intervened.
"Not as much as boys. But a pure blood girl does mean another wizarding family can have sons, so..." Sirius shrugged, again. "I know my mum and dad didn't want more kids after Regulus."
A moment later, the first Gryffindor joined their table. Severus noted that her face was flushed with excitement, and her new robes were so long that she nearly tripped on them.
Midway through, Remus arrived, looking far more like himself. He gave the others small smiles before turning his attention to the Sorting.
Several others joined her by the time it was over. Four Gryffindor girls, and five Gryffindor boys. If Severus hadn't known better, he would have sworn they were no older than nine. Certainly, he had nearly a head's height on the smallest of the boys.
The headmaster made a few announcements, mostly prohibitions concerning forbidden items courtesy of Filch, and then the food appeared.
Even Severus, who was now used to ample amounts of delicious food, felt his mouth water at the sight. Like everyone else at the table, he helped himself to large amounts, then placed a forkful in his mouth. It was wonderful.
"Do you eat like this all of the time?" one of the first years asked, after a few moments.
One of the older students must have just swallowed, because he answered. "Not exactly. There's always more than enough food for everyone, but not so many types, and not as rich. The next feast will be on Halloween."
"Oh!" he answered, still looking amazed.
Severus gave him a cursory glance. The school robes were loose on everyone, of course. You might get an idea if someone was terribly overweight, not otherwise, nearly everyone had the same nondescript figure. Still, there was a look on the child's face that made Severus think he might not get enough to eat at home. Perhaps.
Then again, if the boy was Muggle-Born, seeing so much food suddenly appear out of nowhere was certainly a testament to the awe inspiring nature of magic...
Severus savored his own food, letting the conversation flow around him. While he filled his plate twice, he made sure to leave room for the ample desserts. Desserts weren't rare at Hogwarts, during the non feast meals, but there weren't nearly as many. Severus didn't plan to eat himself sick, but he would enjoy the assortment.
And what an assortment there were. His mouth watered just seeing the sweets. Pinky and his mum had made sure that their meals were filled with good, tasty foods, and their desserts just as much. But this was a feast unlike they never had. Severus loaded his plate once more, and was pleased to see everyone else did the same.
Once again, Severus ate slowly, savoringly. This was the main way to avoid becoming sick afterwards. Besides, it was far more polite. By the time his plate was cleared and the headmaster had given his final announcements, Severus felt pleasantly full, but hardly fit to bursting, and certainly in no danger of making himself sick.
He joined his roommates as they maneuvered the crowd of students towards the Gryffindor tower, aware that the new first year students were following the Prefects. The password, for now, was "Cantankerous Ostrich," which was a mouthful, but easy enough to remember. The second year Gryffindors took the staircase past their room last year, and into their new dormitory for the next ten months.
It looked more or less the same as Severus had remembered their first room. Five four poster beds stood in various locations throughout the room, with the intent of providing enough space in the middle of the room as possible. The far bed stood directly in front of half of the windows, and window seats, while the bed closest to the door still allowed ample entrance room. That had been Severus's bed last year, and judging by the fact his trunk was in front of it, he supposed it would be his bed again. A pity, because he'd been hoping for the one by the window...but no sense in wishing for something he couldn't have.
"Same beds as last year, I reckon," James noted, surveying the room. "Everyone all right with that?"
Peter, surprisingly, spoke up. "I slept by the window last year. If-if anyone wishes to trade, I'd be happy to go anywhere else."
Severus blinked, hardly daring to believe his good luck. "I will, if you don't mind being near the door."
Peter shook his head. "Just as long as I'm not by the window."
"Why's that?" Remus asked, gently.
The boy reddened. "We're high up, and, last year, I kept dreaming that I was falling. Silly, I know."
"You should have told us, you prat!" James gave him a gentle shove. "Someone would have swapped with you."
Peter shrugged, then stared at the floor. Then, at Severus. "You really don't mind, then, Severus?"
"Not in the least," Severus reassured him, with a smile. "As it happened, when we moved to Hogsmeade, my bed was near a window, and I had rather hoped to sleep in one like that at school."
Peter grinned. "Thanks!"
"Sounds like it worked out well for the both of you, then," James observed. "Me, I'm happy being in the middle, but I don't mind swapping with anyone who fancies a change."
But no one else felt strongly enough to speak up. So, after levitating Peter and Severus's trunks so that they were in front of their new beds, the five of them grabbed their night clothes and toiletries. Severus remembered having changed in his four poster bad last year, because he hadn't wanted anyone to see the scars on his back. Now, everyone knew that they had been there, and that they were no longer there. And, he would be sleeping against a window, likely in front of lovely window seats. He smiled to himself. The year was certainly starting up nicely.
"Tomorrow's Friday," Sirius said, as he spit out a mouthful of toothpaste. "Reckon they'll make us attend lessons immediately, or give us a long weekend?"
"Lessons!" everyone answered.
Sirius groaned. "I expect you're right. Still, at least it will be a short day."
"Unless that's only for first years," James pointed out. "We can't be sure about anything until we receive our timetables."
"I wouldn't mind a regular day," Severus mused, as he ran a comb through his newly trimmed hair. "We're only second years, you know. We still have a lot to learn."
Sirius groaned good-naturedly. "Teacher's pet," he retorted, but Severus could hear the friendly tease in his voice.
"Someone has to be," Severus returned, rolling his eyes. "How many points have the two of you lost just last year?"
"I refuse to dignify that question with a response," James said, reaching over and tousling Severus's hair.
Severus gave a halfhearted glare at James before pointedly combing back his hair. In response, James ran a hand through his own messy locks, making them look even worse than before.
"What? We're going to bed. There's no need to look nice." James grinned.
"Not here. In Slytherin, maybe," Sirius shot back, setting his towel back on the rack.
"Ugh. Another reason to be glad you're here," James remarked, slinging an arm around Sirius's shoulders.
After a bit more chatter, they headed for their beds, all yawning without reservation. Today, they would not stay up late to talk. As Severus curled up until the soft, warm sheets, he felt the warmth of his mother's blanket at the top of the pile. Severus felt his eyelids go heavy, and sleepiness begin to take over his body. Feeling utterly comfortable, he gave into it.
Notes:
Readers asked about Regulus's sorting. In this universe, Sirius was fairly certain that his brother wasn't going to follow in his footsteps. So, while I did include it, I don't anticipate it being a central part of the story. At least, not now.
Next up: Slughorn has a new idea for his second year's' Potions lessons. Vague enough for you? And there's the return of a pretty Ravenclaw whose initials are C.B.
Enjoying this? Please let me know!
Chapter 59
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
When Severus and his friends began eating breakfast the following morning, they received their timetables for the upcoming term. To everyone's relief, they would have only one lesson on Fridays. For Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, this was double Potions.
Severus approached the classroom with his usual wariness. Between the summer holidays and the fact that his classmates were second years, the risk of accidents was no lower than before--and could, in fact, be higher.
"Cheer up, Severus!" Sirius encouraged, giving his sides a light shove. His version of affection, no doubt. "We're second years, now. Slughorn will trust us to brew by ourselves."
Peter groaned. "I hope not!"
James cast his friend a sympathetic look. "Perhaps we'll get to choose if we wish to brew by ourselves or with a partner."
Severus raised an eyebrow. "That will surely double the number of accidents," he grumbled.
"It's out of our control," Remus said, mildly.
Professor Slughorn greeted the class with a pleasant smile and a wish they had all enjoyed their holidays before launching into his plan for the year.
"You will continue to work in pairs this year," Professor Slughorn began, to the groans of more than a few students, "but I will allow you to choose your partners. For the first month, you may alter who you wish to work with. Come the first lesson of October, though, I expect a firm decision that will hold throughout the remainder of the year."
A few hands raised, and Professor Slughorn called on one of the Ravenclaw students. "Please, sir, what happens if our partner is absent during the lesson?"
Whoever selects Remus Lupin, Severus thought, wryly, will likely encounter this scenario at least once before the end of the fall term.
The Potions professor nodded. "In such circumstances, you will have two options. If there are an even number of students in the class at that time, meaning that multiple students have fallen ill, you will choose a partner from those available. If your partner is the only one to have the misfortune to miss my lesson, you will work with another group of two." He smiled, genially. "Any other questions?"
Two hands went up, and this time, it was one of the Gryffindor girls whose name Severus had forgotten.
"Yes, Miss McKinnon."
"Professor, what happens if you wish to work with someone as your permanent partner, but they have already chosen someone else?" Miss McKinnon asked, her Scottish accent very apparent.
"Then, I suggest you have an alternate." He made a sympathetic face. "I realize that such an arrangement may cause some ill feelings, and after this year, you will be working on your own. However, with a few exceptions"-Severus could have sworn the teacher's gaze fell on him. -"You are simply not yet ready."
After taking a few more questions, Professor Slughorn finally ended the topic, and began to describe the potion they would brew today. It was a Shrinking Solution, one familiar to Severus, for he had learned how to brew it at age nine. Now, who to work with...
James and Sirius would work together, so they were out. Peter was outright abysmal. Remus was not terrible at Potions--he could follow instructions, and prepare ingredients with care--but his lycanthropy almost certainly meant he would be absent during one lesson each month. Perhaps, Professor Slughorn would allow Severus to brew on his own during this time...
"Hello. Fancy working together today?"
Severus reddened, realizing he'd been so distracted he hadn't seen Charity Burbage approach his table. Fortunately, she was smiling at him.
"All right," he agreed, returning the smile with one of his own.
"Excellent. So. How was the rest of your holiday?" she went on, taking a seat next to him.
"It was good. I, er, received your last owl a few days before term started, and thought I might see you before any letter I wrote arrived," Severus explained, sheepishly.
Fortunately, Charity just laughed. "Took Horace over a week, did it? Well, my mother says we need a new family owl."
"Do you have your own?" Severus asked, surprised.
The Burbage family did not, according to his mum anyway, possess the same level of wealth as the Blacks and Potters. But they were far from poor, and owls weren't terribly expensive.
Charity shook her head, and had she not tied back her hair, the action would have caused her curls to fall over her shoulders. "Papa said a cat would be a better pet, as the owls don't live with the students. He's not wrong, of course, but we've only the family one, and he can take awhile to deliver the post. Well. Shall we begin?"
"I expect we'd better." Severus glanced around. Of those who had chosen partners, the two of them were the only ones who hadn't started. "Do you want to prepare the ingredients, like last time?"
Charity bit on her lip, then immediately stopped. "Let's take turns. This time, yes, I'll prepare ingredients."
"All right."
They worked easily together, not that Severus would have expected otherwise. Slughorn had set them to brew a Fire Protection Potion, which was not meant to treat burns, as he'd emphasized, but allow the user to walk through flames unscathed. Of course, Professor Slughorn wouldn't put them to the test with it. They would be graded by appearance and consistency, and an expert like him would be able to tell if it would be sufficient without consuming it.
Severus, of course, had been able to brew one from memory since he was nine. Not that he'd brag about this to his classmate. At some point, perhaps, he'd have to brew a potion he hadn't created before, but his mum thought this would be years away. After his OWLs, perhaps.
Severus didn't need assistance, of course, but he could see the benefit of a competent partner. Everything Charity prepared was as flawless as if he had done it himself. Her mother might not have been a Potioneer who had taught her since she could use a knife, but Charity's skills were far above anyone else her age. Even Lily Evans, while excellent for a Muggle-Born, lacked the dexterity that came from years of practice. By the time Charity turned off the flame and they had bottled a sample, Severus knew they would receive full marks.
Professor Slughorn announced the time, and then proceeded to assign homework. Compared to their summer assignment from him, it was a pittance, but they had only one week to complete it.
"Fancy working on the assignment together?" Charity asked.
Severus had half expected her to ask to be his partner for brewing, not to work on assignments together, but he nodded abruptly.
"Sure. When would you like to do it?"
"Tomorrow afternoon. Perhaps at 11?" Charity queried. At his nod, she went on. "We can meet at the library entrance, if you like."
"Bound to be more quiet than the Gryffindor common room," he laughed.
"I can imagine, especially the weekend after a holiday." Then, she grinned. "You know, Severus, even we Ravenclaws will let our hair down, so to speak."
"Really?" Severus returned, rolling his eyes slightly.
She returned the gesture. "Yes, really. Mama always says it's important to move our bodies, lest we forget we have them." Charity shrugged. She glanced around, noticing they were the only ones left in the room. "I expect we should be going. See you tomorrow, then?"
"Yes, at the library at 11," Severus repeated, as they moved towards the door.
Sirius and James wanted to spend their free hours after lunch exploring the castle, so Severus and the others tagged along. While he would have preferred to spend the time reading outside, he didn't want to be left out of the fun. Besides, there were worse ways to pass a few hours.
"My dad keeps telling me there's this room that turns into whatever you want it to be," James was telling them. "Says he found it in his third year. But he won't tell me where it is, or how to enter."
"Do you need a password to do so?" Remus asked.
He looked a good deal better today, Severus noticed. His face had none of the paleness of the day before, and he was walking with the same speed as everyone else--and without a concerted effort.
"No password, or not in the traditional sense," James explained. "Rather, it's a set of instructions."
"Will they appear over the door?" Peter wondered, brows furrowed.
"'Course not! It would be too easy," James laughed.
It sounded like an impossible task, at least with so little information. But Severus would stroll the corridors with the rest of them, at least until they lost interest for the day.
They did take a break to visit the Owlery. Everyone had short letters to send their families, mostly to let them know of their safe arrival.
"Sirius!"
Severus's first thought, when he saw the female figure, was that Bellatrix had returned. But when she turned from the younger boy she was with and pulled Sirius into a long hug, Severus realized that this was Andromeda Black.
They did look rather similar, although Andromeda was prettier. Or, ar least, her beauty was less...severe than her older sister's.
"Hello, Andy," Sirius returned, after she let him go. "How's your seventh year treating you?"
She made a face. "I've only had two lessons, and I expect to be in the library all weekend."
"With Ted?" he asked, innocently.
Andy shot him a look. "We're in the same NEWT lessons, Sirius. Anyway," she added, "I was showing Regulus the owlery. Not that your parents don't already know of his Sorting, but he wanted to send them a letter."
"Right." Sirius's tone was suddenly stiff. "Good job, there, Reg."
"Thanks." The younger Black boy forced a smile. "I had my first lesson earlier. It was Transfiguration."
"How'd it go?" Sirius asked, sounding a bit more interested.
The younger boy actually smiled. "I was one of the three students who managed to turn the match into a needle. Professor McGonagall gave me ten points for Slytherin."
"That's great, Reg." Sirius drew in a breath, then spoke quickly. "Look, just because we're not in the same house doesn't mean we can't spend time together."
"Well, we don't have the same common room," Regulus pointed out.
"That doesn't matter," Andromeda spoke up, placing a hand around his shoulders. "You can share passwords. Professor Slughorn won't mind if your older brother visits, and I very much doubt it if Professor McGonagall has a rule against it. But," she added, quickly, "we can ask, and perhaps start out with Sirius visiting you. If that's all right?"
"Sure," Sirius answered, amicably. Then, he gave his younger brother a hug, and the boy leaned into it for several moments.
Even though Severus felt rather like an intruder in that moment, he was oddly grateful to see Sirius and his brother come to an understanding.
Hopefully, it would stick.
Notes:
Been awhile, I know. Have been focusing on Severitus fics. But you know the drill--I write when I feel inspired, and constructive feedback (ie, not just "update soon!" or a comment only correcting an obscure grammatical error--use the golden rule!) may help me to feel more motivated.

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