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Strangers, they were.
He was the guy that Kuzuha always sat next to on the bus. The times where they’d both coincidentally be on the same ride were Monday mornings. Kuzuha was running late as per usual, but the man beside him made the ride all bearable. It’s always an early bus which means that it’s never packed, but the two of them were always beside each other at the far back.
Kuzuha would already be sinking in the cold cushion by the time the guy stepped foot in the bus. It has occurred one too many times that Kuzuha now remembers that he was only two stops away from him.
His name is Kanae, he learned.
Once they were off the bus, Kuzuha had gathered the strength to start a conversation and of course, the social butterfly that he is asked if he was done with this week’s assignment, forgetting the fact that they are complete and utter strangers.
It seems that it was easy to forget that they aren’t any more than that.
“I am, actually.” The guy replied. “I guess I was right to assume that we attend the same university.”
“Kuzuha.” The white-haired man said in haste.
“Kanae,” He stated with a bright smile, and Kuzuha thinks he’s gonna go insane. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a long time now.”
Thump.
A loud ring erupted from Kanae’s pockets, startling them both. He gave Kuzuha a knowing glance and a slight bow to excuse himself, stepping back and taking his phone out to answer the call. Kuzuha watched as Kanae broke into a soft smile, a series of hums and soft chuckles coming from his mouth. Although his smile didn’t reach his eyes, the college student could see the small flicker of longing in it.
Kuzuha stared at him as he spoke, the mole near his eye caught his attention. He stared at it as the gentle acoustics of a guitar solo playing through his worn-out earphones slowly died out, Kanae’s voice and a faint “Bye, I love you.” barely registering in his brain.
Hearing Kanae’s footsteps coming closer, he met his eyes. “I guess you’ll be off now?” Kuzuha asked, noticing the slight disappointment in his voice. He thinks it’s ridiculous.
There’s a tiny feeling of relief in his chest at the fact that they are indeed strangers. He had a gut feeling that if they were any closer than this, it would be the same as feeling naked, vulnerable to the cold gray of his eyes.
“Yeah,” Kanae smiled. “My girlfriend’s waiting.”
In addition, he thinks it’s impossible to go further than that.
Kuzuha returned the smile with a small laugh, feeling a bit lightheaded. “Ah, of course. Wouldn’t want to keep the lady waiting.”
The man waved him goodbye and turned on his heel. Kuzuha followed suit, their eyes meeting for a split second – just in time before a blonde-haired girl clung to Kanae’s shoulders.
___________________________________
Of course, fate loves playing tricks.
Of course, it had to be in his favorite coffee shop.
The first time was a complete surprise and Kuzuha admits it was an encounter that left him feeling all tingly. He acknowledges the fact that the man has a girlfriend and makes it a point to himself that he’s never going to make any advances – not that he knows how, but the point still stands.
The second, albeit still pleasant, is something he hopes will never occur again. Kanae had walked over to his table, made small talk, and shared their complaints about this one professor – a similarity he never would’ve thought was possible with the way Kanae presented himself. It was all going well, until Kanae brought up how amusing it was that Kuzuha always ordered strawberry lattes every day without fail, at a coffee shop, at that. He went home embarrassed and complained about it to his dog for a good fifteen minutes.
Alas, they met again for the third time.
Kanae arrived first and offered to treat him this time, saying “It’s an early thank you gift” with a lovely smile – and although he didn't know what Kanae meant by that, who was he to refuse. Out of shame from their last encounter, he told Kanae in haste that he wants an Iced Americano.
The man tasked to spend his money today blinks in surprise. “Are you… sure?”
Kuzuha scoffed in response. “You underestimate me.”
“Why do I have a feeling you’re going to regret this,” Kanae mumbled, hesitant.
‘Oh, I am so going to regret this.’
“Never.”
He did regret it, unsurprisingly so.
Safe to say the drink was… unpleasant, for the lack of a better term, and left a bad taste on his tongue. It took all of his strength to not spit it out and make a fool out of himself for the nth time. Although he did a good job in doing so, he failed in minimizing the look of absolute disgust that adorned his face.
Kanae laughed a lot that day. Pure, carefree – genuine.
He looked good under the coffee shop’s dim lighting, seated so prettily beside the window glass that Kuzuha wishes he brought his camera with him. As they exchanged comical stories about university and bonded over coffee, the photography major persistently ignores the concerning pace of his heartbeat now and then.
It’s the coffee, he thinks.
It should be.
___________________________________
It’s the seventh accidental encounter where he realizes it was something more intense – something more terrifying.
They say it’s soft, sweet, kind – the type you endearingly look back on with time.
Falling in love was something much more violent, there’s a dull ache – almost bland, but it feels as though having your flesh torn apart over and over again. The slightest touch sends you spiraling into madness, the feeling of yearning easily eating away any sense of rationality.
“First loves usually represent your youth or a younger, simpler time, one which most people look upon fondly and long for.”
“Hoshikawa… Sara, right?” Kuzuha carefully recalls. Seeing the woman smile brightly at the mention of her name from an upperclassman’s mouth, he feels guilt weigh down his heart. Mirroring the smile, he extended his hand out for a handshake. “Nice to meet you.”
‘I’ve heard a lot about you.’ The words get stuck in his mouth.
“Nice to meet you, too!” Hoshikawa cheered and clasped their hands together for a brief greeting. “Kanae’s talked about you, lots.”
“I see.” He lightly chuckled. “Good things, I hope.”
“Oh certainly!” Hoshikawa brightens up even more, if that was even possible. Her gaze then softens and she looks up at Kuzuha as if he was someone so... respectable.
How absurd, Kuzuha thinks. If only she knew of the ridiculous feelings he holds for her lover, he would be the last person she’d highly regard.
“I’m actually a big fan of your work,” Hoshikawa said with a sheepish smile. “If you ever put your pieces up for an exhibition, I’d be first in line.”
Something in Kuzuha breaks.
She was warm, so frighteningly warm that Kuzuha couldn’t even find it in himself to selfishly harbor any feeling of negativity towards her.
“Maybe I’d pull some strings and hand you a VIP pass.” Kuzuha playfully said. The comment made both of them burst into a light fit of laughter.
“You’re as lovely as Kanae said.”
He feels nauseous.
Grinning, he said, “I share the same sentiment.”
They bid each other goodbye and he eyed the both of them as they disappeared off into the bustling crowd near the streets. The door finally closed, the sound of the final chime of the bell bouncing between the walls of the small space. It vibrated in his ears.
Kuzuha could feel a slight tug at his chest upon catching a whiff of the summer air that Kanae left in his trail.
Strangers, it was all they were.