Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Days have merged almost completely into one big blob of time that Kel can’t completely decipher. It’s been nearly a month since he had last seen any of his friends and he can’t stand it. After Sunny revealed the bitter truth about what happened to his older sister, everything got tense again. The memory plays on a loop in Kels mind as he grasps onto any train of thought that may lead him to understanding it clearly.

•One month before•

“I’m so…so sorry. But it happened and… I need to move on. It’s going to kill me if I don’t tell you all now.” Sunny mumbled from the side of his mouth, a small cut on his lip cracking open slightly as he spoke. Kel’s eyes were focused on the small bead of blood that sat on Sunny’s bottom lip as the boy finished his statement. Silence filled the room. At a certain point, he had stopped listening. He had been ELATED the last couple days hanging out with his old best friend just to have it all crumble around him. Hero was finally happy again. Aubrey was just starting to warm up.

‘Why now?’ Kel thought, daring himself to speak but he couldn’t force the words from his mouth. He tasted iron on his tongue, disregarding how his teeth dug into the insides of his cheeks and ignoring how bad the pain was getting.

“You fucking-“ Kel looked up, fully expecting Aubrey to be the first one to talk. She has nothing to lose and has never had any fear in speaking her mind before. He would have assumed the anger she already still held for the boy would have had her ready to fight him on the spot. But as Kel glanced up in Sunny’s direction, he sees Hero stepping forward towards the already injured 16 year old.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Hero spat out between his gritted teeth. The tension in the air was so thick, Kel was sure he could slice it with a knife. “She loved you so much, and you lied?!” Kel flinched at the hurt sound of his brothers voice. He heard a sharp ringing in his ears, it was like his brain was desperately trying to protect him from the reminder of Hero’s verbal abuse all those years ago after the news of Mari’s suicide came to light. He was so hurt then, and his words had stung so bad.

“You let me believe I did something wrong. I spent the last FOUR YEARS wondering how i could have seen the signs and how I could have saved her. What kind of FUCKING piece of shit does that to someone.” Kel watched as Hero stepped even closer to Sunny and roughly grabbed his hospital gown from the front. He looked ready to finish what basil had started with him the night before. Hero looked…unrecognizable. Like a completely different person. Without even a second of hesitation, Kel grabbed Hero’s wrist tightly. He looked at his older brother through wet, hurt eyes. Kel looked exhausted and Hero looked murderous. Crazed. It was terrifying.

“Stop. You’re better than this, Hero. “ Kel finally spoke up.

Everyone turned and faced him, even Basil who laid uncomfortably in the hospital bed. He didn’t want the attention on him, in fact Kel would for the first time in his life like nothing more than to just disappear. He wanted to be anywhere but in that room. Those feelings alone made him feel like a coward. It made him feel like a little kid. He felt like the 13 year old kid who had held and comforted Sunny after Mari was found. The kid who absorbed his brothers grief directed at him because he knew it was best to stay quiet and take it. Recalling that memory made his head sting. He felt so much hurt of his own, how was he supposed to be the rational one right now?

“I’m not going to see anyone else get hurt. I can’t…fucking take that. Let’s go.” He barely managed to get out at an audible volume. Hero eased up his grip on Sunny’s hospital gown and sighed. Without another word, Hero walks out of the room, throwing the door open as he walked through. Kel needed to get out too. He turned around to face Aubrey who appeared to be frozen in place, eyes stuck to the floor. He wanted to look at Basil or Sunny and tell them he still loves them and cares for them but the thought of looking even in their direction made him nauseous. He never thought he would feel so sour toward his best friend in the world. Sunny. His friend he waited four years to rekindle a relationship with. It felt like all those rainey days he spent sitting outside Sunny’s house, desperately hoping he would come out were all wasted. Without another thought, he grabbed Aubrey’s hand and laced their fingers and pulled her out of the room. He remembered how warm her hand felt in his and how tight she held onto him as he pulled her out of the room. He heard her small sniffle but couldn’t see her face behind her hair as they walked.

The walk home was painfully silent. The sun was bright and warm on their skin and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It was perfect outside. A perfect day for Gino’s, or a picnic in the park. Kel would kill for just one more picnic in the park with his friends. Behind the playground and through the trees. Right next to the pond Mari and Hero showed them all to catch frogs in. Just…one more day.

Kel walked Aubrey up to her front door and they stood there for a moment, not looking at each other until Kel finally dropped her hand, her eyes finally meeting his. He had no idea what to say. He had never been so close to her since they were just kids and it honestly made him almost uncomfortable now. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so awkward if Kel had reached out to her more. He wished he had been by her side to help her all those year ago.

Aubrey wiped her eyes and pushed the front door of her house open, looking back to Kel for just a second as the door began closing. It felt like time stopped in that moment and Kel just looked back at her, tears in his own eyes. He knew she wasn’t good with feelings and he knew she needed time to process. So did he. He wanted to just stand by her door and wait for her to be ready to talk, but he knew his brother needed him.

•Present Day•

Kel rubbed his eyes, begging for his headache to go away. Hero had started having nightmares again which meant Kel wouldn’t get any sleep either. Whenever Hero comes home to visit, Kel is back to having to share his bedroom. Which is actually the fucking worst when your brother is an insomniac. He has gotten pretty good at sleeping through Heros desk lamp light illuminating onto his face and learned to tune out the sound of Hero’s earbuds blasting at full volume all night. It usually wasn’t a problem to share a room with Hero even despite all that, except on the bad days.

Hero had these…outbursts. Kel would end up locked out of the room, forced to hear Hero screaming and punching and breaking things. Those days almost always resulted with Kel frantically throwing himself against the door in an attempt to break the door open to stop him and calm him down. When he would finally get in, sometimes he would have to pin Hero down on the floor until he stopped freaking out. Other times he could just sit and hug his brother and would pull out his phone to show his brother old pictures and videos of everyone having a good time together. Before everything happened. Being reminded of the bond they all had usually helped Hero and kept him hopeful for the future.

Recently Hero has gotten better though. The panic attacks came less often and he started sleeping a bit better. But the better Hero gets means the less Kel has to worry about him and the more he has to be stuck with his own thoughts and feelings. Today was a good day for Hero, which meant an awful day for Kel. Hero got up early and got himself dressed and went out to apply to a few jobs so he would stop spending all day in bed being miserable. But today Kel just laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he thought over and over about how he just left Sunny and Basil there after they revealed such a huge secret. A secret that literally almost killed them to keep. A secret that probably SHOULD have had them arrested. They were so young and so scared when it happened. Could he blame them? ‘Of course i can’t blame them’ Kel thinks to himself. It only took him 29 days to realize it.

He picked up his phone to see multiple texts from his brother, excitedly telling him about the cute girl he met on the bus and how he was going to take her out on a date. Kel smiled weakly for him and scrolled on his phone for a few minutes before he got bored. He eventually opened up his contacts, looking at his friends names. He wished he could talk to SOMEONE. Anyone. Kel thrived on social interaction and he was losing his mind. He had a few other friends on his basketball team that have tried to get him to come out, but he felt like he couldn’t leave Hero. Now that his brother was doing better, Kel had no energy to go out. But today he glanced out his window seeing the house that belonged to Sunny’s family. He had been doing his best to avoid looking out that window. He didn’t want to think about the boy who lived there. He knew that Sunny didn’t move as the ‘For Sale’ sign left and no one else moved in, but Sunny’s mothers car stopped pulling into the drive way every night. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was okay in there.

A pang of guilt struck Kel as he thought about Sunny leaving the hospital that day and going back to his lonely home. He remembered the shock he felt seeing how small Sunny was when he had finally opened the door for him. He didn’t ever take care of himself before. He looked skeletal and dainty. Like he would fall if you walked past him too quickly. Kel wiped his eyes as they began leaking tears again. ‘How could I leave him there again? I promised him I wouldn’t let him go through this shit alone’ Kel thought to himself, running his fingers through his hair and gripping it tightly. ‘That was before I knew it was his fault though’ That thought made his stomach hurt again. He shook his head at his own thoughts, trying to push it way far away. Sunny was just a KID. He was 12 years old and Basil was barely 13, they can’t be blamed for what happened. Kel couldn’t help feeling more resentment towards Basil for being the one to suggest disguising the accident, but he was trying his best to ignore those thoughts. Kel couldn’t imagine how he personally would have reacted at 12 to that. He couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t have done the same thing as them.

He worried about what Sunny was going through in that house on his own right now. Kel wrestled with his thoughts for a few minutes before his anxiety over his friends safety got the better of him. After a few more minutes of hesitation he groaned and jumped up to his feet, throwing his orange nikes on. He stared at himself in the mirror for a second, deciding to not change out of his black sweat pants and the grey tank top he had slept in that night. ‘It’s just Sunny there’ He reminded himself. Kel quickly walked down the stains towards his front door when he saw his mother playing in the living room with his baby sister. He felt a different type of guilt slap him hard when he sees that his baby sister Sally was standing up by herself. He stared at her for a minute before a gentle smile crept up onto his face. He felt awful realizing he had had no idea she had started standing. She’s getting so big.

“Kel! You slept in so late today” His mother exclaimed, seeing her son standing in the door way. Kel flinched as he was snapped out of his thoughts. He looked up at his mom and realized how little he wanted to talk and how anxious he was to go check on Sunny

“I made some lunch if you want some. It’s in the kitchen” She smiled. Kel shifted his weight to his other foot and grabbed the handle to the front door. He couldn’t express with words how badly he wanted to leave

“No thank you mom, i’m good” He rushed out quickly. Kels mother knew her two sons had been struggling, but Kel was an expert at slapping a big contagious smile on his face and telling everyone that he is okay. His mother was none the wiser.

“Can you please eat just a little bit?” Or so Kel thought. Her eyes looked over his body with a look of concern. Kel furrowed his eyebrows at her, looking down at his own body. He hadn’t felt like he had lost any weight or looked any thinner, but his mother was usually the one yelling at him to stop stuffing his face. He couldn’t remember a time his mom ever had to beg him to eat. He put on a soft smile and grabbed a banana from the kitchen and walked back to the door. He really didn’t want to worry his mom, especially when Hero and Sunny had things so much worse than him. So what if Kel was a little bit upset? He had no real reason compared to them.

“Thank you” he nodded at her and put the banana into his back pack, slipping through the front door and making his way to the large white house right next door to him.

His hands felt sweaty and as he looked down at them he realized just how bad he was shaking. He realized it had been 29 days since he knew Sunny was safe. How bad would that rejection have effected him? The guilt was going to swallow him alive. His thoughts drifted to Aubrey and how he wished he had called her to check in on her. Maybe he could see her later if everything went okay with Sunny.

He stepped up to the door and quickly knocked on the door, anxiety filling him yet again. ‘What do i do if he doesn’t answer?’ The brown haired teen wondered. Does he call the police? Does he break in? What if…it’s too late? He hated the thought that Sunny may do something to himself but Kel wasn’t an idiot. He knew what Sunny did when he was alone. Kel wanted to throw up. His frantic thoughts were interrupted as the door cracked open before he even had time to knock. Sunny peaked from behind the door at him and Kel watched as Sunny’s eyes lit up. Like he had been waiting behind that door for someone to come see him.

“Sunny-“ Kel began taking a step towards the door frame. He knew he needed to be gentle but he was so so ecstatic to see Sunny was safe. As if it was his natural reflex, he stepped inside and wrapped his arms around his emaciated childhood best friend.

“Are you okay? Why are you still here I don’t understand” The taller of the two rushed out. Sunny didn’t react at first, but after a moment he hugged Kel back. Kel was impatient to hear about Sunny and what was going on in his life. But he feared it may be too late to earn Sunny’s trust. “Can you please talk to me, Sunny, i’m really worried” he said under his breathe. Sunny pulled away from the embrace and wrapped his arms around his own torso as if he was looking for comfort.

“I’m really sorry” he told Kel, voice sounding cracked and broken like he hasn’t said a word in weeks. Kel realized Sunny probably really hasn’t.

“Dude, we were kids. You were a kid. You were scared and you didn’t know what was happening. It’s okay.” Kel reassured him. He glanced around the room and noticed it was still empty. He used to love how full of life Sunnys house was. “Why didn’t you move? You shouldn’t have been alone, you were supposed to go with your mom” He pushed. It seemed not right that he was here all alone. Why wasn’t his mom here with him? And why was it so empty still?

“I wanted to stay,” Sunny shrugged like it was no big deal for him. Kel frowned, glancing around the room for a second.

“That doesn’t make any sense” Kel began. “Your mom sold the house, you were supposed to leave with her”

“I couldn’t” Sunny finally looked up at him. “I…” He could tell Sunny was struggling to find the words. “This is my home. I’m nearly 17, my mom is letting me stay to finish up school” He insisted. That brought a scoff from Kels mouth.

“You haven’t showed up to school in weeks. Even Basil has been going” Kel argued with a frown.

Sunny recoiled slightly. “I’m trying to.” he spoke, though they both knew it was a lie. Kel sighed and walked over to the spot in the living room where the sofa used to be, sitting down criss cross apple sauce on the floor

“So you’re really here by yourself?” Sunny nodded. Kel looked over the others thin, short frame and frowned. Sunny’s face was sunken in and he looked even worse than before. He looked like he could drop dead at any moment. “Have you talked to Basil at all?” He awkwardly asked, knowing their other friend was probably suffering and not really knowing where to go with the conversation. He was just so thankful to see Sunny here safe.

“No.” The shorter boy replied plainly.

“We should go check on him,” Kel decided standing back up. “Right after i make you something to eat” Kel smiled. He opened up his bag and handed the banana from his mom over to Sunny. “Eat this while I cook” He told him while walking towards Sunny’s kitchen. “I’m not as good as Hero, but i’ll try!” He grinned at Sunny, hoping that would make him laugh, only to see the look of fear that washed over him.

Anxiety, no, fear took over Sunny at the mention of Hero’s name. He was so happy to see Kel there that he let himself forget the everlasting fear he had that Hero was going to break down the door and hurt him. Kill him for what he did to Mari. Hero’s love. Sunny’s hands started trembling as he considered the very real, in his mind, possibility that this was all a set up. Kel coming over to break down his guards and let Hero in to get him. He knew he deserved to die, he deserved Hero’s wrath. But he was still so scared. He didn’t want to die, but he knew he deserved to.

Kel couldn’t quite read his expression. “Sunny, what’s wrong?” he quickly asked, stepping a little closer. He realized after a moment the problem. “Are you worried about Hero? He is okay. He’s doing better.” Kel tried to reassure him, thinking the problem was that Sunny felt guilty. He understood why Sunny may feel that way, but he really has been killing himself over it slowly for years. He deserves to move on.

Yet Sunny shook his head softly, barely even moving his head. “What’s the problem?” Kel stared hard at his friend trying to grasp what was happening.

“Is he here?” Sunny tried to ask but it came out as hardly a whisper.

“What?”

“Where is he?” Sunny spoke up sharply. His eyes dart to the front door, trying to decide what his next move would be. If Hero walked in that door, should Sunny run or simply accept his punishment? His nails dug into his arms he still had crossed around his small body. Thankfully for him, his nail biting habit has kept them short and dull and unable to hurt himself too bad.

“What do you mean?” Kel asked, taken aback by Sunny’s question. “It’s just us, Hero doesn’t know i’m here” He said gently. Kel could tell Sunny didn’t believe him. Kel had never seen Sunny so on edge before, he didn’t know why he was so scared. Sunny’s eyes were glancing around the room, anticipating Hero to come out from anywhere. Seeing how frantic Sunny looked pained Kel too much to bare and he quickly moved back next to his friend. “Sunny I need you to trust me. You’re safe. Why are you so scared?” He urged.

“He wants to kill me” Sunny spat out.

Sunny wasn’t sure WHO exactly wanted to kill him. Everyone, probably. Before Kel came by Sunny had convinced himself that even HE wanted to kill him. There was a voice in his head that just reminded him of how much everyone must hate him. ‘Hero loved her and you killed her.’ Sunny hears like it’s coming straight from his brain. ‘AUBREY loved her and YOU KILLED HER.’ The voice echos in his head. Sunny desperately covered his ears, hoping it would make the voice shut the fuck up for even a second. He saw it in his dreams every night. A version of himself that wasn’t quite right. A version of himself that scared him to his core. That must be the version of himself that all of his friends saw. A monster. A murderer. Evil. Disgusting. That’s the version of himself his father must have seen when he left. The version of himself his mother must have finally witnessed when she left him alone in their old family home here in Faraway. That must be who Sunny truly is. A loser, evil hikikomori who murdered his sister and LIED.

“No one wants to hurt you, Sunny,” Kel whimpered out, trying to stay calm. “Hero doesn’t want to hurt you, dude. He loves you! He just…needs time…” Kel pulled Sunny in close and gently rubbed his hand against the others back. “He was mad at first. Then he got really, REALLY sad. It was like he had to reprocess everything. But he is doing really good now.” Kel smiled, blinking his eyes a few times to try to keep them from wetting. He tried to wipe his face quickly so that if Sunny were to look up at him right now he wouldn’t know just how bad it hurt to hear him say that Hero wanted to hurt him. Kel didn’t believe Hero was capable of hurting anyone.

“Hero has always seen you like a brother. You’re the little brother he had always wanted” Kel told him sincerely. He had always felt like it was true. Sunny was smart and calculated and so talented. The complete opposite of Kel. “No matter what, he could never hate you. Look at you,” Kel began, pulling away from the embrace slightly to take a look at Sunny’s face. He looking over his features for a moment and smiled gently. “You’ve got Mari’s nose, and her eyes,” Kel began, realizing just how similar he truly looked to his older sister. You think Hero could look at you and truly hate you when you’ve got her blood in you?” He meant every word of it. Hero can be mad all he wants, but he couldn’t push away the last reminder of his love, Mari. Kel watched as a small smile was placed on Sunny’s face.

“Really?” He asked softly. That was all Kel needed to perk up. “Really.” Kel beamed. This felt like a good start. He was so glad he was able to reassure Sunny enough to get even a tiny grin out of him.

A couple moments of an uncomfortable silence passed and Kel decided to get back to his original plan.

“I really do want to make you something to eat. I’m going to be honest dude, you’re not looking the best” Kel half chuckled, finally letting go of Sunny. He walked toward the kitchen again and pulled the fridge open, feeling his heart sink the moment the door was opened. There was…nothing in here. A ketchup bottle on the door next to a nearly empty bottle of soy sauce. In the top shelf was what appeared to be…a steak? It looked like it has been cooked already but it looked dry like it has been in there a while. Besides that, the only other thing in there was an empty tea pitcher. This was the saddest thing Kel had ever seen. He looked back at Sunny with a sad frown already plastered on his face.

Sunny didn’t look embarrassed by the lack of food though. He looked unphased. Like that was completely normal for him. Kel remembered all the dinner they used to eat as kids in that house. How lively it was having everyone there for meals. When Sunny’s parents were still together and Mari had Hero over and Aubrey would bring Basil. This kitchen has turned sad and that bummed Kel out more than anything.

“No problem, bud. Let’s go pick something up. When was the last time you’ve been to Gino’s?” He tried to play it all off as normal as to not upset Sunny. He didn’t want to judge him.

“Last time we went together” Sunny told him. Last month, three days before the hospital trip. Three days before his fight with Basil. The thought made Kel shutter. The two of them really had a rough time after Mari passed. He couldn’t imagine the emotional turmoil they both experienced that led them to the point they were at when admitted to the hospital.

“Do you want to see Basil? We can bring him,” Kel offered. As much as he felt like Sunny and himself were best friends, He knew there was no one in this world but Basil who knew what he was going through. Maybe it would be best to get through this together? “I’m sure he could use his friends right now too.” He insisted. It was going to be hard for him to see Basil, but he knew that if anything really did happen to the blonde headed boy, Kel wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

Sunny simply nodded like he didn’t trust how his voice would sound. “Let’s go then.”Kel walked to the door, grabbing Sunny’s sneakers for him. He waited patiently for Sunny to get ready to go, knowing this was all taking up a lot more energy than he was used to using. When Sunny was finally ready, they stepped out the door and began making their way to Basils house. Sunny was nervous, they hadn’t talked at all since the truth came out.

Chapter Text

Sunny followed carefully behind Kel as they walked the familiar path around the block down to Basil’s house. He learned before that Basil had been living there alone with his Nanny since his grandma had passed and Sunny felt almost jealous. Basil had someone there for him. Basil had everything in the world. Sunny gritted his teeth the more he thought about it. Why did Basil get everything so damn good?

Kel glanced over towards Sunny, feeling like he could see his agitated aura. He slowed down his pace to let Sunny catch up and he draped one of his tan arms around Sunny’s shoulders. “Don’t freak yourself out, man,” The older of the two reassured him. “Everything’s good.”

Sunny looked up at Kel and took a deep breath, then held the breath in his lungs until he felt himself calming down. ‘Basil is sorry.’ Sunny tried to remind himself.

“He lied” The voice in his head echoed. Sunny’s teeth gritted again.

“Of course he apologized. That’s because he didn’t want to get in trouble. Wouldn’t you apologize in that situation?” The voice spat venomously. It was getting really difficult to ignore him and Sunny was doing his absolute best to focus on his breathing.

‘Basil is SORRY and he was PROTECTING ME’ Sunny argued with the harsh voice in his mind. The voice didn’t bother replying back again.

Kel kept his arm around Sunny’s shoulders as they walked, trying to allow himself to enjoy the sun on his skin. “You still look upset,” Kel pointed out, studying the shorter boys face carefully.

“I’m fine, just have a headache” Sunny replied, trying to give a reassuring smile but in truth his facial expression hardly changed at all. Kel just nodded, accepting Sunny’s vague answer. It wasn’t unbelievable that Sunny had a headache, the sun is pretty bright. Seemed genuine enough.

Pretty soon they rounded Basil’s street and Kel tried to not let anxiety overtake him yet again. It was almost like how he felt nearing Sunny’s house an hour ago. Unsure the state that he would find his old friend in, if his friend would be safe or not. If he would be…. Kel shook his head, trying to force that thought out. Of course Basil was there and of course he was safe. He had Polly. Sweet Polly.

Kel almost grinned at the thought of Polly, almost instantly feeling calmed from his previous anxieties. Polly, Basil’s nanny Kel had gotten familiar with last month before everything had gone to shit. She was nice and very pretty and Kel knew that if he was older he definitely would try to ask Polly out. He remembered Aubrey glaring at him when they all went over last month to Basil’s house as Kel sat in the kitchen chatting her up. It was cute how Aubrey tried to act like she never cared about anyone else but was annoyed by Kel’s flirty nature. Typical Audrey.

Kel kept that smile on her face as they walked up the steps and rang the door bell. Only a few moments passed before Polly opened the door and her face lit up at the sight of the two boys who she knew as Basil’s closest friends. “Well if it isn’t Kelsey!” She teased, a blush pooling to the 17 year old teens cheeks.

“You sure know how to make a guy nervous, Polly,” He laughed shyly, raising an arm to scratch the back of his neck. He shook off the fact that a pretty woman was teasing him and reminded himself why they were there. “Is Basil here?”

“He is, and i’m glad you guys are here. He’s having a rough time” She admitted gently, hoping maybe having friends around would get Basil out of his funk. “He stays cooped up in his room all the time and he doesn’t really let me in to talk too much. Maybe he will let you guys in?” She suggested, holding the front door open wider for them to come in.

“You can count on us, Pol.” Kel removed his arm from around Sunny’s shoulder and walked in, heading right up the stairs to where he remembered his blonde haired friends room being. “Basil?” Kel began as he was about halfway up the stairs.

They approached the others door and they could hear soft music coming from the room. Piano music. Sunny recognized it to be Bach, A Prelude in C Major. One of the first songs Sunny learned to play with his sister. The soft sound coming through the door brought a sweet feeling of nostalgia to the youngest of the group. It reminded him of summer days standing next to Mari at the piano, friends sitting on the floor around them soaking in the sounds. He remembered their applause and how good it felt to be surrounded by so many people who supported him. It felt…nice to hear it again. Sunny didn’t know that Basil even listened to classical music but it really did seem like it would be Basil’s style. And with that gentle reminder of the past made Sunny feel like he could finally forgive and move on.

Kel knocked on the door loudly, pulling the other out of his thoughts. Sunny stood behind him by the stairs, still half entranced by the song playing in the room. “Open up Basil!” Kel said louder, the music pausing a few seconds after.

There was nothing but silence from both sides of the bedroom door for far too long for anyone to be comfortable with. Kel was about to knock again when a timid voice called back to them.

“Who, uh, who is it?” Basils nervous voice asked from behind the door, not recognizing Kel’s loud voice at first. He had only had Polly checking on him and as far as he knew, Polly wasn’t seeing anyone? Why would there be a man outside the door loudly knocking and demanding his attention?

“Who do you think?” Kel replied back, a playful smile forming on his face. Basil was safe. All his friends were safe. Perfect.

“I don’t know?” Basil retorted quickly, seriously unable to pin point whose voice it was. Kel and Sunny were two of the last people he would expect to be there.

“Open and find out” Kel chuckled. Kel knew he couldn’t stay upset, even after everything. Basil was safe and Sunny was safe and Hero was healing.

Kels goofy laugh was what gave it away for Basil. His eyes widened and he felt his stomach drop. What was Kel doing HERE? Why would Polly let him in? Was he alone? Was his brother with him?

Basil hesitated for a moment before pulling the door open, looking at his two old friends now directly in front of him. “Um, hey?” Basil tried to say confidently but it came out more like a question. “Why are you here?” Basil asked, instantly hoping it didn’t sound like he was being rude. He truly just had no idea what to say. Basil had been waiting for almost a full month to hear from Sunny and he was sure that he would never hear from him again.

It had been an extremely hard month for Basil and by this point, Basil accepted that he would die alone without the forgiveness of any of his friends. It’s an awful mindset to have, but it’s simply the truth. Polly tried to remind him often that she loves and cares for him, but sometimes that isn’t enough. Basil wished Polly’s love was enough.

“Sunny wanted to come check up on you” Kel told him, looking back at Sunny to urge him to come closer. Sunny took a step towards the two older boys, eyes looking in any direction besides at them. He took a deep breath trying again to calm down with breathing exercises.

Basil felt a flutter in his stomach as Kel told him it was Sunny’s idea to see him. That was all he needed this whole time. Th smallest bit of validation from ANYONE that he was someone they could care about and miss would have been enough to pull Basil back from this ledge he had been trying time and time again to throw himself off of. “Heya Sunny.” Basil said gently, realizing now just how badly he missed the other boy. Basil moved his hand up to scratch his other arm, hands brushing against some white bandage that was wrapped securely around his forearm.

In the last 29 days, Basil had been in and out of a hospital three times besides when he and Sunny were sent there together. He was having a really hard time coping with the way his friends took the news and the rejection from Sunny that followed. He hadn’t been ready for Sunny to confess and he definitely wasn’t ready to lose everyone he had just reunited with. On top of all that, Sunny left again. He didn’t even get to apologize to Sunny for how everything went down and now here Sunny was, standing in front of him with the white cloth eyepatch still over his right eye. Basil had no idea the severity of Sunny’s injury, if he could even still see from that eye. He hoped to whatever god existed out there that Sunny was alright.

“How are you guys?” Basil asked awkwardly, but he had gained a little more confidence knowing that Sunny was the one who wanted to see him. And Kel’s goofy smile was reassuring enough.

“Hanging in there. Sunny is staying in Faraway for a while still, as you can tell. Now it can be just like it was before” Kel delicately suggested, hoping that the words he was saying could be the truth one day. Maybe today was the first step towards getting back to normal. This day had to come eventually and he hoped this was the start of a new beginning. He hoped that Sunny or Basil would buy that at least.

Sunny was skeptical of Kel’s promise, but Basils eyes glimmered at the bit of hope Kel gave him. Could things really be like before? When Sunny and Basil and everyone went to Hobbiez and Gino’s and watched movies in Sunny’s living room? Basil really hoped so. “I’m really glad for that.” Basil said, looking directly at Sunny.

Kel and Sunny both took notice of the bandages around Basils arms at different times in the conversation. Sunny noticed right away, wondering what exactly pushed Basil so far as to injure himself. He wondered what the breaking point was. He wondered if it was at all because of him.

‘Of course it is because of you’ The voice in his head growled at him. ‘Basil wants to die because of you.’ Sunny squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, trying to calm down so this horrible voice would just fuck off.

‘First you killed Mari now you want Basil dead too? You’re selfish. Vile. Imagine how badly Kel would hate you if he knew Basil hurt himself over you’ The voice spike tauntingly at him.

Sunny swallowed and opened his eyes, seeing his friends still in front of him, Basil looking towards him with his big beautiful blue eyes. Sunny was confused, because Basil looked….happy. So why would he hurt himself? Is that even what the bandages are from? Sunny wondered if he was actually fucked up for assuming that. He almost wanted to ask about it just to clear his conscience, but asking him about what happened just left for too many other personal questions to come out which didn’t seem like fun for either of them. They weren’t ready to get too serious.

“How are you doing, Basil?” Kel asked in return, hoping that everything truly was okay for him. Kel had just noticed the bandages but genuinely thought little about it. He never would have guessed the demons Basil has had to fight off this past month.

“It’s been…um…not the best?” Basil admitted, turning his gaze away from Sunny and towards the wall behind them so he wouldn’t have to hold eye contact. “It’s kind of hard being alone” Basil continued awkwardly.

Kel understood what Basil meant, but being around grieving Hero 24/7 proved that there truly was a such thing as ‘Too much company’. But knowing the situation his two friends were in made Kel feel like he didn’t truly understand them.

“I know what you mean,” Sunny finally chimed in, nodding his head once in agreement. “Its hard being alone” Sunny looked down at the ground, embarrassed that he was confessing his emotions about this.

But the sound of Sunny talking about his feelings was like music to Kel’s ears. It felt like progress was being made already.

Basil felt a little conflicted, unsure what exactly to say. Sunny promised him before that they wouldn’t have to be alone again and he lied to him. But Basil knew deep down that he couldn’t have truly expected Sunny to keep that promise. Was this Sunny telling him he doesn’t want to break the promise again? Basil felt that would be way too presumptuous to ask.

“Well i’m here guys!” Kel beamed, trying to lighten the mood a bit. Thankfully, that did pull a chuckle from Basil and a grin from Sunny. “I don’t want to have to spend another day just laying in bed just listening to Hero’s crying. I love him but I can’t do it anymore” Kel tried to joke, but now it was Basil’s turn to be forced to think about Hero again.

After a moment of silence between the three of them, Basil felt like he had to speak the thought that was nagging in his mind. He couldn’t help but finally ask the question that haunted him every waking day and every night as he tried to fall asleep

“Does he hate me?”

Chapter Text

“Does he hate me?” Basil asked abruptly, anxiously playing with his own fingers. Deep down he knew the answer had to be yes, but he really did hope that Kel could say it wasn’t true. He spent every day hating himself because of how he made Hero feel, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do if the answer was yes.

Kel was silent for a moment, thinking of what exactly to say. He wasn’t Hero so it was hard to speak for him, but he did have a general idea. He knew his brother would always care for Sunny, even if he was mad at him. He would always love Sunny at least a little, but Basil? Yes, usually Hero’s anger was directed towards Sunny but Kel knew the brutal things Hero had screamed towards Basil as well. Stuff Kel would never repeat to the fragile boy, or to anyone really.

“Hero is complicated,” Kel started carefully, thinking out his words. He really didn’t want to hurt them but they all needed to tell the truth and trust each other. Nothing would be fixed until they had trust. And lying about this was something that could just bite Kel in the ass later.

“He really does care about you guys… but he has a lot of feelings. I don’t think he wants anything bad to happen to either of you. But he is just having a hard time accepting it all.” Kel spoke softly, hoping that his answer was okay enough to satisfy his curiosity without hurting his feelings.

Basil nodded, eyes falling on the floor. “Do you think he will ever forgive me?” Basil hopefully asked. If there was even a slight chance of Hero forgiving Basil for what happened, he would keep trying. He did sometimes wonder if Hero would be happier if Basil just didn’t exist anymore. There have been times that thought is just way too loud and the urges to just disappear have been too intense to ignore. Part of him wished that his attempts had been successful, however he wondered if it was a good thing he was still here after all now that his old friends came to see him.

“He needs time” Kel explained, offering a sympathetic half smile. Basil seemed to accept it, still fidgeting with his hands. That was rough. He would continue trying his best to give Hero space, but all he wanted in the world was to not feel like his favorite people in the worse despised him.

“I’m also, uh, not planning on telling him i came to see you guys. I don’t think he is ready for all that.” Kel said, looking back and forth between his two friends. He just didn’t want to risk Hero finding out yet. This could really hurt him ESPECIALLY if he found out Kel went to see them behind his back. “But i’m happy everyone is good and i’m excited to spend time with you guys again!” Kel smiled at them, hoping that Kel’s approval of them was enough.

Basil tried to smile back at him, but it felt weak and insincere. He was really sad at the thought Hero may hate him and there was nothing he could do about it and it made him feel like he was worthless. But Kel was here, and so was Sunny. They wanted to be there.

“Anyway,” Kel began, looking over Sunny’s small frame briefly and remembered why exactly they came over. “We were going to get some food and wanted you come with” Kel told the short blonde boy. “Gino’s is just down the way and we are starving”

Basil looked like he was deeply considering it, wanting nothing more in this moment than to spend time with his best friends again. But something made him feel like he couldn’t accept. Like they were only offering to be nice and they would actually be upset if he accepted.

“I don’t think i should, i..i mean i have some things i need to do here and some homework and i’m not sure if Polly will let me go today so suddenly and…” Basil rambled on looking for any reason to not go. He felt so little and insecure.

“Please come” Sunny spoke up, his caramel brown eyes meeting Basils bright blues.

Basil’s thoughts were finally silenced.

Sunny didn’t want to beg for anyone to spend time with him, but he felt like he needed Basil by his side. He felt like Kel and Basil on each side of him at Gino’s would bring some peace into his life for once.

Basils heart skipped a beat hearing Sunny’s cool and calm voice ask him again to come. He didn’t want to let Sunny down. He wanted to get close with him again and for them to trust each other and be able to rely on each other. He missed him so fucking much. He missed everyone who used to be actively a part of his life, but Sunny was always special to him.

“Okay… okay let me ask Polly first,” Basil agreed, stepping out of his room and shutting the door behind him quickly. Sunny noticed how fast the door slammed shut and wondered what was in there that he didn’t want them to see.

Basil started down the stairs, quickly realizing Polly was just at the bottoms of the stairs trying to listen in on everything. Her face immediately burned red, so embarrassed that they saw her listening in. She felt bad, she really did respect Basils privacy and would usually NEVER do this. She had just been so worried about him recently and was a little nervous how things would go with his friends.

“Hi hun! You guys going somewhere?” She asked sweetly, trying to play off the fact she clearly had been listening to them.

“Can we go to Gino’s?” The 17 year old asked his Nanny, bringing a large smile to her face.

“Be back before dark or call me if you’ll be later” She told him, smiling approvingly. Basil nodded in agreement and started towards the shoe rack by the front door to find his white and black adidas.

Kel almost immediately began pushing them out the door, starting to get extremely hungry himself. He wished he had listened to his mom and had some lunch before.

Pretty soon they were out of Basils house and walking towards the plaza next to the park. Gino’s was now in sight and Kel felt his stomach cramping.

The tallest of the group led the way into the restaurant, immediately ordering a large pizza and cheesy bread and three sodas for the group. It wasn’t until they asked for payment that Kel’s smile fell. “Shit” he mumbled, patting his hands on his sweat pants pocket only to not feel his wallet. He felt so embarrassed that he didn’t even grab his wallet before going over to Sunny’s house, but how was he supposed to know the state he would find him in?

“Hey, Sunny” Kel nervously laughed out. “Have you got 20 bucks on you?” He coyly asked. Sunny glared up at him for a moment before easing up and pulling his wallet from his pocket, handing Kel his only $20 bill. Kel happily grabbed it from him and handed it to the cashier. He took their cups and started walking towards the soda machine. “Thanks man! I’ll pay you back, I promise!”

Sunny knew Kel’s money borrowing habits and knew he would likely never see that $20 again. But that is okay. He was happy to be there with them. He used to get so mad at Kel for taking his money and spending it on stupid shit like basketball cards and snacks from the gas station near their house. Sunny liked to save his money and spend it on one big thing he really wanted and Kel just thought in the moment. Right now he felt like there was no way he could be mad with Kel. He was trying to be nice.

They finally sat down with their food and while it was silent at first, it was really nice. Basil excitedly bit into the cheesy bread, humming dramatically at the taste. Kel immediately bursted into laughter at the sound, causing Sunny to snort out a laugh. Sunny’s snort immediately made Basil laugh with them, Sunny covering his face with his hands. All three friends were laughing childishly and for the first time in years it felt like everything could be okay again.

“It’s just, hah, been a while since i’ve had pizza” Basil tried to explain himself, embarrassed that they made his reaction weird. Sunny and Kel just kept giggling, their faces both bright red.

They all happily continued eating their food, but Kel and Sunny both felt an absence. Well, there were definitely a few people missing, but Kel wished Aubrey was here. But he had no idea how to even begin telling her about him reaching out to the two boys who broke her heart.

“Hey Sunny,” Kel spoke, still chewing his food. Sunny gave him a grossed out look as he saw the food in the others mouth. But he said nothing, just looked at Kel with an attentive expression.

“You liked Aubrey when we were kids, didn’t you?” He asked, swallowing the food and taking a sip from his soda.

Sunny’s face burned at the question, looking over at Basil for a moment to read his expression. He just smiled back at Sunny as if the question was amusing to him.

“Um, i-uh” The black haired boy stammered. How could Kel have known that? Basil was the only person in the world he had ever told about that. He never even told Mari, no one should know.

“It was so obvious” Kel laughed delicately, just poking some fun at him. “Do you still like her?” He asked curiously. Kel didn’t know how he felt towards Aubrey, but he knew he smiled at the thought of her smile. He knew that he loved to hate her. Kel loved picking on her and he loved their banter. He missed her.

“I mean, I haven’t seen her in a while. And when I did see her she wasn’t too fond of me” Sunny finally answered. Sunny wasn’t sure if Aubrey would even see him as a friend again let alone anything more. It felt unfair to even think about her that way when he knew she couldn’t stand him.

Kel nodded softly, looking back towards Basil. “What about you?” He asked playfully, Basil immediately shaking his head with a comfortable chuckle.

“Nope. She was, um, not my type” Basil replied back with a chuckle. Basil had never really talked about his sexuality with any of his friends, but that was because he never needed to talk about his crushes with them. He had always had a soft spot for his best friend. Sunny. But he knew about Sunny’s feelings for Aubrey and the crush he briefly had on his neighbor Kris. He respected Sunny and their friendship way too much to ever tell him how he felt. So he didn’t bother to talk to anyone about it.

“No other girls at school you’re into?” Kel raised his eyebrows at Basil a couple times, earning another small laugh.

“No girls, no”

“That’s not normal, you should go get that checked out” Kel joked with him, not even considering the possibility that Basil just simply wasn’t interested in girls. He just sort of thought Basil had meant that he just never had a crush before.

Sunny looked surprised by Kel and turned to look at Basil who was giggling over the comment. Sunny wondered if he should say anything to Kel about what Basil may have meant, but he saw the playful Basil gently shake his head. They both knew Kel could be such an airhead.

“Why do you ask?” Sunny questioned Kel, unsure why Kel would ask such a weird question about the girl that hadn’t been close to in a long time.

Kel just shrugged, taking a bite of his pizza before taking a hard look around the familiar pizza place he grew up going to. He felt almost weird about the idea of admitting he was wanting to see Aubrey again. He wanted to talk to her friends about the quiet walk home with her from the hospital and how he sees her blue eyes in his head before he falls asleep every other night. How he misses the feeling on her fingers laced with his own. But that would require bringing up the hospital and he didn’t feel like that would be good for them right now. Everything was going great.

“I just realized that we have never actually talked about it” Kel shrugged again, trying to play it off like it was nothing. “I feel like we never really talked about that kind of thing together. Girls and stuff like that.”

Kel and his basketball friends talked about girls a lot in general and he was realizing that growing up that was never really something Sunny or Basil shared with him. Part of him did wish that they had had that type of relationship.

“How is Aubrey?” Basil decided to test the waters. He had hoped that she was well, despite the fact that him and Aubrey have never had a good history. Not since they were very young kids. Which was sad considering Aubrey was the one to introduce Basil to Sunny.

“I have no idea” Kel told him truthfully. “I haven’t seen her since…you know… everything happened”

Sunny immediately took note of Kel’s expression changing. But he couldn’t tell what the look exactly was. Like he was deep in thought? Almost sad. Not anxious like on the walk over to Basils house. But like something had happened between them.

The air got thick and they sat in a tense silence. Kel really did want to talk to her but he didn’t know how to even do that now. They had never really hung out outside of the group before and they haven’t even done that in forever. And after leaving her at her door with tears in her eyes that day, he wants nothing more than to see her with a smile.

The group spoke for another hour, the mood lifting a bit before they decided to go. The sun was setting and they decided to start walking back home. Kel was having a bit of anxiety around leaving them back at their homes. He wished they could have a sleep over just for tonight to make sure that everyone was good.

Before they even got back to Basils house to drop him off, he felt his phone in his pocket vibrating. He assumed it was just his mom checking in on him as it was getting later, but as he pull d his phone out he realized how wrong he was.

Hero’s photo appeared on the screen and Kel got a bit nervous by the idea of his friends seeing who was calling him. He abruptly stopped walking and stared at the screen for a moment before answering.

“H-Hello?” He stammered, hoping Sunny and Basil would stay quiet so Hero wouldn’t know who he was with.

“Kel?” Hero breathed out as soon as he heard Kel’s voice. Kel could hear heavy breathing coming from his brother. “Where are you? I really need your help” Kel was thrown off by how panicked Hero was. “Please it’s important”

Chapter Text

Kel froze in his spot, blood driving from his face. He hadn’t heard Hero so upset in weeks now and he so anxious that somehow Hero had seen him with the others and was mad.

“What’s up?” Kel asked, concern dripping from his voice. His hand gripped the phone so tight it could have broken in half.

“Please come home” Hero begged, sounding like he was on the brink of tears. Kel’s heart was pounding out of his chest. He was genuinely terrified of what would happen if Hero knew who Kel was with. He didn’t want his brother to feel betrayed but also Kel felt like being there for the others was something he just had to do. Hero HAD to understand. Right?

“I’m on my way.” Kel spoke as fast as he could without stumbling over his words. He turned back to his friends, eyes wide and face looking rather pale. “Guys I-“ He began, taking a deep breath in an attempt to ground himself. He had no idea why Hero was so freaked out but he was hoping to got it wasn’t an emergency.

“I really need to go, like, right now” He told them nervously, seeing Basil nod in understanding right away while Sunny looked concerned. He recognized Hero’s voice through the phone and felt nervous something was very wrong with him, guilt bubbling in his stomach again. He was also feeling unsure what to do with himself now that they were outside Basils house and Kel had to leave. Sunny anxiously looked back and forth between the two of them, Basil catching on to what had Sunny feeling so conflicted.

“That’s okay,” Basil told Kel, turning back to face Sunny. “You can stay here for a bit, um…if you wanted to, Sunny.” Basil offered, cheeks blushing softly at the younger boy. He really wanted some time with just Sunny so he could try and truly apologize to him without Kel listening in. Basil loved Kel dearly, but he would never understand.

Sunny glanced back to Kel to make sure he thought that was a good idea before agreeing. “You should stay Sunny, don’t let me ruin the party. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?” Kel tried to smile for his friends despite how scared he was feeling. Sunny nodded, looking back to Basil who was standing on the first step leading up to the front door of his house already. “Yeah, I’ll stay.” He agreed. Basil and Sunny awkwardly waved good bye to Kel and watched as he quickly jogged down the road back towards the street him and Sunny lived on.

Basil turned to lead Sunny back towards the front door, anxious but excited to be there alone with him. Well, not completely alone since Polly was there. It was like things were normal again. Basil and Sunny used to spend almost every day after school alone together for at least a couple house before the rest of the friend group came over to hang out. Kel usually had so many extra curricular activities that he couldn’t walk home with them, so Sunny went over to Basils a lot.

The two had also had their fair share of sleep overs in this home, so walking in the door so late together felt almost like Sunny’s mom just gave him permission to go sleep over there. Like Sunny had his bag packed with his Gameboy ready for them to play Pokémon all night. But that wasn’t the case. They weren’t kids anymore and they weren’t coming for a sleep over. The memory of the last time Sunny slept over was looming in Basils mind, tainting all the happy memories he was reminiscing on.

Having everyone staying the night last month was too much for him. He thought he could handle it but he couldn’t and he snapped. He spent all night in the bathroom, ready to end all his anxieties when… Sunny saved him. Sunny saved him from himself and in return Basil HURT him.

The blonde boy cringed at the memory, remembering all the blood pouring from Sunny’s eye. It wasn’t like this was even something from the past to just get over, either. Sunny still had a bandage over his eye. Basil felt like he had to know what exactly had happened after everything but he had no idea how to start that conversation.

The two walked into the living room and Basil kicked his shoes off by the door, eyeing the stairs firmly for a moment before looking back at his friend. “Give me just one second, I’ll be right back down” Basil stammered out, quickly disappearing into his bedroom. Sunny was even more curious about what Basil was hiding. It was so confusing.

But Sunny simply nodded, taking the time to look around at the room at all the plants Basil had. He knew he had thought very negative things about Basil before for having so many nice things, but deep down he thought it was amazing that he had Polly. Polly let him fill their home up with tons of plants and pieces of art Basil picked out were hung from every wall. It was nice and comfortable. Just like he remembered.

After a few minutes, Basil’s bedroom door opened and Sunny saw his usually pale face peaking down from the top of the stairs. “You can come up here now” He spoke softly, trying to muster up any courage he had to be confident around Sunny.

Sunny’s attention was immediately grabbed by Basil’s soft voice and his eyes shot over to him, turning to make his way up the stairs towards the bedroom. When he got to the top of the stairs, Basil held the door open and led him inside and motioned towards his bed.

Basils bedroom was pretty big with pastel yellow walls and a bed that was very low to the ground. The room was extremely different from how Sunny remembered. There used to be a large white mesh canopy over Basils bed, with a bed frame that had the mattress sitting high off the ground. The room also used to be littered with posters and comic books but Basil appeared to have taken to a more minimalist aesthetic now.

There was a white dresser and wardrobe against the wall in the room that had a large window facing the street. Sunny took a seat on the bed and continued taking in the look of the once familiar room.

Basil had a record player sitting on his side table by his bed with a shelf full of records next to it. Sunny watched as he walked over and flipped the record that was already in it, the relaxing sound of Bach suddenly filling the room. The two boys jumped at how loud the music had been set to and Basil reached quickly to turn it down. “Oh, sorry,” Basil said quietly, walking over to take a seat next to Sunny on the bed and trying to ignore how awkward it was.

It was really silent and painfully awkward for a few moments before Basil decided he couldn’t take it anymore. “I am really sorry, Sunny.” He finally blurted out to his best friend, his chest feeling so tight all of a sudden. “Do you forgive me?” Basil felt so bad for seeming so straight forward and pushy but there was no point in dancing around this any longer, in his opinion.

Sunny looked into the others anxious eyes and he knew everything was forgiven. It was going to be so hard to let go and move on, but he knew he wasn’t really mad at him. Basil only ever tried to protect Sunny. He did what he could to keep him safe and he had to forgive him.

The room was silent for long enough that Basil’s nerves had his hands shaking. Basil was about to apologize again when Sunny loudly let out the breath he had been holding.

“Of course I forgive you.” He breathed out, looking up at him. Basils eyes lit up at the sound and he immediately leaned over and hugged Sunny tightly, head resting on the younger boys shoulder. “I’m so sorry for EVERYTHING. Seriously, everything. You have no idea how much I hate myself for everything that happened.” He rambled out, biting his lip hard while hiding his face against the crook of Sunnys neck. Sunny just held him back, hands gripping onto the back of Basil’s shirt. “Shut up, Basil” Sunny mumbled into Basil’s shoulder. “Just…shut up. Everything is okay” He couldn’t take anymore apologies.

Despite his best efforts, tears began spilling from Basil’s eyes at the words. “It’s not okay though,” Basil huffed, pulling away from the embrace to look at Sunny’s face. “Look at you, you’re all…” He was searching in his mind for the right words. “Bandaged up.” Basil frowned at him. “I’m so sorry that happened,” He continued, bringing a hand up to gently touch Sunny’s flushed cheek. “Is your eye okay?” He asked, chewing on his tongue in an attempt to shut himself up.

Sunny looked deep into Basils eyes, soaking in how full of emotion they were. Basils eyes have always told full length stories, you could learn so much about Basils person by taking a look into them. Sunny had never seen more expressive eyes before. It was like he always knew exactly what Basil was thinking by simply looking into them.

Sunny didn’t know what exactly to say. His eye wasn’t okay, but it was OKAY that it wasn’t. He wasn’t mad, and he didn’t want Basil to beat himself up more. Sunny stayed silent with a neutral expression on his face as he racked his brain around what the hell he was supposed to even say.

After a minute of no reply from Sunny, Basil felt like he should drop it and move on to something else. But his gut told him that he HAD to know. He was the one that did it and he had to know how bad it was so he could try to start making up for it.

“Can I see?” Basil blurted out, eyes widening at his own words when he realized what he had asked of Sunny. “I’m sorry, that’s not okay. You don’t have to.” Basil tried to correct himself, Sunny suddenly reaching out to grab Basil’s shaky hand into his own.

“You can see.” Sunny told him, slowly reaching his other hand up to his face. “It’s gross though.” He warned Basil, fingers grabbing onto the eye patch.

“I bet it’s not gross,” Basil tried to reassure him, focusing his eyes on the eye patch over his friends face.

Sunny gave a half smile and pulled the material off of his eye, revealing a gauze pad over it. Sunny touched the area, feeling for the gauze and slowly lifting it up to reveal his eye.

Rather, his lack of eye.

Sunny felt so vulnerable sitting in front of someone and showing them this personal part of himself. He had been so upset before about losing his eye as it was a constant reminder that life would never be the same. But he was accepting that now. He was glad Basil is the first to see him like this.

Basil’s breath caught in his lungs and he felt like he couldn’t move, seeing the open socket where Sunny’s eye once was, a series of scars littered around where his eye was all the way up towards his eyebrow. Basil felt like he was going to throw up. He couldn’t believe he was the one who had done this to him. He wanted to scream an apology to him. He wanted to cry and hold him and he wished he could give him one of his own eyes because Sunny had never asked for this to happen. Sunny came to SAVE HIM and he hurt him. Basil felt his esophagus burning with bile and he swallowed, trying desperately to hold his vomit back. He hoped to God his body wouldn’t fail him because that would be awful if he threw up right after Sunny trusted him enough to show him this.

“It’s not gross, Sunny.” Basil whispered out, trying his best to calm down. He knew he needed to be strong right now. This was about Sunny, NOT about himself. And it genuinely wasn’t gross, Basil was just horrified that that had happened to him. Basil felt his eyes stinging and he felt the tears start pouring out again. “Sunny, there is no way you can forgive me.” Basil spoke, feeling disgusted with himself.

‘Don’t believe him. He did it on purpose because you killed her. He had to help you cover it up and he hated you for it. He still does’ Sunny heard the voice in his head growl. He flinched for a moment before shaking the thought out of his head. He didn’t want to be angry and he knew that that wasn’t true. Basil was the only person who could ever understand Sunny and he didn’t want to take that for granted again.

“Seriously, shut up with that shit.” Sunny argued, snapping not only at Basil but at the horrible voice in the back of his head. He just wanted everything to be okay and he just wanted the voice in his head to shut the fuck up. He wanted everything to feel normal and he didn’t want to hear any apologies from Basil or from anyone really. Sunny knew that he was just as guilty as Basil.

Basil nodded in defeat, still looking over Sunny’s hurt face. “Does it hurt?” Basil asked timidly, fingers gently grazing against Sunny’s cheek. Sunny slowly shook his head, a tiny sad smile on his face.

“No. Not anymore, anyway.” Sunny told him, his injured eye twitching slightly as he blinked his other. It really didn’t hurt at all now. “It was removed pretty much as soon as I got to the hospital, and after it was taken out the only part that hurt was where i had stitches.” Sunny explained, pointing at the new scar he had through his eyebrow. Basil listened to his words, amazed by how calmly Sunny could talk about this. The guilt was still eating at him as he listened.

“Do you have to wear the eye patch forever?” Basil asked, nervous to hear that this would be forever. Sunny gave him another small smile and shook his head with a little more energy.

“Nope. A few more months then I can maybe get a prosthetic, then it’ll be like nothing happened.” Sunny hoped that would make Basil feel better, and it did to an extent.

“Do you WANT a prosthetic?” Basil followed up, finally taking his hand away from Sunny’s cheek and letting it fall down into his lap, anxious that he was freaking Sunny how by staying so close to him. “You, um, look good without one too.” Basil told him softly, offering a sweet smile. “Really good, actually.”

Those words meant more to Sunny than anyone could know. He had spent countless hours staring at himself in the mirror, unable to stand how ugly he thought he was. He felt disgusting, like no one else in the world would ever accept him with all those scars on his face while he is missing his eye. But Basil making a point to tell him how handsome he was truly did make him feel good.

Sunny let out a chuckle and looked down as he felt something wet fall in his hand. He only then realized the tears that began streaming down his cheeks and down onto his lap. He hadn’t cried in so long and he felt like he needed this.

Basil quickly pulled him in again and brought a hand up to stroke his hair and let him cry it out. “Shhh…Sunny it’s okay…” He whispered, holding him tightly. “You’re so beautiful to me.”

Chapter Text

Kel rushed back to his home as fast as his legs could carry him, pushing the door open only to hear his parents talking very quietly in the dining room. Other than that, the house was completely silent. He had really assumed the worst after getting the call from his broken sounding older brother and he honestly felt relieved to not hear the angry screams of his brother through the house. He truly expected to hear the sound of things hitting the wall coming from upstairs and arguing between their parents about how to handle Hero and his freak outs.

Kel walked cautiously into the dining room where is parents were seated, quietly discussing something that seemed important. But the moment his parents heard their youngest son enter the room, they fell completely silent for a moment. “Where is Hero?” Kel nervously questioned after a moment, unsure how to feel about the quiet. It was just uncanny.

Their home was NEVER quiet. Between two competitive brothers and a toddler, it was extremely hard for the home to be calm let alone SILENT. His mother at the very least had a novella playing on the tv. There was a thick cloud of tension lingering through the entire house.

“He came home about an hour ago and just ran upstairs and shut himself in. We tried to check on him but he wouldn’t open the door” Kel’s mom sighed out. She was exhausted and Kel could see that obviously. They all were.

“He went on a date earlier, do you think it went bad?” Kel frowned, unsure what could have happened that caused Hero to be so upset. Was she mean? Did she not care about Hero’s stories? A frown took over Kel’s face at the thought that maybe she stood him up? That had to be it. Poor Hero.

“I really have no idea.” His mother huffed out, trying to not be annoyed by her sons actions. She knew he was having an impossibility hard time, but she felt like Hero didn’t do enough to try to cheer himself up. She felt like he just sat home and moped around, and she had no idea just how difficult it was to get through what Hero was trying to go through. She was so happy to hear he was going on a date with a new girl, but seeing how he was acting now made her feel helpless that he would ever get back to his old self.

Kel took a step back and turned to leave the room with a nod. “I’m going to go check on him.” He told them, jogging up the stairs to his bedroom door. He immediately noticed the loud silence when he got outside the bedroom door. No music played, no sound of the TV on from inside the room. Kel couldn’t even hear and shuffling like Hero was even in there. He tried to knob and realized immediately that it was locked.

“Hero, let me in,” Kel tried, wiggling the door knob. He waited a moment, hoping Hero was coming to the door. Silence. Kel sighed loudly, beginning to knock on the door.

“Heroooo it’s my room, you have to let me in!” Kel tried again, confused why Hero would lock himself in while being just so silent. Was he sleeping?

Kel started to knock harder, hoping to wake Hero up from whatever sleep he had cried himself into. After two minutes of banging on the door, and getting no response he was about to give up and wait for Hero to wake up and let him in. But as he turned to walk back down the stairs he heard a strange rattling sound. Kel froze in his place and began listening carefully, suddenly hearing a gasp and sob. Another rattle, another heavy breath. Kel’s eyes suddenly widened as his brain put together what was going on. He didn’t want to believe that that was the case and he started more frantically hitting the door.

“Hero this isn’t funny. I need you to open up the door.” Kel demanded, now hearing a louder sob escape from his brother. It was as if he was holding it together until he heard Kel’s voice.

Hero was now loudly sobbing and Kel could hear the sound of pills rolling around in a plastic bottle. He couldn’t fucking believe this.

“Hero!!” Kel shouted, banging on the door again, finally throwing himself at the door in an attempt to break it open. “HERO! Open the fucking door!” He yelled, in this moment not caring about his mother downstairs hearing his language. Usually his mother wouldn’t hesitate to hit him if she were to hear something like that come from her teenage sons mouth, but this time she just ran up the stairs and watched and Kel alone tried to bust the door open.

She was too confused and scared to speak or to move. It was like she had shut down. Kel hated that his mother did this. Every time Hero had an emergency, his parents just stood there and just fucking watched and let it happen as Kel tried his best to fix it. Kel looked back to his father, eyes begging for help getting the door open.

His dad immediately ran to find a screw driver to take the lock off of the door. Kel grumbled curses at his father for not caring enough to help him force the door open.

“Hero, you son of a bitch, LET ME IN!” Kel cried, throwing himself at the door one more time before it flew open, the wood of the door frame now cracked. Kel looked up to see Hero balled up on the floor, fist gripping an open bottle of his anxiety pills. The older teen didn’t look up, silently sobbing to himself and whispering apologies.

Kel, without a second thought, ran over to his brother and slapped the hand that was holding the bottle, causing the pills to go all over the floor yet Hero still kept a death grip on the bottle.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Kel screamed, standing above his brother before dropping to his knees in front of him. “Why would you want to do this to me?!” Kel sobbed, tears suddenly pouring down his cheeks. Kel grabbed the older boys shoulders and shook him roughly. “Look at me!!” Kel begged. Hero just let his head down and kept repeating his apologies.

Kel turned towards the door where his mother stood, just watching with a worried expression. “Please call someone, mom! Don’t just stand there!” He growled at her, unable to believe that his mother was still standing to the side and doing nothing to help. When he saw her nod and take out her cellphone, Kel turned back to Hero and breathed out a frantic sigh. “Did you take any, Hero?” Kel asked sternly, seeing his brother sloppily shake his head.

“She was so beautiful, Kel,” Hero choked out, finally looking up at him. Kel frowned at the words, trying to make sense of what was going on.

“Is this about your date today? I- I don’t understand!” Kel cried back to him, lowering his voice from the screams he was throwing our previously. Hero shrugged his shoulders, burying his face into his hands.

“She plays piano,” Hero tried to explain between pained gasps for air. “She told me that every Sunday, EVERY Sunday, she bakes cookies for her family to eat after dinner. She has a brother a couple years younger than you who was waiting outside with her when I picked her up.”

Kel felt his bottom lip tremble as he listened, understanding why Hero was so upset. Of course the first girl he asks out since Mari was an exact replica of her. The universe was cruel and unforgiving, it wasn’t fair that Hero had to be thrown back into dating that way.

“And she was so fucking beautiful.” Hero whispered, barely making a sound. “But she will never be Mari. No matter how badly I want her to be. Her playing with never sound as good and her cookies will never be as perfect and her brother isn’t Sunny. She isn’t my Mari” Hero sobbed out, finally chucking the now empty pill bottle across the room.

Kel pulled his brother in for a tight embrace, petting his hair gently in an attempt to sooth him.

“She will never be Mari. But she is Jessica.” Kel told him so softly, remembering the name his brother told him all about earlier that morning. He had been so excited to see her and to take her to the park where they all used to hang out. He was so excited to show her his favorite place.

“You can’t do this to me, Hero.” Kel’s voice shook desperately. He heard the ambulance sirens pulling up outside and he took a deep breath.

“I just want to be with her again, you don’t understand. You’ll never understand how I feel. You’re just a stupid kid.” Hero spat, pulling away from Kel’s hug to grab at his own hair and anxiously pull at it. Kel just sat there, eyes wide at Hero’s comment. He knew his brother couldn’t really mean that. They had all lost someone extremely important to them when Mari passed away.

“Why would you want to make me hurt the way you do?” Kel tried to reverse it. He knew that that was unfair and was probably hurtful but he was desperate for Hero to realize how fucking UNFAIR it was to try to put their family through this again. Mari was family and it destroyed everyone when she left. How could Hero do that?

Before Hero could figure out a response, the paramedics were rushing up the stairs. Kel slowly stood up to give them better access to his brother and he watched as they helped him up and started walking him down the stairs towards the ambulance.

———

Kel sat alone in the waiting room of the hospital, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. It’s been hours since Kel’s parents went back to the room with Hero and he hadn’t gotten much of an update yet. He felt so mentally drained by todays events and he just wanted to go sleep in his bed. At the very least, he wanted to take a break from the hospital for a bit. He needed to go somewhere. He took out his phone and sent his mom a quick text letting her know he was going for a walk around the block.

Kel stepped outside and let the warm summer air kiss his skin before starting to wander around looking for somewhere to sit. He passed by several benches, but every time he came to one, he felt like he needed to keep walking. He stopped thinking about where he was going after a while and just wandered while thinking about life. And Hero. And how the poor girl Hero took on a date today, Jessica, probably had no idea about the break down Hero was having. Kel wondered if Hero had even told her about Mari.

He realized that telling a potential new girlfriend about Mari could definitely be a lot easier said than done, and he wondered now if he truly was just childish and couldn’t understand how Hero felt. Maybe all of this was easier said than done…maybe Kel wasn’t being completely fair to his brother…

After 30 minutes of seemingly aimless wandering, Kel looked up and his stomach tied itself in knots when he recognized where he was standing. How did he even end up here? It was like the time flew by and he just followed wherever his feet would take him. He had no idea why he came here. But here he was.

Right in front of Aubrey’s house.

Chapter Text

Kel stood frozen outside Aubrey’s parents home for what felt like hours. He knew he needed to see her, but was now even a good time? When Kel was having an emergency? He wondered if that would put too much stress on her and upset her. That was the last thing in the world he wanted to do to her. But deep down in his guts he knew that she was the one that would make him feel better. Even if all she did was pick on him and call him names, he was sure he would feel better.

There was always something so comforting about Aubrey to Kel. Her voice was so gentle and sweet, which clashed with her tough, rebellious exterior. Kel knew that deep down under her hard façade, she was such a softie. A small grin formed on Kel’s lips as he recalled a very specific memory of himself hiding Aubrey’s stuffed toys from her when they were kids just so she would cry and beg for him to give it back. He felt bad for being so mean to her, but he swears she deserved it at the time! She would steal his favorite markers from his pencil box and would make him chase her down across school for them. Then when he would finally catch her she would yell about how annoying HE was.

Kel wasn’t sure when their playful banter actually turned sour. At some point after Mari died, for sure. Kel remembered the first time he really realized that something had changed. They had all started going back to school again not long after Mari passed and Kel stood by his locker with a few friends from his basketball team when he saw Aubrey walking closer their way. Pretty Aubrey with her long black hair. Kel watched as she walked closer with a few kids he had never seen before. They looked younger than them, maybe the grade below? When Aubrey came close enough, Kel couldn’t help the smirk that formed on his lips as he suddenly kicked his leg out in front of the shorter girl he had a long history of playfully picking on. Her eyes widened as she tripped and fell hard to the ground, her friends immediately running to her side. Kel started laughing with his friends, familiar with the Aubrey that would have jumped up and started hitting him while telling him what an idiot he is. Instead she looked up to him with the most hate filled look Kel had ever seen. She looked like she despised him. Like the sight of him made her sick. He never would have thought Aubrey would look at him that way. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Kel could remember her words like they were just hissed at him yesterday. It hurt so bad, he was so confused. He just wanted everything NORMAL again. “Just leave me alone.”

In hindsight, Kel knew he shouldn’t have picked on her so soon after everything. He should have been there for her. From then on, she ignored him every other time he tried to talk to her, and it hurt like hell. He remembered at one of his basketball games, her and her friends showed up just to boo him. Kel had been so hurt, but he also remembered being grateful for any attention from her. He told himself that this was just normal Aubrey.

That was until he caught on to how she was treating Basil. Any time she crossed his path she and her friends would jump him. Seriously, they were brutal. Eventually Kel started minding his own business and tried to stay away from her completely, not wanting to deal with Aubrey’s wrath anymore. But he missed her constantly.

Another memory came to his mind of when after a run one night, he saw her out by the playground all alone. It was nearly midnight and her bright pink hair cascaded down her shoulders and her back. The moon hit her perfectly and he stopped in his tracks just to take in her beauty. How could one person be so perfect? He could hear the sound of her humming whatever song was playing through her earbuds as she sat on the swing, kicking her legs back and forth to go higher and higher.

Kel wished he could stay there forever.

The day after that he had slipped a note into her locker that had just a small drawing of her scribbled on it. It was nothing good, Kel was no artist, but he wanted to appreciate how effortlessly pretty she was.

He watched from afar as she opened her locker and saw the note fall to the ground in front of her. He watched carefully as she picked it up and he saw her pale face suddenly burn with embarrassment. Kel could tell she was pissed even before she crumpled it up and tossed it to the ground again. Kel felt his heart break.

But here he was now, standing outside her house. The last time he saw her he was closer to her than he had been in years and he longed to be there for her that way again. Surely he couldn’t just knock on her front door and ask her to come talk to him, could he? Before he could even get the thought out, he was directly in front of the door, ready to knock.

His stomach felt sick, unsure if he could handle Aubrey’s rejection right now. But if there was even a slight chance of her hearing him out, he had to try.

His knuckles gently rapped at the door, hoping she was home. He knew her parents weren’t the kindest and he really didn’t want to have to speak to them.

No one came to the door right away and he reached up to try the door bell. Still, no one came. Kel waited a few more moments before he felt his heart sink just as it did when he felt her crumple up his drawing. She was all he wanted in the world and he was realizing he couldn’t just show up and take her. He realized then that he should probably start making his way back to the hospital then.

He waited one more moment for her before stepping down off the porch and beginning to walk off. He got to the mail box by the sidewalk when he heard the soft voice he had longed to hear.

“Kel…? What are you-“ She appeared out of seemingly no where and asked quietly like she didn’t want anyone to hear. “What are you doing here?” She asked from half behind the door.

Kel turned around quickly and his heart felt full again. She was here. And she wasn’t shouting curses at him. She was perfect.

“Aubrey-!” He exclaimed, unable to hide how relieved he was to see her. He quickly walked back up to her porch, tucking his hands into the pockets of his sweat pants. He realized now how bad he looked, and he wished he had taken the time to get properly dressed that morning before he went to see Sunny. Of course he had no idea how chaotic the rest of his day would be when he got up that morning. “I-“ He started, unsure what he was supposed to say to that. “I don’t know…” He answered truthfully. He just felt like he needed to be here. “You’re the only person in the world I want to see right now.” He confessed. He looked at her with his pained, puppy dog eyes.

Aubrey quietly closed the front door and took a step closer. She could see something was extremely wrong with him. She couldn’t remember ever seeing Kel so…sad. He was ALWAYS carefree and reckless and rowdy and…he was always so happy. He was the one who always kept everyone laughing! He was the one who never took anything seriously. Why did he look so unhappy now? “What’s wrong?” She asked him, having a million more questions she felt like she needed answers to.

“Nothing, i’m good.” Kel gave her a sweet grin. “Are you able to come on a walk with me?” He asked her hopefully. Aubrey looked at him skeptically. She was nervous about her parents finding out about her sneaking out. After a moment of hesitation, she gave in and nodded at him in agreement. “You’re really lucky you didn’t wake my parents up by ringing the door bell like that. Or we would both be in deep shit.” She chuckled, opening up the front door slightly to grab her sneakers from the shoe rack by the front door.

She sat down on the front porch steps to slide on her shoes before reaching her hand out for Kel to pull her up to her feet. He immediately did so, her hands feeling so warm in his clammy anxious ones. He immediately realized how gross that had to feel for her and he pulled his hand back once she was on her feet and wiped his palms against his shirt. “Sorry.” He nervously chuckled. She laughed it off with him and they set off walking down the road. It was silent for a few minutes before Aubrey couldn’t take it anymore.

“I feel like you didn’t come to my house just to ask me to walk next to you.” She spoke, expecting at least some type of explanation. But Kel just shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve wanted to come talk to you every day since I walked you home before” He admitted, looking over and smiling sadly at her.

It was insane how much taller than her he was now. He had to be nearly a foot taller now. He remembered once upon a time Aubrey was an inch taller than him and she wouldn’t let him live it down. He wanted to make a joke about it, but he had already learned his lesson about rushing things with her.

“Well…why haven’t you?” She questioned, looking up at him with wide, curious eyes. Kel wished he had a good answer besides Hero took up most of his free time and when he wasn’t babysitting his older brother he was laying in bed wishing an asteroid would smash down into his house and end his suffering. That seemed like too much information for right now.

“My mom has been pressuring me about getting sports scholarship so I can get into a good college,” he lied. He immediately cringed at how stupid of a lie that was but he felt like it was too late. “I spend all my free time practicing.” He spoke, sounding pretty believable. Aubrey nodded at his words, accepting that answer.

“I guess you’re only just now able to squeeze me into your schedule?” She laughed, the backs of their hands delicately bumping into each other every few steps.

“Listen,” He grinned at her words. “I’ve been trying! You’re pretty intimidating too, you know.” He teased her, a true smile building on his face for the first time in ages.

Aubrey faked a gasp at him. “Me?!” She dramatically asked. “Intimidating?! Well I never!” She played with him, them both cracking up into laughter. He was so thankful for Aubrey being here and being herself. Her REAL self.

Kel wasn’t really sure what else to say to her. But he was happy to be there with her. “I need to be honest about something,” she started, sounding more serious before looking up at him and cracking into a smile. “You honestly look like shit. Like you haven’t slept in weeks. You’ve gotta tell me what was bad enough that it had you coming to me,” She teased, really wanting to find out what was wrong.

Kel sighed quietly, realizing there was no getting out of this. “It’s a lot.” He hoped that would deter her from pushing. He wasn’t sure that talking about it would help any.

“I have time,” She urged, letting her little finger gently wrap around Kel’s as they walked next to each other. Kel felt electricity run up his arm and his heart fluttered. God, what was WRONG with him?

Kel thought for a moment before finally giving in. “Hero is in the hospital,” He began, not feeling comfortable telling her about Basil and Sunny yet. He was scared of losing this sense of security he currently had with her.

He knew that that was probably unfair, he felt like maybe he was using her to feel better. But he thought about her on his good days too. Whenever something great happens, she is who he wants to call.

“Oh- God, is he okay?” She asked, worry filling her voice. She had no idea what could have happened, how would Hero get hurt? She knew he wasn’t really a risk taker and there was no one who would want to fight him.

“I…” He began, trying to find the words to describe what in the fuck happened today. “I found him… with a bottle of pills today.” Kel admitted, looking away from her. He was embarrassed to talk about it, knowing it was a very sore subject in their friend group.

Aubrey stopped walking immediately and just looked up at Kel, mouth ajar as she searched her brain for the right thing to say. “Kel I am so sorry,” She said, her heart hurting at the words. “Did…you know…” She trailed off, hoping Kel would catch her drift and she wouldn’t have to say it.

“No, he’s okay,” Kel quickly answered. “Im pretty sure he didn’t actually take any before I got there. He is getting checked out just in case he was lying though.” Kel explained.

“He is really lucky to have you,” Aubrey said gently, feeling horrible that Kel had to go through this. He didn’t deserve this.

“Nah, I’m just me. He’s lucky for the paramedics getting there so quick.” Kel tried to joke with her to lighten the weight of the information. Aubrey didn’t laugh with him.

“Stop trying to make this not serious, Kel,” She spoke seriously. She wondered if every joke and every smile from Kel was really hiding his true emotions. She always thought he just wasn’t so hurt about Mari passing as everyone else. Like he just didn’t care or wasn’t bothered by anything enough to take it seriously. But here he was, trying to joke about Hero being in the hospital. “You don’t always have to be laughing. You can be vulnerable.” She told him, hoping he would listen to her. He can’t be doing well if he just shoves all his feelings down deep.

After a few seconds of considering her words, he agreed she was right. “This month has been really…REALLY hard.” He finally admitted. It was like a weight was slowly being lifted from his shoulders. But at the same time, that made him uncomfortable. He felt out of his comfort zone. “I’m sure it has been for you too though,” He immediately tried to correct. “Are you doing okay?” He asked her, finally lacing their fingers together completely.

He saw the park up ahead of them and let her through the gates and towards the swings. He was happy to get to be there with her now at at least.

“I’m okay.” She nodded. “It was really bad at first. I still don’t know if i’ve fully processed everything but…i’m doing okay” She spoke truthfully. She had her bad days, but ultimately she was okay. “Tell me why it’s been so tough for you.” She insisted, taking a seat at a swing as they approached it.

Kel knew he couldn’t just not tell her after she came all the way out here with him. “Hero isn’t taking the news well.” He admitted, feeling bad to be talking about his brothers struggles like this. “Going from thinking he had done something wrong to lose her and finding out what really happened calls for grieving all over again. And it’s killing me,” Kel breathed out heavily. “How am I supposed to grieve when he needs constant attention?” He rhetorically asked. “He’s doing really bad and I thought things were getting better until today” Kel chewed on the inside of his cheek. He felt like he had said enough. “I just….want to have everything normal. Even for just one more day. I just need one more day to say good bye to it,” he looked down to the ground before sitting in the swing next to her.

“We can find a new normal,” Aubrey tried, hoping that he would buy it. “A happy new normal.”

Kel gave her a half smile and nodded. “One day, hopefully.” He sighed. They sat in silence for a while before Kel collected his thoughts and remembered something he had been wanting to say for a while. “I’m sorry i hadn’t been there for you more.” He finally said.

She shook her heads at his words, wanting him to shut up about that. “Don’t apologize, stupid,” she teased. “I needed to realize that everyone else was hurting too. I was being selfish. It felt like…” She thought carefully about her words. “Like I was the only one that cared” She admitted. “You still joked around and acted like she wasn’t gone. Sunny just stopped coming to school. Basil crossed her out of all the photos… It was like I was the only one hurting. I know now we were all just coping differently…” She rambled to him, hoping her would take that as her apology. She could never actually apologize, she just had way too much pride.

“Things really were strange after Mari left…” He trailed off. He smiled at the memory he had recalled earlier that night. “Do you remember when you came to my game just to boo me?” He suddenly asked her, knowing it was unrelated to anything but he always wanted to talk to her about it.

If it weren’t for them sitting in the dark, Kel would absolutely be able to see how bright red her whole face was. She immediately hid her face in her hands and shook her head. “Oh my god! You heard us?” She whined.

Kel gave her a playfully shocked face. “What?! Of course I heard! Everyone did!” He laughed at her. Why was she surprised by that?

“Kim started it. I didn’t even want to be there…” She tried to explain. “She knew I was mad at you and just wanted me to feel better”

“What did i do?” Kel put on a dramatic fake frown, sure he hadn’t done anything bad enough for her to embarrass him in front of everyone.

“I was just mad. And I wanted a reason to see you”

“Well there are easier and nicer ways to get my attention, you know…” He spoke softly, trailing off his sentence. He hadn’t realized just how close they were sitting to each other until now. How easy it would be to just…lean in…

Before he could act on his thoughts, his phone breaks out in a loud ring, shocking Kel out of his train of thought. He let out the breath he was holding and immediately pulls his phone out, seeing the time was already 1am.

“Hey mom,” He said gently into the phone after answering. She explained that Hero was being admitted to a facility for the next three days so they can keep an eye on him but that he seems to be in a much better state. Kel breathed out a relieved sigh and told his mom he would start heading back there.

The couple stood up and slowly started walking back to Audrey’s house, holding hands the whole way back. When they finally got to her door, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her. But he couldn’t bring himself to. Instead he just let go of her hand and gave her the most heartfelt smile he could muster. “I’ll talk to you later.” He promised.

“I’ll be waiting”

Chapter Text

The next morning Kel awoke still in the same hospital waiting room he fell asleep in, feeing crabby that he hadn’t been magically moved to his bed at home in the night. His back was sore and he had a terrible headache and he was honestly in a piss poor mood. Well, that was until he had remembered the night before. With Aubrey.

A dazed smile briefly took over his face as he remembered the walk home with her. How small her hand felt in his and the way she so quietly told him she would be waiting to hear from him. He felt like everything was just right because he knew Aubrey wanted to see him. All until he looked around and remembered he was in a hospital waiting room because his brother had just had a mental health crisis. Smile gone. Headache back.

Kel didn’t see his parents anywhere near him, assuming they were back in his brothers room before he picked up his phone to check the time. He had a few texts from his mom saying they were at the cafeteria picking up some food and that Hero was being transferred to an actual mental health site. Kel groaned a bit, nervous that that meant he was worse. But the fact that his parents didn’t seem worried calmed him.

He wished he could go see his brother, but there was a strict no visitors rule for the next 24 hours so he would have to wait a bit longer. He wished he could even just call him. He honestly wished he could do anything besides just sit there in that lobby waiting. Eventually Kel’s parents came back with some food and they decided to head back home until they can come see Hero.

———

Kel’s bedroom felt so empty without Hero. He felt guilty now for spending weeks wishing Hero could just go become someone else’s problem. He wanted Hero to get the help he needed, but the realization that he could have easily lost his brother made his chest hurt. And on top of that, school was starting up again next week and Hero was supposed to be going back to his university. What the hell was going to happen now? Was Kel supposed to be able to study and go to basketball practice and not worry about Hero being okay so far away at university? The thought was ridiculous to him.

Kel buried his face into his pillow, groaning loudly. He was so stressed. He wished he hadn’t picked yesterday to reunite with everyone that used to be in his life and now he felt like he needed to reach back out to Basil and Sunny. He did want to talk to them, of course he did! But the idea of putting on that mask felt too exhausting today. Today, he wanted to rest.

He also wanted to see Aubrey but he wanted to make a specific point to not just call her and see her when he was upset. He didn’t want to use her as a crutch to fix him when he felt broken. So there he was, laying face down on his bed and hoping he would just fall asleep and sleep the whole day away.

Just as he was nearly asleep, his phone starts vibrating, indicating he had an incoming call. Kel huffed and rolled over to check who it was, seeing a photo of Basil on the screen. He was suddenly petrified that something was wrong over there and that Sunny was in trouble.

“Hey Basil,” Kel breathed out quickly before composing himself. “What’s going on, are you guys okay?” He asked, trying to cut to the chase in an attempt to get rid of the pit in his stomach.

“We were worried about you after last night,” Basil spoke into the phone timidly. He was so nervous talking to Kel, but he knew Sunny was even more anxious to talk to him over the phone. He knew Sunny had a hard time finding the right words to convey his thoughts. Basil wanted to be strong for him.

Kel really did appreciate that they were thinking of him. Looking back, it had to be kind of scary for them to see Kel leave in such a hurry without any explanation. “Oh, yeah.” Kel nervously chuckled out. “My brother just had something come up.” He told them, trying to stay as vague as possible. He felt like the combination of talking about Hero and talking about his almost suicide attempt would be way too triggering for the boys to have to listen to. He couldn’t do that to his friends. It was Kel’s job to protect them. “Everything is good now though!”

Basil let out a sigh of relief he had clearly been holding in. “Okay, good. Do you, um, maybe want to…hang out with us today?” He stuttered out, embarrassed by how his sentence came out. He was trying to hard to be confident.

Kel was about to blindly agree to see them, thinking that maybe that could actually help him get his mind off everything. His eyes lit up as an idea came to mind.

“Can I bring Aubrey?” Kel suddenly asked the others. Kel was getting really happy at that thought. “It’ll be just like before! Come on!” Kel urged, actually getting really excited.

He could hear basil whispering to Sunny but he couldn’t make out what exactly they were saying to each other. “Are you sure she wants to see us?“ Basil wasn’t sure how well that would go. He was honesty terrified of Aubrey and would like to never be around her again if possible, but part of him knew how Sunny had always felt about her. He knew she was important to him and if she made him feel better, he would do his best to make that happen.

Basil saw how Sunny’s eyes lit up for a moment at the simple mention of Aubrey. He whispered quietly to him asking if he wanted her to come over with Kel and that’s when the hesitation came over the dark haired 16 year old. He was scared of her being mad at him still. He missed her a lot but he was also so scared of her hurting him.

“I mean… I would have to ask her but i really think it’ll be okay guys.” Kel told them, hoping they would agree. Basil finally agreed when he saw Sunny give a thumbs up that he would be willing to try.

They decided to hang out that evening and Kel started to feel better again. His friends all back together. Well, almost. But this was a great start!

Except for the fact that now he had to tell Aubrey about his rekindled relationship with them. That realization slapped him hard across the face and he chewed on his bottom lip trying to decide if that was a good idea. Would it hurt her? Would she hate Kel for forgiving them?

He cautiously dialed Aubrey’s number despite his previous wishes to just leave her alone until he was done being a depressed mess and held the phone to his ear, hoping Aubrey would pick up. It only took a few rings before her sugar sweet voice filled his ears and his mind.

“Took you long enough,” She playfully grumbled into the phone. “How is Hero?” She asked straight away, genuinely worried about her friend. “And how do you feel?”

“I’m not sure, he is still there and I can’t see him until tomorrow.” Kel explained, pulling his blanket over his shoulders and getting cozy in his bed. The fact that she not only asked about Hero but also about himself gave him butterflies in his stomach. He wasn’t used to feeling cared about, usually he was hiding in the shadow of his oldest sibling. His mind wandered, finally wondering where she was right now. Was she laid curled up in bed too? Maybe she was with her parents? He hoped he wasn’t interrupting anything.

“Well tell me before you go, I want to see him too.” She told him seriously, desperately wanting to be there for him. But that only made Kel feel guiltier. He wished he did this for her when she was depressed over Mari. It was still jarring how Aubrey went from hating Kel’s guts to checking in on how he is feeling. Part of it felt unreal, like it’s all a prank and she will laugh and call him an idiot and leave again.

“I will.” He promised. Disregarding his anxieties, he knew Hero would love to see her. He had asked about Aubrey multiple times but Kel had been too scared to reach out to her. The idea of surprising him with ty a visit from her made Kel feel good. “Hey, actually, do you want to come over?” He asked, trying to act as if he wasn’t mentally preparing to tell her what he felt was a huge secret and his ‘New’ friends. “Like, right now?”

Aubrey didn’t reply for a second and Kel got a bit nervous. “So i’m at a friends house right now… give me 20 minutes?” She tried to offer, Kel hearing her friends groaning in disapproval at her words. ‘That’s so lame Aubrey’ Kel heard a guy say. Kel frowned at the sound. He wasn’t jealous of her being at a guys house or anything, but he was confused about who it could be. SHOULD he be jealous? No…no of course not. She was leaving to come see him anyway! And they weren’t even dating, she can go see whoever she wants!

“You, uh, don’t have to you know. Like if you’re busy.” He bit his lip hard, unsure what he was going to do if she cancelled.

“Shut up, Kelsey. I’m coming over whether you like it or not.” She teased. Kel gasped at the use of his birth name. “Oh that’s it, you’re dead when you get here.” He released a laughed, hearing her snickering with her friends through the phone.

“Alright alright, it’s a date.” He said gently, testing the waters to see her reaction.

“Mmmm….I guess it is.” Kel could hear her smile in her voice. “See ya soon, dweeb.” She spoke all with a smile on her face before hanging up the phone.

Kel laid there grinning to himself like an idiot. He really hoped he wouldn’t lose all this when she found out who he had reunited with.

30 minutes pass before he finally heard the door bell chime. In those 30 minutes he only managed to change into a different pair of sweat pants and to lather deodorant under his arms. He had tried on several different shirts, not feeling like any of them looked right. He did look through his clothes, trying his best to pick something nice, but all he really wanted was to lay in bed until he had to get up to see Sunny and Basil.

Kel walked shirtless down the stairs, starting to throw a baggy hoodie over his head. He grabbed the door and swung it open while just pulling the hoodie over his muscular torso. For anyone else, it would have seemed painfully obvious that the man was trying to show off to her. But Kel didn’t think anything of it. He truly had just been too lazy to put a shirt on before she got there and he wasn’t trying to show anything off. If anything, he would have been mortified if he knew how it looked.

Aubrey simply rolled her eyes and walked inside the house behind him. She honesty didn’t have much of a memory of Kel’s home. When they were growing up, they all just went to Sunny or Basils house. She had only really been here a couple times. She smiled at the decor while taking a look around, seeing pictures of a baby all over the place. “Who is that?” Aubrey asked, not caring how nosey she may have seemed.

“Sally.” Kel said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He was sure she had to know about Sally. But judging by the 17 year old girls face, she had no idea. Did she really never come up? “My baby sister” He explained, glancing over the picture that caught Aubrey’s attention. “That’s me and Hero at Sally’s first birthday party.” He beamed at the picture. Aubrey looked shocked, looking back to the photo.

“Wait you have a sister?” She asked, wondering how big of an idiot she was for not knowing that.

“Oh! Look at this one!” He spoke excitedly, running across the room to point out his favorite one. He was sitting on the living room floor with a small newborn baby in his arms. Aubrey cooed at the picture, thinking it was really sweet. She couldn’t believe she had no idea Kel wasn’t the youngest sibling anymore. “I had dropped and shattered three dinner plates the week she was born so mom made me sit down to hold her.” He tried to hold back his laugh, but the moments Aubrey bursted out in laughter Kel had to let go too.

“Well have you dropped her?!” She asked through her loud laughs. Kel’s funny grin grew into proud expression.

“Not a single time.” He boasted. Aubrey was surprised and proud of him as well.

“What a great big brother,” She chuckled out. “You’ll be just as good as Hero. Maybe even better.” She told him, looking up at his face. She couldn’t quite read his expression. He was smiling, but his eyebrows were furrowed as if he was thinking hard about her statement. The statement felt so out of character for the Aubrey he remembered, but it felt so much more mature and grown up. She was more grown up. He liked this Aubrey.

“Do you really think so?” He asked, not sounding very sure of himself. “I don’t want to let her down.” He told the pink haired girl, anxiety dripping from his voice. “Hero is so smart and organized and I feel like growing up he always knew what to do. And I feel like I have no clue what is going on EVER. How can I be a good brother if i forget…like… when her basketball games are! And-and I miss them?” He rambled out his worries to her.

“You’ll remember Kel. You don’t give yourself enough credit.” She frowned at him.
“Hero is super smart, yes. And he’s a great cook. And he’s incredibly charming, i guess. And he-“

“I get it.” Kel interrupted, not wanting to listen to how much better Hero was than him. Kel already knew that, he heard it every day of his life. Why was she saying this to him as if it would help?

“My point is, you’re you. You’re the one who can teach her to play basketball and you’re the one that will help shape her sense of humor. When she has a bad day, you’re going to be the one she feels like she can go to.” Aubrey grabbed Kel’s hand confidently. Kel smiled softly at her, squeezing her hand back. “I can already see you being the fun brother that spoils her like crazy” She spoke like she was sure of it.

Kel really did hope so. He wanted to complain about how he missed her first steps and to tell her about how scared he was to miss all her other firsts. He wanted to be there for everything.

“Can i meet her?” Aubrey asked gently. She usually didn’t like kids at all, but this kid was special to someone really special to her, so she wanted to meet her.

Kel grinned brightly and nodded, pulling her by her arm to lead her up the stairs towards his baby sisters nursery. The door was a soft pink color and had a sloppy purple ‘S’ painted on it right in the middle. Kel did his best on it, but he knew it was a mess. Hero insisted on then leaving it that way though.

He pushed open the door, hearing soft lullaby music playing in the room. He knew she was probably asleep, so he decided to just whisper to her.

“Hey Sally… There is someone I want you to meet.”

Chapter Text

Sunny had awoken that next morning on Basil's comfortable sofa, the TV on and playing at a soft volume. The sun was shining through the window, past the blinds and onto the wall on the other side of the room. Sunny looked around the room for a moment, taking in everything around him, eye landing on Basil who was asleep on the floor in front of the couch. He had no pillow and no blanket and was just curled up with his hands around his elbows like he was trying to stay warm. Sunny immediately pushed the blanket off himself and covered up his friend. He was covered in a small but soft looking throw blanket and was using a couch cushion for a pillow. The younger boy felt so bad that Basil was on the floor and that he had such a small blanket. He looked down at the one covering his own body and recognized that it was the one from Basil's room. He frowned and immediately draped it over the sleeping boys body, wanting him to be as comfortable as possible. Sunny watched as the small touch of the blanket stirred Basil awake, eyes fluttering open gracefully.

He was really pretty.

“Mornin’.” Basil spoke with a groggy, tired voice. It was only one word, but Sunny felt like it sounded really natural coming from him. He was happy here.

Sunny smiled warmly at him. “Hey.” He said quietly, enjoying the calm energy in the room. He felt like he could just sit here looking at him forever. Basil looked adorable with his hair all messy and crust in his eyes and dried drool on his cheek. He looked real.

The two spent the rest of the morning taking like they had never fallen asleep. They talked about Basil’s grandma passing after Sunny commented on how quiet it was and Sunny opened up a little about his his dad left, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk about all the dirty details of it. All the painful things his father had said to him before leaving their family home.

The topics got lighter too though, Basil taking Sunny outside to show him the garden he was growing and to show him the small patch of flowers he had kept in a separate area. Lilly of a Valley. Sunny thought they were beautiful.

Basil thought Sunny was.

The two spent the first half of the day just enjoying each other when Basil eventually could tell something was a little off with Sunny.

“Did I do something wrong?” Basil questioned anxiously, unable to take the attitude change anymore. They had been having such a good morning and now Sunny was quiet again, spacey. Like he wanted to be somewhere else.

The question grabbed the black haired boys attention and he looked over, immediately shaking his head. “No, um…” Sunny tried, unsure about talking about his thoughts. “Kel just hasn’t come back.” He explained, fidgeting with his hands.

Basil felt awful for not thinking the same thing. He was just having so much fun with Sunny he hadn’t really thought of anyone else.

“I’m scared something bad happened.” Sunny chewed at his lip.

“Don’t worry, Sunny,” Basil tried to comfort him. “We can-we can call him!” Basil offered, hoping it would cheer Sunny up to talk to Kel and know everything was fine.

Sunny agreed, thankful that Basil had offered and they called, both extremely relieved to hear that Kel was okay. Sunny wondered what happened with Hero that Kel had to run home.

The thought of Hero sent chills down his spine and he tried to shake the name out of his head. Basil saw how uncomfortable his friend looked and felt helpless. He felt like Kel may be the only person able to help with his 'Hero' anxiety.

He didn’t expect the other teen to invite AUBREY though. Why…why would be do that? Basil felt hurt that Kel would want to bring her anywhere near them. Kel knew how bad she treated them BEFORE she knew the truth, now she was definitely going to hurt them. He didn't trust this.

Basil turned to Sunny to read his expression when Aubrey was mentioned, and his eye looked bright. He looked hopeful and like he really wanted to see her. Basil stomach felt like it was in knots. Was he really the only one that was scared of her?

They eventually agreed, making plans to go over to Kel’s house later that day. While Basil spent most of the day trying to figure out how he could get out of seeing Aubrey, he noticed Sunny step into the bathroom multiple times just to look at himself in the mirror, like he was checking how he looked before they went to see them.

Basil couldn’t be mad at Aubrey when she made Sunny this happy.

—————————

There was an hour left until Basil and Sunny were meant to come over, and Kel still hadn’t talked to Aubrey about them yet. He was so nervous for her reaction, he was just putting it off later and later. He was having such a good time with her, laying on top of his bed and listening to music and talking about anything and everything that came to mind. He would hate to lose this.

There was a quiet moment between conversations when Kel knew there was no way around it anymore. They were going to be here soon and he couldn’t let them walk in when Aubrey wasn’t expecting to see them. That would absolutely be worst case scenario.

“I need to tell you something,” He finally got the words out of his throat, rolling from his side facing her to his back, staring up at the ceiling, holding his breath.

Aubrey felt a lump in her throat, feeling like this couldn’t be good. Was Kel already dating someone? And this was all just friendly? She was going to be so pissed if he had just casually left out that he had a girlfriend. She felt like that wouldn't be surprising, Kel was actually really popular at school and a lot of girls liked him. Aubrey wanted to say it was just because he was on the basketball team, but he was extremely friendly to everyone. There wasn't a single person Kel came across that he didn't try to befriend. She knew that lots of girls were head over heels for him because of that and she felt kind of stupid for not assuming he was seeing someone sooner.

“What is it?” She asked, trying to not react before hearing him out, not wanting to give in to her jealousy.

“Promise me you won’t leave?” He asked hopefully, but the question just got further under her skin.

“Leave YOU or leave your house?” She followed up, unsure how she felt about making that promise.

“Um, both…I guess? Is that allowed? Can you just promise to stay here?” He turned his head in her directly slightly. He could see how nervous she was and he felt so much worse.

“You know why I can’t promise that, don’t you?”

Kel groaned and nodded. “Yes, okay, I understand that but I don’t want you to hate me” He whined almost childishly.

“Can you just spit it out?” She huffed, getting a bit upset now. What could he be hiding that he thought she would hate him?

He was thinking hard about what to even say and where to start, when his brain to mouth filter failed him. “I’ve started talking to Sunny and Basil again and they’re doing really REALLY not good and Sunny looks like a fucking ghost and I think Basil hurts himself and they both are so paranoid that someone is out to get them and they are coming over here in 45 minutes because they want to see us and I just want to help them but I know you hate them and I'm SORRY!” Kel word vomited, rolling over again to hide his face in the duvet. He took a deep shaky breath after a moment and let it out as a loud groan. Aubrey’s silence was so loud. “And I really don’t want you to go.”

Aubrey was stunned, looking down at Kel who was still hiding his face. “Can you act like an adult for even a second?” She grumbled at him, pulling the blanket off his face. She was upset, frustrated by the fact that Kel wasn't seeming to take this seriously. She got even more annoyed at the fact that he was still so cute even when acting like this.

“They’re like, coming here?” She asked sternly, especially upset he waited so long to tell her.

Kel nodded softly and he sat up in the bed, pulling the blanket around his body for security.

“Kel I-,” She started, trying so hard to wrap her mind around this. “I don’t care if you’re friends with them…but I don’t think I can be around them.” She told him, trying to set that boundary for herself. She had no idea how to be nice to them. She actively wanted to yell at them and make them feel like shit.

“I think it could be a really good thing for everyone to see each other and make up.” He tried, glancing down at her hands. They were right there and he wanted to hold them and help calm her down but he didn’t know how.

“Is that why I'm here, Kel? So you can make them feel better by seeing me? So they can tell themselves that I forgive them and act like nothing happened?!” She raised her voice, started to get pissed the more she thought about it. "Maybe you have no problem pretending like nothing has happened, but I'm not."

Kel flinched hard as her tone and volume both suddenly changed. “No!” He tried to defend himself. “I can tell them not to come!” He told her, eyes looking hurt at her accusations. “I wanted you here because I like being around you, Aubrey! I just care about them a lot and I know Sunny cares about you and your opinion means a lot to him.” He tried to explain.

He threw the thought of holding her hand out the window. No way he was brave enough for that now. “I’m… really scared they’re not going to get better.” He admitted to her. “I shouldn’t have expected you to help them, I know. I’m sorry. They’re just hurting really badly and if I lost them..." He trained off. "I wouldn't forgive myself for not trying anything to make it better.” He said gently.

Silence filled the room. Aubrey’s lack of a response left him feeling helpless. He felt bad for thinking Aubrey would just help, that was a pretty big responsibility to put on someone.

“They’re that bad?” She finally asked. She, for whatever reason, didn’t expect them to be actually in danger. She thought they would just be a bit sad about everyone ignoring them. She knew they probably didn’t feel GOOD but she honestly wanted them to be at least a little upset.

“Aubrey, you have no idea.” He spoke sounding exhausted. “I went to Sunny’s house yesterday and it’s completely empty. His mom left and let him stay to finish high school but there is no food in the kitchen at all. There is no furniture, nothing. I have no idea if his mom even left him any money to live on or if she just left him to fend for himself. He is skin and bones.” Kel rambled out, desperate for her to understand why he was so stressed over them. “Then we went to see Basil and he had bandages all over his arms. I saw into his room for just a second and there was like, nothing in it but his bed and a dresser, like Polly took everything out and I have no idea why. Basil kept looking around like he was waiting for someone to grab him. And Sunny accused me of just seeing him to get his guard down so Hero could come hurt him” He looked to Aubrey with tears begging to spill from his eyes. “I’m scared to lose them. I don’t want this to happen to us again and I think that deep down you know that if something happened to them, you would be hurt.” He tried to push a little harder. He didn't like asking her to do something she wasn't comfortable with, he was just so helpless.

Aubrey just listened to him, eventually slowly nodding her head. “You’re right.” She agreed. Sunny once upon a time had been her favorite person in the world. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind for the love he had for his sister. She knew it was an accident, what happened to her good friend Mari. She knew that if the shoe was on the other foot and she was the one to accidentally hurt some one like that…she would never forgive herself. She hoped her friends would be there to remind her that it wasn’t her fault.

Instead, she ran from them. The guilt began chewing at her.

“I never wanted them to hurt themselves.” She tried to explain, Kel immediately grabbing her hands firmly. “Shut up Aubrey, don’t look at it like that.” He consoled her before she could let her mind wander any farther. Kel knew exactly how it felt to think that way and all you get out of it is a bad headache and a nauseous feeling that refuses to go away. “Of course you didn’t want them to hurt themselves. I think…they’re just in a really difficult position. Sunny has got to feel miserable, he has no one left. But he’s a great friend, you know he is. I hate seeing him waste away.”

Aubrey looked into Kel’s chocolate brown eyes and she felt herself give in. She couldn’t believe she had been so selfish. “I’ll stay.” She nodded in agreement. Part of her was in denial that it was that serious, but she had to see for herself. She knew Kel always had a little flair for the dramatic, she hoped this was just another case of that.

A knock at the door caught their attention and Kel looked at the clock, not realizing 40 minutes had gone by so quickly.

‘20 minutes early, typical Basil.’ Kel thought to himself, standing up from his bed. He looked at Aubrey's face carefully, silently making sure she was comfortable with seeing them. She nodded and stood up with him.

He kept hold of Aubrey’s hand, leading her down the stairs. He only let go of her when he got up to the door, watching as she almost hid behind him. She was still upset with them, but she knew she had to do her part to keep them safe.

Kel pulled the door open and put on his award winning smile, motioning for them to come inside. Aubrey hated seeing this behind the scenes perspective of Kel's smiles. She never would have guessed he could so easily put on a performance like this.

Basil led Sunny in, though his hands began sweating slightly as Aubrey came into view. He couldn't let his guard down. Not with her here.

As they walked in, Sunny didn’t take his eye off the floor until the door had been shut, eye immediately meeting Aubrey’s bright blue ones.

His eye was dark and cloudy, impossible to read his thoughts through. Much different from Basils expressive ones. Sunny felt his heart skip a beat as he held the eye contact with her for probably too long, but he couldn’t look away. He didn't know how to feel. He felt butterflies in his stomach, but he also wanted to throw them up.

Aubrey held the contact just as strong, feeling like she could cry at the sight of him, but she kept up her shields. She didn't want them to think she had gone soft.

Kel wasn’t lying when he said skin and bones. Aubrey finally broke the eye contact to let her eyes examine the rest of his body. She saw how his boney knees touched yet you could still see through the gap between his thighs. It was terrifying. Had he truly been just starving to death in his house that whole month? She remembered him being slim last time she saw him, but not THIS small. Not with his face this sunken in. Not this pale.

She couldn’t find the words to say to him, so she just watched as Basil looped his arm around Sunny’s and led him to the sofa where Kel sat down too. She follows Kel and sat close to him, watching as Basil eyed Aubrey skeptically.

She caught on quickly to the fact that Basil was trying to be protective over Sunny, but she wasn’t totally sure why. “Can you stop looking at me like that?” She finally growled at him, Kel’s eyes shooting over to her. He didn’t want them to start fighting.

Basil flinched and looked to Sunny, feeling uncomfortable for how protective he was being. “I’m sorry.” He quickly apologized, but he noticed Sunny’s eyes were still on her. He wished he could read his best friends mind.

“You too,” The girl spoke towards Sunny, not liking all the attention on herself this way. They were just fuckin’ looking at her, she hated it.

“Why?” Sunny questioned, everyone kind of taken aback by his response. What did that even mean? Why was he being like this?

“What do you mean ‘why’? You’re just looking at me.” She complained. “It’s weird.”

“You glared at me the moment I walked in. If you are going to do it, just do it.” He challenged. The room was stunned silent.

“Sunny, what are you talking abo-“ Kel tried to ask before Aubrey interrupted.

“Do what?” She growled, unsure what Sunny’s motive was. Why did he seem so on edge? Aubrey was ready to try to be kind to them when they came over and now Sunny looked ready to fight her. She had only ever seen him like this once, and that was the time he pulled a knife on her.

She was suddenly nervous that challenging him in this way wasn’t in her best interest. He could be crazy.

“If you’re going to get your payback then just get it over with.” He raised his voice slightly, eye completely void of any feelings. Even Kel was creeped out. It reminded him of how Sunny acted when accusing him of helping Hero get close to hurt him. Kel frowned sadly as he put together that it was his paranoia again. A symptom of his stress, he couldn't be blamed for this.

Basil was at a loss for words. Sunny had been so excited to see her and it was like something changed in him when he was actually there in front of her. He was in some weird survival mode and Aubrey was deemed a threat to him.

“I’m not going to hurt you, idiot! Unless you’re going to be a freak and pull a knife on me again!” She argued, Kel suddenly grabbing her arm tightly.

“Stop!” He interjected, standing up from the sofa, standing between the two of them. “I don’t know why this is happening. Why are we all so mad?!” He wasn’t surprised Aubrey was arguing with him, that was normal for her. But Sunny was clearing having a small episode and needed HELP, not anger thrown at him.

Kel turned to Sunny and kneeled down in front of him. “Remember what I told you before, Sunny?” He spoke softly, moving his head to block Sunny’s view of Aubrey and to force him to meet his eyes. He felt like Sunny was looking right past him to stare daggers into Aubrey's eyes.

Sunny broke the contact and his eyes shifted to meet Kels before he shook his head, not sure what he was referring to.

“No one is going to hurt you. Not Hero, not Aubrey, not me.” He promised. “You’re safe. I have got you, man. Aubrey is all bark no bite.” Kel smiled at him, glacing back to Aubrey with a smile to show her he was just teasing. He wished she had taken him more seriously when he told her they were ALWAYS waiting for someone to come and hurt them. Their paranoia was extreme, especially Sunny. He just sat alone in his house day after day with no one watching his back. He never really even slept in an attempt to watch out for himself. Basil at least had Polly.

“Aubrey,” Kel snapped quietly at her, grabbing her attention. “You’re not going to hurt him, are you?” He asked, hoping she would take the hint and make this right.

She glared at the two shortest boys before sighing, getting up to kneel in front of them with Kel. “I’m not going to hurt you. We were best friends, Sunny” She spoke, noticing how Basil flinched when she got closer to them. “I’m sorry, Basil. I'm not going to hurt you...” She gave in, annoyed by how unconvinced he looked. “Again. I won’t hurt you again.” She told him, knowing she used to beat him up just for the hell of it. She used to feel proud when he would come to school with a black eye she had placed on his face and when she would see him turn around after spotting her in the corridors. She felt like she had won back then, but she realizes now just what her torment had done to him. She made him hate himself.

Seeing how broken he was now made even thinking about that hard. Had he always looked this crushed? She wasn’t sure. Had she just not ever noticed how sad his eyes looked?

“I’m really sorry.” She tried again, eyes following as Basils hand moved to Sunny, intertwining their fingers. She could see how he calmed down quickly after the contact with Sunny. She examined the gauze around the boys arms and mentally agreed with Kel that it looked bad.

“What happened?” She asked him, not even thinking before asking.

“Aubrey, no.” Kel shook his head at her in an attempt to tell her to leave it alone. She nodded and gave him apologetic eyes before standing back up. Basil was glad Kel stepped in to help him avoid answering. He was too ashamed.

“So are we all good?” She asked, watching as Sunny’s eyes softened while he looked up at her. He nodded his head slowly, believing that if Kel trusted her then he could too.

His now much softer eye still didn’t leave her though. She was really in front of him. It was amazing and painful and terrifying. He gripped Basils hand firmly, them both using each other for support.

“All g-good.” Basil agreed, trying to offer her a smile. Part of him wanted to be jealous of the way she held Sunny’s attention, but he had a rule in his head that Sunny’s feelings come first. If Sunny chose Aubrey, he was okay with that. But Basil couldn’t help but notice how close she seemed to Kel.

Kel stood up and slung his arm over Aubrey’s shoulders and looked down at the other two boys. “I think we all need to talk about all this…shit we are feeling. We all have shit we need to get out.” Kel led, hoping that if they had a big uncomfortable talk now, things could get better later.

He looked around as the group nodded slowly, feeling good knowing they were all in agreement. “I’ll go first.” He volunteered. “I’m worried for you guys. I feel guilty and terrible for abandoning you and I love you guys- actually, all three of you guys, so much. I just want to see everyone happy again.” He vented out, looking around the room at his friends. "I miss seeing my brother happy." He finished, sitting back down on the sofa when he was done talking about himself.

The room was quiet and Kel awkwardly shifted in his seat. “Someone else go.” He spoke seriously, hoping to get the attention off himself.

“I’ll go.” Aubrey spoke up. Usually she wouldn’t be interested in participating in anything like this, but she knew it was important to Kel. On top of that, she did have things she needed to say to Sunny.

“I’m sad. And angry. Sunny, I know now how hard everything was for you but I needed you.” She hoped to whatever god was out there that her voice wouldnt fail her and that she could get through this without sounding stupid. “I came to your door and I would knock and cry and beg for you to come out and just hug me. Your mom always just told me to try again later. That you were busy.” She admitted. She could go on for ages about how she felt towards Sunny and a lot of it wasn't very kind. “Basil, I’m sorry for being so mean. I’m sorry for telling everyone that you’re a creep. You’re not bad, you were grieving.” Aubrey tried to give him a smile but she was just too embarrassed to even look at them. She knew Basil deserved more than that too, but that was all she could get out.

Sunny sat there feeling like the biggest piece of shit in the world for hurting her. How could he do that to her? I remembered every single time she came over and he remembered hearing the rocks that hit his bedroom window from her desperate attempts to get him to come out. He felt disgusting. It took Sunny a while to notice when Aubrey stopped trying to get him to come out. He never really thought that had any effect on her, though. He thought she was just trying to comfort HIM, he didn't realize she was the one that needed him.

He finally stood up and stepped up to Aubrey, pulling her in close and hugging her as tight as he could, but in reality he was barely squeezing. Sunny was just so weak. “I’m so sorry, Aubrey.” He whispered to her. “I’ll never do that to you again. I’m so sorry. After…everything happened… I shut down. It wasn’t fair and I’m really sorry.” He apologized before letting go of her. "I didn't expect to be around long enough for it to matter if I opened the door or not." He announced, not much feeling behind the words. Sunny had come to terms with death and he really did expect that it would have happened by now. "Sometimes I wish I had done it already so none of you would be so worried right now. I could have just gone while you still hated me and it would have all been so much easier." He vented out, Aubrey balling up her fists as she heard his words.

"How can you just say that to us? You know we care about you and we don't want anything to happen to you!" She raised her voice, feeling overwhelmed by his admission. "Why would you say that?”

Sunny looked at her with a sort of confused expression. "I thought we were being honest about our feelings." He said as if he was no longer sure that that was the assignment. "That's how I feel."

Kel hated hearing that that is how Sunny really felt. "You did a great job holding on though, Sunny." He said with a little smile, hoping the positive affirmation was enough to reach him. "Is that how you have felt in the past or do you wish that right now?" He asked, unsure if he was really ready to hear the answer.

"I'm happy I'm here... but I don't deserve to be. You guys should all hate me. I think If I left you would all be better off. So I feel guilty staying here." An almost pout began growing on his face. He felt miserable. Sunny felt himself starting to get overwhelmed, his breathing picking up pace as everyone looked at him. He sat back down, hoping that sitting would help but he still felt horrible. A panic attack had suddenly snuck up on him and he felt like he was going to start hyperventilating.

"Are you okay, Sunny?" Basil asked quickly, noticing that his friends breathing was off right away. He didn’t know what could be wrong with him.

Sunny suddenly felt like he was going to pass out but he didn't want to go out in front of them.

"Excuse me." Sunny barely managed out before standing up and rushing to the bathroom down the hall and slamming the door behind him.

The three that were left in the living room looked around at each other, unsure what to do. Aubrey and Basil stood up at the same time to go check on him and Aubrey shook her head. "I need to go talk to him." She told the two boys in front of her before turning and quickly making her way down the hallway.

Chapter Text

Sunny sunk down to the floor of the bathroom, eye wide as he stared off into space. It was like he no control over his thoughts anymore, his brain was just littered with a voice screaming that him being alive was a burden to everyone. He felt disgusted with himself for still being there. For still being alive. For sitting in Kel's house and accepting his friendship. He felt like he should have never opened his door and let Kel back in. He was so fucking worthless, he knew he was. If he wasn't his family would still be there. His father wouldn't hate him. His mom would have fought with him when he mentioned staying in Faraway Town without her.

'You're so selfish' The voice hissed. 'You know you're a horrible person, don't you?' It spoke fiercely. Sunny nodded his head at the words, eyes looking panicked. He felt like he needed to get away, but he was trapped in this fucking bathroom and there way no way in hell he could open that door and face them all again. Just when he started feeling better, this stupid fucking voice just comes back again, fucking everything up. Before Sunny could even attempt to clear his mind and calm down, he hears an ever so quiet knock at the bathroom door. He figured it would be Basil, he was always there for him. He couldn't thank Basil enough for everything he had done for him. But he couldn't let him in. Who knew what he would say or do, Basil deserved better than him.

"Let me in, Sunshine." Aubrey's gentle voice spoke through the door, using a nickname she hadn't used for him in a VERY long time. It caught Sunny off guard and he recoiled slightly at the sound. He felt like he just made her feel so bad for him that she felt the need to use the name. It wasn't genuine. That thought made him feel so much worse.

"Come on, Sunny. I need to talk to you." She said delicately. Aubrey turned at the door knob, knowing that if she could get in and see him that everything would be okay. "Give me just five minutes, okay? If you want me to go after that then I will." She felt ridiculous fighting for Sunny to talk to her, but she was also very concerned for him.

Everything in Sunny's mind and body screamed for him to not open that door, but now he felt terrible for making her sit out there worrying about him. It was like he was having a battle within himself, trying to quickly figure out what the safest option was. He unlocked the door quietly and fell back to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. Aubrey heard the lock turn and she let herself in, closing the door behind her right away. She saw him curled up on the floor and gave him a sad look before sitting down next to him.

"Sunny." She spoke seriously, her blue eyes staring hard at the boys face. He wouldn't look up at her. "I wish things had been different." She sighed, unsure where to even start. "Mari was your sister, but she was as close to a sister as I will ever get. I loved her like you did I wish I kept trying to see you, I know that if I needed you then you needed me too. If I could change it, I would." She put her hand on Sunny's boney knee and internally cringed as how small he looked even next to her considerably small hand. "Kel and Basil and I have got you now, okay?" She offered, Sunny's eyes finally peaking up at her. She couldn't get past how tired he looked.

"Okay." He whispered out, eye still looking frantic and pained. He trembled at her touch, wishing his brain would just let him enjoy the contact with his childhood crush. He was finally having a decent moment with her and his stupid fucking nerves were ruining everything.

"Kel told me your mom left you here so you can finish school, right?" She asked, having so many strong opinions about his mother at the moment. How the fuck do you just leave your unstable teenage child alone in a house. How stupid do you have to be? Sunny could have been dead in that house and no one would have know. Why would she even rick that? Sunny nodded his head at her question.

"So are you enrolled for senior year? Classes start next week." She reminded. He was disappointed with himself as he shook his head 'No'.

"Okay, you're going to get signed up and you're going to go. I bet Kel will walk with you since he passes your house anyway." She spoke, picking her words carefully. She knew Sunny had gotten really upset when he felt like he was being a bother, so she hoped that that phrasing would make him feel better about accepting the help. And it did. Sunny was able to nod his head in agreement without feeling his stomach cramp again. "Do you have any money?" She asked delicately. She had to know what exactly they were working with. She wanted to find out why he had no food at all in his house. She swore to god if his mother left him with nothing to live on she was going to find her herself and take matters into her own hands. Sunny and Mari's mom was once one of her favorite people. She had let all the kids make her house their main hang out spot and she always made dinner for everyone. She loved them all like they were her own kids. And now Aubrey saw her just leave her kid behind The younger boy hesitated for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. "What do you mean you don't know? Did your mom leave you with any?"

He nodded his head, feeling extremely disappointed with himself now.

"What happened to it? Kel mentioned that you didn't have a whole lot of food at your house." She frowned at him, noticing his ashamed looking expression "What have you spent it on?" Why was he being so secretive about this?

Sunny groaned and rubbing his eye against the back of his hand. He mumbled something under his breath but Aubrey couldn't make any sense of it.

"What?"

Sunny let out an embarrassed sigh. "Black Jack." He finally admitted, unable to look her in the eye. "On the computer."

Aubrey could smack him. She wanted to hit him so bad for being such an idiot. "You spent all your money... on online black jack?" She repeated, to make sure she understood right.

"Not all of it. I had $20 left but Kel asked me to buy Gino's yesterday." He muttered.

Aubrey could beat the shit out of Kel too. What an asshole. They were both so stupid. "I'll get you your money back from him. You need to buy food Sunny. You can't feel good, do you?" She asked, knowing Sunny had to be feeling unhealthy. He shook his head, agreeing that he didn't feel well. "So you'll need afterschool job to pay for things you need since you blew all your money." She sighed at him, seeing as Sunny hid his face behind his knees like this conversation was exhausting him.

"Can you stop babying me?" He asked, not bothering to look back up at her. "You and Kel should just forget me and go be happy or something." He grumbled, suddenly sounding so angsty like he was 13 years old again and jealous of her being around anyone but him.

Aubrey frowned at the words, confused why he would just bring that up. "What is that supposed to mean?" She asked curiously, unsure why Sunny would say something like that. She got nothing more than a shrug in response. "Sunny, that's not cool. You know I care about you." She tried to remind him but he just scoffed.

"Not like Kel." Even Sunny didn't know why exactly he was being like this. It was so childish. He had Basil, who he knew favored him over anyone else and who he knew he could always count on. Yet the idea of Aubrey liking Kel more than she liked him stung. Everyone always liked Kel more. Kel even dated their neighbor Cris in 9th grade when Sunny had developed a fat crush on her. It sucked. The way Kel felt he lived in Hero's shadow was the was Sunny felt like he lived in Kel's.

Sunny's words hurt her heart. She had recently developed feelings towards Kel, and they felt very strong. She really liked him and wanted to be there for him. She didn't want to mess up what her and Kel may have. However, a part of her never really let go of what she felt for Sunny. That's why it hurt her so badly when Sunny abandoned her when she felt like she had needed him the most. "Not like Kel," She started, not wanting to say anything that could jeopardize her blooming relationship with Kel. Part of her did wish she could tell him she did have some feelings for him though. "But I do care about you a lot. I always have. Sunny... I loved you. A lot. That type of thing never really goes away. I love you enough to forgive and move past everything and to be here for you while you try to get better." She told him softly, her hand moving from his knee to his arm that was wrapped around his calves. Her thumb rubbed small circles against his cold skin.

Sunny's face heated up at the admission, unable to believe that he just heard those words from her. But they weren't in the romantic context he had always dreamed of, but he almost wasn't upset about it. Kel deserved to be happy...

"I wish you had told me that then." He spoke, eye finally peaking up at her. "I..." He began before shaking his head. He felt like he couldn't say anything that wouldn't hurt Kel to hear. He knew he couldn't die without saying it to her. She had to know how he felt. "I think I'll always love you." He spoke out clearly to her, knowing he had to say it now or never. He hoped Kel would never find out about him admitting his love to his girlfriend.

Aubrey's heart fluttered softly at the words, biting down on her lower lip. She didn't expect to feel butterflies in her stomach at Sunny saying that to her. She was feeling so many emotions. She also never expected for him to actually admit it to her. "Sunny... how do you feel towards Basil?" She asked barely above a whisper. She needed to understand what was happening with Sunny and Basil before she could go any farther with this.

Sunny thought for a moment about the question, a warm smile growing on his face as he thought. "He makes me feel warm." He told her, his eye catching hers, the dazed smile staying on his face. "Even when he is scared, he doesn't look on the downside. The glass isn't just half full to him, but over flowing." He spoke, picturing his best friends face in his mind. "I feel like he is too good for me. He would let me break his heart over and over and would still beg to see me. He is too good..." Sunny looked down, a bit saddened by the thought. "I like him a lot."

Aubrey's chest felt tight as she listened, knowing that it was probably a good thing Sunny felt that way towards Basil. She didn't want to give up Kel, and she wanted Sunny happy. This was a happy medium. "That is how I feel about Kel." She told him gently, putting a smile on her face. "It feels nice right? Knowing someone would do anything for you... I don't want us to lose that." She told him, Sunny nodding in agreement after a moment.

She was right. Sunny knew he wasn't good for Aubrey. They hadn't even been friends again for more than an hour. "Does Basil know how you feel?" She questioned. She wondered if Kel knew how she was feeling.

Sunny chewed at his lip, trying to think. He really wasn't sure. "Probably." He shrugged.

"You've got to tell him! I don't want Basil to keep looking at me like he is ready to jump me over you." She chuckled, her hand still resting on his arm.

"I'll tell him." He assured her with a tiny smile. "Are you and Kel.. like... official?" He asked her, trying to act like he wasn't hurting over the rejection from her. But he did agree it was probably best. He never wanted to hurt Kel or Basil, two people he admired and loved over a stupid childhood crush. He couldn't do that to them. Aubrey would now and forever he his friend.

Aubrey quickly shook her head at the question. "We are just talking... I like him a lot though. I think he likes me too. We will see though." She spoke gently.

Sunny nodded and took a deep breath, looking around the room. "Do I actually have to enroll for school?" He suddenly changed the subject, very much not wanting to go. He knew Aubrey's friends must know the truth about his sisters death and the idea of facing anyone at school who knew felt impossible. "I'm already so far behind..." He tried to convince her to not make him, as if she was his mother making him do something he really didn't want to do.

Aubrey burst out in laughter at the question, Kel and Basil hearing her from the living room. She wasn't expecting for them to circle back around like that. She really was anticipating comforting him a bit longer. "If I remember correctly, you're the one that didn't let me drop out." She reminded him. He almost didn't remember what she was taking about until the memory flooded back to him.

It was the night before everything fell apart and Sunny ended up in the hospital with Basil.

They were all going to sleep at Basil's house, taking turns sharing their after high school plans. Aubrey had been so quiet which was extremely out of character for her. Hero pushed her into answering when she snapped at him to leave her alone. Kel began prodding as well, Aubrey admitting she didn't have a plan because she had all but decided to drop out that summer and get a job and an apartment so she could move out of her alcoholic parents home. She wanted out so badly and that felt like the only way to her. Hero tried to tell her how much fun university was and that she needed high school if she ever planned on going to university later. That just upset her farther.

Sunny listened carefully to all their suggestions, only speaking up when the room fell silent. "You're the smartest person I know." He spoke boldly, not thinking about how that may offend his other friends. "You have an unfortunate situation in front of you that I honestly don't know how I would get out of, but it's not like you to take the easy way out. You just don't. That's something you had in common with my sister. It's so... annoying how you both make things harder for yourself but that's what you do. You are able to hang on a little longer. Even when you feel like you're too tired to move, you can always push to take a few more steps. You're not the Aubrey I remember if you're going to take the easy way out." Sunny spoke out, eyes were focused on the floor in front of him. Everyone stared at him, absolutely stunned. They didn't have any other words to say. "I don't think I have ever heard you say so much." He remembered Kel replying, eyes wide in disbelief.

Sunny didn't really expect her to listen to him that night, he honestly hadn't thought about those words again since they left his mouth. "You decided to stay in school?" He asked, mouth falling a jar. Aubrey smiled at him and nodded. "It's just one more year. I'm going to get an afterschool job too so I can be saving up to leave." She told him, feeling really grateful for Sunny giving her the advice. "You've gotta listen to your own advice though, okay?" He really didn't want to agree to that, but it did feel so much better knowing Aubrey was going through it with him. "We in this together?" She asked, smiling brightly at him, feeling like she had gotten through to him.

"Together." He agreed.

Chapter Text

11:30AM.

Kel's eyes shot open at the sound of his alarm clock, looking over and groaning when he realized he had slept in every alarm that blared this morning. His first one went off at 7AM, 30 minutes before visitors hours started at the hospital. He was so frustrated with himself, he really wanted to be there waiting the moment he was allowed to go into his brothers room to see him. He really hoped he was doing better, he knew that Hero didn't deserve to feel the type of hurt he had been feeling the other day.

He hopped up out of bed, throwing on the first pair of basketball shorts he found on his floor and pulled his legs through them, grabbing an oversized hoodie from the corner of his bed, where a large pile of unfolded clothes laid. He smelled the hoodie deeply, trying to decide if it smelled to much like B.O. to put on. After a moment of hesitation, he slipped it over his head and stepped out of his bedroom.

"Hey mom?" He called out, walking down the stairs just to hear radio silence. He frowned and looked around for a moment, finding a note held onto the fridge door with a magnet.

'Hello baby! Your father and sister and I went ahead to the hospital. Your door was locked so I wanted to give you space. Come when you wake up. Te veo!'

Kel frowned reading the note, wishing his parents had just knocked on the door, he really wanted to be there as long as possible. None the less, he puts on his shoes and heads out the door, hoping Hero wouldn't be mad at him for not being there. Kel thought to himself about how he invited Aubrey to come, and he only now wondered if that was really something she would want. Maybe this was all just too much for her... they had only just reunited after all. He felt like he shouldn't push her too far. But still, he wished he could be driving his parents car to her house to pick her up and bring her with him.

He began walking to the hospital, still deep in thought.

The night before went really well after Aubrey and Sunny finally came out of the bathroom. Conversations began flowing well, Aubrey interacting more with their black haired friend. Kel had felt like they suddenly had gotten a lot...closer. He felt sort of conflicted, because that was honestly all he wanted, but he felt like even when he was talking, Sunny's eyes were on her. He tried to shake the thought out of his head. Sunny said he didn't like her that way. The thought of Basil and Sunny having feelings for each other didn't even cross his mind. He didn't want to be jealous of his friend. He wanted to be happy everyone was back together. He decided to just try and move past it, trusting that Sunny said there was nothing there.

Before he knew it, he was walking up to the front of the hospital, going to the elevators and clicking the elevator button up to the 6th floor where they kept the behavioral patients. Kel walked up to the reception desk, unsure what exactly to say.

"I'm here to see my brother Hero." he told the blonde haired woman behind the desk. She typed on her computer for a moment, giving him a confused expression.

"I'm sorry, there is no one here by that name." She told him. "This is the behavioral ward, maybe they're on another floor?" She suggested, Kel frowning and pulling his phone out to check the text from his mom that had the room number.

"No, says 6th floor." He urged. That's when he realized his mistake. "Oh! Oh, Henry. His birthname is Henry." Kel awkwardly laughed at himself for messing up something as simple as his brothers name. She typed for a moment before nodding.

"Found ya. Room 622." She guided, Kel thanking her and making his way towards the room. Suddenly his anxiety was building up and he was so scared to see his brother. He was really mad still, but so grateful Hero was alive and safe. He didn't want to think about how bad it could have been if Hero hadn't reached out and called Kel home. He knew that Hero didn't really want to hurt himself and he just felt really lost.

Kel stood outside the room, fidgeting with his hands for a minute before grabbing the handle, hesitating again before finally turning it. And the sight before him warmed his heart.

Hero sat on the floor in white pajamas with purple stripes doing down vertically with grey socks on and their baby sister snuggled into his lap. A small smile crept up on his face, Hero looking up at him at the sound of the door opening. HIs eyes looked surprised at first before the emotions fully hit him. Kel saved him. His sweet brother.

"Hey..." Kel said gently, Hero already setting his sister down in their moms arms and standing up. "How are you feel-" Kel barely got out before feeling his taller brother firmly wrap his arms around his shoulders, pulling him in tightly. The hug reminded Kel of when they were kids and Hero was a foot taller than his kid brother. Times when Kel had a bad dream and was too scared to close his eyes again. Or when Kel fell over and over again when learning to ride his skateboard and he felt like he would just never figure it out and he wanted to just give up. But Hero was always there. And he would wrap his arms around his brother and reassure him that everything was going to be okay. He told him how one day, none of this would even matter. That scary dream wouldn't matter one day and all those frustrating fails learning his skateboard wouldn't matter. He always helped his brother look on the bright side.

But things have changed since those hugs. Kel was just barely shorter than his older brother now and Kel could feel how Hero had pitifully sunken into the embrace. Hero was the one that needed the comfort this time. That was okay. It was Kel's turn to repay the favor. Kel held his brother tight, feeling the tears swelling up in his eyes. "How are you feeling?" He repeated himself, hoping to hear only good things.

"Better... but not great." He admitted truthfully. He wanted to lie and tell his family that he was doing great and hopefully he could leave the hospital sooner, but the thought of this happening again and him hurting them again was just too much to handle. Small beads of tears swelled up in Hero's eyes as he held onto his younger brother and he sighed, letting go of him so he could rub his eyes. "How about you? I'm sorry I worried you..." Hero began, Kel's jaw clenching tightly at the words.

"You didn't worry me, Hero." He began, trying to stop himself from blurting something too harsh out. "You scared the shit out of me." He told him sincerely, eyes still wet with tears. "If I lost you, I don't know what I would ever do. I would go end up like Sunny or something." He spat out, hurt in his voice. But he immediately felt terrible for saying that. Sunny was his friend and now he mentioned his name like it was an insult. He felt like a really bad friend. He watched as Hero looked down to the ground, shaking his head.

"You'll never be like him." Hero spoke seriously. "Never. Don't even say that." Kel couldn't read his expression. He didn't seem mad... just very stern and serious.

"It's true. Sunny would be just fine if he hadn't lost a sibling. Like yeah, he was always shy. But I would be no different. I would be stuck in my house forever missing you and wishing I wasn't so alone. I would just sit there waiting and waiting for someone to come help me stop missing you but I would never be able to stop. You can't do this to me again." He pleaded, feeling so scared at the thought of not having him. "Even when you moved away to university I missed you. At first I just stayed at home. I only went out of practice because mom told me if I got good enough I could get a scholarship next year to your school." Kel told him desperately.

Hero's eyes softened at the admission, only now realizing just how loved he was. He knew his family cared for him, but knowing Kel based his whole life around having to be around his brother spoke volumes. "I'm sorry..." Hero said again sadly. "I don't want to get that bad again. I want to get better." He told him gently. Kel tried to muster up a smile.

"I know." He nodded. Kel wiped his eyes, walking over to Hero's hospital bed and taking a seat at the edge of it. "That girl probably thinks you've ghosted her." Kel teased him, not realizing he probably shouldn't talk about things that had triggered the episode in the first place. Hero groaned and hid his face behind his hands, trying to suppress a laugh.

"I mean, I almost literally did." Hero mumbled out between giggles. Kel slapped a hand over his own mouth in an attempt to hold his loud laugh in. Their mother did not look entertained. The boys felt a bit bad after seeing her straight face at the 'joke'.

"Hopefully she will forgive me." Hero spoke more seriously, disappointed that he probably fucked up a good thing. "She really was amazing. I liked her a lot." Hero gave a sad smile. Kel nodded, wishing he could make it better.

"If she is mad at you for not talking for a few days, that is her problem. There is no way for the right girl for you to slip away that easily." Kel spoke before realizing what he had said. He couldn't believe he would say something like that to Hero. God, Kel felt like an idiot today.

Hero just nodded, looking away from Kel for a moment. "I mean... you're not wrong." He softly agreed. "But part of me really does feel like Mari was my one. She got away so fast and I never even got to say goodbye." He sighed, fingers playing with the sheets on the bed. "You think there is really a girl out there still?" He asked, Kel putting his arm around his brother. "She's out there. And you can still love Mari forever. The right one will make room for her." He told him gently. Hero smiled at the thought. He agreed that whoever was the woman for him would need to accept his love for his lost high school sweetheart.

After a moment, the parents of the boys decided to step out of the room to give them some privacy, Hero deciding to try and reverse the roles on Kel. "Speaking of girls..." He gave a quirky smile, realizing that in all his recent stress, he hasn't heard Kel talk about any new girls. It had been several months since Kel had said anything actually. "I feel like I'm not being a good brother if I don't ask if you are seeing anyone." Hero joked with him, Kel's cheeks suddenly turning bright pink. His silence was too loud for Hero. "You totally are!" He exclaimed.

"I am NOT talking about this while you're at a hospital, Hero." Kel decided, ears burning along with his red face.

"Please, I need to hear some good news, it's good for my health!" He played with him, playfully shoving him. Kel rolled his eyes, feeling trapped to talk about it now.

"Hero please don't make me." He begged, Hero raising an eyebrow at him. "You've never been this secretive about girls before... Is it someone I know?" He pushed, eyes widening at Kel's silence. "Tell me, Kel!" he laughed.

"Fine! Aubrey!" Kel gave in, Hero's grin not leaving his face as he heard her name.

"So you finally realized?" He asked, Kel giving him a confused look.

"What do you mean?"

"Kel, even you aren't that naïve." Hero chuckled. "You've always had a crush on her." But Kel just shook his head.

"I couldn't stand her before. She was always so mean and she always took my things and wouldn't give them back. And she would throw stuff at me last year every time we passed each other in the halls." He tried to explain, not believing he had a crush on her before. "But when we last saw her... she looked so sad and I wanted to help her. I've seen her a couple times in the last few days and she is so... sweet. And she wasn't embarrassed to sit really close to me and she lets me hold her hand and she doesn't make fun of me when I just want to look at her eyes..." Kel rambled, stomach dropping when he realized how mean this was to do to Hero. He felt like he shouldn't have given in and said anything.

"Mari used to joke all the time that if Sunny didn't hurry up and confess then you may actually realize and say something first." Hero smiled fondly at his brother. "Have you told her how she makes you feel?" Hero asked curiously.

"I mean... no? But we do all the cute girly things girls usually like, isn't that enough?"

Hero rolled his eyes. "You've got to tell her how you really feel. Don't you ever get nervous that she doesn't like you that way since you've never asked her?"

Kel thought for a moment before shaking his head. "No? She holds my hand and sits next to me." He spoke like it was obvious. He wasn't going to tell Hero yet about his suspicions of Sunny still being interested in her. But now he wondered if he really should make it official so no one would think of asking her out.

Hero gave him a warm smile and chuckled at him. "You're right, Kel. Its Aubrey we are talking about, anyway. She doesn't do anything without thinking it through." He gave in, smiling.

"She wanted to come see you today." Kel mentioned, trying to find out if that was good or bad for Hero. He was pleased to see his brother smile wider.

"Bring her tomorrow." He told him. He did miss her and felt like seeing Kel being happy with someone would help spark some hope within himself. He wanted to get better so badly. He wanted to turn everything and make Mari proud. He truly felt like she was watching over him, and he didn't want her to be forced to watch him fall apart. He was going to get better and honor her.

"Deal." Kel beamed.

---------

Kel and his family stayed until the last shift change of the day when a new nurse came in and asked everyone to leave. It was hard to walk out the doors, knowing Hero would spend the rest of the day and night and next few days there. He didn't want to leave without his brother. Sleeping in his empty room was difficult and it left too much room for his brain to play tricks on him. Lately his dreams liked to pretend to be a world where Kel didn't get to Hero in time. And the empty bedroom combined with Hero's phone not returning any of his text messages didn't help. He wasn't looking forward to another dream like that.

But he did make it out the door; and then down the elevator, and then to his parents car and sure enough, he made it back to his home where he had to hike up those stairs to that painfully bare room again. He threw himself on the bed, looking around his room for something to occupy his attention. Nothing looked interesting. He considered calling Aubrey, even going as far as to pull his phone out. But when he realized he hadn't received a single text from her, he got nervous. Maybe he was too late to her. Maybe Sunny really had confessed first? His heart throbbed at the thought. He wanted to call her right away and spill his heart out to her, but he felt like that may not be how he wants to remember that happening.

He spent way too long laying on his bed and weighing the pros and cons when he finally couldn't take it anymore. He felt like he needed to beat him to this. Kel grabbed his phone and quickly pulled up the contact 'Auby' and smiled fondly. He remembered typing it in when he first got his phone in 8th grade. The typo brought the group so much laughter it had stuck for a while and Aubrey became known as Auby.

<< I need to see you. Meet me at the park? You know where.

He stared at the test hard before finally pressing send, hoping to god she was free. He couldn't get her stupid face out of his head and he couldn't stop thinking about if he waited too long to confess to her what could happen. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he almost missed the feeling of the phone vibrating on his stomach where he had tossed it down. He picked it up and his heart fluttered at the text.

<< Be there in 5. Don't keep me waiting.

That was the last thing he wanted to do.

He jumped up and threw his shoes on, rushing down the stairs. HIs parents were already in bed and part of him felt bad about sneaking out, but the punishment of being too late to meet Aubrey seemed worse in his head than anything his mom could throw his way. He walked quickly down the street, knowing damn well the park was almost 10 minutes away. But he still tried.

As he finally approached the park, his breath caught in his lungs at the sight of her. Sitting on the swings, her long pink hair thrown up in a messy bun on her head. She was in her pajamas and Kel almost felt guilty for dragging her out of her house. But he wanted to be selfish for a minute. He wanted to just have something for himself just this once. He quickly ran over to where she sat, his face grinning wide as he approached her. "Hey."

"It's been 8 minutes Kelsey..." She playfully grumbled. "I was about to walk home." She faked him out, laughing.

"I know. I'm sorry." He spoke softly, just staring at her, trying to read her mind. But she was impossible. Aubrey could never be read, and she never should be. Aubrey was complex and difficult and never really knew what she wanted but Kel adored it. He hoped this confession would finally silence that nagging need to be around her because honestly he was starting to feel creepy.

He hated feeling possessive over her when Kel knew she was the most independent person he had ever met. He knew she didn't need him, and that was okay.

He had a whole plan of what he was going to do or say the moment he finally saw her, but his mind was blank. He had not a single thought running through his head.

"So... what did you drag me out here for?" She questioned, pretending it was a bother to be out there. Really, she was really happy to hear from him. She assumed he had been busy seeing Hero, but she had wished Kel told her when he was going. Basil gave her some flowers from his garden to bring to Hero at the hospital and was was embarrassed to actually bring them but she hoped it would be a nice gesture to him.

Kel just smiled big at her before suddenly leaning in, pressing his lips against hers softly.

Chapter Text

Aubrey melted into the kiss, her hands gripping the chains of the park swing tightly. In that moment, she was mesmerized by the gesture, her brain cloudy as she couldn't focus on a single thought that attempted to pass through her mind.

That was, until she felt Kel push back a bit harder against her mouth, her eyes shooting open as she suddenly stood up from the swing. Kel jumped back slightly at the sudden movement and his eyes looked worried. He was so nervous he had fucked up and somehow did something she didn't want. Was she not ready for that?

"Kel- Jesus." She breathed out, looking away from him. She looked uncomfortable. Kel felt so embarrassed. She had been kissing him back, wasn't she? She definitely was moving her lips! What went wrong?

"What?" He asked, concern filling his voice. He was so confused, he was sure he had read all the signs right. Unless... fuck. He was too late.

Aubrey felt so conflicted. She liked him so much and she really wanted to spend more time with him. But now he was here and he KISSED her and she felt like it was all just a lot. The soft peck was one thing but for some reason when she felt like he was trying to make it more, she got freaked out. She was used to guys flirting with her just to make out a little then toss her aside when they were bored. She wanted to believe Kel was different from the other guys. "I just... I don't know." She muttered, feeling stupid for not knowing how to explain her feelings. "I'm not easy." She told him simply, wanting to make it clear she wasn't going to be entertaining anything weird.

Kel gave her a confused expression, tilting his head slightly to look at her. "Of course you're not easy," He began, taking a small step closer. "You're Aubrey, the most confusing person I know. Not easy at all." He spoke reassuringly, Aubrey rolling her eyes when she realized he didn't understand what she meant by that. Kel was an idiot. She knew that. Everyone knew that. But he was a really sweet idiot. She was still skeptical, but she tried to calm herself down and let herself laugh at his words.

"Not like that, stupid." She gave a half laugh. "No funny business. I'm not interested in being anyone's fling." She spoke confidently, crossing her arms across her chest. The tall boy suddenly realized what she meant and his ears burned red. He couldn't believe she really thought of him like that. He had never tried to use any girl he liked for anything, and he especially would never peg Aubrey for being the type someone could do that to.

"No, of course not!" He immediately tried to explain. "No, I just wanted to tell you, um or like, show you how much I like you... I just wanted to kiss you. I'm sorry." He chewed at his bottom lip, feeling so bad for upsetting her. "I thought maybe you liked me that way too and I thought maybe you...wanted to kiss...me? I don't know. It was stupid, it wont happen again." He rushed out, eyes planted on the ground. She was there smiling at him with big adoring eyes when he suddenly felt her warm hands grab the side of his hot face, planting another kiss on his lips. Her eyes were closed and she seemed sure about it this time. His eyes were wide open with shock before finally forcing himself to relax into her touch. He felt safe with her. He had learned from his older brother how to treat girls and how to make them happy but he felt like Aubrey was infinitely different from any other girl he has liked. She didn't want to be serenaded or surprised with a string quartette or called out during one of his basketball games and dramatically asked out in front of everyone in school. Kel knew that the girls he usually liked generally enjoyed that. But she didn't want a grand gesture in a public place with all eyes on her. She just wanted to feel cared about and wanted and listened to and valued. Kel could do that. He swore in that moment that if Aubrey would allow him, he would be the best to her. He vowed to himself to never let her down and to always give her everything she could ever want so long as he physically could.

-------

The next few days went slow for Kel, eager for Hero to finally be coming home today. He had another small episode the night his family left from visiting the hospital on that first night, but other than that he was doing good. He was on new medicine and was finally sleeping through the night. Any thought of Mari felt fond. Sometimes the thought of her did force tears to sting at his eyes, but he never broke down. He was doing good. He even spoke with the therapist at the hospital about how to try forgiving the boy who he couldn't help but direct so much anger towards. He wanted to see him and not want to kill him. He wanted to be able to hug him and not want to hurt him. The betrayal he felt learning the truth was unmatched. After Mari was found, Hero would go see Sunny and would just hold him in his arms as they cried together, he promised Sunny over and over that is wasn't his fault Mari took her own life and begged him not to blame himself. Some days all he wanted was to take back those words. It was hard to feel like that pure memory was tainted.

His doctor tried to reassure him that the memory was just as real as he remembered it. Sunny didn't mean to hurt her. He had to live with the consequences of his regrettable actions forever. Even though it was an accident. His doctor tried to convince him that Sunny probably was probably beating himself up more than anyone else. He also told Hero that seeing the boy may help him to get the closure he needs. Hero hated the idea, but he wanted to do whatever his therapist says is best. He was grateful for the help he received.

When Hero came home, the whole family welcomed Hero back with a huge dinner, Kel feeling a huge weight off his shoulders now that he was here. He was so happy that everyone was back, all he wanted to do was invite all his friends over to try and make this feel real.

Him and Aubrey had spent a lot more time together in the last few days, Kel was happy. She sat on his families sofa while his mom prepared dinner and watched as Sally played with her toys on the living room floor. She usually didn't like kids AT ALL, but Aubrey didn't mind Sally so much. She was cute and didn't scream or cry a lot. She looked like Kel in a weird way and she thought it was adorable.

Kel spent the rest of the night ecstatic that he got to show Aubrey off to his mom who was happy to meet her again for the first time in years. She didn't love her dyed pink hair or her short skirts, but she loved how Kel's face stayed lit up with her around. And Hero seemed happier too. That was good enough for her.

He made a plate for Aubrey and they all gathered around the table, Aubrey trying to figure out how the fuck she was supposed to eat a tamale. She had picked it up and went to take a bite of it, husk and all, when Hero's eyes met hers. He shook his head quickly so no one else would see her mistake. Kel was too clueless to even realize what she was about to do.

Aubrey froze, seeing Hero shaking his head, eyes dropping down to his moving hands. She was confused for a moment before she watched the older of the kids unwrap the tamale and take a big bite of it. She felt so embarrassed and looked around the table, seeing that no one else saw her. Fuck, she was grateful for Hero. She glared at Kel as he blissfully took bites from his moms homemade elote, humming happily at the taste. She only went all out with food when they were celebrating and he felt like lately they hadn't had too many celebration worthy events happen. He wanted to savor this.

After dinner they all ended back in the living room, Kel and Hero sharing stupid stories and just enjoying each others company. Aubrey felt her phone go off in her pocket, feeling embarrassed as she pulled it out. She was nervous about looking uninterested to Kel's parents and she wanted to make a good first impression on them. She took out her phone and glanced at it quickly, seeing that Sunny had sent her multiple texts. She felt confusion wash over her as she opened up the first message.

>> I don't know what happened

She stared at the message, unsure what Sunny could mean. What a strange thing to say. She opened the next message.

>> he is in the other room talking to himself I don't know what I did

She felt her ears begin ringing, remembering how they had all found Basil and Sunny last time. Basil was just muttering nonsense to himself when they all walked in the bathroom to find Basil stood over Sunny with a bloodied pair of gardening sheers. She felt her blood run cold at the thought of getting back there and finding Sunny hurt. Or worse. She knew that if they hadn't found the boys sooner that time, Basil could have killed him. That thought in itself was hard for Aubrey to cope with. She knew Sunny forgave him so she did her best to as well. But Basil needed some serious help. She knew that she couldn't fix him, but she hoped she could help. She would never forgive him if he hurt Sunny again though. Sunny trusted him so much and she didn't want to see that trust get broken.

>>please help Aubrey I don't know what to do

Aubrey was stunned and had no idea how to react. Basil was in trouble and this was the ABSOLUTE worst time for it to happen. Poor Sunny was probably freaking out. Where was Polly? Shouldn't she be there with him? Aubrey sat there silently for a second, trying to gain the courage to say something to Kel when she realized she could be running out of time to save the boys. She didn't want to ruin the night for Kel who just got his brother back or make their parents upset, but in her anxiety she stood up quickly and faced Kel. "I really need to go." She whispered to him, everyone suddenly facing her. It was probably the most dramatic way she could have left but she was really scared of the lethal combination that was an anxious Basil and a depressed Sunny being alone together for too long. Kel would understand, right?

She turned around to face his parents, giving them a clearly plastered on smile in an attempt to regain some brownie points she was surely losing. "Thank you for dinner, it was great. Something came up and I have to go, but thank you again." She rambled out before quickly making her way through the living room and out the door.

Kel sat there silent, unsure what exactly could have caused her to leave like that. She was so confused and he knew his mom was going to have something to say about it. He wished she wasn't so picky about the girls her sons brought home. He knew something serious had to of happened for her to just leave like that.

"Did we do something wrong?" His mother asked, earning a frown from Kel. "No, I'm sure its serious. She wouldn't just leave like that." He tried to defend her before his mom could say anything else. Hero could tell something was up too, but he tried to not let his mind wander into her business. He knew her parents were alcoholics and her dad used to hit her as a younger teenager. They were rough. He wondered if she was in trouble with them over something. He worried himself at first, but he had to force himself to let it go. Aubrey was strong and could handle herself. Hero felt confident that she knew that if anything happened she could come back there and they would keep her safe.

Aubrey rushed to Basil's house, knocking on the door frantically. She groaned as no one opened the door. Part of her swore that this better be a big deal for her to have ruined Kel's families first impression of her. But the other park of her prayed everything was okay.

She got tired of waiting and pulled the door open, hearing a muffled voice coming from upstairs. She cautiously made her way up the stairs looking for them. "Sunny what's going on?" She asked as she saw the small boy sitting with his back to the door and his knees pressing against his chest. Basil had locked himself in the only room in the house Aubrey had no memory of ever being in. It was on the opposite side of the hall from his bedroom and now that she thought about it, she had never seen anyone go in there.

Sunny looked up to her with tired eyes, Basil's muttering from the other side of the door just getting louder. "I...don't know what went wrong. He has been weird all day and he was hardly talking to me which was weird and when I mentioned going to see what you and Kel were doing he got upset. I told him over and over that I'm not leaving him but he won't listen and he doesn't believe anything I say. He just says I'm a liar" Sunny vented, emotion void from his voice. That was the problem with Sunny. Any time anyone else felt extreme emotion, he shut now. Like he was bracing for impact, he just fell silent and made himself believe that he didn't care. And that's what made this extra frustrating for him, was that he DID care. But it was like he physically couldn't do anything to show it. He felt paralyzed.

"Where is Polly?" She asked him, Sunny shrugging.

"She's not answering the phone. I don't know what to do anymore." He felt hopeless and helpless and he just needed Basil back to normal. He couldn't take this. Aubrey began knocking on the door, hoping to god Basil would listen and come out to talk. She heard the sound of Basil talking stop as if he was trying to figure out who was behind the door talking to him. "Basil, its me, Aubrey" She tried. No reply. "Basil it is fucked up to leave Sunny out there worried sick like this." She raised her voice, hoping he would hear how serious she was. Clearly she wasn't the best at helping talk people through their feelings, but she was saying what she thought he needed to hear.

"W-why don't you just help him like usual?! S-since I cant ever seem to do it right." He huffed back, his voice stammering and shaking. Aubrey got mad at that. Was this over jealousy?!

"Basil, get out here so I can help YOU. So WE can help you." She tried desperately, hearing Basil step closer to the door.

"You're not really here to help me. You just want to hurt me, you're trying to trick me." He whispered through the door, unable to believe that this was real. Nothing around him felt real. He had been freaking out for hours, working himself up after Sunny mentioned something to him about maybe wanting to go to university with Kel and Hero. Basil felt like that meant that again everyone would be leaving and he would be all alone again and it just triggered him completely. After that, his brain told him that every word Sunny said was a lie. If he really liked him so much, why would he want to leave? It broke Basil's heart to feel like they all just wanted away from him. Was he that bad? He felt like he would be better off gone. He wanted to disappear.

"Basil. I was meeting Kel's mom when Sunny texted me. She already was looking at me like I didn't belong there and the moment I saw Sunny's text that you needed help, I came. Please believe that I care." She told him, hoping he would believe her sincere words. "She could hate me forever but at least I know you're safe"

She heard the door unlock.

Chapter Text

The door clicked open and Basil finally revealed himself, scratches all along his arms. He looked down towards Sunny who was still curled up with his knees to his chest, his one functioning eye focused on the floor in front of him. He wished Sunny would just come comfort him but instead the other boy just sat there. He knew Sunny had issues with handling other peoples emotions but Basil felt like all he needed was some comfort from the one he loved. Was that too much to ask? It didn’t feel fair to Basil.

But Aubrey opened her arms to him, right away seeing how the boy flinched at the movement of her arms. Aubrey looked to him with sad eyes. She had tried so hard to prove herself to everyone. She didn’t want to be the bad guy anymore.

“I’m not going to do anything to hurt you. Come here…” She spoke soothingly. Basil thought about it for a second, trying to decide if he should really trust her before taking a small step closer to her. She hugged him tightly, one of her hands resting against his head to pet his tangled blonde hair. She felt as Basil rested his head against her shoulder and let go of some of his weight against her. He was only then realizing how bad he had gotten. His eyes peaked open to look at Sunny. The poor boy still hadn’t moved. Guilt was eating Basil alive from the inside out and he had no idea how the fuck to make it stop.

“I need help, Aubrey.” Basil decided with a soft voice. She knew he did, they ALL knew that he did. Seeing how Hero was thriving after meeting with a therapist inspired Aubrey a lot and that’s all she wanted for her friends.

“Does Polly know what’s going on?” She carefully asked. Basil shook his head against her shoulder.

“She works a lot now. I have been telling her everything is fine so she won’t worry about me.” The confused Aubrey, she was his nanny. Wasn’t the nanny supposed to always be there? That was like the whole point.

“What do you mean she works a lot?”

Basil was silent for a minute before sniffling, trying to hold back his tears. “When my grandma died, Polly’s checks stopped coming. I didn’t want to lose her too and so I begged and begged for her to stay and she just got a new job as a night nurse at the hospital so she comes back during the day. But she sleeps a lot then so I don’t even see her a lot.” He admitted in one exhausted breath. No one knew anything about Basil it seemed. He didn’t talk about this stuff. He doesn’t let his hurt feelings escape until they bubble up like a shaken up coke bottle. Aubrey felt bad, he had been judging Basil for a lot of things, not realizing his personal conflicts he was facing as well. She had no idea why he was really going through when she bullied him.

Basil had no family in the entire world. No one knew the truth behind it all but him. His dad had died when he was a small kid. He and his mom walked in the door from grocery shopping one day and found him. He was only 6 at the time. Basil was mortified. His mother spent years pretending like it never happened, telling Basil that he had made it all up. Basil felt crazy because he KNEW it happened, why would he make something like that up? But still, his mother told him he was messed up for having such dark fantasies. She told him how fucked up his brain was for thinking that way. She threatened to call the police and say he is dangerous. He was only 8 when his mother said this to him.

Eventually Basil’s mother stopped showing up to her job. Bills stopped being paid. Groceries stopped being bought. Basil stopped being cleaned and cared for. She was in an extreme mental health crisis and Basil was trapped in the storm with her. Eventually a teacher who noticed her perfect students absence from school and called for a wellness check and CPS intervened.

Basil was moved to his grandmas house that same night with just a trash bag full of his clothes but his grandma welcomed him immediately, giving him a large bedroom and all the toys he could want. But his mind was still warped from being constantly in survival mode in that house.

When Basil’s grandma got sick, she hired Polly to come help with Basil to make sure that he would never get stuck in a situation where he didn’t have a fit guardian again. And when his grandma passed away, it felt like his world was crushed. Polly found her in her bed, and she made Basil leave the house for a few hours as she made the arrangements for his grandma to be removed from the house. Those times were hard. He had not a single friend in the world to see when it happened. No one to even tell. Not even anyone to stay with that night so he wouldn’t have to sleep in the house his grandma had just died in.

The next day at school, Aubrey and her friends jumped him. He cried and begged for them to please just let him go and Aubrey just rolled her eyes. She gave him one final kick to the ribs before she and her friends got bored and left. Basil remembered Polly’s tears when she saw him that night. He remembered her asking why anyone would do this to him. He didn’t have an answer for her. When Polly asked who it was, he stayed silent. He didn’t want her to get in trouble and end up bullying him more.

But here is was now, slumped over into her arms and gripping the back of her jacket tightly as tears flowed down his cheeks. “I just hurt everyone i’m around.” He mumbled against her shoulder, hands holding onto the back of her shirt tightly.

“What caused this really?” She asked, pulling away slightly to look at Basil’s face. The face she used to litter with bruises and small cuts from her rings after she hit him. Her stomach felt sick. He was so cute and tiny and fragile. How did she ever look at him like he was something to hurt? He didn’t deserve it. How could Sunny and Kel forgive her for putting sweet Basil through that?

“You heard him.” Was all he could manage out. He felt so embarrassed spilling his heart out to her. “I don’t know what I’m going to do when everyone leaves. You all are actually going to go do things a-and i can’t even go to the store with Polly without freaking out! You’re all going to move away for school and i’m just going to be stuck here.” He hated how that sounded when he said it out loud. Of course he wanted them to be successful, but it fucking sucked that he was the one that was definitely going to be left behind.

“That’s not true, Basil. You won’t be left behind. Even if people go to school, you can still call everyone and talk. Or you can go too.” She offered. “I don’t think i’m going to go to university.” She told him truthfully. Once she moved out she would have to work full time to pay rent anywhere. She hated school anyway. Being forced to sit through a class all day and do math was definitely not her thing.

“Even if they’re gone, i’m still here.” She spoke with a gentle smile, hoping that may make Basil feel better, but instead he just turned away from her.

“Okay. But you don’t even like me.” He almost spat out. He had good reason to assume that, in all fairness. But it wasn’t true. Not now.

“Basil. I know there is no excuse for how I treated you. I was a sad person going through a lot and I was not a good person to you or to anyone really.” She tried, feeling so ashamed of herself. “The days I was the worst to everyone else were the days my dad was the worst to me. I took out my anger on other people and i wish I could take it back.” She spoke truthfully, grabbing his hand in an attempt to comfort him. “Can you please try to forgive me? Kel and Sunny and Hero all have.” She knew she was the worst to Basil, but she was desperate for the sick feeling in her stomach to go away. She felt like if Kel forgave her after she booed at his games, egged his house, sent her friends to call him names and so much more, Basil could at least TRY to forgive him, right?

His sad blue eyes turned back to her and their eyes caught each other in a hopeful gaze. “Promise you don’t hate me now?” He asked skeptically.

She held out her pinky finger and gave a warm smile. “Pinky promise.” Basil gave a weak smile in return and wrapped his pinky around hers.

Hours passed and both Basil and Sunny finally fell asleep next to each other of Basils living room sofa. She hadn’t even had a free second to check her phone where Kel had tried to call her several times and honestly her mind didn’t even trek there. She hadn’t had the time yet. All her focus was on the two broken boys on the couch across from her. She was worrying about what would happen if Basil didn’t ask Polly to help him find a therapist. Or get him on some medication or something. His paranoia was becoming crippling and she saw how badly it was effecting Sunny. It was hard knowing how deeply Sunny cares for the other boy just to see Basil’s brain telling himself that it wasn’t true. Sunny barely looked at Basil the rest of the night, just held his hand and leaned against him. The pink haired girl knew Sunny was having a hard time moving past this. She wondered just how bad HIS anxiety really was over the Basil situation. Not being able to get Sunny to open up was the absolute worst thing to her. He was his own worst enemy.

When Aubrey was sure they were asleep, she breathed out a sigh of relief and finally pulled her phone out to check the time.

Jesus Christ, already 1am. It only look her another second for her to see the many texts from Kel. They started off worried and slowly got a little more desperate. In the first couple hours he tried calling her and sent several short texts begging her to at least just tell him she was okay. Then the texts became Kel just assuming it was something to do with her family (thanks to Hero’s awful suggestion).

<< im at your house, can you please come out?

She read the text, groaning out loud. Fuck.

<< your mom says youre not here, where are u??? she seemed pissed

She wanted to freak out. WHY would Kel go to her house?! Then knock on the door! Her parents were definitely going to give her hell for not being at Kel’s house like she said she would be.

Aubrey checked when the message was sent and she frowned when she saw it was from 10pm. By 11:30pm there was one final text saying he had to go back home because his mom was upset with him being gone, but to give him a call as soon as possible.

She felt like the worst….girlfriend? She has no idea if that was even what she was. Kel never really asked her, they just kissed a couple times and she came over for dinner. The thought of being Kel’s girlfriend made her head dizzy. Never in a million years was this where she thought she would end up. Gross, sweaty, expired orange joe drinking Kel. But he was so sweet and really handsome and he was the funniest person she knew. And she may have blown it all it one night.

>> you awake?

She texted him, picking at the skin around her fingernails while she waited. Immediately her phone starts ringing, causing her to jump and immediately declining the call. She didn’t want to wake up the finally resting boys.

>>what the hell is going on, aubrey?

She saw the text come though before she could even explain why she declined the call.

>>there are so many better ways to tell me you’re not into me than this. what did i do wrong?

She felt so awful.

>> i’m sorry! it was Sunny and Basil, they had an emergency. they’re sleeping now so i don’t want to wake them up. im so sorry i wouldn’t have left tonight for anything else

She gripped onto her phone tightly and waited impatiently for his response.

He began typing.

Kel had had a pretty stressful night after she left. His mom ended up asking tons of questions and made comments about how rude it was to just leave like that. He did his best to defend her, Hero jumping in to help saying something bad had to be happening. That only made Kel feel worse. Couldn’t he have just one good day?!

After he got back home from running by her house he just went home and l laid down, hoping she was okay. He hoped she hadn’t gotten upset and decided Kel wasn’t who she really wanted. Hero fell asleep quickly, excited to be back in his own bed, so Kel just laid awake with his thoughts. He had almost given up on the thought that Aubrey would even reply tonight.

Finally, she did.

>>are they okay?

Kel texted her back, unsure how to feel. Why didn’t she tell him that sooner?

>> i’m going to be honest, i don’t think that we can leave them alone anymore

That confused Kel. Were they really that bad still? He felt hurt that they hadn’t tried to call him, but he was also relieved they felt comfortable calling Aubrey.

He tried to push away the thought of Sunny calling Aubrey for help before him. That he was nervous about. This couldn’t mean anything…could it?

>> what do you mean by that?

Kel was nervous to know what exactly that meant. He didn't like thinking about what went so wrong Aubrey left and ignored him that way.

>> It almost happened again. Sunny and Basil. They can't be left alone together anymore.

Kel felt like his blood ran cold.

Chapter Text

Aubrey spent the entire night anxiously watching over the two fragile boys after Kel promised to stay awake with her on the phone to keep her company. He assured her that he wasn’t even tired and that he would probably be awake all night anyway. Of course after less than an hour, Kel had fallen asleep as well, snoring loudly into the phone. Aubrey had rolled her eyes at the sound of his first snore, but it was the middle of the night and she couldn’t really blame him.

The pink haired girl felt so conflicted about so many different things. Her feelings for Kel blended strangely with how she previously felt towards Sunny and sitting here now watching over him, she was being forced now to acknowledge some suppressed emotions she had never expected to have dug back up. She didn’t have actual feelings for Sunny, not the way she did Kel. She felt like she had to protect him though. She wished Sunny and Basil could be happy together and comfort each other but it was made very clear tonight that that wouldn’t be a possibility for a while. They had so many issues and for whatever reason Aubrey couldn’t even try to understand, when Basil is alone with Sunny and feels he is in a fight or flight situation, Basil immediately fights. It is so different from when he is with anyone else. Aubrey had bullied him almost every day through highschool so far and he never even tried to fight her back. What was it about Sunny that made Basil want to fight?

And on the flip side, Sunny almost always picked flight. He shut down when he was scared. He would curl up into a ball and hide his face as to not have to face anyone or anything. The only time Aubrey could remember any different was… the first time she had seen him when Kel got him to leave his house. He still had that blank expression on his face as he pulled a large kitchen knife from the waistband of his pants that he used to slice her cheek. She was startled for sure, yelled all sorts of things at him about how weird he was and how much of a freak he was for that. She understood the fear she must have put in him when her and her friends approached him, especially given that she had a bat with her. The guilt she felt was unreal.

In a weird way, it pissed her off that she felt so protective over him. She still wanted to hate him for cutting her or for what happened when Mari had passed. But another part of her wanted to hold him and kiss his stupid face and make all of his hurting go away.

She cringed at that thought. ‘What the FUCK is wrong with you?’ the voice in her head screamed. Kel was right there, just a phone call away. If she woke him up and asked him to come over he would. She could ask Kel for anything in the world and he would go to the ends of the earth to do it. Aubrey felt guilty for even thinking about Sunny that way. She knew she was happy.

However, thinking about Kel right now forced her to think about how badly she had fucked things up with the older boys family. She knew it would take a whole lot of ass kissing to make that up. She clenched her jaw at the thought, part of her feeling like there was no point in even trying to fix it. His mom would probably just hate her forever.

But as she heard another one of Kel’s obnoxiously loud snores rip through her earbuds, she knew it would be worth it. Kel was worth it.

The next morning, Kel had come over like he promised Aubrey he would, only to find them all passed out in the living room. He saw Polly’s car outside so he assumed she had came home that morning and went straight up to bed when he didn’t see her downstairs anywhere.

He quietly crept over to the sofa he saw the short girl asleep on and he placed his large tan hand on her head. He ever so gently pushed her bangs out of her face before lightly shaking her shoulder.

“Aub, wake up,” He whispered to her, earning himself a bitter grumble from her. He felt so bad waking her up, but he knew they had to talk before the other two boys arose.

“Auby….” He grinned warmly at her as she grabbed one of the decorative pillows from Basil’s sofa to cover her face.

“Fuck. Off.” She sleepily hissed. Typical Aubrey, refusing to wake up and spitting out curses to avoid it. Kel rolled his eyes and nudged her, Aubrey immediately rolling over to get away from the man trying to ruin her sleep. Kel carefully laid down in the empty space she created and outstretched an arm.

“C’mere,” He spoke quietly, lightly tapping Aubrey’s shoulder. She peaked one of her crystal blue eyes open and slightly moved the pillow from her face so she could see what Kel was doing, a blush covering her cheeks the moment she saw he was laying next to her.

“Kel— What the fuck.” She growled.

“Can you shut up and stop being difficult for just a second?” He laughed out. Aubrey gave a half grin. Their relationship was so unique in comparison to every other relationship Kel had in his life. He was usually very positive and uplifting all the time. But even as a kid, him and Aubrey bickered like their lives depended on it. “Just come here.” He urged. Aubrey hesitated before giving in, rolling over and nuzzling her face against Kel’s armpit as she got cozy with his arm around her shoulders.

“I’m not difficult.” She breathed out a huff, surprised by the discovery of how NOT disgusting Kel smelled. “Deodorant today, I see. I like the flair.” She teased, Kel holding back what would have been a loud laugh that would definitely wake the other boys up.

“I thought i’d shake things up today.” He chuckled out, wrapping his other arm around her. He didn’t expect to come in and lay down with her like this and he knew if his mom saw them that she would lose her mind, but it felt nice.

Aubrey absolutely wasn’t expecting it either, and she had had no idea just how badly she needed this until she felt his muscular arms squeeze around her. Her head rested against his chest, her arm slung across his torso when she noticed her vision getting cloudy after a moment of lying there with him.

And then her cheeks felt wet.

And her thin pale fingers gripped onto Kel’s shirt tightly as if she was terrified he was going to go somewhere. She had no idea how badly she just needed to be held until it was happening and she couldn’t help the tears that dropped down her delicate face.

Kel didn’t catch on to what was happening until he heard the second sniffle that came from the girl. “Hey…” He began, eyes looking down her carefully. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?” He asked, worried he upset her somehow. But that question just wanted to make her cry more. Kel had never done anything wrong. Not to anyone. He didn’t deserve to think for even a second that he had done something.

“No.” She whimpered out. She hated feeling so vulnerable, but she trusted Kel. “I just… i haven’t had a hug…y’know, like this…in a really long time.” She admitted.

Kel didn’t know what to say. He felt like he was always always hugging people. His brother, Sunny, cute girls at school. Anyone really. He couldn’t imagine not knowing the last time he had a hug, physical touch was definitely his love language. But he was happy to be here for Aubrey. She was the most special to him.

The two spent the morning before Sunny and Basil awoke trying to plan a schedule. Kel would sleep over at Sunny’s on week days and Aubrey would sleep over at Basils on the nights Polly had to work. Weekends they would all sleep over together. It felt like the safest option. They both wondered how it would work around their parents, as Kel knew he would have to sneak around to watch Sunny. Hero still had no idea Kel was speaking to them again and he honestly wanted to keep it that way. It wasn’t going to be easy AT ALL, but the idea of Sunny and Basil hurting each other scared him a lot. Sunny had almost died before. The memory of them finding Basil with the shears inside Sunny’s face forced its way into Kel’s mind and he squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to get rid of it. He would never forget how fast Aubrey was to run over and drag Basil to the ground, punching him hard across his face over and over in an attempt to defend Sunny. Kel would never forgive himself for being frozen in fear in that moment while Hero picked Sunny up from off the ground. Kel wanted to be the superhero. He couldn’t take that back, but he could do his best to avoid it happening again.

Kel listened to Aubrey talk about how freaked out it made her to see Basil all worked up the way he was and how Sunny appeared to not have a care in the world. It was like he completely shut down. Kel thought for a moment before he suggested Sunny may have been having a hard time coping if it reminded him of the fight with Basil that caused them to both get so injured. Aubrey agreed. It was very traumatic and they both knew Sunny shut down anytime he was around something triggering. They just wanted the boys to get better.

——

School started in just a few days. Today was Friday and they had only been separating Sunny and Basil for a couple nights but it seemed to be working out well. Kel was sneaking out at midnight every night to go over to Sunny’s and he would sneak over a left over plate of whatever they had for dinner that night with him to give to his friend. He also brought him over notebooks and other school supplies he might need to be ready for classes on Monday.

Kel was there for him for every anxiety attack he faced and was trying to help talk him through his feelings and he learned that Sunny had a huge fear of walking past Mari’s locker at school. He didn’t want to see someone else using it and he didn’t want to have a new reminder of her. He was comfortable with and used to seeing all the reminders around his home, he had gotten used to those. But all the memories at school would just be too much. He was just glad Hero wouldn’t be there this time. He was glad he wouldn’t have to see any of her friends either as they’re all in university.

Kel promised that him or Aubrey would walk him between classes so he wouldn’t have to see it all alone. “Maybe you’ll have classes with Basil and he can walk with you.” He suggested with a playful smile, Sunny blushing at the thought of Basil walking him to class. He had really missed seeing him the last couple nights. They had gotten in a nice routine of falling asleep on the couch watching movies together since neither of them liked being alone, and now Sunny just sat in his lonely house waiting for Kel to come over at midnight. He understood why Kel and Aubrey didn’t want him and Basil alone for right now, but it was really hard for them to be apart. They were like magnets, desperate to be together. But just as much as they needed the other one, they just as easily pushed apart from each other. Sunny wouldn’t tell anyone else, but he was a little scared of Basil when he was manic. When he raises his voice and talks fast and walks back and forth and talks to people Sunny can’t see he gets anxious. Mostly because it triggers his own thoughts of lack of self worth and his previous suicidal ideation. He isn’t scared of Basil hurting him, he is scared of getting sucked back into a bad place again. He was finally living outside of his mind and was experiencing life again and he wanted to enjoy it. He wanted him and Basil to be good together. Since he hadn’t spoken to Basil almost at all since the separation, his mind had way too much time to worry about if Basil was mad at him. He remembered Basil crying because Sunny wouldn’t look at him during his episode. He didn’t offer to hold him or try telling him any comforting words. He was too busy fighting away the negative thoughts his mind was forcing him to think.

He and Basil had just started texting each other tonight though, Basil immediately admitting how much he missed Sunny and wanted to see him again soon. Sunny felt relieved that Basil didn’t hate him. He felt guilty for not helping him. Sunny had no idea why the fuck he didn’t just get up and hold him. He just knew that for some reason, he couldn’t move from his spot in the ground. He was scared of Basil. But he still wished he had been there for him.

Over at Basils house, Aubrey was struggling. Basil was clearly still very skeptical of her and she was easily annoyed. She was annoyed by how he misted the leaves on all his plants in the house (ALL the leaves) and she was annoyed by house he had to check on all the locks in the house 5 times before he could lay down to sleep. She was especially annoyed that he only listened to classical music. She hated the piano. And she hated pretending like all these things didn’t piss her off to no end about staying with Basil.

She knew he wasn’t exactly doing anything wrong. Aubrey knew that SHE was the impatient one. But she felt like she just had so much more patience for Sunny.

>> we have to switch tomorrow.

She texted Kel while Basil was in the bathroom brushing his teeth before bed.

>> what’s wrong?

Aubrey was surprised by the quick reply. Usually Kel kept himself pretty busy. She really was happy that he was there right now.

>> if i hear one more piano cover of a random pop song i’m going to freak the fuck out

Kel grinned at his phone as he read the message, just sitting on Sunny’s bedroom floor next to him as he labeled all his note books he will need for school on Monday.

>> it isn’t that bad and you know it. but you love piano! what’s the problem?

Aubrey scrunched up her nose reading the words.

>> i liked when Mari and Sunny played the piano. and they don’t play anymore so i don’t like it.

It took a few minutes before she got a reply back from Kel.

>>what if i played piano?

Kel smiled while sending the text, eagerly awaiting her reply. He stared at the screen as a bubble appeared on screen saying she was typing.

>>you don’t have a musical bone in your body. but if you played piano, kelsey, it would be my favorite sound.

———

The weekend went by faster than they could have imagined and today was their first day of senior year. Hero had taken another semester off from school for his mental health so part of Kel did worry about leaving him alone so much while he is there, but he was also glad school was starting so he could get a small break.

Kel snuck into his house just after 6am, sleep still in his eyes. he tip-toed up the stairs and into his bedroom. Kel wasn’t there. Shit. He had to know that Kel snuck out then.

Kel threw on his uniform quickly and ran his fingers through his hair to attempt to make it look orderly. After he was dressed he made his way downstairs where he saw Hero already sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal. Why is he awake if he has no school today?

“You’re up early.” Hero smirked at him, stuffing a spoon full of cereal into his mouth. Kel stood in the doorway just staring at him for a moment.

“I could say the same thing to you…” Kel spoke skeptically, Hero chuckling at his words.

“Touché.” Hero laughed out. Kel stepped fully into the room and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. Why was he being so weird?!

“You-uh…go over to Aubrey’s last night?” Hero finally asked, Kel’s eyes widening.

“No!” He quickly defended, realizing immediately he should have tried to play that off better. Hero can’t know he went over to see Sunny! It was good he thought it was Aubrey.

“Don’t lie! My brothers got game, huh!” Hero teased Kel, the younger boys face burning red. He was embarrassed to even lie about this but he knew he had to.

“I only went over for a little bit. Was no big deal.” Kel shrugged, his brother immediately wolf whistling at him. He rolled his eyes

“Shut up,” He laughed out as Hero nodded, agreeing to leave his poor brother alone.

“Okay okay, no more about that. But aren’t you excited! It’s your last basketball season,” Hero chirped at him from the dining room table as Kel pouring the juice in his glass. God Kel was glad he let the Aubrey thing go.

“Not if i make a college team!” Kel beamed. He really wasn’t sure if that was even what he wanted to do. He wasn’t sure he would make the team anyway. He knew when the try outs were but he wasn’t sure what he would do if he tried out and didn’t make the cut. He hadn’t decided yet if he was ready to take that risk.

“I already know you will.” Hero smiled at his younger brother, eyes shining with pride. He knew that sometimes his brothers achievements were hidden by his own in their parents eyes, but Hero was always so proud of his brother. “You’re going to kill it, Kel. And you’ll do even better with Aubrey there cheering for you instead of throwing stuff at you!” He laughed, Kel grimacing at the thought.

“Ouch, thanks for the reminder.” He rolled his eyes before downing his glass of orange juice.

He said his good byes to his brother and headed out the door and going straight to Sunny’s house where he had just left from an hour before so he could “safely” sneak back into his house. So much for that.

Sunny didn’t come outside after the first few knocks, causing Kel to worry slightly. He pushed open the door, finding Sunny pacing back and forth in the large empty room that was once their living room.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Kel frowned, walking closer. Sunny’s eye shot up and met Kel’s, forcing Kel to see the boys extremely stressed expression. “Hey hey hey… Sunny, what’s wrong?” He rushed out, quickly running over to his side.

Sunny looked frantic and his hair was messy and his uniform was wrinkled and way too big on him now. That was what started the problems.

“Nothing fits me anymore. I don’t know why. Even with the stupid belt these pants won’t stay up.” He rambled out, hands holding the uniform pants up over his hips.

“That’s easy, i can ask my mom to get you new pants, or we can check the lost and found at school and see if there is a smaller pair there. Just get through today, okay?” He smiled, Sunny just chewing at his lip out of frustration.

“Is that the only thing you’re upset about?” Kel questioned, Sunny softly shaking his head.

“I don’t…” He couldn’t figure out how to word his thoughts exactly. He hesitated before continuing. “i don’t know.” He knew it was obvious that something more was happening.

“Talk to me, dude! Let me help.” Kel urged, Sunny’s eye focused on the floor in front of him.

“My eye.” He whispered, feeling so stupid for talking about it. “Everyone is going to see that something is wrong.” He spoke, voice almost monotone if it weren’t for the stressed undertones.

Kel felt a pang of pain go right to his heart. Of course he would be upset about that, anyone would be. He hadn’t seen any of these kinds from school since right after Mari had died, of course they hadn’t see. him since the accident last month.

“And i’m scared everyone….knows.” He could barely get the words out. He felt disgusting even talking about his feelings but Kel was the only person i to he world he felt like could help him with this problem. Basil would hug him and tell him it would be okay, which was nice. But that wasn’t like how Kel helps him see a new perspective.

“If anyone says anything to you about it, tell me.” He spoke in a tone Sunny had never heard from him before. It was so serious and stern. Sunny got goosebumps at the sound of him. It was like Kel wouldn’t let anyone be mean to him and in that moment he could see why Aubrey was falling for him if he always made her feel that safe. Sunny knew he couldn’t blame her for choosing Kel, he was the better option.

Sunny just nodded in understanding, but he still didn’t feel ready for school. Kel helped him finish getting ready and led him out the door, hoping that today wouldn’t be too hard on any of them.

While they crossed the street going towards the school, Kel could see Aubrey and Basil walking near each other down on the block over. But not next to each other. Maybe Basil was annoying her extra that morning. Kel’s face originally had lit up seeing Aubrey, but it contorted into a strange look of confusion upon seeing Basil walking a few feet behind her.

“Aubrey!” He shouted, waving his arms over at her to get her attention. He watched as she looked up in their direction and barely lifted her arm up to wave before she kept going down the street she was on.

Kel’s smile fell when she didn’t come over to walk with them. “Hey! Come walk with us!” He shouted again, Aubrey just staring at him for a moment this time before carrying on.

How fucking weird.

Eventually Kel and Sunny made it to school, finding Basil sitting at a table by myself outside with an extremely anxious look on his face. The moment Kel and Sunny came into his line of view, Basil stood up and ran over into Sunny’s arms. The black haired boy wrapped his arms around Basil tightly, really feeling like he needed him right now. All their old classmates were all around them and they were both freaking out. Sunny felt like everyone was already staring at his eye.

“Heya Basil.” Kel smiled wide. “What’s with Aubrey? She wouldn’t come over to walk with us.” He frowned. Basil pulled away from the embrace with Sunny to shrug carefully at Kel’s question. “She was being weird while we got ready this morning… then on the way to school she started walking faster without me. I think maybe I upset her or something.” Basil gave a nervous smile, hoping to play off how sad the thought of being annoying made him feel.

Kel shook his head and walked with the boys go go find their class schedules. “No way you upset her, Basil. Don’t sweat it.” That earned a sweet smile from Basil.

After comparing their times tables, Kel discovered he didn’t have any classes with either of them besides home room. They both qualified for the advanced classes and Kel was very much in the average classes.

“Aw man! You guys aren’t even in gym?!” He complained, looking up at the two skinny boys in front of him. They both just looked at each other before shaking their heads. “I have photography… a-and Sunny has art” Basil read, looking between the papers in their hands. Kel wished he knew what classes he had with Aubrey.

Kel went through talk the classes in his first half of the day, looking around for Aubrey, hoping he would see her sitting at a desk in a classroom as he walked in. No luck.

Finally at his lunch period, he saw Aubrey walking down the hall with a junior student he knew to be named Kim, along with a few of her other friends.

Kel knew Kim was the root of most the the bullying Aubrey delivered. She was always instigating. But Kel wasn’t too worried about her. He smiled and made his way over to the gorgeous pink haired girl he had gotten very familiar with this summer.

The moment he came into their line of view, Kim scoffed at him. “Ugh, back UP Kel! I can smell you from over here.” She dramatically complained. Kel frowned at the words before convincing himself it was just a joke. He laughed along with her and looked up to Aubrey. “Ha. Ha. Very funny. For real, where have you been?” Kel smiled at Aubrey, but she didn’t look up in his direction at all. Her eyes stayed focused on the ground.

“For real. Leave her alone.” Kim growled at him, confusion fully taking over Kel.

“Aubrey can you just tell her to stop? It’s not that funny.” He tried, unsure why she was being like this.

No response. Her eyes stayed glued to the floor.

“Are you serious, Aubrey?” He asked, hurt in his voice. Everything had been going so great, why would she be acting different now at school?

“She wants you to fuck off.” Kim pushed past him, annoyed that Kel was still even there.

“Is that true?“ He asked Aubrey seriously, hoping she would just admit all of this was just a stupid joke.

Instead, she bumps into Kel’s shoulder while walking past him to catch up with Kim.

Chapter Text

Kel walked in the doors of his 6th period class where he saw Aubrey seated in the back corner of the room all alone. He wanted to go say hi and just talk to her the way they have been the last couple weeks, but he noticed how she refused to let herself even look in his direction. Kel had no idea what had changed… but he assumed she just needed some space while she figured it out. He would be impatiently waiting, but he knew he could wait.

Kel really did want space for just a small moment too. He couldn’t believe she just shoved past him earlier in the day. Two mornings ago they were cuddled up on Basil’s sofa together, Aubrey crying because she loved being so close to him. He couldn’t help himself but to wonder if Kim said something to her that upset her. Did she say something about how weird Kel was?

His eyes quickly scanned around the room for a seat close to Aubrey, but the only one left was in the opposite back corner from her. He sighed under his breath, deciding it didn’t really matter anyway. She wasn’t going to speak to him. But still he wanted to be there just in case she decided to stop being so weird.

The tall teen threw his bag onto his desk loudly and sat down, attempting to make his emotions clear to the short girl. Aubrey didn’t so much as look his way. It felt like a terrible defeat for Kel.

After the long english class was finally over, Kel watched as Aubrey grabbed her bag and was quickly storming out of the classroom and down the halls. Kel couldn’t have rolled his eyes harder. This felt like the old Aubrey. Nothing like the Aubrey he had come to swoon over. He couldn’t help but feel like he had somehow done something wrong. He would take it back in a heart beat. Multiple girls had already tried talking to him today simply for being on the basketball team, but Aubrey was the only girl he was thinking about. She didn’t care about him being on the basketball team or anything stupid like that. Kel thought she just liked him for himself, that’s why made her so cool. It hurt him to think she didn’t even like him.

Kel gathered his items and made his way through the school, stopping by his locker to put his books in it before he went to find Sunny to walk home with him. He was just shutting his locker closed as he heard a loud commotion coming from outside. Kids ran past him trying to see what was happening behind the huge crowd outside. Curiosity got the best of him as he twisted the lock on his locker and made his way towards the door, pushing it open to see the large crowed around two people. He almost immediately saw the pink haired girl that had been stuck in his mind in the middle of the crowd. Of course. First day back at school and she’s ignoring her friends and now in a fight. Kel stepped closer only to see her reach her arms out and shove someone away from her. He quickly started pushing past the other kids to attempt to pull Aubrey back, when he saw who she had pushed to the ground.

Kel’s eyes widened and he immediately switched gears, running to the small, blonde haired teenagers side. Kel was pissed. This went just way too far.

“Jesus, Aubrey! What the hell happened to you?” He spat out, eyes quickly scanning the blonde boy to make sure he wasn’t injured. “Basil never does anything to anyone!” He grabbed Basil’s hand and pulled him back up to his feet. He glanced up to see Sunny standing close by like he had been trying to build up the courage to step in and say something. Kel was so mad Aubrey did this to them. What was the point of the last couple weeks then? What was the point of trying to help them if she was just going to turn her back on everyone?

Kel felt his eyes stinging like he was going to cry, so he quickly rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand before draping his arm around Sunny’s shoulder. “Come on, Basil.” He spoke softly, leading his friends away from the crowd. He wanted to yell and scream at her, but he couldn’t. He didn’t even know what exactly he would say.

Aubrey’s other friends gathered around here, scoffing at how weird Basil was for approaching her. They all laughed and made jokes and high fived, Aubrey not able to bring herself to smile back with them.

“What the fuck is wrong with him!” Kim exclaimed, Vance laughing with her.

“Are you going to walk me home today, Aubrey?!” Vance mocked Basil with a high pitched, girly sounding voice. “Like, why would he even ask that? What a freak.”

Aubrey was embarrassed for it all. She felt awful for shoving Basil away like that. Everyone saw it happen, too, the whole school! She was so disappointed with herself. All the progress she was making with her old friends was just gone all because she didn’t want to look bad in front of her new friends. She didn’t want them to see her with Kel. Even though she really did like him and he treated her really well…for some reason the idea of her friends knowing she was with him felt embarrassing. They were very brutal with their opinions and she knew how they felt about Kel. That hated anyone on the schools sports teams just for being jocks and they hated Kel specifically because they couldn’t stand how loud he was and how he could make a friend out of anyone. Aubrey loved the last thing about him.

Basil had just run up to Aubrey at the end of the school day, unsure if she was feeling better and if she wanted to come back to his house. He had shyly approached her group of friends and tapped on her shoulder, asking if she wanted to come with him. She had at first ignored him, causing him to just stand there awkwardly. She got frustrated and embarrassed by him being there and told him to leave but that had just made him even more confused. Sunny had come over and Aubrey got more anxious about her friends finding out about their friendship and she got rougher. Before she knew it, Basil was on the ground and Kel was running over.

God, she fucked things up this time. She couldn’t stand herself for letting it get that far. But at least her friends didn’t think anything was up with her. They still liked her.

——————

Kel walked the boys back to Basil’s house at a fast pace, not because he was exactly trying to get home faster but because he truly just wanted to get his friends away from the school.

His heart was aching. Aubrey was supposed to be HELPING them. He felt like it was fine if she didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore, but he didn’t think there was any reason for her to treat Basil like that. He was glad she didn’t try to do anything to Sunny, because Kel was sure he would have lost his temper at her for that.

Kel prided himself on always staying level headed and positive even in tough situations, but he was struggling to not rant out obscenities towards Aubrey at the moment. He was even more upset because there is no one else in the world he wants to vent about this to than his brother. But his brother had no idea what was happening. Kel couldn’t just throw all this at him with no warning or explanation. The only other person Kel would want to vent to was…well…Aubrey herself.

Which was also not an option.

Kel led his friends into Basil’s house and watched as Sunny automatically went to the kitchen to grab the first aid kit. Kel was confused before watching as he put a couple bandages on the palms of Basil’s hands that caught his fall and got scraped up. He noticed the blush that crept onto Basil’s soft white cheeks as Sunny cared for him and it was like something in his brain FINALLY clicked.

Basil was totally into Sunny. Everything made sense now! He couldn’t understand the attachment the two had to each other at all before now. Kel knew that he personally cared deeply for Sunny, but it was like Basil couldn’t breathe without Sunny’s approval. He seemed to seek Sunny’s validation like it was a drug. It was bizarre until now, realizing it was a different feeling completely. He felt like an idiot, he forgot that a dude liking another dude could even be an option. He wondered now if Sunny had feelings back for Basil and if all his jealously over Aubrey was just completely wasted energy.

Regardless, seeing how Sunny cleaned the others hands and places a soft kiss on his knuckles when he was done was probably the cutest thing Kel had ever seen. He bit back the urge to question them about his observation.

They eventually sat down and listened to Basil’s side of the fight, unable to piece together what may have happened. None of them could figure out what happened. She was supposed to help with walking Sunny to class to make sure he would be okay if he saw something triggering. Did she not even care anymore?

Kel stayed with them for another 30 minutes before he stood up with a sigh. “I need to go back to my house for a bit, okay? I just have to check in. Will you guys be okay until I come back tonight?” He asked cautiously, not wanting to leave them alone but knowing he had no choice. The boys nodded, Basil giving a smile in an attempt to convince him it will be okay. He wanted to be trusted to not freak out again. He wanted to be better. He planned on talking with Polly about therapy the moment she came home from work.

“We will be good!” Basil insisted. “I’ll start some dinner.” He spoke towards Sunny before standing up. Kel grinned back and gave him a thumbs up before grabbing his bag and making his way home.

When he walked in his front door, his whole family was already home. Hero was in the living room playing Call of Duty loudly and Sally played on the floor next to him. His mother was in the kitchen already working on their dinner. He walked past Hero, hoping to get to talk to his mom about his situation first.

His mom usually gave really good advice. She could have strong opinions about people and things and she often cracks under pressure, but she always gave fair advice. “Hey mom…?” He began, stepping into the kitchen with her. Kel’s mom turned around and offered him a gentle smile.

“Yes, baby?” She spoke sweetly, eyes looking over her sons face. “What’s wrong?” She asked with worry dripping from her voice, immediately noticing how distraught he looked.

Kel sighed and took a seat at the dining room table. “It’s…a lot.” He mumbled, his mothers attention already peaked.

“Well, you have to spit it out now!” She chuckled, Kel sighing dramatically as if he wasn’t the one to approach her first.

“Don’t tell anyone…okay? Especially not Hero.”

Kel left out a lot of details to the story including the sneaking out and the seeing Aubrey late at night stuff. He did explain the trying to help Sunny and Basil out stuff, but his mothers reaction was hard to read. She was silent, but her hands became slightly shakey and he could see the tears building up in her eyes. She had been so focused on making sure Hero was getting better she hadn’t even considered Sunny all alone in that house wasting away. Seeing Sunny used to always brighten up her day and knowing so much had happened to him hurt her. She gave Kel the money to get Sunny a new uniform from school, hoping that would even begin to help. She told Kel if there was anything else she could do to help, to tell her. Of course he couldn’t just ask for permission to sleep over there every night, she would never go for that. It was better she didn’t know his plans to sneak out.

“There is another thing going on now though.” He told his mom, laying his head down on the table exhaustedly. He didn’t want to tell his mom about Aubrey freaking out today. He knew his mom already didn’t love the pink haired girl and he didn’t want to make it worse but he couldn’t talk to anyone else about it.

“Aubrey….got in a fight with Basil today. She ignored all of us all day then when Basil asked her to walk home with him, she shoved him away. I just…have no idea what’s is going on. She seemed like her old self i used to know again and now she’s back to who she’s been since…y’know, Mari.” Kel vented to her, watching as she came over and sat down with him.

“She was just alone all day ignoring you?” She questioned, also feeling confused as to why she would be that way.

“Yeah! Well- actually, no.” Kel back tracked, head resting on the backs of his arms. “She has this group of friends. Honestly, i feel like they bring out the worst in her. They’re just a bunch of—“ Kel had to stop himself from calling them assholes in front of his mother. He could get away with swearing in some situations but there was no way this would could as one of those times. “—Hooligans. They’re awful.”

His mom listened carefully and nodded. “Do you think she’s acting up just to impress them? It sounds like she doesn’t think she can be friends with both groups and she is scared of rejection from them.” She spoke softly. He hated that a girl was making her son feel so down, but she knew this was part of life.

Kel considered that for a moment before shrugging. “If that’s true, that is really mean.” He frowned. Aubrey wouldn’t do that, would she? She doesn’t have to humiliate them just to get a laugh out of her other friends. I guess that IS what she used to do to them anyway… but he couldn’t imagine her being that way now after they have been through so much together.

His mom stood up and kissed his head and went back to making dinner. “Girls can be really mean, mijo. I’m sorry. Hopefully she has a reason for it all.” She sighed. “I am almost done with dinner, wash up and grab your brother so we can eat. After we are done I want you to go bring that boy a plate of food, okay?” She insisted, Kel feeling relieved to have a reason to go back over to Basil’s and check on them.

Kel shoveled his dinner into his mouth quickly, everyone just staring at him with wide eyes as he cleared the plate before anyone else had a chance to take more than a few bites. He jumped up from his seat and downed his glass of water before grabbing the tupperware box of food his mother had packed from the kitchen counter.

“Bringing your girlfriend dinner?” Hero teased with a wink, causing Kel to grip the box tighter. He wished he could just tell him. GOD he wished he could just talk about it all. But he can’t.

“Shut up. Have you even called Jessica yet?” Kel smirked back, Hero dramatically grabbing his chest as if a sword has just impaled him.

“Ouch! Low blow, Kel. I swear i’ll call her soon!” Hero tried to defend himself. Kel just shook his head with a small laugh and left his house to bring the food over to Basil’s house.

The walk over there felt like it went on forever with no end in sight. He couldn’t help but be nervous of how he would find the two boys.

He finally saw Basil’s house down the street and picked up his pace to get there, anxiety building up inside him. As he got closer to the house, he noticed another person walking towards him on the sidewalk. His teeth gritted when he recognized who it was.

“Why are you here?” Kel spat roughly.

Chapter Text

Aubrey stood frozen on the sidewalk, staring back at Kel. She didn’t expect to just bump into him here, she genuinely thought she could slip in and check on Basil quickly then run back home without anyone else seeing her. She had no idea what she could even say to Kel. She didnnt come prepared to have to explain herself. She just stood there staring at him with a deer in headlights expression stuck on her face.

She wanted to take everything back. Every mean thing she said to Basil and she wanted to go back in time and walk with them to school. But he couldn’t. And deep down she knew that even if she was given the opportunity to go back and change that, she wouldn’t. He fear of losing her other friends was just way too great.

“Well?” Kel questioned, voice cold towards her. He didn’t sound like himself. Even when he would play mad with her, his voice was always softer. If she was only ignoring him, he probably would have been sweet as can be and begging her to talk to him after not seeing her all day. But what happened with Basil was awful. He wouldn’t be backing down easily this time.

Aubrey nervously fiddled with her fingers silently, unable to find the right words. She watched as Kel suddenly rolled his eyes and took a step towards the house and up the first step. He didn’t want to play games about this right now. He wanted to check on his friends and ensure they’re doing okay.

“Wait!” Aubrey finally spoke up, her blue eyes gazing anywhere but to Kel’s face. She couldn’t just watch Kel slip away that easily. She needed him.

Kel stopped walking and turned back to her. “What is it?” He sounded hurt. Aubrey hated herself.

“Please…don’t hate me.” She begged. Her eyes finally glanced up to meet Kel’s. He knew he wanted to forgive her right away and find out what happened and ask how he can fix it. He wasn’t sure he could though. For Basil he couldn’t. He had to make it clear that when he said he would stand up for his friends, that meant to anyone. Even a girl he really fucking liked. Sunny and Basil had to come first right now. No matter how pretty and kissable Aubrey looked.

“Aubrey… What happened?” He questioned, actively refusing to let himself walk over to her and pull her into his arms. And god was that hard to do.

The girl shook her head and looked down. “Nothing happened. I just… those are my friends. I trust them more than anyone else in the world.” She blurted out, unable to look at him anymore. She wasn’t sure what was happening right now but it didn’t feel right. “I wish I could be friends with everyone but I just can’t.” She felt like she was in an impossible situation. Kim was a really good friend to her and she was always there when she needed someone. On top of that, Kim’s parents were the ones who stepped up when they found out Aubrey’s mom wasn’t treating her right and gave her somewhere to stay. She felt like she couldn’t risk losing that relationship by letting Kim find out about her old friends. “I’m sorry.” She sighed.

Kel was stunned. “So what does that mean?” He really didn’t expect to hear any of this from her. He expected to have spent today hanging out with Basil and Sunny and showing Aubrey off to his friends. Now she was saying they can’t even be friends?

“It means I can’t hang out with you anymore. I need to focus on my friendships and on myself and I can’t do that with you following me around.” She told him gently, but her heart felt like it was breaking.

“Are you breaking up with me?” He asked quietly, hands gripping tightly onto the plastic box holding the meal he was supposed to deliver hot to Sunny. He couldn’t tell if that’s what was happening or not. Why else would she say they can’t hang out anymore?

Aubrey mouth fell open slightly and a confused scoff left her mouth. “We aren’t dating. You never asked me or anything…” She replied, looking back down the road in the direction her house was in. She felt like she should go. She felt like she was making everything so much worse. All she wanted was to be with Kel and she was just sabotaging it all. She wasn’t even sure WHY she was doing it. She was just scared of her other friends turning on her. It felt wrong saying that to him. She knew friends didn’t kiss each other at parks under the stars or look at each other the way Kel looked at her. But she had to say SOMETHING to let go of Kel.

“Are you serious?” Kel asked through gritted teeth. His chest hurt at her words and he just wanted to go home. “Has this all just been a game to you, Aubrey?! Because this was real to me!” He raised his voice before realizing what he was doing. He wasnt going to sit here and yell at a girl for not liking him. He would never do that.

“Never mind. Don’t answer that. Just tell me what you are doing here so I can get in there and check on them.” He spoke with a low, defeated tone. A sad frown was plastered on Aubrey’s face. This wasn’t what she wanted. She was scared Kel would never forgive her for this.

“It’s my day to watch him. I was going to check on him.” She said quietly, feeling stupid now that she’s said it out loud. She cared about all of them so much. But her survival was very important too. She just didn’t want to have to admit that.

“So you care enough about him to come check in on him but not to walk him home like you promised? Not just that! But to shove him to the ground just for asking?” Kel grumbled out.

“You don’t understand, Kel!”

“So explain it to me!” He shouted back. He felt like she was making everything so difficult. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Aubrey. I don’t want to stop seeing you. I want us to work through whatever is going on. I just… i like you a lot.” He admitted to her softly, hoping it would win her over. “I’m giving you my all.”

Instead, her eyes just teared up and she shoved her hands into her jacket pockets. “I like you too, Kel... But we can’t.” She told him between sniffles.

“Is it because of your other friends? Are we just not cool enough to be seen with you at school?” Kel accused, causing a small sob to leave Aubrey’s throat.

“It doesn’t matter.” She cried out. Kel couldn’t take this. His heart hurt so fucking back. He set the container of food down on the porch steps and stepped closer to her.

“Can I at least still see you outside of school?” He asked softly, hand reaching over to grab hers. He knew screaming and yelling wouldn’t get his way. He didn’t want to yell at her. He wanted to convince her she shouldn’t go. “Please? Anything. You never have to say another word to me in front of anyone again, just please don’t go.”

She bit at her pink bottom lip and looked up into his caramel colored eyes. How did she get so lucky as to have found Kel? She tries to dump him and push him away and he offers to be a secret just because he wants to be with her so bad. She knew she didn’t deserve him. But still, she couldn’t help herself. After a moment of thinking, she slowly nodded her head, intertwining their fingers. “I can still come over at nights and be with them and—” She began, Kel immediately shaking his head.

“No.” He spoke seriously. “If you’re not 100% their friend, you have to leave them alone. That isn’t fair to them.” He told her, breathing hitching slightly. He had so badly wanted the whole group back together. He wanted to get Hero back in the group too. He wanted to be like before. And it was clear that couldn’t happen until Aubrey stopped caring what other people thought about her. “If you love them, you need to show them that. And if not, you need to let them recover.”

Aubrey’s lip quivered slightly at his words. She wanted to be there for them so badly. She didn’t want to leave Sunny. It felt unfair she couldn’t just see them at night away from school. “Kel, you can’t do it all yourself“

“And they can’t have their feelings played with.” He argued with her. He knew he was volunteering to have his own feelings toyed with, but it felt worth it to him to still be around her. He was the one that felt selfish for asking her to still see him in secret.

She felt so ashamed. “I really love you guys.” She whimpered out, squeezing Kel’s hand.

“So why are you doing this to us? We want to be there for you. It’s not too late. Tell me never mind and we can act like this all never happened. We can go inside and watch a movie or play a game or something. We can all walk to school together in the morning. Just tell me you take all this back.” Kel begged her. He looked at her hopefully, his hands shaking slightly in his bigger ones.

She silently weighed the pros and cons in her mind and decided that to protect herself she had to pick The Hooligans. She loved them all so much, but Aubrey wasn’t sure what she would do if Kim turned on her. “I’m sorry.” she simply replied.

Kel felt broken by those two simple words. After a moment of silence he nodded and dropped her colder hand from his own. He couldn’t remember his hand ever feeling so empty. He slowly took a step back and picked up the box of food before he made his way up the porch steps. He turned around once to meet their eyes a final time. Her ocean eyes looked so broken and Kel wished he could fix them. But unfortunately he knew Aubrey was the only one that could do that. He offered her a small half smile before opening the door and stepping inside.

As he closed the door, he immediately saw Sunny and Basil standing right in front of the door like they had been listening. Kel frowned at the sight, as he was planning on acting like nothing happened. He didn’t want them to have to worry about it. He smiled weakly at them and let out a nervous chuckle. “You guys heard all that, huh?” Kel asked cautiously. Basil nodded his head softly.

“You and Aubrey broke up?” He asked, feeling awful as if he was the reason for it. Basil wished he hadn’t approached Aubrey at all and maybe everything would still be okay.

Kel shrugged his shoulders. “She will come around. I think it’s about her other friends. She feels like she has to pick between us and won’t listen when I told her she can have both. Just give her some space and she should come around, okay?”

——————

Last night was one of the most stressful nights Kel had had in too long. Basil and Sunny both were struggling a lot with the loss from their group. Sunny felt like he was really leaning on Aubrey when it came to going back to school and now that he couldn’t talk to her, he felt like he couldn’t do it. He was up all night with mini panic attacks while Basil was having a difficult time trusting that Kel and Sunny weren’t going to leave him again. He had just began trusting Aubrey when she changed her mind.

Kel had to wake up unbelievably early to sneak back into his house and get ready before anyone else woke up and by the time he got Sunny and Basil to school, he was ready to pass out. Tuesday was the try outs day for incoming freshman to join the basketball team so he knew he would have to be at school even later to judge that and suddenly he just felt like skipping all together.

But he stayed and dragged his feet walking to every class that day. He had helped Sunny figure out a route through school that completely avoids Mari’s locker so at least he knew Sunny could be able to walk by himself if Kel couldn’t meet up with him for whatever reason.

Finally, 6th period arrived and he knew he would be forced to see Aubrey. He wasn’t even sure what to say to her but he was suddenly extremely grateful he couldn’t find a seat close to her the day before.

He walked in the room and didn’t let his eyes even check to see if Aubrey was there. He walked in and plopped down in the same seat from yesterday, immediately laying his head down on the desk. He had already slept through every class that day and was fully prepared to add another class to that list.

After a few minutes of laying there, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He sleepily reached into his pocket and held his phone under the desk, peaking down to see who it was that was texting him.

>> who knew someone could look so good while sleeping?

Kel’s face scrunched slightly at the words, immediately turning his head to see Aubrey smiling in his direction before quickly turning her head back towards the front of the classroom.

>> you know your mood swings are kinda giving me whiplash.

He replied quickly, unable to help the small laugh at his own Twilight reference. He knew Aubrey secretly loved those movies and thought she may get a kick out of the comment. He wanted to be mad at her but he knew he could never stay mad.

>> i only said it would be better if we weren’t friends. not that i don’t want to be. if you were smart, you would stay away from me.

And in true Aubrey fashion, a Twilight quote back. He had to bite back a laugh, looking back up in her directed to see her giggling at her phone. Kel couldn’t help himself.

>> well let’s say for arguments sake that i’m not smart?

>>unfortunately for you, kelsey, that’s definitely no argument.

>>ouch! how you pain me like no other…

They were both smiling messes by the end of the exchange, both looking up at the same time to lock soft eyes at each other. Kel wanted this to be their every day. He wanted to laugh with her and just be happy with her every day. It fucking sucked ass that he couldn’t. Why couldn’t he? Why couldn’t Aubrey just let them be happy?

Before he knew it, the end of class bell was chiming and he wanted nothing more to grab Aubrey’s hand and leave class with her. But he knew she would be humiliated. That brought a small frown to his face. He wished being seen with him wasn’t an embarrassing thing. He wanted that to be exciting. He felt like there were other girls at school who would be proud to show him off to their friends. Part of him wished he wanted any of them. But all of him wanted Aubrey. That’s just the way it was.

Chapter Text

The next few days were fine as far as Kel was concerned. Aubrey had been ignoring Sunny and Basil all around, which Kel knew broke their hearts. Sunny especially. Kel and Basil could both tell Sunny had seemed much more restless and on edge since Aubrey ditched them. He wouldn’t admit it, but ever since that day he stopped eating so much and he woke up more at night. It was like all the progress that had made was for nothing. They were back at square one.

Basil wished he could cheer his sweet Sunny up even just a little bit, but nothing seemed to help. It was like a piece of him was missing again. Everyday Basil wanted nothing more than to just yell and scream at Aubrey for betraying Sunny’s trust and doing this to him. They had learned that she still spoke to Kel even though he doesn’t admit it to them, and that alone bothered Sunny a lot. Sunny had seen Kel’s phone alert him of a text from her and he noticed how Kel grabbed it a little too quick, face smiling at the message. It felt unfair. Sunny didn’t know what he did to make her hate him and Basil.

They then noticed how Aubrey dodged even Kel at school, they couldn’t figure out why she would text him so often. Was she just avoiding him at school so that Sunny and Basil wouldn’t find out?

But that didn’t really matter too much. The point was, Sunny wished she would just text HIM. He wished she would even just give him a reason she didn’t like them anymore.

He missed her so fucking much. But she was Kel’s. Kel made her happy and that was supposed to make Sunny happy…right? He wanted to be happy for them, Kel was his best friend and as his best friend he should be happy for him. But it was hard.

He couldn’t exactly tell who he felt more jealous of at times. When Kel thought the younger two boys were asleep, Sunny could hear Kel on the phone with her late at night. Sometimes in those moments, he wished he had his best friends attention instead of her. He wished Kel would give him the one on one attention. Other times he couldn’t help but wish she would give up on Kel and would just call him instead.

Then Sunny sees sweet Basil and the guilt begins chewing at him again. Sunny felt selfish. Greedy and awful. He wanted everyone to adore him. He didn’t want to lose anyone, but it appeared to him that he had already lost Aubrey. He had no idea what he did wrong. He was so confused about his feelings for everyone. Basil felt like someone that would always be there, no matter what happens. Kel felt like a soft security blanket that would never fail to keep him safe. And Aubrey felt like the girl next door. But this girl next door just happened to be the one that got away.

And if Sunny ever found out that was mostly Kel’s fault…

Kel truly thought he was protecting his friends. Aubrey clearly didn’t know what she wanted and she wasn’t being a great friend to them and Kel had to stop her every day from showing up to see them. Every day she asked Kel if she could just come by and check on them for a minute and every day he told her only if she was going to stop hiding them all from her other friends.

She still couldn’t agree.

Kel’s heart hurt every time she refused. He wanted her to not be embarrassed of him. He felt self conscious and sometimes kind of weird that she was so embarrassed to be seen around him. He told himself he would do the best he could this season with basketball. He swore to himself he would work out every day and do everything he could to make himself into something she could be proud of.

One night after that vow, Kel had been up almost all night doing push-ups and sit ups in the bathroom on the floor in an attempt to make his arms bigger. The night after that he spent an hour staring at himself in the mirror trying to figure out what about him exactly was so bad.

He adored Aubrey and he did his best to listen to her when she said she thought he was attractive, but he just couldn’t help but not feel good enough for her. Not when she would look away from him every time their eyes met.

It was now Thursday night and Kel had to made the decision to stay home all night for the first time all week. He had been sneaking out every other night this week to keep an eye on Sunny and Basil, but Polly would be off work that night and Kel needed a day to rest. He was honestly looking forward to it. He missed being around his brother and he was a little bit over sneaking out at a time in the night that he usually liked to be asleep at.

He spent an hour after school that day outside playing some 1v1 with Hero, absolutely creaming him the entire time. Kel was proud of himself for finally winning at something against his brother, though he knew it wasn’t exactly fair when basketball was something Kel did every day. However, Kel accepted his wins and let himself feel accomplished for once.

“Kel…” Hero panted, completely out of breath. All of Heros hobbies could be done inside the house with little to no physical activity required. But he loved spending this time with his little brother so even though he felt like his lungs were on fire, he did his best to keep up. “I was NOT made to move around like this.” Hero complained, Kel just smirked at him, throwing the basketball at the older siblings chest.

“Gotta get your head in the game, Henry!” He snort laughed, Hero immediately tossing the ball back to Kel. Hero’s hands dropped onto his thighs and he bent over in order to catch his breath.

“Please, I can’t do this anymore.” Hero begged, Kel nodding with another laugh.

“Whatever, wimp.” Kel chuckled. They finally went inside, Hero chugging a huge glass of water. Kel wiped the sweat from his own forehead with the back of his arm and picked his phone up from the kitchen counter where he left it and smiled fondly when he saw who had texted him.

>> I feel like every time I see you now you’re all sweaty.

His cheeks suddenly felt warm and he glanced out the window quickly. He felt sort of silly for that as she obviously had just been passing by and wasn’t just standing there looking into his house.

>>were you spying on me or something?

Kel chewed gently at the inside of his cheek as he replied back to her. He hoped she could tell how hard he was trying to get himself into good shape.

>>you wish! me and kim were walking to the hangout spot by the lake and saw you and hero. as for the other times i see you, it isn’t my fault that every day you run past my window.

Kel felt his cheeks heat up as he read the words. He didn’t EXACTLY go down her street on his morning runs just so she would see him. It was more that he was hoping to see her, even if for just a second in passing. It felt nice that she had noticed him though.

>>you could see me not sweaty if you hung out with me at school you know. not too late!

Kel was half joking as he sent the text, hoping she would suddenly decide to take him up on it.

>>ha ha. you’re funny. you’re usually sweaty at school too

Kel’s whole face burned red at the words. Maybe that’s why she was embarrassed of him? He was sweaty? He had gym 5th period right before his class with her and he had practice immediately after school, that wasn’t his fault! Was him working out so much actually pushing her away? He had no idea how to win in this situation.

>>so is that why you don’t want to be seen with me? lol

Kel felt like a self conscious little kid asking her that, but he felt like he was killing himself this week trying to make himself into who she wanted and it didn’t seem to be working.

>>kel :/ i don’t NOT want to be seen with you… everything is just complicated

Kel rolled his eyes at the text and Hero finally caught on that something was going on.

“Trouble in paradise?” The older of the two teased his little brother, earning a frustrated groan from Kel.

“It’s nothing.” Kel huffed, really not wanting to have to share his insecurities with his perfect older brother. Hero definitely had no experience in this, he was always being fawned over. Mari was the first girl that Hero actually had to chase but once he had her she was just as smitten for him.

“Well now I know something is wrong.” Hero pouted at him, wondering what could be bothering Kel so much.

“Am I ugly?” Kel suddenly blurted out. “Or, like, fat? Weird?” His eyes looked pained and his hands were both suddenly balled into fists, right hand squeezing his phone tightly. “Be honest, don’t lie because you’re my brother.”

Hero hadn’t ever heard Kel say anything like this before and definitely had never heard him so desperate. Kel had never really cared about his appearance, and he has always been extremely athletic so Hero couldn’t fathom why he would ask if he was fat now. He was definitely at his most physically fit now and his once child-like baby face was maturing well. Kel wasn’t unattractive by any means.

“What are you talking about? We share the same blood, of course you’re not ugly.” Hero tried to joke, seeing Kel only give a half smile back. Hero could tell something was really beating his brother up. “And you work out every day. If you feel big, it’s probably because your muscle.” The older brother tried to reassure him. “Why would you ask that?”

Kel felt really awkward asking his brother this stuff. Hero was always so confident and he was sure Hero never questioned his own appearance. He had never been without a girlfriend, every time he had one she clung to him like her life depended on it. He was sure he had never been rejected like this.

“It’s stupid.” Kel huffed, frustration hanging in his voice. He turned to leave the room, wanting to just forget about this. Hero grabbed his arm firmly to stop him and pulled him back. He never got the chance to be there for his brother, Kel was always too busy trying to hold Hero together. He didn’t want to lose this chance to be there for him.

“Hey, talk to me? It’s not stupid to me.” Hero told him gently, Kel looking to the ground for a moment like he was considering it. He finally nodded and let out the heavy breath he had been holding in.

“Aubrey won’t talk to me at school. Like at all. If she sees me in the halls, she completely looks away from me. She pretends to completely hate me. But then she texts me and tells me i’m cute or something. But it’s like she’s embarrassed to be seen with me! I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.” Kel vented, feeling like a complete idiot.

He finally looked up to Hero, seeing a small smile one his face like he knew something Kel didn’t. “What?” He grumbled at his brother, in this moment feeling very annoyed by his smile.

“Kel, you’re surprised Aubrey is being difficult?” He asked sincerely. “She spent years telling her friends how much she can’t stand you. She has formed a reputation around pretending to hate you, it’s probably just a taking a lot of courage to tell her friends she actually has a crush on you!” He told him with a grin. “Aubrey has always been difficult. But she likes you. You should make a gesture. Not like what you’ve done for girls in the past where you asked them out at one of your games. She might fight you for that. But…plan something special for her. Show her you want her and you want to be there for her. That’ll win her over.”

Kel couldn’t help but smile as his eyes lit up, an idea coming to mind. “You’re right. I think I know something to do. Thanks Hero.” He spoke confidently, feeling better now that he heard his brothers thoughts.

Hero was right. It didn’t really matter how nice Aubrey had been over the summer, she was still Aubrey. She will never just hand herself over to someone easily, Kel knew he had to impress her and earn her. He knew what to do. After this, she will know Kel is serious about her and she will want to be around him all the time!

The next morning, Kel woke up with a wave of anxiety rushing over him as he realized he wasn’t on the sofa next to his friends. He hoped everything was okay without him there. To make everything worse, he had completely slept through his alarm and second period was about to start. He immediately panicked and jumped up from his bed. He picked up his uniform from the day before up from the floor and threw on his body and rushed out the door, knowing Sunny and Basil had to of walked to school all alone. He reminded himself that Polly had been home all night and definitely made sure they were up and out the door. That brought him a little more peace of mind.

Kel ran to school with the worst case of bed head anyone had ever seen and slipped into his second period class. He sat at his desk and did his best to pet his hair down, hoping no one would pay him too much mind. Usually he was begging for attention to be on him, but not today. He was so embarrassed with himself today. He hoped to have time to make himself specifically look GOOD today. He wondered if he could just get through today without actually seeing Aubrey. He usually hated to skip class, but not showing up to his final period of the day was looking better and better.

Sunny’s day wasn’t looking much better than Kel’s. He and Basil got up on time and walked to school together, but it was really tough not having any classes with him. Basil was in all of the advanced classes and Sunny was barely following along in the 11th grade math class he was placed in to attempt to catch up. Sunny was embarrassed being in a class with a bunch of kids a grade below him, but the fact that no one knew him made it easier.

Well… no one but Aubrey’s friend Kim.

On the first day of class when he saw her sitting in the back corner he had truly hoped she didn’t recognize him, but he could always see her looking at him and could hear his name being whispered to her friends. He always spent that class embarrassed out of his mind. As if being in a class meant for the grade below him hasn’t humiliating enough, having Kim there talking about him just made him want to properly drop out. It seemed dramatic, but at times he really wanted to just drop out and ask his mom to come pick him up and bring him back to her new house far away from anyone who knows him.

But he promised his friends he would keep trying. He promised Basil that they would get through this together. And now he was hurting because Aubrey promised they would get through this last painful school year together. So much for that.

Today seemed worse than the other days this week when it came to Kim’s whispers. Sunny felt like he couldn’t even focus on the lesson. This felt like his own personally hell, hearing his name being whispered so quietly and having no idea the words that followed it.

The moment the bell rang to say his math class was over, Sunny quickly grabbed his bag and stood up to his feet. He had to get out and get away. He needed to find Basil so he could fucking calm down. Sunny could feel his heart racing with anxiety after hearing his name whispered way too many times for one day.

While walking out of the classroom, he heard it again.

“I can’t believe it, did you hear what Kim said about him…? I can’t believe they still let him around other people.”

Sunny froze. What? That couldn’t be about him…could it? What did Kim know about him and what could she be saying? Suddenly his knees felt jelly as he began trying to resume stepping out of the class. He had barely gotten down the hall when Kim and a couple of her friends came up behind Sunny.

“Where ya goin’ freak?” Kim taunted him, Sunny immediately picking up his pace. He just had to get to Basil and he would be safe. In his mind, everything would just stop and be okay again the moment he had Basil in his arms. Unfortunately for him, it appeared Kim was making it her personal mission to ensure that Sunny couldn’t get to him. It was as if she could read his thoughts.

Kim immediately reached out and grabbed the back of his shirt, forcing him to come to a stop and she pulled him towards her. Sunny tensed up, trying to get out of her grasp.

Sunny was quite a few inches taller than her, but he was just so frail she was easily able to pull him back. He quickly twisted his body, forcing himself free from her grasp.

Aubrey and her friend Mikhael had just rounded the corner where they spotted Kim and Vance next to…Sunny? Confusion washed over Aubrey as she tried to figure out why they would be speaking to each other. She started towards them down the hall.

“Leave me alone.” Sunny spoke plainly towards her, doing his best to disguise any anxiety he was feeling. He balled his hands into fists as she took a threatening step closer.

“Or what?” She taunted back, taking a second step closer towards him. “What are you gonna do if I don’t leave you alone? Huh? You gonna hit me?” She began raising her voice, a small crowd beginning to gather.

Aubrey could tell from even that far down the hall how scared Sunny looked. Why was he even anywhere near her, this made no sense. She started to regret ditching them and never finding out the boys schedules.

“You gonna…kill me?” She spoke in a more hushed tone, venom seeping from her smooth voice. “Huh, Sunny? If i don’t leave you alone are you just going to kill me? Like you killed Mari?” Kim sounded like a monster, she didn’t sound human to Sunny. He almost thought it was the horrible voice in his head saying this to him, he couldn’t believe this was real life. And she said it in front of so many people…

Sunny’s ears began to ring loudly and it felt as if time froze. Kim wasn’t supposed to know anything. How the fuck did she know anything about that. Who told her? And who the fuck has she told? Does everyone know? These questions circulated through his mind and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. Hearing his sisters name spoken in such an evil way felt disgusting to him. It was wrong. No one should be saying her name. Sunny didn’t even speak so casually of her, how could someone else?

He had no idea how long he just stood there as his vision clouded and all he saw was darkness. He felt light headed like he was about to pass out.

Aubrey had almost reached them when he heard the awful words her friend spat at Sunny. She couldn’t believe Kim would say that to him, she was almost convinced that had to have been someone else. Kim wouldn’t say that! She had told Kim about the truth of Mari’s death the night she left the hospital as she had no one else in the world to talk to about it and she made Kim promise to never tell anyone else. She trusted her to keep the secret. She needed to vent, she never wanted anyone to be mean to Sunny. Kim was supposed to keep the secret!

Without even a second of hesitation, Aubrey watched as Sunny’s hands suddenly grabbed Kim’s shoulders and shoved her hard. Kim stumbled back and fell to the ground, Sunny immediately throwing himself on top of her, fists balling again and crashing down against her face. The crowd around them seemed to quadruple in seconds and Aubrey found herself shoving past people in an attempt to stop this.

“Sunny!” Aubrey shouted, doing her best to make her way to them. It felt hopeless, the crowd was just getting bigger and bigger and everyone was trying to push to the front to record a video of it.

“Sunny, please stop!” She yelled again, desperately shoving past the kids around her.

But Sunny didn’t stop. His fists continued crashing into Kim’s face as hot tears began to flood down his cheeks. His face remained emotionless and his eyes continued to leak. It was like the boy wasn’t in control over himself, Aubrey knew what had to be going on inside Sunny’s head to get him to the point of fighting back. He had to be truly suffering if he was fighting someone. She couldn’t blame him. Even hearing those words spoken towards Sunny made her blood boil.

By the time Aubrey had gotten to them, she found Sunny with his small hands roughly gripping Kim’s short hair as he repeatedly shoved her head into the hard ground. Kim begged for him to stop, tears pouring from her eyes from the pain. Sunny had broke her glasses and the sharp broken plastic from the frames had begun scraping up her face causing small beads of blood to rise to the surface. That mixed with the pain of the punches made the assault almost unbearable.

Aubrey stood almost frozen when she saw them, trying to figure out who she was supposed to help. But before she could put even a second more thought into it, her hands were wrapping around Sunny’s torso as she pulled him off of her and away from the center of the crowd. She threw him onto the floor and fell down with him, immediately grabbing him into her arms.

She knew her reputation would be hurting for this, but she couldn’t imagine a world where she went and comforted Kim after she said that to Sunny. How dare she speak about Mari that way?!

Sunny melted into Aubrey’s arms, his head dropping onto her shoulder. His fat tears wet her shoulder and neck as he silently sobbed into her shoulder. He was heart broken. And humiliated. And now extremely depressed.

Basil and Kel suddenly appeared, having quickly got word that Sunny was beating the shit out of Kim. They almost couldn’t believe it until they saw Aubrey holding Sunny against her chest in a tight embrace with the large crowd around them beginning to dissipate.

They both felt conflicted at the sight. Kel wasn’t sure how to feel about Aubrey holding Sunny so tightly, but then he felt guilty for letting himself think for a second this was more than friendly. Something serious had to of happened if Aubrey was picking Sunny over Kim.

But again, he couldn’t help but feel a strange pang of jealousy. Sunny was the one that got her to break away from Kim. Not him.

Regardless of his anxieties, he helped Basil push past people and get to their friend. When Basil caught up to them, he dropped to the floor and immediately grabbed onto Sunny’s soft, fragile arm. Basil didn’t want him anywhere near Aubrey. He didn’t trust her at all and don’t want her to have the chance to hurt Sunny again. He didn’t want to even risk it.

Sunny immediately recognized the gentle touch of his Flower boy and he without a second thought rolled from Aubrey’s arms directly into Basil’s. The blonde boy held him tightly, eyes glaring at Aubrey despite not truly knowing what had happened yet.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” Vance shouted at Sunny as he cried, helping Kim up to her feet. “And you, Aubrey! What the fuck was that?!” He growled, unable to grasp why Aubrey defended him. She immediately stormed over to Kim and got in her face.

“You broke a promise that was EXTREMELY important to me that you kept. How can you look at him and say something so fucked up? Mari was my best fucking friend and you will not speak about her brother like that.” Aubrey was fuming. Spit flew from her mouth as she screamed in Kim’s face.
“Sunny loved her more than anything in this fucking world and you won’t speak so lowly of her!” Aubrey shouted at her friend, her voice shaking fiercely.

Kim looked shocked, like she never would have expected Aubrey to defend him. ESPECIALLY him over her. “You’re the one who says every day what a freak he is! How fucked up Kel and Basil are for even being friends with him. Now you are defending him?” Kim sounded disgusted.

Kel’s eyes shot up towards them, unable to believe what he just heard. Basil had clearly caught that too, squeezing Sunny into a tighter hug in an attempt to distract him from the words being said. Basil’s heart hurt at the words, but he knew it would hurt Kel and Sunny worse.

“I never said that.” Aubrey argued through clenched teeth, her face bright red with anger. She couldn’t handle this. This was her worst fear. Pissing Kim off and her revealing everything.

“Bullshit! You just said yesterday how annoying it was that Kel texts you so much when I saw he texted your phone!” Kim argued back. Aubrey felt like she could cry right then. It felt like she was doing this on purpose just to hurt her. Like she knew what she was doing to Kel. Why would Kim do this to her? Even if it was the truth, she was just saying it to hurt them. It wasn’t right.

Aubrey turned around and locked eyes with Kel who was standing close to his friends in defense of them. Sunny was still silently crying into his boyfriends arms and Kel wanted to just disappear. It seemed like every time he started to get in a good place with Aubrey, something else happened. He looked sternly into Aubrey’s eyes, refusing to let them show any sadness. He was hurt and heartbroken, but she didn’t deserve to see him cry over her. Not if that was the truth and she really said that.

Aubrey turned back to Kim and shook her head. “Kim, stop.” She begged. “Please just stop.” She couldn’t take it anymore. She was going to lose everyone and she was terrified.

“Stop acting like you’re perfect, Aubrey! We only talk about them because you did first. Everything we say about them are things you told us first!”

That one stung all three of them.

Sunny knew in that moment Aubrey was the one to call him a murderer first.

Basil knew Aubrey was the one to call him a creep and a freak first.

And Kel knew Aubrey was the one to call him ugly and weird and annoying first. She was the one to say he sucked at basketball first. Everything awful Kim and the rest of the Hooligans have said towards him came from Aubrey herself first.

It was Aubrey’s fault.

Chapter Text

Kel stared hard at Aubrey while attempting to figure out his next move. Sunny desperately needed to get out of school and away from this crowd for the rest of the day and Kel took mental note of how Basil was doing a great job consoling poor, distraught Sunny.

“Kim, shut the fuck up.” Aubrey hissed back at her friend. She couldn’t believe this was happening. “I have said awful things before, yes, but I NEVER would have said this! You took this way too far, Kim.” Aubrey argued before turning back to Kel. The eyes that once looked at her with sure adoration were now cold and sharp. Like just looking at her was an inconvenience for him. He looked pissed.

The moment the tan teen made eye contact with Aubrey, he quickly turned away from her. He took a step closer to Sunny and Basil and squatted down next to where they were still sat on the floor together.

“Basil, can you bring Sunny back to your house for the day? I’ll be there as soon as I can be.” Kel spoke quietly to him, hoping to make himself only heard by Basil. He didn’t want Aubrey or her gang to know where they could find the vulnerable boys. Kel placed a large hand on Sunny’s head, feeling his tangled black hair as he stroked it gently with his thumb. He was really hurting for Sunny. He had no idea what had happened to set Sunny off that way but he wouldn’t stand for it.

Basil gently nodded and quickly rose to his feet, helping Sunny up. Kel stood up too and pulled Sunny in for a quick tight hug. “I’ll be there soon, okay? Don’t even sweat it.” He whispered reassuringly into his best friends ear, causing chills to run down Sunny’s arms. He nodded and hugged Kel back before letting go and grabbing onto Basils waiting hand. Basil quickly led the other boy away from the others and down the hall, Kel only turning back to Aubrey and Kim when they were out of ear shot.

He had no idea where to even begin. It was like everything he had heard yelled at him in the last few years felt extremely personal and real. Aubrey just stared back at him with desperate eyes, taking a small step towards him. They were both silent for way too long.

“Kel…I didn’t mean it when I said it.” Aubrey finally spoke up, Kel suddenly laughing at her words. How stupid did she think he was? To be fair, Kel would have believed it before. He would have believed she was just being typical rough around the edges Aubrey. But this was all too much.

“It’s funny how it went from never happening to you just didn’t mean it.” Kel spat back at her. He was tired of being mad. He wanted to just let go. He wanted to let go of everything and just move on. But it was so hard when just that morning he was thinking about how to ask her out properly. How to show her his feelings and ask her to confess her own to him.

“Look I—“ He began, trying to gather his thoughts again. Kel felt so confused and disoriented. He had planned to take her on such a special date that night just for it to be all thrown in his face. He felt like an absolute idiot. “I don’t know what was said to Sunny. But I do know he didn’t act like that over nothing.” He told her seriously. He knew Sunny wouldn’t just do that for the hell of it. He was generally weak and very fragile, it would have taken a huge burst of adrenaline for him to get the strength to actually fight Kim. Both emotional AND physical strength. “And I don’t know what you have said about me or about them to your friends, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Just do us the favor of leaving our names out of your mouth for now on? Sunny doesn’t deserve that and neither does Basil. They’re good people and they always put everyone else before themselves. And as for me? I promise, you won’t get another annoying text from me. I get the hint now. Im sorry I didn’t catch on sooner.”

There were so many more things he felt like he had needed to say to her, but he didn’t want to lecture her. He wanted to say as little as possible and just get out of there. He wanted to reveal to everyone that she was usually the one to text him first, but it wasn’t worth it.

“I don’t even know who you are, Aubrey.” He mumbled at her. He held a soft eye contact with her for what felt like the longest 10 seconds of their lives before finally shaking his head and turning to walk away.

“Kel, wait.” She began, taking another step closer. “Please wait. This is all just a huge misunderstanding.” She tried to beg him. He didn’t want to hear her out. He didn’t want to buy into anymore lame excuses.

He heavily considered replying to her and hearing her out before ultimately deciding against it. He took in a sharp breath and made his way down the corridor away from the girl he loved.

Aubrey could feel the tears begging to leak from her eyes, her nose stinging like she was about to fully cry. But she quickly blinked the tears away and whipped around to face Kim.

Kim. This was her fault. If she had just kept her mouth shut, Kel wouldn’t hate her and Sunny wouldn’t be having a melt down.

“What is wrong with you?” Aubrey suddenly hissed at Kim. “Why was there ANY reason to say that to him?!” She just couldn’t figure out what Sunny could do to compel Kim to say that to him. Sunny was always so quiet and shy and he didn’t interact with anyone at all. He was a hermit who stayed to himself during all of his classes. He was just trying to make it through the school day in one piece. This was definitely worst case scenario for the boy who was already struggling with school.

“For YOU, Aubrey!” She shouted back at her pink haired friend. “You just say all the time how they won’t leave you alone and…and honestly I was getting really nervous.” Kim admitted to her finally. “You kept saying Sunny was following you around and I was just scared of what he could do to you.” Kim told her, loud voice softening ever so slightly as she spoke.

“He is like 90 pounds, Kim. What the fuck could he do to me?” Aubrey scoffed at her, causing Kim to furrow her eyebrows. She held out her hand that held her broken glasses and sighed.

“Aside from him breaking my glasses by punching my FACE… do you not remember when he threatened you? With an actual knife?!” Kim reminded, grinding her teeth together. She couldn’t understand why Aubrey was so mad at her. She was only trying to keep her safe. “He is dangerous, Aubrey. You seemed really uncomfortable from what you were telling us and I just wanted to help to get him to leave you alone…”

Aubrey was forced down a few levels. Kim really was just trying to look out for her. She was only trying to be a good friend to the people she loved. Aubrey suddenly realized that it was her own lying that dragged everyone into this mess. If she had just admitted her friendship with Sunny on that first day of school instead of covering up the truth with the lie of Sunny stalking her none of this would have happened. Everything would be okay. Somehow that lie got contorted into Aubrey saying Basil and Kel were guilty by association and it just stuck. She felt like a huge idiot. She wished she could take back everything she had said to Kim about her other friends. She so badly just wanted to start that week over new and just tell Kim the truth from the beginning. She wished she could go back and walk Basil home from school in that first day.

But now they all hated her. None of them will ever be speaking to her again more than likely all because she refused to tell the truth. She ruined everything.

“I— Thank you.” Aubrey whispered out. She felt helpless. Kim wasn’t actually bad, she was just defending Aubrey. She THOUGHT Aubrey needed back up. She had no idea she just destroyed the hearts of three guys closest to Aubrey.

“You’re welcome.” Kim huffed, looking at Aubrey carefully. She was glad it was appearing as though Aubrey was coming through to her senses. “Why did you defend him so hard anyway?” Kim asked quietly, scared to know the answer. This was all so out of character for Aubrey.

Aubrey knew deep down she had to just reveal the truth. However, she knew she lost her chance with those friends but it seemed like she hadn’t lost Kim yet. Maybe she could just avoid admitting the truth until she knew she hadn’t completely fucked up with Kel and Sunny?

Aubrey cringed at that thought. She didn’t know what she was going to do without those three boys she cared so deeply about. She was also terrified of not admitting it now and just getting herself into an even worse situation later.

“I care because…Sunny is Mari’s brother. No matter how weird he may seem, he is Sunny. Whenever I miss Mari a little extra, all i have to do is look at him. I can’t lose that.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie. That was a true statement about him, but that wasn’t why she defended him. She knew she had to get past this mental barrier. Kim had to know why what she did was awful.

“Sunny used to be my best friend. I think…i think i’ll probably always have a soft spot for him. I know I have said awful things about him, but he is a good person.” She spoke sincerely, hands gripping onto the bottom of her jacket tightly. This was so humiliating.

“And Basil isn’t that weird. He is shy and cares a lot about his friends. He is weird, but in a good way.” Aubrey continued, freezing up when she realizes she needs to defend Kel. This is what she was most anxious about for some reason. Admitting her relationship with Kel seemed impossible, especially now that she knew he had left her. She wanted to reveal it so badly…but she couldn’t.

“I’m… sure that if Sunny and Basil like Kel then he can’t be that bad.”

Aubrey wanted to punch herself. ‘That’s the best you can do?!’ She internally screamed at herself.

Kim looked skeptical over everything being said. None of it made sense. She couldn’t comprehend why Aubrey was being like this now.

“Aubrey, what is going on with you? You have always hated them. I have never heard you speak a kind word about them and now you’re sticking up for them. What has changed?” She asked with a soft confused voice. “This all changed, like, over night.”

Aubrey gritted her teeth, considering all the possible responses she could say. But nothing felt right. She didn’t know how to say any of this.

“Just…hearing you say that about Mari hurt.” She spoke gently. “I just can’t believe you would say that.” Aubrey’s voice quivered. After a moment of silence Aubrey saw as a few teachers rushed over to start shooing kids away and make them get to class. She was trying to avoid getting into anymore trouble, so she quickly picked up her bag and began down the hall towards the front doors of the school without another word to Kim. She couldn’t be around Kim for another second, she needed to go see Sunny or Kel. Both, probably.

Aubrey ran over to Basil’s house as quick as she could, in this moment not caring if anyone from school saw whose house she was approaching. What mattered was that no one was planning to do anything stupid or reckless. She finally approached the driveway, jumping up the front porch steps and anxiously rapping her knuckles against the wooden door.

No response.

“Hey— guys… I know you’re in there. Please open the door.” Aubrey begged them. She knew they all had to be in there and she just wanted to make everything right. She was so nervous at the thought of Sunny curled up on the sofa in a puddle of depression. She wanted to be there.

Still no response from her friends.

Aubrey kept knocking and ringing the doorbell for a couple minutes, hoping they would let her in if she just annoyed them enough. She just kept knocking until finally she heard the door unlocked and watched as it began to open. About time!

But when the door opened, a sleepy looking Polly was all that was in front of her. She looked…frustrated. And exhausted. Aubrey suddenly felt really bad for knocking so much, she must have woken her up.

“Hi Polly, I’m sorry for waking you!” She quickly apologized, feeling suddenly very frazzled. She expected Kel to come get the door. “Are Basil and they guys here?”

“Aubrey,” Polly spoke with a groggy voice. She wasn’t her usual chipper self. “Basil isn’t wanting to see anyone right now.” She told her, trying to not reveal that the other boys were over.

Polly really had no idea what was going on but she had awaken just minutes before to the loud sounds of the boys piling in the door and consoling the emotionally distraught Sunny. Polly had only woken up just after Kel had learned what exactly had been said to Sunny. Kel’s blood boiled at what he heard. He wanted to personally get up and go find Kim. If he had know that that is what was said in the beginning, there would have been no fucking way he want leaving without a fight. Kel never dreamed of hurting anyone, especially not a girl almost a good shorter than him, but this was a special case.

When they heard the door, Kel begged Polly to make Aubrey leave. None of them wanted to be around her right now.

“I think you should probably go home.” Polly said with a gentle tone. Aubrey stood there stunned that even Polly was already pushing her away. Polly had always been so understanding and reassuring before. She used to thank her every morning for staying with Basil while she was at work. Where did that Polly go? Without another thought, the women slowly closed the front door in Aubrey’s face and locked it behind her.

When Polly walked back away from the door, Kel and Basil were both looking up at her with small frowns. It hurt them to push her away when she wanted to make up, but they couldn’t handle seeing her right now.

“I don’t want to know.” Polly sighed. She had been skeptical of Aubrey in the past but had just started warming up again. She thought Aubrey could be a really really good person for Basil to be around. Polly had been so thankful to have Aubrey there watching over Basil in the last few weeks, it really helped her out a lot. So naturally it hurt her that whatever happened, happened. “But was it bad?” She questioned with a sympathetic look. Sunny was laying on the sofa with a tear stained face, head resting in Kel’s lap. She really did love seeing how much the teenage boys cared for each other. She especially loved that they were there for
Basil. It was amazing seeing people care about him as much as she did.

Sunny’s legs rested in Basil’s lap and Basil happily rubbed the palm of his hand against Sunny’s thin calf to help soothe him. He was just happy Sunny was no longer sobbing or even crying at this point. He was just quietly laying with them. This would have been really nice under any other circumstances.

“Well, it wasn’t good.” Kel spoke up, Basil nodding gently. They weren’t sure how much they should say to Polly or how much they should bring up around Sunny. There was a good chance it would all just hurt Sunny more to hear it all over again. “You sure you don’t want to know?” Kel asked curiously. He knew that he personally would be dying to know what was going on.

“When you guys are ready, tell me then.” She gave a soft smile. She was always so understanding. She didn’t need to know everything that was going on, she was just there to make sure they were safe.

Polly shortly after went back upstairs to start getting ready for work and the teenagers remained slumped against the sofa.

It was silent for so long before the finally decided to talk. Kel admitted his secret relationship with Aubrey to the others and briefly told them about the anxiety he had been having surrounding not feeling good enough for her. He told them about how his fears felt confirmed by what Kim had said. He felt like an idiot.

Almost as soon as Kel started to vent, he forced himself to shut up. Sunny was definitely feeling the worst. They all knew it would be impossible getting Sunny to go back to school now.

“How are you feeling, Sunshine?” Kel spoke with a weak smile. He knew Sunny always liked it when Aubrey had called him that, maybe it would make him feel better to hear it coming from someone else. Kel’s hand was rested on Sunny’s forehead, gently petting the hair out of his best friends face. Kel glanced over to Basil who didn’t seem to mind sharing Sunny in that moment. Sometimes Kel was just very comforting. Basil had no doubts of Sunny’s feelings, so there was no reason to feel jealous in anyway.

Sunny’s one healthy eye glanced up to meet Kel’s two beautiful, chocolate brown ones. They looked so full of care but so concerned. Sunny felt bad for being the reason they look so worried.

“I don’t want to go back to school.” Sunny spoke quietly, earning a half chuckle from Kel. He was confused why that was funny though.

“I don’t blame you! Today was…a lot. If you want to stay home, I’m not going to make you go.” Kel decided. Sunny was honestly surprised by his reaction.

“No- Sunny has to keep going!” Basil finally chimed in. “It is really important that you go. You can’t just let them shove you around. We can meet with the counselors and ask about moving you to a different class so you don’t have to see any of them.” Basil was doing his best to convince them. He was usually painfully passive, but he believed that furthering his education was important and Basil knew Mari would be so disappointed if Sunny just gave up. She would want to see him finish school.

Sunny squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to listen to Basil. It wasn’t fair to be pushed towards continuing his education at a place like that. “I can’t go back there. Aubrey told everyone.” The words were thick like syrup, they felt impossible to get out. He felt sick at the thought. “And now Kim has told so many other people… I just… I can’t go back”

Basil had a disappointed pout on his face that confused both Sunny and Kel. They weren’t sure why he was so insistent on Sunny going back, it seemed abnormal for Basil to push so hard for anything.

While it was true that Basil knew it’s what amari would have wanted for her younger brother, the real truth was that Basil wasn’t sure if he could handle finishing the year for himself without Sunny there. He was finally able to focus on his assignments and he didn’t feel so scared walking around school. He knew Sunny was always just down the hall from him.

“We can get through it together, Sunny. Please don’t give up.” Basil begged softly. Sunny didn’t seem convinced. He simply ignored his boyfriends pleas and stared up at the ceiling.

They didn’t get too much farther into the conversation, they just vented more about Aubrey and how they were going to deal with that situation. But that conversation didn’t get far either.

A firm knock suddenly came from the door and Kel rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe she’s already back.” He huffed, Basil scooting closer to the edge of the sofa.

“S-should I go get Polly? Have her tell her to leave again?” Basil offered, hating that Aubrey was harassing them now after causing such a big mess at school.

Kel shook his head, gently lifting Sunny’s shoulders from his lap so he could stand up. “Nah, i’ll tell her to go.” Kel sighed as a louder knock hit Basil’s front door. He was so frustrated with her. He was nervous to be face to face with her, but it wouldn’t be hard to reject her when Sunny was inside curled up on the sofa with dried tear streaks down his cheeks.

Kel grabbed the door knob just as a third round of rough knocks hit the door. He scoffed and quickly pulled the door open, a sharp gasp coming from his throat as he was now face to face with the last person he expected to be standing at Basil’s front door.

“Hero… what are you doing here?” He asked with wide eyes as the dread of what was happening spilled over him.

Chapter Text

Kel stood there, mouth ajar, for what felt like hours. Hero wasn’t supposed to be here. Hero definitely wasn’t supposed to see Kel here. His mind raced with things he could possibly say to explain why exactly he was there but the thought of lying to his brother with some lame made up excuses didn’t sit well with him. He felt guilty enough over the fact he had been lying to him for so long about it, Kel didn’t think there was really any way he could get away with lying now as he literally stood in the door way to Basil’s house.

Kel expected yelling. He expected Hero to shove him away the moment he saw him. But that never came. Kel was growing too anxious to continue waiting for Hero to speak. The silence was deafening. His hands felt clammy and cold.

“Hero…what are you—“ Kel began, only for his older brothers voice to sharply cut him off.

“Are you okay?” Hero’s voice sounded shaky and unsure, his eyes looked wet like warm tears were just moments away from spilling over. Kel’s stomach felt sick like he was about to hurl from the guilt as his sibling caught him befriending the boys who had caused Hero so much pain.

The question took Kel by surprise, his eyes opening wide. Out of all the questions in the world that could be asked by him in this situation, this wasn’t one Kel would have even considered. It made no sense. The younger of the two wracked his brain trying to understand what the fuck was happening.

“I’m okay…?” Kel answered but it definitely came out as a question. “Hero, i’m so confused.” Kel’s voice sounded small but he felt even smaller. He felt like a little kid again, scared of being in trouble. Letting down Hero was the worst type of disappointment because if Hero believed in you, he truly trusted you with the world. Knowing you did something to break that was the worst feeling Kel could imagine. “Why are you here?”

Hero let out what seemed to be a sigh of relief, his shoulders finally relaxing and slumping forwards ever so slightly. He hadn’t realized how tense he had been before. “Aubrey came over… she said she was worried about you.” Hero half explained. He left out the painful truth of his meeting with Aubrey where she was so panicked she couldn’t catch her breath. Hero couldn’t even figure out why she was so upset so he was forced to expect the absolute worst. “She told me you were here and asked me to check on you.” He had to leave out the part where she begged Hero to just make sure he was okay.

Kel had no idea how to react to this. Aubrey knew how important keeping this a secret was to him, why would she tell Hero? That was never her secret to tell! Kel wanted to tell Hero when he felt like he would be ready, not on a random Friday afternoon in the middle of the day when they all should have been in classes! Hero was probably so worried… especially coming back to Basils house for what was seeming like another emergency.

“I was scared something bad was happening, she seemed pretty nervous.” Hero face was flushed a pale white like he had seen a ghost, he had been so worried for his brothers safety. He wouldn’t have expected Aubrey to show up to his house as panicked as she was. “What’s going on?” Kel could tell Hero was doing his best to keep composed.

Kel felt like all his words had been stolen from his mind as he stared blankly at his older brother for a moment. He finally came back to reality, gently stepping out through the door, closing it gently behind him so Sunny and Basil wouldn’t have to listen in if Hero lost it at him.

“Do you want the short answer or the long answer?” Kel asked, eyes fixating on the wooden floors of Basil’s front porch. He couldn’t look at Hero, he was far too ashamed for all of this.

“Let’s the the short answer first.” Hero didn’t sound mad though. He sounded concerned and confused. Like he really just wanted to hear Kel out.

Kel let out a shaky breath and tan a hand through his still messy hair. He never really did get to fix it from waking up late this morning. “Well, Aubrey and I broke up.” He spoke bluntly. He supposed that was the best short answer. Everything else was so complex and intricate and he really didn’t want to have to tell Hero everything. He didn’t want to tell him about how he was sneaking out every night to stay with Sunny to make sure him and Basil didn’t murder each other. He didn’t want to tell him about how protective he felt over the smaller teen. He didn’t know how in the world he was going to get through this conversation.

“Does she know that?”

Kel was thrown off by the question. Of course she knew, she was there as Kel learned how Aubrey really felt about him. She was probably just using him as a force of affection, she would have used anyone but Kel was already there. And he already liked her and fell right into her trap. “Of course she knows. She said a lot of things about it that were more than just jokes. She doesn’t actually like me, it’s fine.” Kel felt like he couldn’t be vulnerable, he had to play it off like he didn’t care. But he did. He cared about her so fucking much. Close to as much as he cared about Sunny.

Hero wasn’t convinced by Kel’s words. He knew if Kel had seen the Aubrey he had seen earlier he wouldn’t be saying this either.

Just a half hour earlier Hero opened his front door to a red faced Aubrey with tears already budding in her eyes. She looked at him hard, chewing at the inside of her cheeks like she was thinking. Considering what to say? Hero couldn’t figure out why she would be here in the middle of the day. She should still be in classes right now.

“Aubrey, what’s wrong?” He immediately asked, noticing as her tears spilling over her cheeks at the question. Hero couldn’t remember the last time he had seen her cry but the sight made his heart hurt. Mari’s funeral, probably, was the last time he had seen her let herself be vulnerable enough to cry. But even then, it was just small, gentle tears. No loud sobs, no bright red face. She was composed. She was put together. At least in front of Hero. That time was so different from how as she looked absolutely miserable. She was trying so hard to keep cool, but despite her greatest efforts the tears just kept flowing.

“Hey! Hey… it’s okay.” Hero opened his arms to her right away and as much as she didn’t want to seem like she needed a hug, she gave in and stepped into his arms. Hero would always be an older brother to her. There was no way around it, Hero was the older sibling she always needed. Hero and Mari were always there for her when she needed advice from people older than her. Mari always knew just what to say and Hero was always there to back up her advice. She hadn’t ever come to just Hero for help after Mari had passed so this felt strange yet familiar for her.

“I messed up, Hero. Like, I fucked up. Really really bad.” She cried against his chest. He had no idea what she could have done to work herself up this much.

“I’m sure you didn’t mess up that bad. What happened?” Hero asked her gently, feeling as she began to pull away from the embrace to look up at his dark brown eyes.

“I think Kel needs help.”

Hero’s stomach dropped.

He knew there was no way Aubrey actually felt ill towards Kel. He knew she had lost of issues to work through and she needed A LOT of patience. Hero couldn’t help but feel like his younger brother was perfect with her. He was compassionate and patient and always put others before himself, even if that wasn’t what was best for him. On top of all that, he had a heart like no one else’s. When he loved someone, they were the center of his world. He was just like Hero in that way.

“What did she say?” He finally questioned. He wanted to understand so badly what happened so he could help. Aubrey had refused to explain anything, too embarrassed to admit what had been said. And Kel always just shoved his own problems aside and put in a smile for everyone around him, Hero just wanted to be the big brother that supported him when he needed it.

“To tell you that I have to tell you the long story.” Kel was frustrated with the whole situation. He was so on edge especially with the fact that Hero hadn’t even asked yet what Kel is doing at Basil’s house.

“Im all ears.” Hero urged, stepping back towards the porch steps and taking a seat. He kindly motioned for Kel to come over and sit with him, which he quickly accepted the offer. He was so scared of making Hero mad. He was so scary when he was angry and he knew how to hurt Kel when he wanted to. It was rare that Hero ever lashed out, but the few times it’s happened has been terrifying.

But Kel confided in Hero. He anxiously told him the whole story, starting with finding Sunny half dead in his house a month and a half ago to Aubrey helping him care for the two broken boys and finally ending with Kim revealing what Aubrey has said about them all behind their backs. Hero never got mad the whole time Kel was speaking. He never yelled. He just sat there and listened, taking in every word Kel said to him. He was hurt, very hurt actually. Sunny and Basil appeared to be there for Kel when Hero knew he wasn’t being the best brother, which should have made him appreciative. But part of him was upset by that. He tried his best to be understanding.

“And now… it’s like everything was for nothing. We worked so hard to get Sunny comfortable with going to school again just for all this to happen. Aubrey was the one that told Kim in the first place! She didn’t tell us anyone else knew. And… and knowing she is the one behind everything Kim and their other stupid friends have said about me just hurts. Kim literally said anyone who would be friends with Sunny is a freak” Kel took in a sharp breath, wanting to remain as calm as possible. “And that’s just not true. Sunny is a great friend and he listens and he is reliable. If you need help and you ask Sunny he won’t let you down. He just…is shy. He gets nervous easy. But he’s the best friend i could ask for.” Kel rambled, eyes fixated on the ground his feet were planted on. He wanted to make it clear to Hero that he cared very deeply about his friend and that he wasn’t going to listen to anything negative he may have to say. Sunny didn’t deserve to have anything mean said about him.

Hero was looking away from Kel, just listening. He felt like there wasn’t anything constructive he could say. It hurt him. Sunny hurt him. “Kel…They did a really fucked up thing.” He whispered out. He knew it wasn’t what Kel would want to hear. He KNEW he should be focusing on the Aubrey parts of the story but he couldn’t. He knew Basil had covered for Sunny before and Hero was honestly scared of something else happening and Sunny managing to convince Kel to help cover for him too. “I don’t want to see you get roped up with them. I really don’t.” He finally turned to face his brother, the intense look of worry had never left his features.

“People do bad things all the time, they’re called mistakes.” Kel raised his voice, trying to defend his friends. “That doesn’t make you a bad person!”

Hero felt his jaw suddenly clench. He didn’t want to argue with Kel over this. He didn’t want to be controlling or mean and tell Kel who to be friends with, he just wanted to keep him safe. But hearing those words triggered a flame deep inside Hero he couldn’t help but fan.

“Do you think it was all a mistake?” Hero suddenly asked in a small, sharp voice. The words had a type of venom behind them that Kel couldn’t quite place.

“You think what they did to Mari was just a little mistake?!” Kel could see Hero getting himself worked up. His eyes widened as he tried to figure out how to calm him down before this got out of hand.

“Hero, I didn’t mean it like that—“ Kel attempted to tell him.

“It was a mistake as they carried Mari down the stairs from her bed and dragged her through the living room and out the back door?” Hero was already absorbed in his thought, there was no way to stop the words from coming out. Mari was his soft spot. He would die defending her and hearing Kel, of all people, hint that her death was just a tiny mistake broke him inside. It was the worst thing to ever happen to Hero. Nothing could be worse than Mari being ripped away from him like that.

“You think it was a mistake when Basil picked up the fucking jump rope and wrapped it around her FUCKIN—“

“STOP!” Kel shouted back at him loudly, covering his ears with the palms of his hands. “Just shut up!” This was what he was afraid of. He didn’t want this, he wanted some fucking peace. He wanted to keep his friends alive. He wanted to keep his brother alive. He had wanted to make Aubrey feel loved. He wanted to make his parents proud of him. He wanted to be happy.

It felt like no matter what Kel did, at least one of those wishes was crumbling into nothing. Kel felt like he couldn’t do anything right. He felt like he had no purpose if he couldn’t put a smile on the faces of everyone around him.

“They were just kids. They were fucking 12 years old!” Kel argued, hands still pressed against his ears to block out if Hero decided to keep yelling at him.

The older brother reached over and grabbed Kel’s wrists, pulling his arms away from his head to force Kel to listen to him.

“They lied about her death for THREE YEARS, KEL! Get that through your head!”

Kel roughly pulled his arms out of Hero’s grasp and he immediately stood up to his feet. He hated this so much. He couldn’t believe Hero. He knew this would be hard on him and while he was expecting the worst, he really was hoping for the best.

“If Mari knew that you were fine with letting Sunny just wither away and die, she would never forgive you.” Kel spat at his brother. He didn’t want to hurt him, but this was the truth. Mari would have wanted Hero to take care of her precious little brother. She never would have held a grudge against Sunny and she would never have wanted anyone else to either.

“She would hate who you’ve become.” Kel’s words were sharp as knives that he, in that moment, didn’t care how deep they dug into his brother. Kel stepped back up to the top of Basil’s porch and opened the front door again before stepping inside and slamming it hard behind him.

Chapter Text

Kel was far too upset to even begin to feel bad for what he said to Hero. It was true, wasn’t it? Mari would never want anyone to suffer, especially not Sunny. The old Hero they all knew and loved would have done everything in his power to keep people safe, even if they were people he didn’t generally like. He stuck up for people at school who had picked on him before just because he felt like they had deserved compassion despite not always being the kindest. Mari believed everyone deserved love. Kel thought that Hero did too.

Kel truly believed it would break Mari’s heart if she knew Hero was just letting Sunny slowly kill himself. If she knew Hero was trying to stop someone from loving and helping him…

Kel gridded his teeth together out of anger as he stormed back into Basil’s living room, pulling at his uniforms neck tie in an attempt to pull it undone and off his neck. He suddenly felt so claustrophobic, like the tie was going to suffocate him any second. He just wanted to scream or throw something or hit something to get this energy out but as he stepped into the living room, he saw Sunny and Basil sat quietly at the sofa.

He immediately knew he had to pull himself together. He couldn’t let them see that Kel felt everything in his life just falling apart. How can he be there for them and support them the way they need if he is letting them see how upset he was? It wasn’t fair to them. They’re the ones that needed help.

He right away loosened his grip on the black neck tie, letting it fall sloppily back against his chest. He felt their curious eyes peering over at him, carefully studying him and it made his anxiety spike farther. His heart was racing and his hands were trembling slightly and he really wasn’t sure if he could play it off. He wasn’t sure how to just flip this switch.

“What are you guys watching?” He asked quickly, plastering his famous grin on his face. He hoped it was convincing.

The two were concerned considering Hero just showed up, but they trusted that if something was wrong that Kel would mention it. Surly Kel would tell them! They were all friends and the two younger teens trusted that Kel would confide in them.

They believed his smile, both giving reassured grins back and feeling relieved that things were fine. Sunny was still on edge. Something didn’t feel quite right. He intertwined his fingers with Basil’s, hoping that would bring him a sense of calm. It did.

Kel did his best to sit with his friends and enjoy the show they had on but his mind was racing. He couldn’t take this. Deep down he wanted Aubrey and he just wanted to go home and lock himself in his bedroom since he couldn’t go see her. But he couldn’t even go home because his stupid brother would be there. This felt like his own personal hell.

After hours of sitting there blankly staring at the tv, Kel decided he had to leave. He told Sunny and Basil he should probably leave to go home before his mom worried and they agreed, promising they will be okay.

Kel made them to promise to call him if anything bad started to happen and they both agreed.

The brown haired teen stepped out from his friends house, eyes falling to the spot where he sat with his brother just a few hours before. He didn’t let himself consider the words he left Hero with. He couldn’t let himself think about it. He was right. Hero was being mean.

He thought for a moment about where he should even go. He felt like he didn’t belong anywhere. He couldn’t stay there with Sunny and Basil and keep his cool, pretending everything went fine with Hero. He couldn’t go to Aubrey’s house. None of his other friends knew anything that was happening in his life.

He just started walking.

His mind felt both blank and so incredibly busy as he thought about what was happening. He felt sick and angry and so frustrated that he had to keep all these emotions inside.

After a few moment he found himself back at the park that held so many memories for him. His whole childhood was spent playing at this park. Some of his favorite nights with Aubrey took place here. He had so many long nights with his older brother at the Faraway Town playground, Hero with a slurpee from the gas station and Kel with an orange joe from the vending machine at the entrance.

He never thought this park would feel so fucking lonely. Even the times he came here by himself to clear his head in the past didn’t feel this lonely.

Kel slowed down his pace as he walked through the entrance to the park, eyes scanning the area to find a place to sit.

At first he considered the swings, however he cringed at the memory of Aubrey in the seat next to him, kicking her legs back and forth in an attempt to swing higher than Kel. Funnily enough, that happened recently and not just in childhood. He shook his head roughly as if it would make the memory disappear like you would shake an etch-a-sketch to get rid of the drawing. It didn’t.

Without much thought at all, his feet dragged him to the back of the park towards a path that cut through some trees. He has walked this path a thousand times, but it felt so scary now.

He stared down the dark path for a long moment, his gut telling him to just go home. The path looked terrifying at night when he was all alone and everything screamed in him to turn around.

But he didn’t.

Kel made his way between the trees, glancing around quickly at every animal sound he heard while walking. The park had never felt so creepy.

That was until he stepped beyond the last row as of trees where he found the familiar small lake with a little pier extending a few yards into the water. He felt chills run down his pine and down his arms as he crept closer towards the water, seeing how bright the moon looked as its reflection bounced off the water.

He soon collapsed onto the grass and allowed himself to really look out onto the water, feeling a strong sense of calm take over him.

This was his favorite place. It always had been. This was the only place it was like the bad feelings couldn’t taint his memories. He remembered being a child and being the first one to discover the hidden gem, immediately bringing all his friends to the lake. He was the one who declared it to be their new hang out spot.

The words from Aubrey didn’t matter here. It was like the fight with Hero hadn’t happened. It felt, just for a moment, like Sunny was at home asleep in his bedroom with his sister fast asleep in the bed next to his. Like Hero was home eating chocolate chip cookies Mari would have made earlier that day. Like tomorrow would be another exciting day with all his friends together like they were supposed to be.

Thinking back, he was sure this was where is crush on Aubrey first formed. This was also where Kel and Sunny sat together in 6th grade when Kel first noticed how much of a lighter shade of brown Sunny’s eyes were when the sun hit them. He remembered how jealous he felt because his own eyes were so much darker. But most of all, he remembered how he felt like he could look at Sunny’s eyes forever.

Kel laid back in the grass and squeezed his eyes shut, listening to the sound of the crickets in the grass around him.

He felt calm. He didn’t want to leave.

And he didn’t.

Kel awoke the next morning itchy from the grass he had fallen asleep in and with his clothes sticking to his slightly sweaty body. He felt pretty gross.

His eyes shot open when he realized he had fallen asleep next to the lake and he quickly sat up, eyes stinging at the bright sun shining off the water and into his eyes. He began looking around for his phone. When he finally found it he realized immediately it was dead.

But Kel wasn’t exactly upset about that. He was almost glad that he had a little bit more time to just breathe before he had to deal with the mess that was yesterday.

He spent the next few minutes staring at some ducks that had found their way into the water before he stood up with a sigh, knowing he needed to get out of his dirty clothes from the day before. He felt gross and knew he must look gross too.

When Kel finally approached his house, the anxiety of facing his brother finally smacked the shit out of him. He was nervous that he may have scared his parents, he hoped he wouldn’t be in too much trouble for having never came back home last night. His knees suddenly felt weak as he climbed up the steps, hand gripping the door knob firmly.

As he stepped inside, he had almost hoped his parents would be there anxiously awaiting his arrival. But the house was silent. As much as he was glad he wouldn’t be getting in trouble, it stung in a weird way that no one was worried about him.

Kel climbed the stairs to his bedroom, mentally preparing himself for the argument that was sure to be continuing with Hero now. But the room was empty. No Hero. Kel had almost expected Hero to have come back and trashed the place like he tended to do when he was really mad, but the room looked exactly how it was when he left it. It looked as if Hero hadn’t even come home.

Kel just shrugged it off and pulled his dirty school uniform off his body before chucking it straight onto the floor. He quickly plugged his phone in to change then crawled into bed, excited to get some good quality sleep without bugs crawling all over him while the sun harshly beamed onto his face.

He slept rather peacefully for a few hours before he felt his warm, comfortable blanket being ripped from around his body. His eyes shot open as the sudden cold air of the room his his skin just in time to watch as a pillow hit him in the face.

“Ow! What the hell—“ Kel exclaimed, grabbing the pillow and moving it off of his head to see his brother standing in front of him.

“You deserve it.” Hero grumbled childishly at him. Kel had been dreading seeing his brother again after that fight, but seeing him now felt like nothing had changed. He didn’t look like he wanted to kill him. Kel was relieved. He was still pretty mad at Hero for the words he said towards Sunny, but the guilt was finally setting in over the harsh words he said to Hero. “I was really worried about you when you never came home. I covered for you, though. Mom and Dad think you stayed the night at a friends house.” Hero spoke softly, sitting down on the edge of his own bed while still facing Kel.

Kel felt like he was at a loss for words. Nothing seemed like the right thing to say.“Hero, i’m sorry.” Kel spoke up with a quiet tone, eyes focused on Hero carefully. “For what I said yesterday. It was really not okay and Im really sorry.” Kel spoke barely above a whisper, watching as his brother slowly shook his head.

“No, you were right.” Hero sounded defeated. He was really disappointed in himself when he realized Kel was right. Sunny was Mari’s baby brother. Mari had spent her entire life pretty much raising Sunny and teaching him everything she knew. About how to bake, how to read music, how to draw, how to make friends… she taught him everything he knew. Sunny was the only person who would hold a pencil in the exact way Mari did, because she showed him how to do it to get the finest lines while drawing. He knew Sunny would always stand up on the pedals while riding his bike, because Mari taught him to do that to go faster. Hero realized Sunny would always be over critical of himself, because Mari was a perfectionist and taught him that he had to push himself past his limits to be the best. Sunny would always think he had to be the best at whatever he did because that’s just what Mari did.

And even when Sunny wasn’t the best, Mari loved him. Mari would love Sunny right now even at his worst. Mari would have lifted his chin up and told him to just keep trying, but a little harder next time.

And she would be so disappointed knowing Hero wasn’t there to lift her perfectly imperfect little brothers chin back up when it fell. To know that it had fallen and fallen until he was just a puddle on the ground wallowing in his own judgment. Mari never would have stood for that.

At Mari’s funeral, Hero stood up and spoke to the audience that he would do everything in his power to live for Mari. To always do what he felt would honor her and to live everyday in her footsteps. And by abandoning Sunny, he had broken that promise to her. That hurt him so much more than he ever thought Sunny could.

“After you went back inside, I went and visited her. I realized it had been a little bit since i’ve gone. With going on that date with Jessica and then everything that happened with the hospital I just…haven’t gone. So I went and I sat with her,” Hero began, looking away from Kel. It was really hard to put aside his pride and say all this. “I told her what an asshole you were for saying that.” Hero laughed softly, pulling a small grin onto Kel’s face. “Then I just sat there for a bit. And it was like I could hear her telling me that you were right. I could almost hear her voice in my head saying that we both knew you were right. They did a fucked up thing… but I feel like she wouldn’t be mad at them. She would just miss them. She would forgive them in a heartbeat because that’s just how Mari is.” Hero spoke confidently. It was so hard but he was ready to let go.

“To live like Mari would, I have to move past this.” Hero finally looked back up at Kel, his soft eyes meeting his younger brothers.

“And I want to see them.”

Chapter Text

Kel couldn’t believe the words he was hearing his older brother say. Hero wanted to see Sunny and Basil? He really wanted to work through this? It made Kel’s heart feel full, he was so excited at the thought that maybe everyone could be friends again one day. After the initial excitement began to subside, he realized a very real problem they still faced.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea right now…” Kel told him gently, a nervous expression taking over his face. It was so hard for him to say that when this was all he wanted since reuniting with the two. Hero looked disappointed and confused.

“Why?” The older of the two questioned softly. He thought that this would be a good thing. Wouldn’t Sunny want to see him? To know that everything was okay? Hero couldn’t understand why in the world that would be a bad thing.

“I just…” Kel trained off for a moment, chewing at his bottom lip until the skin was beginning to peel off a little. As much as he wanted to race over and bring Hero over to Basils house and have everyone talk things out right away, he knew he couldn’t. He had to do things the right way, for Sunny. He knew that if Hero just raced in there and started talking about Mari and forgiveness and apologies that could be extremely overwhelming for the quiet, shy boy. And after everything that happened with Aubrey, there was no way they were going to be quick to forgive anyone.

Kel knew Sunny had strange feelings for Aubrey. He wasn’t sure what exactly those feelings were or how strong they were and Kel honestly wasn’t sure how he felt about it. All Kel knew was that Sunny was definitely taking this Aubrey situation hard. He hasn’t told Kel how he feels yet, but Kel knew that since finding out Aubrey had told her friends that he was such a terrible thing Sunny really hadn’t been the same. He was always reserved, sure, but he wouldn’t even really interact with Basil. He wouldn’t eat even when they tried to cook for him. Kel had to force Sunny to even let Kel change the bandages that covered his eye. Sunny had no energy to even care for himself but he also was extremely anxious about people seeing his injury. Kel proved himself trust worthy, however, by how well he cleaned Sunny’s eye up and how gentle he was being. But the fact that Sunny was going to leave his bandages unchanged showed him how much he truly was suffering due to the argument with Aubrey. He had no problems doing it before.

Anyway, Kel felt like seeing Hero right now would probably just reinforce the awful thoughts he had towards himself. Kel was scared to take that chance. If things ended up not going well with Hero, Kel was sure that something bad very well could happen with Sunny or Basil. They were both far too unstable.

“I just think they’re going through a lot right now. Sunny hasn’t really been himself since all the stuff with Aubrey and Kim at school.” Kel tried to explain, hoping it wouldn’t deter Hero from trying later. “Can I talk to them about it?”

Hero’s expression was hard to read. He looked disappointed…but also almost relieved. Like part of him was ready to go and finally work through things with them while another part of him needed more time. “Of course. Whenever they’re ready.” Hero gave a delicate smile. Kel felt instantly reassured. “You’re a really good friend, Kel.” He told him with a confident sounds voice. He was absolutely sure about the words he was saying. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind. “And an even better brother. Sunny’s really lucky to have you around.” Hero stood up from the bed he was sat in and gently ruffled his brothers shaggy brown hair.

“And Aubrey sucks for saying that stuff about you. She’s wrong. You’re not weird or ugly or suck at sports or anything like that. Don’t let her words get to you.”

The words brought a bigger smile to Kel’s face. He had been feeling extremely insecure about himself since learning the way his crush described him to people, but he knew Hero had no reason to lie. He knew that if he looked bad, Hero would offer to help him change it. If he wasn’t doing the best at basketball, Hero would tell him to keep trying. Hero was the brother Kel wished he could be for Sally. But deep down Kel wondered if he was too selfish to be as giving as Hero is. Or too dumb to offer the advice Hero knows how to offer. He was so scared to be the son that brought nothing to the table, and he knew that that was how his parents saw him. Despite that, he wouldn’t let himself hold that against Hero. He knew he was so lucky to have Hero as a brother, but he just wished that he could be as perfect as Hero one day.

That thought reminded him of the day Aubrey met Sally and she told Kel that Sally would learn her kindness from him. He wondered how true that statement was and he wondered how much she really meant it. He wasn’t so convinced anymore.

“Thanks.” Kel gave a half smile, trying to decide if he should vent his feelings on this out to Hero. He decided against it. There was no point, it wouldn’t change anything.

“Have you talked to her at all?” Hero questioned his little brother, knowing it seemed to him like Aubrey really regretted how everything happened. He would never forget how panicked she was as she cried against his chest. It was like she was just a little kid again. He remembered trying to give her advice he felt like Mari would have given. He knew that that hug and those tears were only given to him because his sweet love wasn’t there to accept them. But he felt honored to be the next best thing yo Mari.

“No. And I hope I don’t.” Kel’s words came out much sharper than he had intended, causing Hero to recoil slightly.

“Look, I really don’t think she actually meant what she said about you…” Hero began, seeing Kel shake his head and look away from him.

“I don’t really care about that. I mean, I do a little bit, I guess. But I can’t move past what he told Kim about Sunny. And that she let Kim just say that. I’m mad that Sunny can’t just go back to school without everyone looking at him weird because they know what he did. I’m so mad that she broke her promise to him! She was going to help him get through school, they were going to do it together…” Kel’s voice started out so mad and loud but ended with him barely speaking above a whisper. He was hurt for Sunny.

Hero was so confused where all this emotion came from. He knew Kel cared a lot about Sunny… but this was all coming across so strong. Kel hadn’t said a word about how cruel the girls were to Basil, who he knew Kel also cared a lot about. It was like Sunny was truly his main priority. It was so bizarre.

“Kel… I have to ask you something but you can’t, like, freak out, okay?” Hero began, Kel’s eyes widening slightly. Kel nodded weakly, anxious for whatever this question could be.

“Do you have feelings for Sunny?” Hero asked, voice cautious and careful like he was walking on thin glass with that question. Kel and Hero had always been open to each other, so he figured if Kel did like someone then he would have told Hero about it by now. Especially if it was a guy and ESPECIALLY if it was Sunny, right? Hero didn’t think Kel was into guys though, he just felt like he had to ask due to how strong this attachment seemed.

As if Kel’s eyes couldn’t widen any further before, he found a way. He was absolutely floored, confused as to what would even lead Hero to such a conclusion. “What?!” Kel exclaimed.

“No! I don’t— I’m not into guys that way. At all. Whatsoever. Not even a little bit.” Kel immediately began trying to defend himself. This was crazy! “He is just my best friend and I worry about him. That’s not weird, for someone to care about their friends…”

Hero quickly began nodding in agreement, his own cheeks blushing slightly. He felt pretty embarrassed for assuming that. “No, yeah, you’re right. Sorry. I just misunderstood.” Hero tried to correct his mistake, an awkward grin appearing on his face. “Sunny probably isn’t into guys either so it’s probably good you don’t!” Hero chuckled, still trying to play off the awkward moment.

Kel froze for a second, unsure if it was okay to tell Hero this. Surely it was fine to tell him, he knew Hero would never mistreat Sunny for it. “I mean, he is sort of dating Basil right now anyway.”

Hero was in no way expecting that. “No way!” He exclaimed, sitting back down onto the bed like he was ready to hear all the gossip. Kel immediately felt like that was something he should have kept to himself. Hero never would have expected this. He knew they were close, sure, but they never really struck him as into each other. In a weird way, it felt sweet. They were there for each other when no one else was. Hero was glad they were happy together. “I never expected Sunny to be gay.” Hero admitted. Basil was a little more obvious. He wasn’t so surprised about that one.

“I don’t think he is gay, Hero.” Kel sounded exhausted of talking about the sexualities of his friends. He couldn’t tell why that mattered AT ALL, he just wanted to correct him so Hero wouldn’t continue thinking Kel wanted to be with him. He had a boyfriend. Nothing could happen if Kel wanted it to. “He just likes Basil. And maybe Aubrey, I think.” Kel spoke in a hushed tone. He was still uncomfortable with that. He had been telling himself that it wasn’t a big deal because he knew Aubrey liked HIM and not Sunny but he just felt so insecure now. He knew Sunny was hurting over her too, though.

Hero immediately felt bad for carrying on this conversation. That had to be tough feeling like your friend was into your girlfriend. “Wow.” Hero breathed out, recognizing he wasn’t going to keep pushing Kel to talk about this stuff.

“Thank god i’m not in high school anymore. Way too much drama for me.” Hero laughed softly. Kel was just relieved the conversation was wrapping up. Though his brain was still stuck on why Hero would think he was interested in Sunny that way. He felt like he wasn’t being any different with Sunny than any other friend he had… it made no sense.

The rest of the day went well. Kel and Hero made up fine and all seemed well. Kel ended up just staying home with his family for the day, making up for some lost time with his baby sister. He felt like every time he saw her she was saying a new word or had some new mannerism Kel had never seen before. He hated that he was missing her life.

So in an attempt to combat that, Kel decided he was taking her out to the park. His special place with his special little sister. He had invited Hero to come with, but he had admitted to FINALLY asking Jessica to hang out with him again. She was hesitant, but had ultimately agreed. She had a soft spot for tall guys with soft brown eyes, so of course she had to say yes. Kel was happy for him, though part of him was nervous. He hoped her similarities to Mari wouldn’t trigger anything negative this time around.

Kel grabbed some toys and Sally’s stroller and excitedly strapped her in. His mother warned him to not be gone too long and to keep an eye on her. Kel rolled his eyes, complaining about how painfully obvious that was.

His mom was quick to remind him that if she sees him rolling his eyes at her again that would be the last time he would see anything at all. Kel wanted to call her bluff but knew it was better to keep his mouth shut. She gave a warm smile to show she was teasing before kissing the heads of her two youngest children and sending them on their way.

Kel was happy to be back at the park with his little sister. It was Saturday and the sun was warm and the energy was much better now that he wasn’t alone. He pushed he stroller to an open spot by the sandbox, seeing all the kids running around like mad men. It was nice. Sally seemed excited to play in the sand box and seemed to be getting along well with a couple other babies that were playing close by.

Kel had sort of zoned out a bit after a while, his attention definitely no longer being on his baby sister. He was stuck in his thoughts while laying back in the grass, eyes staring at the clouds in the sky. He couldn’t shake some of the things Hero had said.

He was only pulled from his thoughts when he heard his sister excitedly giggling and babbling. She was a happy baby, sure, but she never did this when just sitting by herself. Kel glanced over towards her, noticing that she was looking past Kel at something behind him. She was really happy about whatever it was.

Kel whipped his head around, his stomach dropping when he saw who it was. He didn’t have time to form any type of words or think of something witty to say. His brain was quick to have him standing up to his feet however, immediately picking up his giggling sister from the spot she was playing at.

Aubrey caught on quickly that Kel was grabbing his things to leave and she anxiously took a step closer towards them.
“Kel, wait!” She begged, so anxious over how fast he was to try to get away from her. She stepped in front of the stroller so he would be forced to hear her out for at least another few seconds. “I was just walking and I saw you and I wanted to say hi.” She tried to explain herself, but Kel just kept grabbing his things. He didn’t want to see her or talk to her or think about her. He was usually so forgiving and understanding but today was not the day.

“Cool, hi.” Kel grumbled, throwing Sally’s toys into the stroller, still holding her on his hip.

“Can we just talk for a minute? Please?”

Kel was pissed she would even ask that right now. Who the fuck did she think she was? “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

She immediately cringed, realizing he was probably mad about her going to Hero for help. She had been feeling so guilty for it, but she had no idea what else to do. She was so scared of what may happen to Kel or Sunny or even Basil after the big fight at school. She had to know that they were all safe and the only way she could do that was by telling Hero.

“I’m really sorry for telling Hero where you were. I was really worried about you guys and I just had to do something. If anyone got hurt because of me I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.” She quickly rambled, Kel’s expression remaining the same. Sally just reached her arms out and leaned towards Aubrey like she was trying to be held by her instead, which made a Kel’s heart hurt. He didn’t want her to want Aubrey so much. But Sally always had so much fun playing with her whenever she could come to their house.

Aubrey reached her finger out carefully to allow the toddler to wrap her own fingers around it. But as soon as Kel realized what she was doing, he instinctively pulled Sally away from her. He hadn’t really meant to, he just knew he didn’t want to be near her and didn’t want her interacting anymore with his baby sister. He was so angry, clenching his jaw as he watched her slowly back up. It was so hard being so mad at someone who you like so much.

“Careful, you wouldn’t want anyone to see you actually talking to me.” He mumbled, finally grabbing the stroller and beginning to walk away.

“I don’t care about that, Kel! I care about you! And Sally! I care about Sunny and Basil, I don’t care if anyone sees me talking to you, for fucks sake. I just want you to forgive me.” He desperately begged, realizing only afterwards that she had said fuck right in front of Sally. She was sure she had lost brownie points for that one. Kel only hesitated for a second before walking past her back in the direction of his house. Sally whined and tried to wiggle out of his arms as they walked out of the park and Kel felt even worse. He felt so bad keeping Sally away from Aubrey who she obviously wanted to play with.

The rest of the weekend went by so slow. Kel had seen Sunny and Basil only one other time that weekend as everything was seeming fine with them and Kel just wanted to be alone. He knew he wouldn’t be able to be his usually cheerful self so he didn’t want to risk bumming them out.

But Monday morning came and Kel made sure to wake up extra early to be at Basil’s house first thing so they could all walk together. He knew they would be questioning why he was so distant that weekend and he was hoping that being extra attentive would stop them from asking any questions.

Thankfully the diversion worked and the guys were just excited to see Kel not being so weird now. They walked together like normal, joking and playing around like nothing ever happened. No one mentioned Aubrey OR Hero.

Kel spent the whole day dreading the class with Aubrey, only to discover she wasn’t there. He was finally thankful for her tendencies to skip school. He was able to actually get his assignments done for once, however in the past he was distracted due to texting her sweet nothings all class. He was embarrassed at even thinking about that now.

The next day came, and Aubrey wasn’t in class again. Kel wondered if she was seriously just skipping the one class she had with him and he tried to decide if that was better for him or worse.

Wednesday came and still no Aubrey. He noticed that day that Aubrey’s friends sat without her at lunch. There was an empty spot next to Kim the whole lunch period as if they were saving a spot for her just incase she were to show up.

By Thursday, Kel was getting a little nervous. Why was she just not at school? Was she seriously just a trying to make Kel feel bad? It made no sense.

Kel walked him alone Thursday due to having basketball practice and he realized just how quiet things were without Aubrey or their other friends around. He had no idea how he had been walking home on his own for so long before he reunited with his friends.

As he turned onto his street, he noticed someone standing outside his front door. His heart skipped a beat, thinking for just a moment that it might have been Aubrey. Until he noticed the lack of pink hair. The closer he got he realized the mystery persons hair was cut short and they wore extremely baggy clothes. Absolutely nothing like Aubrey. However, exactly like Kim.

“There you are!” The short girl exclaimed, quickly jogging over to Kel. Her face was bright red and she looked so embarrassed to be there. “I know you don’t like me, but you helped me before. I haven’t seen or heard from Aubrey since last Friday and I’m really scared.” Kim looked up to Kel with puffy, red eyes. Her anxiety was definitely getting the best of her. “She told me last week something about her parents and now I haven’t been able to see her.”

Kel felt his face flush and he started to get a bit more nervous.

“What do you mean?” He asked curiously, unsure what was going on with her parents. Aubrey never mentioned anything. Of course he knew her parents were sort of crazy, but he didn’t think too much of it.

Kim looked annoyed at the question, but she knew that if she wanted help that she is going to have to answer his stupid questions.

“She came to school last week with a big bruise on her arm. I only saw it when she took her jacket off during PE. When I asked her about it, she told me that her dad was just being rougher again.” The small girl sniffled hard, trying to hold back her tears.

Kel felt like his blood was beginning to boil. Was something really wrong with her? Was her dad the reason she wasn’t coming to school?

“Like, I know you really fucking hate me, but I know you care about her. I just want to know she’s safe.”

He hated Kim and honestly he kind of hated Aubrey too, but if she was stuck in her house because of her parents and he did nothing to help he would hate himself forever.

“Let’s go.” Kel agreed.

Chapter Text

Kel walked cautiously next to Kim towards Aubrey’s house, unsure how exactly he was feelings. He truly did care about her, of course he did. He felt like no matter what Aubrey said about him or did to him, he would help her if she needed it.

He hated her fucking parents. Kel had never hated anyone in his life but he really hated Aubrey’s dad. He was the worst type of person; controlling, manipulative, completely rough around the edges. Kel hated him since he met him in middle school when him and his friends went to Aubrey’s house to ask her to come outside and play. Her father had found out that 13 year old Aubrey had stolen a single cigarette from his pack of Marlboro Reds that sat on the coffee table of their living room, almost hidden by the clutter of empty beer bottles. She had been curious. Her parents both smoked around her for her entire life and she just wanted to know what it was like.

It had fallen out of her jacket pocket on the way out the door and unfortunately for Aubrey, her dad was just sober enough in that moment to realize. Kel would never forget how scared she looked in that moment. How her shoulders became visibly tense, braced for some type of assault.

He made her smoke the entire rest of the pack in front of her friends. She coughed and cried and told him how gross they tasted and how bad her throat burned. He said nothing until the pack was empty. As they all left, Aubrey walked behind the group with a very hurt expression. She didn’t want to talk about it then and it never came up again.

Kel felt an intense wave of guilt set in the closer he and Kim walked to the pink haired girls house, his mind racing with the possibilities of what could be wrong. Was it really something with her family? Was she in danger? As they turned onto her street and her house was in view, Kel slowed down slightly and turned turned towards the shorter girl.

“Do you mind if I try by myself?” He asked before clearing his throat slightly, hoping Kim wouldn’t argue with him on this. If he was going to be seeing Aubrey and trying to work things out with her, there was no way he could do that in front of Kim. He was nervous Aubrey wouldn’t be extremely receptive of his comfort in front of her other friends.

“Are you kidding? I’m the reason you’re even coming here! You don’t get to take all the credit!” Kim complained, crossing her arms across her chest. Kel sighed, his brown eyes desperately grabbing onto hers.

“Kim. You can see her after, please just let me go alone?”

She didn’t look convinced. She actually looked kind of pissed off. Kel had no idea why she was so upset, she came to Kel asking for help!

“If you want to talk to her by yourself then you should have just done that. You asked me for help and now i’m here. I’m talking to her myself.” Kel spoke up with a very sudden demanding tone, deciding he was done asking for permission. He was done treading lightly. He lived his entire life just making sure other people were comfortable and Aubrey’s safety wasn’t something he was going to be passive about. Not anymore.

Without another word, he turned and began making his way to Aubrey’s front door. Kim stayed behind. Kel breathed out a sigh of relief. Words couldn’t express how good it felt to be finally taken seriously. He was sure that he would have lost his shit at Kim if she had continued to insist on coming with him.

He walked up the steps up to the front door, mustering up all his courage in his body to knock on the door. The knock came out much harsher than he had intended, his anxiety getting the better of him.

His anxiety spiked sharply as no one came to the door. He knocked again but louder this time, making sure that he would be heard. He could hear the tv on past the door, his fist clenching slightly. Someone was in there and was just ignoring him. He waited for another minute before he remembered the status of the house last time he and his friends came over. When they fought for Basils photo album… Could he just walk in like they did before? Sunny was the one that had opened the door, he was the one that felt bold enough to lead them all through the house. Kel wasn’t sure if he felt that bold. Maybe as a last resort.

He thought for a moment before an idea came to mind, his feet already running down the porch steps and around to the side of the house. He looked around at the ground, grabbing the first stick he found. He immediately chucked it up at the side of the house, aiming for the window he was sure belonged to Aubrey’s bedroom.

The stick was barely heavy enough to make it to the house, let alone be loud enough to get her attention as it hit the glass. Kel groaned and searched around for a moment, finding a small pile of pebbles. He picked a few up and began throwing them up at her window. It took six rocks being thrown up against her window before he caught a small glimpse of her face as she peered through the bedroom window. Her expression was hard to read from so far away, but wasn’t she always impossible to read? Her eyes widened and she just stared at him, almost like she didn’t believe he was really there.

His eyes sparkled as he saw her, feeling his heart skip a beat. How could he ever be mad at her? Beautiful Aubrey. She was complicated, and difficult, sometimes mean… but she was Aubrey. He nearly had to shake himself back into reality.

He slowly raised his hand up and waved gently, watching as she didn’t really react. He hesitated before he pointed in the direction of her front door, silently asking for her to come out.

He felt conflicted as she slowly shook her head. He couldn’t understand. Why was she the one mad at him now? Why wouldn’t she come out? He immediately pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened up her contact.

>> please come out? i need to talk to you

Kel immediately looked back up at her window, watching as she looked away at something and suddenly disappeared out of sight. She reappeared after just a second, Kel seeing that she was now typing back just as her face came into view again. Ah. Her phone.

>> i can’t.

Kel frowned as the blunt reply. He truly couldn’t understand why.

>>please? just for a minute?

>>im sorry.

Kel looked back up at the window from his phone and saw her sadly staring back at him. He was happy to see that she was alright, but something still felt so off.

>>im coming in

Kel watched as Aubrey read the text, her face growing suddenly panicked. She quickly shook her head at him through the window, watching as Kel began confidently walking towards the door.

At least he appeared confident. Inside he was freaking the fuck out. What if her dad was there? What if he opens the door and is immediately faced with her father? He pushed the thought aside, knowing it was too late to pussy out. He knew he had to just do it.

Kel without a moment of hesitation grabbed the door knob and pushed the front door open, looking around for any sign of her parents. His eyes immediately landed on the gruff looking man passed out on the sofa with a glass bottle in his hand and the tv playing loudly in the background. Thank you, Jesus. He made a mental note to go to Mass with his mother that Sunday to thank God for being on his side for once.

He quietly shut the door behind him and made his way through the house as silently as he possibly could. He rushed up the stairs and took the familiar mental path to Aubrey’s bedroom. He knew he should probably knock, but he told himself it would be fine since Aubrey knew he was coming up and he definitely didn’t want to wake her dad up. He pushed her bedroom door open, eyes being immediately met with Aubrey’s. Before he even had time to think about how pretty her ocean blue eyes were, his eyes trailed down to her neck where an array of light purple bruises littered her skin.

Kel’s heart sunk at the sad sight in front of him, silently closing the door behind him and taking a half step closer to her. That’s when he noticed the nearly healed brown bruise on her cheekbone. He assumed that it had once covered her whole eye.

“Aubrey…” He whispered, voice pained, as he looked back into her eyes. He hoped he hadn’t offended her by staring at the marks spread over her body. “What happened?”

She looked embarrassed. Was it shame? Guilt? Anger? He couldn’t quite figure it out. One of his favorite things about her was also one of the most difficult things about her; her complexity. Anyone who knew Aubrey knew she was anything but simple. If she were, Kel probably wouldn’t like her half as much.

Aubrey didn’t say a word. Kel finally stepped even closer, nearly filling the gap between them completely. “Aubrey. Please talk to me, who did this?” Kel asked with a stern voice. But he already knew the answer. Anyone with a brain could figure out who it was. But he just had to have some sort of confirmation.

Aubrey scoffed and turned away from Kel. She wasn’t mad at HIM… she was just mad. Mad at her dad. Mad at the world. Mad she was stuck in this situation being forced to be vulnerable. And most of all, mad she felt like she was going to cry. “He’s just an asshole.” She breathed out, eyes focused on a the tree outside her window and how it blew in the summer breeze. “A stupid, drunk asshole.” She sighed, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

He wished he could save her. It was so hard being this fucking helpless. He sat next to her and turned to face her, grabbing her and and holding it between both of their thighs. “One day we are going to get you out of here. We will go somewhere far away. Farther than Faraway. Wherever you want to go, that’s where we will go.” He blurted out as if he had never been mad at her. She recoiled slightly, pulling her hand away from his. She wasn’t sure how to respond. They had broken up a week ago and hadn’t talked since and now he was talking about moving away with her?

“That’s stupid, Kel.” She quietly told him. She didn’t want her hopes to be built up too high. She knew Kel couldn’t really care about her after everything that happened. There was no way he really liked her. He just felt bad for her. “You know you’re not going to leave with me. You have a life here and people here. Your parents, your siblings, Sunny and Basil and your teammates. You have things to stay for.” She felt defeated. She felt hopeless and tired. She didn’t want to be Aubrey anymore. “I really don’t think I can take it anymore.” She whispered softly. Aubrey felt so close to snapping. She felt like she was for sure going to lose her mind if she had to spend another miserable day in that hell she called her house. She was completely and utterly alone. Except for Kel.

“Please don’t say that.” Kel begged, grabbing ahold of her hand again. He didn’t want to be too pushy, but he knew he had to fight for her. She was hurting bad. “I mean it. Let’s leave. After graduation we can go.” He urged. Aubrey was thrown off by how sure he sounded.

“Shut up. We don’t even have a car.” She rolled her eyes.

“I’m getting Hero’s as a graduation gift, he is getting a new one. We can do this.” He gave a gentle smile.

“This doesn’t even make any sense, Kel! You should hate me right now, you DID hate me. You don’t have to say shit to make me feel better. I’m not going to go hurt myself or anything, you don’t have to worry for me.” She grumbled out. It hurt her to say it and deep down she hoped it wasn’t true, but her gut told her that was the fact. Kel had hated her.

Kel suddenly lifted his hand and gently cupped the girls cheek, thumb rubbing carefully against the healing bruise that laid there. A temporary, yet painful, reminder of her fathers uncontrollable anger. It made Kel feel sick to his stomach. “Aubrey, I can never hate you.” He started, taking in a deep breath. There was no more holding back. His heart couldn’t take being careful anymore. He had been so scared to say anything too emotional in fear of pushing her away more but he simply couldn’t dance around his feelings anymore. If she didn’t feel the same, at least he could let go. “You can say anything about me to anyone in the world and that doesn’t stop you from being the most incredible girl I have ever met. That doesn’t stop you from being the face I fall asleep thinking about and you being the girl in my dreams at night. I will take being called an idiot by you every day over not hearing your voice at all. I would rather have you boo me at every game i play than for you to not be in the crowd at all. I don’t want any other girl sitting at my moms table eating dinner. I don’t want to sneak out at night to the park just for one single kiss in passing with any other girl. Just you.” He confessed, his warm, loving eyes gazing into hers. He was absolutely smitten. This was the girl of his dreams. They could get through this. “When I think of my future, you’re in it. Being broke in collage and making cheese quesadillas with you for dinner every night because we can’t afford anything else. I don’t want Sally to grow up seeing me with someone else. She likes you more than she likes me, for christs sake!” He laughed softly, his stomach fluttering as he heard Aubrey’s hesitant giggle back. He knew it was time. He couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“Aubrey, I love you so much.” He spoke, unable to break the eye contact they were holding. He was scared to look away. He didn’t want to miss her reaction. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same for me. Im not mad. You don’t have to love me. I just can’t keep pretending like i’m not absolutely in love with you. Just tell me to fuck off or—“ Aubrey’s lips were suddenly pressed against Kel’s, her arms naturally draping over his shoulders. They held that position for a moment before she gently broke the kiss.

“I love you too…Idiot.”

—————————

Kel eventually had to sneak back out of her house before her dad woke up, Aubrey playfully assuring him that her dad would probably finish the job and just kill her then if he saw a boy over. Kel didn’t find her joke funny. She didn’t care and laughed anyway.

He appreciated everything about her, but her dark humor was something Kel would definitely need to get used to. His way of coping was just ignoring everything and acting like nothing was wrong. Aubrey wanted to laugh at pain. Naturally, it made Kel uncomfortable but he would do his best to laugh if that’s what made her more comfortable.

He started walking down the road, feeling like life had a little more purpose again. That little Aubrey sized void in his heart had been filled again. It was amazing. She was amazing. She loved him back. Everything was as it should be.

In their talking, she apologized for the harsh words she had told her friends about him. She couldn’t quite explain why she was so embarrassed, and promised him that any girl would be lucky to have him and that she was so happy he chose her. She felt like an idiot for almost losing that. She knew she wouldn’t take Kel for granted again, he didn’t deserve that. She hated the thought of pushing Kel away so far that he gives up and really does find a different girl to give his affections to. She knew she didn’t deserve his love, but she would cherish it.

She also made a point to tell Kel she demanded that Kim fixes her mistake. She insisted Kim tells people that she had made it all up and it was a stupid rumor. She knew not everyone would believe it, but some damage control was better than none. Kel was so thankful she had thought to do that.

Kel’s feet naturally took him back to Basil’s house, stopping for a moment to consider the time. It was a school night, after all… he wondered if he should just go straight home. He couldn’t though, he had to tell someone about him and Aubrey. Sunny and Basil were the only two people in the world who would even begin to understand. He knocked excitedly at Basil’s front door before letting himself in. The living room was empty and the house was quiet. Kel frowned and quickly jogged up the stairs to the room they all had been spending most of their free times.

As he pushed Basils bedroom door open slightly, a warm smile overtook his face at the sight in front of him. Basil was curled up in the bed in what appeared to be a duvet cocoon and Sunny laid on the floor on his stomach with Basil’s Nintendo Switch in his hands. The sight reminded him of their old sleep overs as kids where they would all sit on the floor together playing Pokémon on their Gameboys. He took a mental picture of how sweet Sunny looked. It was precious.

“Hey,” Kel grinned wide, stepping into the bedroom and sitting on the floor with Sunny. Things have been going so well for them lately. Sunny and Basil were doing really well together. No more episodes with Basil. Sunny’s progress way so obvious and Kel couldn’t be more proud. Sunny had gone to school every day that week and surprisingly, no one fucked with him. He actually had a great week. Thank fuck for Aubrey’s damage control.

Kel watched as Sunny offered a genuinely grin back. “Hey.” He replied back, setting the switch down and immediately moving to sit normally. He looked up at Kel sweetly, taking note of the huge smile on Kel’s face. His energy just felt completely different from what he had grown used to recently. Kel was good at putting a smile on his face, but you can’t fake the positive vibe that was radiating from Kel.

And boy Kel was glad he asked because he wasn’t sure how he was going to keep it to himself. “I saw Aubrey. It went well.” He quickly told Sunny. “Really well…actually” He couldn’t shake the smile on his face.

Sunny’s eyes widened in surprise and he felt like his breath got stuck in his chest. That was the last thing he had expected. “You forgave her?” He choked out. He wasn’t sure how to feel. Aubrey scared the shit out of Sunny…but she also made his heart feel warm. He wished he could flip a switch and not get butterflies at the sound of her name.

“She is really sorry… I mean it.” Kel told Sunny with a reassuring smile. He wasn’t sure what parts he wanted to tell Sunny first. There was just so much to say. “She says she wants to see us at school when she comes back next week. I promise, she won’t do anything else to us.” He guaranteed, blindly trusting Aubrey’s words. Surely she wouldn’t lie so blatantly, this had to be the truth.

Sunny skeptically accepted his words, deep down wanting to believe it to be true. He wanted to believe the Aubrey he had fallen for all those year ago was still in there somewhere.

“She loves me.” Kel suddenly spoke with a dazed, blissful tone. He couldn’t contain himself.

Sunny’s smile immediately fell and his face flushed the color from his now pale cheeks. “What?” He quickly questioned, unsure if he heard Kel right. Kel was just excited to get to say it again.

“She loves me.” Kel happily repeated. “I told her how I felt and she said she loves me too. She kissed me right after I told her. Then we kissed like a bunch of times after that…” Kel coyly admitted, his cheeks burning bright red. He felt like a giddy little kid talking about his crush.

Sunny felt a sudden pit in his stomach. she felt like he had just been punched in the chest, unable to find his breath. He had a sharp pain in his chest but he tried to maintain his composure.

He wasn’t sure why he felt so hurt. He had Basil. Basil was great. He liked Basil a lot. So why did Sunny feel like he was about to burst into tears at any moment?

The worst part was, he couldn’t figure out what part exactly made him feel that way. Knowing that Aubrey loved Kel? Or… was it that Kel loved Aubrey? They both hurt, but the hurt was different. The thought of Aubrey loving Kel was like a dull, throbbing pain that you kind of get used to after a while. But the thought of Kel loving and longing for Aubrey felt sharp and intense. The type of pain that has you doubling over and has you question if you’re having a heart attack. The kind you sit there with your phone in your hand, debating if you should call for an ambulance.

He had never really felt like this before. He never would have expected to feel jealous of someone having Kel’s affection before. These feelings had taken Sunny by surprise and he wasn’t sure how to feel. With his mind racing in so many different directions, he didn’t noticed as his blurry eyes began leaking tears down his flushed cheeks. Before Sunny could even attempt to compose himself, a stiff sob escaped his lips.

Kel was absolutely taken aback, his excited smile falling as an expression of pure concern took over. “Sunny? What’s wrong?” He gasped, unsure what could cause such a reaction. That was until he thought about their past conversations about Aubrey. Kel felt like an asshole for letting himself forget that Sunny very obviously had been lying when he said he no longer had feelings for the girl. Of course he still liked her. Kel’s gut had been screaming at him that the shorter boy liked Aubrey for weeks. He had just spent so much time rejecting that feeling he didn’t even consider it now.

Sunny couldn’t respond, too busy trying to slow down the rate at which sobs bursted out of his throat. He felt humiliated. He couldn’t believe he was stupid enough to think that maybe Aubrey liked him still. But even worst, he felt crazy for crying over Kel not confessing some deep hidden feelings to HIM.

“Is this about Aubrey? Do you… still like her?” Kel anxiously asked. Sunny shrugged his shoulders sadly, wiping his tears on the backs of his hands. “Do you want me to, like, tell her I can’t be with her?” He hoped to god Sunny wouldn’t say yes, but if Kel being with her upset Sunny this much, he would definitely consider it.

Sunny just shook his head. “Why are you so upset then?” He asked softly, scooting a little closer to Sunny on the floor. “You’ve got Basil, Sunshine. You won’t even miss her.” Kel tried to reassure him, hoping the joke would help lighten the mood.

However hearing Aubrey’s old nickname for him come out of Kel’s mouth only fanned the flame, his eyes filling with tears again. He wanted to just curl up in a ball and fall asleep and dream all his problems away. This was sick, it felt like torture for Kel to say all this to him. He debated harshly with himself for a minute before the words finally bursted out.

“I’ll miss you.” Sunny admitted, looking up at Kel with his delicate, dark chocolate eyes. Kel was a little confused by this.

“We are always going to be friends, Sunny. Just because I have a girlfriend won’t change anything.”

Sunny hated that answer. He wasn’t sure why he was THIS upset. It wasn’t fair to a Kel or to Aubrey and it especially wasn’t fair to Basil. But Sunny couldn’t ignore how intense these feelings felt. Sunny hated how greedy he was. He felt like he would always just be so selfish. He always wanted what he couldn’t have.

“What’s wrong with…me?” Sunny shyly asked, looking away from Kel. He was so confused by what Sunny even meant by this.

“Nothing is wrong with you, Sunny! You’re the best. You’re amazing. Anyone would be lucky to be picked by you.” Kel tried to comfort him, though he really did mean those words. He knew that once Sunny was more confident with himself, he would be a great person to be with romantically.

“I want to pick you.” Sunny’s words seemed to shock the both of them, Kel gasping loudly at the words and Sunny’s one healthy eye widened. He wasn’t sure what had come over him. He thought back to growing up with Kel and it felt like almost every memory he had of the two of them suddenly felt so romantic. When they would sit just a little too close on the sofa when watching movies, when Kel would gently play with Sunny’s hair, when Kel would go out if his way to wait by Sunny’s locker between classes. Sunny hoped that there was some possible way that Kel felt the same way for him, because in this moment, all he wanted was to be held by him.

Of course he cared for Basil, his feelings towards Kel didn’t change his feelings towards Basil in the slightest. He just wanted them both.

“Sunny…What?” Kel looked extremely taken aback, his brain felt so conflicted. Sunny was his best friend! They had always been nothing more than best friends, just two amigos against the world. He didn’t even know Sunny was interested in guys until a few weeks ago, now he was into KEL?

Kel’s mind stirred trying to figure out his emotions. In the weeks between first reconnecting with Sunny to now Kel had been having a lot of thoughts about Sunny and Aubrey and who Kel really was. He knew he loved Aubrey, that was a given. But somewhere in his head while trying to work around his jealousy over Sunny possibly liking Aubrey, he had noticed a particular thought that kept disrupting his trains of thought; ‘What if Aubrey liked him too, and I lose Sunny?’ Kel had worked himself up in more than one occasion thinking about how bad it would hurt if Sunny really did get Aubrey and Aubrey would get to be the one to be around Sunny all the time. So be there for his rehab and see him recover and get better while Kel would be rejected to the sidelines. Those were the thoughts that kept him up at night…but were they romantic? Kel knew he loved his best friend, but he didn’t know if it was proper LOVE.

Kel began trying to compare how he felt with Sunny to how he felt with Aubrey.

Yes, he got butterflies in his stomach around them both. So what, he got jealous over the thought of not being either of their number one person. That’s not a big deal…right? Sure, he felt like he could look into Sunny’s eyes for the rest of his life and never get bored of what he saw, just like how he felt about Aubrey’s.

At that last thought, he felt a terrible pang of guilt his him. Aubrey. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever met and here he was directly comparing her to their best friend just hours after kissing her and confessing his love. Kel felt slimey. But it was hard to combat these emotions when they suddenly felt so strong. He hadn’t allowed himself to even consider Sunny in that way, but realizing all these thoughts he was having could be a crush made sense. “Sunny, you can’t say that.” Kel pushed, chewing at the inside of his cheek.

“I mean it.” Sunny’s small voice croaked out, sounding almost raspy and very cautious. He sat in front of Kel, his eye looking down at the ground to avoid Kel’s gaze. He felt judged, like he was about to ruin their entire friendship.

Kel was wrestling with what the right thing to do it. After a moment of considering, he knew he couldn’t do something that would hurt the girl he had been fighting so hard to win over. “I can’t do that to Aubrey. I just got her. I love her, I don’t want to lose her.” He carefully declined Sunny’s confession. But his own chest felt tight just after saying those words. Like he regretted even trying to reject Sunny. It was like with the rejection, he solidified that truth behind his feelings. Would this be enough to deter Sunny from ever coming over to lay his head in Kel’s lap again when everyone is just saying on the sofa? Will this stop the shy smiles and blushed cheeks Kel always received from Sunny when he walked in the door? He was terrified of that ending. The thought that pushing Sunny away now could lead to Sunny intentionally sitting on the other side of the couch made Kel extremely anxious. He didn’t want to see Sunny just turn his head away when Kel walked in a room. He wanted those adorable smiles. He wanted Sunny. But he also didn’t want to lose Aubrey. He COULDN’T lose her.

Kel wondered by exactly he taught Aubrey so hard when she had disrespected Sunny. He couldn’t tell if that was just him being protective as a friend of if it meant something more. He felt like he had picked Sunny first over Aubrey then, why did that not feel like an option now? He tried to figure out if that was proof that he didn’t actually have romantic feelings for Sunny. This was all so confusing…

Sunny stared hard at the older boy when a sudden wave of courage came over him. He didn’t want to lose Kel and he was worried now that if he didn’t play his cards right, he could lose Kel as best friend too. Things would get weird after this. Sunny felt like if this went wrong, Kel would treat him completely different. That was the last thing he wanted. “You don’t feel that way about me? Not even a little bit?” Sunny whimpered out.

Kel froze up at the question. He knew he couldn’t say that that was true. It wasn’t. Kel had thought once a couple weeks ago that he wished Sunny wasn’t seeing Basil so he could just see where things led them. Not exactly in a boyfriends way, but he just wondered what life would be like. But it never happened. Basil was always there, but that wasn’t a bad thing. Kel adored Basil and knew how deeply Basil loved Sunny. Kel wanted Sunny to be as loved as possible. After learning about Sunny and Basil’s relationship, Kel had been forced to be happy for them. If Kel wanted Aubrey, Sunny had to have Basil. they compliment them nicely, but Kel couldn’t help his thoughts.

“I— I can’t say that.” Kel whispered back, feeling pretty shy out of nowhere. He knew he should feel wrong for admitting that just hours after confessing to Aubrey. At first he did, but the more they say there and the more his thoughts wandered all over the place, the more it felt right. It felt good. It felt like the confusing thoughts that had been taking over his head were beginning to make just a little more sense.

“So kiss me.” Sunny used every last ounce of courage he had in him to say those three words. They weren’t spoken with any bravery, but out of sheer fear. Fear of losing what they had if they just agreed they couldn’t have feelings for each other. He was terrified. He had no idea how he had gotten himself into this situation.

Kel had to hold himself back from that offer. Of course he couldn’t actually kiss him! He had Aubrey. Sunny had Basil. This doesn’t even make any sense! Sunny sounded so unsure despite the words alone seeming powerful. No matter how much Kel told himself that he couldn’t do it, it was hard to deny how badly he really wanted to. There was nothing in this moment he wanted more, he decided. It was as if with that offer of a kiss, Sunny became an option.

But something in the background of his head was still fighting him. Sunny is a guy. Kel is a guy. He had always grown up in a devoted Catholic household that taught him that this was wrong. Kel, personally, didn’t care if someone else was gay. Hell, his now found feelings towards Sunny didn’t even gross him out, just confused him. He be felt like this wasn’t something he was ever supposed to feel as a Child of God. He never would have considered that an option. But here he was, his brain AND heart truly considering the offer to kiss his best friend. A guy. Sunny. It was all he felt like he wanted in his moment, which he never would have believed was possible after the meeting with Aubrey. After learning she loves him back. “Sunny-“ Kel began, unsure if this was really what was best.

“Just once.” Sunny barely managed out at an audible volume. “Just to know how we feel. I just feel so confused…” Sunny practically begged. His mind was racing with so many thoughts and emotions and in his cloudy head, this is how he would know. Kel felt like he really couldn’t fight it after that suggestion. Just one little kiss to clear up this confusion. It felt good knowing Sunny probably felt just as conflicted as Kel did. This was wrong…

To Sunny’s surprise, Kel nodded slowly. He had to know what it was like. He wasn’t sure he could go forever without knowing. Kel hesitantly laced their fingers together and looked carefully at Sunny’s features. He wasn’t sure who was supposed to lean in first. ‘God, this is getting awkward’ Kel mentally punched himself.

Kel began inching closer, Sunny’s eye fluttering shut just as their lips gently pressed together. Fireworks. It felt like electricity was coursing though them, their small kiss holding them connected. They stayed there still for a moment before Kel finally gave in and kissed him again, this time just a little more confidently. This all felt so different from his kisses with Aubrey. Kisses from Aubrey were eager and excited and comfortable. Like you’re on a rollercoaster about to drop of the first time. All those nerves and excitement were there in ever kiss with Aubrey. It was magic. Kissing Sunny was shy and unsure and…gentle. It was nice. It was like you’re floating in a cloud. It felt safe. Kel felt a type of chemistry that was just so extremely different from him and Aubrey. Not better, not worse. Just so different. Kel wondered how he was supposed to live without feeling this type of kiss ever again.

Before Kel could even finish his thought, a loud gasp filled the silent soon. Kel and Sunny’s eyes both shot open as they broke the kiss, heads turning to face a startled, yet sleepy, looking Basil who had at some point woke up just in time to witness the exchange.

“S-sunny…?” Basil choked out, eyes wide as he watched his boyfriend kissing their best friend right in front of him.

Oh fuck.