Work Text:
They spent their whole childhood together, visiting each other, strolling down their small town, sliding on the frozen lake during freezing winters, making snowmen...
It was another Christmas Eve when Nikolai noticed that every passing year there was a small, lit candle on the windowsill of Sigma's room.
Years passed and somehow they grew fond of each other. Of sweet words spoken softly under Christmas lights, of short, warm springs and light summers filled with laughter.
They finished the same high school, they were already known as best friends, but those that knew them at least a little bit more /understood/ that there was more to it.
And at one point the special Christmas candle wasn't just a tradition. It was there to show, that no matter where they are, no matter how far from each other they can be one time or another, they're waiting for each other.
They were inseparable.
"Come on, come oooooon..." the room is filled with a low buzzing of Sigma's old computer and a quieter humming of Nikolai's laptop.
On top of that, there's a constant clicking noise from both of them, when minute after a minute they refresh the same page.
"Just because you're looking at it won't make it appear faster" Kolya smiles at his boyfriend, kicking his chair to get some attention. "Sigma, hey, look at me" his smile immediately softens seeing how stressed the other is. "First of all... it's /just/ university. If not this one, we'll get to a different one, yeah?" at the light nod he continues. "Second, with your grades, I'm sure that those losers in St. Petersburg will kiss your feet if /you/ accept /their/ acceptance".
After a moment Sigma moves from his chair to the floor, hugging his boyfriend. Nikolai moves his laptop away, letting him sit on his lap, his fingers quickly disappearing in long, blonde, basically white, hair.
"You shouldn't be this stressed, my dove...".
After a moment of cuddles, Sigma goes back to his computer. Three clicks later he gasps loudly, mumbling something under his breath, and then:
"I got in! I- Kolya! I got accepted!!!" he screams pointing at his monitor, all bright smiles and flickering eyes. Nikolai looks back at him, welcoming him with another hug, feeling so, so proud. "Refresh! Refresh your page! Kolya we're going to study in St. Petersburg!".
And so he does. A quiet clicks and then his heart sinks.
There's a very polite message stating that he's been rejected.
"I... it... it seems you are going to study in St. Petersburg," he says with a polite smile, but something inside of him tells him it's not going to be pretty. All of that.
"What do you mean? I said you should refresh it and then I'm sure you-" he doesn't finish as his eyes land on the statement on the screen. "But how could they? I'm sure they had to get wrong documents, you... you should be...".
"Hey, hey, look at me, dove" he smiles lightly, kissing him on the cheek. "It's going to be okay. You're going to study there and I... I'll find a different university. Or work. And we're going to make this work".
They tried but... failed.
The distance, the lack of closure, all the problems that came along... It was just too much.
Their breakup wasn't pretty. It was the opposite. Broken promises, crying, and shouting through the phone. Neither of them thought it would end like that.
But years later Nikolai found himself walking through St. Petersburg.
And then... there it is. A lit candle in one of the windows, flickering weakly. Nikolai licks his lips, getting closer to the main gate and calling the flat he knows is of the one person once so dear to him.
"Yeah?".
"Uhm, I locked myself out of the flat! Hi, it's your neighbor, could you...". The loud buzzing indicates that the gate is already open for him.
He then stops on the first floor and before knocking he reaches to his pocket for a small candle. Lighting it up is a little bit more difficult with how shaky his hands are out of nowhere. It's been three years...
Once there's a small but steady flame, he reaches to the doors and knocks.
There's shuffling on the other side before the door opens.
For the first time in three years, they see each other again. And after all of that... it seems like it's been three days.
"Kolya..? what are you...".
"I brought the candle 'cause it's Christmas and... I... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever I said and I'm sorry for leaving you here alone and I... I hope you'd want to...".
He can't finish, because arms are circling his neck, there are warm lips on his own, there's something wet on their cheeks as they kiss again and again on the doorstep.
"So... is that a yes?".
Sigma laughs and, for Gogol, it sounds like tons of jingle bells ringing sweetly in his ears.
"Whatever you were trying to say... yes. It's a damn yes...".
It's the first time in Sigma's life that two candles are burning in the window.