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Another sleepless night. He should be used to it by now, but watching his friends lay soundly asleep is a hard pill to swallow. After being in a slumber for so long he never thought he would miss it, but not being able to quench any of his needs and desires makes waking life almost unbearable. The beast inside him making his life a living hell.
Cid had tried to get him drunk once, but after an hour of throwing back bitter drinks and sweet drinks he felt nothing. Just another moment of his friends enjoying life, while he sits and watches. Another time they stopped into a bakery and Aerith offered him a piece of cake covered in frosting and fruit. All he could sense was the textures. He gained no pleasure like she did from eating such a thing.
He did have one bit of light in his dark existence. Upon joining up with this group he noticed something different about Tifa Lockhart. They had an instant bond, almost a kinship. He felt like she was the first person that could sense how he felt in a very long time. They had synergy in battle as well as at camp. Different than she had with some of the others, specifically Cloud, but almost as they were of one mind at certain times. Sensing when the other was in need or needing comfort.
“You can't taste the food can you?” She asked him one night, noticing his reaction was much different than the others to her cooking.
“No, or at least I can’t enjoy how good it may taste. I know what it is, that I am eating a carrot, but nothing more. I am sorry if this offends you.”
She places her hand on his shoulder, and he can feel the warmth from her palm.
“I’m so sorry Vincent. If you have any requests, something you think you may remember made you happy, let me know. I’d be happy to try and make it for you.” She says with a smile.
“I do appreciate the sentiment. Thank you Tifa.”
Moments like this warmed his cold heart. The love of a friend that can be so hard to find, especially in the current state of the world. He often thought if they had some sort of bond in his past life, that neither of them remembered. He was hidden in her home town after all. Did he know her parents, maybe meet her as a child? She was far too young to have been around then, so what was it? With all the time he had not sleeping, these were the things that went through his head.
He still sat awake, staring at the low flicker of the fire as it cracked in the night. Yuffie was snoring loudly with her head on Red’s belly. Aerith and Cid both leaning on either side of Barret. He hears footsteps walking off and thinks it must be Cloud going on watch duty. Another cold lonely night, alone with his thoughts, waiting for the break of daylight. Another set of footsteps approaches from behind.
“Hey Vincent, you still up?”
He looks up and sees Tifa, returning from her watch hour and wearing a light jacket to keep herself warm.
“Always. Are you going to get some more sleep before dawn?”
“I think so, I’m still tired.” She glances at the others asleep together. “Would you mind if I join you?” She says with a shudder in her voice as she is shivering from the brisk mountain air.
“Not at all.”
Vincent shifts to his right, giving up some of the tree he was using as a back rest. She sits, cross legged, with her arms hugging her midsection to keep warm.
“You still don't ever sleep do you?”
“No, but I slept enough for one lifetime.”
He notices Tifa shivering more, now unable to move around to keep herself warm. Opening his cloak with his left arm, he throws it around her. She shuffles closer, now with her body resting against his.
“Thank you. You sure it's ok if I rest here?”
“Yes, your company is most welcome.”
Tifa takes that as reassurance and rests her head on his chest, wrapping her arm around his stomach and resting it on his hand.
“What do you think about when you can't sleep? I'm sorry that's kind of personal isnt it. You don't have to answer, I just wonder with all the extra time what goes through your mind?”
“Lots of things, how we got here, where we are going. I try to think about my past, but it's still blurry. Sometimes I don't think, and try to rest my brain just watching the fire.”
Tifa adjusts to look up at him. Her deep red eyes meet his. He can see the concern on her face, the look of empathy for a friend silently in pain. She returns to resting her head on his chest and slowly rubs his hand with her thumb.
“I’m so sorry Vincent. That's just not fair to work so hard and get no real rest.”
“It's ok Tifa, please don’t worry. I am no worse for wear.”
They continued to sit quietly watching the fire. Vincent began to focus on the rhythm of Tifa's thumb rubbing in slow, soft circles and his body begins to relax. Welcoming the soothing pressure and focusing his mind on that alone. She gives a deep exhale and he can feel her become heavier as sleep takes her. Her thumb slows to a stop as she silently falls asleep. Her breaths become deeper and deliberate and she slumps more into his side, the warmth of her seeping into Vincent. Focusing now on the beat of her heart against his arm and the sound of her breaths, his mind starts to fade. He takes a deep breath through his nose and is surprised to smell roses and a slight hint of cinnamon. It takes him deeper in his relaxation. His mind is back at that bakery with Aerith, but this time he can smell everything.
—
“Hey, Vincent. Vinny…you there?”
Vincent hears her, but doesnt want to give her the satisfaction of waking him. Yuffie flicks his forehead forcing him to open his eyes and stare at the ninja.
“Oh you are, ok, don't kill me. Sorry I just dont think I’ve seen you asleep before.”
“Good morning Yuffie.”
She scurries off and he collects himself, looking down to where he last remembered Tifa’s head resting. Daylight had broken, hours ago now as the campsite was fully covered in orange hues of morning. The others are around the fire eating their breakfast. Still slightly confused from sleep he leans away from the tree, shaking the mental cobwebs away.
“Hey you.” Tifa walks up, face bright as the morning sun. “Thanks for the company last night. You were sound asleep when I woke up. You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to ruin it.”
Tifa kneels down to his level and looks into his eyes with a smile.
“Thank you as well. Your presence clearly calmed me enough to sleep.”
“You are too sweet. Here, have some porridge. I put some cinnamon in it to spice it up a bit.”
She hands him the bowl. He could smell the same cinnamon scent she emanated last night. He smiles back at her, welcoming another moment of happiness brought on by her kindness.