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Xiao and Albedo had a difficult relationship, to say the least. Albedo had his duties within Mondstadt for the Knights of Favonius, and his younger sister Klee. He couldn’t simply abandon them. On the other hand, Xiao had his responsibilities too. His responsibilities, or rather contract, to Rex Lapis. To protect Liyue. And how was he to protect it if was not present? Yet, they both still held up their bond quite strongly. They had a deep connection, one that was uncommon to form, for both of them.
But they found that on some days when the normal routine grew too tiresome, or that the daily responsibilities were too demanding, they would meet on Dragonspine. A place not many dared to venture into. And there, in Albedo’s camp, they were safe to discuss whatever they saw necessary. It was quite the trek for both of them, especially Xiao. Traveling from Liyue, and still, having to traverse the frozen landscape. The snow did not bring back pleasant memories to him.
There was no schedule to their meetings. Somehow, someway, they simply just… knew. They knew every time. As if they had a closer connection than that of the one on the surface. And one morning, Albedo felt this feeling, this urge to go to his camp. There were so many thoughts stirring throughout his mind, and he wanted to escape. To escape to a place where only he and Xiao could be. In peace. And so, he packed his things and began his trip.
= + =
When Albedo arrived at his camp, he found Xiao already there waiting for him. Immediately, Albedo could tell something was wrong. It wasn’t written on Xiao’s face persay, he had his usual uninterested expression. But instantly something struck him as off. He wondered, what could it be?
“Xiao, lovely to see you again.” He said warmly, announcing his presence. Xiao perked up.
“Yes. You as well.” He responded, refusing to look Albedo in the eye. Plus, he noticed Xiao was speaking rather stiffly. Albedo wasted no time getting to the point. Of course, they had both come here for a reason.
“What’s wrong? Somethings bothering you.” Xiao glanced up in Albedo’s direction. He didn’t expect for the alchemist to figure him out so fast. Albedo may not be the best at building or maintaining relationships, but he sure as hell can read people.
“It’s nothing. Nothing a mortal such as you would understand” He spoke coldly, looking away, his gaze fixated on one of Albedo’s many bookshelves.
“A mortal such as me? Now I know for certain something’s upset you. What was it?” Albedo questioned him. Xiao cringed at his own choice of words.
“Nothing of your concern. Now as to why I’m here.” Xiao stood up from the chair he previously sat on and looked Albedo straight in the eyes.
“What’s all of this about-“ Albedo tried to push further but was quickly interrupted.
“Silence. The more you speak, the more difficult you make it.” Albedo was shocked. This person was so different than the Adeptus he knew. Xiao took a deep breath to steady himself. “We shouldn’t meet anymore. Let’s end this… connection here.” Xiao stopped speaking and turned his face away.
“End this? Xiao, what are you going on about?” Albedo stepped closer, a mix of concern and confusion blooming on his face.
“Goodbye, Albedo.” Xiao began to walk away from the camp.
“Xiao!” Just as the yaksha began to leave the warmth emitted by the nearby torches, Albedo firmly gripped his wrist. “You aren’t leaving me! Especially with no explanation!” He cried. Albedo took a mental step back. He wasn’t thinking when those words came out of his mouth.
“I have no obligation to explain myself to you. This was a mistake from the beginning.” Xiao tried to tug his wrist away, but Albedo’s grip remained firmly planted.
“What was a mistake, Xiao?” He asked, a lump forming in his throat. Albedo had long since realized relationships were difficult. No matter whom they were with. But in his core, Albedo knew he didn’t want Xiao to leave. He needed him. Because with Xiao, he felt as if there was someone who understood.
“This… Us.” With every word Xiao spoke, Albedo’s heart ached just a little more. They had a very close bond, yes, but he doubted either of them would act to make anything more of it. An immortal adeptus and Albedo. Albedo, an artificial human.
“Xiao please-“ Albedo begged, only to be cut off again.
“Albedo, we’re done here. I must return to Liyue. So I beg of you, let go.” Xiao looked back with a pained look that met Albedo’s morose eyes. But his grip only tightened, tears gently starting to form.
“No. You’re mistaken.” He spoke shakily.
“Mistaken? I don’t have time for your mind games Albedo. I said my goodbyes, now, please, let go. I do not wish to use force on a mere mortal such as yourself.” Xiao again tried to leave, but couldn’t bring himself to tear away from Albedo’s grip.
“You’re wrong.” Albedo’s stomach began to feel hollowed out. Fear. Fear is what this feeling that bubbled inside him was. Fear of Xiao leaving him, fear of being alone, fear of telling Xiao the truth… The truth that, at times, even he couldn’t bear.
“What are you trying to say Albedo?” Xiao turned towards him. “Are you insinuating…” He trailed off. He didn’t want to finish his sentence.
“That I am not mortal?” Albedo sighed. “Yes. But you see, I don’t quite know the answer to this question. And I promise, it’s no game. I wish to tell you. If you’ll allow me. If you’ll stay”. Xiao’s heart fluttered just a bit. There was hope here. Hope for him; him and Albedo. And hope was a rare thing for him to possess. After a few moments of contemplation, he responded.
“Very well. I will let you explain this phenomenon to me. But you must let me leave afterward.” He said with a cold demeanor.
“Alright. May we… sit?” Albedo moved his tight grip down from Xiao’s wrist, to his hand, which he then gently squeezed. He guided them over to the two chairs he kept propped up by his easel. He had yet to have a chance to draw the Adeptus. but he had studied his features extensively. The way his hair perfectly mixed the teal and black, the way his light red eyeliner complemented his amber eyes. The way the small diamond on his forehead almost matched the one on Albedo’s neck. He had found that the little details in one’s appearance that were the most intricate, were also the best to paint.
Xiao sat down and spoke no words. It was Albedo’s turn. Albedo too took a seat, but he didn’t let go of Xiao’s hand. He moved their chairs closer together and gripped Xiao’s hand a little tighter.
“I’ll be honest with you. I’ve been keeping a secret.” He paused and sighed in frustration. “Oh Barbatos, it’s stupid. Why can’t I just come out with it?” Xiao suddenly squeezed his hand back, giving him a little push, one Albedo did not expect. But it also gave him a little pain, reminding him that once this was over, Xiao would likely leave.
“You… you can tell me anything Albedo.” He spoke up. Albedo looked at him softly, and he could feel a melancholy beat in his core. He gave him a sweet smile, and finally, he spoke the words.
“I’m not mortal.”He came out with it. “At least, I’m not sure of it yet. Though my current lifespan has much exceeded that of the average mortals. I am human, but, I am also…” He pondered, looking for the right word. “Artificial.” Xiao only looked back with a mystified expression.”
“Artificial? What do you mean?” Xiao was dumbfounded. An artificial living being? This was the first he had heard anything of the sort.
“Yes, I’m an artificial human. An artificial life. A homunculus is the official term.” He raised his free hand and gently put his fingers on the star that resided on his neck. The mark that everyday, reminded him he was fake. He averted his gaze downwards. Whether out of shame or out of fear, he was not sure. This was only a truth he had only told the Traveler before, and he trusted them. Just as he trusted Xiao. But it was different with him. His heart was beating rapidly, his hands were clammy, and he felt extremely shaky. And Xiao’s silence was making it worse. But for Xiao, there were no words needed. Instead, he pulled Albedo towards him, and as the knight fell into him, he took the hand that wasn’t clutching him to his head and held him close, sticking his face into Albedo’s fluffy blonde hair.
The alchemist’s face rested against Xiao’s chest, their intertwined hands out in the open, his own propped up against Xiao’s chest, while the Adeptus’ hand, and face, were ruffled into the hair of the other.
“Xiao?” He asked tenderly.
“I’m- I’m sorry Albedo.” He could hear the instability in his voice.
“What happened Xiao? What occurred to make you like this?” Albedo said, leaning further into him, cherishing this moment. He stayed silent for a few moments. This answer had a history and a long one at that. He took a deep breath, steadying himself.
“I realized something. One day… you won’t be there, Albedo.” Xiao spoke while lifting his face slightly from Albedo’s hair, tears forming in the grooves of his eyes.
“At first, I could only question you. You were just a mortal to me. But you had such a strange effect. You made me feel… a certain way. I cannot find the words, but when you were around my heart would jump at the comments you made, and the thought of me being there with you, filled me with something I didn’t know I could feel... These emotions are ones I have long since felt.” Xiao paused.
“Yet at the same time, you were so much more than a mortal to me. I don’t know what you did to me, that made me like this, but I love you Albedo. So much. And I hate it. I hate that I love you. All my years on this earth, and I’ve found attachment only brings pain. The happiness is temporary. I thought this could be evaded with my fellow Yaksha’s, but even they fell victim to the erosion brought with time. It even got to Rex Lapis… and soon, it will come to you. I have found it more useful to not intertwine myself with others. To keep to myself. So that when they eventually leave, I won’t feel the pain of losing someone else, and you, Albedo,” Xiao held him just a little tighter. “I love you so much now, that the thought of you being not there one day hurts. I love you so much, that the inevitable day you leave me, will hurt, it will hurt so much that I don’t know if I’ll survive.” Xiao let the tears fall from his eyes, and as they rolled down his cheeks they dropped down into the knight’s hair.
Albedo raised his face from Xiao’s chest, looking at him face to face. He gently brushed away the tears on his face, then cupped Xiao’s face in his hand gingerly, and the Yaksha leaned into it.
“Xiao. I’m not planning on leaving you any time soon. And if you dare to leave me again, I promise you, just as I did this time, I will bring you back because, without you, I’m not sure that the pain in my heart would ever stop.” Xiao, looking up to meet Albedo’s gaze, met his soft, genuine expression. Albedo leaned in, and moved his hand down to Xiao's chin, just about to kiss him, and before he did, he softly spoke “I love you too,” Before gently pressing his lips to Xiao's and closing his eyes, meanwhile, the amber ones were still open in shock, as he was still trying to process everything. But he did not object towards Albedo's advances. Then he too closed his eyes and melted into the kiss. When they broke apart they only looked at each other. There were no words that needed to be said. They knew that through thick and thin, rain or shine, they would be there for each other.