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laughing at your own expense

Summary:

shoudeki ends up in a parallel universe.

things happen(?)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter Text

shoudeki doesn't exactly know how he ends up at UA. 

 

it's midday, the sun high in a cloudless sky. he can't even be on the grounds- he doesn't have a pass. the entire situation gives his brain a run for his money. 

 

so he does the smart thing, and tries to walk away. 

 

 

he's back at the front door of UA. the boy blinks twice, glancing around and trying to see evidence of what the fuck is happening.  shoudeki squints and turns around to walk away again. 

 

this time, he doesn't make two steps before his mind is cleared and he's back at the door. 

 

because really, why shouldn't he comply to the universe, right? 

 

so he walks in. shoudeki shoves his hands into his pockets and simply strolls into UA like he's meant to be there. nobody visible is in the halls, more than likely in the middle of class.

 

he doesn't know where he should be going, simply strolling left and right like he would to avoid mission reports in a past life. the overly large doors seem odd- though at a hero school he guesses they account for all quirks. humming, he turns yet another corner, and smacks into someone. 

 

because why wouldn't he. 

 

shoudeki, curse his tiny nature, throws his hands up to stop himself from a fall. whoever he bumped into catches him easily, a startled, 

 

"woah, hey there-" and present mic squats down before him. "you alright, little listener? quite a run-in there! very sorry!"

 

he knows who present mic is. even without the hero-costume, the hair and glasses gives it away. as well as the voice because ow.

 

he collects himself before he answers, squinting up at the man. "aa, it's fine. i should've been paying attention. big school and all, you know."

 

it seems to occur to present mic exactly where they are. and more importantly, how out of place shoudeki is.

 

"say, little man, what're you doing running around here?" mic looks at him over his glasses, raising his brows, "this probably isn't where you should be."

 

shoudeki, well, shoudeki panics and says "my dad goes here."

 

mic blinks. "your dad? who would that be?"

 

he curses himself twice over, and once more for good measure. "um. does that really matter, sir?"

 

"it does."

 

shoudeki's slowly backing away from the man. universe-encouraging-teleportation or not, he wasn't one who liked being caught. with the last drops of confidence in him, he mumbles.

 

"ah well, you probably don't know him. black mask, grey hair, pretty tall. mismatched eyes, the norm." he rattles off, knowing well there's not a soul like that here.

 

"oh!" mic perks up for a moment, "i do know who you're talking about!"

 

because why wouldn't he.

 

then mic falters, glasses tilting a bit. "but you said dad. not… not even really-close older brother?"

 

shoudeki shakes his head. at his denial, mic seems to bluescreen for a moment. the blonde shakes himself, rubbing his hands over his eyes like the thought gives him a headache.

 

which, fair. if there's a kakashi-look-alike here, and he suddenly had a son, shoudeki would freak out too.

 

mic mumbles something about irresponsible decisions, and being only fifteen. this connects the dots as to why mic's freaking out. man, shoudeki vaguely feels bad for whatever kid he's blaming this on.

 

"what's your name, little listener?"

 

shoudeki debates changing it for a moment. it's possible they wouldn't even know. alas, keeping hid actual one would be so much easier. "it's shoudeki."

 

"alright, okay," mic says again, standing up and offering shoudeki a hand. "c'mon shoudeki, let's get you somewhere better than the hallway."

 

"i could just leave," shoudeki mutters, but grabs the adult's hand anyway.

 

the pro-hero leads him to a door labeled 'teacher's lounge' and he almost runs away then. he's done his research, and honestly, he's not facing aizawa if he doesn't have to no matter what universe.

 

but mic leads him inside anyway. 

 

thankfully, it's during class hours. there are only three teachers in there without including mic. he doesn't recognize the other two(a scraggly blonde man, and a cowboy-lookalike) but he easily picks out pro-hero midnight.

 

seeing her in-person makes him want to cover his own face in embarrassment. he had to respect the woman, being able to wear that in the open without reservation. 

 

"ah! hizashi!" said woman perks up, waving the blonde over. mic shoots him a short look of apology, before telling the woman to wait a moment.

 

"hey, little listener, go ahead and sit at my desk over there!" he points to a desk with at least four pairs of headphones on the monitor, "i'll be there in a moment!"

 

shoudeki nods, desperately wanting this venture to end. mic waves him off, and goes to his coworker. the black-haired boy sighs through his nose before settling into the chair. 

 

he decides to be nice and not eavesdrop. instead he looks at the crowded desktop, radio awards and hero memorabilia in every corner. next to the computer, however, is something interesting.

 

it's a photo of mic, aizawa(gross, who wants to even look at that?), and a kid who looks like him. 

 

not him, him though. the teen doesn't look like shoudeki. he looks like kakashi. his mask and hair color line up, but the hair isn't spiked and sharp, rather flared up and smooth. this isn't the most important part. the teen has a sharingan. the red eye in the exact socket he used to have his own. 

 

shoudeki's hands clench around the desks edge, stricken even at an old memory. he's long since made peace with his grief- in his own way. but seeing it glaring right in his eye in an entirely different dimension raises some questions. 

 

so, he asks.

 

or plans to, because present mic is still talking to midnight. when the pro hero makes his way to shoudeki, it's with an air of caution.

 

"hey, little man! sorry about that. you doin' alright?"

 

shoudeki nods, before pointing to the photo, "who's that? the one with the mask?"

 

mic blinks at him, "you… don't know him?"

 

shoudeki blinks twice, deadpan. why would he ask if he did?

 

he watches the pro hero scramble for a moment, before the blonde smiles and waves his hands. "ah, that's just hitoshi, and the black-haired one is shouta! they're my family."

 

"can i see him," is what shoudeki asks next. he doesn't have much tact, but really he left all of that in konoha. 

 

present mic hums, rubbing his chin. "i don't think it'd hurt, but we'd have to wait until class ends. can i ask why?"

 

shoudeki opens his mouth and closes it. he doesn't know how to explain this. what would he say? 'oh yes, sorry, present mic-san, but he kind of reminds me of myself. not as i am now, you see. way back when i was in another universe. and a ninja. and forty-something.' 

 

"he reminds me of someone," shoudeki speaks carefully.

 

mic nods at him easily enough but sighs all the same. he tells shoudeki to stay here until class ends, that he'll meet 'hitoshi' later.

 

then he leaves.

 

which shoudeki will easily take. alone time(that isn't really alone, there's two other people in here) is absolutely welcome.

 

-

 

he lasts ten minutes.

 

ten minutes on his own, before he finally twitches. the blonde man's intermittent coughing kept him zoned out and in for only so long. midnight is staring at him, oddly enough. she squints when they make eye-contact and spares him a brief smile. in return he only blinks.

 

apparently, she gets her answer through that. midnight settles back into her chair with a smug air around her. 

 

shoudeki doesn't care enough to stay silent. "what was that for?"

 

she huffs a laugh- maybe of surprise, maybe of humor, "what was what for, kiddo?"

 

"that- that look!" he says. 

 

"hmm… i'm not sure i know what you mean."

 

he narrows his eyes at her, glaring. obviously his little-baby-face isn't too intimidating as she smiles wider at him. midnight sticks her tounge out like a kid and speaks again.

 

"sorry, buddy!" she giggles, "you're just so grumpy, just as easy to tease as aizawa-san, you know?"

 

shoudeki decides to ignore her then. she's already annoying, and has something to do with aizawa. that's at least negative five brownie points. he doesn't mind hizashi so far though; which could be mostly nostalgia for a bowl-cut menace. 

 

he doesn't think any further down that path. 

 

instead, he's distracted by an alarm shouting through the halls. shoudeki twitches purely on reflex. the boy's hand wants to reach into a pouch that no longer rests on his hip. his eyes close tighter and when he opens them, midnight is staring again. 

 

"that's the period bell," she says. she sounds softer than before and it grates a bit on shoudeki's nerves. he wills himself not to be so irritated, but there's only so much he can do.

 

shoudeki nods. "ah. thank you, midnight-san."

 

the pro-hero's eyebrow jumps, and she turns in her chair to face him better. "you know who i am?"

 

"it's hard not to know," he mutters, rubbing at his nape. 

 

midnight leans her chin in a hand, "how so? i don't usually advertise for little-er kids,"

 

"i have my ways," he says, simply.

 

she leans forward, as if to ask him further, but the doors open. they're both caught off-guard- swinging to look the door. the blonde man over on the left coughs a couple times.

 

shoudeki thinks he should get that checked out.

 

mic walks in first, talking to- gross -aizawa. behind them both, slouched in a more-than-familiar stance, is 'hitoshi'. shoudeki stares at him and wills the teen to look his way.

 

he doesn't. 

 

the adults now circle around shoudeki. mic squats down a bit again, and introduces the other two in person. said blonde catches the tension coming from him. shoudeki largely ignores aizawa for his own good.

 

"ah, well," present mic shifts, telling aizawa something with his eyes, "we'll be back in a bit. stay safe."

 

the adults move away. shoudeki finally makes eye contact with 'hitoshi'. he mulls words over in his head, deciding what to say. he doesn't exactly know which time this kakashi is from-

 

if it's even a kakashi. for all he knows, he was led here to change bodies and become this guy. 

 

"hey," shoudeki says, very intelligently. 

 

'hitoshi' twitches his left eye. "yo."

 

and then the stare-off begins. 'hitoshi' seems stiff, like he's searching for something. shoudeki merely stares like he's deciding what to order for lunch. 

 

"so, konoha," he sighs, stretching his arms above his head, "am i right?" 

 

'hitoshi' pauses, squinting at him like he's never seen a kid before. he rocks back on his heels and clicks his tounge. "not sure i know what you mean."

 

"maa, i see then, so that sharingan was stolen-" 

 

thats when 'hitoshi' takes him seriously. the boy tenses so quickly, his gaze becoming searing on shoudeki. it then occurs to them both how open their conversation is. 

 

'hitoshi' squats down, face a perfect mask like he's just humoring the boy. shoudeki stares right back with curved eyes. 

 

"who are you," the grey-haired teen asks almost silently.

 

"i'd wager you know already!" shoudeki shrugs, turning sideways in mic's chair, legs over the arm. "birds of a reincarnated feather and that sort of thing."

 

'hitoshi' twitches. violently. he breathes out heavily and god shoudeki never thought messing with himself was so fun. 

 

the raven tilts his head and hums, "so, when'd you die? pein, tobi, madara, kaguya? i could go on and on, you know. there was also this thing with naruto's son-"

 

"pein," hitoshi says as if on command, and then, "there was more after that?"

 

shoudeki nods almost tiredly, "yep, too much to add. so did you meet dad again in-?"

 

hitoshi zeroes in on him, eyes narrow, "maa, i don't think i've seen him, no."

 

"oh wow. yikes, i'm older than you." 

 

"you're older?" 

 

a hidden grin works its way up onto his face, "by a decade or so, i believe. too much work to count. do you have a mom, here?"

 

"what?" his other self chokes out, pained.

 

"i have one. well, in what i suppose is a parallel of wherever you landed." shoudeki doesn't quite know why he's acting this way- he supposes its a mix of kiddy-nerves and thinking about his past. 

 

"okay," hitoshi says, flapping a hand, "so you're… me? but older. in the mental sense."

 

shoudeki nods, then stops, "eh, well maybe. i could be seventeen for all you know."

 

hitoshi blinks and looks over him. with amused eyes, he tilts his head, "maybe… if you weren't so tiny."

 

"tiny? i'm not tiny." shoudeki denies, very seriously looking the other in the eyes, "i'm very big for my age, i'll have you know. just growing into it."

 

"right, of course," hitoshi smiles, patronizing.

 

"i'm literally you. you're doing this to yourself"

 

"i've transcended every emotion at this point. also, the big kids are watching us." he points out, waving a bit at his pseudo-parents.

 

shoudeki tells hitoshi he's got about four seconds to take that statement back. he does not. the raven bemoans his age and sets a very serious hand on hitoshi's shoulder

 

"listen," he sighs, "i need to let you know something. important."

 

hitoshi nods easily enough, "go for it." 

 

"i made mic think you're my dad. you know, i really just described kakashi and hoped for the best but-"

 

"what?" hitoshi chokes, again. 

 

"-i think asking who you were kind of curbed suspicion. mostly," shoudeki hums, "but it would be a good cover story for why i'm here. masks could be genetic, you know."

 

the grey-haired teen buries his face in his hands, sighing. "you're so… relaxed. it's not even fake relaxed."

 

"and you're really high-strung."

 

"you aren't? we're in another dimension, after dying, and you're-" hitoshi shakes his head, "are you even planning to be a hero? are you a vigilante? what progress are you making, even?"

 

shoudeki looks at him like hitoshi's the crazy one. "i'm like, 10? why would i be? i train with-"

 

he stops, abruptly. the boy's eyebrows pull down and his expression falls flat at a moment's notice. it takes hitoshi a second to notice he's looking at something behind them. 

 

"train?" aizawa asks, slouching and leaning over hitoshi's crouched form. "what do you mean, train?"

 

shoudeki stays silent. even at hitoshi's stare, his variant doesn't move. so, he takes the lead. 

 

"shoudeki here, ah-" hitoshi waves a hand towards him, "-wants to be a hero. i asked him if he's researched anything about training for it."

 

aizawa blinks and accepts his answer. his eyes move over to the boy. when the man speaks, he's soft-spoken; assuming shoudeki's closed off or shy.

 

"that's admirable, kid. just don't do it the illegal way." he says, glancing between hitoshi and shoudeki. 

 

hitoshi hopes he didn't hear the shoudeki-possibly-related-to-him story. 

 

shoudeki narrows his eyes at the adult. "i'll try my best. no promises." 

 

for something that's meant to be a joke, it falls flat. he says it like a warning, or the end of a conversation. obviously not wanting to speak to aizawa.

 

the tired-looking man takes the hint quickly. he moves away with only a fleeting glance at hitoshi. mic takes his place with an easy smile and bends down with both of the kids.

 

"yo, listeners!" he pats hitoshi on the back, "hitoshi, shouta wants'ta speak with you."

 

shoudeki squints at the man again. he shifts his position so he's sitting normally, looking over the blonde. he's obviously aizawa's partner- or something of the like -in this parallel. hitoshi leaves them with a near-silent sigh. 

 

"so, little man, where do you live? we can't just have you roaming on campus."

 

"i don't see why not," shoudeki hums, lighter without the presence of aizawa. absently, he moves a hand to brush his hair away. mic watches the movement for a second and his eyes dart over to eraserhead. 

 

shoudeki leaves his shoulders loose. mic stares at him for a moment, green on green. 

 

"have you ever heard of ms. joke?" he asks, hoping to deflate some of the tension. shoudeki slouches backwards into the chair. "she's probably my favorite hero."

 

mic tilts his head, "really? didn't peg you as the type."

 

shoudeki nods. he's ever-thankful for mic allowing the change in conversation. "yeah. she's pretty cool. pretty much can incapacitate someone, and fight 'em down after. simple and efficient."

 

"aa, i suppose you're right! unique taste you have. not many realize how well she works,"

 

"i guess i look underneath the underneath," he smiles under his mask; an almost invisible thing. 

 

mic's eyes do something he can't quite place. dart from the two members of his family talking in the corner and back to shoudeki. the hero smiles at him again and stands up fully.

 

"we ought'ta make our way over to those two then, shouldn't we?" present mic asks.

 

the kid nods, reluctantly, and hops off of the chair. shoudeki follows him over towards the other two, subtly inching away from aizawa. with a great heaving sigh he crosses his arms. the heroes look at him, before looking at each other once again.

 

"so, kid," aizawa starts off, "let's figure out where you belong, hm?"