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Red adjusted his tie, checked his hat, ensured the roses were perky and not wilting, before ringing the doorbell. He was visiting his boyfriend, Sans, today on his rare day off. He didn’t tell Sans his exact job-he went for the ‘office worker’ backstory-but sometimes he wished to retire and just…do whatever the hell he wanted some days.
They hadn’t been dating long, really. About three weeks if he recalled right, and he was already head over heels for the little skeleton.
…then again literally everyone was smaller than him at seven feet…
He shook himself out of his head when the door opened, Sans’ smiling face lighting up once he saw Red. “Hey! You’re early! Is that flowers?” he asked, taking the bouquet he was given and exchanging a kiss with the larger skeleton.
“Heh, yeah, figured ya’d like ‘em,” Red purred, a flush on his face as Sans turned, plunking the roses in a small vase nearby. It was in the shape of a fish colored in vibrant colors. Red assumed it was Sans’ brother’s doing. He ducked inside after Sans, shutting the door behind him as he started pulling off his coat. “An’ you know I like bein’ early.”
“I know, I know,” Sans chuckled, darting through a doorway to what Red assumed was a kitchen. “But my dad’s come by and I didn’t know…”
Oh? Sans’ dad? He’d talked about him a little, how his dad was super busy lately with ‘new hires’, that he was some big hotshot that Red equated with a CEO. Either way, while normally a month was a bit early to meet parents, he didn’t much mind it. “Sounds uh, fun?”
“Yeah!” Sans popped his head out, winking at Red and jerking his head to the doorway, inviting him into the kitchen before ducking back in. “Come sit down before he comes back from the washroom.”
Ah. He must be old fashioned then. Red shrugged, shuffling his way out of the living room. It was nice, and he could see a few photos of Sans and what he imagined was Papyrus when he was younger, plus a few friends in some photos. The TV was off, and someone’s-Sans’ dad?-phone was laid on the nearby table. It was a flip phone.
Oh yeah. Old fashioned.
He pulled off his hat as he sat down-manners, you know!-and loosened his tie a bit. Sans had gone all out for their dinner date, two candles lit on the table, plates of spaghetti with garlic bread in a fancy basket. Wine in a bottle. A third plate for Sans’ dad.
“Sorry,” Sans apologized, shutting the fridge as he brought over a large chocolate cake, giving Red a moment to look him over. Beautiful, as always. Sans wore a soft white sweater, sweatpants, socks. He just looked so cozy, Red wanted to scoop him up and kiss him! “Dad said he didn’t want to impose, but you know it is when family comes over.”
“Oh yeah, I’m always buggin’ my bro ta eat,” he chuckled, leaning over to peck Sans on the cheek when he leaned to place the cake down. “ ‘Sides, just means I can make an impression on yer pa.”
Sans blushed, swatting him lightly as he laughed and took a seat across from Red, leaving an empty one for his dad beside them. “You charmer, you. Dad can be a bit harsh though, but I told him-“
“To be nice,” came a low voice, and Red turned around slightly to see the mysterious skeleton.
“Yeah, Dad, be nice,” Sans had a warning tone in his voice, although it was washed out from Red’s ears as his soul started to be nervously.
A tall skeleton stood in the doorway of Sans’ kitchen. He wore a pinstripe shirt, slacks, and a pen that glinted in the light was nestled in a breast pocket. He had the flip phone in hand, opened, staring down at it as if it had personally insulted him before he closed it. One open eye trailed up, a smile floating onto his face. “A pleasure to meet the one who’s caught my son’s eye pip.”
W. D. Motherfucking Gaster.
Red felt himself start to sweat, but there was no panicking in the view of someone higher than him. Instead, he swallowed, his throat feeling dry. “Good to meet you…sir.”
Sans sighed, palms up on the table. “Dad, come on, don’t be rude.”
“Apologies. I’m Wingdings Gaster. You’ve obviously met my son.” The man-the legend himself-strode across the linoleum and took up space on the right side of the table. Idly, Red wondered if he’d light up here and now, completing the look, but no. Instead, he picked up a wine glass that had somehow become filled between Sans chattering and Red seeing him, taking a slow sip before settling it down on the table. “Sans tells me you work for a…law firm?”
That smarmy bastard knew exactly what he was doing, but Red wanted to keep his head-heh-and his life, so he merely nodded slowly. “Yessir. Paperwork. I’m a lackey, I guess you could say.” His words came out measured and slow, careful not to trigger any ire.
Gaster appeared immensely impressed and entertained, until Sans interrupted them. “Dad, c’mon, you said you wouldn’t interrogate him,” he groaned. “This was our lunch date that you said you wouldn’t interrupt too much!”
Stars, help him, he hadn’t known that Gaster had also taken a day off to…visit his son? Sons? Did he visit Papyrus too? Not that Red should ever ask, what one did on their day off was not his business, but…
Gaster smiled, chuckling at Sans as if they were both teenagers and not grown adults, taking a napkin to fold in his lap. “Apologies, son. I never get to tease you two anymore, it’s fun doing so.”
Red was about to combust, he was sure of it. Instead, he slapped a big grin on his face when Sans looked at him with a sigh. “This is what I have to deal with.”
“Heh, aw, ain’t bad. My dad’s a bit the same.” If by the same he meant a meddling jerk that tended more to stalk his own children instead of literally talking to them at times, then yeah, same. “It’s good ta have yer dad checkin’ on ya.”
“Eh, if you say so,” Sans shrugged, taking up his own wine glass for a moment. “Although, I’d rather ya go and bother Pap about his date.”
“Already done,” Gaster said with an amused smile. “I’d like to know more about you, Red. How did you two meet, again?”
A test, it had to be. There was no way Sans didn’t tell him that. But on the other hand, what if Sans hadn’t mentioned it? What if all he’d told Gaster was he’d gotten a boyfriend? Or what if he made up a lie? He hesitantly grabbed up the wine glass, throwing Sans a smile after noticing it had been filled. “Ain’t nothin’ too romantic, heh. Was rainin’, found him at the bus stop. Offered an umbrella, then we both got splashed by the bus, heh.”
“Had to hide out in Muffet’s shop ‘cause the storm got worse,” Sans laughed, but there was no telling from Gaster’s expression. Just a small smile as he listened and sipped. “She got mad at us, then we started laughing because her little spiders tried to measure us.”
“Kept slippin’ on raindrops!” Red laughed, both of them cackling away. It was probably one of the worst ways to meet someone, slipping on slick floors as spiders watched you, your hat flying in the air only to fall on the other person’s head with a wet slap.
“Interesting,” was all they got as they started to catch their breath, lapsing into a small silence. “Sans, would you mind grabbing something from the washroom? I left a gift for Papyrus there.”
“Dad,” Sans groaned, looking from him to Red and back again with a frown. “Really?” Gaster just smiled, so Sans rolled his eye pips, standing up and pecking a kiss to Red’s cheek. “I’ll be back~” he left the half drunk wine glass behind, and Red could feel himself start to sweat under Gaster’s watchful gaze.
“I think you know what I may say.” Red gave a quick snappy nod, as he had often done in the ‘office’. “Good! I’m so glad we understand each other.” Gaster laced his fingers together, the wine gone from his glass along with the food, when he’d eaten it Red was unsure. “My children are the light of my life, as I’ve informed so many people over the years.”
Oh damn. The speech. Which was colored over the fact that it was not just a normal father to son’s datemate speech. No.
This was boss to subordinate speech.
“I’ve done far worse things to people for far less, you understand.”
Damn, did he.
“But I am an agreeable man. I understand break-ups and the like, heartaches when things don’t work out.” He smiled wider, a shark’s grin on a man who held the world on a platter. “But don’t think for one moment I won’t make your life a living hell if you so much as make him frown.”
Red felt five inches tall as he sunk in on himself, nodding faster with each word. “Ye-Yessir, I, I definitely understand, sir.”
“Good!” Gaster clapped his hands, standing abruptly as he grabbed up the familiar flip phone that Red couldn’t believe he didn’t recognize before. “I should get going, I honestly came just to annoy Sans a little but this was far more entertaining. I will see you tomorrow and give you your assignment then.” He paused, a devilish grin on his face crinkling the lone working eye socket. “Have a great day off, Red.”
And he was gone leaving a smell of gunpowder and cologne, Red’s soul about to heave ho from his chest as he sat there. He hadn’t even gotten to touch the food yet, but he already felt sick to his stomach. Sans appeared just when the front door shut, looking confused. “There was no package. That was Dad’s way of trying to talk to you, huh?”
Red just gave a slight nod as Sans sighed, settling in the seat across from Red. He hesitated, then dragged the seat around the table to sit next to the larger skeleton, leaning on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, he’s overbearing at the best of times,” Sans shook his head as Red laughed nervously, hesitantly putting his arm around Sans’ shoulders.
“I’m good, heh. He uh, he’s only moderately scary.”
“Don’t lie, dude. He can make anyone apologize even if they’ve not done a damn thing wrong.” Oh wasn’t that the truth. Red chuckled, nodding and clunking their heads together playfully.
“You’re sure right there.”
“Yeah, when he said he recognized you from work, I thought he was joking,” Sans snorted. “It’d be ironic to get in a relationship with one of dad’s goons, but you’re new I guess, huh?”
Wait.
Wait just a damn minute.
Wait just-
“What.”
Sans’ shoulders started to shake as he hid his giggling, and Red made a noise like a stepped on squeaky toy as he got up, holding Sans by the shoulders while the other laughed. “You know who your dad is and you LEFT HIM WITH ME?!”
“Stars, Red, Dad hasn’t offed an employee in a year or two,” Sans rolled his eye pips, ducking from Red’s grip to stand on the chair with a teasing grin. “But then, I’ve not been dating one of ‘em either.”
Red made another squeaky noise, sinking to the floor as he cradled his head in his hands. “I legit thought I was about to die. I thought he was going ta kill me an’ had done it before an’ made ya think ya just had bad luck or some shit in relationships.”
“Oh, no, dude, how can I not know my dad’s head of the local mafia? I’ve been kidnapped since I was born about 50 times,” he snorted, hopping off the chair and then sliding into Red’s lap with a cheeky grin. “What? You thought I was an innocent little skeleton in all this?”
Red groaned louder, plopping his head on Sans’ shoulder as he sighed. “…maybe?”
“As if,” Sans laughed, patting Red’s back sweetly. “I know how to disassemble a gun faster than you can blink.”
“That’s hot.”
Sans burst out into laughter as the nervous energy was cut finally, both of them bursting into giggles every so often before Red sighed. “You think yer dad’s gonna…?”
“Kill you? No. Annoy you forever? Probably,” Sans shrugged, nudging Red back up so they could get back to their date. “But don’t worry, ‘kay? Even if we don’t work out, even if things go to pot, I’ll tell Dad not to kill ya.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You’re welcome, sugar bear,” Sans made a kissy face at him and Red flicked a piece of garlic bread at him. “Rude!”
Red sighed, leaning back in his chair with a chuckle. “So the boss’ kid and a hitman, huh? Sounds like one of them trashy romance novels my bro likes so much.”
“Look, right, the fault is the fact that we live in a damn small town,” Sans chuckled, ripping a piece of bread to dab in the spaghetti sauce. “It’s your fault you moved here.”
“Yeah,” Red sighed, a goofy smile on his face as he watched Sans take a bite, a little bit of sauce on the edge of his mouth. “…don’t think I’d change my mind though, heh.” The way Sans’ face lit up, a bit of a blue blush, looking soft and happy…yeah, no, even if he knew he’d be falling for the boss’ son and probably endangering his life somehow, he’d still not change a single thing.
Future him would grumble a little considering Gaster would send him on long missions away from town, leading to only phone calls between him and Sans, but present him still would not change a thing.
For now, he focused on dinner, both of them trading puns about noodles and sipping wine, feeding each other garlic bread now that they had no audience for it. And then, late into the night, he would go home, tie askew, hat crooked, floating on cloud nine for days on end.
Not even Gaster sending him to almost be shot a few times by an enraged shopkeeper could dampen his spirits, but that was a tale for another day.