Work Text:
November 23
“Who the hell blasts Christmas music at 2 am,” Jisung groaned into his pillow. Ever since the person above him moved in they have been playing Christmas music all day long and well into the night. No care for their neighbors.
No one in Jisung’s apartment building seemed very keen on Christmas, it was one of the things that drew Jisung to this building two years ago. Well, that and the cheap rent. For a broke, sad, and homeless 18 year old, this place was a miracle. two years later Jisung can confidently say no one gives a shit about shit in this place and it's perfect.
Until his upstairs neighbor moved in.
That little Christmas elf—whoever they were—blasted Christmas music from the moment they moved in and has set off the fire alarm thrice now. Jisung heard murmurs that they were making Christmas cookies and burnt them.
Jisung wasn't an inherently angry person—sad yes—but confrontational, no. But he was so, so close.
A little bit later Jisung heard the music begin to fade but that was just him finally falling asleep.
~~
November 27
Jisung hates this time of year—if that wasn't obvious enough already. The cheesy Christmas songs, the smells of cinnamon, fresh cookies, and hot chocolate. It was all so triggering. The giving of gifts and spending time with family and friends. It's all fake. No one ever gives gifts out of the kindness of their hearts, they do it because they have bratty kids who whine for the newest toys and electronics or they do it to show off to others. If Christmas was really about family or love, Jisung’s-
Jisung’s thoughts are interrupted by Deck the halls and that was his last straw. It brought back so many awful memories he spent 2 years trying to bury.
He hopped off his couch and grabbed a hoodie. His anger carried his legs up the stairs to the 8th floor. Jisung walked with determination and when he got to the door he knocked on it. When the occupant of Santa's workshop didn't answer, Jisung knocked again and harder.
“Coming!” Jisung heard the voice say from behind the door. When the door swung open Jisung was stunned to see it was a guy in a literal elf hat. His cheeks were pink and he was covered in a layer of what Jisung hoped was flour. To say Jisung was stunned would be an understatement, he actually looked like an elf. He looked so cheery it was annoying. “Oh hi, I don't know you do I?”
“You don't. But I'm sure everyone in the building knows who you are. So would you mind keeping the Christmas music down? Some of us are trying to do normal things.”
The elf’s—guy’s face dropped, “oh...I’m sorry. I didn’t think anyone could hear my music.”
“You’re joking, right? These walls are paper thin, you can hear when you’re neighbors are fu-
“-I already said I was sorry. I’ll turn it down, okay?”
Jisung opened his mouth to say something then snapped it shut. He hadn’t meant to sound so mean but the words came out and he couldn’t take them back now. And now he’s offended the elf.
The other boy made a face as if to ask “Is there anything else you want to cuss me out for.” and when Jisung shook his head, the elf boy stepped back into his apartment and shut the door in Jisung’s face.
Jisung stood there for a couple of seconds in shock. Then when he heard the boy resume and lower the volume of his music, Jisung turned on his heels and shuffled back to his apartment.
~~~
December 1
The next couple of days Jisung couldn’t hear any music coming from the apartment above him and he was thankful. With December rolling in Jisung’s inner Grinch was coming out and he didn’t want to hear elf boy’s music.
Fresh out of the shower from a long day Jisung begins to hear Christmas music seeping through the walls and Jisung groans. He thought after the first time the elf would know to keep it down.
Jisung puts on some sweats, grabs his phone, and stomps up to the 8th floor, and knocks on Buddy's door. He opened the door relatively quickly, Jisung didn't even have the pleasure to knock again.
Buddy the elf said nothing when he opened the door, he just looked at Jisung, almost like he knew Jisung was coming. Jisung heard the elf clear his throat and it made Jisung realize he was staring. He was in normal clothes though so Jisung couldn't even call him an elf anymore. He noted that the boy looked...less annoying than he did the first time.
“I was here a couple of days ago, for the same reason I'm here today. Your Christmas music is too loud. And I can't hear myself think,” Jisung spat. “Please turn it down.”
“Sorry about that,” he said.
But he didn't look too sorry. He looked like he was enjoying Jisung’s misery.
“For fucks sake just keep it down,”
The other boy rolled his eyes, pulled out his phone, and typed out something, seconds later Jisung's phone dinged. The other boy had airdropped him something. Jisung looked up at him with furrowed brows.
The boy motioned for Jisung to open it, and so with a sigh, he did:
xxx-xxx-xxxx
just text me next time asshole!
Chenle <3
“Stop being a dick to my face, it's not attractive.” then the boy—no, Chenle—closed his door in Jisung’s face --again.
This time as Jisung walked back to his apartment he contemplated texting Chenle to plead his case that he wasn't an asshole. But what was the point? This Chenle was just some noisy neighbor.
~~~
December 4
Chenle did it again the next morning, and so Jisung texted him from the luxury of his bed instead of having to get out of it. The luxury was short-lived though because the days following Chenle would send Jisung unsolicited Christmas memes including but not limited to the receiving of coal, the 3 stooges, and the Grinch…
who are you cindy lou who? Jisung had texted back.
oh so mr scrooge watched a Christmas movie? Chenle replied.
I watched it when I was younger. Jisung added a period so Chenle knew he was serious or at least trying to be. Their text interactions had Jisung emotionless as he typed, he wasn't happy or even mad he was indifferent.
~~~
December 6
Jisung slugged into his apartment after his day shift at the grocery store. He headed straight for his bed. During the holidays it was increasingly annoying dealing with customers. They were more inpatient and rude or asked dumb questions like “do you guys carry rice?” It's a grocery store, Sharon.
The sexual tension between Jisung and “I quit” was at its highest this time of year—and in general to be completely honest. But Jisung needs the money to pay his rent and to buy food. Jisung knows better than anyone that ramen adds up.
After Jisung changed, he hopped into bed and he scrolled through social media while he waited for sleep to kick in, making sure to block every Christmas lover as he did so. This was a whole task in and of itself, Jisung was thinking he should plot to turn more people against Christmas.
Tell me what you think. I need a stranger's opinion. read a text message from Chenle. There was an image attached to it as well. This was an odd occurrence, I guess you could say they were strangers but why was Jisung’s opinion needed?
Curiosity got the best of him and he decided to open the notification. Chenle was dressed in an elf costume, different from the dollar store quality (no offense—Jisung has respect for a hustle) costume Chenle was wearing when Jisung first met him. And this one had a skirt. Jisung's mouth hung open when he realized it and stayed that way for many, many seconds.
Chenle sat on his knees with his legs off to the side. He had blush spread across his cheeks and on his nose. To top it all off, he had a candy cane placed in between his soft pink lips. Jisung should've looked away then...but somehow he couldn't.
A few minutes later another string of messages came from Chenle: this is for my christmas cards btw. Do you think it's sexy enough? I'm going for a different look this year. and if u say anything weird you won't be getting one, Mr. grinch. ANSWER!? if you don't i'll start blasting santa claus is coming to town.
“This guy is shameless,” Jisung thought aloud. He was truly baffled to have such... an odd neighbor.
So you know I don't like Christmas music? Jisung replied hoping to switch the conversation from Chenle's sex-elf costume. (“jingle my bells” costume if you will.)
i put two and two together
with these paper thin walls the music is bound to be loud but you have qualms with christmas music and it shows.
Not just the music, the holiday as a whole. But chenle didn't need to know all that.
So why do you continue to play it?
because. Now how does my photo look? Chenle responded, clearly ignoring Jisung's question.
Jisung pondered on how to reply. He could tell the truth and say he found it oddly attractive, which might make Chenle think Jisung wants something to do with him when in reality he doesn't. He wants nothing to do with anyone who likes Christmas. Or he could lie, but Jisung was no liar—depressed yes—but a fibber he wasn't. But Jisung didn't want Chenle to think his number was for more than Jisung nagging him to turn down his dumpster fire Christmas music.
So Jisung texted “good.” Chenle replied with a blushing elf and it left Jisung wishing he had lied instead.
~~~
December 7
“Excuse me, could you help me find something?”
“One second I'll be right with you,” Jisung said in his working voice, it was much brighter and cheery than his normal voice, the exact opposite of his dark soul.
Jisung placed the last box on the shelf then he turned around to face the customer, his face dropped when he realized it was Chenle. Immediately Jisung thought back to his elf photoshoot and he felt heat spread to ears.
“Didn't know you work here, Mr. Grinch” Chenle spoke as if he knew his existence made Jisung squirm.
Jisung plastered on his working smile before he said, “What can I help you find today?”
“I have a list,” Chenle smiled.
A menace, he's an absolute menace.
Jisung and Chenle walk in silence to the canned food aisle. Chenle picked up a couple of items from there, Jisung didn't want to pry—he could care less which non-perishable items Chenle put into his cart—but he added different brands of pumpkin pie filling to his cart. Jisung’s first thought was “why I am here?” then he realized he was getting paid so then his second thought was “why does one man need so much pumpkin pie filling?” Chenle himself was quite the mystery but Jisung wasn't going to be Sherlock.
“You work here, right, so what type of apple pie filling would you recommend?”
He's kidding, right?
“you're kidding right?”
“no,” Chenle laughed. “I'm not a big pie fan--my family is, also your pissed face is kinda cute.”
“sounds patronizing,”
“Then smile a little more,” Chenle said, then he added “I'm kidding if someone tells you to smile more, beat their ass. humans are not all smiles and giggles all the time.”
“You are,” Jisung thought. But when Chenle looked at him, mouth agape, like Jisung had said something offensive, Jisung realized he had said it out loud as well.
“You literally have a permanent blush spread across your cheeks—it's like you're a cartoon character,” Jisung tried. Chenle laughed in shock.
“I can get mean sometimes,” he said in the nicest way Jisung had ever heard, “I'm not a Scrooge like you, but I get pissed.”
“Just get that one it's the cheapest, pinky” Jisung pointed to the can of apple pie filling beyond Chenle’s head.
“Look who's being patronizing now?” Chenle said, but he was already grabbing a couple of cans of the filling.
“You're the one who wanted me to help you find things.”
“It's your Job, Jisung.”
“yeah, well-” Jisung's mouth slammed shut, he had never heard Chenle voice his name before, and that took him off guard.
Jisung remembered he reluctantly texted Chenle his name when the latter asked what to call him instead of Mr. Grinch. That was a couple of days ago and he never anticipated Chenle using it in person.
Jisung reopened his mouth, “Whatever, what else do you need.”
Chenle smiled, “This kind of feels like you're at my every beck and call. Kinda makes up for your moody first impression.”
“I was within my every right though!”
“It's Christmas time, Jisung, who doesn't like a little Mirah Carey and Justin Bieber to spice up their holidays?
“ME!” Jisung screamed in his head. Then he said out loud “Not everyone is in the mood for Christmas.” It came out more sad than Jisung intended it to be. He didn't want Chenle to ask questions Jisung could find the words to answer.
Chenle though seemed to pick up on this and didn't pry. Instead, he asked “where is the pre-made pie crust? I'm definitely not making it by hand. baking isn't my strong suit.”
Jisung noted that that was probably why the fire alarm went off multiple times since Chenle’s moving in.
“This way.”
~~
December 9
Jisung tossed around the noodles on his plate, his thoughts have shifted to his mother and his ex, and he no longer had a stomach for food. Every time he thought back to them it spoiled his mood—and his appetite, this is why Christmas time was the worst.
He still vividly remembers the look his mom gave him when he came out.
Disgust.
Anger.
Pity.
Like Jisung had some contagious and incurable disease. Yes, liking men is awful (coming from first hand experience they suck). But there was nothing inherently wrong with it, and Jisung couldn't control his feelings anyhow.
It was Christmas eve. Jisung made the dumbass decision to come out on Christmas eve. And that landed him a one way ticket to homeless.
Jisung and his mom got into a heated argument that lasted a while and when his dad got home it only got worse. Words were exchanged, feelings were hurt and tears were shed (by Jisung of course).
And it only got worse.
After packing a bag of clothes he drove to his then boyfriend’s apartment. (Yes, he had a car but then sold it for money.) Jisung had a key to his apartment. Jisung went with him when he went to cut keys for the place and he was given a spare (Jisung was shocked he had an apartment, but then Jisung remembered he was 2 years older and had rich parents. So it made sense.) To his surprise, Jisung walked in on his (ex) boyfriend being pummeled into his mattress by another guy.
Once both parties had their clothes on round 2 of the screaming happened that night. And tears were shed (by Jisung of course). Jisung ended things with him that night and by the time the screaming had stopped, it was Christmas. Jisung took everything he owned from that apartment and tossed it into his car with the bag of clothes from his parent’s house.
With no place to go, and feeling the shittest he had ever felt, all the cliffs he passed in his car looked quite appealing. and what a great Christmas gift would it be for the people who hurt him the most to find him gone in the morning?
It was truly an appealing thought, but Jisung just couldn't go through with it.
And so yeah, Jisung hates the holidays. But he's totally valid in loathing. If Christmas was really about family and love, the people Jisung cared for wouldn't have hurt and betrayed him the way they did.
Jisung got a text pulling him out of his thoughts. It was Chenle and for once Jisung was thankful for the distraction.
“if the fire alarm goes off just know it's not me,” the text read.
Random, but Jisung was beginning to realize Chenle was...a little different.
what are you doing rn? Jisung responded.
...not making pumpkin pie?
Jisung sent a string of crying emojis and then: it's literally snowing outside if you cause a fire i'm snitching.
WHAT? nooo! i said it wasn't me!!!
and i wholeheartedly believe you.
STOP ADDING PERIODS TO THE END OF YOUR TEXTS!!!
no.
SHAFAAJANAH
you good over there or did u actually start a fire?
yes.
TO WHICH ONE?!?
Chenle left Jisung on seen and this was quite concerning to Jisung but since he couldn't hear a fire he assumed chenle didn't accidentally commit arson.
Jisung got up to scrap his plate of half eaten, now cold ramen. $0.48 down the drain.
When Jisung came back to his phone on the table he had a new message from Chenle.
wanna come over and try my pie?? i promise it's not burnt
Now, this could most likely be a terrible idea, but maybe a physical distraction would be nice. He would have to go to work soon so he wouldn't be staying long anyway. Try the pie, try not to die, and then say you have work as an excuse to leave (it's the truth anyway). Seems easy as pie. (haha..)
••
When Jisung entered Chenle’s apartment it was structurally the same as his but it felt way more lived in. Which was funny because Jisung had lived in his apartment significantly longer. Jisung has simplistic furniture that furnished the place and every now and then when Jisung was in the mood he bought a succulent to make things look alive. (his last plant had managed to die in record time! rip cobra.)
Chenle had a nice couch that Jisung was dying to sit his ass on. Why did it look so soft? Despite all the nice furniture, Chenle's place was littered with Christmas paraphernalia. He even had a 6 foot tree that was probably too big for this apartment.
Chenle beckoned Jisung towards the kitchen where it smelled faintly of burnt pie and now Jisung was a little worried; he’d rather die by his own hands than a Christmas Fanatic’s.
Chenle cut Jisung a slice of pumpkin pie and slid it to him on a plate. Jisung eyed it suspiciously, not trying to hide his concern with pie.
“Try it, Jisung. I followed the recipe to a T.”
Jisung hesitatingly took a bite and Chenle eyed him for his reaction. Jisung slowly chewed the pie then swallowed it. To be honest he wasn’t even a fan of this pie but he swallowed it with pride (that sounded more sexual than intended…)
“So how was it?” Chenle said, as whipped pumpkin pie from the corner of Jisung’s mouth like it was nothing. Then he walked away to get something at the counter behind Jisung. He returned with a napkin, then he said “wait sorry if that was weird, it's a habit now because of my family.”
“It’s cool,” Jisung’s a big boy, he can handle physical touch. “And the pie, it’s not bad.”
“Not bad?”
“I probably should’ve mentioned this before, but I’m not a big fan of pumpkin pie.”
Chenle sunk in the chair beside Jisung, “...me either”
Then Jisung remembered Chenle saying he doesn't really like pie in the store the other day, “Then why make it?”
“I'm trying to impress my family. I want to prove to them that I can be independent and fend for myself. We’re having a family gathering on Christmas and I want to show them I can cook and bake. They all think I can’t do it. And yeah they said it in a joking way, but it still hurt my pride.” Then Chenle mumbled, “Like I'm 21 and I’ve now just moved out, it’s so embarrassing,”
“That’s not embarrassing,” especially considering I was kicked out at 18. “I’d say it’s…financially smart. You’re living the good life, Chenle. trust me.”
Chenle flashed him a tight lipped smile, head on the table.
“Also you can’t bake,” Jisung said trying to lighten the mood.
“What!” Chenle’s head shot up.
“It semi tastes like ass.”
“How do you know what ass tastes like, Jisung?”
Swiftly ignoring the question Jisung said, “maybe just stick to cooking? I’ve never tasted it but I'm positive it’s better than your pie.”
“Stay for dinner then,” Chenle said, eyes bright.
“I can't, I have work. Someone's gotta pay rent right,” Jisung chuckled dryly. Then he visibly noticed Chenle deflate, “how about tomorrow?”
“Okay!” Chenle smiled. Jisung didn’t want to admit it but he looked really cute.
Please, Please, Please, don’t regret this Jisung.
~~~
December 10
He was starting to regret it.
He had just hopped out of the shower from his day shift at the grocery store, (yes he worked the night shift then went back the next morning to work some more), as the minutes passed he was gradually becoming more nervous. Now, this didn’t make much sense, but a lot of things in Jisung’s life didn’t make sense. Like how he works at a job he hates, when he could just quit and find a new one, or how he eats pie from random cute neighbors who smell like cinnamon and vanilla and dressed in sexy elf costumes for Christmas cards.
And now Jisung was nervous because the personification of Christmas was cooking him dinner. How could he have let it go this far? His heart was growing like the Grinch’s after he ruined Christmas for Whoville —Jisung always thought he was a weak bitch for not sticking to his roots.
••
When Jisung got to his apartment he was greeted by a smiling fluffy haired Chenle
“Welcome back to my humble abode.”
“I brought wine because, I don’t know, I thought it would be nice I guess. And we're both old enough so why not.”
“yummy. gimme gimme.”
••
Dinner was good, to Jisung’s surprise. Chenle made a mean baked chicken and by the end of the night, they were both stuffed and tipsy.
They both laid spread out in front of the couch (even though they could've been on the couch), heads meeting in the middle. They talked about life and just how shitty it was.
Forget tipsy, they were probably drunk.
They were laughing, and laughing even though the topics were depressing.
When the laughing died down their moods switched and the air felt much calmer.
Jisung sat up and spun around so he was facing Chenle, then leaned over him, hand in either side of his head. And he asked, “Hey Chenle, why do you like Christmas so much anyways?” His words were a bit slurred but he got all the words out and that's what mattered. Chenle didn't respond at first and Jisung just stared down at him studying his features. Chenle's eyelashes were long and pretty and it looked as if he was blinking in slow motion. His cheeks were red too but that was probably because of the alcohol.
Jisung poked Chenle's cheek, not being able to resist the urge. Chenle's eyes finally met Jisung's and he smiled up at him. Jisung’s drunk eyes thought he was looking at an angel.
“Christmas feels warm in my stomach, you know? It's like love. During the holiday's everyone is nice and warm and happy. You get time off work and school to spend with the people you care about. It's wonderful! And you give gifts to people you care about to show them you care.”
Chenle rolled over onto his stomach and rested his head in his hands, feet swinging back and forth “and I love Christmas movies oh and the food!” Chenle said, looking up at Jisung.
“Huh,” Jisung said, getting on his stomach to mirror Chenle's position.
“Why don't you like Christmas, Mr. Grinch?” Chenle whispered. He whispered because they were in such close proximity that there was no need to talk at full volume.
“cause it's stupid,” Jisung responded, and he knew he sound like a child.
Chenle reached forward and tousled Jisung’s hair. “it's not stupid, Jisung. Christmas is all about love.”
“It's not about love,” Jisung grumbled (and slurred), “That's what they want you to think but then they'll hurt you when you need them most. Also, love is stupid.”
“aww, Jisung , who hurt you? I told you I can get mean! I’ll teach them a lesson!”
“No one important,” Jisung said, sitting up against the couch, laying his head on the couch.
Chenle moved onto his back and laid his head onto Jisung’s lap. “are you always this touchy with people?” Jisung asked.
“Only when I'm drunk—or if I like you,” Chenle said, hands raised in the air swaying side to side. He occasionally tapped Jisung’s chin.
The conversation died down for a bit after that and Chenle remained at his spot on Jisung’s lap. There was no t.v making noise in the background and (thankfully) no Christmas music playing through Chenle's large speaker. It was quiet.
The only light came from the one in the kitchen and the Christmas candles Chenle had lit in the living room. It smelled nice, Jisung had to admit. It was warm and left a distant memory of what Christmas used to feel like for him.
“What's your favourite holiday, Jisung?” Chenle said. After all that quiet Jisung thought he had fallen asleep. “You at least have to have a favourite holiday.”
“Mmm I don't know, Halloween is nice. It's spooky.”
“Spooky?” Chenle repeated, he was laughing so hard he was holding his stomach.
“Hey. don't make fun!” Jisung whined. “I'm socially not allowed to trick or treat anymore but I love staying in my apartment and watching scary movies. although I'm a little scaredy-cat, but shh don't tell anyone.”
“My lips are sealed,” Chenle said, putting his hands to his lips. Well, his finger landed on the side of his mouth first then he dragged it to the middle of his mouth. “Hey, let's do a couple’s costume next year.”
When Jisung didn't respond Chenle reached up to tap his chin again. “What do you say, hm? hm?”
“Hey, stop that,” Jisung said, grabbing Chenle’s two hands with one of his own and securing him at the wrist.
Chenle hummed a response and when Jisung was sure he wouldn't do it again he let his wrists go.
Moments later Chenle got up and walked into his kitchen. Jisung watched as he went to retrieve more alcohol from the fridge.
“Are you sure that's a good idea?” Jisung asked as Chenle opened the tab.
“Probably not.”
“Right, get me one too.”
~~~
December 17
It's been a week since Jisung went over to Chenle's for dinner and Jisung feels like he is still hungover.
Who told two idiots to drink their weight in alcohol?
Jisung is still hungover to the point where he is now semi excited when he gets a text from Chenle. Most of the stuff Chenle texts him are dumb but Jisung has caught himself not minding ( smiling even ) at it. It's become the highlight of his day (it's not like he has anything else to smile for) and it's alarming, to say the least.
Chenle asked for part two of last week's fiasco but Jisung had to work so he promised to reschedule. It was weird to make plans with someone after all this time and Jisung constantly had doubts floating through his head but he tried his best to push them away. He just doesn't feel like dwelling in that negative energy for a change.
~~~
December 19
Jisung went over to Chenle’s apartment and this time Chenle cooked when Jisung got there. He got to help Chenle make some of the food and he learned some tricks. Chenle also gave him recipes for cheap meals so Jisung wasn't only surviving off ramen and frozen foods on sale at the grocery stores.
As they cooked, they drank a little and laughed a lot. Jisung was having fun, he was genuinely enjoying himself. Every second he had a smile on his face. It was genuine, not forced like the one he puts on as he works.
After eating other food they cooked, they drank while watching a movie. Chenle wanted to watch a Christmas movie and Jisung refused right away, but after losing rock paper scissors they ended up watching The Grinch.
“Haha very funny Chenle,” Jisung had said though he wasn't laughing. Jisung didn't hate the movie, in fact, it used to be one of his favourites but the memories surrounding the film had gone sour.
Chenle paused the movie halfway through when he realized Jisung wasn't fully paying attention. He called Jisung a “scrooge” and a “party pooper” in the same sentence but he didn't seem actually mad at Jisung.
After that, they talked and drank some more. Jisung also apologized for being a dick to Chenle earlier on and chenle admitted that he purposely played his music loud the next day so he had a way to give Jisung his number so he could annoy him into a friendship. They probably reached alcohol poisoning level but Jisung still managed to avoid every question surrounding his family, Christmas, or his past. It was truly a gift.
Then they ended up dancing. first straight up jumping and going crazy then somehow managed into ballroom dancing. It was quite the experience considering they were both wasted and didn't know left from right. They both took turns leading and it was an all around mess but fun. And when their energy dropped a little they started slow dancing, too tired to move too much anymore.
Chenle stared Jisung in his eyes as they shifted back and forth, eventually laying his head onto Jisung's shoulder making himself comfortable.
At first, Jisung was stiff from shock, then he relaxed, deciding he was too drunk to try and comprehend their current closeness. So he let Chenle be and just enjoyed the moment wrapping his hands tighter around Chenle's waist.
They could have been there for hours and Jisung wouldn't have noticed. But when Chenle yawned, Jisung was pulled back into reality.
“You tired?” Jisung asked, like it wasn't evident in his eyes which looked up at Jisung’s.
“mm-mm,” Chenle shook his head slightly.
“Yes you are,” Jisung said softly. He shocked himself with how gently he was speaking to the boy in front of him. He was going soft.
Releasing Chenle, Jisung went to get his phone to check the time, it was past 2:30 am. It was definitely time for him to go home and let Chenle go to sleep. He was clearly fighting to stay awake.
Chenle walked Jisung to the door, “Good night,” he said as Jisung slipped on his shoes.
“Good night, Chenle.”
~~~
December 24
“Merry Christmas eve, Jisung!” Chenle cheered over the phone. They were on facetime because Jisung was on the road and Chenle just wanted to talk.
“No!” Jisung cheered back, his facial expressions mocking happiness.
“Is it not cold outside?”
“No, the weather is pretty warm today considering it’s getting closer to January.”
Chenle nodded, then he said, “Are you doing anything special today?”
“Nope. I'm just running errands, getting food, and doing other stuff. I plan to stay inside tomorrow blocking out the world and wallowing in self pity.”
Chenle laughed but Jisung was being serious.
“Do you have plans today, Chris crinkle?” Jisung asked.
“I plan on baking later today, and before you say anything-”
“Please don't bake, Chenle. I want to be at peace tonight.”
“I need to bring something to my parents’ house tomorrow,” Chenle whined, shifting in his bed. “I’m gonna show them I can bake.”
“But you can't.”
“I know,” Chenle sighed, turning on his side.
“And I'd love to help you, I really would,” Jisung put his hand on his chest. “But I can't bake nor do I want to. And my bed is calling me, I can hear it from here in the streets.”
“Okay, but if you want to come over later if you don't want to be alone anymore my door is open.”
“Thanks, Chenle,” Jisung smiled down at his phone.
Jisung continued to walk down the street when he suddenly bumped into someone. It was his fault because he was busy staring at his phone and not looking where he was going.
“Oh I'm so sorry-” Jisung said but froze when he realized he had bumped into his mother.
“Jisung,” she said simply, the expression on her face was blank. But her eyes went cold.
“Jisung, are you okay?” Jisung heard from his phone. His mother’s eyes traveled from Jisung’s face to his phone and back to his face again. “Jisung?”
His mom scoffed.
“I’ll call you back,” Jisung said, and hung up the phone before Chenle could get another word in.
“All this time has passed and you’re still like that ,” Jisung’s mom spat, it felt like a punch to the gut, “did you not learn anything?”
Jisung was too stunned to speak.
“It’s been two years and you haven’t fixed yourself. Aren't you disgusted?” Then she laughed bitterly, “you know I expected you to crawl back and apologize for that little stunt you pulled ruining Christmas for everyone. Maybe you aren’t as weak as your father says you are.”
Tears stung Jisung’s eyes, “why do you act like this?” The question has been burning in Jisung’s brain for two years now. “Why do you hate me so much? It’s just love! Most people love, it isn’t a crime and it can’t be controlled! Yes, I like guys but that doesn't make me disgusting or ill-”
Jisung felt a strike on his cheek and it took him a moment to realize his mom had slapped him. His cheek stung for long after her palm left his face and he could no longer hold back his tears.
“Don’t raise your voice at me, boy.” She didn't even look remorseful. But what was Jisung expecting? “disgusting…”
She pushed past Jisung and continued about her day, walking down the street. Like slapping her son was normal.
••
After that interaction, Jisung went back to his apartment. He managed not to cry as he walked back not wanting someone to look at him weirdly.
When he reached the apartment building he found himself making his way to the 8th floor. He knocked on Chenle’s door before he could comprehend that this might be a bad decision.
Chenle opened the door and his smile immediately fell when he saw the mark on Jisung’s cheek. “oh my god Jisung what happened to your face?” Chenle reached out to gently touch the side of his face. Jisung winced softly and Chenle muttered “sorry.”
Chenle pulled Jisung inside and shut the door. Once Jisung toed off his shoes and removed his jacket, Chenle softly asked again “What happened to your face?”
“I saw my mom again after 2 years.”
“She did that to you? your own mother?”
Jisung nodded silently, feeling tears sting his eyes all over again.
“Not that it's your fault, but why did she hit you?”
“I asked her why she hated me so much. And apparently, that warranted me a slap across the face.”
“That's so messed up. No one deserves that.”
“...She’s part of the reason why I hate Christmas and everything about it. She kicked me out on Christmas eve for being gay. And when I went to my boyfriend's house I caught him cheating on me.” Jisung said, tears running down his face. “They were supposed to be the people who were there for me through everything and they both hurt me beyond forgiving. This holiday isn't about love or family. If it was, my family wouldn't have kicked me out at 18 to fend for myself. I had no one Chenle."
“You have me now, Jisung,” Chenle said, then he wrapped his arms around Jisung, securing him into a hug. “Don't let horrible people ruin the holidays for you.”
“Too late.” and that made them both laugh.
“wanna stay over for a little, I could use some company while I bake?” Chenle looked up at Jisung, still in a hug.
Jisung looked down at him, “You're still doing that?”
“Mmhmm. So wipe your tears,” Chenle said, doing it for him anyway. “your eyes can't be blurry if you're gonna watch and make sure I don't burn anything.”
After icing his cheek, Jisung and Chenle spent the rest of the day baking and talking and ranting. Jisung ended up crying again but it was because Chenle's words of encouragement were really hitting his soul. He tried to hide them but Chenle got up close so then he was crying and blushing.
When the pie (apple) was baked and the cookies (sugar) were done and cooling, the two sat on the couch and talked some more. Jisung had said more to Chenle this month than he'd said to anyone else all year. His verbal interactions were limited to those who needed help while grocery shopping. And he tried as hard as possible to avoid people while at work. But he loved talking to Chenle, it felt...nice for a change, not having to talk to someone who only needed or wanted something from him.
As night approached they became closer in distance and closer to sleep. Chenle’s head ended up on Jisung’s shoulder and his fingers drew patterns on Jisung’s thighs. This sort of thing Jisung hadn’t felt or experienced in a long time, but he felt comfortable like this. With Chenle.
“Chenle?...”
“Hm?”
“...thank you.”
~~~
December 25
Ah, the dreaded day.
Jisung powered off his phone for the day because somehow his boss found it okay to spam her employees with “Merry Christmas!!!!!” emails. So no messages came in or out.
Jisung was watching Netflix on his laptop when he heard a knock on the door. He ignored it but then more bangs came moments later and they were louder. “Okay, I'm coming!” Jisung said as he shuffled out of bed.
He grumbled the entire (short) walk to his door, who was trying to ruin his peaceful afternoon now?
He opened the door and was met with Chenle, “oh thank god you’re alive.” he breathed a sigh of relief. “Why aren't you answering your phone? I called and texted you a billion times, Jisung.”
“I turned it off for the day. why, were you worried?”
“Frankly, yes!” Chenle said entering Jisung’s apartment.
“Oh, sure! of course, you can come in,” Jisung said with fake enthusiasm as Chenle took off his shoes. He scanned Jisung’s apartment and Jisung realized this was the first time Chenle had ever seen inside his apartment. There wasn’t much to look at but it made Jisung feel a little self conscious. Chenle’s apartment was warm and inviting while his was nothing short of a mental hospital.
Jisung cleared his throat putting Chenle’s attention back on him. “So what’s up? you said you were trying to reach me.”
Chenle walks up to Jisung who is still standing by the door, “Merry Christmas,” he said softly. “I was thinking of getting you a gift but something told me you aren’t particularly fond of them.”
“haha.”
“So, I have a proposition for you,” Chenle said, slipping his arms around Jisung’s shoulder. He was definitely trying to sweet talk Jisung into something. “Spend Christmas with me…and my family.”
Ah, there it is.
“I know this might sound like a lot but my family is pretty chill for the most part and I want you to be surrounded by great people today. You deserve to have one good Christmas. Please.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I don’t want to be a mood killer around your family.”
“You won't, I know it. Christmas is supposed to be fun. you're supposed to spend it with people. please come, I'd feel bad spending the day with my family while you’re alone in your apartment.”
“I've done it before.”
“But you don’t have to anymore, please,” Chenle said. He shook Jisung a little when he didn’t answer, “hm?”
“…Okay fine. But if it’s too much I'm leaving.”
“Okay, yes deal!” Chenle cheered, then he pulled Jisung into a hug.
“Okay, get dressed then help me bring gifts and the desserts from my apartment,” Chenle said.
••
Jisung's heart pounded in his chest as he walked up the stairs to Chenle’s parent’s house. Chenle shifted the gift bags into one hand so he could ring the doorbell.
“Wait Chenle, I'm nervous.”
Chenle pulled back his hands, “Why?” he asked genuinely.
“What if I don’t fit in? and what if I look weird, I haven’t worn formal clothes in a while. what if-“
Chenle stepped closer making sure not to crush the desserts in Jisung’s hands. He placed his free hand on Jisung's face, it was warm in contrast to the cold around them. “you’ll be okay. you look perfect, and you're great company.” Chenle rubbed his thumb over Jisung's cheek, “okay?”
Jisung nodded, “okay.”
Upon entering the house it felt warm, not in temperature but the atmosphere . Jisung heard them laughing and chatting in the background and he instantly felt a little relaxed.
“oh, Chenle, Merry Christmas!” A lady said. “And you bought a friend, he’s so handsome.”
Jisung smiled sheepishly at her.
“Mom, don’t be weird.”
Oh, it was his mom, Jisung should have known the resemblance was canny.
“I’m not,” His mom said. Then he turned to Jisung “Hi..?”
“Jisung. Hi i’m Jisung Park.”
“Jisung, this is my mom.”
“you can call me, Mrs. Zhong.”
“Hello, Mrs. Zhong.”
“Honey, who's at the door?” a man called
from far inside the house.
“Chenle! and he brought a friend!”
“Oh a friend!~”
Jisung turned to look at Chenle. His cheeks were a light tint of pink.
“C'mon boys take off your shoes, most of the guests are already here.”
“Sorry about my parents,” Chenle whispered as they took off their shoes. “they don’t usually act like that. But then again I never bring guys home—not that that’s what I’m doing right now obviously because you know but yeah…”
When Jisung got inside he was briefly introduced to members of Chenle’s family. They all seemed friendly as Chenle promised so it put him at ease a little.
Jisung put the desserts on the counter to be eaten later. As he set them down he hoped Chenle’s family would like it so Chenle could prove himself. After that, he quickly found his spot back at Chenle’s side. He was basically by his side the whole night.
Then the food came and it was amazing. Jisung had a couple of plates (making sure to only go back for more when Chenle was.) he felt stuffed after. He still had dessert of course though. There were many many sweet treats for Jisung to choose from like cheesecakes and fruit platters but he also saved room for his and Chenle’s cookies.
Their pie was a big hit in the Zhong household. Everyone praised Chenle for it and it gave Jisung a sense of accomplishment. Not to mention Chenle’s bright smile which gave Jisung butterflies.
As the night progressed they laughed and talked and played games. Everyone made Jisung feel so welcome that it almost hurt.
Chenle stepped away from Jisung to talk to an older relative so Jisung took his time to step outside. After putting on his Jacket and shoes he went outside. It was dark outside now, and the cold air hit his face as he took a deep breath.
He hadn’t experienced this much love—or warmth—with his own family probably since he was a child. And maybe it was partially Jisung's fault, if he had been the child his parents wanted, maybe they’d love him.
there were always “ maybe’s ” that swirled around Jisung's head.
Maybe if I got better grades in school
Maybe if I never talked back
Maybe if I just tried harder to make them happy
Maybe if I liked girls
But would that ever be enough?
Chenle’s family was loving and accepting, that was all Jisung ever asked for.
Someone opened the door behind Jisung, “Hey, what are you doing out here?” Chenle asked. “I was looking for you inside but someone said you slipped out here.”
“Fresh air.”
Chenle stepped beside Jisung, “Was it too much? I didn’t mean to leave you by yourself for so long.”
“I'm okay,” Jisung said.
“But you’re crying,” Chenle said, reaching up to wipe Jisung’s tears with his thumb.
Jisung hadn’t even realized he was crying, “I'm not sad, I promise. I’m just a little overwhelmed I guess. There is so much love in there and I haven't felt anything like this in a while. Sorry…”
“No, no it's okay…you're allowed to cry," Chenle said. "You can be happy, sad, excited, or even scared, it's Christmas! And I understand you haven’t spent it with someone in a while…I just don't want you to feel alone.”
“Thanks to you, I don’t.”
“So you had fun today?”
“I guess I did. And your parents were cool too.”
“even though they thought we were dating?”
“Well that was just cute, they looked happy for you. And your cheeks were so pink.”
“I wasn’t blushing, Jisung.”
“Oh you so were,” Jisung said, stepping closer to Chenle. He cupped Chenle’s cheek which was warm to the touch, “you're blushing now too.”
Chenle rolled his eyes, tilting his head upwards, “wait, Jisung, look up.”
When Jisung looked up he realized they were standing under a mistletoe. Now it was his turn to blush.
“I think this is the part where you kiss me,” Chenle said when Jisung's eyes fell back on him.
“Imagine this being the first Christmas tradition I've done in over two years.”
“it’s better to start somewhere.”
“I guess so,” Jisung said before he leaned in and kissed Chenle’s lips.
Jisung parted his lips deepening their kiss and chenle sighed into him. Then he slipped his hands into Jisung’s Jacket and pulled him closer by the waist. Warm , he was so warm. His hands, his cheeks, his mouth. It made Jisung dizzy.
Jisung pulled away slowly not wanting to stop kissing Chenle but it was way too cold for them to be out here any longer.
“I think that was my favourite gift this year,” Chenle said. His words were laced with desire and it made Jisung want to kiss him all over again; at this rate, frost would bite his lips before Chenle could.
“You’re welcome,” Jisung said before he placed another kiss onto Chenle’s lips. Then they scurried inside.
The pair giggled foolishly as they took off their shoes and jackets and Jisung thought maybe Christmas couldn’t be as bad as he made it out to be.
All his trauma wouldn’t be fixed in one night...but at least this was a start.
Because ‘tis the season to be jolly.