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Haruto and Jeongwoo met when they were in high school. The two started as friends and then got closer. They were in their 3rd year of high school when Haruto confessed to his best friend his feelings and lucky for him Jeongwoo reciprocated that too.
Their relationship bloomed more as they go on, and so as the intimacy between them, that resulted to an untimely event.
Jeongwoo was crying in the bathroom of his apartment. In front of him were three pregnancy tests; all of them, positive.
He does not know what he should do, how will he tell his parents? They’ve been supportive of their relationship as long as they focus on their studies first. But now is a different scenario. Yes, his parents wanted to have a grandchild at least, but Jeongwoo knows not this early. He’s still on his 1st year of college.
And how will he be able to tell Haruto? What will be his reaction? Will he leave him?
But Jeongwoo must be firm right now. He tried to stop himself from crying and made up his mind, he has to talk to Haruto first.
—
Haruto was already waiting at their usual spot in the nearest Starbucks in their school when Jeongwoo came. He was wearing casual clothes rather than his uniform.
“I thought you have class?” Haruto asked as Jeongwoo settles down on the seat in front of Haruto.
Haruto looks worried when he noticed Jeongwoo with eye bags in his eyes.
“Are you okay? You looked tired. Have you slept last night?” Haruto asked more worriedly.
Jeongwoo sobbed as he pulled out that dreaded sticks out of his backpack and showed it in front of his boyfriend.
“Jeongwoo, what are these?” Haruto asked again and observed until…
“No. Jeongwoo…I…”
Jeongwoo lowered his head and starts to cry silently. Looks like his worst nightmares had come to life. Not until he felt a hand on his head. A soft rub then a soft pat.
“I’m here Jeongwoo. I’m not going to let you go. We’ll do this together. For us, for the our little one.
—
Haruto and Jeongwoo decided to keep it a secret for a short while to themselves before telling their parents. Haruto understands that Jeongwoo is not ready emotionally to receive the upcoming backlash they would face…and at the same time, Haruto has to deal with something as well…that Jeongwoo has no idea of.
“Senpai.” Haruto greeted as Asahi sits beside him on the bench in their university field.
Both were just sitting silently when Haruto lets out a big sigh and puts his hands covering his face.
“You haven’t told him, have you?” Asahi said, looking at Haruto dead serious, as he has always been.
Haruto looked back at him teary eyes.
“Jeongwoo…J-Jeongwoo is pregnant.”
Asahi never reacted. As always, the Japanese guy has a cool head, sometimes too cool to be mysterious enough that you don’t know what is he thinking.
“You have to choose, Haruto. And with that choice are consequences, and probably, loss.”
Haruto silently cried. “Senpai, I don’t know. I’m afraid.”
“We’ll be here.” Asahi puts his arms on Haruto’s shoulder as the boy continues to cry.
—
Haruto was silently waiting at the restaurant. It’s been forty five minutes since then and The waiter has been going to him twice by now but he said he’s still waiting for his guest to arrive before ordering.
Then came who he had been waiting for.
The person saw him and went directly to him and gave him a hug.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” The person asked.
“Junkyu.” Haruto spoke and tears came out of his eyes.
“I have something to tell you.”
Junkyu has been expecting this kind of situation to come to fruition, but he never expected it to be now.
Haruto and Junkyu met in college. They study in the same department. Junkyu is a senior to Haruto but the two get along well, especially both are officers in the same organization. That closeness resulted to something else; something Haruto knows is bad and Junkyu knows it’s risky.
Junkyu holds Haruto’s hand. “I’m here. Tell me.”
Haruto controlled his sobs and took a deep breath.
“We…We should end this.” The Japanese boy finally said.
Instead of Junkyu letting go of the other’s hand, he tightened his hold.
“Jeongwoo. Jeongwoo’s pregnant.”
Junkyu was just silent. Trying to control his feelings. Trying to listen to the one he loves.
“I got him pregnant Junkyu. And I still love him. Damn. I love you too, but this is not right anymore. I don’t even know what to do.” Haruto bursted crying.
Junkyu hugged Haruto and whispered to his ear.
“Let me go.”
Haruto let loose from Junkyu’s embrace.
“Let me go. Go to him. He needs you.”
“But Junkyu— Please don’t do this to me. I just can let you —“
“You have to Haru. What we did was not right and I already know that you won’t let me go that easily. So I’m doing this for us.”
“Junkyu-ya.” And tears continue falling from his eyes.
“But before I leave. Please let me do this.”
And Junkyu moved his face closer to Haruto and locked his lips with his.
That hurtful moment was broken when they heard someone shouting.
“Jeongwoo!”
Haruto saw and it was Jihoon, his boyfriend’s brother, looking at outside the door of the restaurant
Then a sound of screeching tires and a crash.
He looked where the sounds came from and his eyes widened in fear.
Jeongwoo lying on the road. Bloody.
—
It’s been three days since the accident and Haruto just mustered up the courage to face his boyfriend again. Actually he really wanted to see Jeongwoo right away but Jihoon stopped him, if being punched on the face is a sign of it.
He is guilty. Really guilty he did that to his beloved. Now he is anxious about Jeongwoo’s state. Not just Jeongwoo’s but their baby as well. He never heard anything about it.
Finally he arrived at the hospital, going to the reception and asked where Park Jeongwoo is and proceeded to go and see him.
Standing at the door of Jeongwoo’s room, he took breath as he holds the doorknob. He does not matter anymore if Jeongwoo’s family is there or he is alone, but he prefers the latter. It will make everything easier.
He opens it and goes inside.
Jeongwoo was on his bed. He was alone. Awake, luckily. He has a cast on his left arm and there’s a blot of blood on his hospital gown, telling he had a wound on his chest as well. He turned to face who came in and then stared at Haruto blankly.
There was tension in the air. Haruto knows he has to say something. He’s the one at fault here.
“I know you’re here to say ‘sorry’. You don’t have to stay long. You can leave now. I’m sure Junkyu is waiting for you.” Jeongwoo said coldly.
“Jeongwoo-ya, please let me ex-“ Haruto walked closer to Jeongwoo’s bed.
“YOU HAVE NOTHING TO EXPLAIN HARUTO! AGH!” Jeongwoo shouted, that it triggered pain in his ribs, holding it gently.
Worried, Haruto ran to Jeongwoo’s side only for him to stop midway.
“STAY AWAY” Jeongwoo said. Tearing up. “I SAW YOU! BOTH OF YOU! THERE’S NOTHING TO EXPLAIN!”
“I’m so sorry Jeongwoo. But we ended it. He broke up with me.” Haruto started crying.
“And you think that will make me feel better? I already lost you. I lost my child too, Haruto.” Jeongwoo sobbed as he turned to his side.
Haruto was stunned at what he heard. Their child was gone. And it’s all because of him. Now his guilt was way more. So many ‘if’s’ bombarded his mind.
If he never met Junkyu, this things should’ve not happened.
If he never fell in love with Junkyu, things should not be as it is now.
If he stopped himself, things might be still the same and he and Jeongwoo are still together and happy, and probably excited for their own son or daughter to come into their lives.
He wanted to hug his beloved, but he cannot even get closer.
“What the fuck are you doing here?! I told you to stay away from JEONGWOO!”
Haruto turned around and saw Jihoon. He was not able to react immediately and Jihoon grabbed his collar, pulled him around and threw him at the side making Haruto fall on the floor sliding and hit his back on the wall.
“Hoonie!” Hyunsuk, Jihoon’s boyfriend stopped him as Jihoon attempted to get closer to Haruto again.
Jihoon pointed his finger to Haruto. “Don’t you ever show your face to me, and to Jeongwoo AGAIN! GET OUT! Before I do something that I might regret.”
Haruto wanted to explain but Hyunsuk stopped him with concern.
“Haruto, please. Just leave.”
Haruto stood up and looked at Jeongwoo. But Jeongwoo was looking away, crying.
Haruto went back to his apartment.
As he closes the door of his unit, he slumps down on the floor.
In tears.
He lost them.