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Some days were simply unpredictable, and today was no exception for Jiminie. Well, Jimin actually. Little space was creeping up on him, almost like a wave softly washing over his being. Thank the god(s) he didn’t believe in that he was already sitting down at his desk chair. He switches like this, with ease, into his older Little headspace; Jiminie, who is about 4 years old.
“Clumsy, needy, and adorable” as Namjoonie had called him in the past.
Namjoon. That’s right! He’s as the store. They’d both had the day off—a wonderful way to start their weekend—but hopefully, he won’t be gone much longer, Jimin was gone already, and in his place was Jiminie. Eyes wide, bottom lip pursued and quivering with the realization that he was alone in the apartment.
No Joonie.
His eyes watered, a sniffle escaping with ease. Slowly—carefully, just like Joonie reminds him—he climbed out of the desk chair, choosing to crawl to their shared bedroom rather than walk. Jiminie can walk, albeit he’s a bit wobbly on occasion. Without Joonie here he doesn’t fully trust himself at the moment, better safe than sorry.
Earlier that morning Park Jimin had a work meeting on Zoom and had dressed for the occasion, work casual. Pressed black slacks, black leather belt with silver accents, and a crisp white button-up whose pattern was a smattering of minuscule black plus signs. Classically clean-cut, which Jiminie loathed. In remedy of this offense, he made his way on all fours into his a Joonie’s bedroom, wide eyes locked on the bottommost drawer on their dresser.
The bottom drawer was chosen to specifically be just for Jiminie and Minnie, especially since their clothing choices are always completely different than Park Jimin’s. Soft things only to give a brief overview; baby blues, bright and buttery yellows, creamy white, and the occasional neutral tone. Now sitting with his legs bent under him, Jiminie opened the drawer and began to rummage through all the various pieces of clothing, trying to find something he likes. Something much less constricting.
Remembering they’d planned to stay in tonight, the little one pulled out a pair of bone-white cozy knit shorts, an oversized baby blue t-shirt, and his baby chick thigh-high socks. He tried his best to shut the drawer but some sections of the clothes poked out at odd angles, having been shoved around. Jiminie pouted, clothes piled in his arms. With a small huff, he moved on.
Setting his comfy clothes to the side, Jiminie mustered up his big boy courage. He can do this without Joonie. It’s just buttons, zippers, and a buckle. He’ll be okay. The buttons were not his favorite, they took much too long to undo. The white shirt was soon tossed aside, no longer crisp. The belt was undone but left looped around the waist of the slacks even as Jiminie kicked them off his slim legs with vigor.
There was a sudden click at the front door, filling the silence of the apartment. More unique sounds quickly followed. Jiminie knew who it was making those loud and unsuspecting sounds.
Joonie.
His petite hands reached out immediately even though he hadn’t yet confirmed who was actually there, his hands repeatedly grasping at air.
“Namjoonie! Papa!” Jiminie called out, his voice sounding a couple of octaves higher than Park Jimin’s. A dull thud sounded at Jiminie’s call, alongside a shuffling squeak of sneakers against the linoleum. Definitely Namjoonie, he thought. Only a moment passed before Jiminie saw Joonie’s dimpled smile pop around the corner of the doorway and walk into their bedroom.
“Ah, Jiminie. Wasn’t expecting you today, baby.” He gently crouched down next to Jiminie; a fond look expressed in his features. Another soft wave washed over Jiminie at the sound of the pet name, making him regress further into Little Space. Four-year-old Jiminie had blinked goodbye and little Minnie had come to the surface in desperate need of cuddles and reassurance. Only Namjoon—his caregiver of six years—would have noticed such a quick switch. Minnie’s bottom lip stuck out in a pout still, slightly quivering as he reached a tiny fist up to rub his eye.
“M-Minnie bad, Papa?” His tone of voice nearly broke Namjoon’s heart. Gently he put a large hand to Minnie’s back, between his shoulder blades, rubbing softly to comfort.
“Absolutely not. Minnie is so good, Papa’s just surprised is all.” He replies as Minnie leans into him, thumb quickly going towards his mouth.
“Minnie good surprise?” He wondered aloud. Namjoon interrupted Minnie’s thumb with his light-yellow pacifier.
“Minnie is the best surprise, always. It’s so good to see my baby boy.” Minnie grinned with his paci in his mouth, eyes disappearing momentarily. It was only then that Joonie noticed his baby’s state of undress; Minnie’s black slacks were turned inside out, stuck around his ankles. The remainder of his being exposed except for what his black boxer briefs covered. “Let’s get you into something comfier, yeah?”
Little Minnie clumsily clapped his hands together once, mouth thoroughly occupied with his paci. Faint sounds of clicking plastic reaching Joonie’s ears as Minnie suckled the paci.
“Did you pick these clothes out yourself, baby?” Minnie quickly nodded at him.
“Jiminie did.” Namjoon held up the baby blue t-shirt.
“Are these still okay with Minnie, or should we pick something else out together?” Minnie sat up, leaning away from his caregiver to look him in the eyes, plopping both his uncoordinated hands on either of his Papa’s shoulders.
“Minnie needs nappy, no shorts.” The younger shook his head.
“Okay baby, we can do that,” Namjoon replied with a gentle smile. “Papa’s gonna grab a nappy, okay?” Minnie just nodded at him, letting go of his shoulders to sit down on his rear again. Namjoon quickly walked into the bathroom, opening the bottom cabinet to grab a diaper from the stack. Walking back, he swiftly kneeled back down to help Minnie out of his briefs and into his flower-print nappy—Park Jimin may be a full-grown adult, yet his body has remained petite and lithe, allowing him to fit into the larger sizes of kids overnight diapers. The baby blue t-shirt slid on with ease, surprisingly not catching on the yellow paci clicking against Little Minnie’s mouth on the way down. Last was the younger’s thigh-high ducky socks. Namjoon liked this particular pair of socks on his boyfriend a little too much if he was being honest, they hugged his thighs—obviously—but that little indent made its way around the circumference of his thighs… It did things to Joonie.
But he held back, and would probably mention it later to Jimin when he wasn’t feeling so little. They’d talked about Jiminie and what was to be expected while he was in Little Space; the biggest rule being no sex, whatsoever. Little Space is a pure headspace for Jimin, nothing else. It was a way to let go, to allow himself time to decompress, to get rid of the stress he tended to harbor during the workweek. The being taken care of part and spending the entire time with Joonie was just a major plus of the entire arraignment, the heightened physical affection being Jimin’s absolute favorite. The transition into being Jimin’s caregiver wasn’t exactly smooth, however.
The two of them had been friends for a few years first; having gone to high school together for three years, then surprisingly having their first class of their freshman year together. It was an early morning class and someone had shoulder-checked Namjoon, making him drop the history text he’d chosen to carry instead of stow it away in his backpack. Jimin had come to the rescue, picking up the heavy tome before Joon could even bend at the waist. They’d chosen to sit together in class, be each other’s study buddy for tests, and really the rest is somewhat recent history. Before graduation, one cold night during their senior year they’d chosen to go out with their closest pack of friends for karaoke, beer, and the like. And as Yoongi and Hoseok had belted out a Mamamoo song for shits and giggles at the top of their lungs, Jimin and Namjoon had both leaned in at the same time to admit their feelings. Perhaps it had been the beer, maybe the pure joy of goofing around before finals with friends… it was difficult to say. Neither party was disappointed at the night’s outcome, to be sure.
Then came the difficult part: telling Namjoon his kind of secret. Yoongi had been Jimin’s caregiver for a time at that point, and was encouraging Jimin to let Joonie in before anything got out of hand—the absolute last thing Yoongi wanted was for Namjoon to walk into his and Jimin’s shared apartment and discover Little Jiminie before he could explain to his boyfriend. Telling Joon took longer than planned unsurprisingly, but what was surprising was that he’d managed to do so in the first place for as long as he did. As time passed, Yoongi became insistent about telling Namjoon. Jimin worried, fretted over when the right moment would be until fate—more so, Jiminie—decided for him one night.
One of their planned date nights where they shared a homemade dinner, cuddled on Namjoon’s faded couch while a movie played on the television. Their attention wasn’t on the movie, but on each other, as they exchanged sweet kisses late into the night before retiring to the elder’s bed. Kisses became pecks between sleepy giggles—it must have been the safety Jimin felt with Namjoon—this is when Jiminie came out for the first time to finally say ‘Hi’ to Joon. The elder noticed the change in his boyfriend rather clearly, and he remembers it as if it wasn’t years ago but rather yesterday instead.
In a blink, his eyes suddenly held a gleam that wasn’t there before. It was almost an added sparkle if Namjoon had to describe it. The younger’s grin widened to the point his soft blue-grey eyes disappeared, the actual smile hidden by the comforter. Jiminie felt a bit shy, but Joon could see the crinkles on the corners of Jimin’s eyes telling him of the joy he felt. Short fingers peaked past the comforter barely an inch, waving lightly. The sudden change in demeanor also gave Namjoon a clue something had shifted but it also made him grin, dimples revealed on his cheeks with pride.
“You’re not my Jimin, are you?” Call it intuition but something within Namjoon knew, he might not have had a name for it but he knew. His kinda-boyfriend giggled, shaking his head.
“No. ‘M Jiminie.” His soft voice sounded younger, impossibly so. The tone made the situation all that more real, solidifying whatever this was to the elder. Blinking in mild surprise, he continued with his light questioning while keeping in mind Jiminie seemed to be… really young.
“It’s nice to meet you Jiminie, I’m Namjoon.” The deeper voice was quite the contrast to Jiminie’s, he thought this might be the reason the younger giggled again.
“I know who you are! You P-Park Jimin’s b-boyfriend.” The giggles continued, crinkles in the corners of his eyes staying put in all their glory. His happiness felt contagious to Joon, bringing a wide smile to his features with ease as he gave a small nod to the other. A section of blonde hair fell in Jiminie’s eyes, instinctually Joon reached up and tucked the strands back behind his reddening ear. Namjoon’s eyes zoomed out. Ah, he’s embarrassed, he thought to himself.
“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Jiminie.” The younger shook his head lightly.
“No. No… uncomf-torble. Jiminie likes Namjoonie.” Cheeks flushed; those grey-blue eyes locked onto Namjoon’s—they felt like being swallowed whole. The urge to kiss Jimin grew, but he wasn’t certain if that would be entirely appropriate with his current headspace. Namjoon didn’t want to make him feel pressured by any means, but he’s just so adorable… They could talk about the finer points of this tomorrow, hopefully, his boyfriend will be feeling a bit older then so they can work this out over breakfast. A soft sucking sound brings Namjoon out of his thoughts, his eyes refocusing on the cutie in front of him.
A dreary-eyed Jiminie has his thumb in his mouth, sucking on it like a pacifier while clearly trying to not fall asleep just yet. Namjoon already adores his boyfriend, but the sight before him really drove it home just how gone he is for Park Jimin. This side of Jimin—Jiminie—feels like the cherry on top of everything else they’ve experienced together so far; his cuteness enhanced somehow, the higher tone of voice and actions, the thumb sucking. Namjoon settled into the mattress more.
“Go to sleep, baby. I’ll see you in the morning.” This seemed to make Jiminie feel less sleepy, making him crack both his eyes open in succession to study his elder, thumbs still in his mouth. “What is it, baby?”
“Joonie leave?” He sounded so small, so… forlorn. It broke Namjoon’s heart, his own eyes widening in surprise at the question. It only took him a few seconds to realize his mistake, he’ll simply have to be more careful with how he words things around Jiminie. The elder ran a hand through Jiminie’s blonde locks, a show of comfort.
“No, I’m not leaving, Jiminie. I’ll be next to you the whole night.” He paused to press their foreheads together, eyes closing gently. The two of them curled up against each other in Namjoon’s bed made for quite the endearing sight; although, the knowledge that no one else would get the opportunity to witness this. Their calm. Their moments of vulnerability were shared only between the two of them indefinitely. Adoration truly doesn’t cover the swelling of Namjoon’s heart at this moment, of moments. No word could possibly.
His mind wandered in the quietness, finding a reasonable loophole to his issue with kissing Jiminie. His forehead. It seemed silly he didn’t automatically think of this. “Could never leave you.” Namjoon’s lips met Jiminie’s forehead, delicate but firm. He felt the younger wiggle closer, effectively snuggling to Namjoon’s defined chest. Jiminie put his free hand against Joon’s chest, fingers tangling in his t-shirt. His hand looked even smaller than usual if that was possible. “Have sweet dreams, baby.” The hand that Namjoon had been using to brush through his hair moved to rest over Jiminie’s waist below the covers, thumb drawing soothing circles over the white t-shirt he wore.
A tiny voice broke the near silence.
“G’night, Papa,” Jiminie whispered.
The affectionate name hadn’t escaped Namjoon’s attention.
Mild embarrassment oozed from Jimin the next morning. Namjoon found it endearing because little did Jimin know that Namjoon had already made room in his heart for Jiminie, along with any others that might come forth in the future (Joon had had a lot of time to think ahead about this before Jimin had woke). He’d woken up as his older self, Namjoon excited to talk about Jiminie, but Jimin had clammed up. He didn’t say much until Joon set a cup of coffee in front of him, smiling with nothing less than affection, even then hardly making eye contact. There was no question about it for Namjoon, nothing had changed—he wanted Jiminie in his life just as much as he wanted Jimin to be. There would definitely be a learning curve to taking care of Jiminie, but they could work on that as it came. Once the pancakes hit the table Jimin began to talk, admitting he could ‘put Jiminie away’ if Joon felt uncomfortable with him. But Namjoon didn’t walk that, so he made himself clear. They talked it out and ever since, Jiminie has been a constant in their relationship.
That same morning Jimin had laid down the most basic info for when he’s in Little Space. Namjoon felt like he should have been taking notes as he went over acceptable punishments for when Jiminie’s being bratty, which was rare but applicable. There were favorite toys, entire routines for various types of days, favorite meals, and a lot more than Joon expected.
“Tell me you have a binder for all of this?” Namjoon has asked. Jimin let out a laugh.
“Yoongi-hyung can help you, he’s been my caregiver for quite some time now.”
The social cues had taken a bit longer to figure out, but after a lengthy call to Yoongi one night with Jiminie wailing in the background of the phone call, they’d figured it out. That night, they’d somehow misplaced Jiminie’s favorite stuffy named Mang, which resulted in a terrible fit of crying until Namjoon had found him in the corner, behind the couch. Now they’re a few years in and Namjoon knows.
Minnie, the 1 ½ to two-year-old, presented himself after Jimin’s dog had a sudden accident and had to be put down a little after a year into their relationship. With the arrival of Minnie, Namjoon took it in stride, already a pro with Jiminie—although there were a few key differences when taking care of an even younger charge. They’d had to make a stop at the supermarket the first time Minnie appeared, the clear need for select items they didn’t have made itself known quickly. Bottles, a pack of diapers—wipes were already a staple in their household since they worked well for any type of mess—softer foods too. Throughout the store Minnie behaved extremely well, holding his Papa’s hand while sucking on his yellow paci hidden underneath a disposable face mask.
Joonie was so proud of him.
He loves all three versions of his boyfriend, but Minnie has been extra special to Namjoon. If Jimin and him could have children together the natural way, he expects their child would be so much like Minnie; polite, quiet, intelligent with so many questions on the tip of their tongue, very cuddly, and bursting with love. While growing up, Namjoon had become certain of two things:
1. Seafood is gross
2. I wanna be a dad
As he grew, a possible complication arose… Kim Namjoon was most definitely bisexual. And so, the odds of his wish lessened, but he slowly came to terms with it as he matured. But the odds lessened and continued to do so as he fell ever so gently in love with Park Jimin. It’s as if the universe knew of Kim Namjoon’s desire and chose to present a solution in an unexpected manner when he first met Jiminie, and then even more so when he was gifted Minnie. It was unconventional for sure, but it seems some lives are meant to be just that.
Nontraditional…
…And yet so full of warmth, love, and comfort. Everything Namjoon and Jimin had dreamt and hoped for in a forever type of relationship. Jimin had almost given up on such a possibility until one day he realized he’d fallen for such a close friend.
With both thigh-high ducky socks on, courtesy of Papa Joon, Minnie was officially all dressed and ready for whatever lay ahead of them for the evening.
“Such a good boy for Papa.” Namjoon quietly stated, Minnie, preening under his praise with Mang secured safely between both arms. Namjoon sat back on his knees, admiring the cutest little boy sitting before him, taking in the moment. Minnie grinned at him from behind his pacifier. Then it hit Namjoon: the groceries. “Baby, do you wanna help Papa make dinner really quick? Then after we eat, Papa can cuddle his little Minnie while we watch a movie. Does that sound good?” The baby’s grey-blue eyes are shown, wide.
“Minnie help stir?” His paci clicked when he wasn’t talking. Namjoon nodded.
“Yes, Minnie can hold the spoon. Come on, now.” Namjoon held out his arms, picking up his baby boy once he climbed into his arms. Minnie wrapped his sock-covered legs around his Papa as they walked from the bedroom to the kitchen. Namjoon deposited Minnie on the island counter next to the grocery bags. “If you want down from the counter, do you remember what to say, Min?” Minnie nodded, giving Mang a squeeze.
“Minnie ask Papa to put on floor.” Namjoon kissed his forehead.
“That’s right, baby. You’re so smart.” He gave his baby boy a big smile, Minnie wiggled from the intensity of Joon’s affection. It’s cute, Minnie not knowing what to do with all the love Namjoon gives him. Joon begins to maneuver through the grocery bags when Minnie murmurs something from behind Mang.
“Minmin loves Papa.” He’d murmured from behind his paci, Namjoon not missing a word.
“And Papa loves his Minnie!” He exclaimed back, attacking the younger with kisses all over his face. Loud giggles escaped from the younger, paci falling out of his mouth to the floor. The sound of plastic hitting the floor reached Namjoon’s ears, giving little Minnie a moment of respite from his Papa’s onslaught of kisses. The elder picked up the buttery yellow pacifier from the linoleum, ran it underwater from the sink faucet, and popped it back into his baby’s awaiting mouth. “Alrighty,” He rubbed his hands together before continuing, “Minnie, can you hand Papa the cold items in the baggies so I can put them in the fridge, please?” With an endearingly serious face, Minnie nodded. Setting Mang to his left, he turned to the right to slowly take out one item at a time, handing them with both hands to Namjoon. It always took a bit longer to put groceries away like this, but neither minded much.
The remainder of their evening passed by in a lovely haze of domesticity. Dinner was cooked together, Samgye-tang (ginseng chicken soup). Minnie wasn’t in the mood for solids; after having a few sips of the broth, Namjoon decided to fix him a bottle with the usual oat milk, vanilla extract, and a scoop of protein powder. With a warm bottle now in hand, Joon walked back into the adjacent living room. Minnie wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket on the couch with Mang and his paci locks eyes with his caregiver, those grey blues holding his attention. A soft smile spread itself across Joon’s face as he returned the gaze of his baby boy.
“Papas got the good stuff.” His smile grows to a grin for a moment as he sits back down on the couch. “C’mere, baby.” Namjoon gestures with his free hand for Minnie to crawl over to lay across the elder’s lap. Baby boy inches like a worm towards his Papa, barely closing any amount of space between the two of them. Namjoon guesses he swaddled Minnie a little too well, a light, good-hearted chuckle escaping him.
“Looks like you’re wrapped up a little tight there, huh?” Minnie huffs at him, stopping his inching, tired already from his efforts.
“Papa help Minmin.” Behind his paci, the younger’s cheeks were growing a healthy shade of rose. Namjoon unwrapped Minnie, draping the blanket around his shoulders instead. Mang was moved to one side, the yellow paci set on the coffee table. Minnie settled against his Caregiver’s strong arm, curling into Joon as much as was safe while he fed. The elder watched as his baby boy latched onto the silicone nipple with ease, those grey-blue eyes fluttering closed behind long lashes.
“There we go. Such a good baby for Papa.” He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he gazed downward at Minnie, that familiar affection expanding in his heart for the millionth time—growing as if there’s a never-ending amount of space to do so, and there must be. The T.V. was on, volume low, but neither paid attention to it. Minnie and Namjoon were too wrapped up in each other, in this soft moment.
Time passed and Namjoon couldn’t look away. He’d tried. A section of Minnie’s blonde locks fell forward into his line of sight twice and the elder didn’t miss a beat, brushing it back softly. His mind naturally wandered as he held Minnie, the poor baby drifting in and out of consciousness, actively fighting sleep as he continued to slowly drink his bottle. Regardless of the legality in their country, Namjoon had found a ring. It was unplanned, really he’d just been out with friends who’d wanted to go shopping. They’d stopped at a modern jewelry store and with a boyfriend like Jimin—who adores jewelry—it couldn’t hurt to take a look for future holidays, anniversaries, or even a just-because gift. We’re not here to buy, just to peruse, he reminded himself internally.
There were a few pieces that caught his attention, items that would definitely be to Jimin’s taste until he was about to leave and a sparkle made him turn his head. It was a ring he realized with a flinch. A worker noticed his stare and asked him if he wanted to see anything out of the case, he’d nodded and pointed to the ring. His friends gave him a little hell when Namjoon had walked out the shop with a crisp black bag in hand, ring wrapped in a baby blue velvet box. Now all he needed to do was wait for the right moment to ask…
…But would he need to ask how Jiminie and Minnie felt about it? Namjoon would still be their Papa, he hoped. Jimin and he have been in a good place with their relationship, so he’s not expecting an outright ‘no’. Perhaps a discussion about what marriage would look like for them—even though they have talked about it. Namjoon was simply overthinking, that’s what this is. And it’s not like they’re in a rush, he won’t be bending down on one knee tomorrow or next weekend. There’s time. There’s always been time between them, a sense of ease he’s never felt with any other romantic partner. A love he never knew he could sustain.
Joon leaned down, pressing a kiss to Minnie’s forehead. Those blue-grey eyes peeking open curiously as Namjoon pulled back. The nipple was released from his mouth with a suctioned pop. Joon set down the bottle, his now free hand coming to Minnie’s cheek.
“Is it bedtime for little Minnie?” He asked, not expecting a response. The little one nodded, clearly tired, but awake enough to make a grabby hand for his pacifier on the coffee table. With the sunshine-colored paci now in its rightful place, Namjoon picked up his baby boy and walked into their bedroom, gently setting Minnie on the bed atop the covers. The baby’s eyes cracked open again, meeting Namjoon’s.
“Mang-y.” He whined softly.
“I’ll go grab Mang, baby. I’ll be right back, okay?” His caregiver gave him another peck, this time on one of his rosy cheeks. Namjoon had already turned and began to walk out of the room when Minnie spoke. He stopped, turning back towards the bed.
“Papa?”
“Yes, baby?”
“I wuv you.”
Namjoon’s face split into a warm-hearted grin.