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Lan Wangji was caught in a snarl mostly of his own making. He had spent long enough hiding in the library, completely unable to focus on what he originally went there to do. Which admittedly was hiding from the wild untameable energy of the head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang and he was forcing himself to go through the whole title because otherwise his head would ring with Wei Ying instead.
It had been a terrible mistake to give into temptation to yell his birth name at him before, it had not had the intended consequence of cowing him and instead had only continued to fuel the confused tangle of emotions in his chest.
He was hiding from the fact that he was hiding and had no face to admit to the facts that for all of his calm composure, it was truly a mask around the other boy. No matter what he did, however much he tried to ignore him, Wei Ying left him in turmoil and confusion and a fluttering heart he could not calm down because every time he tried the slightest thing that reminded him set it pounding so hard he thought his ribs might break from it.
Even no longer going to classes nor supervising punishment could prevent the irrepressible disciple from seeking him out. To yell his name casually, to demand his attention, to call him boring and pretty in the same breath. To laugh at him. To give him gifts spontaneously. And trick him into accepting it. It was only after he'd thrown him out of the window that he'd even realized that it was exactly what he'd done.
And now he was stuck between what he should do and what he wanted to do. He should return them to the wild, even though that meant turning down a gift and also leaving these very soft docile animals to the hazards of the world outdoors. He had done his duty in preventing them from being eaten. The better thing to do for them would be to return them to live with other rabbits. It was very clear in the rules. Pets were forbidden.
But he wanted to keep them. They were soft and quiet and as white as his robes. They were making no demands on his time. And Wei Ying had brought them to him. That shouldn't have been as pressing a reason as it was to want to keep them, but it remained at the forefront of his thoughts of why he should be allowed to keep them.
He had knelt on the floor to tidy up the papers they had scattered when Wei Ying had first brought them in, and apparently they had lost whatever fear they'd had of him and were now presently snuggled up against his knees, tired out from running around the library, leaving inky prints and scraps of lettuce everywhere and-and that.
His ears burned and he covered them up again to try and conceal from whoever might be looking. Which was presently no one, but there was always the chance someone might barge in and catch him off guard. It had already happened today!
One of the rabbits pressed itself closer in sleep, ears twitching faintly. He breathed in slowly, slightly more shakily than he wanted to admit, then reached down and ran his fingers very lightly over its ears. It barely stirred other than to twitch one ear against the interruption to its nap.
Against his will, his lips twitched up just slightly. He had never been this close to any animal before. The birds of the Cloud Recesses were of course treated as honored guests and able to fly through the barriers without any harm coming to them, but they were still wild and still prone to scolding anyone who got too close to their nests. Even spiritual dogs were forbidden in the Cloud Recesses. This was a new experience entirely.
They trusted him without hesitation. Despite having been rudely captured and flung into a space they were not invited into by someone who held them by their delicate ears, they still cuddled up to him. They did not look at him and see the peerless Second Jade of Lan. They did not see him as someone as cold and untouchable as moonlight.
He wanted so very badly to keep them.
At the very least, he couldn't just let them go back outside into the wild again, he justified to himself as he kept running his fingers down soft, soft fur. They would surely be caught again, and this time by a fox or someone who would throw them in a stew or a bird of prey up swooping down from the skies. They were both snowy white, they couldn't hide the same way others could. They were truly better off if they stayed here, at least until he had a better idea of what to do. To let them loose was to fail to protect the innocent.
His uncle would doubtless have opinions about him calling rabbits innocent, but Xiongzhang would agree with him.
He doubted he could continue to hide them in the library. Right now they were peaceful, but that was unlikely to last. Also others would want to use the library at some point and he could not explain why there were rabbits living in there, hopping around and nibbling on the fragile books and doing...whatever they wanted to do.
Perhaps he could at least hide them in the Jingshi for the night. More time to think this through, more time to come to the best decision, though the sinking feeling in his stomach was that there wasn't a decision that both allowed him to follow the rules and keep the rabbits. Maybe once they were awake and running around again, he would be less...enamored by them.
Looking towards the closed window, the magnolia tree outside barely swaying in the breeze, he estimated that he had perhaps another hour before the evening meal. If he were to embark on this plan to hide them away till he could bring himself to do what he really should do, now would definitely be a better time than later when everyone would be heading to the dining hall.
They barely protested as he gently slid his hands under their hind legs and lifted them into his arms, making sure they were standing fully on his arm before covering them with his other sleeve and holding them close to his chest so they could not suddenly leap from his arms. Once he was certain that no one would see little white furry ears suddenly appearing, he opened the library door carefully with his foot and slid the door shut just as quietly.
There was no one on the path between the library and the Jingshi and he took advantage of that brief opening to walk slightly faster than normal and tuck all of them away out of sight before someone could see him acting unusually furtive. He did not want to try explaining what he was doing, otherwise he would have to stop and think about it.
And if he had to stop and think about it, he would question what it was about the rabbits and Wei Ying that made it so difficult to let them go. And if he started thinking about that...well it was better to just not start that line of thought at all. It always led in directions he was not prepared to deal with today. Or perhaps ever.
He could feel their tiny hearts beating against his arm, the way they squirmed slightly. “It will be over soon,” he whispered to them as the Jingshi came into sight. “Do not be afraid.”
The moment he had them inside and the door shut he knelt on the floor again and gently lowered them down. Fully awake now, the rambunctious one looked around cautiously, rising onto his hind legs to presumably look for predators while the quiet one sat and blinked lazily, apparently content to let his companion take the lead.
He brushed scraps of white fur from his clothes as the one began to explore his new surroundings cautiously, first hopping over to his guqin table and standing up to smell it. He wondered for a moment if he would need to stop it from trying to nibble on anything, but after a few moments the smaller one left his side and bounded over to join him, pressing his head under the other's chin until the first one turned and began to lick the top of his head.
His waning resolve weakened further. He was unable to look away from them first grooming each other, then exploring together. The wilder one would hop forwards towards whatever looked interesting- his bed, the guqin table again, the folding screen, his wardrobe- but after a few moments he would turn back and look for his companion.
They seemed inseparable. He wondered if Wei Ying had chosen them for that reason, then discarded the thought. It was more than likely a happy coincidence that he had found two rabbits that enjoyed each other's company.
He had made it no further in deciding what he would do. The rabbits were like the boy who had brought them to him, impossible to ignore when they were around him. Incredibly distracting...very cute.
He shook the thoughts free from his mind as he stood up and closed the folding screen so they could not hop onto his bed while he was away. Wei Ying had brought a little lettuce with them, but they would surely be hungry again soon.
After a moment he paused and moved his few books up on top of the wardrobe. And made sure the loose tile was firmly in place. There was no sense in inviting additional trouble.
He was very grateful that he was not expected to take his meals with others outside of banquets. It meant collecting his own meal from the kitchens did not draw attention, even when he had a single additional bowl full of nothing but uncooked vegetables. It occurred to him partway through collecting them that he didn't even know what rabbits liked to eat. Grass, most likely.
When he returned to the Jingshi, he was surprised to see that they had caused rather less chaos than he'd thought they would have. They'd only managed to knock over his ink brushes from where they normally sat in a neat row out of the way and scatter them under the low table and came bounding over from where they'd been attempting to climb onto the guqin table again.
They hovered around his feet, staring up at him eagerly. The rambunctious one rose on his hind legs to paw at his robes eagerly.
“Do not be rude towards your host,” he scolded them before he thought better of it. But his words seemed to have an effect on both of them, they sat back patiently until he could set his tray down and pick up the scattered brushes and only came hopping back over when he set down the bowl of greens for them. He had thought perhaps they would end up fighting over specific pieces, but instead, admittedly after they'd knocked the bowl over and sent vegetables flying across his clean floor, they hopped around each other easily, leaving bits and pieces of carrot and cabbage for each other.
He would have no resolve left at all at this rate. Even if the giver had been teasing him with the offer, the gift turned out to be something he had not realized how much he had longed for.
Especially when they came over after they'd eaten their fill and left the floor covered in scraps of trodden vegetables he would have to pick up later and snuggled up against his legs again. He didn't even think about whether it was the right thing to do, he just reached down and ran his hands over their soft ears and backs again.
He could not help smiling at them. There had been an ache in his chest these past months, an ache that he had dimly known existed and yet it had not bothered him until it had suddenly lessened those afternoons in the library with Wei Ying throwing papers at him and refusing to do his punishments with any deliberence. Yet it grew far worse whenever he lost that attention, gnawing at his chest whenever he saw the carefree boy running after his friends, laughing and playing with them in a way he could not respond to.
But they did not mind his quiet, his reserve. They thought him worthy of companionship. With them he did not feel alone in the slightest.
Yes. Yes he would keep them if he could find a way. Perhaps if they were out on the hill just below the family estate, if someone saw them they would assume they had come up on their own. If birds could fly through the wards so easily, why not rabbits hop through? He could try and build them a shelter before winter so they wouldn't freeze when the snows came. And he could go see them every day.
Yes. That seemed a decent solution to his conundrum of rabbits. His rabbits.
The names came to him in the middle of the night, unable to fall asleep long past hai shi had ended, looking at the shadows of his rabbits curled up together on the floor under his guqin table. They orbited each other as surely as night and day, they refused to be separated for even an instant. They seemed to bask in each other's glow.
He whispered their names to himself, feeling the rightness in the words settle in his chest. Perhaps one day, when they were grown, he could tell Wei Ying what had become of the rabbits he gave him. If they were closer. He would like to be closer. See the things he talked about showing him in Yunmeng, talk of cultivation and things they had learned.
Talk at all even. Wei Ying was so very clever, even if he used it for offending his uncle and causing trouble in class. He had seen it in gray eyes watching everyone else, even him. Seeing what they could not. Amused by their reactions to his antics. Teasing and flirting without a care, making the others around him smile as well. Even if it stung every time that blaze of light turned away from him, he still wanted to stand in it for as long as he could.
He rolled back onto his back and stared at the ceiling as his heart pounded in his chest again at the thought of the way his eyes crinkled at the edges when he was laughing. Hopefully at least this nonsense would stop soon.
It was ruining his sleep.
He knew there were wild rabbits outside Caiyi, he'd seen them dashing by with white fluffy tails up in the air whenever he spooked them out of the bushes while sneaking down to buy treats for the other visiting disciples. Like all other animals, they ran away before he could get too close, but that hadn't stopped him from following them along, trailing his white sleeves in the dirt as he tried to walk as silently as a fox behind them.
Right now, he was crouched behind a bush, watching two little white fluff balls playing in the swaying grasses, one of them chasing the other around and around despite the other occasionally nipping when the first one got too rough. He grinned as he watched the pattern repeat itself over and over, amused that while the rambunctious one never seemed to get the hint that it was playing too hard, the quieter one never tried to actually push it away, seemingly resigned to its friend's energy.
Nie Huaisang had told him when it came to catching birds or fish that you had to wait until they forgot you were there and went back to living their animal lives. It held that rabbits were probably they same. They'd seen him when he first saw them, but now they were relaxed and playing again, loping about in the sunlight.
They were so cute.
He didn't really have a plan for what he would do if he managed to actually catch them, but that was a problem for future Wei Wuxian to deal with. Right now he had been crouched in the same position long enough that his calves were threatening to cramp, a single bead of sweat from the sunlight on his face had rolled down and dried up and some bugs kept landing on his neck. He could be patient though.
At last, they seemed to be settling down a bit, the rambunctious one tiring out and flopping on the ground with its long ears splayed to either side. The quieter one lay down next to it as if it had been waiting for this moment, closing its eyes so it was just one long comfy puffball. He barely dared to breathe as he watched them doze off together, so close they could have been one large rabbit with four ears instead of two.
A bird chirped somewhere behind them, the breeze blew lightly on the back of his neck, and he struck while the iron was hot and ran out and snatched the rambunctious one by its ears, holding it out from his body as it kicked in panic at him. “Calm down,” he told it as it swung wildly in his outstretched fist.
A small tugging at the hem of his robes distracted him a bit, and he looked down to see the quieter one angrily pulling in a valiant attempt to rescue its friend. Unfortunately, it was a rabbit and he was a lot bigger than it was. If it had run away instead, he might have not grabbed it too.
But it was busy trying to attack him and that meant that it was fair game for him to snatch it up, too, getting an arm under its belly as it kicked out wildly, shrieking in indignity. “You're so loud,” he complained at it as he attempted to corral his two prizes. “I didn't know rabbits could scream like that.”
Now that he had them, the first thought that ran through his head of what to do with them was to show them to Lan Zhan. They would suit him, he thought, hanging the angry one over his arm so it couldn't get purchase to jump or keep kicking him in the ribs so he could transfer its friend over, who quieted a little when it saw its companion in a similarly trapped position. They also were dressed all in white and had such a temper. And were really too adorable for words.
As he started back up for the Cloud Recesses, he thought over the rules that he'd copied far too many times. There was definitely a rule against pets, but at the same time there was also a rule that you had to treat a gift with respect, that you had to treat guests with respect, that killing in the Cloud Recesses was forbidden, that anyone below you in rank or power should be treated with the same respect as someone above you. A wicked grin played across his face as he tucked one long sleeve over the rabbits so they would calm down when he jumped over the wall.
He only had a month and a half left before he would have to go home and he couldn't play with Lan Zhan anymore, assuming he didn't change his mind in that time and actually accept his invitations to come back to Lotus Pier already. If he had to leave him behind, then he would give him new friends to keep him company until they met again.
“Come on,” he told the rabbits squirming under his sleeve. “First we'll get you food and then you're going to have a new friend.” he smiled brightly up at the tall walls of the Cloud Recesses as he approached the best area to jump in and not immediately be caught by Lan Zhan or whoever was on patrol when he was sneaking around. “He's so great, you're definitely going to like him.”