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Language:
English
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Bad Bang IV: The World's Worst Exchange, Anonymous
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Published:
2015-03-23
Words:
385
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
11
Kudos:
20
Bookmarks:
1
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325

The Overwhelming Perfection Of Juri Arisugawa

Summary:

All hail Juri. Juri is life.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Juri Arisugawa is everything to Ohtori Academy. The real hero, the most beautiful and noble of them all. A true prince. Even supposed school idol Utena Tenjou wishes to be her; she's only popular because she dresses oddly and stands out, but Juri is loved for being herself.

Tsuwabuki Mitsuru follows her, longing to serve her in any way he can. The Rose Bride prays Juri will win every duel so she can stay engaged to Juri. Shiori's facade of hatred crumbled under the overwhelming power of Juri's sway. Touga's shirt longs to be worn by Juri's curvy form. Even Akio trembles in fear of her, knowing she is the school's true ultimate power.

The students pledge alleigiance to Juri every morning. Offerings are made to a marble statue of her at lunchtime. Men and women vie for the chance to be close to her, the fencing team is the most popular one in all of Ohtori. Everyone knows for a fact that her existence is what will bring about the world's revolution.

Juri is tall and statuesque, with flaming orange ringlets and an achingly perfect figure. She wears orange pants that would look ridiculous on anyone else, and her piercing green eyes can see into anyone. She knows every secret, every weakness, and she could turn on a person as quickly as she befriends them.

She's a sex goddess to rival the person who invented Kama Sutra-actually, she wrote her own sex book to put that one out of business, called the Kama Juri. It comes out in stores next week. You don't fuck Juri Arisugawa, she takes you. You are her conquest, but not exactly since she's a kind and noble person who sees her sex partners as more than that. It's why everyone falls in love with her.

Eventually, the Rose Bride's pet monkey-mouse will move in with her. He's already packed his suitcases, and the Rose Bride is perfectly okay with it. Juri is perfect, and everything she does is perfect.

Juri Arisugawa. Just the name alone can cure what ails you. Anyone who dislikes or harms her in any way is always set straight, always learns their place and begs for forgiveness, and Juri forgives because she is an all-loving saint.

All hail Saint Juri. Your savior. Ohtori's Revolution Bringer.

Notes:

Anyone who disagrees with this filibuster-er, fanfic is wrong and needs to be punished! You will all bow down to Juri or else!