Archive of Our Own

“Jungkook!” Taehyung shrieked at the top of his lungs when his boyfriend collided with a car in front of his eyes. The replay of his childhood friend’s body crashing against the car with a huge thump and rolling across the streets was constantly in his head. He remembered the terrified expression on Jungkook’s face right before he nearly died. The sound of the car screeching, glass shattering, and him screaming rang in his ears like an echo in a large empty cave. 

Taehyung ran up to the unconscious boy and held him in his arms while a kind old lady called 911 for him. The rest of the bystanders - no more than fifteen - stared at the scene in horror. Some were jerks who were recording on their phones. As he hugged him close to his chest, blood began to soak through his clothes and stain his body - his boyfriend’s crimson blood. God, there was so much of it. He can’t get rid of the image of all the red on him when he gazes in the mirror that night.

He remembered the feeling of his heart dropping when the paramedics snatched him away from his embrace. He didn’t even remember when or how he ended up in the hospital. He was waiting for his boyfriend who was fighting against life and death in the room literally in front of him. He took the time to sob and sob. The tears would never amount to the blood Jungkook lost, but he never cried so hard before. Heck, he doesn’t know the last time he ever shed a tear. Was it three years ago when Jungkook said “I love you” back? No, those happy tears don’t count. 

Then, was it when he found out Jungkook had health problems? Jungkook was born with a small heart which prevented him from doing any kind of sports or heavy exercises. Or was it when Jungkook pushed himself too far that one time which caused him to cough up blood and pass out? Or was it when he found out Jungkook’s father was abusive to his boyfriend because his son wasn’t born normal? He’s not too sure anymore, but he’s certain that all of his tears belong to his treasure, Jungkook. 

Some god must have heard his heart-wrenching cries that night because Jungkook somehow survived the operation. However, he survived at the price of losing the ability to walk forever. On top of his heart disease, he has to live with a wheelchair and constant help forever. When Jungkook regained consciousness four days later, he was devastated. He screamed, shouted, and grieved like a child in a tantrum. He yelled at the top of his lungs, not caring if he was in a hospital, about how unfair and cruel the world is and asked why it was happening to him. His feelings are completely valid, and it was another night where Taehyung shed tears with the younger. 

That was five months ago. The damage wasn’t pretty, so Jungkook has been living in a hospital since then. There are times when he would be in immense pain randomly and would need to be on pain medication. He tries to avoid them as much as possible, but the ache is so unbearable that it makes him want to scream and cry. Taehyung visits whenever possible. He goes to see his boyfriend at least five times a week because he knows how much Jungkook hates being in a hospital. He would be there to keep him company, but he was also there for another important reason. That reason explains the situation in front of him right now. 

Taehyung glares at Jungkook with his arms folded across his chest. He’s fuming inside and getting really annoyed with this. If he could, he would scold the younger one with all his fury, but because he is a gentleman (a wonderful one too) with common sense and some decency, he wouldn’t embarrass Jungkook in front of everybody in the hospital lobby. 

Meanwhile, Jungkook is staring at the floor, avoiding his hyung’s disappointed gaze. His fingers are fidgeting on his lap as shame fills every single of his veins. This isn’t the first time it happened. He got caught again . How many times has it been? He lost count a month ago. He knows Taehyung understands how suffocating the hospital is for him which is why he tries to spend time with him when he doesn't have to. He really appreciates it, but sometimes, he just needs an escape. The gown itches his skin, and he wishes to rip it off and wear his comfortable clothes again. He wants to breathe in fresh air and not bleach. He wants to hear the birds chirping instead of the machines he is always hooked up to. He slightly flinches when a heavy sigh leaves his boyfriend’s mouth. 

With no words, Taehyung turns Jungkook around and wheels him back to his hospital room on the third floor. The kind nurse greets him with a wave when she spots the couple. Taehyung nods back. Once they reach his room, he lifts him off his chair and places him on the bed. Not a minute later, the same nurse enters and reattaches the wires and IV onto Jungkook. When she finishes, she bows and exits gracefully. 

Now, the two sit in silence. Taehyung would have come here with his signature boxy smile and in a positive mood, but that disappeared the moment he knew what Jungkook was doing again. The frustrating fact is that this isn’t the first time Jungkook tried to escape the hospital. He first tried three months ago, and no matter how many times Taehyung busts and scolds him, he keeps trying. Why is he so stubborn? The furthest he has ever gotten was the parking lot, but Taehyung caught him because he was getting out of his car at that very moment. 

Jungkook is lost in his mind- losing it too. How is it that Taehyung comes whenever he tries to run away? The one time he literally stays in the building with no plan to leave is the time Taehyung doesn’t come. When he does try, Taehyung always stops his attempts. He prevented every single one of them for the past three months. 

Taehyung despises lecturing his boyfriend, especially when Jungkook has a hard life. Jungkook of all people understands how the world isn’t filled with sunshine, cupcakes, and unicorns. It hasn’t been very kind to him. Taehyung feels like he’s making everything worse by stopping him, but this is becoming kind of ridiculous. After another silent minute and a large exhale, he speaks, “Jungkook.” He doesn’t miss the way Jungkook bites his lips nervously. It wasn’t “angel”, “Jungkookie”, or “treasure;” it was just Jungkook and just Jungkook means he is in a whole load of trouble. It’s strange. Although Taehyung is his boyfriend, he has been more of a father to him than his real one. 

His father smacked him when he made the littlest mistakes. He yelled how “abnormal” and “worthless” he was when a father should be doting and caring. Taehyung was the one who taught him that it is okay to make mistakes. He was the one who worried when he went outside without a jacket or when he skipped a meal. When he messed up, Taehyung explained why he was wrong. Well, his so-called “father” is in the past now. He ran away with Taehyung the moment he turned eighteen. Taehyung is two years older than him and has known Jungkook since he moved in the same neighborhood when they were elementary kids. 

“...I’m sorry,” Jungkook said without looking at the elder’s eyes yet. Taehyung is quite surprised that he was the one who spoke first. An apology to start it all off too. It emphasizes how guilty he must feel despite doing this millions of times.  

“Are you though?” Taehyung interrogated. “How much longer are you going to keep this up? How many more times do I have to drag you back in here?”

“I...don’t know,” Jungkook replied honestly. He could say whatever now, but he could try again for all he knows. 

“The hospital is-.”

“A safe place where I can get better. I know, Hyung.” He interrupted. He finally turns his head and makes eye contact. It doesn’t last long as his eyes travel back to the hands on his laps. “It’s just...I’m frustrated. It’s been five months. I want to go home and cuddle with you. I even want to go back to chemistry class at the university, and that says a lot. You know how much I hate chemistry. Will I ever get better?” 

Taehyung listens attentively to the frustrations that Jungkook has contained over the past weeks. He never admits to things like this. So, when he does, it usually means he’s pushed over his limits. Jungkook continues, “I’m tired of being in pain. I already know I can’t walk and my heart isn’t well, but I want to make life as normal as possible. I don’t want to be here anymore.” 

A tear slides down his cheek before he sniffs. Taehyung wipes it away with his thumb and moves him onto his lap. He encases his sad angel in his arms and comforts him. “Everything will be alright,” he promised, kissing the side of his head. “You’re so strong. I can’t imagine nor understand what you are going through, but I promise I will be there every step of the way.” Jungkook trusts him with all of his heart. Taehyung has never broken a promise, and he knows this is one he won’t break. 

They stay in their tender and comfy position. Jungkook has his face buried in the crook of Taehyung’s neck. He smells the familiar cologne and his body relaxes like a captivating spell. The evidence of his hyung here is all he needed to be grounded. 

“Just promise me that you won’t attempt to escape again please. It’s really bothersome not only for me, but also for the doctors and nurses too. I don’t care if you wander around the hospital. If you ever feel anxious again, I’m always a call away.” Taehyung is secretly hoping that Jungkook would agree because he really doesn’t want to deal with a missing boyfriend one day. He nearly lost him that day, and he doesn’t think his heart can go through another. To his surprise, Jungkook says, “okay, Hyung. I promise to try my best.” 

Taehyung detaches the younger from his neck, so he can peek at those beautiful, chocolate, and doe eyes. They’re a little puffy and pink, along with his nose, from the light crying, but he appears no less handsome. There’s this pang in his heart whenever Jungkook cries as if it physically tears a hole in it. Ironically, his heart beats erratically from the breathtaking view afterwards. If he’s okay in the end, he’ll be okay too. He snaps out of the entrancing daze when Jungkook pouts because he was staring too long. 

“Are you pouting?” Taehyung teased with a light chuckle. 

“Well, you’re taking too long! If you’re going to stare at my face, then might as well kiss me!” Jungkook protested. Taehyung rolls his eyes but even he cannot resist his precious treasure. They both lean in for a sweet, innocent kiss. 

“Better?” He asked. Jungkook nods with his bright, bunny smile that melts his heart into a pile of goo. 

“Hyung?”

“Yes, Angel?” 

“Can we go to the garden?” Taehyung thinks about it. He’s worried that Jungkook is tired from the failed escape and crying. He never had much stamina, and now, it’s even lower. He eventually gives in because this is Jungkook’s body, and he knows it best. Plus, with all the negative energy for the past hour, it will be nice to clear their minds with a walk. He will keep an eye on him though. The last time they went to the garden, he fell asleep mid-way through a conversation, and Taehyung was basically talking to himself for ten minutes. 

He helps Jungkook get into the wheelchair before they head out to the small park behind the hospital. It’s a fascinating place filled with healthy patches of grass, enormous trees that are perfect shades on a hot day, flower bushes, and many more. It’s a fairytale wonderland, and the duo can’t help but wonder why a lot of patients don’t occupy it. They’re not going to complain; they like having the garden to themselves. 

Taehyung pushes the other on the stoned path. Despite being here many times already, they are still amazed with the bright colors and endless rows of nature. Unlike the hospital, it smells refreshing and calming. Going here is the right decision. They soon settle in their favorite spot under a large oak tree. Jungkook is pressed up against Taehyung while they watch TikToks on his phone. 

They even make a trip down the memory lane. They explore through the photo gallery together, and a wave of nostalgia washes over them. Both of them have pictures dated way back when they were still kids. Jungkook thought Taehyung was already handsome as a child, so it’s no surprise that his boyfriend transformed into a sexy man. While Taehyung was the popular and outgoing student who had lots of admirers like in the movies, he was the crippling shy nerd who had to be careful with his tiny heart. Nobody wanted to hang out with a sick person. It was too much of a burden. However, they stuck together by the hip despite their opposite personalities. Maybe opposites do attract. “Your heart may appear small, but it’s bigger than anybody I know.” Taehyung told him in high school. It might have been his most favorite quote ever. 

“-and then the professor said it was a stupid question! I thought those didn't exist, and he even said so on the first day! Can’t you believe it, Jungkookie?” Taehyung took a glance at the younger, and he was sleeping like a little lamb. He couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh at the situation. How long has he been talking to himself exactly? Oh, the humiliation! He didn’t have the heart to let go of him, so he just carried him back to the appropriate room. He’ll grab the wheelchair later. 

Taehyung wasn’t sure when but he fell into the world of dreams while he was watching Jungkook sleep like a creep. He is startled awake from a sudden series of loud, wet coughs. He loses his balance on his elbow and falls out of the uncomfortable chair. His body crashes onto the ground with a thump. He groans and rubs his head. That might leave a small bump later. Taehyung is brought back to reality when Jungkook starts coughing harshly again. 

He quickly recovers and stands up. A monster is gnawing his insides slowly as he observes how Jungkook is covering his mouth with one hand while the other is clutching his chest. The sick boy is frighteningly pale and seems to be in a whole lot of pain. “Jungkookie, how are you feeling?” He asked worriedly. He rubs the latter’s back in an attempt to comfort, but he knows it won’t stop the coughs. 

Jungkook gazes at him with teary eyes. Pure distress is on display, “h-h-hurts.” He manages to answer before another wave hits him again. Taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed together. Something’s not right. Jungkook had these attacks before, but this sounds worse than normal. The elder is quickly proven correct when Jungkook chokes then coughs out blood. A small splash lands on Jungkook’s hand and drips onto the blanket covering him. Taehyung flings his body over and presses the button for the nurse. 

He does what he can by continuing to rub his back and whispering sweet nothings. “The doctor and nurse are coming soon, Jagiya. Hang in there.” As the younger continues coughing, he grabs a tissue and cleans his hand. They continue this process once more before the nurse comes into the room. The moment her eyes land on the situation, she scurries out to find a doctor. The coughs finally calm down a bit, and Jungkook lets out a whimper. 

“H-Hyung.” 

“I know, Angel. I know it hurts. You’re doing so well.” After what feels like centuries, the door slams open, and Jungkook’s doctor, Dr. Kim, and a couple nurses rush in. The male nurse politely asks Taehyung to leave the room, so that there are no distractions as they help Jungkook. Although he doesn’t want to leave him alone, he knows it’s probably for the best. He sees them laying him down and hears the doctor order something incoherent in his ears. Then, he closes the door. 

It doesn’t reopen until after an hour. Taehyung hates how much time has passed. The more time the doctors spend their means that there is something wrong. An hour only indicates how serious the problem must be. He abruptly stands up, “how is he?” 

Dr. Kim sighs tiredly. If anything, he appears exhausted. The eye bags and wrinkles on his uniform show it all. The man shakes his head and brushes his gray hair back, “not well.” Those were the words that Taehyung never wanted to hear, especially if they refer to his boyfriend. Presenting no reaction, he continues to listen to the rest of what he has to report. “Jungkook’s heart is not keeping up with his body, so it might overwork itself and give up soon. I’m afraid Jeon Jungkook doesn’t have much time left.”

A bucket of iced cold water is thrown over his head at the news. Taehyung doesn’t believe what happened. He had to have misheard the doctor, right? He had to. What the hell does Dr. Kim mean by “he doesn’t have much time?” How much time is left? A month? A week? An hour? It really is insignificant because there will never be enough time in the world to show how much he loves and treasures his angel. Taehyung swallows down the large lump in his throat. 

“H-how much time?” He was almost afraid to ask and he low-key regrets it. 

“Two months at most. Unless a donor who shares the same blood types arrives, Jungkook’s heart can technically collapse any time before that. He will remain in the hospital until then.” He didn’t know what was worse. The fact that Jungkook has two months left or the fact that he has to spend those last two months of his life in a hospital. The idea of him staying here any longer creates an ugly feeling in his guts. He understands that it’s a huge risk to send Jungkook outside due to infections and possible horrible outcomes where he could be treated right away in the hospital, but at this rate, the hospital will be his prison.  

“Dr. Kim, is it possible for Jungkook to go outside? He doesn’t have to go far, but he really wants to live fully in this world outside the hospital.” Dr. Kim isn’t clueless on Jungkook’s many attempts to escape. He shakes his head and fixes the glasses. 

“I get where you are coming from. Jungkook isn’t Rapunzel stuck in this tower, but the difference between Rapunzel and Jungkook is that Jungkook can die any time. In order to increase the chances to save him, it’s better that he stays here. That small percentage could do wonders.” Taehyung nods sadly while gazing at the floor. Dr. Kim places his hand on his shoulder, “I’m sorry that this is how the world decides to treat him, but we will do our best. Jungkook is in good hands. Now, if you would excuse me, I have another patient to attend to.” 

“Of course. Thank you, Dr. Kim.” The two bow and Dr. Kim travels to his next destination. On the other hand, Taehyung is frozen in front of the door. It’s like his legs are chained to the wall, and he can’t go any further. The shock hasn’t settled in yet, and he can’t imagine how Jungkook would react to it when he wakes up. He’s unsure how long he stood there, sorting his emotions and thoughts. Jungkook needs him more than ever, but he knows he would just break down the moment he sees him. Jungkook needs him to be strong, and he doesn’t think he can manage that now. 

He flinches when a nurse pats his back. From the window behind her, Taehyung acknowledges how dark it is. How long has he been standing here? His attention is brought to the nurse who opens her mouth, “I know it is a lot to take in. I know how much you care about him because you visit him almost every day only to hear that he won’t be here much longer. The only thing you can do for the both of you is to do what you can together to the fullest. The both of you need to have hope too. Who knows? A donor might come soon. The world might be cruel, but it has its compassion too.” She pats him again with a “fighting!” before walking to wherever. 

Taehyung knows the nurse is right. It is hard to believe that someone will step in and say, “I want to donate my heart!” because who wants to give up life so easily? The important aspect is that Taehyung will stay until the very end. Jungkook can’t leave, and it’s a fact that everything will affect his mental health, so Taehyung will have to do his best for both of them. It may seem unfair, but he’s 100% sure Jungkook would do the same if the situation was switched. The only difference is that Jungkook would’ve been in the damn room already, holding his hand and waiting for him to wake up. 

With sweaty palms, he finally musters up the courage to open the door. The room is almost pitch black when he enters. He quietly closes it and navigates his way to the bed. After much scrambling, he flicks on the lamp. The faint light shines onto Jungkook’s sleeping face. He looks so peaceful currently. Nobody would suspect him to have heart complications nor paralyzed legs. Nobody would think that he will die in two months or less. Taehyung’s legs feel weak, and he falls onto the chair. 

He watches how steady Jungkook’s chest is rising up and down as his light snores reverberate in the room. His heart is slamming against his chest like a sledgehammer. It aches because he might not have Jungkook anymore. What would he do if he lost him forever? They had a small breakup two years ago, but they were being immature and they made up very quickly with regrets and tears. This is completely different. Once Jungkook is gone, he’s gone for good. He would be a pale, cold corpse. The eyes he loves staring into will be blank and dull. He won’t be able to see that bunny smile that fills his entire being with butterflies and rainbows. Oh, it’s so powerful when he wears Taehyung’s hoodies that are a size too big. “Smells like you, Hyungie. Doesn’t make me feel lonely.” He won’t hear his wonderful voice anymore - the voice that eases his heart and brings him remedy. 

He’s becoming light-headed promptly. It’s hard to grasp a proper breath, and the world is beginning to tilt. He tries to blink away the black spots forming in his vision. The strain in his heart and the fear of being alone intensifies by thousands. Everything is spinning. Then, he collapses. 

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The first thing Taehyung notices when he slightly regains consciousness is that his back is sore like hell. Light leaks through his eyelids when he opens them, resulting in a pounding headache. He groans and shifts to his side where he can open his eyes in peace. Once they did, they were immediately met with Jungkook’s doe ones. 

If he wasn’t awake before, he certainly is now. He sits up so quickly that Jungkook almost missed it happening. “Jagiya, you’re awake.” Jungkook raises an eyebrow at the statement. He slowly sits up.

“Shouldn’t I be saying that? Also, just because I’m in a hospital bed, doesn’t mean you should be in one too.” Hospital bed? Taehyung ignores the joke as eyes travel down to the uncomfortable cot he was lying on. Ah, so that is why his back is sore. He yawns and rubs his eyes, “technically, it’s a cot.” 

“Still belongs to the hospital.”   

“Brat.” 

“Indeed I am.”

“Jesus Christ-.”

“It’s Jungkook, but I can see how you mixed that up.” 

“...I can’t deal with you right now.”

“You love me though.”

“You’re lucky I do.” Taehyung takes the time to stretch while his boyfriend is sassing him. Who has the energy to deal with such things after they wake up? Wait, why was he sleeping in the first place? He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but it’s broad daylight now. Also, the nurses would’ve told him visiting hours were over and kicked him out. “What happened?” He mumbled to himself; however, the latter heard it loud and clear.

“You fainted.” Jungkook stated. 

“I did?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Not really.” Taehyung shakes the thought out of his head because he’s not the one they should be concerned over right now. He reaches for Jungkook’s hands and sandwiches them. It’s no surprise that Jungkook’s hands are cold. They’re always cold. “How are you feeling?” He said in a serious tone. They’re no longer playing around. Jungkook lowers his head, “okay, I guess...for now.” He whispers the last part out loud. Taehyung heard it nevertheless.  

Jungkook lifts his head up and turns to his older boyfriend. Now that Taehyung takes a better look at him, there are tear tracks and his eyes are dry. Did he cry alone while he was out? There’s only one reason why he cried. Either he was worried about him fainting or he knows. It’s most likely the latter. “Oh, Jungkookie.” He climbs in and squeezes himself next to him. 

Then, he wastes no time wrapping his arms around him. Jungkook instantly latches onto him and hides his face against his broad chest. Jungkook cries-no, he wails. Jungkook cried yesterday; today, his grief is boosted up to another level. There is pure sadness in his sobs as heavy, salty tears flow down his face in waterfalls. His fists hold his shirt tightly as if it is the only thing keeping him alive. In this case, it might be. 

“It will be okay.” Taehyung said, trying to bring some hope. He’s doubting his own words though. Every sob rips him apart little by little. It hurts so damn much. So much that a round of tears are blurring his vision. His drops land on Jungkook’s midnight hair. The other must have felt them because he cries even harder , and Taehyung didn’t think it was possible. He has no right to stop him from showing his true feelings though, for nobody would be happy with this unfortunate event.

“No. No, it won’t be, Hyung.” Jungkook sniffed. His voice is muffled in his shirt. “I’m dying.” He can’t imagine leaving his hyung so soon. He would rather live with all the handicaps in the world than leave his hyung forever. He wants more time with him - to love and cherish him - but it seems like the gods have a different plan. 

“But you’re not alone. I promised I would be there every step of the way, and that’s what I’m going to do.” Some strength is returning to his wobbly voice, but the tears and pain remain the same. 

“It’s not fair to you.” 

“Not to you either.” Jungkook is his flower. He is the most beautiful person in his life that he nurtured and cared for. He was just a seed when they met. After much water, sunlight, and love, he bloomed into a rare, marvelous flower. However, that flower is starting to slowly wither away as it has reached its limits. 

They spend the rest of the day in each other’s arms. They need to feel the other in order to know the other is actually here. Their presence is their pillar. One of them would randomly break down throughout the day. They are so scared that the nurses didn’t have the heart to tell Taehyung that visiting hours were over. 

They shed enough tears yesterday. Today, Taehyung got up early while Jungkook was still sleeping and went out to buy something special. Jungkook wakes up an hour later, panicking when he doesn’t see his hyung. The anxiety disappears as soon as it arrives when Taehyung opens the door two minutes later with a plastic bag in hand. Jungkook eyes it, confused, and tilts his head to the side. A familiar scent reaches his nose, and he gasps, “Panda Express?”

Taehyung grins, “if you can’t go to a restaurant, might as well bring the restaurant to you.” Oh, this god. Jungkook must have stopped world wars in his past life if he had this perfect man in front of him now. He cannot emphasize how sick he is of hospital food. They were always either too bland or too salty, and he had an immense crave for fast food. Panda Express is his favorite and it is where they had their first date. 

“You’re a god, Taehyung-Hyung!” He exclaimed as he nearly drooled over the food. It’s not out of the bag yet, but he knows he got his favorite. 

“That I am.” The elder smirked. He was taken aback when the younger suddenly threw himself onto him, hugging him gratefully. He delightfully returns the gesture. He leans down and presses his lips on the top of his head. “I love you.” 

“Love you too, Hyung.” Jungkook responded back when they broke apart. He takes the chance to peck those delicate lips. “Can we eat now?” 

Jungkook’s eyes shine so brightly as drool slides down the side of his mouth at the gorgeous sight of fast food. He wipes it away and bounces in his seat, impatient and ready to dig in. He didn’t expect Taehyung to hold a fork in front of him though. “What are you doing?” He couldn’t help but ask. 

“Feeding you.” Taehyung simply said. 

“I’m sick, not stupid. Plus, I’m not a baby, Hyung.” 

“But you’re my baby.” The muscles inside Jungkook involuntarily cringe from how disgustingly cheesy that sounded. Yet, he couldn’t stop the faint blush that heats up his cheeks. He faces away from Taehyung, embarrassed. “S-shut up.” In contrast to his words, he happily allows the elder to spoil him.

He used to have a problem with affection and coddling based on the life he grew up in. The people who were supposed to love him, didn't, and those who did, pitied him. It was a long journey for him to completely crumble his walls. Nonetheless, he learned that Taehyung cared not because he had to but because he wanted to. 

The next day, Taehyung brought their Nintendo switches, and they played all day. Nothing can beat their competitive spirits. They spent most of it in the garden since they didn’t want to disturb the other patients with their shouts and cheers. 

They did various activities each day. There was a day when Jungkook suggested that they try meditation to relax their minds and bodies. It didn’t work. They couldn’t sit still nor stay quiet for too long because one would always end up bursting into a spiral of laughter. They’re not too sure how, but it ended up a mini wrestling match and Taehyung pushing Jungkook around as fast as possible in the hallways and outside. 

Some days are filled with tons of laughter while others are more calming. When Jungkook wouldn’t be one-hundred percent and would be extremely exhausted, the couple would cuddle in bed all day as they have small talks and watch random videos on YouTube. They went into a fit of tears when they dared to rewatch the last episode of the Kdrama, Goblin . “How dare you make me see it again!” Jungkook cried then playfully slapped Taehyung in the shoulder. 

“It was your idea!” Taehyung argued before blowing his nose in a tissue. Damn, for a guy who rarely cries, he’s been doing that a lot recently.

“You should’ve stopped me! You’re the hyung!” Their puffy eyes connect before they start laughing hysterically, forming more tears. 

“I-I can’t breathe!” Taehyung laughed. Once the two finally breath and calm down, they stare lovingly into their eyes, studying each other’s features. There is a beat of silence until Jungkook suddenly asks, “do you believe that?”

“Believe what?” 

“That we met in our past lives and were lovers too. Do you think we reincarnated to find each other again?” He refers to the show they were just watching. In it, each person has four lives, and they reunite with their past friends, enemies, and lovers. Taehyung’s hand cups the right side of Jungkook’s cheeks, caressing it delicately. “Yeah, because our love isn’t a coincidence. We are the two who found our destiny.” 

Jungkook holds the hand on his warm cheek without breaking eye contact. “I love you, Hyung.” 

“I love you too, Angel.” The two have never failed to remind the other that every single day. They’re living together with a time limit, and within each second, they will always show how much they cherish their treasure. 

It’s been about a month. Taehyung happily walks through the front door. The receptionist greets him and allows him to pass without filling any paperwork. He is a very frequent visitor, so she knows who he is here for. Taehyung enters the elevator and presses the button to the third floor. He doesn’t have any exciting plans for Jungkook today, so he’ll do whatever Jungkook feels like doing. 

The door slides open only to reveal Jungkook. After realizing who it is, his face morphs into surprise. Does he need to go somewhere? He’s going to ask what he’s up to. That is, until he observes the way Jungkook guiltily looks at the floor like he did about a month ago. He couldn't hide the way he was biting his chapped lips or the way his fingers fidget or how his ears turn red. Jungkook is a terrible liar and Taehyung glues the puzzle pieces together. 

 He doesn’t do anything. He stands there with a really disappointed expression. “Jungkook, you aren’t doing what I think you are doing, right?” He fumed, not bothering to conceal the anger in his voice. 

“H-Hyung, I-.” Jungkook stuttered, a tad afraid. Taehyung sighs and brushes his hair back. He wheels him back to his room and helps him onto the bed. Jungkook didn’t dare to peek at Taehyung, and Taehyung feels slightly bad for scaring the other. However, he couldn’t believe the other had the audacity to do this again! 

“I’m sorry.” Jungkook apologized. 

“For what? Breaking your promise? Or, for trying to escape without thinking about how your boyfriend would feel?” Taehyung snapped, ignoring the flinch the other did at his harsh tone. 

“All of it?” 

“Are you though? You promised me you wouldn’t try something like this again. You honestly thought you could go out in this condition?”

“I-I needed air, Hyung. Everything felt like it was closing in on me and I needed to run. I felt like I was suffocating.” Jungkook tried to reason. He knows it renders useless because Taehyung wouldn’t accept any excuse from him. 

“I thought we established that if you felt that way, you would call me.” 

“I don’t want to depend on you so much!” 

“What do you mean by that? I’m your boyfriend!”

“I really appreciate you being here for me everyday, but aren’t you getting sick of it? I mean, you don’t have any more personal time because of me! It’s not fair to you, Hyung.” 

“How dare you even think of me like that! Jungkook, if I wanted free time, I would’ve stopped visiting all together and left you alone.” Taehyung couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He can’t believe his boyfriend had the audacity to even think of something like that. He loves spending every moment with Jungkook. If he could stay overnight, he would because he loves the other with all of his heart. He doesn’t know what makes him angrier at this point: the fact that Jungkook broke his promise or the fact that he let his insecurity get the best of him.

“...there must be something else you want to do.” Jungkook whispered. 

“I'd rather be here with you all day.” 

“Hyung! Look at me!” Jungkook’s arms present his body. “I’m so fucking useless! I can’t walk, and my heart is fucking tiny! I can’t do things on my own anymore. I’m only a burden!” 

“You know none of that matters to me. You could be blind too, and I would still love you!” They are so lost in their lividness that they didn’t realize they were screaming at each other. 

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t!” Jungkook shouted. Tears are burning in his eyes, but he fights them back. “I’m just a waste of your time. You could be hanging out with your friends and doing normal things instead of spending every second of your life with me in a hospital. Hell, you could visit your family. I know they’ve been dying to see you. I...I want you to be happy, Hyung.” He whispered the last part out. He didn’t mention how he didn’t want Taehyung to hurt more than needed. He could literally die anytime. The more memories they make, the harder it will be for him to let him go. He doesn’t want him to live in misery. Taehyung is a person who has a difficult time moving on. If he lets him go now, he could be happier. Afterall, who would want someone who constantly needs help? 

It’s not that he isn’t thankful to Taehyung. Hell, it’s pretty much impossible to prove how much he is. Taehyung putting him first makes his heart warm and fluttery. He’s on Cloud 9. The problem is that he feels selfish. He desperately wishes Taehyung to be there until the very end, but it only will end up with him being terribly upset. His hyung has always been selfless, so it’s his turn to think about his happiness first even if it means he will have to sacrifice his. He’s doing this because he loves him. Nothing more and nothing less.  

On the other hand, Taehyung is raging. His blood is boiling and is about to spill over. He despises the bullshit that is coming out of the other’s mouth. He explodes when he hears Jungkook whispering, “admit it. You don't want to be near a freak like me.” Blinded by red, seething anger, he loses his rationality to understand where Jungkook is coming from. He fails to comprehend how everything has been affecting the younger’s mental health and how scared he is to lose him. 

Instead, he does the worst and shouts back, “fine! You’re right. I come here everyday to keep you company because I know how much you hate hospitals, but most of all, you hate being alone. Apparently, I never knew what an ungrateful and selfish bitch you really are! Yeah, I could be hanging out with my friends. I could be having coffee with them right now or going to the movie theater. I can’t because of you . I’m trying to be a nice person here, but if you’re pushing me away without a second thought, then fine, I’ll leave. You’ll die here alone. Nobody would mourn for you because you can’t appreciate what I’m doing for you. Go to hell!” 

Jungkook gazes at his hyung in utter shock. He knew he would be angry, but he never thought he really thought that about him. Did he really hate him that much? Was he dating him because he pitied him? Did he ever mean anything when he said “I love you”? Heck, if he dies, would he not miss him? Hot tears pour down his face as those words rip his insides. How did everything go wrong so fast? They were literally having the best time of their life yesterday. He can feel his heart shattering into unrepairable pieces. The pain in his chest is the worst he has dealt with. This is way worse than coughing up blood to the point of blacking out. It hurts and nothing can heal it. 

He chokes out a sob and buries his face in his hands. Taehyung huffs and just starts walking away. He didn’t look back when he closed the door. He just left . He just left Jungkook there crying and experiencing the worst pain in his entire life. Jungkook cries harder at Taehyung’s empty presence. He’s wailing so hard that his body is trembling like a leaf in the wind. The truth aches so badly that he just wants to rip his heart out with his bare hands. Was it better to keep everything to himself and enable him to believe that Taehyung actually cared until the end? What would have Taehyung done if there was a donor and he was able to live? At least he learned the truth. At least he learned knowing that nobody would care if he died. 

Jungkook was too focused on the overflowing emotions to notice that he wasn’t taking proper breaths. His hiccups and his breath hitches so frequently that he is having a panic attack. Nothing made sense to him anymore. He just wants everything to stop. His wish was granted minutes later when he blacks out. 

Meanwhile, Taehyung marches out of the hospital and into his car. He’s so furious with Jungkook’s behavior. Sure, there were times when he wanted to do stuff but couldn’t because he didn’t want to leave Jungkook alone. He curses when a car honks at him to drive when the light turns green. 

He’s uncertain where he’s driving, but he’ll let his instincts do their thing. Right now, he cannot deal with this drama. He makes a right and soon finds himself in a park nearby his high school. He slams the car door closed with all of his strength before locking it. He shoves his hands in his pocket and walks over to a certain bench. 

It isn’t just any bench. This is the bench where Taehyung confessed his love to Jungkook and asked him to be his boyfriend. He remembers the stupid speech he prepared the night before but then completely blanked out when it actually happened. God, he must have looked so stupid and awkward in front of Jungkook. Yet, Jungkook smiled the whole time. Taehyung traces the edge of it where they carved their names there. KTH+JJK

The anger eventually dissipates, and he sighs tiredly. He sits on the bench that holds many special, happy, and precious memories between them like the time when they shared ice cream which resulted in Jungkook basically painting his face with it. His head clears up the fog in his mind, and he’s able to think a little more validly. Taehyung knows Jungkook has his insecurities because of the treatment and prejudice he grew up with. There were times when Jungkook doubted Taehyung’s love mainly because of his health complications. 

Today must have been one of those days, but he doesn’t know why it blew him up. They usually talk it out, shed some tears, and finish with some Boba tea and a cheesy movie. Perhaps Taehyung was scared. He converted that fear into resentment and allowed it to control him. He’s…..he’s terrified of losing Jungkook. When Jungkook was asking him to avoid him in order to be happy, he lost it. Not being there for him frightened him because Jungkook could die the one day he isn’t there. 

Taehyung sits up hastily with a horrid expression. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! How could he say those things to Jungkook!? How could he possibly even think of that? He didn’t know he was capable of spewing out such ugliness. Such nastiness. He’s disgusted in himself. He covers his mouth as endless potential consequences play in his mind. Jungkook has to be devastated. Who wouldn’t? He said so many things he didn’t mean. He truly didn’t! Jungkook doesn’t know that though. 

Jungkook may never forgive or trust him after what he did. He utilized his most vulnerable parts as a weapon and stabbed him in the worst ways possible. Jungkook probably doesn’t want to see him. If that is the case, then so be it. Taehyung will spend the rest of life earning his trust back. He will keep his promise. 

He’s startled when his phone rings in his pocket. He hurriedly picks up when the ID caller is from the hospital. He’s hoping Jungkook’s phone died and that he’s borrowing the hospital’s. “Hello?” 

“Taehyung.” He frowns in bitterness when he recognizes the receptionist’s voice. “I’m sorry to inform you that Jungkook-.” The color drains from his face. He thinks of the worst and tears flood his vision. He hangs up and rushes to his car. He reaches the place record time after breaking dozens of traffic laws. He’s surprised the police didn’t pull him over. It’s like they could feel his desperation. 

He slides through the elevator door before it fully opens on the third floor. He arrives just in time to see nurses and doctors rapidly passing by while moving a bed. In that glimpse, his eyes land on his worst nightmare. Jungkook is deadly pale - white as the sheets below him - and appears so weak. He’s unconscious. The tear tracks act as scars. A gas mask is covering his mouth as Dr. Kim is performing CPR. He immediately follows them down the familiar hallway where everything began six months ago. 

A nurse blocks his way when they pass the doors. “I’m sorry, but you can’t go in here. Dr. Kim is operating on Jungkook, and he needs to focus.” How many times has he heard that? Taehyung fights a little before giving up. His legs give up on him and he falls onto his knees. The nurse gives him a sympathetic face before joining the others. 

Taehyung stays in that pathetic position for hours . He’s like a puppy waiting for his owner to open the front door. He’s trapped in the maze of his thoughts. He’s fucking terrified. He’s scared that their fight will push Jungkook over the edge. He’s terrified of the fact that he and his words could have killed him. He was supposed to be there and to support him; however, he fucked up and may end up murdering him. 

Another ten minutes pass. The doors finally open, but only the doctors come out. Dr. Kim helps Taehyung up onto one of the waiting chairs. His eyes are too dry. He practically ran out of tears to cry. “J-Jungkook. Is he-” dead ? He didn’t have the courage to mutter the last word. Dr. Kim peers at Taehyung seriously. “No. Not yet. His heart gave in, but we were able to save him in time and put him on an artificial heart.”

“Artificial heart?” 

“It’s a machine we use during surgery, mostly transplants, to force the heart to pump. It’s applying the pressure to keep him alive.” Dr. Kim explained. Taehyung’s eyebrows are brought together, baffled. 

“So, is Jungkook going to continue living with this?” Dr. Kim shakes his head. “This is only keeping him alive temporarily. Usually, we wouldn’t let the patient suffer like this, so I’m asking you when you can give us permission.” 

“Permission? For what?” He gulps which only adds more to the sickening feeling in his guts. 

“To pull the cord.” He didn’t think it was possible for this day to go any worse. To pull the cord? That means Jungkook will die. No, he can’t let Jungkook die with the last memory of them fighting. He has to wake up so he can beg on his knees for forgiveness. Regret is drowning him. He manages to nod. Dr. Kim pats his shoulder reassuringly, recognizing how terrible the situation is. “You have an hour. Jeon Jungkook fought hard and well.” 

“Is there any other way to save him? I don’t care how much it costs. I will-!” 

“Unless a donor miraculously comes within the hour, then yes. I apologize. I can’t do anything else.” 

“Can I see him?” Taehyung said. His voice was barely above a whisper, and he was surprised that the doctor heard him. 

“Of course.” In shaky steps, Taehyung walks through the doors. He gasps when he sees the love of his life on the table. There are millions of wires on him, and the gas mask is still there. The IV is pumping drugs into him. There is a hole in the area where his heart is. Taehyung almost throws up at the blood and graphic sight. He swallows it down when he takes a good look at Jungkook’s heart. As Dr. Kim described, there is a small machine pumping the heart. It looks painful if he’s going to be honest. 

He takes hold of one of Jungkook’s hands, being cautious of the IV drip and other wires. His heart drops to his stomach from how cold it is. It’s almost like a corpse. “Angel, I’m so, so, so sorry.” He thought he dried out his tears, but some made his way to his eyes. “I didn’t mean any of the things I said today. Forgive me! Please, I know I messed up. I don’t know how else to express how sorry I feel. I’ll do anything! I don’t want you to leave this world feeling sad. It’s all my fault. You were worried about my happiness, and I am so thankful. I didn't mean to call you ungrateful or a bitch. I'm so sorry. If I could give you my heart, I would. If only we had the same blood type. 

I’m not sure if you believe me anymore, but I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that you mean the whole world to me. You deserve more than what this world has to offer. Your sweet doe eyes are unlike any others. Your smile is so radiant that it puts the sun to shame. You’re so perfect. I know everyone has imperfections, but to me, even with all your imperfections and flaws, you’re still...perfect. Your heart may appear small, but it’s bigger than anybody I know.” He repeats what he said in high school. He knows how precious those words are to Jungkook. 

“You always listened to what I had to say, and you have endlessly supported me. I just wish I could do the same for you.” He hiccups as he can’t control his grief. “It’s selfish of me to want you to continue living. It’s wrong of me to ask for forgiveness when you are in such a fragile state. You’re suffering so much, aren’t you? You had a hard life where everyone was unkind. I...I hope heaven treats you well. I hope the angels treat you so much better. Remember, I will always love you. You will always be my beautiful angel, and nothing can ever change that.” He gives him a final kiss to his forehead.

With his promise at heart, he is determined to stay there, holding his hand, until Dr. Kim releases him into the afterlife. The room smells foul - filled with bleach, metal, and blood. It doesn’t bother him, for he is so focused on keeping Jungkook’s hand warm. He’s trying to let him know that he’s here. He would never make the same mistake ever again. 

He doesn’t know how, but his guts are telling him that Jungkook knows that he’s here for him now. Taehyung wishes he could do more, but he doesn’t want to risk any infections and whatnot. He remains silent throughout it all, praying for a miracle. Knowing Jungkook, he wouldn’t want words right now. He just wants Taehyung or somebody there. Jungkook has always been afraid of loneliness and abandonment. He was conditioned that way. Afterall, the worst feeling in the world is when someone you love and trust so much betrays you. 

An hour passes by far too quickly to his likings. Dr. Kim walks in with the same nurses following him. They allow Taehyung to do his last mourning as they prepare for the end. They try to delay it, but eventually, Taehyung has to let Jungkook go. 

“It’s time.” Dr. Kim said, breaking the silence. Taehyung refuses to respond back. His eyes haven’t left Jungkook’s face nor has he released his hand. Dr. Kim understands and places his hand on the cord that is connected to Jungkook’s heart. Goodbye, Jungkook. I love you. Taehyung said in his mind. 

Everyone in the room is startled to death when the doors fly open. Taehyung finally peels his eyes away from the intruder. He turned so fast he thought he got a whiplash. A blonde, short doctor is breathing heavily. His hands are on his knees as if he ran a marathon here. If Taehyung recalls correctly, he’s the other heart specialist in this hospital. “Dr. Park.” Dr. Kim greeted him. 

“...save him.” Dr. Park breathed out. He was so out of breath that they couldn’t hear the first part. 

“What?” The other surgeon finally stands up straight. He looks like he has seen God or has found the holy grail. He dusts himself off. 

“We can save him. There’s been a last minute donor who is compatible with Jeon Jungkook.” He clarified. 

“...what?” Everyone, except for Dr. Park gasped. Taehyung, who has been standing for an hour straight, stumbles over to the doctor. He gazes at him in hope and desperation that says, “don’t you dare prank me.” 

“Y-you can save him? Jungkook c-can live?” 

“If the operation goes well, then yes.” He detaches his gaze to Dr. Kim. “I’m free now, so I’ll work with you to increase the chances of him surviving the surgery.” Dr. Kim smirks, ready to take action. “Then, what are we waiting for?” 

As he and the nurses arrange everything, Taehyung and Dr. Park exit. Of course, unlike their fight, Taehyung glances behind him, hesitating, before departing. He rests on a chair, processing what just happened. His eyes are blown wide and his mouth stands agape. A fucking miracle occurred, and he cannot thank the generous person enough. 

“I can’t believe it.” He whispered. 

“Neither can I.” Dr. Park responded. “It’s not everyday someone volunteers to save someone who is about to be put down.” 

“C-can I see or know who it is? I want to thank them properly.” 

“Unfortunately, the donor decided to keep his information private.” Dr. Park said, then reached in his coat for something. He pulls out a navy-blue envelope and hands it to Taehyung. “He did, however, wish to give this to Jungkook.” Taehyung gratefully accepts the letter and secures it in the pocket in his jacket. 

A male nurse notifies him that they are ready, and Dr. Park nods. He gives Taehyung one final look before striding in, “I promise Dr. Kim and I will do everything in our power to save Jungkook.” When he disappears, the lights that spell, “in surgery,” lights up. Now, Taehyung can do nothing but hope the doctors do their magic. 

The next thing he knows is that someone is calling his name softly and barely shaking him awake. “Hm?” Taehyung mumbled, half-conscious. It takes a moment for his brain to register that Dr. Kim and Dr. Park are in front of him. His eyes snap open, fully awake, and rises from his seat. He opens his mouth to ask how it went but no words escape. His throat tightens up, refusing to know if a catastrophe occurred. 

The older men smile triumphantly simultaneously. “We did it. Jungkook is officially out of danger with a brand new, and healthy heart.” Dr. Park stated proudly. Taehyung shrieks at the news and hugs them. “Thank you!” He cried. Gosh, he’s crying again. It hasn’t been 24 hours yet but this is his third breakdown of the day. However, he’ll allow these tears any day. They are tears of joy and appreciation. He’s so grateful to the doctors, nurses, and most of all, the donor. “Thank you so much.” 

“It was our pleasure.” Dr. Kim replied, slightly suffocating in the hug. The trio break apart, and Taehyung clears his throat, embarrassed for his sudden affection. “You will be able to see your boyfriend very soon. The nurses are doing the final checkup and cleaning up before they wheel him to his room. He will be in room 613 this time. He most likely won’t wake up until tomorrow afternoon, and I will give you the full recovery procedure in an hour or so.” 

The three end with a bow before going their own way. Taehyung doesn’t waste any time zooming to the elevators. He’s almost bouncing in place, ecstatic with the results. Oh, Jungkook would be so happy when he wakes up! He nearly barrels into the nurse who was going out of the designated room. Once he makes it inside, he freezes. Behind the curtains is Jungkook - a healthier Jungkook who can do so much more in the future. It’s only a shame that Jungkook is paralyzed waist down. He could have finally tried sports. It doesn’t matter though. He’ll be thankful for what he has now. He wouldn’t have Jungkook in the first place anyways. 

With a deep breath, he steps towards the bed. He pulls back the curtain and smiles. It’s nine at night, but the moonlight does its job as it shines on his boyfriend, causing him to glow. Jungkook is no longer deadly white. The regular, light tan has returned, and he doesn’t appear as dead anymore. His lips are chapped, but they still look so kissable. Taehyung pulls a chair and sits. He has to admit that the chairs on the sixth floor are much more comfortable than the ones on the third. These at least have cushions, so his ass wouldn’t be painfully sore later. 

He’s taken aback when Jungkook’s hands are warm. Because his heart couldn’t pump enough blood, his hands were always cold. Jungkook was generally chilly most of the time. At  this moment forward, he can feel his angel’s warmth. Wary of the stitches, he leans over and kisses his nose. 

At that moment, he knows everything will be fine. Or at least, better. He still has to apologize for his outburst, but that’s for tomorrow. He sighs when he realizes it will be another night on the couch across the room. He really doesn’t mind if it means he can be by Jungkook’s side. 

A pounding headache would be the understatement of the year. Jungkook silently groans, wondering why he was in so much pain yet he felt floaty and light at the same time. It must be the drugs. They must have pumped him with something strong if he feels this way. He’s been hooked up to these IVs for far too long. 

Exhaustion is wavering over him, and he also guesses that it comes from the drugs. The question was why did he need them? He decides to open his eyes, but immediately shuts them when the lights worsens his headache. Then, he tries to sit up, only to be met with a flaring pain in his chest. He couldn’t hold back his cry as he collapsed back down. What is going on? The pain in his chest is a reminder of what happened yesterday. He and Taehyung had a terrible fight, and now, Taehyung is gone. 

Tears wet his eyes as he couldn’t decide if it was the physical, mental, or emotional pain that hurt the worst. He lets out a whimper, wanting someone to be here to tell him that everything will be okay. As far as he knows now, he doesn’t have anyone else. 

With his eyes still closed, he certainly didn’t expect a hand to gently start stroking through his hair, an effort to calm him down. It must be one of the sweet nurses. The person shushes him softly, “you’re okay. I know it hurts. I already called for the doctor.” Wait, that voice sounded awfully familiar. How could he not recognize it? The deep, honey, and silky voice that belongs to his (ex-)boyfriend. He must be delusional from the medicines. He misses him so much that he is hallucinating that the other is here. 

Once the headache lessens, he successfully opens his eyes. His vision blurs for a hot second, making him nauseous, before everything becomes clear. He realizes the lights are dimmed, and the hand is still comforting him. He didn’t even notice how the person’s other hand was holding his until this moment. To his surprise, he sees Taehyung when he turns his head. Again, he has to be hallucinating. 

Taehyung smiles at him. Oh, he already misses that smile. “How are you feeling?” The elder asked. 

“Hurts.” He rasped, voice as dry as the desert. “W-water.” Taehyung fetches him a plastic cup with a straw and places it on his lips. He drinks it happily, moaning as the cool contents slide down his throat. That grabs his attention. If he was an illusion, then how would he be able to help him? 

Jungkook eyes Taehyung carefully. “Taehyung-Hyung?” 

“Yes, Angel?” The latter didn’t miss a beat to reply.

“Are you real?” He was constantly doubting himself. Taehyung chuckles a bit, “yes, I am. Why would you think so?” 

“The drugs. We had that fight too. The real Taehyung wouldn’t want to be near me.” He doesn’t miss the instant frown that forms on Taehyung’s lips. Guilt and regret is ridden all over his face. Speaking of his face, it’s a mess. There are poorly hidden tear tracks and other human fluids. He looks like he bawled his eyes out to the point where they’ll be dry forever. Jungkook doesn’t think he has seen Taehyung cry so hard before. He wasn’t even there, and if this is the result, it must have taken a toll on him. 

“Jagiya, I’m so sorry for what happened. I truly didn’t mean what I said yesterday. There’s no excuse for my actions, but please, forgive me.” Taehyung said from the bottom of his heart. 

“How do I know that though? Your words really hurt me to the point where I believed them. You know how insecure I am, and you used that against me.” The truth hurts. Taehyung cannot deny that because he acknowledges the problem too. 

“There’s no way. We just have to look forward. I’ll do my best to prove to you that you’re mine only. I will until the end of time and after. Remember, our love isn’t a coincidence. I have another life to show you my love for you too.” Jungkook couldn’t help but feel foolish for forgiving him so quickly. He’s so whipped for him, but there is this underlying fear that they would break apart again. Sure, they are bound to have more fights in the future, but he hopes they don’t go as far as yesterday. 

Taehyung wipes his stray tears away and locks their foreheads together. “I’m here. You won’t be able to get rid of me so easily. I love you.” 

“Hyung,” Jungkook sniffed. “Don’t ever do that again. Please don’t leave me.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“It felt like I was dying.” Jungkook admitted. At that, Taehyung pulls away. The severe seriousness on his face has Jungkook’s insides churning. The pain in his chest is long forgotten. “Hyung?” Sandwiching his hands like he always does, he sits back down. “You were, Jungkook. You almost died if it hadn’t been for a miracle.” 

Jungkook’s eyes go as wide as Texas. He could have...died? No, he remembers the agony and black out, but it was like the other attacks, right? His questions are answered when he slowly peels off the hospital dress. A lump forms in his throat when he sees the stitches on his chest. He had to have surgery? 

“What happened?” Unaware that he has a new heart, he thought he’s end was coming very soon. Taehyung is fast to reassure him, “the fight caused your heart to give out. When I came, the doctors were performing CPR on you as they wheeled you into one of the operation rooms.” He doesn’t think it’s a good idea to shove all this information so early since Jungkook just woke up, but he has the right to know. He’s going to know one way or another. 

“Hours later, Dr. Kim came out and told me your heart stopped. However, he managed to put you on an artificial heart, a machine that forcibly pumps your heart, to keep you alive.” He takes a deep breath as the hardest part arrives. “They couldn’t keep you alive for much longer. So, they gave me an hour before they would pull the plug.” 

“I-I-what?” Jungkook stammered. It’s beyond shocking that he was actually on the brink of death. The scary part is that he had no idea. He would’ve left this world, depressed and with their fight as his last memory. His face scrunches when his chest tightens and he can't breathe. Taehyung notices and says, “Breathe, Jagiya. I’m sorry for bombarding you with so much frightening information so soon. You’re okay now. Breathe with me.”

Jungkook copies Taehyung and after a few more trials, he calms down. He gives him a weak smile to express his gratitude. He is rewarded with a smile back. “W-what happened next?”

“Are you sure-?”

“I need to know. Please.” Taehyung double then triple checks if Jungkook is truly fine to continue. 

“Well, the hour was up, and they were about to pull the cord. Dr. Kim’s hand was literally on the switch when Dr. Park barged in. Apparently, a donor with your blood type volunteered to give you his heart, which is fucking miraculous. So, they performed surgery on you, and now, you have a new heart.” A donor came? He was literally about to leave this world, but this unknown person willingly gave up his life for his? This guy is his savior. He only wishes he could properly thank you beforehand though. “Who is he?” Jungkook asked, curious. 

Taehyung shrugged, “I don’t know. He wanted to keep his information private, but he did give you a letter.” Jungkook is amazed. Not only was this person selfless enough to give up his life for a stranger, but he also wrote something for him. Jungkook is the one who should’ve written something before the man died. 

The older boyfriend hands him the letter. Before he could open it, Dr. Kim walked in. He greets him with a kind smile, “ah, I see you are awake. How are you feeling?” 

“Alright. In a lot of pain though.’ 

“I would up the pain killers, but you shouldn’t take anymore. We already have given you the maximum dosage. Is it bearable?”

“I guess. Thank you, Dr. Kim.” The doctor does a couple check ups and asks a few questions before telling the couple the recovery plan. Jungkook would need to be monitored for another week or two in case of infections or other risks. He thought he was dreaming when Dr. Kim said he could be discharged after that if everything goes smoothly. Fucking finally! After six months in this hospital, he is so ready to go back to his and Taehyung’s shared apartment. Who wouldn’t? 

They thank him once more before he flees to tend to another patient. Not a moment later, Jungkook yawns, exhausted. He has only been awake for an hour at most, but he feels so tired. Taehyung notes it and tucks him in. “Sleep, Jagiya. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Jungkook yawns again. “Thanks, Hyung. I really do appreciate your efforts and support.” That strikes a chord in Taehyung. He gulps at the memory of calling him “ungrateful.” What a terrible boyfriend he was. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” He apologized. 

“I know.” 

“Still-.”

“God, Hyungie, you’re fine. We all make mistakes.” Taehyung honestly isn’t convinced, but he will take what he can get. He still plans to be there forever, and nothing will change that. “Love you, Hyung.” The younger could barely keep his eyes open. The way Taehyung is brushing his hair gently isn’t helping him either. 

“Love you too, Jungkookie.” The older pecks his forehead, and Jungkook takes his cue to succumb into the world of fantasy.  

---------------------------------------------------------

“No fair!” Jungkook whined when Taehyung’s name appeared on the screen. The word is shining, WINNER. “You cheated!” 

“And how did I do that?” Taehyung smirked, amused. Jungkook never lost well. He’s resisting the urge to laugh at his cute pout. He almost does when Jungkook crosses his arms and turns away with a huff. 

“You distracted me.” He said, pouting harder. 

“I just kissed you on the cheek. I do that all the time.” 

“Yeah, but not when we are playing video games! I was winning!” 

“All’s fair in love and war.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too.” Jungkook continues to refuse to glance at Taehyung. Taehyung knows he’s fooling around, not meaning anything. Okay, maybe catching him off guard is considered cheating, but he really wanted to win. He can’t give up his gaming champion crown yet. Besides, they both know Jungkook liked it. A sudden thought pops into his head, “oh yeah, Jungkookie, have you read the letter yet?” 

His focus is shifted back to his hyung. He scratches the back of his head, “I forgot about it actually.” He laughs sheepishly. Taehyung wants to facepalm. How could he forget about the letter that his hero wrote to him? Technically, he forgot too, but nobody has to be aware of that. 

“In my defense, I was in a lot of pain for the past week. I needed to recover.” Taehyung guesses that’s fair enough. He had no idea who it was, and reading it might cause more emotional pain for Jungkook, which is something none of them needed at the moment. 

Deep down, Jungkook feels just that. This stranger just died in order for him to live. He only hopes the stranger in heaven doesn’t regret his decision. He literally owns his heart now. How would he react to the letter? Would he burst into tears? Would he find closure from the guilt of someone dying for him? Would he be neutral about it but feel really thankful at the same time? “Hyung.” Jungkook called. 

“Yes?”

“What would you do if someone sacrificed their life for yours?” Jungkook couldn’t help but ask. He’s so lost in this spiral of emotions. He knows this person is good - maybe too good for this world - but he can’t wrap his head around why someone would do that. If he or she died and signed up to be a donor, then that’s a different story. Nevertheless, this person was alive and healthy enough to donate his heart. 

Taehyung sighs, knowing this question would come up sooner or later. He and Jungkook are two peas in a pod. He knows what is running through the other’s head. “I would just live life to the fullest. If I’m happy in the end, then neither you or the donor would regret it.” He answered honestly. Jungkook nods, agreeing. 

Finally, he reaches out and grabs the lonely envelope that has been sitting on the table for over a week. He carefully tears the envelope open, and multiple golden papers slip out. He certainly didn’t expect the person to write so much. He unfolds the paper, and the first two words already surprises him. He’s not sure if it’s a good or bad surprise though. Dear Jungkook . “Huh? This person knows me.” Jungkook muttered aloud, shocking Taehyung in the process. 

This makes it harder than it is to continue because if he knows him, then Jungkook probably does too. That means someone he cares about died for him, and he doesn’t think he can live with that guilt inside him. What bothers him is that he doesn’t know anyone aside from Taehyung who actually cares about him to this extent. He doesn’t recognize the handwriting either. 

Immersed, he continues reading word for word. The more sentences he reads, the more it feels like a knife is constantly stabbing his entire body. Confusion keeps piling on top of existing confusion. Taehyung sits beside him, dying in curiosity. Who is this mysterious hero? He observes how Jungkook pales a little, the way his eyes are blown wide, and his mouth is opened in disbelief. Then, the letter slips out of his fingers. Taehyung expected Jungkook to cry, not much but Jungkook was always a crier, but he definitely didn’t think the younger would start bawling his eyes out. 

Jungkook slowly turns his head to Taehyung with a frightening, shocked face that has Taehyung scared. “Angel? Are you okay?” He wants to slap himself for asking such a stupid question. Of course, he is anything but okay. He reaches over to the papers but pauses when Jungkook chokes out a “hyung.” 

It’s impossible. It has to be some joke because there is no way this person did what he did. There is no way. If someone told him years ago that ‘he’ would change and donate his heart, then he would’ve had the laugh of the year. He furiously wipes away his tears. Why is he always crying? Or rather, why is there always a reason to? 

“It w-was h-him.” He breathed out, still completely skeptical. “M-my father. H-he did it.” If Taehyung thought this whole situation was astounding enough, then this really put the cherry on top. He jumps out of his seat with a “WHAT!?” 

He snatches the message and skims through it. Dear Jungkook, I know I haven’t the best person in your life, and you probably hate me. That’s alright; you have every reason to, and it’s fine if you never forgive me. I’m not worthy of forgiveness from my behavior towards you. I have no excuse for my actions. Nothing justifies what I did. I promise that after you ran away, I was in ruins. Well, more ruined. That sounds unbelievable, right? Well, I was. Not only because my wife left me, but also because you did the exact same thing. There’s the saying, “you never know how precious something or someone is until they’re gone.” I definitely got a taste of that bitter medicine. 

I want to let you know that I sought therapy afterwards and spent the next couple years doing community service. However, none of that will ever recover the damage I’ve done to you. After a year of your disappearance, I finally found you. I...I didn’t have the courage to approach you because I’m a coward. You looked so happy and in peace that I didn’t want to cause more unnecessary trouble. So, I followed you home, and I was so glad that you were living independently and wonderfully with that friend of yours from childhood. 

Everything was good until it wasn’t. It broke my heart when I heard you got into an accident. I wanted to kill the bastard. It shattered me even more when your heart condition worsened. Funny, I know. I beat you because you weren’t “normal.” Now, here I am, feeling so sorry that this is how the world decided to treat you. One day, I finally had the courage to visit you, but when I was outside your door, you and your boyfriend (I think?) were having a terrible fight. After he stormed off, I thought this was my moment to be the person you wanted me to be. I thought I could comfort you, but to my shock, you were passed out. 

You looked terrible; it scared me, so I grabbed a doctor. When I thought the worst had passed, your heart stopped. At that moment, I knew what I had to do. The world needs you more than it needs me. So, I quickly signed the papers and gladly gave you my heart. It might not be the heart you want, but I took care of it for the past year in case of situations like this. You won’t have to worry about heart failure anymore. 

I entirely regret every single word I said to you. You aren’t “worthless” or “abnormal.” You are a fighter who has gone through so many hardships. I just wish I wasn’t part of those hardships. It wasn’t long, but as I watched you grow into the person you truly wanted to be, I became so, so proud of you. You became an incredible, kind, and wonderful person. You are someone I will never be. 

As for my last request, I hope you live life happily. I want you to smile and fight through the future obstacles. Don’t worry about the hospital bills, I already paid for them. Just focus on yourself and your happiness. Find a job you are passionate about and enjoy it. Get married and have a wonderful family. I know there isn’t much you can do with your paralyzed legs, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. You can finally travel around the world (the flight pressure won’t harm your heart). There are sports out there for the disabled like marathons. I love you, and you were my last dying breath. I don’t regret this decision. The papers are golden, matching your golden personality and your strength. 

Oh, your mother loved you very much. “More than anyone - more than life.” I love you too, Son. Fighting!

-Your Father,

Jeon Leehyun

Honestly, the couple thought he was the last person who would do such a thing. His father was a ruthless man who was always drunk or high. “It’s not fair.” Jungkook cried. He fists the blankets, knuckles blooming white. Anger, disbelief, and grief flows through his veins. Gritting his teeth, he shouts, “he has no right to call me his son after what he did! He can’t just blow this on me like this! It’s not fair! How could he do that to me!? Why did it have to be him of all people!? I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!” Taehyung launches himself onto him, hugging him. If he could, he would embrace so tight he would suffocate, but he didn’t want to reopen the stitches. Jungkook wails, confused about his feelings. Even when the old man is dead, he is still making him suffer. 

“F-father.” He croaked, voice raspy. “I-I just wanted t-to hear him say that. Just once.” He’s never heard his father say those three words - the words that he longed to hear. He was always jealous when other fathers praised their sons and showed them how much they loved them. Meanwhile, his dad hit him until there was a spot on his skin that wasn’t unmarked. He wanted to hear his father say, “I love you” once to him. 

He cries himself to sleep that night and the night after that. Everything is unrealistic. He’s glad his father changed and did that for him, but he wished he got to experience the love his father wanted to give him once. Sure, he would have exploded if his father approached him and claimed that he changed because he wouldn’t believe his bullshit. In time though, he would’ve welcomed him in his life again, and they could've had a regular father-son relationship. 

Whenever he looks at his chest, he’s reminded that he now has his father’s heart - a father’s true love but a remorseful one. Jungkook knows he will forgive his father’s doings in the future. Right now, he needs time to think. He thinks he’ll receive the closure he desires when he attends his father’s funeral in a month or so. 

“Hyung, hurry up!” Jungkook said, nearly bouncing on the wheelchair. It’s been fucking half a year, and nobody is going to stop him from leaving this time! Taehyung had to fill out some paperwork, and thanks to his father, they didn’t have to worry about the extremely expensive hospital bills. He really was ready to give up everything for him. Jungkook heard not too long ago that he sold his house and car in order to earn money for them. A small smile forms on his face. 

God, his hyung may be older than him, but it shouldn’t take this long to finish some paperwork! At this rate, he might as well just wheel his way out of here and leave his boyfriend here. “Hyung~!” Jungkook whined, tugging on the end of the older’s shirt. Taehyung can only roll his eyes at his antics. He will admit that he’s cute acting like a five-year-old who is desperately wanting ice cream. 

“In a minute, Angel.” He responded. Jungkook forms the biggest pout of his life and bites his inner cheek. 

“You said that five minutes ago and the five minutes before that!”

“Technically, you asked literally a minute ago. Also, the longer you complain and distract me, the longer it will take for me to fill everything out.” That shuts him up effectively. The pout hasn’t ceased quite yet, but he can’t help it! He’s about to leave this damn hospital for good! Well, he has to go back for a checkup in like two weeks, but that is the future’s problem. Taehyung knows that he will have to fight getting Jungkook into the hospital again. It might break some bones and form some bruises, but if he receives the checkup and treatment, then that’s all that matters. 

Taehyung scribbles the final parts of the form before handing it to the nurse who took care of Jungkook for six months. They thank her kindly, then Taehyung wheels Jungkook out. He stops at the entrance, and Jungkook looks behind him, wondering why his hyung halted. 

“Hyung?” He asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Are you ready?” Taehyung replied. 

“Hell yeah, I am! Get me out of this damn hospital already!”

“Now, where are your manners? That’s not how you ask someone who practically visits you almost every single day.” Jungkook knows that Taehyung is teasing him. He usually would tease back or make a remark, but he doesn’t want to waste time. The clock is ticking! 

“Please, Hyung!” Taehyung chuckled then nodded his head. The door slides open, and a gush of wind slaps their face. Then, they are outside. Jungkook does a (manly) squeal, “I’m free!” 

-----------------------------------------------

Two years later…

“GO Jungkook!” Taehyung cheered at the top of his lungs. He waves his banner above his head like a crazy fan. Jungkook and a couple others are cycling to the finish line. They are neck in neck with each other, and none of them intend to lose. Everyone watches in anticipation when they all seem to cross the line at the same time. 

Jungkook picked up on cycling about a year and a half ago, and he has practiced for marathons and competitions. His skinny arms that he called sticks are now bulging with muscles from his endurance. He has entered many competitions for fun. With his healthy heart, he didn’t have to worry about coughing up blood or ensuring it’s beating at a certain rate. Taehyung has attended all of his events and has been extra supportive. Likewise, Jungkook gladly joins and cheers on him for his badminton games. 

The judges place the silver metal over his neck, indicating his second place win. He’s not salty about it; heck, he had a blast! He’s sweating rainfalls and it feels so nice. People think sweating is gross, which may be true to some extent, but Jungkook never sweated so much in his life that it gives him life. His hair sticks to his forehead as his shirt is practically glued to his chest and is almost see-through. His arms are sore, and he’s breathing heavily, showing his efforts and hard-work.  After the mini ceremony, he and his new friend, Yugyeom, hug each other in congratulations. 

“You won this time.” Jungkook said, earning a grin from the other. He met him about a year ago, and they instantly clicked. He was born with the disability, so he learned the quirks and tricks to get through life. He loves helping and sharing these tips with Jungkook. 

“Yeah, by .38 meters! I can’t believe it myself!” Yugyeom said. They chat for a little longer before they head off to their loved ones. 

“Hyung!” Jungkook called when he spotted him in the crowd. Taehyung whips to the source and smiles, “Jungkookie!” He doesn’t hesitate to hug him, congratulating him on his win. 

“Eww, Hyung, I’m sweaty.” Not minding it one bit, he hugs him tighter. “I’m already sweaty from cheering you on anyways.” 

That night, they celebrated with some Italian food and a movie night. They cuddle on the couch, both of them focusing more on their presence than the film itself. In his boyfriend's oversized hoodie, Jungkook scoots closer to Taehyung, closing any gaps and inhaling his apple and cinnamon shampoo. 

Lost in thought, Jungkook thinks about how much his life changed. He was always weak and sick. It’s so different now. His heart pounds strongly against his chest (harder and faster when his sexy boyfriend is around of course). It’s insane that he wouldn’t be here today for it had not been his father. He thinks back to the funeral where he didn’t shed a tear to the once cruel man. He kept the letter though. It’s framed in his room as it was his first and last gift from him. Unconsciously, he moves his hand to his heart. 

As requested, he did live life happily and fully so far. He doesn’t miss any opportunity he gets and dives head-in into challenges. Partly for his father, but mostly for himself. He became so wild that Taehyung had to stop him from overworking himself several times. “Jungkook, I know you want to do so many activities, but you still have sixty years left. You won’t if you push yourself like this.” 

He smiles at how everything turned out. Finally, the weight on his shoulders lifts, and he knows that he has found inner peace. “Hyung.” He said. Taehyung peels his eyes off the movie, not that he was paying attention to it anyways, and looks at the younger. They peck each other’s lips. 

“I think I forgive him.” He said, relaxed. “I think he can rest in peace now.” Taehyung hums approvingly in response. He warmly smiles at those words. He’s glad Jungkook is able to let go of his grudge and to live happily without his father’s ghost bringing him down. 

“Hyung?” Jungkook called again. 

“Hm?”

“Thank you...for everything and for always being there. It must have been hard for you too.” He shyly confessed. A small tint of pink is blooming on his cheeks beautifully. 

“Aish, where is this coming from? I already know that.” That doesn’t mean he doesn’t smile wider at that. 

“Just wanted to remind you. I love you.” 

“Love you too, Jagiya.” They lean in for another kiss like the couple in the movie who have found their happiness ever after. Unlike its ending, their story continued. Taehyung may have proposed a year later on their anniversary and married him six months later.