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“Why are you avoiding me? For almost a week now I try to talk to you about what happened.” You yelled at Loki. Finally you had caught him in the library after he had disappeared every time you tried to catch him alone.
“I’m not avoiding you and there is nothing to talk about.” His voice was cold and it made you sick. He tried to walk past you but you grabbed him by the wrist.
“What do you mean there is nothing to talk to about? You kissed me!”
…
One week ago you and Loki were on a mission together. At first it went fine but a moment of carelessness from you and suddenly your blood was pouring out of a deep wound in your stomach. Loki had caught you before your body had hit the ground. He was holding you while he tried to stop the bleeding but it was useless.
“Don’t worry Frosty, I can handle a little scratch like that.” You tried to joke but you were frightened. You knew that this wound was fatal and that you hadn’t much time left. Maybe you could just sleep a little, you were so tired.
“No!” Loki shouted “You need to stay awake! I will get help.” He was about to stand up but you stopped him.
“Please stay here. I don’t want to be alone.” Your voice was weak and tears had build up in your eyes.
“I would never leave you y/n.” He pulled your head up a little and carefully put his lips on yours. And then everything went black.
…
“I saw you die.” He said annoyed. “I thought I would never see you again. I just wanted to say goodbye.”
“I heard what you said after the kiss.” You whispered and he turned around to look at you.
“What? But you were dead.” He said, looking confused.
“I know but I was still able to hear you.”
…
Your body became numb and Loki was still holding you.
“No no no! Y/N! Please don’t leave me!” He cupped your face and tried to do something with his magic but it was useless. He pulled you up and pressed your body against his chest. “Please come back to me.
I love you y/n.”
You had woken in a room in Stark Tower. Gasping for air you had shoot up in your bed and looked around in panic. Everything that had happened came suddenly back to you and you pulled your shirt up to see that the wound in your stomach was gone. Only the dried blood had remained from this nightmare.
…
“I thought you were dead!” He yelled angry.
“But I’m not, Loki!” You argued with him in the library.
“Yes, but no one could foresee that your new ability would bring you back from the dead.” Loki was now facing you. “You would have died if you hadn’t been lucky. And that would have been by far the most terrible thing that could ever happen to me.” His voice was loud at first but his last words were a mere whisper.
“Then why are you ignoring me? I thought you would be happy that I’m here?” You asked with a trembling voice.
“I’m beyond happy that your still alive.” His voice was calm again and the tension in his body vanished.
“Then give me a reason why you can’t admit your feelings.” You tried to be stern but the situation was exhausting you.
“Because I’m terrified y/n. When I thought you were dead, I was devastated. And we weren’t even together back then. If I give in to my feelings and something would happen to you… I can’t even imagine it.”
His eyes were filled with tears by now and yours weren’t dry either.
“Maybe I should leave then.” You said quietly. “Because I can’t be so close to you and still be so far away. That would be devastating for me.”
He hadn’t looked at you so you walked past him slowly.
…
You went back to your room as the tears took over. With a blurry vision you started to pack your things until you couldn’t concentrate anymore. You sat down on the floor and leaned your head against your bed.
After a while you heard the door to your room open and Loki walked in and over to you without saying a word. He kneeled before you and took your head into his hands. You couldn’t bring out a word, so you just watched him. He looked into your eyes with his sad but beautiful ones and the tears in your eyes began to build up again.
“I can’t bear to loose you either way.” He said, inches away from your face before his lips connected with yours again.