Chapter Text
Tommy wasn’t quite sure what he was doing.
His worn backpack had been packed for a few hours now一sitting tantalizingly at the end of his small twin bed. The money he had been saving up for months now (which he had obtained by completely legal means, thank you very much) sat snugly in his coat pocket. All he had to do now was throw the bag over his shoulder and climb out of his bedroom window. Just like he’d done a hundred times before. Simple as that.
Tommy wasn’t sure what made him hesitate. Contrary to what it may look like, he wasn’t running away. After his little adventure, the teenager had every intention of returning back to the dingy little house he begrudgingly called home. Even if the family he was staying with right now never really spared him any soft glance or offered him kind words of encouragement, they were still better than most of the other foster families he had been placed with in the past. Tommy just needed to keep reminding himself of that. It could always be worse
No, he would return eventually. He always did. He just needs to visit someone first.
A ghost, his mind supplied, you’re visiting nothing more than a faded memory.
Tommy didn't remember much about his mother. She had died when he was five一only having just started kindergarten. His family had never bothered to explain the logistics of the sudden sickness that had taken his mom to such a young child, and Tommy had never really wanted to ask. They say ignorance is bliss, and as he thought back on the last time he had seen his mother alive一well, not truly alive, she had really died the minute they wheeled her into that hospital一her frail body splayed against the stark white hospital bed, Tommy decided he’d rather not know what put her there.
Her death had destroyed him一had destroyed their family. No amount of scientific jargon or explanations could fix that.
Tommy only had one picture of his mom. It was one of the few belongings he had been allowed to take with him from that shattered home before being carted off by CPS. The picture showcased the two of them at some carnival, taken at dusk if the flash illuminating their facial features was anything to go off of. Tommy could remember that day pretty clearly, despite being so young at the time. His father had taken his brothers out to some fencing competition, and his mom, not wanting him to feel left out, had taken him to their local fair. Just the two of them.
Tommy had his short arms wrapped around his mothers neck, and his sneakered feet wound tightly around her waist. He was smiling brightly enough that you could clearly see that one of his front teeth was already missing, and he had a small stuffed cow grasped tightly in his left hand. His mom was smiling too一obviously having been caught mid laugh as the picture was being snapped. Behind them the faint outline of the ferris wheel towered above them, as the bright lights from all the flashy attractions danced lazily around the pair like a million rogue fireflies.
Tommy could remember that trip being one of the happiest days of his life. At that carnival, if even just for a brief moment in time, it had felt like the world consisted of just himself and his mom. There were no mean brothers who teased him and excluded him from their games. There was no father, who一despite his clear love and adoration of his youngest son一never took him to sport games or included him on the trips he would often take with the older boys.
No, it was just him and his mom. Just as the universe had always destined it to be.
In that moment一mind muddled by sugary candy and loud fair music, Tommy had fully believed the two of them to be indestructible. That they’d always be together forever.
And then, barely even a month later, his mother had died. And Tommy was left alone.
As Tommy surveyed the picture in his hand, he decided that's how he wanted to remember her. Not some barely responsive form一wasting away in a hospital bed as machines fought to keep her alive. But alive, and smiling. Just as she’d been in life.
Today marked ten years since she had died in that godforsaken hospital. Ten years since Tommy had been forced to stand at his mothers bedside and say his quiet goodbye, only receiving a weak squeeze in response, as her own withered hand fell limp in his own.
Ten years since the machines had flatlined, and Tommy had crawled into her hospital bed and screamed until one of his brother一or maybe even his father, his memories became blurry after the doctor pronounced her dead一had to lift him off the body and carry him into another room. He had kicked and protested until the sobs had taken over and he had cried until his voice went hoarse on the hospital floor. He couldn’t remember where his family had been for that, either, as a nurse had to sit with him and rub his back until his choked sobs had turned into nothing more than quiet whimpers.
Ten years since his broken family had taken the final blow they were never really able to recover from. The thing that shattered them, once and for all.
It’s just a burning memory.
It was nearing morning now, and Tommy knew that if he wanted to catch his bus he had to leave soon. Technically, only being fifteen he wasn't legally old enough to buy his own bus ticket yet. But all it had taken to get one was giving one of his school friends a few extra dollars, and the kid's older brother had returned with a one way ticket all the way to L’manberg the next day.
Tommy wasn't quite sure how he was getting back yet. He decided that he'd cross that bridge once he got to it.
The thought of returning to his hometown after so many years made his stomach clench up with something that could only be described as fear. Technically speaking, he hadn’t had any real ties with the town since being taken away all those years ago. But the thought of walking down those faded streets again made his heart burn with something akin to nostalgia. He already had the path from the bus stop to the L’manberg Memorial Cemetery burned into the back of his eyelids, so unless some incredibly drastic changes had occurred in the ten years that had passed since, he should have no problem getting to his destination.
Still, the nightmare of finally walking up to his mom's gravestone and finding nothing in its place sat heavy on his mind. Tommy wasn't sure what he would do if he had to live with the knowledge that the only thing standing between his mom's memory being remembered or forgetten forever, was only himself. He didn't want the only proof that he had once existed in the same world as his mother to be a singular creased photograph that lay unperturbed in his backpack.
Without another word, Tommy silently threw the bag over his shoulders and slide open his bedroom window. He didn't even bother to leave a note, knowing that there was a very real possibility that his foster family might not even notice that he was ever gone. That was the only perk of being a troubled foster kid一Tommy decided, nobody ever really missed you when you disappeared.
So, with nothing more than a memory in his backpack and a bus ticket in his pocket, Tommy slipped out his bedroom window and into the welcoming dawn.
The bus ride was fairly uneventful, and despite knowing the dangers of it all, Tommy napped through most of the trip. Usually, the drive to L’manberg from Tommy’s current home in Logstedshire wouldn’t take longer than an hour or so. But with the constant stops and strange route the bus has to traverse, the entire drive took a little under four hours.
Tommy couldn't complain, however. He’d always liked car rides.
When the streets started becoming a little two familiar for Tommy’s liking, and the road signs began pointing towards towns that he could一albeit, distantly一recognize, he once again found himself on edge.
Before long, the bus was pulling up to an all too familiar town square, and the vehicle came to a stop.
“Stop for L’manberg,” the bus driver called to the back, as a few other passengers start gathering up their things. Tommy was quick to follow suit, despite the fact that all he had brought with him was his old backpack.
As he exited the bus, the driver gave him a quick once over一obviously not having fully grasped his young appearance back in Logstedshire. Tommy pulled up his coat hood, trying to disguise his young features as best as possible while he quickly slipped past the man.
“Hey,” the driver said, before Tommy could walk down the bus steps. “What’s a young kid like you doing riding the bus all alone?”
Tommy paused, panic rising in his throat as he fought to think of a reasonable answer. “I’m visiting my mom,” he finally responded一not technically lying.
That seems to satisfy the bus driver, as he nodded and turned back towards his steering wheel. “Hope you have fun, kid.”
Tommy highly doubted that he would, but thanks the driver anyway as he fully exited the bus.
Unsurprisingly, downtown L’Manberg looked exactly the same way he recalled it being all those years ago. There was the public park, with the play climber that he remembered being so much taller when he was five. There was the ice cream shop and toy store that their mom and dad used to always take Tommy and his brothers to on their respective birthdays. Well that was until the twins had decided they were too old for toys and begged dad to take them to the video game store instead.
There were places Tommy didn’t recognize as well. A new bakery sat on the corner where the clothing store used to be, and Tommy’s mouth nearly started watering as he smelt the baked goods that had probably been made fresh there that morning. The town hall building had also obviously undergone some major repairs, as it didn’t look as spooky or haunted as Tommy remembered it being. They’d also replaced the old park pavilion, where he had eaten so many papered-bagged lunches when his pre-school class had taken day trips to the playground nearby. A beautiful gazebo now stood where it used to be, and despite feeling like a part of his childhood had been brutally ripped away, Tommy couldn’t help but think it looked nice.
Then there was… Prime Church, where they’d held his mothers funeral. Tommy tried not to look at that building too much, as he started down his rehearsed path towards the graveyard. He couldn't let the memories get to him now一not before he even got to see his mother’s gravestone. Now was not the place for mourning.
It struck Tommy when he was about halfway to the cemetery that he hadn’t even brought any flowers to leave at the grave site once he got there. Not that it mattered much, anyway. Much like his mother was now nothing more than a fading memory in the minds of the people who she had loved, Tommy too, was a ghost. He was nothing more than a mirage in the late morning sun, as he floated aimlessly down the streets he'd once called home.
He would finally be able to mourn his mother一a woman who he couldn’t even remember the voice of anymore, and then he would vanish almost as quickly as he had appeared. It would be like he had never existed at all.
Tommy decides it was best that way.
A part of him knew that, unless they had all moved away in the years he’d been gone, his family still lived somewhere on these familiar streets. His brothers would be grown now一either out of college or just finishing up, however his father would probably still remain. Tommy couldn't help but wonder if the three of them still kept in contact. If they still took trips together and went to go see sporting matches that Tommy would never be able to understand.
Had the death of their mother shattered their entire family, or had it only broken Tommy off from the rest of them? Was he the only victim in this this entire, bitter mess?
Nobody, in ten years, had ever tried to contact him, and the feeling was mutual. That is why, no matter how badly Tommy desired to see the outside of his childhood home just one more time, he kept to his well memorized path. He couldn't stray now, not when he was finally so close to getting closure.
Shortly after the funeralーwhen his father had started drinking and his brothers decided to pretend as if he no longer existed, Tommy had begged them all on multiple occasions to take him to the grave site. Usually he was just shrugged off or ignored completely. Eventually一when he finally realized that nobody was listen, he stopped asking completely. It wasn’t too long after that when his father decided he was no longer fit to raise a young child, and一before Tommy even knew it, he was being forced out of his familiar home and into the backseat of some strange woman's car.
The last memory he had of his father was watching him out the back seat of the social workers car, as the older man sobbed on the front porch by himself. His brothers were nowhere to be found at the time. He wasn’t even sure if he was ever even given the chance to say goodbye to them.
In that moment, Tommy had always believed that out of the two of them, his father had no right to be the one crying. Yet, Tommy had never shed a tear since. He didn’t think he had any left.
As Tommy approached it, he realized that the L’manberg Memorial Cemetery looked much too beautiful for what it represented. A large metal arch criss crossed over the entrance一overflowing with wildflowers coiling up the metal rungs and growing through the stones in the cracked pathway. Quietly, as not to disrupt the many ghosts that lay there, Tommy pushed open the metal gate and entered the silent garden. Trying his hardest not to step on any of the beautiful flowers that littered the ground, he swiftly made his way towards the only grave that held any true significance to him.
The headstone itself was very apparent, even when Tommy was standing nearly ten feet away from it. His father had spared no expense apparently, as not only was it the biggest grave in the cemetery, but arguably, the most beautiful.
Kristin Watson, the headstone read, 1973-2011, Daughter, Sister, Mother.
Tommy could remember another lady who looked similar to his mother at the funeral. She had explained to him that she was his mothers sister一his aunt, and they just hadn’t seen her around much because she lived far away.
Tommy had wanted absolutely nothing to do with her at the time. Every time she had even got close to him he would scream and cry until she went away. He hadn’t regretted his actions back then, and一as he reminisces on them now, he realizes that he still doesn’t. He’s not going to apologize for being a confused little kid.
Despite the fact that the grave itself was huge and beautiful一carved with intricate designs of his mothers favorite types of flowers and large pair of angel wings arching over her name一the area around it was completely barren. No flowers sat in the small vase placed in front of the headstone, and other than the neatly maintained lawn of the rest of the cemetery, the wildflowers surrounding it were completely overgrown. Obviously nobody had come to visit in a very long time.
Tommy carefully kneeled down in front of the stone, and delicately traced his mothers name with his pointer finger. His chest instantly flooded with a million emotions he couldn’t describe even if he wanted too.
Is this what he’d been missing these past ten years?
“They’ve forgotten you too,” he all but whispered一tears glistening in the corners of his eyes, as he traced the n in Watson . “Just like me. Don’t worry, I never forgot about you. I don't think there’s a day that goes by where I don’t think about you.”
Tommy couldn't be sure how long he sat in that graveyard. Eventually his knees grew tired and he instead sat criss-cross across from his mother一picking wildflowers and arranging them carefully in heart next to her name. As the sun continued to grow higher in the empty sky一and the temperature rose steadily, Tommy was forced to shed his heavy coat and let the sun sink into his soft skin.
It was a perfect autumn day, and Tommy sat contently in the presences of his mom.
Quietly, as to not disturb the sleeping dead, he started telling her stories of some the funny antics he and his friends got up to at school. He recounted his many successes in his english class, and excitedly explained how he currently has a B in chemistry一which is the best he’s ever done in any science class. He described the members of his current foster family to her, and how while they’re not exactly mean to him, but he knows they’ll never love him like a son. He softly sang any song he could remember the two of them belting around the house together, and nearly started to cry when he realized he could no longer recall the chorus to one of his favorites. Instead, he began to hum the melody softly一filling the dead cemetery with the sound of gentle music.
Tommy finally allowed himself to mourn, and accept the fact that his mother was truly gone. She'd never meet his school friends, or congratulate him on his good grades. He would never have another chance to sing with her in the car or hug her tightly whenever his nightmares became a little too scary. He now knew一above all other certainty, that she was dead. And for the first time since he sat beside her hospital bed一begging her not to leave, that thought didn't tear his heart to pieces.
It still hurt一it would always hurt. But Tommy understood that now he would truly be able to begin to heal.
Of course that is when the car had to pull up.
He heard the car motor cutting off first, before a small group of people gathered by the nearby curb and began to talk loudly amongst themselves. Tommy wasn't quite able to hear what they were saying, but he stopped speaking to his mothers gravestone regardless. He hoped that they were just parking here, and that their actual destination is somewhere other than the graveyard. But only moments after when he heard the telltale noise of the metal gate opening and the sound of footsteps shuffling in, he sighed deeply and begrudgingly accepted that he was about to have company.
His whole plan of not being seen appeared to crumble before his eyes, but he wasn't that alarmed. A lot can change in ten years, and Tommy was sure that anyone who knew him a decade ago would not even recognize him now.
Tommy can barely recognize himself anymore, if he’s being honest.
The voices continued to chatter aimlessly as they walked further into the graveyard. Tommy thought that they sounded much too happy to be coming from a group of people about to pay their respects at a cemetery. However, he silently chided himself for thinking that, only moments after, as he knew that everyone mourned differently. Besides, this probably wasn’t their first time in over ten years that they were able to visit their loved ones' gravestones. Tommy could only assume after a few visits it stops hurting so much.
Or maybe it doesn’t. He had no right to make that assumption.
The voices were only a few feet away from him when they stopped talking completely. Tommy assumed that they have finally spotted him, and are probably wondering what this random child is doing sitting next to a barren gravestone by himself. Tommy didn't have the energy to turn around and give them an explanation they didn't deserve to hear. So he just continued working on his flower heart in silence, instead.
That is until one of the people spoke again, and Tommy’s entire body suddenly froze, because he recognized that voice.
“Um, hey mate,” the person said, almost unsure. “What are you doing here?”
Tommy turned around slowly, unsure if he is going to regret confirming who was stood only a few feet behind him. He locked his gaze with the first person person he saw一who also happened to be the one who had spoken to him, and he is unsurprised when the eyes that stare back at him are his own.
That baby blue he had always despised. The eyes of a traitor.
Tommy always found it incredible ironic that despite the fact that he had always been the closest with his mother, they could not have looked any more different from one another. Instead, Tommy was one-hundred percent the exact replica of his father. Philza Watson. The man who was currently stood across from him at the gravestone of a woman who they had both once loved so dearly.
To be fair, he hasn’t looked at himself in a mirror in a while. But he suddenly understood why people used to always say he was his fathers exact clone when he was younger. The pair couldn’t have looked any more like father than son even if they tried.
Too bad that in this moment, they were basically strangers.
Tommy’s eyes shift past his father, and sure enough, there stood Wilbur and Technoblade一both of whom had completely gotten their likeness and features from Kristin. All brown hair and hazel eyes.
Tommy tried not to feel jealous, but just looking at the trio after so many years had passed made him feel like he was losing his mother all over again. Alone, alone, alone…
The father who had abandoned him and the brothers he’d never gotten to say goodbye too. Together again after ten years一standing at the grave of the woman whose death had broken them all.
Tommy should have known the universe would have never let this be easy for him.
His father seemed frozen一eyes scanning over the son he had given up nearly decade prior as he tried to gauge if this was real or not. The twins seemed to stand in an equal state of shock, both of their expressions going from confusion to horror as they realized their five year old baby brother was the person standing in front of them. Except Tommy wasn't five anymore, and a decade of time spanned before them like an endless void waiting to swallow them all whole.
Tommy refused to speak first一standing there unmoving as he stared down his estranged family. They’re not the ones who have spent the last decade of their life wondering what horrible things they could have done to be ostracized from their entire family at the ripe old age of five. They’re not the ones who were abandoned.
“I-” Phil finally spoke. “Tommy?” he barely croaked out.
“Theseus?” Techno whispered, and at the same time Wilbur said, “Toms?”
Three different names for one boy. Three different identities for the child they never bothered to watch grow up.
Tommy was stood at the edge of a precipice, as an entire decade of missing time threatened to pull him into the icy depths below. Ironically, he couldn't help but think of the greek myth Techno used to sometimes read to him before going to bed一on the nights when mom was busy. Theseus. The Greek hero who was killed by being thrown off a cliff. The nickname he hadn’t heard in over a decade.
The cliff grows steeper. Tommy tried to put the thought of lost bedtime stories out of his mind.
A father, a pair of twins, and a lost son walk into a graveyard. Somehow Tommy know’s none of them will be leaving without getting hurt.
He wanted closure, after all. Guess this is what that feels like.
Tommy stood up to face his family, and found that despite only being fifteen, he already towered over his father and Techno. Funny what ten years can do to a person.
Tommy took a deep breath. It’s now or never.
“Hi,” he finally responded.
And一none the wiser to the three remaining members of his family, with that one spoken word, it is as if a decades worth of emotions flood to the surface of his chest and nearly knocks him over. The flood dam breaks, and for the first time in ten years, the pent water is finally able to run free.
With that one word, Theseus falls.